The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - A Weekend with The Parents

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Dan's mom stays with him over the weekend and ends up clogging the toilet. Jay's dad let's him down yet again. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. It's the Bonfire on Faction Talk 103, SiriusXM. I know it's the high C. SiriusXM 103 but you're so excited you got faction talk that you Started I almost went to the old place course. I have celebrate into early. I I fuck so I run him before you caught the ball

Yes, it's exactly it. I looked at all that open yardage This is gonna be so much. Yeah There's so much yeah, you guys silly. I'm still gonna send it send it Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck them I don't know I don't know how this stuff works I was gonna open up with some Rando Andy just off off the dome even though we're in studio oh off the dome I didn't even see that coming like Vince from the gym really blew my o-ring open starting look like a bloom tulip anyway walking weird anyway doctor says coconut go what's that shit? New Chanel movies coming out. Coconut oil. Gaga looks great in it.

I still wall up like an old sheriff. The doc says I'll be walking soon enough. Doctor says it's almost time to switch to full top. That's right everybody. My bung and days are over. I'm trying to shit normal when I'm 60. Yeah. Anywho, share stopped by. Do you speak in a share in shit normal? I'm 60. Yeah, any who share stopped by

You speaking to share and shit normal first off. This is the modifier. I'm Dan Soda That's big Joe Crescent in studio. We have Christine DJ Lou and our black King the black tiger Lewis So Okay, what? I actually just wanted to observe that and it fucking worked. I think we fucking brought that together. There it is. Jacob Atat at his Florida compound.

His leading. His little fucking swamp check. I'd love the fun at the Jacob. It's just been like dextering his whole time down there. Killing serial killers. His knife making shit. I think it'd be even funnier if he was just on the upper east side in a very nice apartment playing us the whole time.

He just doesn't like us. Meevil genius. Yeah. You fucking idiots think I'm gonna come into studio. Yeah. And then the roomies in escapes like a pod. Oh shoot off the side of the house. Yeah.

Jacob, oh man, he's so great if you were dextering the whole time. I was told today as a, and this might be a little creepy. Some of you, maybe think twice about possibly whacking it in the bathroom earlier, was Carla informed me today as the day of the dead. She was like, I meant to give you flowers For the day the dead remembrance of your grandmother because this is the day you remember them And you know that she's looking over you the whole time oh and so this might be a day where my grandmother Spirit is looking over me the entire time. So you didn't okay. No, Trish that's mama Trish that's mama Wow, I mean wow I mean wow come on Josh

He bailed on it early which means you may have looked at the car. Oh shit. Oh snap never mind bonfire never mind Speaking of Trish she's came into the city got to see her for like two days and I slept on a couch in my place on she stayed in my place and I slept on my couch there Friday night in this Saturday morning and she like you know she's a mom so she gets up at like 6 a.m. damn she just gets up and rattles stuff in the kitchen to make noise she's Louise it's more all moms do that was probably awful. It was pretty awful. Yeah, yeah.

But I moved to my bed. She made my bed and then I just crashed out on top of it. And I fell asleep for about three hours and I wake up in a here, a man's voice. Okay. All right. I wake up and I'm like, yeah, well, this takes me back. I can't.

I was like, it's Joe. I'm sorry. It's Joe. It's over. Yeah, we talked about it. Me and Joe have been talking. We talked about him at dinner. She wanted to be friends. Yeah. Should I be friends with again?

No, no, no, no. She must be friends with, she wouldn't mind being friends with the woman he married, which is her former best friend. She's like, I be friends with Linda. I got on Facebook. Just fuck Joe. And that's like, they're not together anymore either. No, they're married. Still together. No, they're married still together. Yeah, oh weird

Linda's not gonna talk to her. Yeah, Linda is out. Yeah, but that was Linda was my mom stocked into her alone Sure, they were fucking listen eventually though. Malone had to go over to the Lakers. Yeah, I know Gary Peyton, but so I hit this guy's voice And I'm like what the fuck it's 9 a.m Would you go pick up dick at the farmers market? Well, he's gonna go to the farmers way. Don't want me saying it's like yeah Are you sure he won't hear us?

My gosh Do you even have a gag reflex? Oh my god. It's amazing. You can get so wet after a hysterectomy. Oh my god Nothing in there. What is it? What do you stuff a water balloon up there? How do you get so wet after a hysterectomy. Oh my god, nothing in there. What is it? What do you stuff a water balloon up there? How do you get so wet? Slick and baron. The way I like something. Oh my god, this is bowling with bumpers.

It's all strong. Everything's just strong. Just get it down the lane and it's just trying. Just release, let it go where it's gonna go. Dude, and then I hear, oh, yeah, don't put this on Instagram because this is how she listens to the show and she'll get mad, I'm telling you. I have some clips.

Yeah, it's the way I get vetted out by her. She doesn't care, she's like, I get enough of it on the Instagram clips. I'm like, that's how I got in trouble for that. Fucking Denver Nuggets poster, she sent me, remember? Oh yeah, I do, I do. We did it on the show and then I had to call you. But we're on Instagram. Yeah, we put it on Instagram and I got

busted. Louis keeps on Instagram. This is just going out to everyone else across the country listening and the continental United States. But people get it. If you know your mom's not listening, you can tell the honest story. Yeah, guys, do me a favor. Don't tell Dan's mom. Guys, be cool. Luckily she's on the hunt today. It's the day of the day. Isn't that right, mom? Oh, be cool. Luckily she's on the hunt today, it's the day of the day. Isn't that right, mom, mom? Uh-oh.

You better hope Trish doesn't, I thought we were gonna light up. So we're gonna light up again. It's okay, it's fine, Lou. It's Monday. Don't light up. You hate Mondays. You are, you're at Garfield, but a human.

It's someone, please, immediately, make a eye hate Mondays with Lou's face hanging off the tree. Instead of lasagna, it's Pearl Jam. Loo by Jim Davis. I hate my name. Yo, a DJ Lou one cell cartoon would be pretty funny. If I could draw better, I at the time, I would make a one cell a week. The life of Lou. DJ Lou Luke do a life of one picture

Far side style far side so it's it all in one picture the joke Come but which is so hard to do when you think about it now that would DJ Lou it wouldn't oh dude Well, we got to get we're on it Christina and I are fucking we're bird dog in these people from merch So we can get these loose shirts because I want one it's taking a while, huh? Yeah, I mean, it's just, yeah, I don't know. I love them over there. I know, I was face to face with them in San Diego. I've got a really gotten their grill.

I guess face. So, Trish has a strange man in my house. It's about 9 a.m. I'm woken up, I'm a little startled. I'm like, what the fuck? I open the door and they're in the bathroom and it's the maintenance guy. And I'm like, all right, then I'm gonna shoot with it,

you know, whatever happened happened. I go back to sleep for like a half hour four five minutes turns out old T-Rish clog the toilet really then I had to go downstairs oh really and then get the maintenance man to come snake it because I didn't have a plane oh my my God. Uh, no. So she's there watching guys looking at her fucking, at her coils. He's going to say, he laid some heavy cable this morning. Went to go talk to the maintenance dude.

Your mom had some breakfast that didn't do it. Right. Oh man. So she chunked it up. So then we're like walking out. It's probably a toilet paper. Probably too much toilet paper. We're just a wide asshole.

Your mom's fucking just lays bricks too. Old fucking led nickel-trish. And they were leaving the building and the guys there. And she's like, hi! And she's like, damn, that was the man that helped me. I'm like, all right, well let's not pay attention. Now don't track it back to me. So now every time I'm walking in the building,

this guy's like, that guy's mom poop's very big. She has big turds. And then, but I never seen anything like in her defense. I did clog the toilet later that day myself. Yeah, she laid the groundwork so. Exactly, that's what I said to Katie. I was like, she fucking put it on the hers, dude. Yeah, the mother's soda turds link up like sickle so on me

The cells It's gonna clog up anything Yeah, dude build you guys fucking you guys arcs hook each other. Yeah, we know our DNA is similar Yeah, your poops were cuddling in the pipes Then I got one of those fucking power plungers and suck that turret right there. Wait, where it looks like, where it looks like a prolapse. They ask, all right, it goes at the hole. Yeah, it takes the fight to him.

Yeah, I like that too. Yeah, it's pretty good. But what sucks about it is when you pull it out of the toilet, you realize that it's held on to another gallon of water that you are inevitably going to pour over your tiles. Oh, I freaked out because there was poop on it. Oh, get out of here. Oh, you got in because there was poop on it. I was like, oh, get out of here. Oh, you got in there with the poop. See, here's the thing.

I flushed pretty quickly after the turd, so my shits never clog a toilet. Toilet paper and wipes sometimes clog a toilet. I think in the Sodor family, we're all turd. We're clogged and with all turd, do you? Yeah. You can put it in there. I'd be happy for a...

Put enough mulch out there. Be happy for a clogger right now, dude. I don't know, because I've been a Drinking more alcohol, but I am loose poops out the wazoo. I bet you can relate there DJ Lulamai right when's the last time you felt a log come out dude honestly I think it I remember when I quit drinking how solid my shit's got that was one of the first things that I was like Oh, wow, yeah, I don't know My makes are all pretty loose That was one of the first things that I was like, oh wow. Yeah, I don't know.

My makes are all pretty loose. You're just basically, it's like a spit take, every shit's a spit take. Yeah, that's what I do. I watch, we're also hip-hop videos. And when I see the punch line, I would go, blah! And also the toilets in our apartment,

while I love everything about that, if I say one thing I don't like about the apartment at all, is the toilets hold shit, so much like there's always shit on the bowl. After every shit you have to clean the bowl, almost out of 10 of the time. Christine might argue that, but that's because she doesn't clean her shit off the bowl,

I probably do. Do you travel with a squatty potty? You can get that travel squatty potty, dude. Yeah. Really helps out the hotel, right? Now it folds. Oh, it tells our Mashiw. Oh, buddy, my hotel in Cleveland this weekend.

The one across the street from the club. Yeah, Mateo, called it the Titanic. He really does look like the Titanic right there. But in there, my first night, Jacob, you would love it. Right before I went to get, where I was getting ready, if I got out of the shower, I flushed the toilet. I think I peed and there was something,

I flushed the toilet and then I went, and then noticed when I walked back in there, the lights were off and my feet were wet. On the floor, I'm like, I must left the fucking thing open a bunch. You know what I mean? I must left the curtain open. Yeah. Or something or the door, I'm like, I I must fucked up and then I look where the water is at

I'm like it doesn't seem to get coming from the toilet I'm like where's it coming from and I flush the toilet again and the tank in the back which is hemorrhaging Gowon of water easy what and then I called them and they came up I was like I'm already unpacked and everything I really want to move rooms and I'm going to my first show here. I was like can they fix this? They got come fixed it is like you go kill it, but it was really like just seeing that rip where you go It also is so weird. I know your process is getting out of shower and you stepped in water. It means you got your socks wet I don't shower and socks. No, but you got when you got out. Oh, and I came back in. No, I'm still barefoot.

Okay. I was still barefoot. I went back in there to a... So you got out of the shower? I think through a floss in the toilet. Okay. It's wet socks always. No, I've had that happen before though.

I've gotten wet socks in the road and it's like, now you have to wear yesterday dirty socks before I wear wet socks in the road and it's like now you have to wear yesterday dirty socks before I wear wet socks. You gots to spray them down with a little charcoal spray. Which saved our ass on that fucking practical jokerscrews. Oh never say a bad word about charcoal spray. Oh no. That drug dog went right by your room. Otoreater's charcoal spray is huge. After I got in trouble. Yeah it's charcoal on that. So I don't know if breathing it it's good, but you fog at a room, you're not going to smell, you can smoke cigarettes. Listen, you'll have the lungs of a West Virginia coal miner.

But no drug gong will smell your fucking. This hotel also asked me if I wanted a housekeeper going out. I said, no. I figured out my method now of sliding in that bed. I don't need them. And sliding in that bed, just unscathed, unscathed. But the window was right by a roof. It was right on top of a roof other part of the building.

Yeah, I know it's talking about. And you could open the window all the way. So I'd sit out there. Oh, you crawled the window? Right. And then I'd smoke weed out there, but I kept my weed in the cup. Sure. And they just came in and did my room at one point. Like without me knowing that, I don't know. I didn't look at my bill to see if I even got the

thing, but I'm hoping they were like, well, this toilet did a hemorrhage so we'll give them also I Fubri's the shit out of everything in a room. Oh, I can fight if there's a CVS I buy a new for breeze and I empty that thing in that room. You'll just unload do you carry your for breeze with you when you go on the road? Dan, yes, I do a Full-size for breeze. So that's why you check your bag is for the for breeze. Oh, it's one of several reasons. My full size hair stuff, my gels, and all that. Damn, you have a lot of potions. Oh, we've talked a little bit. We've gone through my after shower sketch. What's the whole thing?

Yeah. Although I've taken T-Trio out between the toes out of it because that at one point, I just went allergic to T-Trio oil on the top of my feet. And it felt like fire on the top of my feet that I had to scratch. Oh my God, can you do a YouTube video of like all your steps?

We're like, no, I don't want to be ready to see me sitting putting on my socks first. Naked me putting on my socks. Can we hire an actor to play you in the thing so it's not you? And it's gonna be someone just yoked. Yeah, like Jack, like a hot dude with a big doll. Huge dick.

Not afraid to show it. You're casting? Yeah, you're right. I'll do that All right. I'll make a YouTube video with a big old fat. You have to host the video Oh, I've young Dylan from gas digital play me but then there's both Jewish But yeah, then we'll go through it and then we'll um you'll host Mm-hmm explaining what your routine is and then it'll cut to Dylan Big J playing by Dylan. You'll go through it. Oh, what's the fucking documentary I watched where you wanted to hate?

Was that Gabby Petito yesterday? Were the people were like doing makeup? Yes. No, it wasn't. It wasn't. That was something else we watched. We're the tricker. Right, where people, isn't it? Where people were doing makeup while they were talking about it?

Yeah, that wasn't Gabby. Was it just yesterday? I don't know. I was watching some documentary where everyone talking about it is also doing like, uh, like, like, makeup tutorials. Like, like, makeup tutorials? It's so fucking fun. Wait, they're doing their interviews while they're doing their own makeup.

It's not everybody's just people talking about the subject. Is it what the fuck else could it be? I'm trying to think. I think it is something different, right? I think so. I think it was a little further back. It was a documentary we watched before I left this weekend. It matters more to me that you want to fuck me than you want to watch TV with me.

Well, there you go. We didn't fuck, though. We watched TV. Okay. It was a documentary. Whatever it was, the people talking about it was like, people that want to like solve a thing. That's why it may have been Gabby Petito like the home sleuths. But they just fucking like like the crazy makeup things on. They're like first of all like she was not even in love with him

anymore. So that's such a fucking random place of the internet to end up. These people just doing their makeup talking about a dead girl. Yeah, mate, was it maybe, I know it was, it was Brittany, Brittany Spears. It was the new one on that flicks, about Brittany Spears and everyone talking about it. Wait, no, Brittany Murphy. Brick.

Fucking Murphy. Ah! Hi, fives! It was Brittany, motherfucker. We got there. Yeah, you got there. We got there. We figured it out. Brittany Motherfucking, we got there. Yeah, you got there. We got there. We figured it out.

Brittany Murphy, everyone's talking about the conspiracy and the problem. Also prove the point that there is not a lack of documentaries out there right now. Now, good, good based documentaries. They're not always that great. But this one, uh, yeah, the Brittany Murphy one. And everyone's talking about it.

They go, can you, I was just doing like crazy make-up things. Like, their faces look insane. And they're like, and you just wonder, like if he loved their so much, why was he then like sleeping next to the mom all the time? Yeah, dude. Yeah, they, um, with all the streaming services, they're just making everything.

They gotta crank out docs. They gotta crank out whatever the fuck that Martin Screly doc that I told you I watched, Farmer, bro. It felt like it was unfinished. You're like, so what was the point? The most sucks. Britney Murphy was, I like the documentary, entertainment value, but when it's over,

you're like, so, you know, you figured out. And it's been such a thing that people have done recently. I wanna say it started with the Sopranos finale, where they're kinda like, boom, I don't know, what do you think happened? I don't know, I spent eight years watching the show. Oh, yeah, this is what it is. It was just very awkward. It just didn't seem right. He didn't seem.

Who are you? Who is this person? I don't know, but this is our thing. She doesn't make a having a that conversation with you Yeah, dude, this is okay. Thanks lady. It's crazy She's done stuff putting on mega and she looks insane. Jesus dude Eight million dollar man. Is this the point? Do you just completely give up and then I start doing fucking YouTube videos where I'm like all right now? I'm gonna fix the pants on Kenny Omega on WWE.

I like to use a green base, probably use a... Green's like high energy, I think he's high energy. Also I switched his moveset to mostly high flyer stuff, Luchdora like. Dude, man, it's just the, who knew the apocalypse was gonna be all videos of you Just like if they ever found the YouTube videos like this is fucked up Talk about a dead girl doing your makeup She's in the room Murphy also mom didn't go home

She clogging up toilets here it's serious. Yeah, get ready dude. She's gonna put her own ghost and then meetloafs put her own ghost in the pipes. Oh, yeah. Can I say about that in my weekend? I did tell it on skanks, but I'd like your... No, no, it's cool being sloppy seconds. Well, it's because Louis, we never know when the tape is second episode. So it's always down to the wire and it happened to be right after this happened We got to go we got to go right now get your go back. I do a podcast. I do skanks after my Thursday show the fuck that Fuck that I would have been so mad Thursday nights the fun. Did you have to do press in the morning? No, I did that afternoon

We just got to sleep like a knockout. Yeah No, I don't get that afternoon We just got sleepin' I got a gallon cox Can't raid DeVito, Marys, Intour, one of the shows with me Jimmy Graham, good kid Love Jimmy, Jimmy hosted for me when I was out there James, fuck, come on, I'm gonna say a thing I'll get it for the next break

But he- Brutton, Thursday night with me Burton? Brutton? Yeah Black fella? Black fella? Glasses?

Yeah Bald? Yeah Very funny Very funny Broughten. Yeah Black got black fella glasses. Yeah bald. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Very fun. Very very funny. They feature for me. I worked with him and Jimmy last time I was there. Yeah. They both came out on Yeah, they were great. Yeah. Um, very cool guys. Great weekend. But when I flew out there started off very dicey. Um, but we uh, I saw a land. Oh my god on the plane. I saw that Mateo Lane was on the plane with me. Always fun. Always fun. You see. out, oh my god on the plane. I saw that Mateo Lane was on the plane with me. Always fun. Always fun.

You see always fun. See an economic on a plane. Cause it's I mean, it's fun when you see them aren't sitting anywhere near them. So you're not forced to engage the whole trip. But then you know, when you get off the plane, you got a body. Hey, you got something to walk to the terminal with. That was a, I, when I went down to Milwaukee to Milwaukee Taylor Tomlinson was on the flight Mm-hmm. I was just like oh, hey, and then you know after the flight like walk to the

Transportation I'm gonna ask her if she ever blew Steve Hofstetter Remember she became the face of that show laughs. Oh, dude. I don't know. I don't know that show laughs I just moved ripped off my friend Watch it so much because it was just like damn, everyone, they want this spot so bad on TV. Yeah, my buddy didn't get paid or some shit. Oh, I didn't pay. It was like America's funniest home videos, but comedy. It was like send your tapes or if go perform

at these places on these nights, and we'll be happy to give your jokes away for free. And sell advertising. And now some comics have patrons that are like drug dealers in Miami and the A.E.s. And they have the monthly earnings of Scarface. They really do. Tim Dillon's pulling in like a cartel leader, right?

Yeah, it's more but he probably hasn't yet no idea what to do with it. I love it. I love that he always wears the glasses now. He is. Tim Dillon's straight up a cartel leader. He was with yellow glasses. Now he does the podcast with the sunglasses on oh really in the hat Just spittin just sit there. Yeah, I fucking loved him so funny. Yeah, he plays in LA looks nice

Oh, I didn't yeah, he had a place in Austin a couple people stayed there. Yeah, did you guys go there? We went there Okay, a barbecue one day was great So you're you see Mateo Lane on the flight to Cleveland we land you land We get off the plane. We Mateo goes. Oh, you're staying at the Titanic Hotel I am he goes I'm staying there, too. You want to Share right there. I go. Yeah, in fact the club sending a car for me great Come on. Let's I come with me. Got you. Go outside. Guy text me and he goes, Hey man, I'm pulling around on a Chevy Suburban in a few minutes.

Great. Great. Um Chevy Suburban pulls up. Mateo goes to the back passenger seat. Door. Sure. I go to the trunk to put my bag and stuff in the trunk door was locked when Mateo pulled the door was locked Whatever he didn't open the trunk. So I go oh, maybe he's confused because there's two of us sure I go around The driver side of the door. Hello good sir. I was like retelling him stories But this but these are the reasons why I'm so man because it genuinely is it wasn't that I was like I'm so mad because it genuinely is it wasn't that I was like I'm so sorry. So I go He was like I go you hear for Jay and he goes now And I go you're not here for the Committee Club at all. He goes now. I go okay. I think it's same car

I'm sorry man and just start walking away Me and Mateo start walking away he gets out of the car The suburb on out of the car walking away, he gets out of the car, the suburb. Fall on out of the car. Yeah, I think it was ultimately to get whoever he's supposed to get. Got it, because he's like a limo. Sure.

Was he in a uniform? Yeah, he's an investist, comes in the play. Okay. He was an invest, you know, a button down shirt or whatever. So he gets, and somebody has to be described as size. I said, DJ Lou size. Okay. And he that DJ Lou size Okay And he's a guy so he could do some work sturdy sturdy gentlemen. Hey listen. You don't know what's under those shirts

so We start walking away and the guy gets out of the car and he goes He goes hey don't don't pull with the fucking handles so hard. Whoa Just like that chill bro, you know, excuse me. He's like don't pull the fucking handle so hard. Whoa. Just like that. Kill bro. You know what, excuse me? He was like, don't pull the fucking handle so hard. And then I started walking back towards him. What's the problem, dude?

What's the thing? We thought it was our car. He's like, well, I guess your car is late. Oh! Oh! You should have got right back in that airport and flown home He just packed your shit for you

I guess your car's late Fuck you Cleveling are you a firefighter because then he's got burned bro Back draft on now what a fucking asshole. Well, yeah, I will sorry your car is late and probably gay. You probably have a gay car So he goes your car is late. I go okay, and he goes I Go yeah, buddy. It's the same car. So I don't know what the problem is and he goes Well, you can check the app. I go it's not an app car Just fucking and he's like we're too close to each other You're too close to that and like so I push him hard

to get under You took his nut and like so I push him hard. Get under, you get under, you get under his chest and fucking explode up in chest. I'm just seeing if those coaches were right to approach you at high school because I think you have the natural ability of pass pro in there. Get up in there. There's some good pass pro dude.

Oh yeah, under those pass. Work on some footwork. You and Shane could have been a lethal left side guard tackled to end them totally. So, he goes, uh, so, uh, so you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I show them, yeah, show them. Does he go against the car? Where does he move?

It was like, it was like next to a suburban still. So I pushed him, but he just kept going in the direction that, uh, Oh, you pushed him in the act of like he was like, thanks for the jump start. Yes. I just kept going. I was actually, that's kind of a good move. If you push me, well, that's what I wanted to go. So fuck you.

There it is. There's a kick off the wall was open for. Don't know if you know about energy, but you just gave me yours. Pussy. Stay up till 12 tonight. Here's for pushing me forward, dude. I got to I got the wind in my back now. So was he talking shit as you pushed them? No, did he have maybe did he have dress shoes on?

I don't know I just want to know cuz dress shoes you can catch a flicking slide. Oh, yeah No, I guess probably not so we're grip his grounding was fine So good grip he had good grounding so he goes inside me and Mateo walk back over and just can't let the conversation. I'll say you guys. I'll say you're come here you. He's pulling in by the jeans. I was like, oh, I was like, yo, I'm like, what the fuck was that guys problem? What are and then, uh, and then the guy comes back out. We're just like me and Mateo. Just talking now. I guess I'm trying to figure out where the guy's at. Sure. I was like, oh, are you guys are down? I'm upstairs and I'm like yeah we'll

come upstairs it's fine like you know I'm just in the wrong level but big this guy comes back out and I'm just like looking at him and he opens his doors driver door and steps up on the ledge of it and then just saying something I don't even remember what he was barking again and I was like yeah and I dropped my bag and headphones and Matay was doing like the J just barking again and I was like yeah, and I dropped my bag and Headphones and Mateo's doing like the JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ like try to get in their car and shut the door. He didn't want to do it. At that point, he was realizing it was getting real or then he thought it was going to get. It's weird because they've already put hands on him. But I'm like, all right. I don't know why he's doing this.

I'm like, what is the problem we have? I don't know why we're even fighting. You're crazy. Yeah. And he starts doing that. So I start mucking his face and then I'm just going like, I'm having like the complete like, you fucking door. You fucking door handles you jerk off.

And then I just start cranking all the doors open that's like throwing the door up as much as possible and then I push him and then it's so fun like just as soon as it came out of my mouth I'm like oh man I know Mateo's in this world where he has to feel this in some way but I pushed the guy one more time in the back because now he turned his back I mean I was pushing way I go yeah fucking run off with your Faggoty as Vest and then I then pushing way I go. Yeah fucking run off with your Faggotie S vest and then in one breath I go with your Faggotie S vest. Sorry Mateo. I didn't mean it that way Just immediately like I'm sorry. I'm sorry man. I wasn't aimed at it's not

Yeah, I don't even know the cool way that you do it. Yeah, I'm the red the rad way you are where you guys are all jacked and having fun Sex talking about the dorky way this guy sucks yeah man that and so we go back but I was telling Mateo because Mateo made the joke later he's like thanks for protecting because technically the guy was talking to the door handle which is Mateo grabbed the door handle yeah but it was like you know it wasn't sticking from Mateo's sticking up for us so just like what's this guy's deal and but I told Mateo next time it's a comedy jam he should tell the story from his perspective. And then he should sing the, I will always love you bodyguards song. I should come pick them up again. Yeah, I see. Yeah, so funny. That is great. Mateo's also in such better shape than

he's jacked. He's just yoked. You were someone's story at the airport, which is great. Oh, without a doubt. We're like, yeah, I'm actually surprised, no cops. Like, I went to go pick up Deb, she flew in this morning, and I saw this motorcycle guy get into a fight with a driver. Yeah, it was insane. Probably. Because those stories are the best,

because you're like, I don't know the context. It's just a weird thing that happened. There's my lover. We were, yeah, dude, that's the man you saved. We were driving his body as long as point. I think I might have told the story when it happened, but back in July, we were driving up to Boston, we were going out to see my grandma,

we had to drive the dog up to Katie's parents. So we're driving up there and it's traffic on the West Side Highway, like, fucking traffic. And we're buying exit, right? And we see this guy in a fucking it's bumper to bumper so you got a red suburban go and he pulls down into the exit lane then gets out of his car and we're like kind of moving in the middle lane and then he goes three cars up and something in his hands fucking busts out the back windshield and I'm like oh fuck and then he runs back and gets

in his car and pulls away and I was like that oh, fuck! And then he runs back and gets in his car and pulls away and I was like, that guy's a fucking genius. That was a genius move. But I have no idea what the context of it was. But it was clearly they were probably like chipping at each other and then this guy was like, all right, I fucking got you.

I'm not sure why exactly reminds me of, but it's all about like feeling like the feeling of getting chumped out also. You know, my step pops, like, you know, always a weightlifter, a strong guy. Yeah. Could hold his own, my step pops, like, you know, always a weightlifter, strong guy. Yeah. You can hold his own, I'm sure, an average street fight. But, man, when we get stuck in traffic

during the Greek picnic in Fairmount Park and Pennsylvania Philadelphia, which was like, that's all the black fraternities. Okay. It's called the Greek picnic. And we were stuck in traffic, and I mean, these big black dudes just sitting on the hood of our car and leaning on our car while we're in traffic jam It's not we're just sitting there to whatever and my step-op just like having just like have a head shake

And it consists like dude. There's nothing. Yeah, you're just not gonna. There's no way I mean We're stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of the one road that goes through the park where the Greek picnic is happening. It's like the traffic jam is because of the Greek pic like because they're just walking through the road and some of it. They might be a freestyle battle happening just in the middle of the road of this road. Let's make it a suburban not be able to move. Absolutely.

And we're just sitting there. Some of them in my stepfather just having the eat, I know, what I'm asking you, because I eat it too. There's those are the things you eat, you're just exactly. It's the, what's the, is it 1-8-7 on undercover cop? Is that's on the original beginning of the guy walking and guy's starting, hey man, you and your bitch. Oh no, it's natural born killers.

Okay. I think the song that we open up about Skanks with basically is the beginning of Skid is that. It's like, oh man, man, why are you guys fucking with me, man? Yeah. It was fuck you, man, because I can. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, those things are so shitty situations. You gotta eat it in words.

Like, they're being like that. Like whoever's coming at you is being like that because you're outnumbered. Dude, I mean, so you have to just eat it or you're walking into an ass whooping. That's why every movie that has ass kickings, every man's fantasy is that you one man gang all the bad guys. Yeah. Like whoever's coming at you.

Yeah. And you just get to fucking Bruce Lee Roy stand in a circle, it goes, is it just you Bruce Lee Roy standing in a circle goes, is it just you, Rowan 88, let Tino Kings? Bring it. Yeah, bring it on, try ads. My Joe, one time the kids in my neighborhood, like teenagers were drunk and they were like jumping

and dunking, I had a basketball hoop. They were like, yeah. And then Joe was like, oh my god, my mom was like, Joe, don't fight anybody. And he just didn't do shit. He walked out there and I I was like I wanted him to get lit up so bad. Oh really? Oh my god I was really even that situation you don't feel like you like almost just Arbor like if I my stepmother got into a fight when I was young I'd be rooting for my stepmother still Maybe I feel different now maybe back then I might have know what? Joe was meaner to the youth and...

Yeah, Joe was mean to me. Yeah. Joe was like a... Diane was just like, I was just an annoying kid in her way. Yeah. Of enjoying time with her. It was a dick. Yeah, Joe was like nasty. So, yeah.

But I think there was... I remember feeling was like, hey, let him go outside. I didn't epiphany on stage at my stem other this weekend. When she was in the audience, it was really... It was the most fun she's ever had at my shows, for sure. Wait, really? Yeah, yeah, let him go outside. I didn't epiphany on stage at my stepmother this weekend. When she was in the audience, it was really, it was the most fun she's ever had at my shows, for sure. Wait, really? Yeah, yeah. Wait, tell the story because there's a Gary story

from this weekend. But she was at your show? Yeah, there's, I just remember this weekend. Yeah, she came the first night with my dad. He came both nights, my dad. Oh, okay. Where you came Friday and Saturday. Okay. Friday came with my stepmother, came both nights my dad. Oh, okay. Where you came Friday and Saturday. Okay.

Friday came with my stepmother, but when she was at the show, I was going back at fourth and one point. You know what's funny? I always tell the stories of my mean stepmom, Diane. I go, but sometimes some of them, when you know when you retell a story as an adult, like you haven't thought of it a long time, and then you're like, yeah, I sort of get it.

Now I go, when you retell it, you're like, she was so mean because of this. And you're like, oh, I guess it's an adult now. I see it was to me. One of the things that Diane was like, yeah, she would complain that I would like eat the snacks and all the stuff in the house. So she would like start hiding them. And I go, but I'll tell you what, in defense of Diane, I found them. I wanted them that bad.

And I ate as many of them as I could him. I wanted him that bad and I ate as many of them as I could. Eat, and I'll tell you what, she was trying to save me for myself and clearly I had a problem. I was like, so now I'm 43 years old and I don't have type two diabetes, shout out to I am. That's very good. I'm scared of the fucking love for it. She was just trying to save me for myself.

She saw the problem coming. That's so fucking funny. She's like, I'm telling you Gary, he'll just, he'll eat himself into sickness. Also finding out that like, she was pretty across the board. You know, I mean, like my brothers were both like, oh yeah, she locked the cabinet with snacks. I'm one of those big kids, you know.

Yeah. She locked the cabinet, but she put this so funny when they talk and tell stories and laugh at the story like they They sound exactly like my dad really they sound like the Maybe I do too, but like the way they laugh at the end of a story while telling the thing It just reminds me so much of him, but he was telling about They should let the screws on the outside though of the lock so they would just take the screws off and get the snacks anyway Damn, dude, and just and like she would get livid and blame my dad.

So if my everyone just throw my dad in the deposit. Gary just takes the fall for everybody. When he goes, they wanna go to a bar afterwards where everyone's like drinking and go and they were like, oh yeah he goes, remember dad tried to blame porn on us the one time, which I was like, I was gonna be a reporter to me and they were laughing. That is gotta be an awesome part of meeting your half brothers from your dad that you don't know.

We were like, oh shit. So he just sucked it all all the time. But so casually, like they go, something like the porn comes up and like Diane said something he goes, okay, he goes, okay, because the Asian stuff was the old man's though for sure. Because the Asian stuff was the old man's. And just like, just burying him.

He just sitting there, and that just like sort of like a's and just like just burying him. He's just sitting there my dad Just like sort of like a doofy like Guess that's me. I'm like, oh yeah, dude dad sold me at a bunch Yeah, I mean you have an infamous story of that fucking video tape Did you and when you told me that did they know that story? I've told my story before Okay, that's got to be funny when they hear that with her like oh dude. That was his prototype Yeah, dude. It's his prototype. Yeah, dude. It's so funny.

Yeah, it was funny here in those stories, but my dad, so he comes out on... Did your brothers come out this weekend too? Both nights, yeah. Or both of them came out the first night and then Adam, the one you know better came out to second round with dad. And they brought a bunch of people both nights to give like 20 people the first night and. Oh man, it's got to be insane.

Yeah, it's the second night was a special kid you leave. He turns out to be the draw. Christine knows this too and then my brothers have said this. Like their joke with them all the time is they call them like J's dad. They call them like my dad is the joke. They say because like he's always, it's always like he's going on and on to give us son the comedian and I go, it's so funny dude, it is, it's really fucking funny.

Yeah, cause that, she's the favorite. Oh my God, so funny. It's funny how life works. Well Josh, you should like, gosh trust me, I'm not the favorite. Guys, can I tell you I have a massive hole in my heart from where this man fucking left?

I don't know if my dad knows if I went to college or not. No. I'm pretty sure he thought your daughter's name was Elizabeth. It's Isabella. It's not like, you know, I'm still I'm sure I think you might still say Christina a lot. And maybe Isabelle once in a while. Yeah, dude. I don't know. He calls your stepmom Diana and you call her Diana. And I don't know which one it is. It's either. Either or. That's either or.

But man, that's so fun. Hell works for us. Yep. All he does is say how much he reminds us of him. And bim, bim, bim, he's the best. And you're like, where was this energy when I was nine and ten years old? Where was it? Where was it? Where was this, where was this grooming when I was nine and 10 years old? Where was it? Where was it?

Where was this, where was this grooming when I was 11 and 12? Show me how to hit a ball. Oh yeah, sucker. I mean, it, it, it does, it does, it sucks. There is a point if you've been shooting who, or if you have a deadbeat dad, there becomes a point where you're like, you understand kind of like what you do with Diane,

where you kind of understand it from an adult perspective. Sure. We're kind of like, I fuck, you know, sometimes it's hard to make a thing work and sometimes it's best not to. I get my dad's thing fully, but then there is the wrap around where you're like, oh, but also, he didn't try. So fuck off. Through the attest to that of mine, I completely get, because especially in the age before fucking email and look Internet when is a bell when is a bell even a few years ago when is a bell I was like still dependent for everything you know I mean yeah on

everything like when she was like oh she's gonna go to Columbia for a month like there's an element of that like yes like don't like worry about have to be a dad for a month yeah you know I'd be out to worry about like like figure out how I get to see her on the week you know I mean it's like I get the out of sight out of my and he just gets into a life the same way When I was doing CrossFit if I was like all right do have two hours right now before the show So even though I don't want to it's like it was the more the thing was like I got to get to like one of these classes Because I have to get my cross fit it, you know, I mean, but if you don't do it for three weeks

You're like why the fuck's like now? Do this my only time I get to play video games? Yeah. I understand. So I'm saying, I understand once he was gone and my mom was pushing him to grab me, it was just like, oh, she seems to be handling that. She gets kids, all right. Also taking a consideration, she's 23. You see, my dad has zero of those excuse me. He was ducking cord orders. I mean,

he was, but he should have tried harder, my dad also. Oh, yeah. Yours does. I'm saying, like, so it's not doesn't change that. But it's just funny that now that you've made something of yourself, right? Your brothers, who he was there for. And I've also made something of himself that do they are killing it Absolutely, but you more publicly make yourself. I'm like yes, you're a public because of his last name a lot of people a week Ask him if he's related to me and then if he's that Gary Man, that's so cool. Can I tell you that's so cool. That's a path. I'll never get but that's so fucking cool Yeah, and if anybody walks up to my uncle David don't say hi to him and do his little torp

Is about no one with the soda last name gets any shine except this kid because they're all fucking dead Isabella so funny. She said a guy that's like her roommates talking to Was over the house and saw Isabella's ID and was like wait your last name's Oakerson and he was like do you over the house and saw Zabel's ID. And I was like, well, your last name's Oakerson. And he was like, do you, do you know what it was a comic? And they'm like, big joke. So you related to him and she said, for the whole time he was there,

she just kept with like, I don't know, I didn't know that. And it's like, it's a comedian. You never, there's a comedian with your last name. And she's like, he said he was showing her clips of me and everything. And it's a little clip. And then she just, it's a bit about her.

She just completely, he's showing him a bit about like, I'm sure. That's just completely committed to it. My daughter had dirty underwear and she's like, yep, never heard this guy. She goes, I don't know. That's so funny.

Isabella committing is fucking really funny. It's great. So she, she was at Roland Lado, we can, that was scary, scary dad thing. Yeah, her going out to a music festival. Hip hop music festival. I mean, there was multiple big times Rico case arrest there like Fetty Wop and all the tray way people got arrested for conspiracy

to distribute fentanyl heroin and shit. Wait, those are the big busts now. It used to be the San Giovano festival and now it's rolling. That's rolling. There's a bunch of ginsos and loud and suits outside. That's what we hip hop. And now it's dudes and skinny jeans on Cesar. On that Cesar, but she went all three days and she lived. It was great. So, all night when she was done, like a good kid. Yeah, so Diane comes to the Friday show.

You have that epiphany with her. Yeah, we so it's fun. Do you go out drinking? You got to understand. I'm kind of like a... I don't have any more drinks, but with it. I'm trying to live vicariously through you because I think it would be fun if, you know,

your deadbeat dad shows up with his family that you like. Of course, you're gonna like them, because they're your family. But it just sounds like it'd be so much fun to be like, hey, we're gonna go out, if I can swap some stories and you know, catch up. That's great. They let me like finish saying hi to everybody

and then they went to this chocolate bar. It's called the bar. So it's right there. I know. I get the chocolate shakes to go up to my room. So I can have a sand one and watch something on my lap. Just stinky. Yeah.

So they were, they went there. Okay. We hung out there pretty much till it shut. And then, which was much longer, you know, I mean With an hour and a half or so so Gary shows up Friday, but then so then he shows up Friday Well, this is the funniest so he goes hey tomorrow now here's the thing I'm in the middle of trying I'm doing my best with writing this roast Yeah, in record time. Oh, well, you don't to, if you just let go of your ego,

it won't happen. It won't happen. Have someone help you? I got some funny ideas, it'll be fine. Yeah, you're great, but I'm saying don't stress yourself out. You're being a big shot. Yes, you are. This is where Lewis wins.

When it makes you stress out. Yeah, it is, but I think I'll be alright. You'll be great. It's gonna be very fun. Skankfast is gonna be so much goddamn fun. Yeah, no, it's definitely gonna be fun. So he goes, I'm coming, I wanna come early with your brothers and like, hang out with you

at the end of the day tomorrow and actually hang out. I'm like, yeah, totally. And my brothers even kept doing like, is that cool man? I don't wanna, if you have stuff to do, I get it and everything. I go, no, I said, I do actually have to write this roast, but I had already made plans what I was gonna do with,

because in the day before when I was writing it, like Josh called or something, Josh had a Myers-Claude at one point, and I bounced one or two off of him, and it just made him giggle. Yeah. You know what I mean? And even he would be like,

what he was good for doing was like, what about the fact that this person does this, and then I'd be say like the funny thing Sure and like to have someone to lob shit at you. It's just like Factoids, you know, I mean yeah, he always dresses like this. Yes, something about the way he dresses You know, I mean so it's like that shit. It was very helpful. So I was like dude We do this for my marf like an hour hour and a half like it. He was like yeah two thirty so I'm like, okay I need to like four so I I go give me don't,

Josh Adam Myers is writing for the rest of you. No, he is not. In fact, you know, I think that's what everyone's saying. I think everyone's saying that Josh Adam Myers wrote your own show. Do you know it's hilarious? He said a thing that made me laugh. A tag on something I said just like a little dash thing.

And in the notes, and I told him to, I go, I will say out loud where that comes. I go, Josh Adam Myers higher said that I have to John Lewis told me I was crazy for that guy he called me this weekend He's like dude we have people with a bunch of jokes like ready to go like that we paid to like right for this thing and I went I can't I was like I go I'll go it's everyone. I'll be like and that's why Lewis blah blah blah I think it's got chat if it gets a big laugh, I'm going to go,

here's the credit to the guy who wrote, I can't. I don't know why. I'll probably say it at the end of the, at the end of my set. Like that. I bibliography. Each individual Joe. Thank you, Mike. Thank you, Mike Lawrence.

You're a true one. You're a real one. No, listen, yeah, I'm wrong because of the idea of the show is to have the best show possible. It's supposed to be? Well, when I found out that Greg were all working together. I just remember finding out like Jesse Joyce, who's a buddy of ours. I remember when he was like, yeah, I write for Gerald over all the roasts.

I remember when I found that out. It was like when I found out stand up wasn't them just talking. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're like, what? And they're like, yeah, Jesse's like, yeah, right for with Gerald though. And I'm like, yeah, Jesse's like, yeah, right? For with your all though. And I'm like, but. And then I did one roast of Nate's where I wrote all my jokes. And then the next one, I was like, I don't want to do this. I just, yeah, I don't want to do it.

I don't enjoy roast. I have fun doing them when they're all done and everything's all said. It's good. The night of it will be a fucking. I'm just saying, I not the other people's jokes. I don't care about being me fun. None of that.

I don't give a shit about that. It's literally the thing that stops me from having an office job where I'm like, I don't want to do the work. Right. It's just the thing where they go. I mean, you've learned definitive work you have to do. Yeah. And what's to pay off for this work?

They go, just this one thing. I'm such a lazy. One night, you're like, I'm such a lazy asshole that I have to be tricked into working hard. Yeah, I really call the jobs that I had that I hated. You know that little tiny part of it you liked when you were bullshitting with your co-workers in the back? Well, you can kind of do that. I bet you'll do that.

I told myself I had a love school because I'm like, dude, the classes are just in between you talking to your boys who make your laugh. You guys just laugh all day long, it's like. I would absolutely describe this. Like to get through the work. This show, the entire soul of this show is just conversations that at any moment a manager should go, oh, just an soda.

And you're like, yeah, sorry. We got, you know what I mean? Johnson get back on the floor. Robinson says, hang on a little corner with the boys. Yeah, whiskey. We got you know, I mean Johnson get back on the floor I think things is hang on the corner with the boys. Yeah, which we got to get in the habit Ronda we just think you thank you Ron for throwing you are God every day He is yes, he is a god called GOD not G. A W. This Ronnie B. I haven't seen him a long time now I know he was it was fun when he was doing spots. Yeah, just like see him you'd see him a lot out You know before the world change.

So we got to get a break here to sit a minute. But before we do that, I want to say, maybe laugh. So like dad says he's coming over, like, so I was like, four, be fine. Then when I talked to him in the morning, I was like, this is why I go, actually, make like five, because I want to take a shower after I'm done with Josh.

I get there he goes, so be fine. So that's just a funny sentence out of context. Make it five, because I'm gonna take a shower after I'm done with Josh. And get there he goes. So that's just a funny sentence out of context. Making five because I want to take a shower and I'm done with Josh. Oh man, I was bragging about you, but you really went Hollywood clear on me. He's just gonna finish on my back and send me on my way. So what? I can't get a kiss on the mouth. Damn, dog. I thought we was home is. I'm a bitch. just ran up in me.

I don't let my home is bust up in my hole. Oh, I let you finish inside. Oh, I even did the toe wiggle, you like. I gave my soul to you. I, it's like vanilla, vanilla sky. I swallowed your calm. I ate your kids. I eat your kids. So you're going to take a shower.

Oswalo, Oswalo, Oswalo, his kids. So you're going to take a shower after you party with Josh. Yeah, so that's where you party. Poppers wear off. I'm going to shower so I can recoup for my dad, you know. I don't know if he wants to do some fucking lights Some white beanie players. Oh, no, you want to do some hands though? You're just a man's up mom. I don't know how close the father son for cat Stevens gay

You might have had to run his only fans You might be doing you might would you do it was just like me? My boy was hard just like me Gary gay hairy chapen So he goes I'm coming. I sucked off my child the other day Just don't want me have funny this whole back and forth is so I go I got Lord in I Go yeah totally let's do it. Five. I'll be done by then and I'd rather hang out with them anyway You know my brothers are great and everything and it's always fun to hang with them. So yeah totally I

You know my brothers are great and everything and it's always fun to hang with them. So yeah totally I finished with Josh getting the shower Watch the filth off of me Watch the city no no off you get the mud the mud off my pipe. Oh, no get this gate grease all off my lap and Five and uh five five thirty you might as well have been on the curb with your glove on your fucking me you're not wrong five thres He doesn't have to phone at one point. It's probably driving then I get a hold of him again And he I don't think Christina knows this part and then he just calls and goes. Oh, yeah, he goes

He has run late like really really late. I'm like, oh, so you're not gonna be before the first show He's like no, but like come hang Like between shows, you know, I mean I come hang out between shows and I'm like Okay, all right so And this is Saturday Saturday. I go to explain people at home The feeling between the fourth and the fifth show is last one, here we go, but you kind of want to just be left alone.

You're like, there's one more to go and then I'm done for the weekend. Sure. It's Friday. It's Friday afternoon for you basically at that point. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. So they fucking, so I guess they get in between my dad was there between shows.

Yeah. When I get done the first show, I say to him, I go, hey, do you want to come out back? Should you smoke? And like, smoke with me and hang out. Is he smoke? Uh, yeah, he is now. Uh, he goes, yeah, or he goes, he goes back, he goes, No, it's okay. Cause I wait for you to come out here. I think I was I'll go smoke a cigarette with you out front afterwards. And I'm like, Oh, like, so I throw my cigarette down. So I'm like, let me tell him to come out back. I don't feel like texting all this, but I'm like, let me grab him and say, come out back

because out front's gonna be too much. It's in between shows. You get to get the people coming in. People coming and the people leaving. So he's like, it's kind of a cool thing, I guess, to prove to him, because he's like, now I just got a front, because your brothers and the guys are coming and everything.

So I'm gonna catch up with him, I go, yeah, but we got them. If you want to just like kick it for like 15 minutes, I got back and just bullshit. Like, come out back with me. I'm smoking joint or something and whatever. He's like, I just, and he keeps walking to the front. And I go, that I'm saying if I go out there, it's going to make a whole thing. He's like, no, I think the other show clear. I go, there's people coming for that. I'm like, all right, he goes, we'll just dip out right over like right here next to the club And I like all right, and then I went outside and like I mean eight people within 15 seconds. Yeah, and he's like, sorry about that. I go that's fine

It's fine. I told you that. I'm just telling you this was Listen listen to me. Yeah, you don't know, you know, that is cool though I told you yeah, now I have to get mobbed by my people. I'm not going to be carried away. Ripped of my clothes and please. Which again was fine. I made some lovely people. That's the, you know, it's the one thing, like the McDaniel thing is unbelievable in my life,

but I don't have it, Gary around to flex on it. Yeah, that's a big flex. Because when I call, oh my, it's all I think about it. Yeah, still in the field with the team when I call my grandma I feel what the best when I called my grandma after the NFC championship game. She didn't care It was like it sucked. I'm like Nana. I'm on the field and she was like don't care You you've been masturbating at my home. Are you walk different? Are you coming and getting high dude Dude, when fix my television, buy me things. Your father was

perfect. You are not. Dude, when Katie and I got high after dropping off my cousin, we were back and we drove back and that was the first like weird interaction. That was the worst. There's never high around her. And I'm like, hi, with my girlfriend. I'm like Yeah, I love her a lot and she's right you suck Go to bed Daniel a bit time Did I tell you this story? Well, wait you know to hold it Like it's my well because we have to I don't want it. Yeah. Oh shit Jesus Christ We have to leave it done 55 minutes. All right, but don't not tell the thing to say it's it's throw it It'll come back up eventually, Okay. But so then we have that moment.

And I go, all right, I'm gonna go back in. Like you guys are going downstairs. Yeah, so you can get your mom to hang. I met my brother and all his friends and everything. Yeah, but in reality, you wanted that 15 minutes out back to hang with your dad. I guess. I mean, it just, it does add more to the essence of the story.

It's not the end of the world. None of it was a big, big deal. If he said he couldn't come that night, I'd have been fine. It's just what's funny about this is the working out. So I want to have already been waiting for him for an hour before he finally told me he wasn't coming that time and he's coming later. He gets to be like,

I'm very on brand. Yeah, so I'm saying it's more on brand than anything super emotional. It's just funny. Because Christine made me laugh. I thought I was laughing all night about it. So then I go do the show. Yeah.

Show's good. I forgot to tell you in the morning when I was in the phone with my dad and he was telling me they're coming and everything. I thought my stepmother was coming because she goes, so what in the background? So what is he just do the same thing all over again? And I went, yes.

No, but I'm like, for me, yes. But I said I go, a lot of people do so don't expect that You're a lady. How do you fucking build one? I'm like, but no, I won't be I won't be because I know you guys are gonna be a true artist Also effective. I'm a true artist J. O.G.R.S.N. Genius. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there it is. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. I love this. It's rough so much.

Yeah. Yeah. So, the show goes well. And after the show, I just got to do my paperwork. What's the bar? It's super fast. Yeah. For the most part.

And then I go, uh... You sign a thing. Yeah. I go Sometimes some clubs are complicated It was 15 minutes sure. Oh, and then I went out back and smokes so let's say he didn't wait there 25 minutes It's not crazy. It's up in a packed bar with he's got a bunch of people with them With nothing when I finished that I start like seeing still a lot of fans there to meet so like I'm being by looking around I'm like the fuck my dad go I go oh they just like like he had a big group so like

They took all maybe went to that bar to drink or something like that. Oh pop is probably around the corner dude. I pop up. I call him I Text him Nothing late late night Nothing Late late night Late late night he texted me he goes. Oh, yeah, he goes is rolled off your stepmom and thought of a joke He goes oh, yeah, we had to like take off He's like yeah, we had to take off wherever I was and then when I talked him the next day

I was like what happened he goes oh, I was fucked up. Yeah, we had to get out of there. I was all fucked up I like what I go some now as an adult, you have a drinking brawn and then you have to leave places. You can't handle your shit. He's gonna give me the drunk dad life now too. Can't give you a drunk dad life, but you either are about 60s up. You're not not.

You just be a piece of shit for me and a piece of shit, sake. But I just go, I was on the phone with Christine at one point, I go, I'm trying to find my dad. I don't know if he left. And then Christine just calling it, she goes, he left you again. Oh, he did. So funny. And so, but she just my dad I don't know if you let and then Christine just calling it she goes he left you again but he did so so much so much she just said I don't know I'm gonna see my dad again so funny I have no idea when I see my dad again that's so fucking funny he goes hey gotta keep you

interesting you know what I mean I'm out I'm dead bad oh you want a good solution to the story get out of here you pussy what are you right raised by a woman all right I'm story get out of here you pussy Raised by a woman all right. I'm just kidding. That was my fault I was got so emotional. What you raised by bitches. Oh, I've always did the handshake Oh dude twice as we get him at my step-a-step It's gonna go as he goes how's your grandmother she's still alive right? I bet Jesus Christ. She's not Gary. She fork she fulking pasta weights the day of the dead. She watches over me.

It is day she's watching over me as we speak. Wait. Trish. I sent you back to Denver for a reason. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Shrish! Spooky Spector hunting in the Rocky Mountains. Damn! Fucking clogging torts and ghost-riding places. Yeah, fucking Poland ghosts and throwing turds. We'll think of a better rhyme when we come back. It's the bonfire. You've been listening to...

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