The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - A Royal Gary

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

Dan & Jay watch the royal interview with Oprah and discover Megan has her very own Gary.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle 

Hey, it's Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Welcome to the Bonfire podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday, and want more bonfire. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. You can go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special three-month offer. The Bonfire! The Thumb Fies! I missed the Royal interview or I didn't put it on because I was Channelingly watching wrestling. I wouldn't have given a shit to watch it at all on Christine's that she wanted to watch it Which still fully can't explain why it's I've never understood anyone's fascination with royalty me neither neither. People that stay up and watch the royal wedding. I think they just like to see this spectacle.

Because it's just I guess, but the spectacle is just useless. It doesn't mean it's just like a weird, anointed thing in the country. I don't give a shit about I am the Duke of Hasbro. Yeah. I said to you that you're my cousin, but you married the king from Spain. So now we're all cousins. If they do. Everyone cousin fucking. If they do good shit, fantastic.

Oh, Jacob, how about we have a little rule around for cousins? I have just as much credibility if I said, uh, uh, Prince Dan and Prince J. Why, thank you little Jacob. I don't understand. There's nothing more to it. You just said to me. Yeah, dude. Dude, all the all the inbreeding that happens is so funny that we should just call them cousin

fuckers. You know, it all falls royalty to cousin fuckers every time you read it. It all falls apart completely when you get like the ones disowned because he was Diddwinch little girls with Epstein just because I had to do some taste for the fresh Pied a child I can no longer see myself running Yes, I succeed was four days after who abogments ways and that they are ceremony to become a woman stop it Some say that Cornish game hen is the best meat because it's so young and tiny. Dan, be honest what makes us been coming up a lot lately.

Now you're sitting next to me again. Wankai for sure. Dude, you're fine, dude. Hey, what's up? You're great. You're great. You're great. All right, I won't bring up again.

I forgot about the two in-person Wankai. Well, I won't bring up again. I won't come up BS. Christine, bring up the Christine. Why did you want to watch the interview? Why did you give a shit at all? I'm really Interested in the story the whole idea of the monarchy to me It's just wild that a country still allows that to be that like one family born into something gets to rule or have any sort of authority whatsoever. They have no authority.

Like, but isn't it? Well, no, there's still, there's still figureheads, there's still part of it, there's a whole, there's a whole like abolish the monarchy thing going on in England. Yeah, I don't think like legalizing weed doesn't run up the ladder to the queen. Yeah, she does it goes.

I don't really know. Roast that shit. But they, their figureheads that like their country allows them to be. And I thought it was really crazy that this half black American girl infiltrated the system like that. Infiltration. Why is it got to be an infiltration? Why is it infiltration?

It was. It was. It's a huge aided a rich girl and you know how like rich society is let alone royal society. Yeah. So for a girl, you know, for this prince to who was, you know, born of this woman, Diana, who was tragically killed by, you know, however, he said ginger doofus. I know. And that's why we must keep him as far away from the crown as possible.

He's like, he wouldn't be anyone to, he wanted to be himself. And I think that's really cool that they were able to leave that institution and be who they want to be. I think it sounds miserable to let him know. He didn't know. There's no way he knew. He didn't know Meghan Markle was half black, so way deep. He had already proposed.

He was laying in bed one night. Anyway, no, that's not true though, right? Yeah. Oh, dude, going through photo abs. Who's this? Who's the help? Is this the, is this the nanny or is he the chef? We try cook a clean. We try and does this one do that's your excuse my foot. What you're about? Oh

How do you already been to the past? How do we spin this? We are on deal or no deal on dad and I I'll watch deal or no deal with her Yeah, she was one of the deal girls and she was great. I think she's 20 numbers. And she just wanted to hold on. You actually remember her number? Dude, she fucking killed it. Three seasons at number 20 that she was down in the middle of the deal model. Yeah. So she can hold briefcase as well. I can't believe I got to take her seriously when she has this interview. Well, no, her philanthropy and like what they do in the way they spend their time is admirable.

And I know that they have all the money in the world to do it. But you know, these are people that came to want to help others from what I can pick up on the interview. I think the part of it is that they said they didn't want to do royal shit and then they don't get any money anymore. Too much credit. That's a cure. Now, Christine, hang on a second.

Too much credit for people doing philanthropic work when they're trophy wife like royalty. Do you know what I'm saying? A lot of people don't know. I know, you're right. A lot of people just go rich bitch it and fucking I get it. But when they do it, now it's a little bit too much. It's like, if you're not a raging piece of shit,

you'll take money that you will never spend in your lifetime and go like, hey, maybe this'll fix a kid's Drupi-I before he grows up and has a radio show and has to stare at his own Drupi every day. That's also, yeah, if it's that, if it's some sort of fucking cosmetic thing where it's like, no, your Drupi-I's fine, you don't have a Drupi-I.

But if they're just fixing clef lips, which you know, that's clef eyes fine. You don't have a droopy eye. But if they're just fixing cleft lips, which you know, that's cleft palettes. That's chill. I don't know enough about like what their charitable work is. I want her to get into the war zones. I want her going to the fucking. Oh, they do, they were holding black kids

and kicking soccer balls. They were doing all that shit. Where and white palettes. I'm not saying they're doing, I'm saying it's good they're doing this stuff, but they're able to do it. You're right, a lot of people don't I'm just like It's too oversold like like look. They've done a good thing with all this extra money. Oh, she's an angel. Yeah, flew private and also it

Do they do any of it where there's not cameras for them to make you get photo ops people don't write about themselves and that's Something you know, it's like they're not the ones writing the stories and you know, oh that's something you know it's like they're not the ones writing the stories and you know reporting. Oh, a lot of times it's invite the press to watch us kick a soccer ball with black kids in our arms. But that was a five made that call plenty they never show. I'm just sitting there in the park like an asshole with two random black kids in my arms and waiting for a soccer ball to be sent my way and they never show up. Christine there's a reason I'm 21 and 4 in the Queen's Burrow flag football league. That's because the press never showed and I had to coach two full seasons.

You never showed up. And the kids didn't take to my system. You know, I was a running gun and they just wouldn't listen. That's five wide. Let's fly, baby. Five wide. When they were two to the make too is that like the royals almost exist because of the tabloids and like that's kind of the relationship

They you know keeps them alive is just like the fame that other people give them It's just really how much they like honor the royals Yeah, well that's my favorite thing about this whole thing is one of the heat that they're catching is that they were worried How black the baby was gonna be and that's a very odd thing to do when you see how inbred royal families. They got so lucky. They got teeth from, they got teeth like fish from the bottom of the ocean that they just found recently. Oh my god. This point, oh, their son might have the most massive five and a half inch penis that that pals has ever seen. He's not good to have a little pigly wiggly tail like his popper.

We maxed out at Charles at five inches. How many or how many points of centimeters do you understand that the pink curve goes back over seventeen generations? Oh they've always looked like pig tails. That's it. I want to mush the front tails that is a jigging water. Oh, I love the royals. God, he loves the royals. He watched every wedding. He only goes he's what he walk, but he goes fucking prints is all of big decks. Yeah, well, that's what I'm not gonna miss that shit. I have a big dick. Yeah, fuck fruits. Fuck you. You don't know nothing about those colonial scum prints, dicks. You wish. Fuck you. You wish you got bad boy. Yeah, dude, I've all the weddings and stuff my half uncle that I barely talked to I don't talk to him anymore

Dude sucks. He cried when Diana died and I remember being like teacher gay Is there be like why you cry? He died from AIDS not gay though As we know it wasn't that about that, but he I remember he was like super super upset in a way that as a fucking However old I was like 13. I was like dude. What's up, man? Did he fucking fall apart a goodbye Although I was driving you but no We were driving like a Broncos game used to take me to Broncos games and we were driving and I look over and he's like tears up And we're like listen to the radio. He's like, she was real special and I was just like, dude, what? Good bye for instance, Ty. You married a very ugly guy. I mean, she died in a car scene

from the movie Ronin. So I understand why like you were so cool that you never laughed at a guy named Dodie. Yeah You didn't laugh him out of your face. Well, I'll go took that hard. He took it too hard Let's see what seems to me You know originally when I wrote this song it was about a crazy model that used to fuck presidents You know originally when I wrote this song it was about a crazy model that used to fuck presidents. But anyways, here's the remix about a new dead blonde lady. He got a nice old new batch of fucking money off this. Yeah.

And he goes to it, he's just sitting around somewhere going like, do you guys think if I just re-did the song anyone would notice? And they're like, they're pretty shit. He can't wait. He's gonna,, Naomi Watts. No, no, no, no, pretty hot in that one movie where you showed your boobs and bush. Good think he was a David Lynch film. Goodbye, Angelino, Jolie, and you're like, all right, or it's the clear move. Goodbye, Madonna,

the singer and actress, although I I'll never you really need two names for this well the interview was with Oprah and was it across all the networks or was it just on one network I was just CBS yeah but it was that exclusive I didn't know if it was like a presidential address it was so she was like I was so just in that house with those people. She goes, I don't want to live anymore. And I was just dramatic and stupid. So that's the whole thing.

Just like, I didn't know what I was getting into when I went into a palace living family. Well, I think girls from the time they're young, they're like, you're a princess. Be a princess. And this girl had a legit shot at being a princess and then she got it She's like oh man. This is like real creepy It's going to be as lame as you thought it was gonna be I don't think she thought it was gonna be lame She probably thought it was gonna be no I know but if she really broke down the thought of what she's thinking like and we sit at tables where we're a fucking

Quarter mile apart. Yeah while a servant brings us tea. It's like yeah I want to do that for the pictures, but like in practice, like, man, dinner's very lonely when my husband's 400 me is away. Sorry, I can't be closer to you love. But this is how tables all here. Oh, you learn to speak with your diaphragm. Excuse me, you said something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Dad constantly talking to the press will carry ceramic pants nailed it you nailed it dude I forgot that Megan Markle's dad comes in is just like hey, what's up everyone? She was a tough little girl. I'm willing to sell the book rats for 300k

The worst dude is this him wait her mom's black dad's white. Yeah, okay fucking pop a markle dude got game That guy's swinging it dude got game. Oh. Yeah, he went in there and he went He goes well fuck the black lady made an actress. So you're welcome. Oh, dude He's got union face for sure. Yeah, really what's her mom look like? I feel like we're talking about the pipe fitter. I feel like this is about something to do with workers in Pittsburgh Oh, dude Tommy Markle. Yo, Tommy Markle dating a black chick. You believe it? Oh my god. Well, I'm not fucking racist like you is. Yeah, so I don't mind. Dora Raglan. So yeah, so she looks her mom made her hot

and her dad made her half white. That's all. Oh, yeah, dude. She reads very white. And she keeps talking about being a woman. If you told me her name was like, you know, like Chrissy Delamarca, I'd be like, oh yeah, all right. I guess we're going to have to have chicken fried steak taught off. Lovely. Look, he brought him his new girlfriend. Well, I guess there'll be a lot of more bass in the music now. What's the name? Rashida, weird hair products? Yeah.

Honestly, let's play our dad, though. Thomas Markle speaks out. What is he speaking out against? Well, I'm very disappointed about it. I don't think he's drunk. He's drunk. Maybe he's drunk. He's doing one doing one eye is doing one eye drunk. Hey, I guess I said always this bright Yeah, do why he have like a cop's got a flashlight on oh my god

How fast was that going officer do all these have to be on yeah? Oh more like a King shit of the situation I you know I had sex with the first black woman who walked in the pizza tavern more like a king shit of a situation. I, you know, I had sex with the first black woman who walked in the pizza tavern. Do you mind if I have a cigarette? Do you mind if I smoke?

I can't really tap. You know, he goes anyways, so pizza tavern is a real rank place. So fucking Meg Zom walks in and he's like, he's intimidating, right? Cause you know, a lot of black chicks don't walk in his bar. place. So fucking Meg's warm walks in and Simulating right because you know a lot of black chicks don't walk in his bar. So he does the breath where he goes Thanks Ace You want me to tell you what really went down? Well, I'm about two boiler makers

And what I can tell you is a thick old stack of honey comes in alone. I just got done working on a job site. So I was flush with cash. A thick old piece of woman walks in. And I can't turn it down. I can't call it. I can't do to put, uh, play it. This guy's awesome. Fuck the rest of the interview.

I like her dad. I mean, I, uh about this thing, what happened. At least a hundred times or so. Bottom line is I've never heard back from Megan or Harry in any way shaped. When they say that I'm marrying and taking a picture. Because I have called them, I've texted them, I've shown up and I've put a speaker above my head like I'm Q-SAC. He is whacked.

Yeah, did he look hammered? And, um, what were we talking about? Because, anyways, man, her mom was a piece ass. You know, their pubes are different to theirs. I had to be comfortable with that. And that was different for me. You know, I was worried about my beard hairs. You know, they'll grow it into it.

This looks like he's testifying about a murder. The test doesn't look. Look, I didn't do anything. I didn't say none, the no buy. Yeah, all right. Let's finish the, this is him speaking out on them, not talking to him, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Working the, all right. Basically what I do, because I haven't heard from them, is I'll do a story for the press. If I don't hear from them in 30 days, then I'll do another story for the press if I don't hear from them in 30 days then I'll do another story for the press. What an absolute piece of shit. Got to understand I used your college money on the ponies because it was a sure thing.

I wouldn't bet if it wasn't a sure thing. Oh man, are we picking bad subjects? We only have three reads total today, Dan. Dude, all right. Hey, what if I told you that I heard Nikki Glazer's podcast has 12. Oh my god, Jacob is that true? Are you running that? Three reads all that would happen. They're already over. Honeymoon's over. Wow. One week. One week. The honeymoon's over. We let serious come on our tummies and now look at us. Fairly any reads. We're being world-class funny. I thought that was going to drive a lot of advertising our way. Hey, don't worry. We got to make a markle's dad still. That's fine. I

guess no one's going to hear it. Go ahead, Christine. Play our stupid shit. That nobody wants to this. He looks like a bad super villain. Can you can you rewind it? Cause it looks like you a bad super villain. The way he says it every 30 days after that. I'll tell a baby story about Megan. Yeah. Tommy John, you tell me a better, a better joke you're going to hear about hooker bedtime stories. Think use your head guys. Buy more ads. Hey, you've already perfected the underwear. Yeah. Sorry. Buy. Hey, you got, you got the underwear to not be able to go out my ass. Now,

why don't you try pulling your head out of your ass and buy six reads a day. And Malar, I'm looking at you just because we don't fucking dress like Colin Jose doesn't mean that we can't appreciate your products yeah and hey B.A.M. to the B.E.E. give us some money we'll put a fucking shitty product asshole whoa that is not true at all all of these are fight are quite fine products, but I'm just saying I guess you don't want us to talk about you that much because we're making fun of fucking Megan Markle's dad I didn't know you guys were fucking royal horse cool. Didn't know you guys jocked the queen like that We're just trying to make fun of this fucking Gary. Sorry. I don't realize you guys believe in the monarchy Anyways, I would

Fucking have palace once but I Anyways, I would fucking have palace once, but I was Fast forward fast forward. I open the wrong door. I see the queen taking a piss and I say wow You got a stream on you lady and she says yes, I do. It's quite a stream She didn't even freak out didn't even blink and I be honest if I was a younger man I think I could have done it also it's all out dogs If I was a younger man, I think I could have done it. Also, it's got a lot of dogs. It's just dog hair everywhere in that fucking palace. You know what I'm knowing?

Sometimes you just want a pad of butter. It doesn't want to be shaped like a rose on my bread and I got the sandwiches there. I'm trying to get ice. I think my daughter had an easier time getting in the royal family. He said, I did it. I have an high ball filled with good cues. Where do you keep your wild turkey?

Your Highness. I got to drink gin in this God for sake of swallp Island. Hey, how much for one of you, queers and run across the moat and grab him some Some's chim being yes, hey jack of hearts Yeah, god damn cocktail or not you did I'm gonna ask you one more time beef eater You got a fucking megalop Hey, get Morgan. This guy's sky rules. Well, basically what I do because I haven't heard from that. She must forget the time I took her jacket off layaway. What about the time I pulled her out of the bath, but she was pissing. So I didn't realize it. And then it got all over my new slash. She doesn't talk about who got her Nintendo that summer.

What a battle man did. How I made sure she wasn't vaccinated. So she didn't end up autistic. Yeah, I better out of jail. So Ramama wouldn't get mad at her. Yeah, I, one time through a birthday party in a room that I knew had lit in the paint, but I wanted her to have a good birthday

so she might be quasi-violent. I love her. I love her. I miss you baby. Come back to your day. He's gonna go to the press for the new story. Go keep keep playing it. He's gonna go to the press every 30 days. Until. I'll do the story for the press if I don't hear from them in 30 days then I'll do another story for the press. This feels like something with my dad would have done how do you state a lot? I hate that I got to do it like this. Press, you got to tell me. I'm going to every 90 calendar days, I'm going to do another chapter in my erotic tales

of Trish and Gary. You got wherever you're at, Dan. It's gonna be five o'clock there at some point. You know your daddy loves a run breakfast. And I got some stories about you being scared of the dark. I will call the press every half hour. Every day. Until you come out here to Lakeville.

You gotta come out to Lakeville. You go fish with me, you son of a bitch. By me nine or season tickets, or we're having some real problems every 30 days. I want to see Buffett in the key. Yeah. I want to be in a club box. With little hot dog winters.

I want to meet Roger Craig. And Harris Barton. All right, let's watch that to this. And they would say Thomas, why do you keep talking to the press? What's your response to that? Money. Because they're not talking to me. You want an idiot? What a stone cold idiot. Hey, idiot.

Yeah. Yeah, sucks. Dude, your dad sucks, but that also really he also rules. Like, it's just watching the interview. It's so like I can't all these things just like such boohoo. It's like, you know, it feels when like you and like your sister and while don't get along. Or they say weird thing, but again, it's like they're not going to be, by the way, I think her they they told them the kids not going to be a prince, right? It sounds like that's where he's coming from that he's disappointed, but this guy

like I'm pretty sure he wasn't around when she was growing up and ever since she's been in the new system. No, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the the Meghan Markle and the guy's complaints and Harry's complaints are that like the kid wasn't going to be a prince. Is that what it was? Oh, yeah, that was part of it. It was it was more than the title, it was the security. So they were going to not give them a title, not give them security, not give Megan security, and then also take away, I think Harry security. But I'm not sure if that was before after they decided they were leaving the power. I don't know why they could leave the palace and keep security. That to me is a little

night. I'm like, all right, you fucking, it's not how the world works, you rich guys. Yeah, but that dude has a legitimate threat of being kidnapped. Like, if you want to leave the family pay for your own security then. Yeah, but that's like, that's the best. Damn, Christine wants in the royals, dude.

Yeah, dude, you're really buttering them up. You are not, you are not, I hope, taking that in a task for anything. You are like, look, you don't want the perks. You don't want to have, you don't want to have, you don't want to have high T with the Duchess then you fucking shut your mouth and live in the castle. Maybe you want to go back to being a peasant.

Yeah, go be some stupid pig philanthropist and Utah, that's what you want. Dude, Thomas Wharple. Like the whole basis of Aladdin as Princessasmine wants to like go live on the street oh yeah she sluts it up some street or two or a look what happens she gets involved with a god damn genie black magic yeah for their flying on carpets such as drugs yeah she was that was an analogy for heroin christine no fucking jasmine got genius talking birds and shit a whole new world a whole new world doesn't mean heroin

Kristen you did DMT is now what you said you saw if you were a thing with a hot Indian and a monkey way more pointless than that With new Fantas and then just under a bridge for now one can He texted me and oh Macpians. This is a different video sir from now on, Gandalf has to wear it ago. He texted me and, oh, McPants said that. This is a different video, sir. Nice, dude. I'll watch Thomas Markle videos all day long. And by the way, we also have, if you remember.

Oh, the trophy wife past her. Yeah, I don't worry. We got two hours in this. We didn't even get to the interview yet. I want to hear what they were upset about. She was going to kill herself because they weren't very nice to her. But play her dad. But also she was like, I need some like mental health help. It was what seems weird, and the world's are like, no. I believe the centuries old saying applies to this, which is I believe the century old saying applies to this, which is tough it out.

Yeah, or do it. I dare you, that you can't jump. Anyways. You're gonna play this, because this is a great contradiction. Coco Puffs rule, Coco Krispie's are average. Yeah.

Because the puff is all chocolate, the other ones dusted on the outer layer. That's why. My next on my cereal mount rush more Smacks highly underrated. I think I got to get my C4 and C5 fused He's talking about local drama Carl said that rural did move his truck. I mean did I'm in Mexico because they don't care how young your girlfriend is Because they understand that love is ageless love knows no age

And besides that call me mother fuckers. Yeah Actually, we didn't speak we actually texted each other. I was laying in a hospital bed after having already attacked. Harry had sent to me at that point. If you had listened to me, this wouldn't happen to you. And me laying in a hospital bed after I had a procedure and getting a stint put here and a stint put here thought that that was kind of snotty so I hung up on him. I thought you were texting. Man, man, man, man, man. That's it. Yeah.

He said he was texting me, hung up. Dude, this guy's ahead of us. This guy's living in the world. I don't know, and that is fucking bullshit thing. Where are we? He goes that through. He goes that through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's through the phone against the wall and he'll to change the channel and hit that little thing for more morphing. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, That was fantastic. I, uh, did she's gorgeous? Yes. She's super gorgeous. But like, I don't know. There's something about it is no argument there. That shady nasty. It would be called rewind nailed it. And Megan, Megan, Megan, mother and shady nasties. Um, it is really, uh, but, uh, she says in that real family, it was a very big thing. And it's just like, you know, what color, what color skin is the baby going to be? They won't make it being a woman of color. It's used very like, I don't feel she's spent a lifetime of having to defend her race or whatever.

Well, that is the white as a black mother. Right. And also the whitest you know, what does that mean? She means she got time out from moving that. She got time out and time out from moving that. She got double doubt. She had to take the ass off and then time to time out. Oh, it's so funny. She got time out. Time out.

What about that ass? Well, that's the whiteest family in the world is the fucking English royal family. You can't get whiter than that. No, I know. So it was the first time she couldn't believe she was finally faced with racism anywhere. She wasn't me.

I ran the whiteest. I ran this up the pole and turns out they do not like my skin tone in there But there's is like the only like that weird pink that you get from centuries of inbreeding. What's this Friday movie you keep watching in the wreck room? I don't care about Harlem nights. I didn't want to watch it. I didn't care who's in it? I don't who's this media man you speak of? That's not a regular superhero. They are. This was one of the big things that was part of the documentary is that actually 70 female

British politicians signed something saying that the British press was using colonial undertones when discussing Megan. No, I was just saying there was like an over there was just like a the press like, you know, Christine, Christine, Christine, just so you don't know. And we'll move on. I asked you a specific question. What are colonial undertones? Are you gonna take a guess right now?

Are you gonna take a shot in the dark right now? Just so you don't know. Outdated. I don't know? Outdated. I don't know. I would think it's true. I would think it's just a fancy way of saying racist. Yeah, you think I'm attacking you. Dan doesn't know for sure.

I doubt. I certainly don't know. I thought you were saying you knew. I think I do. Teach me, Christine. What's your guess? You're saying that I feel like outdated. Okay, go ahead. Look, it doesn't not make sense. Look it up. Look it up. Let's look up with Colonial. You may have nailed it.

She always sings them against her. You, you, you, your town. With your Colonial undertone. I asked it like I think I was hearing me. I said through I was like, what are Colonial undertones? Stop yellingtones? Stop yelling Megan because I'm not yelling. Yes, you are you yelling at me. You're yelling at me like a Halt the Queen hall. Oh Dude you're more like a canal rat Is that racist is that just me? Yeah, you're alley waste. I would say you're a pudding camel I would say you're a pudding cabal. You know, it's funny as it seems like it's straight up, just means like racial abuse.

Right. So it's a little harsher than I thought. Oh, so like black, there's there making black jokes, basically like subtly. It'll be like calling black people Canadians. Like, oh, those Canadians sure are a lot of them that barbershop. Right? Those things.

They'd be like, her, you know, dancers like her, but they mean like half black people or something. So they were just doing that like slightly slightly camouflage race. That's funky. But it's also tabloid garbage. Do you know what I mean? Like everything I was showing of that, where she was like, they were so mean to me in the press. Like, that's not the problem. It wasn't the tabloids. It wasn't the tabloids. It was that his family did not stand up and speak out against the tabloids and members of parliament did when his own family did not.

And he's having a baby with this woman. This is their family now. That's a, I mean, but it's tabloid. I mean, it's utter, it's not about the tabloids about the family. No, I got you. You're saying they're not respecting her the tabloids about the family. No, I got you saying they're not respecting her the same way they respect the queen. Listen, I get

it fast and the furious in the royal family, you know, it's got to be about family. It's got it's always going to be about family. Drink a Corona. Maybe a vein of a Veney to guy like arm shakes, maybe going zero to 60 and 3.6. Never know. You'll

never goddamn know. I don't know if that's fast. I don't know if that's fast night. I don't know cars me either Point is this royal family was just let her get treated like shit. They just being like oh I didn't read that is that what they wrote that's pretty me anyway I go all this said a lot of them being internally racist to Harry a lot of the shit a lot of the shit though is I bet her mom goes racist to Harry a lot of the shit a lot of the shit though is I bet her mom goes racist and Harry She goes this ginger boy coming over again to freckle up my kitchen Why the hell you go to England get a goddamn leprechaun?

Can't you be right look on prince? Hey leprechaun prince boy skin so white as teeth look orange Apologies, Johannes I put a little seasoning in dinner tonight He's like, oh my gosh, my throat is a flame. Oh, my mouth is dancing a furious nightmare. You put that forskim back in my bathroom, boy. Don't be spraying that piss piss all over my, oh, I'm a toilet. I don't need a hose with a, with a thumb over it. Switch on my side. But do we have any of the actual interview? Yeah. I did. He also, I'm telling you, he sounds like a dollar. He was like a, she's like the also I'm telling you, he sounds like a dullard. He was added like a she's like the I'm telling you before you play. I'm talking about a

sheltered man. But before you play the thing. What's interesting, what I thought was interesting about this was like when you watch it like a lot of the complaints are like she poisoned his mind to leave the thing and and by that that what I will say is she poisoned his mind to it but for sure this chick runs the show. Like she got this guy to essentially denounce Princehood. It just goes, and she, look, the whole, the interview is just her, and then her and him.

It's called the Royal Interview. It's just her for most of it, and then he comes in for the last like, 30 minutes. Honey, come here, sit down. And he's like, his answers are like, what, what, what is she say? What did she say?

Yeah, he was, yes, it was like, I, she said, who's my favorite spy school? I would probably say sporty spies, because I don't want Megan to feel threatened if I say posh. She's like, Megan was telling me that she thinks

you're mom, the queen ain't shit. He's like, yeah, yeah, she's, yeah, she's not, I guess, because Megan's, yeah, also she's just like the coolest and you know, she doesn't be play with her boobies. Sometimes she doesn't be play with him. She does. She does. She did. She American dances with her butt and it makes me all randy. I start asking a question about her black family and then she does this little move with the bomb and it makes me get all we're blue gibberish and I'll take a run

it. I go on this hot as a confused motion. I want to put my scanly ding-doo in a scanly flippity. Yeah dude if you run the show if you come in a muscle out of prints You know she pulled them out of print now. He's just some dude fucking feeding chickens on a place in California I swear to you. I'm not joking and like dude this chick runs the show whatever good for me He's probably better like that bitch. So he's gonna he's rich no matter what so like is he? Yeah, I'll ever fucking one friend Well, he's mother left of money and he said that he was completely cut off from the family But he has money that Diana left him and they live in Santa Barbara and when the rich is like we're barbers straight sand and like every you know Oprah lives, dude. Don't get millions of vote. Don't get millions off of a book. They're there. They're never have to worry about money

But here I have a full interview why you weren't a suit? You ain't gonna fucking job Yeah, dude? It's got to be in sweat. Oh my god. That guy should pick a fucking athletic team and go heart and the pain Yeah, you guys you prince average were strictly hornets Did he's got this old grandma modules? You put the gold tooth when he goes out and hoops in his backyard I love it. Prince Harry is living his best life He's like, oh, yeah, let me ask they all bowling chain, but I love to go see a three on three He was you know Sean Kim psonics, Josie you can't get these lot anymore with the short shorts. It's pretty crazy

That I found a bloody devock Pre-lakers, you know when he got traded for Kobe free like is you know when he got traded for Kobe. Fuck, I'm sure early warrants. It's a morning, Josie. I got to start a joke at the everyone head. To me, that's the sad irony of the last four years is I've advocated for so long for women to use their voice. You were a fucking deal or no deal.

Fucking briefcase holder. Yeah. What were you advocating? Yeah, I have read this this crazy ladies Become more than just a prop an object. She's an object holding another object. Don't far more value Suitcases are what men hold ladies hold the future. You got a fat a slob if you're fucking, you know, you're like a $10 fucking So suitcase You know, you're like a ten dollar fucking Such suitcase Case number 24. Hey, you nailed it. I was right. You knew her car number. Yeah, you know who you come to look at it

five bucks. She was worth oh My god. Hey, thank God it wasn't me right the Queen is like I've had people killed for simply living in the wrong part of the world This is what you provide to me, Prince. I have taken out every sub-Saharan country for the last if you bring this mortal to me. He's like, mom, you have to understand. I know you're fit. I'm shot at! You didn't just fuck.

This is the first time there's ever been a big ass in a good way in this castle. Your mother gave me grief as well. This is the first time there's ever been a big ass in a good way in this castle. Hey, your mother gave me grief is when? She was just lovely. Oh! I didn't like it! And I didn't like your Charlotte Hornets! One of the Hornets!

Mom, I'm just expressing myself, I- I didn't like your sound cloud account! Haha. MCH. I'm- Oh wait, also we were asking me to be in both of us. I did not know you sound cloud account MCA Also we were asking me to be both us. We don't know the answer either What's the what's their fucking last name? I think it's Windsor I found out Is that right is there last name? That's so funny when you get a seamless order and you work at footruckers guys

We gotta get these three burgers out to the Windsor Okay, all right that feels a little weird you go hey winzer any relation ever been to a bucket of it yeah I've went past a few times because you're uh 77 1776 besides you were you on where you at you know that's also them Windsor okay that makes sense you're silent or you silence

the latter the two hour i also have that's right that was a fucking that's a glass against the wall and some fucking drafty room in a fucking palace for sure through a bugger glass i just don't know and some fucking drafty room in a fucking palace. Oh for sure. She just threw a fucking glass out of the stone room.

Oh, I'm telling you, my medicine, bring me a corgi so I can pay for it. Yeah, she goes and says she goes to an orgy room and starts just randomly stabbing people with a sword. Give me this, is my father's sword? Yes. Fuck. Hey, orgy and fat people. Man, man, man, man. Oh, she made me angry. This is the only thing that

what's my reason. She says she was silenced. And by the way, I also had to go through that with Christine because it's another one I'm... pair I did not know the latter. I'm gonna told you that yesterday maybe. You learned it yesterday and right in time. No, no. I heard that didn't know that clip, particularly. I didn't know which one she met, which was silence or silent. Silence, the latter. I don't know.

Which one is, so she was silent? Silence. Silence. Which happens a lot to our staff and the Oprah interview with them. The blackest thing that Oprah's ever said, side lanced. She goes, how many months did they, side lanced to you?

To it. If you guys don't laugh, it's just a toast. Thank you. Okay. Well, I'm not you, evil Jacob. Not you, evil Jacob. Let's come off right. Side lanced.

Go back to the clip, Christine. Christine, technically, trying to load. I was trying to load the actual interview again because the clip is also like, we're gonna throw out a clip room. Christine, you have an exclusive clip from the interview. Christine, I believe you clip from this, right? Exclusive.

There it is. It's not going to be given a title and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he's born. You you have to be a different kind of ugly family to have the ginger be like the rock star good looker of the entire block. Yeah. You got you got zero talent on that. I mean, mother fuck. If I mean for a balding at 20 ginger is the fucking stud muffin, poor Hollywood fucking deal or no deal. Yes.

You come from ugly stock man. They are off. Show you. Show you the power of power. No, Fug. Show you the power of power. No, no. Shit. We got a lot of sway. You can have a fucking Odoil rules banging on.

Oh my god, those fucking light bulb beaten teeth they all have. What the fuck are they, they're a mess. Yeah, they look like people under the stairs. And they're just fucking, they run the world and they have fucking, they have thin chicken stock blood. They run nothing. Oh God. Honestly, it looks like you could fucking like Bleed them out with a with a thumbtack. Yeah, they say I'm a meba skin. He looks like a low-level golfer Like on the PGA. Well this guy has been playing for 60 years. Never won a major What did she say? Did she say that? Migrama was a twat?

Because if she says, I guess it's okay. We talked about it in the car and she was completely silenced by Mimi Ma who that's what I call her now, or her TT. And that's why she's using all black terms. Christine is Prince Harry good looking? Yeah. I don't know if it's because he's a prince or just good looking, but he is.

What? You don't know because he's a prince? Well, I mean, he doesn't have a bad ability. He's not like an ugly guy by any means. He's just ginger, which is not really my- Christine really does have royal fever. Oh, Christine's got royal fever. She's got royal fever. She's got royal fever.

Christine got royal fever. Oh, I just want to take into the ghost. Christine, don't move. I'm about to enter my scepter into your colonial vagina. I can have a lot of child. You tell me to go and I'll tell you what, not in the Buckingham Palace. I mean, fire your ass right to Santa Barbara. Yeah, do the catapulture ask the California?

By way of Barbara. Yeah, do you think? The catapulture asked the California. By way of Canada. Yeah. Go to Toronto and cool off. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on SiriusXM.