The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Aggressive Clown Rap w/Sal Vulcano

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Jay has just returned from The Gathering Of The Juggalos and has stories for Sal Vulcano who is filling in for Bobby Kelly. Jay seemed a little fed up with clown rap but enjoyed sucking on balloons full of drugs. | Starting the early 90's, movies were getting made about comedians and their lives on and off the stage. Years later, Robert De Niro made the film "The Comedian." Sal and Jay take a deep dive into this unrealistic tale and wonder if his act would actually work if a real comedian used his jokes. | Jay tells the story of the time he and Christine hooked up with a lady on the Impractical Jokers Cruise. Go to Salvulcanocomedy.com for his tour dates and info. Big Jay is on punchup.live/BigJayOakerson. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. What is a juggalo? After three days with the juggalo's, I can describe it better by smell than I can, by physical traits of a juggalo. A juggalo smells like three days of sweat, glitter, and dirt. Aggressive clown wrap and frivolous butthole flingering. I didn't see hands sannie anywhere. You can walk into an elevator and be like

A juggalo's been in here Yeah, without a doubt I trust there's juggalo's at this hometown Put your microphone in front of you Oh yeah It's the Bonfire Faction Talk Series XM 103

I'm Big J. O'Kerson The great Robert Kelly is off Where is he? He's in San Fran today, right? Or he's off... I know he's going New Hampshire. He's going to spend a lot of time in New Hampshire. He needs more time in the tiny house, which is a crazy

concept to me. Hey, I'm going to take my family to a tiny house. Hey, we're going to be really on top of each other. But he loves it up there. Sitting in Bobby's chair today, we are very, very blessed to have, from the Impractical

Jokers, and friend of the show, and friend for life. The Great South Volcano joins us. Thank you so much. All of you. Thank you. Buddy. I'm so excited to be here no joke i'm just saying to have you i you guys should consider impractical joking at the gathering of the juggalo's they'll say all the stuff you want them to say and they're too fucked up to

recognize you guys yeah i probably shaggy i'm pals with shaggy he comes and out and sees us every time we i or the guys pass through anywhere near michigan or whatever oh really yeah does he come with like kids or anything he comes with uh you know this lady and he hasn't brought kids i don't He's married for sure. Yeah, I didn't want to, I don't know if he's, I don't know if the clowns try and keep it tight to the vest. Shaggy the man is married. I don't know if they try and keep it tight to the flower lapel. Shaggy, yeah.

We were writing clown rap lyrics all weekend. You can smell my flower. Whoops, it's water. Dick and thin, shake my hand, electric shocks. Flipping Dickie, horn honk noses. It's All the old practical jokes Oops that nickel is glued to the ground

Banana peel who left that there Nailed through my finger Real blood These people love clown rap They're into it I'm into it When you're there you can't not be into it Yeah I feel like like I said

It's like a bangin group It's like a banging like you know It's like you immediately beats are thump heavy is what I was trying to say yeah yeah but then I just you know I just I do wonder what the expiration on it because it all feels like it sounds like that well I gotta tell you because it's written in such like character like stuff yeah murder clowns yeah because it's written from that thing there is no expiration on it as long as they again and also the thing about wearing makeup it's like slip not with the masks you're

ageless yeah you can't really tell well I don't mean for them expiration or I mean just listening. Well, it's what's saying because it's a character though and it's kind of silly like what has a much bigger expiration we should talk about this on Skanks not long ago which I love making me laugh

is angsty new metal of the early 90s when it meant something to you and now the fact that I said Papa Roach has to get on stage every night and go I know my mother loves me but does my daddy even care

and you're like buddy no one cares if your mommy or you shouldn't care if your daddy your mommy care anymore you're fucking 60 your grandpapa roach they are yeah disturbed has to do the song about his mommy being mean to him you have to stay that forever

at least when you do this song and if there's a market like if those guys if there's a marker for them when they're in their like late 60s they have to sing those songs and if you use your money properly your children shouldn't have these feelings or understand your music whatsoever right right you're singing these songs

of X and your kids are fucking like wearing you know fucking Gucci robes yeah you failed if your children are a fan of your own music yeah like what would they feel about it right they're like god this really hits me in the soul he goes I feel like this a lot of times

in private school um this hits me when I come home and my stay at home mother is making me a delicious meal at the cross I tend to find that I'm a little angsty that would be so so ironically hysterical if like the

they just weren't connecting and the music that spoke to the kid was his father's music you don't understand listen to this I'm certain that there's yeah he goes I don't want you to grow up to be some pussy dude how are you going to learn how to play the guitar

if I just hang around and well father you you would just sit around and parent you well the whole time I'm curious I would have been curious to find out at this festival like there's got to be someone there is like I'm in med school I'm a lawyer currently yeah um there was one of the girls there's thousands right thousands thousands there was one of the girls that was so hot in the miss juggaette contest and she said she was an accountant and after the contest i was like so you're an accountant

she was like what i was like you know the first professional job she's like i'm a surgeon well i thought it was strange as she said she was an accountant because what i noticed before look you can't just look at somebody and see that they're an accountant right You can look at somebody, especially when they're half naked and tell that they are an aggressive cutter, a self-mutelated. Now, she was that. And I was like, is this like your punishment for getting numbers wrong? You said I was getting a thousand back.

I owe 400. I've done you wrong. It was a... I debited when I should have credited it. I thought you could write off newspapers. Idiot. There's got to be someone there with a good job, but God bless the people that have to go up there

and sweep slash like Zamboni off the stage because they go up there to do it and then God forbid anybody pleasantly acknowledges like, hey, have been at a random applause for the guys who will come up here and get rid of, you know, you guys are throwing, and I'm not exaggerating when I say a squid, a full turkey leg.

Oh, wow. At the stage. Squid? Why squid? A squid. You have to buy that. It was an octopus. Yeah, they traveled with octopus.

No. Is that a thing? I don't know. Is it dead? Is it just what would become food? I stopped eating octopus. Don't know, did you? Did you see it?

Too smart. Really? That's not even, I've never tried octopus. Well, maybe once. I didn't do it because in my mind it's going to like sucker to the inside of my mouth. The suckers are on it when you look at it. They're on it. I didn't eat it from my whole life and then like maybe like years.

maybe like years ago it's just a few years back i was like i'll give it a whirl and then i was eating it for a while then i like watched one solve like a very tough puzzle and i was like i'm a hard pass on this i saw one do a three hundred piece puzzle mr t flexion that was the 300 piece puzzle a puzzle i could not solve by the i'm like i won't eat you yeah he does the uh you so you go over to a chalkboard and do the Goodwill hunting formula The answer's three Pieces of chalk

You're just Division signs and stuff Going through his head Let me ask you about the juggle I'm just send Christine this picture of I'm going to send Christine a picture of this You can see the octopus for sure The gathering has been going for

Is it like 20 plus year This was 25th year 25 years So it stands to reason that there's New young juggalo's being introduced in. Oh, yes. And then there's the people that are the warriors that have been going for

5, 10, 15, 20, dare I say 25? If you were 20 years old in 2000, there are, I'm sure there were 45-year-olds going that have been to anyone, or that might be a right of passage or claim to fame. I've been to every one of them or something like that. There's some flat-out older people just there in general. Hippies, in fact, because they're going there, I'd assume, for the drugs. It is an open-air drug market for sure. It's just, just, it is a complete.

open air drug market was there zero fear of any repercussion right zero i didn't feel any you know what i was doing a gnaust balloon front of the side of the stage like you do yeah as you will yeah and when i do that the guy goes uh he goes do do do goes don't do that like in such plain sight in front of the stage and i'm like you know there's people like booting up heroin into their girlfriend's toes right there and he's like yeah but you're in front of the barrier i got it okay that's fair i didn't have I'm having a better argument after that. He's like, yeah, but they're behind the barrier and you're on this side of it.

I was like, sure, all right. Dude, know where your barrier is, okay? Yeah, dude, do your Noss balloon back there. Wait, Noss. Is that what makes Dominic Toretto go fast? It is also, yes. But it makes my voice go like this. Oh, I apologize.

I'll take this back to you. Wait, this is the thing that is like in Wippets? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay, that's Noss. I thought that was... CO2 maybe? Yeah, like, no... Maybe I just call it Noss.

Yeah, I live my life a quarter mile at time, though. Isn't that, um... Yeah, I didn't call it Nass. Is that, okay. Is it not Noss? It's probably not. The thing in Ready Whip is also what makes you win at Tokyo Drift? It's the same thing?

Hmm. I don't know for sure. Because you could, like, in a pinch, just get a whole bunch of ready whips. Thank you, I'm not a mechanic. When Dominic Toretto, at the last moment, has to send himself over the edge, and he pushes the button and just fucking whip cream. And his muffler? Push.

Oh, man. I think Noss is laughing. Laughing, so that's, oh, that's what that is. But this doesn't make me laugh. It makes you almost pass out as the move, almost. It doesn't make you laugh? Nitrous oxide. That's what I thought it was.

Yeah, Nass, sometimes called Lamegis. Oh, okay. And recreationally as an inhalant, yeah. So it's the same thing. Yeah. I accidentally did this at a concert, Flaming Lips, right? I went to a flaming lips at Brooklyn Steel,

and I came out. I was with a group, I was with Ari. and a few other people and I came out and somebody I'm just in a pot it let out there's hundreds of people in the streets where we're in a group six seven of us someone hands me a balloon

this is how how much I don't know about this stuff I thought it was for helium sure so you guys are all have funny voices with each other yeah so someone hands me a balloon why would I think what other reason would there be a balloon so I sucked it in and I'm like talking and my voice is not changing

your voice got deep because my oh yeah Really? You did it wrong. Oh, I did it. Okay. So I sucked in and I was like... Well, helium, though, you just kind of kind of let it go into your mouth. With the balloon, you're supposed to actually like, like, suck it in to...

I did. But my voice didn't change. Because we used that... You didn't hold it in and stuff like that. Okay. And then I was like, what is this? Why is my voice not changing? Everyone's hysterical laughing.

And they're like, it's nitrous oxide. I'm like, no, it's not. Why would it be in a balloon? Why would you hand... Who handed me this? And then they were like, I looked around. Everyone had the balloons. And I'm like, what is it?

And then there was someone selling the balloons. Yeah. Like on a, like, it was like, it was actually nice. It was like all, like, all balloons like in a row on like a piece of, like, poster board. You talked to Fanoia about this. Yeah. And he'll tell you there is what's called Christine, look them up. The Nitrous Mafia.

Is that right? There's been. Does he call them Wooks? No, no, no. You're talking about just, no. Nitrous Mafia is the guys that run that, like, shit, like outside of like fish concerts and everything. And I think there maybe has been violence. with the people protecting

like who's going to be the people selling the NOS. Is that right? I think so. Wow. Like this is my turf. Yeah. Oh my God.

And like it's a real What does a fight amongst fish mafia people look like? Fuck, who knows? So I had never seen this before and I was confounded and I was like, why would someone hand me this? And I sucked it in. I didn't know what I was sucking in.

And I was like, it was very funny to everyone else but I was like I didn't really laugh. It's funny. Lewis didn't want to do it. And then when I was doing it, he brought up a picture, he brought up the Wikipedia page of like what this does to you if you do it a bunch over the course of three days. And so I just looked up the dangers of unprotected sex

with frequent strangers and gave his phone back to him. You want to go, yeah, you want to go for all the things we have problems with? Yeah, we're all going to die, dude. Relax. Here's what Unprotected Sex with random strangers does. I thought you were going to say, like, if you do it prolonged, like, over. years but you said three days which scares the shit out of me now like you could have

something wrong within three days you're not gonna though you're not gonna this was like this was like I would say this was maybe five maybe five years ago and your hand just up shaking and I haven't felt right since so nothing's been the same since that day no I did that's that's the hardest that's the hardest I've done it kills your cells right right something like that yeah yeah yeah well But also, again, like every other drug, I don't know why it never, I'm always looking left and right at people enjoying drugs more than me. I don't know what it is. And this one isn't like it can be blocked by Lexapro or anything.

Just everybody else is doing it, like lays back at one point, has their eyes closed, and they're like, whoa, man. And I'm just like, uh, hey guys, it's kind of fun, right? Hello, babe. Yeah, I give a couple of big bops for them. I hit a couple big boppers. Santi Lai, Hannah pretty. Hannah, dude. Oh,

voice is back. All right, you guys want to go get some food? Jay, will you do another one? Will I, what?

Come on now. You know Jay gonna come down with it. It's like, oh man, dude. I'm like the love master. Craig Shoemaker,

remember the Lovemaster? What is that from? His stand-up from the 90s Craig Shoemaker's love master. Come on, baby, come on. No, I don't remember him. So Craig Shoemaker is a comic

from Philly, but he's not a bunch of specials and stuff. which is one of the regular like evening of the improv stuff like that back in that day and he always did a character called the Love Master and it was

it was a thing he did and he uh but it was a character yeah come on baby love master going to make you feel good and then like all things in the 90s because there was no streaming services and people don't remember this

they needed to make movies to put in theaters they needed movies right so they take chances on movie theater movies on movies that wouldn't be on fucking to be right now right right right the lovemaster is one such film they made them decide to go and make a film on it where it's like yeah you know his alter ego is what's making him popular with the ladies wow christine if you wouldn't mind the trailer for the love master movie please wow it's a film star by the way co-star the girl from melrose place um what the fuck is corney thorn smith oh yeah for sure yeah oh

Oh, chairman of the board? Yes, that chick said yes to any comedian's movie. They say she was the Yasmin Bleath of 97. Is it? Yeah, here we go. Also, by the way, RIP. Yes, he happens to be a stand-up comedian also.

Oh, in the movie. I can't believe that any comedian puts pen to paper anymore on a fucking story that involves them or the main character being a goddamn comedian. who can't we've explored all of the ups and downs and woes of it we did it it's a shitty business something good can happen overnight something never good can happen you can end up on cruise ships and everything in between blah blah blah we get it stop there hasn't there's not one story that hasn't been told my family doesn't understand that there's a struggle and how I need to do this oh then the flip is I mean Seinfeld covered it as well

so you know pretty good oh let's also throw a milaney while we're at it and uh every other fucking show that makes the person a comic also wasn't Jim Jeffries also a comic yeah yes Stop. Stop comic shows. Christina, I know, but you would in a heartbeat. What about that? Was it the Adam Sandler one where he was like terminal? Oh, fuck, yeah.

Then there's a sad stand-up comedy movie. Yeah, there's a sad one. Oh, stop. Making an analogy and making something you're going to compare to comedy even. Stop making it another comedian's life. We think it's so romantic. It's not. No, it's terrible.

It's not terrible. You can make good stories out of the, world but like what else is left to be told from it yeah struggling guy who's working hard guy who makes it really fast uh people who can't sustain fame what was the denero one was it called the comedian i didn't even watch that one yeah it was called the comedian right they were doing that at the cellar also every comedy movie films the cellar if you i saw that one every special and comedy movie has the same backdrop of a stick man telling jokes i saw that one on a plane but i just remember watching it and deniero didn't hold the mic like a comedian i'm like that's

one thing you got to get done right away it's like he just didn't look like it was something he did every night he was giving a speech or something yeah yeah yeah but by the way the pose they have him do on the cover of the comedian and i if everyone will put it out it couldn't be more of like a hey what would a comedian do right here yeah but that's what i'm but that's just what i'm thinking god damn that's like i know what a cast for something that didn't need to be done again that's like this weekend at the looney bin oh fucking again another yeah yeah appearing this week yeah wacky tom that's definitely like at a hotel like hotel like hotel like hotel comedy poster i know it's just like the the subtext of the whole thing being

the world of stand-up comedy is so boring do you think that any of the material from the denierro comedian movie any of it like even a lot did you think any joke would land in reality like if you watch it right now would you give me a taste christie rip it apart or it'd be like You know, before we get crazy, you'll give say how a little taste of what The Love Masters got going on in his film trailer. And then let's jump over to some De Niro stand-up. Ooh, you fuck. He's got to get the impressions in, dude.

By the way, 97's even pushing a fucking Don Nott. That is crazy. 97? You're like, this movie is for my age almost exclusively. Yeah. A Don Nott. In the trailer. That's Best Food Forward.

20 plus years. After Don Knott's... He goes, he has final cut on trailer, and he goes, guys, I know you keep saying it doesn't make sense, and we're not catching the new audience here with the Don Knott's impression out of the gates. But I'm telling you, they'll reverse engineered. They'll go backwards. I'm the comedian. Yeah. Guys, I'll let you know.

The Donnots thing goes killer every night. Yeah, but you're working in fucking casinos and shit. He goes, yeah. Just leave the Donnots thing. Also, this is 97. So Seinfeld rapped in 98. and famously did shrinkage. Shritch, for sure, sure.

Well, he's trying to get you to pay attention to the screen for a second. That was Farrah Fawcett. No. Wasn't it? No, no. That was Farah Fawcett. These are studio favors.

Oh, my God, that was Farah Fawcett. Hey, my dick just touched your doorbell, Miss Fawcett. Oh, my God. I gleaned nothing from the trailer, by the way. Is this about a guy who wasn't respected, then found a smooth voice, and then his life changed? Yeah. Well, let it unfold a little bit.

There's about 30 seconds left. Would you mind, Christine? Is the whole movie him talking to George Went? Because that's the only thing they're going out on a one date with Farrah Fawcett. And then also... His act. Which we all know is his life. Damn.

Kurt Rambis got earlier bill. Why not just call it the funniest movie of the year? Go back to the cast right there. I want to see this because there were some goodies in there. Special appearances by Courtney Thorne Smith, Farrah Fawcett, Harley Jane Corrack. Can you see who that is so I can see if that's a big special appearance? And Karen Witter, no idea. You don't want to open yourself up to life.

You say it might be. That's so funny. and the last thing is it just might be the funniest movie of the year I don't want to make guarantees what some people are calling the funniest movie of the year

don't put doubt and the last thing you do is cast doubt about the film this very may well be the funniest movie Fat Joe has ever seen I still tweet it

I know I know you do I mentioned I look for it every UFC did I ever tell you that me and just a couple years back when we were watching a UFC

See, we were laughing because they show the tweets on the bottom of the screen while the fighters are fighting that are going. And people, oh, man, that was a 10-9 round for sure, for so-and-so. This is a great. Oh, these guys are going at. They're bang. And then... It's mostly just the fighters and Theo Vaughan. And Theovon, mostly, yeah.

And then at one point, it just has Fat Joe and just goes, you know, this may be the best fight I've ever seen. Or this very well may be the best fight I've ever seen. And then so from then on out, whenever me and Sal were watching the fights together, he would... because he's got the best chance of it getting on, Sal, so we have Sal tweet, this very well may be the best fight Fat Joe has ever seen for any fight.

If we remember the beginning of any, if we remember before the second or third round of any fight, he just tries again. This very well may be the best fight Fat Joe has ever seen. I tweeted it from UFC 205 to UFC 319. They've never put it on.

You think they just to shut you up one time, they're like, okay. is the best thing fed show is. No one up there has a sense of humor. No one? It's the same person that puts them up. Okay, let's see. Harley Jane Kozak

is an American actress and author. She made her film debut in a slasher film in 82 and has a recurring role as Mary Duvall on what's that? On the soap opera Santa Barbara. She was also in Clean and Sober. Wow, special appearance. That made her feel really good.

Yeah. That's the first time in her whole career. they said special appearance um isn't she in stripes it's very possible she was in stripes christine look up if she was in stripes and also type in her name in the word nude um well you always got it just run the yeah just take it through the car wash let me see if she's done the whole if you wouldn't mind thank you first we'll do this yeah first we took the i'm db and also i'd love to see the book she wrote if you wouldn't mind and also if there is if it's available in audio what Courtney Thorne Smith, what is it, like, she was active, Courtney Thorne Smith.

She was some, you know, and then all of a sudden it just, I guess, it just comes in, it just comes to an end, I guess. I don't see her in much. She, I think what happened was she hit the sitcom circuit good. Yeah. Off the ground and running. She was definitely in like, I can't think of what. If we look at her, IMDB, she was in growing pains or family, something like that. Right.

One of them deals. She was on, nice. She was on one of those. Yeah. Kind of shows for, and then. went to TV teen dramas, Melrose Place, and you want to go up? I'll do it. You have to get out of it.

And then they get all the way up, boom. It's so high. Sal, I don't know if you expect the only satellite radio company in existence to have their studios with a bunch of functioning chairs, dude. They have to focus on satellites. They can't even find anybody to make these 10,000. dollars cameras work. They're on all the time but nobody is controlling them. Those are so expensive. 10,000 a piece I was told

and they use on the show and they are connected to nothing. Nobody's watching them, they're not connected to a screen I don't even know if they're plugged in. Really? I got a haircut for this. Nice! But she did a, is this her being naked on TV's Dream On

with Brian Ben Ben? Oh wow. That's where it was bound to be. That's where a lot of people did their PJ Seals was in Stripes, my bad. Yeah. You fucked up big, Jacob. I'll let it go. Whoa.

Oh, she's getting it from behind from Brian Ben Ben. I've always that name stayed with me. Well, you don't forget a name like that. Brian Ben Ben, more than the show. I couldn't tell you an episode of the show Dream On, but I remember it was starring Brian Ben Ben, Ben. And there was a lot of pictures in one of my favorite pseudo-pornographic magazines called Celebrity Slooth that showed a lot of Brian Ben-Ben in the background

because it was a show about sex, I guess. Is that right? Dream on, you never watched it? No, I know it. I didn't watch it, though. I will say, though, from the look of her in that sex scene, I feel like she's never had sex. Did you see the face she made?

It did seem strange, yeah. Yeah, look, she was wondering, goes, are we sexing now? Oh, I know we're all over the place. Is this? This is Robert De Niro. Yeah. Who's bringing them on stage?

Is that Keith Robinson or Jimmy J.J. Walker? It's Jimmy J.J. Walker, yeah. If you want to watch, maybe the funniest, if you could find that, Maybe there's a trailer for this, too, would be fantastic. I mean, the best two for an all of comedy. We talked about years ago on here, but remember they just put out on Showtime?

A double headline special? Jimmy, J.J. Walker and Michael Winslow. Oh, oh. Yeah. What a night, dude. I'm all for it. This sounds like something you and I would do when you come over my place.

Oh, that would be like if Barbara Streisand and Sherry just said, we're going to fucking do dueling pianos tonight. I mean, that is great. It's the Elton John, Billy Joel of this kind of shit. Is this going to be De Niro's stand-up? Yeah. Give me a taste. Because this is how people talk.

Yeah. Right before you go on stage. Well, it's the punchline effect. You know, everyone doing that. He goes, there's scouts in the audience tonight. What? What does it mean? Right.

Let me go to my locker and change my outfit. Scouts. They, why? I tell you what, I'm worried about that kid. I feel like that kid, I think it's the same kid, plays a sexually confused boy in everything he plays. Oh, that was a kid? That was a boy?

Wasn't it, though? Yeah, yeah I think this kid has played a I'm confused whether I should wear a dress or pants In several movies That's gonna hit him at some point Is that the kid from the Justin Timberlake movie? I think maybe

He nails it so they just know to go to him If you need a kid to not feel that weird Going to a dress around other kids I got the kid for you Oh have you guys met my sexually ambiguous nephew We call him Lee Because that can go either way You ever see that curb with the little kid that, I guess, Anagastair, he's dating her, and it's his son, and he's flamboy.

Clearly, he's gay, a little kid, but she doesn't cop to him in a little middle. And he comes out, and he's like, hey, Jews! He's talking to Larry, and Larry, like, he sees, like, the flamboyant kid. His kid's the best. How can you be this good of an actor and not deliver this well? Is he supposed to be, like, newer at it or something? or is it like a long time? I don't recall, but it feels like...

He's a great actor if he's being choppy. Right, but I don't think that's the case. It looks choppy. Yeah. Oh, Jacob's an easy mark, though. Jacob laughs at everything. Wait, you laughed at that joke?

No. No, you laughed at how bad the joke was. No, computer, Jacob laughed at it. Oh, okay. We could make Jacob laugh at whatever the fuck we want. Hey, did you hear 12 babies died in that flaming truck

Jacob Jacob Jacob not cool, bro Jesus fucking Christ Where's the security Where's the security at this club? There is none

Somebody call a cop What is the stand? Oh they film is the stand? Where the comics have to police their own problems? There was a problem to stand, so I had to bounce two people out. I had to bounce the stand four times in my life. Really? Oh, a gaggle of Jewish boys.

That was an easy one. That was fun. We were just padded numbers on that one. Oh, yeah. No, without a doubt. Do you have a lot of comedy takeovers, sneak attack you at the... I haven't had that. Well, they would have been stopped while they brought in their gimbal camera.

It's literally It's literally on a static She has on camera A Kuzama She got the thing where it sits Like in the front of her stomach All right You're on stand-up take down

We have a gap Where's my gaffer There's a lighting kit Where's my key grip We're losing daylight here gang It's just so unrealistic It's so over the top unrealistic

Like You know it's like So campy in a way Or like Well they don't know How to get it done Somehow I said I mean

punchline is just like that didn't I didn't even care for the movie as a stand-up comedy fan when I was a kid I saw it when it came out yeah I saw it I don't remember VCO you know like a VHS or whatever and I was like kind of whatever about I mean even just starting in comedy I think me and Kurt Metzger probably watched that again

a year in where you really still have no semblance of what's going on yeah but already realized that at no level of this are you going to get your locker at the comedy club it doesn't fucking even make sense. And then by the way, one day someone has to clear out their locker. What happened?

Moving on down the dirt trail. Clearing up his locker. Walk into the crowd with a milk crate. Getting escorted out. A plant. Hey, there you go. Hey, uh, wacky Sam. Water my plant for me.

I'm going to leave it here. Hey, just because I'm getting kicked out doesn't mean the plant has to do, right? Chief You can cut it off Wow Would that work in a real comedy club Yeah

On an 8 o'clock show At a packed house Mainstream club Yeah In a major city Yeah absolutely I mean hack works for a reason You know what I mean

Like the most basic level of stuff Yeah Yeah I think it would That's almost the sad part of it It's why But again it's no one would do comedy For A fucking

full year straight if you like what you would gauge to be killing right was not what you were doing in the beginning right because like you can the idea is like you can get what did you would said that to me someone gave me like advice a long time ago it might have been patrice oh was patrice had said that he goes how many people stop at learning how to kill right and that's not really the tell right right right at all it's like obviously you want to kill but it's like can you kill and then have everybody else who can kill see you uniquely like, oh, wow, he kills and he's doing it like that's something

like kind of interesting what he's doing or just different or his own thing, whatever it is, is very interesting. We could all, in the beginning, you have all the things, we did all of them. I look like so and so and so, you ever see someone with the dick looks like this? And it looks like, and this is how I fuck

against a stool and all those things. I'm half Cherokee, half German. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. You know, you need your first, year comedy thing to go well but then you have to abandon it you also shouldn't be 17 years in the comedy and being like so I'm half Polish and half Italian which means my thanksgivings are a little you're like please dude stop everyone you know you know all the fucking

some people outside of the Irish are outside fighting and all the Polish side of the family's inside trying to figure out of change the label thank you thank you especially Jacob thank you individually for laughing at that evil jacob even likes evil jacob likes an easy one also doesn't always have to be dick and balls for this guy i really it's so funny to get past all those things but there's no reason to sometimes if like you get addicted to that killing if you're getting yeah you're like how could i try something that might not work now and you're getting booked on shows and that's just absolutely going for laughs i mean no hack works for a reason but it will have eventually fall onto a cruise ship.

Yeah. It only works in certain areas and clubs. I mean, you can't do that here. It is watching people on Facebook. Well, you can't do it here actually now. Yeah, you can. You can, absolutely. The people, the comics that I know from the, when I started out, like that you just followed

on Facebook right away. And I'm following there, I mean, it must be my algorithm because I always look at them, following there, trying to pretend that cruise ship comedy life is a dream. come true, it's very funny to watch. It's like, dude, three meals a day at the old shitty buffet. Like, I can't get late if I wanted to

because if I go to someone's room, I'm in trouble. There's so many, like, stringent rules. I get to leave the boat from noon to three. Yeah. In a third world country where I'm constantly in danger if I leave the senior frogs.

Bro, I'm out of straw market every weekend. I'm kidding me? I know how to haggle. I get local woodworkings. I've met a few witch doctors that have, I think, my shoulder doesn't feel bad anymore. I think there's some kind of a curse. He shrunk a head or something. A few witch doctor.

Got a few local witch doctors over off the coast of Trinidad Tobago. I got this Dr. Seuss hat. with dreadlocks attached to it? I'm basically tobogginer at this point. I'm honorary toboggan. Also a person who immerses himself in another country, makes me sick to my stomach too. We're like, no, I'm American, but, you know,

I love living in fucking Switzerland. Fuck off. No, you don't. It sucks there to live, for sure. Definitely nobody wants to go to these places. But the cruise ship life, oh man, it's so great. You can catch me on the paradigm. the Carnival Paradise

and then I'm going to something now featuring no black people it gets lonely on that I mean when you're on a festival or something it's fun but when you're like the the comic or like a one of the couple of comics and you're on this thing for like you sign a contract you're on it for months

and stuff I mean it has been and I said and the idea I you can't sleep they forbid you to meet and have sex hook up with people forbidden yeah because they're a lot famously

they're a liability you're a lot Well, famously there was a comic, famously there was a comic who was, when they saw in the video that he went from a hallway into a room, and then he was helicoptered off of the plane back to land. Oh, my God. Because you aren't immediately a liability, I guess, yeah, yeah. Wow. And let me tell her what me and Christine looked at on the impractal jokers cruise. The chartered cruises, you see, could fuck anybody you want. And there was a couple of loose wild sluts on the impractical jokers.

screws believe it or not i was gonna say there's like 15 comics or 20 comics on every time we do it we've done six of them i think and i know for a fact so many comics have hooked up with people on that thing oh yeah yeah yeah no it's definitely they come to party on the impractal joker's but that was my still my favorite dude because christine had to really do christine that was her first taste did you guys hook up yeah yeah it was christine's first taste of in the afternoon in the afternoon oh a little afternoon delight it was crazy wow she came up very aggressive cute girl um great body we went but she came back the room and christine for the first time in her life i thought the boat was a rock and it was thank god no one came knocking you would have walked

into some weird shit but they uh the girl before we got to hook up with her i just kept looking and like biting my lip laughing at christine because this girl on i think she brought an ipad to show us all of her local hip-hop music video dancing that she does for local hip-hop guys. It's terrific. And I go, and Christine's going like, I don't have to go into the bathroom, whatever, and she was like, I can't look

at any more of these pictures. I go, this is what hooking up is. You have to be nice to this girl and let her think you give a fuck about her stupid local rap dancing and tell her she's really good at. You have to lay foundation. It's quick dry science. But you've got to lay it. You've got to lay it. You've got to give her

10 minutes of. You're very talented. Christine's out there with the thing Just smooth the middle of it Yeah, yeah Like Christine, Christine Just pour it Let's go And this is you too

And this is another rap video Yeah, yeah Wow Christine, you can see her face You're starting to shake And go like I'm a girl Why do I have to do this part

And I'm like well Because in this scenario She's the girl And we are the communal guy in some weird way And you have to do All the guy stuff Sit there and say

This is great You really hit those moves You really? Can you actually? I would, I'd love you to teach me, but I couldn't even possibly run these moves. You're really good. You're really, really good. That first hour flew by quick, huh?

Some of my bitch. Well, it's always so good to talk to Sal. Sal Volcano is currently on tour through 2026. He never stops. He's going to be at the Chicago Theater November 14th. The Beacon Theater in New York City, December 27th. Am I home for that? Please.

I hope you are. please please i worry i worry christine are you double checking my calendar i'm looking at christine go through my calendar right now and see uh well that i don't know that's that that so maybe yeah all right well i hope so i want to go to that i want you to be home for that christian you can go either way please come yeah oh i'd love to find that that christine can't come unless i go I can go And then for tickets and all of us tour dates Go to Salvolcanocomedy.com.

And his new podcast, season one of new 10-episode talk show, Minouche premieres in the fall on Sal Volcano official YouTube channel. What's that? What's the new podcast going to be? It's short for minutia. It's a ridiculous thing. It's like half talking, half sketch,

and it goes in and out. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's been fun. I've filmed a few episodes so far, and I'm going to do them in, like, 10-episode batches and put them out at one time. Because I can't, like, I'm just too busy right now to do it every single week.

That's why I want to hiatus with the other ones. But I wanted to do something where, like, I didn't have a co-host so I could film them when I'm available, because my schedule is something. What ever gets you away from Joe de Rosa? I know, the ultimate goal. I miss doing it with him so much. The ultimate goal was that.

But it's good. It's called minutia. It's going to be really, really fun. It's like, it's short. It's only, like, 30, 40 minutes, and then we're going to break it up, put them all online. It's all like clips and stuff. It's going to be good.

We've got to figure all this stuff. We're old men. So we've got to figure this stuff. I'm doing live streaming now a little bit. Oh, yeah? Where I'm just going through my algorithm on YouTube and just sitting there for hours. No, it doesn't matter how much you tell people that not tip. It's not necessary to tip.

They just do anyway. I live stream once on TikTok and I didn't even know about tipping. And when I was done it, I had all this money and I still never cashed it out. Yeah, I haven't cashed out yet, but I said what I'm going to do is we were watching a true crime thing. And while they were questioning this woman about her. I don't know, the violence that she's done or was done against her. All I kept noticing was they had a beautiful house,

but the only picture hanging on the wall was a photograph of Tina Turner and Mick Jagger together. No rationale for it, no nothing. He didn't take the picture of the guy. It wasn't anything. And then we looked it up. It's a picture you can buy. It costs $800 framed.

And the people, so we're going to use what the people sent to just buy it, and that's going to be the background of my background. is going to be a picture of Tina Turner and Mick Jagger for $800. Jesus Christ, why $800? I don't know why it cost that much, but they just kept giving money. So I was like, well, money used it for something stupid then. This is dumb.

You don't have to keep sending money. It's fine. I'm like, buy tickets to my shows. Don't send me $50. Go buy two tickets to my show. Right, right. But it's been fun. And, of course, season 12, still airing every Thursday, 10 p.m. on TBS.

And, you know, you told me, you go, if you have YouTube TV, you can, DVR it was already being done. Just how good of a friend I am I wanted you to know. New season's been fucking hilarious, man. Thank you, buddy, thank you. So funny. So yeah, I hope it keeps going. How many more episodes this season? To air? I know it's so funny because you're still

filming. Yeah, yeah. It's airing. Yeah. I think there's one or two before they do a little break and then there's another nine from season 12 to still come out. Nice. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. I've been every Thursday at 10 p.m. on TBS Yes, and we'll be right back, everybody. Where am I going to be this weekend?

Stress Factory, New Jersey. Come out. Don't fuck up. You have to change that I'm going to be the stress factory? I have to change it. You're not that you're at the gathering of the jugglers. I mean, emotionally, I'm still at the gathering the jugglers. Emotionally, I haven't left yet.

I'm still in that fucking feel with those clowns. I'll tell you more about it. Maybe I come see you this weekend and I hang out if I can get away. Please. Yes, absolutely do. We'll be right back, everyone. It's the bonfire.