The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

A tweeted picture shows a comedian friend of ours seeming to have quite the big unit.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply:��www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Alright Peebob Sagitt, there's a little stamos for ya. Chessy and the Rippers, I thought this was gonna be better. He's hot! I fell for it too.

Yeah. God, those baby ulcers are really like two monkeys, didn't they? Heh. It's weird that you have like very intimate pictures with someone else's kids. Yeah, dude, if you're like one of the Olsen parents, you're like, it's my daughter, you know. He wasn't the most affectionate with them too, was he? Yeah.

Hmm. Hmm. Someone tweeted at us, they're like, oh, it's gonna be a choke jerk episode tomorrow on the Bonfire. They haven't said how he died yet, right? No, they have it. He was on his world tour, Bob Sagitt. Word has it, he was headed next to Aruba, then Jamaica. Growing on the heat, Bermuda.

Bahama. Someone had just- And he was gonna round it all up under the big theater show in Kokomo. It's on another tweet that someone said bad, it it's been a bad year bad year plus for the hosts of wake up San Francisco. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's right. I am Becky. I am Becky with did some time. She's fine. She's out. Yeah. That kid's richer than ever. That kid's doing so good. Damn. Yeah, probably made money, made more money because of the scandal.

I'm dancing with the stars. She was? Yeah. Damn, that means my grandma's a fan of her before me. If you get on dancing with the stars, just know my grandmother's a big fan of viewers than mine. This is how it works. It pays more attention to that and the voice. We have a call, but Trevor from Jacksonville says that's the worst area of Jacksonville.

So sure, I'm only believe that. I heard it is very spread out. And you said it was a hooker hotel? Yeah. Did you see any ladies of the night? One almost certain. Really? Yeah, but he's going for it opposite.

Even more than a hooker hotel, it was like, you'd see children walking around did it like one in the morning. Dad, you know what I mean? Yeah, when you see little kids, when you hear a child, that's so depressing. Yeah, a little child too late in the hotel,

you're like, ah fuck. You know, it's more depressing. Me wishing that they would shut up so I could jack off to my free life. Stop! I'm watching this woman be defiled, child! What are you saying about your, when you ordered? Dude, you're gonna like this story. Can't believe I didn't open with this. I'm starting to, I'm writing stuff down for some reason.

I know it's gonna start writing stuff down because we also have evil stuff in children's video. Yes, but this is, you're gonna really enjoy this. I'm starting to, I stopped writing stuff down for some reason. I know it's got to start writing stuff down because we also have evil stuff in children's video. Yes, but this is, you're gonna really enjoy this. Very, I did not feel good about myself. I confessed the next day on stage. I, Thursday night, I went there. The food at the club is very fingery food and nothing. Chitty fingers, mozzarella sticks, yeah, chinklings.

You don't want to make your dinner. So I was like, I'll get something. I looked around, there's a lot of stuff on Uber Eats. Some of my shows, only Thursday, so it shows over nine. Done. Whatever. Back up in the hotel room to watch a movie and eat something delicious.

Put the show in so abruptly, and it's a lobby of a hotel. So it just clears out, and there's comics hanging out and they were like oh you know there's another show going on at the cigar bar they do they start doing it's pretty fun show it's good and I was like you can smoke inside like cigar bar and you go yeah I'm like you smoke cigarettes in there and they're like yeah I go I'll go over check it out so drove over to this place with them and hung out there for a while. Hey, who's your friend?

They asked me if I go on I went on for a little bit. It was a whenever I go to a cigar bar It's always Bobby Kelly and then it's always he knows everybody. He's like this is shine That's big Nick these guys fucking best bats in the fucking town Did we fucking watch the past in the UFC hit did? Oh? Back this whole put a pit in that real quick. Are you in the scar shop? Please put a pit in that, but also because nothing is getting a big

conversation about maybe you could find it online Christine, but did you see on the SVU? You watched it. You said also Jason Biggs for some reason was on the episode. What? And they they eventually have to announce it's part of the storyline that he's Jewish and Italian, but the way they wanted to hammer that home to you

is I swear to you, not joking. In full, it's so bad. In full drama, he goes, way he goes, they're gonna get away with it too. Oh, my own. No. I swear to God. No. No way. And then with it too. Oh, my own. I swear to God. No way.

And then later as to go, because why am I actually Italian and Jewish? Oh my God. The surprise. Yeah, where the fuck did he come from? Out of nowhere. He's on the team now? But no, but just the way he goes, he goes, oh, my own. I can't believe it.

I love it. Crazy. So, cigar store or cigar bar. So you're in the cigar bar in Jacksonville. There's a show going on there you can smoke inside. Yeah, I did the show. My point is I hung out there for a couple hours. We're there for like two hours.

Sure. Total I guess. So, I think I dropped off home and I was like, oh I should grab some, I think I get some, I haven't eaten at all today. Yeah, I need to get some food. Even where I'm at this point, I'm like, oh, I bet there's nothing to have. Like, Denny's or a fast food. Yeah. I may always get a little bit of fast food. I'm so hungry. I got to eat something. I look at Uber Eats. I don't know. I've ever seen this.

It was just nothing. It just like they said, there's nothing available at all. And say everything was closed. A hundred percent of places. Then I just went online, forget that I go at 24 hour things in this near me, nothing. And then I called down the front desk and asked if they had a vending machine. They said yes, they have like dusty old shit, this shit, you know, but I was like, I'm going to get it. When I was walking to my room, I told you this is the everything's on the outside the doors go right to the outside On that walkway two doors before me Someone had some uberie. I know so then when I walked it was sitting outside their door

So then I walked back outside to go to the vending machine. I was like Where do they get it? I mean stuff stuff's been closed. Now they said, like an hour or so. I'm like, where's this food? I go, oh, maybe they fell asleep or something forgot. So I got on stairs. I get my dusty fucking snacks. Where'd you get cardedis? I got Doritos. Great. I got peanut M&Ms. Love them.

I heard she's bar with almonds. Why not? That was it. Okay. So, eating drink, water? I had water, remember. So I'm going back. Sounds you know what? I'm already with you. So, and what's in front of this door, by the way, is a bag inside of a plastic bag, a paper bag and a plastic bag, and a soda sitting there. So when I go back up past, there again. I still outside. I think I spoke to Sigour at this point, kind of depressed that my dinner is gonna be, did it start becoming like you were like cartoon hungry?

Where like the meals started talking to you and you started getting delirious. Yeah, the oasis Jerry the soda started talking to you. Well, they're not gonna have me Walked by it again and went into my room with my snacks put them on the thing and I was bum I looked at the snacks on the bed and said you've done your nothing now. It sucks, but and I was like wouldn't be a bad dessert You're not wrong about that. I said, look at a Hershey's bar and some peanut M&Ms and some chips and you go,

when my unfinished in a meal with you guys, I went back outside, went over and snagged the bag, brought it my room, put it down, paced a little bit. I paced a little. Oh my God. Oh my God. Cracked it open. Yeah. Inside the paper a little. Oh my god. Oh my god. Cracked it open.

Yeah. Inside the paper bag, inside the plastic bag. Yeah. Which is simply one burger with, actually, it was a double burger. With egg on it. Stake and shake. Love staking shake.

Love it. I don't. Love that egg on a bag. I love an egg on a burger. I mean, if I'm going staking shake, I'm going I know. Love that an egg on a bag. I love an egg on a burger. I mean, if I'm going staking shake, I'm going frisco melt all day every day. Holla, if you hear me. I'm gonna say about a sour dough class.

Staking shake all the south, there's just, I don't know. It's not, it's in the highest point. It's all other't know it's no it's not high. Oh, yeah, it's all other place It's national it's it's pretty national. It's in a lot of states, but man. Well, here's thing It was and I opened it and it was cold It's been there for a long time. Yeah, they probably fucking they fell asleep. So then I Throw it in the microwave. Yeah, did I had? Heated up nice and I just ate it stay I didn't even take time I wasn't gonna sit and enjoy it up nice. And I just ate it. Stay. I didn't even take time.

I wasn't gonna sit and enjoy it. You fucking. I just ate it over the sink. What was the soda? It's sitting in front of the door. Why didn't you hear, buddy? So then I go to myself. I'm gonna get up bad boy. So I go to myself. When I'm done eating it, I feel so good, but so bad that what I've done. I was like, it's like it's it when you get the heroin in you You know what you have serious when they're high on those shows and they're like I don't know why I do this I don't know why I do this myself. I Had like I was having a little bit of that where I was like I But I was more like I would put I was satisfying. I would put chips on the burger

I would put Doritos on the burger I said yeah, was there no cheese? Here's my egg. I said, yeah. Was there no cheese? There was cheese. Oh, yeah. I, uh, wait. I don't know. I don't know if there was.

Uh-huh. I thought the egg was cheese, but it was egg, but it didn't matter. It was sustenance. I was so hungry. Yeah. I, um, donner party rules, dude. I felt bad after I was like, you know what?

Let me take a $10 bill. You're gonna slide under their door. I felt bad after I was like, you know what, let me take a $10 bill. You're gonna slide under their door. I just eat their food. Like, they're not gonna do who it was. And I went outside and as I stood by their door, I was like, you know, if I just steal the soda too, don't ever even know I was there at any part of it all.

So I just stole the soda. What was this on? It was die-cooked, I was there at any part of it all. So I just stole the soda. What was the sound? It was die co-eyed through his flat. I was thrown out, but it was a coaxie hero actually by throw it out. Um, say, Perfect crime. Yeah. Perfect crime. And they probably woke up and were like, do we ordered, and they said they delivered it.

We never got it. Yep. You wonder if those people at any moment with You think someone snagged it from out front doesn't matter anymore by the way You felt weird you saw them. Yeah, where they look like oh no, I saw the people next to them I was the people that were more next to them. Damn it. Damn it. I never saw a person from that The way I want to know what they look like. I died when he told me he did that. It seems like such a nodded J move

and like something he would totally judge somebody else's. I'd be furious if Christine even suggested it. How good were those M&Ms though after you had that burger? I had the Hershey bar with nuts. You didn't have the M&M? I had them the next night.

Oh, for good design. I would have gone through all three. But then I learned at the club. You get cheeseburger sliders. You take off the bread and you just have little, it was, that was fine. I can heat those up my room. That's what I did. Both nights, cheeseburger sliders for dinner. Man, bunless cheeseburger sliders. Uber eats. I always, I always think about like comics that went in the 80s and 90s in early 2000s with like none of the stuff We have right now where there's like no breed you know what I mean you were just like Yeah, the most hotels I was around for before we breed some of stuff

The hotels used to have like a fucking binder of like menus Yeah, and that was also kind of fun because those menus going online like Those things to find the menus like I used to like holding the paper menu I'm like, ooh look at that picture of that fucking turkey sandwich. What up? That looks like a motherfucker. Yeah, we went We went and stayed this place up upstate and they had one of those binders with all the restaurants and stuff I'm like all the stuff left sitting like this is fun. This is a very fun way how Disappointed I am when I go collect it as the front desk from time it goes. There ain't late night food here

What's like open late night? That's like good food and they go well here. Let me look and they just start like I go no I'm asking you the person yeah, I Always I do like I know it's obnoxious and I hated it when I was a waiter when people would be like what do you like here? But I do like when you ask someone what are they like and they give you a real answer? Yeah, yeah, I like what they're like, oh, I fuck with that burger really, like the burgers really good. You know, like the short ribs and like the burger. Yeah.

Then you're like, he thinks they're standing up for something, bud. This waitress, Leah, who was a sweetheart the whole weekend, she was funny because everything else like, are the chicken fingers good? She was like, mm hmm. Like everything I said, she's like, it's good. And it's just like, but I mean, I want you want me to. Yeah, I just eat whatever. Yeah, she's like mm-hmm I'm like everything I said she was like it's good and it's just like but I mean I already want anything Yeah I just eat whatever

Yeah she's like no it's all great We got a good Philly week this week Coming in Well tomorrow Oh yeah yeah yeah For the Thursday show we got Beezer and Shanner For me the Fee you fucked it podcast Now that's episode will be out Thursday

Wednesday you got Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope. Yeah, it's gonna be all Philly. Dave Philly things will speak in another Philly guy I keep living show you this last week on the show I sent it to Christine. It was on Twitter one of our Philly friends Ian Fadance Where we going? Going to playoffs. Shout out over to me. Someone threw me to another nine or so. Where are we going? After we came back from 17 points down Fuck everyone that said we'd one five in a row fell off my bunk bed when I saw this rise of Ian's hog this morning Oh, where is it? Yeah, and then it's Michael rainy. Yeah, Michael rainy rules All Michael rainy at Michael rainy 82 and Tim butterly. Can you make it any bigger? Dad me podcast rules

What am I okay here because it's right leg If you guys are seeing something you want to see you don't think that's real I think it's just like a bend in the fat maybe Deans got a big huge fat cock. It's nothing possible He's got a face huge fat cock that's not impossible. He's got a face made for big dick pornography. Oh, every, every girl and a couple of guys in the comedy scene now and they see Ian pull up. Beautiful.

Can't we just ask him? Can we just ask him if he see Q-tex Dn and ask him if you guys are really huge big fat dick? Yeah, just like Ian, do you have a huge hog? Did my- say any for a friend? I'm gonna say this is from Jay and Dan. Yeah, yeah, ask if the picture that Michael Rainey tweeted is real. Is that his big fat cock running that as like? Bouncing around, is that just a fold in the fabric?

Because there's a dick. Kelsy Cook put up a picture of me and you from balls of fury and it looks like I pissed myself Oh really on the inside looks like I just pissed all the inside of my pants. I tell everybody that I pissed you I pissed dance he what he does is it's not how you think it is My fixer your zipper my zipper and then down the leg And then and then I should shake the ultimate jackass. I shake him side to side. Hey, I'm Steve Oh, and this is pissing your friends pants.

This is pain. Pain. I'm Johnny Knoxville. And this is paying down your friend's leg. He might be in the Royal Rumble. They're trying to get Johnny Knoxville in the Royal Rumble. Really? Yeah, I haven't watched a lot of WWE lately,

but I saw that. When is the Royal Rumble? Into this month. Oh haven't watched a lot of WWE lately, but I saw that. When is the Royal Rumble? Into this month? Oh, so I was gonna say maybe it's like, well, they got it like, they're gonna start hyping up Jackass. February, right? Was what it was moved to.

Damed like it would never get here. We still got to do a private show and it'd be so fun. If Jackass? Yeah. Yeah. Says get like a theater. We heard it's not that expensive to rent a theater.

Let's do it. And get like, it's all friends to go watch it. That'd be very fun. That'd be so fun. Then we can jackass in the theater afterwards. I'm Dan Soder and this is watching Jackass in the theater with your friends. Ah!

Hey, I'm DJ Lo and this is Surfing Down the Isles at AMC. I'm Louis J. Gomez and this is Puerto Rican popcorn. Okay. Welcome to watching Jackass. Do you subscribe to Louis's? No. Sour Patch Kids in popcorn? I thought I'm that.

What? It's dumb. No, it's not. It is though. No, it's fucking delicious. No. Have you done it? Yeah. I love it. I fucking more Have you done it? Yeah. I love it.

I fucking... More than chocolate in it? Yeah. Chocolate's for... That's... Is this the 80s? Get out of here. Well, I'll tell you this.

Hey, Annelise. Chocolate Popcorn is its own thing. It's its own thing. No one makes gummy popcorn make this. Well, they fucking should because it's delicious. It's the one good thing I got out of a girl I dated was Sarah Patch Kids and popcorn. It fucking rules. Yeah, I love it. Not loving your soul and your heart making you a complete person. No, that's what I got from this relationship. I mean that one.

Oh, I got Sarah Patch Kids about. That's what I'm currently in right now. The old one. But she brings you no fun snacks. Oh, quite the opposite. Katie drops bombs. We snack hard. Yeah. Yeah, she's down to getting into the mud when we were eating like taco balance shit. Yeah. She's your road dog.

Do you know as a couple yet that if it's a double-sourcing of something, you know, if you have to do like a ranch hot sauce, so I'm like, yeah. Do they know it's the thicker first? And then you put it in the out like if somebody goes hot sauce to buffalo, yeah, that's, I'll bring it up in court when we break up. No, you got to go the sauce that sticks harder and then the hot sauce. Correct. Right? So ranch first ranches the base layer.

Yes. And then hot sauce. Yeah. You don't want some dumb bitch. You doesn't use her head. Honestly, I'll mix it up, dude. Yeah. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. You go hot sauce first. Why not, dude? Wow. What are we partying? She caught me putting hot sauce on my fried rice and I look at about stupid. Look at black loose face. You've completely turned them off. No, I have it. You might still be frowning any instant. You know what it's turning them off? Is that he's nervous that this week,

the Cowboys are playing the 49ers on the 40th anniversary of the catch. Oh, it's also the 40th anniversary of Stonewall. So, it's not true. Honey, I was there at Stonewall, and he is, he is looking at 55 years, Mr. Sister. We call my mom's dog day. We say he's an old gay man.

And it's very fun. It's very fun by day four where we're like, what's this old queen want? There he goes. This is a little dog walking in. We're like, what's up bitches? Did Ian answer you? He said what picture.

I just sent him. Yeah, dude. It's like, what? My secret's out. I just said him. Yeah, dude. It's like what my secrets out. I'm not Batman. Oh, no This is a good fetus. This would be my profile pic of our him. Yeah Yeah, dude him Float around that big old you can just do it What you just make your dick look like that and pants. Yeah, Chris definitely did that with that remote control. Exactly. Because he's only in particularly tight pants.

Yeah, they seem to go a little give to him. So you would have to have a barrel. I mean, you have a dick that big. You can't just use it on women. You have to use it on some guy. You got to spread it all over the place. Yeah, you can't, you got to do it. The good bisexual guy goes, yeah. Top of my dick's fucking total dude. The bass is all over the place. Yeah, you can't you guys do You know, you buy sexual he goes yeah top of my dicks fucking total dude the bass is all butthole

Let me give you a claim and queer from four inches down. Let me give you the longitude and latitude to where boys can see it The defend depends how much you can take what do you say he's typing? Oh? What is dick? Yeah yeah just slapping the head against it he goes how many letters did I get that was one slap yeah I just hit the middle button for the word and still typing he said let me tell you guys little boy grown up and filled out for you finally has his first school show. Loose the pop, but retains a little piece of family. I feel like he does the way he's typing about it now. Christine, you're really reading there.

Do you write you a real thing? As well, Christina, I mean, if you'd like to want to come down for a review, measure it for me, it's been a while. Part of viewing. I can give you a viewing. Pop can I offer you a viewing? Would you like to see it? If you wouldn't mind, we had a weekend.

You wanna see it? I wanna see what you're doing to me. I wanna see it. What do you say? I mean, I got a hammer, but it doesn't run halfway down my leg, but to continue the legend, say yes, L.O.L. Nice.

All right, I'll told you guys, everyone relax. Ian was almost my new best friend. Dan, don't worry. I know you're looking for a bigger dick friend that'd be my new best friend. Dan, don't worry. I know you're looking for a bigger dick friend that'd be your new best friend. Sorry. I need cock. I let you down.

I'm not gonna get funny. I need cock. Every time you saw me in this under where I knew you were thinking you should have bigger dick best friend. I got me and... Chase got Kurt, but who do I have? You didn't know who had a monster cock in your friends growing up, far fox, beret.

No. No idea. No. Damn, I bet you knew, Lou. Oh, no, I didn't see too many in my life. You just knew how different they all tasted. Yeah. I don't know if they like me. Johnny's a little salty.

Did you know? If a friend had a big dick. As, yeah, my later teens, I'd say more, not like little, little kid. But Randy Hanken, I knew, had a big pig. Nice name, pig, yeah dude. Nice name, good name for a big dick. We were young, young, he had a biggie.

You're healthy. Yeah. Randy Hanken. Yeah. He's like, Jesus Christ. Randy Hanken. So Randy Hanken. JTUZM, we've got a trick creepy cock

Do you mind if I see it? Randy Thank you, Randy Had a big old Venus Randy Hacking Yeah, hit that stint Sint Solo

Oh, yeah, not half of it on his leg Hick that's the John Ham effect dude He has little ripples in my thing. I totally lose told me that they goes damn you dick is like a roll like a roll of Cookie dough or something. I was like that's my gunt. You have to shit shut up. Shut up. Fuck you dude. Stop fuck you so hard So you're doing an intent on I will we'll cover this later Very interested about this Lewis bet. Though. Yeah. 2k PS5. What day? 2k 22. A month from last Monday. So February 3rd. He's scaring. We'll talk about tonight, dude. We're going to do it. He... I played NBA 2K my whole life. I'm pretty confident that you would be able to beat me by 20.

Because I suck at it. Yeah. I'm telling... I don't want to say this over and over again. But Lewis, the problem is he could learn the mechanics of the game. He still doesn't probably... He won't know by then that, like, Shaq doesn't shoot three-point. He's gonna say something. He't shoot three points. Do you know what I mean?

He's got some strength. He should get more points. Right. And I'm just going to bully him. Correct. He won't listen to this. He doesn't even believe this is a real show. Are you going to use M.B.D.

Just back him down whole time? It doesn't matter if he hears that. Yes. And then when his team, in every team in every AI or he himself starts to never be double teaming him, then Danny Green and Seth Curry are going to light up three points. Light up their eyes, boys! Thigh bowl, steals. Christine was watching today my clamp down defense. It's insane. Oh, buddy, I'm getting fucking juiced for this. I know it's a crossover episode and I'm ready for it

And also then the funniest thing by the way is if it just you know This is one of the cards the sitcom on the screen flips and it's just me like when bending over getting a Of the duck on thing on my butt. Can I ask you something about the fucking Nintendo gun? Yeah, it's got a the fucking Nintendo gun yeah it's got a got a little bit on the front yeah I said that too but he doesn't seem to think that's gonna be a problem I rip now well if you get an anal Fisher you know that's how James comes you don't punch that thing into there you got to like you got to get that you get that you say if you do do it or go do do do it or go bottom in yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let us whole swallow the little

yeah, don't force swallow, but then be a bit of a bottom in but then I want him to accept the rest into him except it Lewis. Why would you accept this into you? I want you to accept it. Should we take our last break and come back? Yeah we can't because thenhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in oh could we please hear a little gram only before tomorrow before taking break yeah back at what fucking day sounds like a wild and wonderful white from West Virginia yeah sorta gram Ali completely different than the way I raised them I never beat my kids. I spent them my grandchildren get time out They shut up to think a more Shit is dude. It's my it's my heck bit. Yes, you're black out They go time out for moving that ass

They get time out from get their whances whoop time they get time out time out Hang around and be more soft black people are different than white people. Why people have rights and stuff All right, they can take rental cars across I got that the I can wear a mask into all more black fellow game. You're good. You're good So tune into time out with it come to a high school basketball game. Coach, you'll timeout there with the M-corner's. I'm babysitting my four year old grandson of all back, he bit his baby's sister, I beat his ass. He looked at me as a puppy dog, I said and said grandma mommy and daddy give me time out

I said grandma's got a brand new game sudden death Go play I'm trying to watch springer. You little fuckers She's kidding you Kristy look up dirty grandma comedy in general. It is always funny. I love it There's 80 of them I'm sure my husband's dead, but I'm glad he's that way because now I can get other day. Finally, I get to explore cock! Dirty grandma comedy. Yeah, I mean mom's mably was like right and she did that. She'll be racist. She wasn't dirty. She was just black. She's grandma comedy, though, right? Damn, dude. I think so, yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. You make it racial. You go watch Tommy too, smooth. Dude, Lula May, his dirty old lady. You always make it racial. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Back at what fucking day?

To grandma comedy. Lula, you'd better late night. You'd at least go back to her place while she jacks off on a bed in front of you you take a huge Yeah, you better with you better pulling out of you. Dude if the drinks were pouring Grab while he was offering to use like a live have another one. You ever had Johnny a walk up blue Sit down I got a Don Julio 1942 that you socks off those years born the first time the first time I called a cream pie was to this Oh, I was in the back of 62 Ford Chevrolet

Now 30 gram our stand-up comedy is more effective stand-up comedy. Yeah Stand up comedy is more of a thing stand up comedy. Yeah Back oh So I says I can't feel if it's in my pussy so baggy It shows like it's good Josh out of the layers as a grandma. Yeah That's sort of how they all sound though. Yeah, naughty grandma. There she is hilarious Grandma stand up comedy No, it doesn't mean she's gonna be dirty though. Let's see all sag it Dirty joke lady

That might be good. I know we'll take a break. We'll come back. Maybe we'll have a good one Who the hell even knows anymore? I think we will find children's videos that are influenced by EVIL. So weird. So, so weird. Didn't even know it was a thing. Could make serial killers.

Oh, Dan, I guess you're so great. You don't watch children's videos. You don't watch eight hours children videos. No. Real nice, dude. No. Okay. Well, how do you expect to learn? I like Jacob teach me every you support guys who bang kids then hot Dan. No, I don't I like Mel Brooks not like you who looks Woody Allen damn you turn your teacher very quick You turn on your teacher very quick Jacob teach me. Well fuck you then Jacob. Yeah, Jacob you want a fucking girl? You've been listening to... SiriusXM's bonfire!

New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows Always on SiriusXM! you