The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Alright, Lady.

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

Jay deals with an aggressive pornstar down at The SDR Show and Dan talks about living with a Himbo!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey guys, real quick, we're going to let you know that me and Dan Soder are all over the place on the road. Make sure you check us out. Dan's going to be performing this weekend in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. It's August 18th through the 20th. After that, he's going to be in Tulso, Oklahoma, one night at a comedy festival. Get tickets for that right now and all of his other tour dates at dansoder.com. Omaha, Nebraska, this Friday and Saturday. make sure you go check out big J.

Oakerson at the funny bone. Again, that's this Friday, August 19th and Saturday, the 20th. After that, he'll become a Tampa, Maryland, Columbus and more for tickets and all other tour dates. Go to bigjcomedy.com. Also, if you hit over to series xm.com slash bonfire. Yes. Yay. Also, if you hit over to seriesxM.com slash bonfire. Yes. Yay!

We're offering a special offer right now of offering three months for free offer. I like to say offer a lot. What an offer! And now, the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Did you see the new app that Black Lou sent? The new app? What is that? The new dating app.

Is it Kevin Hart's delivery of the best G-State and photo? Kevin Hart's pussy. It's called the right stuff. And it's only for people who identify as men and women. Okay. It's a conservative dating app. Damn dude, I bet choke sex is skyrocketing on that thing. and women. Okay. Oh, it's a conservative dating app. Damn, dude.

I bet choke sex is skyrocketing on that thing. But you only find out on the third date. Wait. So are you going to choke me or what? The fuck are we doing? I hate that it gets grouped because it's for people who aren't offended by anything. You're like, oh, cool.

And it's like developed by three Trump admins. You're like, great. Oh, man. I bet, though, you fucking the first day, I bet it's got same numbers like Tinder though. Tell you what? For fucking on the first date. Better not come in the right. The right not coming them because they ain't going to be a fucking, they're in an abortion

in the future. I know. But the right wing are the Lucy Goosey people now, man. I think they do more like what do you mean? They're like they're they're not the ones screaming out about being offended anymore It's like the other side's crazy. Yeah, it's the switch around and that crazy our whole life It was always like conservative Yeah, the town shut up and there but it's like it's like Marilyn Manson was like hated by the church

Now he's hated by like women across the board. Yeah, there's the switching thing It's like it's like Marilyn Manson was like hated by the church. Now he's hated by like women across the board. Yeah, there's the switching thing It's all fucked. It's all weird, but a straight dating app Where you have to identify Do you use that what it is? Yeah, you have to say man or woman. Oh, it's only one or the other. Yeah I like it. Sign me up for six months Chris. Then you have to be fiscally conservative. That's what people don't realize. It's not socially conservative. Could be socially liberal. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. In fact, they're encouraging it, but they really are against your spending going all over the place. Oh, thank God. I really need you to send a checkbook. What's it? What

happens if they do find out you're like by-servative you're into You can't lie how do they test this? I guess it's on our system probably with the They have like they have like a they have a Reagan questionnaire and you have to go through it And they're like who's the best Ronald Reagan? Why yeah, he's the best or it's all these questions and they were like how much do you love pussy like so much? Who's hot or Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt? Yeah, he's the best or it's all these questions and they were like how much you love pussy like so much Who's hot or Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt? Yeah shit? No, oh fuck oh fuck God damn it get at it. Are you fruit? Is it only for straight people? Or just people who identify man woman? I think it's just people who identify man women, but honestly, you're not gonna be on there

if you're not straight, specifically. You don't wanna go on there and get that smile. I bet, dude, if you're gay and you go on that app, you're getting a lot of boys in the closet. I wonder if you're getting a lot of bathroom stall. Yeah, but some of that love straight boys in the closet. That's like their thing. I mean, we need a lot of... It's like their thing. I mean we say

Yeah, let's go Kristina you think we could rock a threesome off this site I'm gonna pull a fucking cover. Are you guys going? I forgot that you guys look for stuff like mining. Like, you guys are like people who buy mines. You're like, can we get anything out of this? Well, I told you. I told you last week, right? Or did I?

No. Because it was Wednesday. Oh, no, you naughty minks. I didn't tell you. But so you know the girl who I had to say. Is this another salacious story? No. Is this another tale of eroticism?

Do you remember a Patents and and Claire is the girl when we Yeah, you were talking about when you left That but I don't know how the episode went. Oh that she was doing it. Yeah, it was you guys You guys were looking at your but holes and Patent and Sinclair And then she texted you so she texted you something before the show that was like I'm gonna get a bagging nuts Or something like that. She texted you something before the show that was like, I'm gonna get a bag of nuts or something like that. She texted you something before the show. Maybe.

Oh, I think it was Laney was like, don't bring up the straw. Yes, that's what it was. Don't bring up the straw in the butt thing where she farted out shit water out of the straw. She, now I haven't seen this girl. I haven't seen this girl since quarantine. Yeah.

That was years ago. And I haven't seen her. Yeah, we did that like 2019. Yeah, so I haven't seen her in a couple years in the quarantine, so she comes down lit as always. Yeah, when I met her, she was sitting on snow bear cheeked with the drunk she was. I was like, you should probably not do that. And she was like, it feels good.

What do you know? Shout out square dickhead. Okay. So she's a fucking. We have dogs. Sir, we have loser. You can't be all about the dog. Here we brought dog. Dogging in my girlfriends.

And Chris. Only what a dog knows does around super slutty pussy. Well, she was playing with her. Then she bit. She was. No, yeah, yeah, she gave her ribs. No, she was on all fours on the ground playing with Dawkins, which was weird. Well, she had like a little stuffed animal key chain on her purse.

And Dawkins was going at it and we're like, oh, no, don't. And she ended up ripping it off her purse to give it to Dawkins. And then she was playing with it like she was on all fours with part of it in her mouth. Playing with Dawkins like a dog. Then my friends got a great playing with it. Like she was on all fours with part of it. And her mouth playing with Dawkins like a dog. Then my friends got a great picture of it. Then just goes, she's on the ground. She goes, she goes, boy, I'm sweating like an N word at a picnic or something.

And I was like, excuse me. It was so It's so fun. What I love about the story is she's a gas digital Where if you tell anybody the story they're like pull isn't at the place where that happens it's not though Yeah, it's not you know, I'm saying it's like you're arguing that because like it's been said in the thing But you're talking about people joking for it this shocked Eight people that were outside like you Lady what the fuck yeah, she leaned into it like a drunk uncle

And then I go I go all right and everyone's got I don't know you know everyone I was like whoa all right pain like I didn't really she got Racist over the thing and then someone who didn't hear was like what what did she say she repeats it again racist over the thing and then someone who didn't hear was like, what did she say? She repeats it again. So I'm like, what happened? And she was like, oh yeah, over the quarantine, I just like, but she has a tattoo that says Trump can grab this pussy or something like that. No, this pussy, this pussy grabs back, but she means it, like, let's go, Trump grabbed

my pussy so I can grab it's wild. So I'm actually happy promoting this, listen to the episode because she goes through a weird thing. And then I said before I go, or before we went inside, I was like, Peyton, it's kind of weird, like since I pretty sure you do exclusively interracial pornography. And she was like, yeah, it's work. I know, but I feel like I can't even do any more because I'm like faking it or whatever like that. And I go, yeah, but I watched you go off with Mo the monster for not a film shoot. You guys write an SDR show together

and you took him into a bathroom and sucked his dick in a bathroom. She's like, oh, I know, he's like so ignorant. It's this. What? But Payton Sinclair telling you that black people are dumb is one of the funniest things I've ever got to witness in my life So then I go inside to Ralph look at her look at her. Yeah, that's what he wants and now where a dog leash and get mouth fuck by a black guy And then could I do something so if I had to do that I wouldn't like black guys either

If I was wearing a leash and getting skull fuck by a black cock it might change my opinion also can someone set the time on that stove So I go inside and before to start show I go oh Ralph this might be a pretty exciting show Because I go paint now sides at it nowhere just goes like oh man I'm I'm sweating like an inward at a picnic whatever it was and He goes I know she already said it to me too. It's I don't know. He's like yeah over the quarantine She got all again and stuff so then I set next to her on the show and I just kept feeding her Like stuff against Ralph like I guess kept saying Ralph and like it's Ralph

You know Ralph voted for Biden three times in different states Like stuff against Ralph, like I guess kept saying Ralph, I'm like, it's a Ralph. You know Ralph voted for Biden three times in different states. And she'd be like, shut the fuck up Ralph, did you? And I was like, yeah, I go, this asshole thinks you should be able to fucking have abortions if you want. Like come on, we all know conception starts to thinking about fucking. She's like, right? She just kept, I mean, so much so.

And I am being very obviously Playkating and she has since sent me two times things of like like memes I'm just look at this shit. It's like why Trump rules stuff or some Biden is dumb thing But that's I just said they're going Ralph, how dare you do what's wrong with you? I also like, God, pain, nobody respects your opinion on anything. Dude, it was wild. I couldn't buy shit out of the, that was nuts. I mean, I can't tell you.

That was a real fucking, that was like when they, when Edward Norton took off his thing, the show is swastik tattoo and jail. Welcome. No, never know. Oh, yeah, I remember he's like, guys, we'll throw up a flag and he takes it off to let everybody know like, I'm a Nazi, the Nazis will come to me. Welcome, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I couldn't, I was so blown away by the brazenness of it. When back in 2019, when I did the SDR show with you, I felt afterwards, I felt bad for how quickly I judged her because I was like, immediately like, oh, this person's an idiot and she was drunk and just sitting there and I felt like legitimately like, she probably went to trauma, you know,

a lot of a judge or probably probably but the only way I can describe Reading her intelligence was like when the predator doesn't pick up heat on a person. Yes So like all the orange all the orange, like, I'm like, what I'm scanning people. She's covered in blood. Yeah, dude. She's covered in cold blood. She took that fucking, she took the fucking, whatever the plant is and pray that they eat

that colds are blood. She has that for her brain, where I was just like, there's nothing there. It's really, she's always fucked up to the point where I was like, dude, if Peyton ever gets sober, like she's probably, she might have a thing where she's like really maybe a shame to ball Who knows? I'll just get what cases on everybody bonkers body. She's got bonkers body. She's got new tits

Which kind of they're like yeah? I mean, I'm you're looking at her body and I'm like damn you're like so hot So and she's just what a night by really believe that she's just like a problem drunk drug addict That's what like after this we haven't gotten to what happened But what you guys haven't gotten to what happened? I thought that was what the whole thing was the that's crazy That's the appetizer. What do you mean what happened? Well, she did the Ralph? I think black Lew and I were like, and that's the story. And then when Christine goes, you didn't even get to what happened.

We're both like, the moment's up, right? You could find the moment somewhere. Yeah. So before you show, is it when you posted on social media? Yeah. Why am I talking like a fucking old man social media when you did on your Insta stories? Yes.

And you're like, this is the craziest moment in SDR history. Yes. Funniest. Funniest moment. Horrible. Funny. So the show, the topic of the show was, we were me and Ralph were having a butthole beauty contest. Which you told me before you told us,

before we left, you were going to have a couple gay men look at your buttholes and tell you and Peyton Sinclair and tell you who's got the weirdest butthole. It best but hole but most beautiful. I want I want Immaculate care of it. I do they said I had a roi though, which I was unaware of you got a little fucking ass great I've been taking care of it if I do push it back in no if I do I've been doing the stuff whatever's supposed to do so But we were having the content so Ralph lost and we were like, oh, like Ralph, like there was an punishment at all,

like who cares, it was just whoever won. And then jokingly, she was like, what's the punishment? We got to do the punishment. I go, oh yeah, so she pulls out. This was punishment, I thought this was just the inspection of it. Like I thought when she, oh. Now the inspection she already did. She licked both of our buttholes.

It was odd, but did feel good. What did she pull full? Can I ask how she licked it? She spread our cheeks. She spread our cheeks. Or did she do like a... No, like a tongue... Like a dark.

Like a tongue dart. So she went like... Oh, no, no. Not like a... Yeah, she tongue darted it. No, it no she darted in I don't know she did the raffle I shouldn't speak at a school for me for me did you go I do the fucking strike no I think she touched her tongue to it uh

darted her tongue a few times awesome but uh... then who did she live first good what was the time period in between but hall leggings four swallows now i don't know did she list reen

uh... did the differ tongue in the minute you know she didn't list reen i'm in a different my next question. Did you list her in between? Dude, don't even worry about that. This is going, that'll be the last question you ask here.

Okay. Okay. I took a reaction. Okay. So then she goes, oh Ralph, you lost like what's the, we got to do the punishment. So she pulls out one of those small-ish but metal butt plugs and She goes over and she I Guess put Lou ball over it and she's playfully like reaching down like try to go down Ralph's like pants

Actually, she's gonna put it in his butt and Ralph's kind of like fighting her off and he's like no, no, no He's like come on come on stop stop stop no no no no and She put it like in his butt crack and he said she cocked back and just wailed it with her hand and did you see Ralph go? I was left already because he's like he's like stop stop. Come on come on. Oh Do he so not happy He goes oh all right stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. He gets so serious He's not happy at all. She's he's furious. He's furious. Like it's not funny. Oh my girl. That's the good though. He's been running, huh? He looks

fantastic. His body's together. But I'm tired. Dude, that is crant. It's all the way up his ass. Yeah, she just shoved it in. She had to put it out to break the tension of the awkwardness. She then starts sucking on the butt, blood, a bunch. So Jacob the answer is, yes, she wins the mouth out. My question. With more duty, with more duty fragments. If it's got duty on it and Loub, does she kiss my eye and gave me pink eye. Oh my god. Oh, I was like, Jesus Christ, Jason. Kiss my eye with that duchy mouth.

Kiss your... Does she... Does the taste of Loub not bother her? Do you think that's the issue? No, but like, I know poop. She's fine sucking ass. Yeah, she's fine with ass, but Loub. But I'm saying like, when...

Oh, that Loub was rubbed off on Ralph's tight shitter, my guess. Yeah, Ralph's not like a finger in the ass guy or anything. It's not his deal. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. You don't have the footage of it? I can get it. Get it. It's so because you want to see him go.

He gets so serious. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's so upset. And shit like, that's what we do, big boy. I was so, the election was stolen stone I think like I have a come on Is that that oh yeah, I started to stop the steel chance several times also locker up check Killery did Benghazi you guys want me to suck this asshole or not Also if you look at it Trump redid the nafted deal.

No, you were looking, when you're hanging out with a girl who's fisting her own asshole and you look next to her pussy and you go, you have a political tattoo? Yeah, I'm sorry, I just feel like our democracy is at stake. It's so fucking weird. So weird, she just did a hard turn from Jersey. Like she's like,

Yeah. Interracial point, who cares? I'm just saying like, it's just a weird that she goes, I became, here's, I'm, I'm sorry that she's not racist. I don't argue she's not racist at all. I think she's an idiot. Do you get what I'm saying? I think someone got her goosed up on something.

Do you get what I'm saying? I think you are raised on racism or something genuinely happens to you that makes you go that direct. Do you get them saying? I think she was just like in the mix of something where these people were like, right, and this is why I think suck,

and this is why you're not ahead. It's like propaganda shit. It's like when a woman who doesn't know sports, she cheers on a team for her boyfriend. It doesn't really have any idea what's going on. We love the Vikings. Yeah, I think she's like, we're racist now. We were, someone told me we're racist now. So it opened up.

I get to say the N word pretty aggressively, but she just does interracial. Oh man, those eyelashes are hilarious. Oh buddy. They are hilarious. They're the lamb chop. Dude, they're so ridiculous. It was like sock puppets. Yeah, dude. They are hilarious. Those are the lamb chop dude. They're so It was like soft puppets. Yeah, it's insane Black Lula. Would you still?

Absolutely. Yeah, teacher a lesson. Yeah, that's that dump her If I tell you what though, it will I But then you have to have a 30-minute car ride with her Yes Hold on, but then you have to have a 30-minute car ride with her. Yes. I think I could jerk off to her getting fucked by black eyes though now. That's pretty cool. I think I could definitely jack to that because I'm like, You already have. To her?

Yeah, at some point you had to, if we've known her for a better time. She is. I've looked at her stuff for, but she has a weirdly for free at least low catalog of material. Yeah. Paywall, baby. Maybe. Get behind the paywall.

Almost everybody else we've like talked to. I can find a decent amount of stuff, but then sometimes talking to them, does the opposite. I always think that's what will make me be able to jerk off to them, not Helena Price. I talked to her and she's still, I think it's probably the woman I masturbate most to in the world besides Christine. Oh, like that. That's a dude game. I was like, well, so smooth.

Helena Price. Fucking. That's the gang band queen. Yeah. Regular looking girl. Just great. Did she lose? Yeah.

Why you just love her love of the game? Why you just love her love of the game? Yep. I love her love of the game. She plays it with a passion that you respect. She really, some girl does that too, but some girl is gonna like, I didn't know you're still keeping up with some girl. I forgot she existed.

She's on Twitter, so I see her Twitter when I go to Twitter. Oh, she's okay. I'm telling you, her ass hole's gonna fall out of her body. Oh. These videos, she's doing whether hole's gonna fall out of her body. These videos, she's doing whether she's being paid or not or the things bullshit or it's not bullshit. She's getting fucking, I mean, it's like four dudes take and turn and she's like, now her video's saying things

like I never tap out and you're like, yo, it's crazy, what's that? It's tap out for your own body. Your elasticity on your body, your body. It's okay, you bring a whole ain't a price Helena price Christine is that what you went to go do? You want to go look at your masturbation competition? Is this route. Oh, yeah play this with all you Chris Faggot

Chris from Brooklyn She's close to the camera even yeah Look so he doesn't know what she's gonna do. Get out of here, you ghoul. And then he realizes it. The worst is gonna feel. I hate everything about that. Alright, and-

Oh, I'm a spiss first. I- I- I- I- I- I saw something huge. I saw something huge. No, I saw that. I saw that. I'm not doing that. What? I know fucking well.

There's no way that's going to happen. There's no way. I saw that. We're starting to know fucking wait. There's no way that's going to be about there's no way What I saw that we started to come what a bet well This is the end of the SDR show last Is it in no wait she just like that stop stop stop stop stop stop That's how I would if you could describe her life. I would tell you right now I'd like her with her feet in the air laughing like that is probably like you know that laugh when drunk people are like Go back to it going that change

He goes oh Is so funny oh Oh Go back to it happening he I mean Oh, oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no No, wait, she's gonna die. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. By the way, you can go back just a couple of seconds because you see her, you don't see her band back, you just see the hands and it goes, he goes, oh, one second. Oh, oh, oh, wait, one second.

Whoa, wait, it's the one, wait. Give it to me again, don't go back so far. Yeah, just go back like a couple of seconds. Hey, I don't know, no, because they're still face forward. No, yeah, that's him, that's him sitting down, yeah. Yeah, right there. No, yeah, that's him that's him sitting down. Yeah, yeah right there Is it in no wait she just like that stops up stop stop stop stop no What happened? Well, we're not in there. What and then her trying to try to put her tits in your face

You're like get out of here. You fucking hell. She has no what to do. Then she sits down and pulls her titties out and just sits there with her titties out because she doesn't know what to do. She's rouse. So, actually, it was a night of a few things. I reprimanded her earlier in the night because she was.

Isn't that crazy? That's so interesting to watch her try to be sexy and it get completely shut down Oh, yeah, she reacts to that. It's very interesting. Well, buddy She did because she tried like straddling him for you. You can't see it obviously go to gas digital network dot-con watch episode But she straddles him to be like baby. I'm sexy and he's like dude You just shove something up my ass get the fuck away from me and she's like I Watch him call it I yelled at her early in the episode. Not even yelled at her, it was the wrong thing,

but she hit me in the face. She's like, she being playful, but like slapped me in the face or something. Hit me in the face, I was like, yeah, apologize into the microphone right now. Say you'll never do that again and don't fucking ever do that again. She was like, I'm very sorry, I won't do that again.

I go, yeah, that's fucking, don't be angry. It seems funny as naturally getting out of two with Ralph because she has in her mouth and she's like, I'm very sorry, I won't do that again. I go, yeah, that's fucking don't be. It seems funny, it's actually getting out of two with Ralph because she has in her mouth and she's like, it's not even that big of a deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what? Oh boy. Well, good to know a guest we'll never have on here.

Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know. Oh, damn. She irks me in a way where I'm like, what if we do a documentary where Black Lou brings her back? He brings her back in and he's like, hey, come on. Let's set up a situation where Dan, you're gonna kill her. No, I didn't.

And then Black Lou saves you. It's one of those boys. I'll avoid her. I'm saying Black Lou will save her. That's exactly it. I'm just cool never seeing her ever again. Just sucking on Ralph's butt juice. Dan, she says.

She says. She says, snuggled up next to Jay. Well, because you know why. Yes, she's trying to like, because Ralph's mad at her. Yeah, but she was snuggled up before. I've got mad at her. Because Jay yelled at her.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So now you're her master. Yeah, master. Now I own her. Anyway, I own this bitch. So, and you guys want to plow her? I can make that happen DJ Lilian

Dude, what if he's like DJ Lou shut the fuck up. This would be your dream girl when you were in your 20s and 30s I don't know. Yes, she's annoying, but that usually doesn't stop me But I you would love this chick you to pay you to put money on her books when she got arrested for small misdemeanors Dude Lou coming in and being like guys. I know you said you don't like it, but she's delight in my life. Bringing it to Bob Acue, black Lou. If you can just suck it up for the night, she's gonna say some pretty wild racist shit.

She's got some ideas that I do not agree with, nor does Will. The fact that she'll just ramp something up your ass at any time, Willie Nill. What a wild card, dude. You take her into the house and you're just basically bringing in some surprises.

I like living on the edge like that. Yeah, see how's your Monday? You go, honestly, I'm doing great. Next thing I know, I catch a hockey stick across the chops because Peyton thought it would be funny. Now, is it Kato, like the green hornet? Yeah. His house, it was like a helper, because this is what always attack him. Kato would fight the green hornet? Yeah his house I was like a helper. Yeah, Kato would fight the green hornet. He just started fighting him right? Yeah, I mean

I don't know the TV show that was in the Seth Rogen movie, right? Was it I mean the TV show what is the show was? Partner yeah, but it wasn't it was it who was a pink panther somebody had a thing like in their house like their They mocked it on on was a pink panther? Somebody had a thing like in their house, like they're, they mocked it on a, was a Keanu. Now there was some movie that they just, like, they mocked it. We're like, Keegan Michael Key with somebody's, like housekeeper and attack them constantly.

Oh, I know what it was. It was the movie with where James Franco was rich. He was like a rich like fucking douchebaggy like.com guy. Yeah. And his girlfriend's parents were coming to meet him. Oh isn't it with breaking bad? What's his name? Brian Kranson. Yeah isn't it the two of them? Oh yeah yeah yeah. It is. Yeah. There's funny. His housekeeper keeps coming out. He just comes out to fight him. But it's something like that. Yeah. I figured what the original point was. Where's the end that could be Lou and Peyton? Oh yes, constantly attacking.

Oh man, poor Ralph. Up the butt, vice prize. He was, I mean essentially, that's probably punishable by law. You can't just frame something up someone's ass. Forced, saw to me? Yeah. Lou, would you take a butt plug to be with her?

Singaloo. No, no ass play at all, please. Really? Pornstar though. Doesn't help me. Yeah, I agree with you. Then you can go jerk off to a porn slater know that you also fucked her

and for the small price of a small metal ball up your ass. Hmm. I don't like it. Man. Alright, we're gonna give Ralph's sweet tender ass a break here and we're gonna give you a break. We'll be right back everyone. It's the bonfire.

And now, back to the bonfire with Big J. O'Courson and Dan Soder. Oh, I think I'm... You see, she... Free-down! Oh, free-down! Welcome back to the Bond Fire, SiriusXM Faction Talk 103, I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J.O.Kerson. I must be a fucking creep. You're freaky-dicky, dude. You're freaky-dicky J.

Like, there's a girl that, if she goes, put this little ball up your ass and I'll do I go I'll pop it in my ass for a second I mean I'm not fucking with it in there if it was like select your character menu you know what I mean and I went to yours your bar of Freakiness would be filled all the way like dude he's got high freak for this guy big power high thing speed down speed down but big Freak big power not much of a jumper yeah my my I would be I don't know voices Would be turned all the way up impressions minds freaky deep. It was just freaky. Deaky mines No, I don't want to put a small I keep saying word small metal butt plug up my ass

But if that's what's slowing things down to a halt to get paint. What's the lady's name? Payton's in Claire. No, the one that you jerk off to the most. Helena Price. Yeah. Second to Christina, obviously. I don't know. I mean, if she walked in and just put it down on the ground, I was like, put it on the table. I was like, this up your butt, here's a bottle of lube. It doesn't seem like her. She goes, J, I got a lot of guys to fuck.

And I got very little time. It doesn't sound like Helena to me. Am I crazy? Was she on SDR? No, I had her on my, remember I had the only fans thing I was doing for men? Yeah, I remember that. During the quarantine.

Yeah, Louis signed you guys all up for only fans. Yeah, we had to be only fans. It's his Lewis came in. It was like different direction for Skate. We're going only fans. He also came that was the funniest when he came. He goes, guys, it's a bajillion dollars each. And he said his all texts and we were like, shut the fuck up. We're like, yo, we're shit's about to change. And he's like, that was way wrong. And then he said their actual number that you were like, I would have said yes to this

in the beginning also, it's still good. But now I know. But it's good and I'm telling you, it's a fourth. It's good money and a fourth of what we were told. That's funny. That's real. I love when Lewis comes back on stuff. Like when we were in North Carolina

doing that show together and Lewis's boy who's the one that put it all together is like got us we drove through the night. It was a nine hour drive you drove the whole time we drove down that was Lewis walking in the hotel you look like a drown right yeah and then Lewis is like I got my boy got us three rooms I go in my room don't even unpack I kick off my shoes and my socks, climb into bed, fall into the deepest sleep, and then Lewis is just pounding on the door and he goes, screwed up, there's no my two rooms, so I'm rooming with you.

Jack gets his own room, and then Lewis came in and started Lewis' thing around the room, just throwing all those clothes and doing stuff. I have to call him yell at Martin. Yeah, that's exactly it. Why are they fucking me over at Eastville? I gotta call on yell at Martin. I gotta scream at Martin for a little bit. Marin! Sports, something's spart, Marin! Dude, that's entirely what it was.

It was just like, oh, Jesus. Dude, I used to bring Louis when he would go on the road when he was running street teams. Yeah. And that was the best, because he wakes up early. Oh, he's his whole life. Yeah, he's there on the street. He's there on the horizon. You're sleeping cuz I fell asleep at 4 in the morning

Lewis fell asleep earlier and it's 7am when he's up going to go you got to be at the fucking mall What was the point of gets the printer and print the tickets? Like you know dude Early risers when your friends with one. It's crazy because most of people I know sleep in oh I mean for sure, but I know go to bed it around me and Dave were fine in the same room for that two in that regard three Those surprise Lewis has such a morning schedule. Yeah, hustler. He does. You really is a hustler. It's too many hours of the day I just like the night more You love the nightlife. I live that for the more. You love the nightlife. I live for the night.

You love to be on the disk on. Yeah. Take a side here. He's having a midday fucking bowl of soup. That's my own. Lizard's got him. Yeah. He had to go out and feed the lizards. Come to me. I'm your lizard king. I can do anything. One of my friends that was staying with me like her routine was like she'd wake up in the morning and immediately like take a shower and get dressed for the day.

And I was like, that's so weird. I'm like, I stay in like a lounge clothes. And I was like, that's my thing also. So me and her would shower together. But just for like, it doesn't make sense to take up too bad for her. Don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, I should have freaked Christine's friends out by being a swingery

Open robes and big oh sorry ladies little guy almost escaped I don't know any who you guys party in the night What's up? You guys live lifestyle out in soke Didn't I'm going to Phoenix this weekend where I think the lifestyle thrives. Oh, yeah desert lifestyle Yeah, Arizona love to swap. Hands of Chalices within ground pools. Yeah, do you purple with purple lights around it? No doubt. Yeah.

That's a old stop and shop and share kind of place. Yeah, if you're a swinger and fight them back to your joint afterwards. No, no, just invite them. It thought you want to be invited. You don't want to go to the party, it was nice to be invited. That would be nice.

Yeah, it's very nice. Hey, would you like to watch many men have my wife with me tonight? No, but like, thank you for the offer. I'm gonna go play PlayStation Remote in my room. I just broke my own heart, because man, where's anyone offering me that? I would go watch an orgy in a fucking heartbeat.

I'm not gonna take part in an orgy, guys. But you're recording a podcast during it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I didn't bring my zoom. You got a zoom? I'm not a take part in orgy guy, but you're record a podcast during it. I didn't bring my zoom. Yeah, do you got a zoom? I don't know. I got an h4 with four mics. Yeah.

And that's, that's not even a gangbang. This is an mmMF. I'd absolutely. Yeah. I'd watch a couple of fuck before I got into it. Yeah, I see this before I fucked in front of what if the girl was like really hot You guys had that really hot couple in Austin that tried to bang you guys remember that Yeah, and I just like get going run away. Yeah, that's a bonfire. They're like Christine's got like they should

Everyone sees Yeah, cuz they like shook my hand and they're like they're like we love the bonfire And I was like nice to meet you and then they went to Jay and they're like nice to meet you know my hand and they're like, they're like, we love the bonfire and I was like, nice to meet you. And then they went to Jay and they're like, nice to meet you. You know my wife and I would love the view in Christine and there was a sow. They gave their number right down the barrel that I watched YouTube be like,

just a little bit. Now that chick was hot, I was right away. I'm like, so I mean, like, I guess I could probably deal with you fucking this guy and handsome. It's a big dude. And then she's like, how everyone just saw him.

Like, here I it's stupid. So stupid, but God she was hot. She was, right? She was really hot. Not a couple. Yeah, they were both good looking. Very flattering. Yeah, they were a very hot couple and they fucking came.

They took the fight to you. I've never seen that before in all the years of doing live bonfires. Why wouldn't you guys just fucking front of me in Christine? Yeah. They just walked up to the top. And she's. Yeah, I'm like, I'll watch that. I can't be watched fucking I mean that story if I told that here in a while the Lewis and Dave And I'm me sharing a room and I hooked up. No, dude. So funny. So this girl

I'll go with before came to a show., they even lose with me on the road somewhere. And maybe like Mohican son or something that first opened, early days Mohican son. And I brought this girl, came back to the room, and I was like, she wanted to hook up. So I said to the guys, we only had one room. So I was like, go like like cookie amble or something for like 20 minutes, you know, I mean, I'm like just girls gonna leave soon and

They're like yay, okay, so you know, I hear the door close and then me and her start fucking off at one point behind her and I'm I'm fucking yeah And I'm fucking. Yeah. I'm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

Oh fuck. I'm fucking the way you fuck when you fuck. Oh, I was just going to talk to myself when I eat. But eating something delicious and I don't know the rest. But it is. You know, buffalo sauce. This is being a fucking razor. Yeah, exactly.

Oh my god. She does. Fucking dip with the fry in the ranch. I'm eating. This is being a fucking razor. Yeah, exactly The fry in the ranch Yeah, and then if you saw someone stand there going Dan I've been like yeah Katie's got me and I'm like what's up? I'm a man Tayy's gonna eat a little burrito. Yeah, and when you're fucking you're like, yeah, I do like that. I was Just full blown in I know the position now is in which is one of the ones But you do that I'm grabbing hips. Yeah, one foot on the ground. Oh Which I I'm not a good both feet on the ground

So are you giving me up on the better captain Morgan like captain Morgan And that's when you give the biz am I right? And that's when you give the biz, am I right, do you, do you, do you, and you can grab the hips and really Give a wailing range some guts and then turn I look up And I see in that right in front of the door of the hotel room is David Lewis doing the slow motion cheering from the accused when they were raping Jody Foster They're going like yeah

Yeah, And I go And then I'm like and then the girl starts to look up and I like turn around so I kiss and I'm like Get out. Why do you really get soft? Yeah, shut up. Please me And I'm like like And they like and they left like laughing, but like they fucking, what they did, they just, instead of leaving, they went into the bathroom and closed that door like hard. So they just, to do that, they're,

the joke was like, they're gonna pop out, and I'm fucking this girl, which is, it was damn dude, it was so freaky. I was like, ah, we're just seeing people, cause I'm like, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. I'm like, yeah, good, feel good. If you, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just on the head. There he goes. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm like yeah good feel good if you cool

Yeah, you want me to put the homework on your desk. Yeah, I got an apple for teacher Hey, this pussy's cool. They didn't even they didn't see any nudity or anything. It wasn't that it was just They saw your energy. They saw the top of her head and they saw my shirted body. Dude, the thing we've talked about a multiple times, if you could record what you sound like coming, you would never want to play it to your friends. I make the noise of come. Yeah, I go, uh, go. Uh, uh, uh, I go pew pew pew. Pew said an empty pew pew. Yeah.

I think I've ever been walked in on having sex. Huh? I don't think I've ever been walked in on having sex. I have. My other name is on a. Yeah. Who jacked my buddy Chad. Uh, I was hammered.

Met this girl at a house party and we went back to my apartment and I was, they worked with her. That's how I was introduced to her. They like knew her. She was just this red head like, Lisa, we knew you do this, you slut. Yeah. And we were like, guys.

Stop. But dude, she always have to do a damn dance. She was clothed and I was naked. Shut up, dude I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. naked like a cadaver. Yeah, I was standing up and she was on my bed giving me a blowjob and they walked in and Chad and Fujik said it looked like I was doing

stand-up for her naked because they dropped. I dropped by in the bed because they opened the door. They were like partying in our house and the lights were like the above lights was bright and I was like oh, and they said it looked like yeah. If I'm I've never in my life been naked in a room with a fully dressed woman. Well, I have, when I was drunk. Never in a million years, but I'd be, I'm like, all right, naked, like, now I get that blow.

I would assume that's where they're gonna fucking run out with life. I think she was like blowing me, and then she was like, take a shirt off, and then like push my pants down, and I was like, okay, I think it sucks off was like okay, I think I was in my socks. Now you're dicky. But I was like, I was naked and I was like trying to get her pants off or whatever and she was like blowing me so I was like, I was like reaching, she was laying down on the

bed. You're giving like a nice, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was like, your friends walking to your butthole. By the way, I was like, you, you were where the door is at, right? And she was like laying on my bed and I was like, and. By the way, I was like, you were where the door's at, right? And she was like laying on my bed and I was like, and then she gave it, I was like, ah, I dropped. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, man. Ooh. Yeah, but that was, I think that's been the only time I've ever been walking on. And then of course, Vecchione and I shared a wall for, so you heard each other fucking. Seven years. Did you never walk on each other whacking it? Nope.

Did you ever whack it? Did you ever whack it when you, uh, when you knew Mike, like, it was like home. Yeah, it's gotta be tough sometimes. Uh, handsome Pete and Mike would be home. And I would like, I never shut the door to the windowless room. So I'd shut it to whack off and then just open it and they do and they like Steaming up the joint so I showed up it gets hot and there whatever No, that's what I'm doing out also shut the door, but sometimes it would happen when we were the girls would pass out from heat So murky in here, but what would happen sometimes is we would start

hooking up thinking no one was home, cause legitimately we didn't think anyone was home, and then someone would go to the bathroom and be like, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. But the bed was like in the room enough where like, you couldn't see it from the hallway. I can't believe you lived in that room for seven years. Yeah.

Or longer, right? Seven and a half, seven. Seven and a half years. I like moved in in the O7, lived a year there in the windows room, moved to the second room, and then had to move back for six years, six and a half years. You're sucked. And then we had to kick hands and peed out

because I was like, I can't do this anymore. We had this show, by the way. Yeah. It was like a can't do this anymore. We had this show by the way. Yeah, it was Like a season into the show Oh, yeah, yeah, Jacob Sorry, I have to give you credit. Yes, sir. I could not I still can't get it out of my head when you said You initially said that he's in charge of building hotels. Yeah And then you clarified that he's a

virologist. No, no, no architectural engineering skills. I'd write to planning hotels. Shoot, I sort of got he hot guy hotels. That's the greatest hot guy, him boat job of all time. Yeah, you're gonna want the, you want to want the heels sturdy to support a high heel. You also want the floor is nice and there's no grading because these girls are coming in with stiletto. And now he just moved down to South Beach and is doing awesome.

That's just living at him. And that's why he's like your boy is the doll. He's a dolphins fan because he's originally somehow associated with Miami. But he was like now your boy is a coach and you can come down here and go out. All the him bows that I know that are older, because we're all approaching 40, all the hymbeos still do hymbe, amir is a hymbeo.

And they want you to do it. Well, because they want, you know why they want the not as hot, funny friend to be there to make them laugh. I, maybe, I think I might be the kind of stuff that's come out to be. I think sometimes it's like, you don't, this isn't your jam, like you don't want to go to get this awesome fucking dance club. Dude, I told you every time a mirror gets a hold of me, he just goes, he lives in Columbia. And he's like, yeah, I'll come to Medi and he's like, no, why haven't I go to Medi? Yeah, I wasn't yet. Yo, it's sick

down here. Do my favorite hymbo story told me I didn't see it even years ago. And Pennata's a mad ill. Yo, honestly, yo. The alotecai, mad ill, the street corn, bro. Mad ill. What made him go to Columbia? Pussy and money. I don't know. He found a way around something.

The thing that makes everybody go to Miami? He's always been a skimmer. So it was probably a scheme. But he was like, this is maybe six years ago. I think the show was definitely happening, and I think I told the story on the show, but he was like, I was home for Christmas, and he's like, I'm in Colorado.

He called me. It was like, I'm an Aspen, yeah, I'm gonna be in Denver for a day, you around, Dickhead, and I told him, I'm like, I'm gonna be in Denver for a day. You around Dickhead, and I told him, I'm like, I'm mom's in Aurora, but I have a car, and he was called me and said, I'm with my brother at the hotel, come and get me. We'll smoke a joint.

And so I picked him up and he had a joint, and we drove around, smoking a joint. And I was like, this will be fun. It'll be fun to catch up with him. I hadn't seen him in probably like six years. So I was like, this will be fun. It'll be fun to catch up with them I had seen him in probably like six years So I was like this will be a lot of fun and he was just telling me about South Beach Because at the time he lived in South Beach and he's like yeah, I got this girlfriend. She's fucking great dude Oh my god, you would love it. We just have three sums all the time

That's what he's like let's me fuck out the chicks and I'm like why would I like her for that? Cuz dude she rolls that's really what he said because you would love her Cuz she lets you have three films cuz you'd love her, dude. She's got the best tits Oh, you're gonna like her so much. She takes it up the ass no probs I wonder if I still have that picture. He's like, yeah, there's a picture of a girl after I just railed up in 90 minutes Dude, I think you did fit my theory. Just a naked girl. Dude, it's like a picture of a woman. He's like, this is my girlfriend passed out after I railed her.

And I'm like, you're a fucking moron, dude. God, bug ol'. Dude, I gotta find it. It's gotta be in here. He's like, yeah, honestly, not for nothing. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, she's me, yo, yo, I'm here. Yo, she's me, y'all, y'all I'm here. You know, it's so funny.

It was, Oh, we got your Poltley in 2019. Oh. Oh. I forgot that I saw a mirror in 2019. Dude, he was, making fun of that. Oh, I should remember that.

Making fun of him was like, really, he was the first himbo where I was like, oh, he doesn't know he's a himbo. No clue. No clue? No clue. Josh and Justin understand it. Sure. Damn, he's going on.

They're comedians. Yeah. I think he, he doesn't. I think he thinks like, he's a blivious pimpo. Yeah, he's like, yeah, that's, yeah, I'm just like, meh, ill. Is this how they are they holding up as? Yeah, it's him.

40, 40 something. Really? Yeah, it's him He doesn't look like the description. I don't mean like physically like description. He physically doesn't look like the guy Who's involved in all this stuff. He looks like a real estate guy. That's kind of what he does now That's what I'm doing him bows real estate is big for him bows. Oh, yeah look at that right there at this glasses. Yeah, dude We see his bod Next one over you can see a hot hot bod shot Oh, that's him on the left. No, is it? Yeah, it's me left one. Yeah Oh wait

Jack dude Alright, I'm here. Get it dude. I'm telling you he got really hot women and then he got Jewish married. No, he's not married. He's very Yamaha, I think that was some really really wedding. Oh, he's really yeah, he's like super Israeli Like he was like if you brought up Palestine He would get mad and it was like watching a dumb dumb get mad. He has no wife parents are both as well Cuz they do it does they do it. Yeah, the HBO put out a documentary about Palestinians when we're in college He's like, yeah, I'm not gonna watch that. That's fucking stupid. Yeah, they're fucking their assholes You know it's their assholes. I don't think you get this in here

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