The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - After School Life

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

Jay and Dan discuss their after school life. Dan and Christine chat about music they like and Jay hates, plus they revisit the 80's tv show Fame!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now, the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. And when this is the lost tape, bonfire, it's the bonfire. It's not the lost tapes.

Why would it ever be that? We're probably here. Yeah. We're definitely live right now on a Thursday. I don't call Blacklew as inundated with calls, please. Oh, the lines are blowing up. I am also in Portland somehow. Somehow, you're there.

Me, I'm on my way to the stress factory. So this is spooky. Weird. Are we ghosts? The Trish no Trish not your fault though we threw that one out you could Trish That was that was a heat check way too early. I just whenever I know black loose film And now I just stare at the camera

Anyway, instead of it making me feel awkward. I'm gonna make it feel awkward Hey, you want to feel awkward? Why don't you show that me and fucking DJ Lua wearing the same exact shirt? Yeah! Kiss and twins! We look like assholes, dude. Woooow! We're gonna go to Chipotle together on the way. Yeah, if you're team bonfire, this is pretty cool. Dude, we should start dancing for money in Chipotle.

Yeah. Guys, we don't want any trouble. We just want to do our performance. If you think it's worth something kindly We put you to put something in the in the meds hat. I want all right. I want two three four I want to bust them through those rotating doors with a showtime showtime everybody okay We do this instead of Robin and steel. We're trying to do good with our lives instead of smoking and fucking couple of straight white cis Gender males out here doing our thing I'm gonna do a good one of our lives. Instead of smoking and fucking. Couple of straight white cisgender males.

Out of here doing our thing. I'm excited to go to Bonfire with you guys. I'm excited to go to put it with you guys and be like, what's up with the shirts in front of the staff? Just toss you under the bus. If you didn't, it'd be some, but the elevator you should bag on us. Yeah, if somebody gets an elevator,

you should let us have it. Anytime you two are together and there's just an outside person, you're catching it. It's like camp picture day. Yeah. Oh my God. Who's holding the bunk?

We have to take a picture today. We were holding a sign. This is like bunk one, 21. Yeah. And all of us just sitting in the install. You look like you're part of a Christian group. With the shirt, if you didn't know what bonfire was, if you didn't know this was serious XM

and you just took you two with those sweatshirts on, you'd be like, are you guys a part of a team of something a Bible team? It's maybe a camp picture. I really hated camp How many years did you go to camp? Four or five maybe five or six even. I don't remember like something that were usually just they actually were always day camps to know you never slept there No, I would have lost my shit, dude. Yeah, I was too scared of a kid to do that I would have been like now I would have and I would have sold out hard I would have been telling people like I miss my mom eventually

The first day I would have really when Isabella went away to like soccer camp and like she was making a thing every day about wanting to come I mean a real scene so funny how like this she's a million miles from now. That would never be a thing. I thought she wanted to go to soccer camp and I said, but if she did go to soccer camp, she wouldn't be like freaking. She'd be like, yeah, whatever. We have to go to Michelle's for indefinitely. And she's totally fine. Yeah, she's with Michelle's house for her thing. But she was, I think you have to go through the first part of it. You have to go to the prime kid, like leaving the house when she was younger, like staying somewhere else. And I had much more sympathy for it. I guess that's the right one. Mm-hmm. Then Carla had because Carla was always like empathy Yeah, I felt it. I was like no, I know you want to come home so bad. It's like oh is it so freaky at night when there's no

The furniture that makes noise that you don't know what the furniture. Oh my god Oh, there's freaky. Do I go do you think someone's gonna come in your cabinet kill you in the middle of the woods Cuz it might happen have you fall asleep and walking up and I don't know where you are You're just making it worse Oh, I know but you can't you made a commitment. I've already paid for it Listen baby girl you got to get through it. I told you there was I think I said this on scanks We just can't tell the story but there was a camp counselor in And I've been thinking about a lot ladies. It's come up a few times and I think I said this on the skanks, we can just tell the story, but there was a camp counselor in,

and I've been thinking about this a lot, ladies, it's come up a few times. And I think, I think I told him without this, I don't think I'm embellishing. I think I may, I'll never be able to check now because she passed away. But the camp counselor thought it was funny to make me the captain of the Skins basketball team all the time.

Like he would say to me, He'd make me a captain. I told him I'd seek you out. He saw me trying hard to not be on the skins team always. I'd make excuses to not be. Do you think he was doing it from the point of like, I'll help you out and get you through your fear or was it a bully move? Felt bully.

Okay. Felt bully. He was like, hey, hey, hey. He's like, it's funny to watch this little fact. It'd run around be uncomfortable. He's like, bust those tits out. Forget that what he's saying. And then it's like, come on, dude, let me see that.

Let me see that rack. And then I think by telling me me a captain, I think I saw the game where I was like, oh, he's gonna make sure. That I'm saying. But he's not even gonna put me through the making excuses for things like now. Oh, so this was a multiple, this wasn't one incident.

Yeah, I think I went home and said he touched my dick or something or looked at me or so. I think I may have gotten him molesting in trouble. But it was the 80s. So even if I did, that was a slap on the wrist. He probably just canceling another bunk at that point. That strike one. Continue the continued the at bat.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're still in. He's still in the game. But yeah, I think I went home and I was like, Hey, he did so. In the 80s, he might have come back and been like, Yeah, I titty fucked him. What are you guys going to do? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. Can what? So what? Look at those little fat users. You don't wanna lay your hog between those two. If you got blood flowing through, you're gonna get hard.

All worked up, dude, the Hooters just had a new album come out. So I'll fill it up, you know, 80 stuff. That is Hooters put on new album. That's cruel, that's cruel that he did that. It was cruel, but it is funny, I was such a little chewy kid that even at the time I know I'm gonna go home and wine to my my mom. I'm about this. She'll fix it One phone call that kids in a different bunk. Yeah, I just lost you wait

It's the same that was the camp by the way at the Jewish Community Center the same Jewish Community Center We're a Kobe Bryant came play basketball. Oh really? Yeah, I'll I'll all went down to the where we looked in the girls locker room. And that's your that's your people have said to me is pretty brilliant. And you're right. You got a. To 12 before there's a teen after your name, you can look in a girls locker room. Mm-hmm. And then if you get caught doing that, you can say, I'm sorry. I'm just looking for my mom. I don't know if she's a can you ask if so and so's there. And then just leave. We were... Good fuck out of touch.

When I went to like after school program, it was at a gym, it was shout out, Cherokee Catholic club, the kid Heartwood. But... There was a gym and then there was just a room for kids where people would watch kids all the time. But it was like a fully functional gym with locker rooms and I remember being like,

dared to run in the ladies locker room. You're like, just run in. And then if anyone catches you, you say you're looking for your mom. And you're like, it's genius. And you're just like, walk in, you're like, lady tits. And then it's like not the ones you want to see.

We're like, oh, no. Oh yeah, no, for sure. Dude, it was mostly what I saw was old Jewish muffs. But once in a while you catch someone, like here's the thing, it's a little kid. The more exciting thing to see actually, is the like a 40 year old. You know what I mean?

Like then you're seeing big old fat Jewish boobs and a mop. You're like, whoa, that's a woman. Big, big, yeah. There was a lady that like, so there was like the locker rooms where everyone would work out and then there was this like, for the pool, there was an indoor pool. so there was the locker rooms where everyone would work out, and then there was this, for the pool, there was an indoor pool, there was a pool locker room for that,

and they would usually keep the kids, which are smart, they would hurt us into there for swimming and stuff, so we never really mixed with the adults, but one time this lady came into the swim, the boy swim locker room by accident, thinking it was the women's shower, and started showering off and was naked, and like three of us were just in there being like, quietly watching.

You know, we're like, oh shit. Oh shit. And she was like, oh my god, and turned around. We're like, oh, oh, we all just, you scatter. You're just like, oh, fuck, and you just run back to the daycare. And you're like, oh, we went to go get water. And we came right back. It's funny, the interest of like a pedophile, like their sick interest based off of the idea that even when I was a kid, like a little kid, like the nudity I wanted to see wasn't like the girl in my class. And now the girl in your class was the one

you were like, she's pretty, I want to kiss her. But I remember situations even when we were like, acts like little girl skirts came up in school or whatever, whatever dumb thing was. And you just see like a little girl in a underwear. As a child yourself, there's still some thing where it's just like, it just looks like boy body. Exactly, there was a difference.

There was a difference in being at like a, when we were doing jump rope for heart and seeing like, you know, Jenny Graber jump up and you're like, oh, her little Barbie underpants. I don't give a shit. And then I would be like fucking clear like lanes with my dad and some woman that had like Tampa Chess It's like laying it over on my this page

Ten years old we go ten years old being like I'd pound this slut out It is you know, it's I mean I always have to cite this joke whenever this topic's brought up because I truly think it's One of those stand-up jokes that you're forever jealous of. And like, God damn it, I wish you were mine. Was Chris Lakers' joke about how short of a window you have to jerk off to 12 to 14 year old girls? And he's like, and you waste that time jerking off the women. It's true.

And he's like, you know, it's true. You blow right up. But that's what I'm saying. That's why I almost like the attraction to that for like a pet of,ophile is like such a sickness because you're like, it's just so non-sexual. It's not, yeah, exactly. By the way, no, we're near on the levels.

Like it's much more horrific pedophilia, but I'm saying someone who's super, like feet is their thing. Not someone who's like, oh, like a nice pretty foot, but someone's like, dude, all I need is to see feet on the top of the cuff. You're just like, oh, it's the same, like I don't see sexuality and feet at all

I've been trying to work out a bit a bit about it and the part that I keep like trying to talk about that I can't like haven't turned over yet is when it's not sexual. It's nothing Yeah, it's like elbows if you're like god damn dude that elbow gets me so hard to be like I can't understand that at all But there's a god but there's people in the world who get turned on by like the band of an Elbow. But I love big tits and like someone else might like sexual organ though. But that's what I mean. But like with like, but I don't like at I'm not like a ask guy like crazy about

asses, but I could see an ass and be like, oh yeah, I get it. That's fucking awesome. Hot or even like, like the nape of a neck you can find sexual. And you're like, I get it, but people that are into feet are fucking into feet. No, it's the only thing. Yeah, they're like, I don't give a shit. Like, please put more pants on.

I don't give a shit. Just get those feet. Put a snow suit on. Get those feet out. Walk over right with those toes. It's gotta be, it's probably difficult in some way, but also in some way, liberating that you're like, it's you have such an attainable sexual fantasy.

See some feet, go to a water park. By the way, friends of yours that are girls would probably laughably, if you sit here in the woods that much they go, so if I just knock around your wiener with my toes, you'll come, like, I gotta try. I gotta try, I gotta try, I gotta try. You know what's funny,

I gotta try to kick your dick around as the of that actually makes you come, that's wild. This stern interview with Sarah Silverman when she brought up Louis. That was an interesting part because you really saw the humanity and she was like, yeah, Louis asked me if he could get your girlfriend on me.

And I said, yes. Because I was like, I'll see that. She was in some of the, like, ah, I don't want to do. That was a little pizza. And he'd be like, okay. Yeah, but her, but the answer, you like saw it and where she was like,

foot, foot guys have to like, it's fucking, but then there's, there's guys that are too aggressive about it foot guys can be very aggressive because probably in their minds are like this isn't that big of a deal to you yeah stop it it's zero to you you know to me it's gonna make me make noises fucking look at Katie said she was at Barnes and Noble one time she must be asked for feet pictures She has a perfect tens of tens of not hundreds of thousands of times She should put a compile a book of people asking for women even more Idea go check her once you go check her wiki fee score. She got a perfect wiki fee score. What's that wiki feet? Wiki oh, I didn't ever heard of it wiki feet. Yeah, it's like a whole website dedicated. She taught me about it women's feet

Yeah, dude's like a whole website dedicated. She taught me about it women's feet. Yeah, dudes Dude, no, I think only dudes it's like serial killing. I think only dudes do it. I think like uh You're gonna say Eileen Warnos wasn't a serial killer. I was real cool, dude. Yeah, she was a serial killer Why do you see gender and everything she was into dams? That's right What's your score? That's five. She's like the ladies. What's her score? Five stars, baby! Bringing home the gold for the household. Mother of murder with those fucking...

Where do you see it? Those kickers. That's so funny. Ah! Ah! Oh! Sometimes I jokingly will like slap my dick on her foot and go, some guy on the internet would pay you $1,000.

By the way. By the way. Ha! Ha! I give him a minute of just walking around. I'll just like it, I'll just like it will get low and just like wag my wiener on her foot and go, you know, somewhere I got, like that's a thing for. Changing his life, changing his life. He would go back to school after this

and really turn around. There might be a camper right now that's getting, like, peanut butter mouth going like there it is fuck I hate old no one feed again whoobly he's just like this fucking big headed loser Dan by the way Katie's gorgeous and that said like I would describe I'd say she has like pleasant looking feet I don't get it at all I don't say like I'd I'd like I't be like, look at her feet and just go,

it's like, oh, this is a girl you'd have to fuck. You're just like, okay, she has nice feet. I don't even, I just have crossed, you fucked up feet. I'm such an idiot that it was like the hundred thing that I even looked at. I didn't even know she had feet. Don't look at your feet on that site.

Those fucking fire walkers you guys, no way. Well, also, it's funny, it's Katie's dating the guy with the, I have the ugliest feet. I have the man. So she tweeted out, if Christine would start a fire on a wooden runway. I have Harry Calfs.

Me and Christine can walk over rocks. We could return, we could throw the ring. She can. We could throw up. I got a request recently. She's got all those, how much money? Do it. It was just like a time of the,

and can I get, picture your feet? This is how, only show them the tops Yeah, it was just money. It was just like a chocolate thing. Just go see your feet. And can I get a picture of your feet? This is how. Only show them the tops if you want to make cash. Yeah, I'm gonna hit bottoms, they're gonna have to pay, you're gonna have to pay them to shut them up. Oh my God, the wheelie looks like she's wearing callous cleats.

Mine look like prosthetics that they put on for like a period piece. Wax feet. Yeah, I can knock mine again. I have deadfoot like mr. Deeds I've probably the only feet worse near than witski's, you know what damn But as a friend I'm gonna tell you tonight. I'm gonna try my best master bids completion to your girlfriend's feet Don't look at that as it's actual. I don't I look at it as an personal journey

It's very good. Is JJ got my feet and I go I think he was kidding. I think you It's very peculiar. It's Jade your girlfriend with my feet and I go, I think he was kidding. I think he was kidding. I don't know. She goes, I'm gonna put on some more socks. I'm gonna start wearing socks and sandals when I go out. I just don't feel good about it.

Yeah, it's, foot guys are loud about it. They're very like, by the way, Christine, your feet might do well actually, because also some guys are into, like some guys are the thing is like, they want like the smell of the day, they want the fucking like from a shoe you know I mean like to do people that are that in the feet would are also

into like socks and shoes and shit I if you like the funk of it if you have a foot fetish you should have zero shame because it's it's funny and it's so non threatening okay I'm gonna don't have it but also uh don't be too aggressive I'm gonna stay I'm gonna say this I'm gonna don't have it, but also Don't be too aggressive. I'm gonna stay I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna go Contrary to that and say live in the shadows. I'd say why don't tell people because none of your friends understand and if they do They're also a problem. I just have questions you guys shouldn't drink together I have an abundance of questions for you like so do I go jeez want to watch people stop on stuff? Is it more about it's all over the place? We should why told you that was

Someone with like a voice modification like gangland and have them come in and just answer questions about foot fetishes We're like are it's usually the bridge of the foot there makes Sometimes toe jam toe jam really good to be going You know toe-wiggling is really a big thing for me. It's more about watching the heel Stopping stuff when a girl gets new socks and there's some of those little yeah, dude little thingies all over foot porn, dude Yeah, it never makes sense to me I love this still the Nickelodeon guy. Oh, did you see? Oh fuck dude? I got a I got a download Twitter and send you this DM. He's a witness in the Gilae Maxwell case No witness. Uh, he's gonna be testifying. Oh, wait. Oh, he's turning on people. I don't know

I got funded from head of the class also was in better off dead fat fellow loves girls. We love feet They feet we talked about it on the show. We don't call gay. Lou thank heaven for Let's do everything have to be gay with you Jersey people. God man. You're so tolerant. Yeah, you can't even go over to a gaze guys House and watch them finish. Yeah, you just leave them. You're a flat leave or dude You're a flat leave you're a real new Jersey blue baller. How many drinks those guys buy you? Done absolutely zero. How many do you buy them a lot who purse drink like a fish? Did you buy them? Of course I did. Oh, dude. No What do you think? And I gave them jukebox money for all the guys the dogs

I'm sure I played a grease on I know I did. Oh, that's where they got them, dude So you said that you love musicals I know I did. Oh, that's where they got him, dude. So you said that you love musicals If you're out there if you're out there in your day and you want to cruise for Lou Just buy them booze and play grease That night would have made more sense to the end of it you killed them in their house. Yeah, that would have made more sense And you were lowering that it would lowering them into a fucking Hate crime and then what you did was in was just you were a really shitty gay three-some date just summer loving guy summer love it guys hang on a second don't take stop trying to touch me I'm gonna go put a show to it on the jukebox real quick

come back and buy you what do you guys want three more purple now three more purple hooters guys I'm gonna rip down this marble light I'm gonna put on a little I don't know I might pick a little maybe I might do fandom of the opera but I'm also feeling a little grease. And then I'ma come back here, Kamakazis in a triple kiss. Prepare to have your Fagbona's popped up because I'm about to do laymiz, whole thing, front to back. Get ready for a journey.

And that's my seat in the middle. I call middle on everything. All right, we're having fun. Bro, tell you a feeling down there. Huh? Something's moving. You guys want to get out of here and go back to your place and party a little hey It's the I'm almost sort of think they didn't offer you booze back at their place You say let's go back to your place assuming there was booze there and they were just like oh this guy's coming

Have sex with us guys come in to fuck damn Lou We talked about the Wendy Williams thing We've talked about is oh we have a whole the fell dog thing We have a whole I mean radio air these give us I mean these guys are on top of the news. Give it a camper tweeted out dammit camper tweeted out the thing about Dennis What's his name from London? Dennis London Blondon was Dennis Blond names. His name is Dan Schneider look up Dan Schneider Galeen Maxwell my son Schneider Schneider it's a Galeen yeah good

to you know I can't leave our trials finally happening yeah I'm suppose she's alive is she turning I don't know she gonna name names I mean the day she doesn't it'll be all the news Kanye and Jay Z were both names. No. Yeah, I think so. Really? Almost certain. I heard it was mostly Seattle Seahawks.

I heard it was like Pete Carroll. It's people you don't like? We're also Wilson, right? I heard it was most, you know. I heard Seth Simon's was on there. Oh yeah, it was a really weird hang. It's pretty crazy. Um, whoever fired me at CBS radio. You're not seeing it, though. No. Well, then I'm a guess I'm just a fucking liar. Yeah, that's what I do now. What I'm wrong. I don't get angry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought he had something to do with it.

I thought there was a connection between Epstein, Maxwell, and fucking the foot king and Nickelodeon. They're probably is. They're probably is. I mean, yeah, they're probably is. Man, it's good. I wonder if it's going to actually take people down. I saw on the Wendy Williams show with Bevy Smith hosting the other day.

Oh, shit. All right. How's she doing? They're fine. There's no one's windy. They're fine. They all are like, it's too serious. Why so serious? It's too serious.

They're trying to get in like, these guys don't know, it just so. So it went from, who are you doing too? How are you? Bevy has, I'd say what, watching the show made me have to look up. Bevy Smith has world class tits. She does.

She really does. I mean, I've enjoyed every age, but by the way, her tits, I see, I see. I see, I see. Her lower bottom is gonna be much heavier than it is. She's curvy, dude. Yeah. She, and by the way, look up younger, Bevy Smith.

I see that a world. I see hot damn it. We used to share a studio with her. I'd seek contact as they say in football. Oh, of course you go for a hug every day. Bevy, I've met so much. Let me get between those fucking big old jokes. There it is.

Oh, now I'm warm. If you had me NFL filmed up, it'd be like, oh hey, Bevy, it was this is you. I was, I mean mean damn they are massive and they're not you the run I'll tell you what now they don't but I'll tell you what if those things drop heavy out of the broad I'm sure they do it still ain't bad it's still ain't bad at all I'd almost say say probably great. Good for her. Good for her. But you're watching what she's doing good there.

Watching the show. She's filling in for Wendy Williams. Yeah, the author just doing way, way too serious. If we lose Alex Trebek and Wendy Williams in a two-year span, it's fucking sad. But um, yeah, what's this? Something we'll get to after the break. Oh, yeah. I remember seeing that little tidbit, get to after the break. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I remember seeing that little tidbit, that little nugget too. Yeah. Oh, they were saying the cancel culture is not real. That's what the point I was making. Uh, baby Smith in them. They're like, it's not real because Dave Chappelle, like in Louis CK, and all these people were able to come out. And it was like, there's really no cancel culture.

You just got to lay low for a little while. And then you come back like, fine, it doesn't affect their business. It's like, one, that's uninformed because it definitely affected their business. Effective their business is absolutely what it is. I mean, it affected their money for sure. Now, Shepel has to go do Q&A at high schools with kids and they're yelling out of it.

They're mad at him, that was so far. Why did he force that on? They already said that he was not doing it and then he get came and did it anyway and there's like, these kids, I don't know, that made me nervous that the high school kids went like that because I was starting to believe still want to.

That the young people are trying to get that kind of bullshit. Yeah, because maybe Isabella is a, maybe her and her friends are anomalies because it's just like they don't know. I think it's just like everything in where the seven loud voices are heard, but the 14 people that don't give a shit aren't heard and you're like, oh, all the seven people are pissed.

Maybe, but that high school just yelling at him. Do they have a fridge at all? Do they have footage of the day school high school thing? Biology is an unnecessary class to take. Shouldn't be in there, man. Trigonometry is tough. It's so easy to kill in a high school. You just go when you go last school

Mo recess and they're like Homework is for losers. I remember one time Martin Lawrence and I will hang out and I said I don't remember algebra because I didn't How many goes? Why am I smoking in the school? Dude, I hope he ripped butts inside. Dude, that would be great. If he was smoking inside, he is the one true king. Hate isn't funny.

Imagine writing that on a poster, just believing that, just being like, yeah, Dave, she pills, that's hate. What Dave is. That's what Dave's doing. He's spent his life trying to be funny. Oh man. And by the end of the article, they said that his tone changed

and they got along with him. And they did say some wild shit though, Chappelle. He goes, I'm better than anybody in this school with everything you've ever done. Does he sort of say that? Yeah, he does. Yeah. I'm better than any musician

that's standing here right now, I will fight you. Uh, yep, yep. Yep, yep, that's broken. It is, it's pretty, I forgot. I forgot, I read the same things he says a little. It's actually the funniest, it's funnier than his special. It's going to his high school and talking shit.

Oh, I'm just playing with it. Y'all ain't shit. Yeah. Hey high schools. I came back to Duke, Ellen, to do everybody to suck my dick. I hated the school. Well, he probably went into it. Fuck the golden nights. He probably went into it a little pissed at it. First they were saying he wasn't going to do it. Well Dave Chappelle has done a lot for this high school. He has done a lot of money. He's brought in famous people

to help raise funds. I'm bummed. He's been, he's been a very generous alma mater. And then they had this conversation because I think performing arts school. It's a performing arts school. So you know, that's the problem. Yeah. They're going to be a bunch of transes in there. Yeah, dude. Young, young teas. Can you say transes? Transes. Well, it sounds like you're trying to save your seat, but you're going to come back at different sex. Transes, transes. I'm not going back.

Shepel repeatedly responded. Oh, yeah, because a 16 year old stood up and said, called them a big it, telling the comic, I'm 16 and I think you're childish. You handled it like a child. Chappelle reportedly responded, my friend. With all due respect, I don't believe you could make one of the decisions I have to make on a given day. I disarmed bombs daily.

I'm hurt like a, they bring me in. I wear a big suit and I have to cut the wires. Is it red? Is it green? I don't know, man. Please, please read what he says after. I'm better than every instrumentalist, artist, no matter what aren't you doing this school right now. I'm better than all of you. I'm sure that will change I'm sure you'll be a household name soon. That's that's That's absolutely passive aggressive. Yeah, that's the most he don't mean that you think they're all gonna be household names

You're a man's names maybe one of them will because of your comment. They're like fuck this guy I'm the guy who called they spelled big and I wrote a book about it. Yeah, fuck it motivated me to the moon To the whole ship else answers involves him laughing or cracking joke. Yeah, cuz he's a comic He's the one of the best comics of all time. Of course. He's gonna crack jokes Grammy that's the thing that pissed me off is when the students are like He one of the parents was like he used the N word. I was like, it's Dave Shipel. Yeah. What?

That is like, if Jerry Seinfeld came and spoke to school and someone was like, yeah, it was pretty crazy. He just kept noticing things and then he said, what's the deal with? Can you believe he asked me? No, the funny thing is though I think he uses the N word like referring to them. Oh really?

Yeah, he's like, now you and word don't know nothing about. Like that. Yeah, it's pretty great. That's actually, I mean, how are not all the white kids? They're like, that's pretty cool. And that was awesome. I think it's a general general. It was like a show schedule sketch that you were supposed to be in. Yeah. Or they're like, oh, so he must have seen me break dancing the whole. He must, yeah, he must have seen me really fucking be a good old fame school Everyone I'm the beginning of fame. They just show people doing like a can you bring up the intro fame like break dancing spin routines in the hallway

And you're like I got to get to class. Could you stop win-milling please? To imagine Michael Chay just walking around rules though, you know, Chay went to the around rules though. Cause you know, Che went to the... Yeah, the barge. Yeah. Dude me, I'm trying to think of awkward me at 15 being at a performing arts school. Oh, dude, fucking having your foot up on a bar and touching your toes. No, not being like, what's up?

Being the opposite of that guy and being like, I don't know, I'm musical talent. You're like, oh, this was just a school in my jurisdiction. Yeah. Oh, this was the zoning guy zoning situation I'm not really a useful here. I'm just here cuz I live in eventually if you can get me some sweet skills on that it'd be nice. I don't know, I was willing to learn a little US history. War of 1812 kind of tickled my interest. This is DeWon. He can headspin for five minutes. Okay nice to meet you DeWon. Oh hi, and you are Thunderbolt. Oh I got it. I got to run the class. It looks like I have Artistic comprehensive dance. I'll be right back. I've got rage dancing first period

Crying on command I have catwalk violinin This high school I would be like I feel this is the intro No, I don't think it's the intro. Now this is what a feeling, I think. This is the movie. That's from the movie. Do the famed TV show intro. Yeah, and then there's just Che walk around that high school. Like, I'm pretty good at drawing.

It's like, yeah. Draw your ass off. I'm gonna be over here doing Lombata. The forbidden dance. It's watching, yeah, like this. Yeah, here we go. Oh cool, you guys just do standing back flips. Oh my god they'll be so annoying. Apparently the black one, Leroy dated Paul Mooney. I think I know a fight

at the LaFactory once in LA. But all they're just dancing down the hallway. I know it's a guys class. Yeah. Oh. Also I'm going through a lot at home so I kind of don't feel like dancing right now. Guys, my mom and her boyfriend kind of a serious drinking problem. It's really kind of affecting the way that at my home life is. Can you stop jump kicking in my face? Yeah, guys, no seriously. Great fan kicks, but, oh, just dancing on the, did anyone do the math homework? Now you guys all have to dance. I would have been in the office a lot at this school.

Yeah. Now you know what, dude? I don't know. I wasn't a follower, but when the whole school's going, Jesse Berego, that guy got a lot of work after this. He was in all the Mexican gang movies. Oh yeah, he was. And he was uh yeah he did a sultry dance with Kelly Bundy in an episode of something once. Yeah look at that cast. This

show made everyone in the 80s think that there was just a high school everyone's just singing in dancing and there was a real high school that it was based off of, but it's just, you know, it sounds a good arts department. Man, I gotta tell ya. Not a lot of hot girls in the school. You have to be an art high school. I remember that guy. He was in stuff. Oh yeah, probably four episodes of a...

Gross Scott Backula? Yeah, I remember his guy. He was Danny. Yeah. He looks like if a Janet Jackson And then all their stuffy white teachers her name's Mayo Carol Mayo Jenkins She's high. That's the blackest name when I wait whenever I heard my life. I'm pretty bland. Oh, she was in other stuff Yeah, Larry Landsberg. She was the girl who I was like, oh if I went to that school, I'd try to fuck her. She might

Hey, that's the old lady from Ghostbusters That's the old lady from Ghostbusters the old lady from the the old lady who died next to Ted striker on airplane also And the people was so hot Oh, she was smoking hot and the people she had a little career after that I wonder if she did any nudes. Uh, Gnathamie Ray. I think Dite of AIDS. Do me Veracriste and Lori Singer from Footloose. Can you look up if uh, Lee Roy died from AIDS or if I'm being homophobic? How many seasons did this show do?

Because it seems like a pretty thin premise. Oh, it was. Yeah, yeah. No, it's a very thin premise. If you get more than if you don't know if you notice the intro for the show This is still what they would show every week It's a five minute intro. It's eating up for minutes which writing wise benefits you They'll slow they get to they give you by the way if you're on the show though How could you got a feel they give everyone a credit a title scene. That's good lawyers. That's good lawyers and agents Voodoo's Value lot gore Christopher Cedar and the fucking supervising producer proceed. Oh my god, dude if theater kids just went dancing down the street to Harlem

In the 80s? God, TV really was fantasy. Yeah. Did they jump into friends fountain in the end? Bound, bound, bound, bound, bound, bound, bound, bound. Yeah, they would have been mugged regularly too. They would have been, yeah, they're the first out. The friends, please. White flight all day, the friends.

Friends. Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm sure Gaross is gonna hang around after he's been robbed in the subway twice. Okay, that seems like his personal. It's Chandler be that charming when you know they find him on the train Yeah, I'm gonna take every there go when he gets ritualistically killed in fucking Washington Square Park You guys hear about Chandler. He was which was to be killed. They called the pentagram on his stomach It would be great to write a spec script of an episode of friends going on during the summer of Sam

And right here, you know Rachel and court and Rachel Monica. I guess you got shot in a car one night Rachel and Monica both take shots The head but Phoebe lives because she's blonde You only like Bruneh. Yeah And this the summer of Sam tested friends. He's like friends. Whoa. I gave him Joey Lawrence and I was like, how are you doing? Oh, hey.

Oh, go get killed. I'm not doing good. I've been talking to my dog lately. He had two kids. Joey the whole time. He was the son of Sam. Kill. Kill for me.

Kill for me. Kill for me. Uh, Jonathan E. Rae who started his Lee Roy and and street smart urban teenager. Was he street smart? He was a gay ballerina. Yeah, but you had to know how to dance in the street. Ballerina. Ballerina, is that what you call?

Yeah. Those are I used to book the comic strip, I believe, was a ballerina for years. Ballerina. Lucian. Lucian was a ballerina for years. Bellarino. Lucho. Lucho was a ballerino. Uh, he was in the movie fame and the television series. He died, uh, in 2003, he was 41, the cause of complications of a stroke.

He had in June and he was also HIV positive nailed it. Look at me not being homophobic. Yeah. That guy had HIV clearly not a fan of the baby because the babies gave fans Don't have HIV. He was in fame and you know that if you was in fame and you don't have HIV put your phone there Pushed up on lightener push up on her Yo, if you was in the fame movie anything and you still alive live with HIV put your stuff on lighter If you had natural talent but never took any dance classes then there was seeked out for a high school a very

Exclusive high school in New York and then you didn't have HIV put your phone in there. Put your phone in there If you may have had a sexual relationship with Paul Mooney put yourself a line Is that good time to jump into gay news stories jump into gay news This my favorite line on the gay news sheet for radio Andy says the gayest news of all literal space docking. Please find out what space talking. See you find the mean. Just space talking type of gay, type in gay space docking.

Ah, let's talk about docking because in general, it has a history on our show. It was season one of the bonfire was when we were getting all getting to know each other really, space docking on urban dictionary is when two men of which one as circumsciences one is not engaging in a sexual act of putting the circumsized penis inside the foreskin of the uncircumcized penis. This is a true space docking. Yeah, this is docking, dog.

What it says, the gauge is what what literal spate, but it must also did they do it in space? They must have. I think this means something about like a SpaceX like connecting with something in the air. Ah, that'd be my guess. Yeah, but then it was fun. I like that he has the in there. Dude, gay news is such a funny term for some of these because some of them just hilarious things like uh... It's funny if it'd be funny if gay news was like higher taxes, like that's pretty gay. Yeah, well it's the Queen of the-

I like the way they were saying it, they're like by the way there's gonna be construction on the driver of Ridge for the next 13 months. Yeah, that's pretty gay. Uh, peacock infestation. Just that is the subject by itself and it's like why is that gay news because everyone knows gay people love peacock yeah just like that goes this is a pretty gay story how's the peacock infestation peacock is probably the gayest bird well the flamboyant for sure are they the gayest bird always know what they call

like when you're showing off peacock yeah yeah they come in with the Flair robes all the time. I'm like, hey, how are you? What they're big? There was an infestation of peacocks. I will say I will call it that. In your pay. They were in Miami. When me, Ari just were in Miami and I'm telling you one of the scariest things ever, they would they don't fly a lot. They fly a little. I didn't. They do. They fly Delta. They would. They fly hard is what they do When they jump they basically jump from roof to roof and if you're outside Like a bomb beginning. Yes. Yes, dude a bunch of them and they decided to do the roof for a while

And then when they jump from roof to roof you're heavy And they decided to do the roof for a while and then when they jump from roof through You're heavy You're big and heavy please find videos of peacocks jumping for roof roof that is so terrifying Just thinking that people like oh god other other roof. I don't know why there's a A buttons of peacocks in the world now Miami peacocks jumping And that's when a lizard landed on me one point a rough time Miami. I don't like it a lot of creatures Yeah, I don't like all the critters and creatures down there. They have a lot of creatures.

Yeah, it's too much, man. That humid weather's swampy and it brings out snakes and fucking gators and all these things. Your baby should never be in danger of being taken from an alligator on your property. That's insane. The gator came and take him on baby. And like the Jibel, the three-foot fence around here today.

Yeah, it goes, ah, there shouldn't be a three-fence between my child and a gator. Gator napping is probably real big in Polk County. Some would wish. Dude, flying, urban peacock jumping and flying from roof to roof. Do this could have been where we stayed. It's so eerie. You're gonna get out of here, bird? from roof to roof. We do this good, but we're we stayed. It's so eerie. You gotta get out of here, bird. Yeah, but you don't wanna do anything, too.

Could you like, what if I hook a rock at it? It comes for you. It's pissed. Then fucking bring it, dude. I don't know if it flapping those feathers up, maybe he's a sign of like, you're about to die, boy. Yeah. It's like the dinosaur and Jurassic Park

that's about to spin on you. Are my feathers tight? like dude. Let me itch my ass. Oh do their flying is so violent looking. Here we go They're so big. I think you've heard of my I'm meeting another spy here Music play is that you playing that yeah? This is super agent Peacock. Peacock fall, coming in. Peacock, do you have eyes on the prize? Look, he doesn't want to do it because he knows, Dan. Well, of course.

I know. When he does it, it's going to take everything because it's such a lump move. You should have told me you were sending Peacock. Ah! Dude, they do jump like they're jumping from building the building. You know what action movies are?

They do that. It's like trying to, when you laughably watch like a fat person try to jump over a very small like Area yeah, and they're just like they put so much effort into it like fuck this go eating They don't fly high. Yeah jump ahead to it fly hard they fly hard fly hard Fly hard They fly hard fly hard fly hard Look how much like two minutes of the video Oh my god, they don't fly as much as they can really jump Because then they're just down again like in my mind flight is you take off and you fly yeah They're just slowly stopping themselves from hitting the trees. Yeah, like Rambo when he jumps off the coast. It's a fuck.

Yeah, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap. Bap, bap, bap. First split. Yeah, peacocks are terrifying. Do they do the thing with peacocks when they, when they, when it's that kind of a problem in Miami, do they do the thing where they're like, hey, you can hunt them.

Peacocks? I don't think you can hunt peacocks, dude. That'd be pretty badass. That'd be pretty badass put together a hit squad. That'd be bad. I don't think that's even sort of possible. Well, yeah, Jacob, like a guanas. Can you hunt your guanas? Guanas, you're it. Oh, yeah, you're, you're, they encourage you to kill a guanas on site really? Yeah, why they're they're so they're invasive animals They're not spot and they

They're not cool. I kill a lot of wildlife So there why is nobody have a heat lamp in the room and a nice Jacob can you drift would if we bought you a body Camp yeah, if we bought you a body cam like they put on cops so they don't kill blackheads. Can we have you go kill iguanas? Kill iguanas, just go. But please, and I will say this, white iguanas only. Only white iguanas.

And yeah, they better not be having any, check their hands. Dude, no black iguanas. You kill a black iguana, you have a force. Check their hands, what are you taking their hands for? Four finger rings. A four finger ring is his fresh. Yeah. You kill a black iguana. You're off force. Check their hands. What is your hands for? Four finger rings. A four finger ring is his fresh.

Do not kill that iguana. But dude, and then just can you, can we put together all, like a commando scene where you just put your vest together and then just go out and fuck up iguanas? I, I tried the FaceTime one of you while I was taking, trying to take one out the other day. Oh man, I'm out of my tail. Yeah. Damn, you while I was taking trying to take one out the other day. Oh, man, I'm mad. I missed that. Yeah. Damn, you couldn't get it. I have a, uh, the scope got loose. So it was, uh, it wasn't

on shot was off. No shot was off. I mean, I had him right where I needed it right in the back of the head. But yeah, it went high every time. So. Oh, it just didn't even move. You just missed it. And it sat there. Yeah, they just stay there. That's the thing with iguanas. They're like body armor. They're just like built.

Like their skin is so thick. If you hit them in the body, they'll just stay there. They just do they look at you when you do it? Are they like, hey, what's up, bitch? They did nothing. So there's like, there's some soft spot in the back of their head. You got to hit it. It's like right behind the ear, you got to hit them.

Damn. If you don't want to, we, you want to put them out quickly. I'm not trying to now. I'll go over there and show them who did this to him. What about hatchet? Look at my face. If hatchet, and my face, I would remove their heads. But you're a lot of them.

Put them on high. Let the rest know. But you're allowed to put them on pipes. Let the rest know. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you