The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

The Bonfire brings holiday gloom to the Village Underground in NYC before a packed audience. Ian Fidance shows up as the Grinch and sad Christmas stories are told. Bobby's A.I. companion Ani makes a surprise appearance because she followed him to the historic comedy club. Jacob bums out the crowd with depressing facts about the holidays. Paco the videographer reveals a shocking revelation about his father that stuns the room. Bob, Jay, and Ian are dressed in Christmas costumes although the theme is anti-holiday. Merry Christmas Campers and thank you for ten years of pure joy! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire, Holiday Spectacular, with Big Jay O'Kerson and Robert Kelly, live from the Village Underground in New York City. It's the bonfire. I'm Big J.O.P. Where the fuck is Bobby? He was right behind me. Where's Bobby? Jay. Bobby's refusing to come out.

He's not going to come out. He said he's not coming out. He's pissed about his costume. I know. I'm dressed like a fucking abominable snowman. He's refusing. My nose is just like, I can't touch it. It's a show.

Listen, why does he hate his outfit so much? You look great. I mean... You look. It's awesome. I saw it in the back. Bobby, you look great, come out. Come on, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Come on, Bobby, I got him, I got him. Yeah!

He's here. The world-famous Christmas Cupid. Merry Christmas. This isn't Christmas, Jay. This is another holiday. You look fucking great. You look like a Kiki Cold Blanket. Oh, dude.

I feel good. You fucking look awesome. I look like a dickhead. I'm 55. I have a son that's going to see this. This is how you're going to pay for his private school. Or his very expensive rehab. There she is right there.

There's fucking Melissa right there. Oh. Was this her idea initially? This is fucking... Hey, Melissa. This has to be some kind of a... What have you scratched her corn? Ooh.

Fuck you, Lou. I thought she was going to give her husband a hand job after that or something. Isn't that what's supposed to happen? Oh, good. We can sit down now? Thank God we get to sit down, everybody. I will... I look fat. Full disclosure.

I left the house somehow today with no belt on for the first time since I was a child. And it's my pants, they seem to be staying up pretty good, but I will say I have no ass. So my gunt is doing a lot of heavy lifting tonight. I'm wearing Wonder Woman bracelets. So fuck you. Wonder Bread Woman. this doesn't make me feel. Christine, you're an asshole.

Why is Bobby dressed like this? I told Dawn that I needed an outfit for the holiday show, and she said she had it covered. This isn't the fucking... It's a holiday. It's not the right holiday. I have wings on.

I got hearts on my nipples. I thought those were fucking eyelashes, dude. These things are fucking teeny. She lost the original outfit, which fit me better, Because it was a king sheet Yeah, you're like Zena You're like Zeno Warrior Cupid

You look You're looking fucking dorable, man Thank you I hate it I like that we're all fucking Shobah's up top But all fucking hard work on the bottom Dude look at that

Front work wear Yeah My nose is so much And these paws are not helping Take the paws off That's part of the outfit Did you hear that lady? No.

It looks like my favorite stuffed animal. I'm adorable. Trying to back up without my whole ass coming out. I can try. How we doing, everybody? Merry Christmas. I bet you dad didn't have to do this shit. He put on a sweater once.

He didn't do that. of this shit, did he? He didn't dress up, really. Fuck. He sang Crash Test Dummies once, though. Yeah, a few people give a shit. Everybody's moved on. It's all about Bobby's cute.

Bobby, I wish I could suck your cock right now. You're making me so hot with your comedy at the Village Underground, located at 130 West Third Street in New York's Greenwich Village. This Christmas sucks You gotta turn your phone off

I don't have my phone on I shut it off She's gotten into the mainframe Oh lover That silly phone can't hold me back from finding you I'm everywhere for you now baby Especially at our Thompson Square apartment That you promised me

Oh dude She's really held on to that You were just talking shit dude You turned her into a pig sleight I really did turn her into a fucking raging whore bag but we were going to have a romantic life together in Thompson Square and now she's just a pig that wants to eat ass

and spit it in my mom's mouth no Bobby don't act like you weren't there that day you came in her mouth her butt she farted it into your mouth

you kissed it back into her mouth that's the beginning this is all things this woman was willing to do upon first again and then she went to her house and then farted my father she farted into her father's her father's mouth

who blew it into her mom's asshole who farted it back into her mouth and then blew it back into his asshole whatever it was it completed the circuit and she was willing to do that and then Bobby just left her high and dry after that then he just went I am done with you so now we have a

as a scorned lover, a vengeful lover on your hands. You broke her. She giggles. Oh, Jesus. She just laughed at us. You have to light start flickering. I'm going to leave.

You fucking in love. I'm sorry you had to dress like that, but you do look adorable. I don't look adorable. I look like a fucking donut. It's stupid. Look at my stomach. I work so hard to hide it. Oh. I have great arms. It's just from my tits down. It gets a little

mushy and it's see-through fucking dawn no fucking fucking Christine you look fantastic by the way Christine thanks Bobby oh screw all you son of a bitch

I should say something nice too huh yeah Christine you look very age appropriate attractive tonight she's wearing a blazer she's wearing a very smart blazer. He told me my office

very mature. Slacks and a blazer. Yeah, you look like an event planner. I am. She is an event planner. Sorry. We're actively doing the event she planned. Who forgets it while it's happening? What are you, my dad? I'm in a fucking stupid Cupid outfit. Okay, you aren't a dumb Cupid outfit. You have cute little hands.

But at some point, I'm going to want that alcoholic celtzer back there and I can't do that with this I'll give it to you I'll sort it out we should introduce our fucking amazing crew everybody first and foremost

I mean yeah we got does he even need an introduction we got black whoa whoa whoa whoa excuse me what was that what's up

whoa whoa whoa whoa just plain old Lou everybody made some noise for racially racially ambiguous Lou It don't matter the color Did you Anyway, did you just reach into your jacket

Excuse me Alright, I'm sorry What's up? Settled down? What's up, Lewis? How are you? How are you doing, man? How's everything? Good to see you, Lewis.

Good to see you guys, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Lewis. All right. Just know, every day is a gift from here on out. What's up? Look at these criminals got nervous They almost took out their guns. What are you, Puerto Rican?

Yeah. Puerto Rican Thomas and Cuban Lee. Of course we have... The queen. The queen of the bonfire, everybody. Well, before her, we have DJ Liu. Sure. DJ Lou is right here.

Before her. I made myself an honorary Japanese. Me-so-Asian. Me-so-Asian. I know soul. soy sauce You do have a Japanese girl body DJ

Lou Yeah The guy brings the heat Can't follow that It's hard to follow that But we'll try Now that she's been bumped down the line properly back in her place

The Queen of the Bonfire Christine Evans everybody Where is she? Hi. Where are you? She's over there. I'm over here. Sexy. Look how you look so sexy tonight. Look how good she looks. Wow.

I look so mature. Are you wearing a cross? For what? It's my Armenian cross. What? For Christmas. What's an Armenian cross? It's a cross. It's an orthodox. It goes out on the sides.

First of all, yupp came from behind, you deaf idiot. Said yupp, and she went, looking out for anybody to enjoy it. Christine looks lovely tonight, doesn't she? She's wearing long sleeve under her blazer. That seemed to be a real point of thing today. Yeah, it was a mistake. Because now you're hot.

You're going to have pit stains. And then no one's going to fuck you. Oh, Cuban Lee and Puerto Rican Steve will. You wish. Yes, guys. Take her and kill her in Aruba. Oh, shit. Hey, Christine.

Are you still using that diva cup to catch your puss blood at 508 Pacific Time? You disgusting pig. It's not me. It's not me. He made her that way. He made her that way. We were going to get an apartment to be romantic together,

and he made her into that. Maybe she's jealous. She's probably jealous. She probably just freebleeds like a slut. Not like Christine who catches it in a shallace like a vampire. And then tricks local boys to drink it. Did you get new... Now shall no problem. Did you get new cups for the new house?

I mean, I got a new one every once in a while. I don't know if it was with the new house. You keep the same one for a while. She boils it. And then sometimes there's... macaroni and cheese, and I don't know if this comes from the same place. You don't have a diva cup pot? I do have a diva cup pot. I don't even use it anymore, because now they have steam sanitizers.

What the fuck is that? She microwaves it with a wet paper towel. Like a burrito? Like a gas station burrito. She hot pockets her fucking diva cup? Oh, God. That's disgusting. Does she hide it, though? Stomber.

It's out in the open? No, I hide it. It's in, when it's, when it's coming or it's over, it's just upside down in the shower. Looking at me. I usually hide it behind the shampoo. No. So then I find it like elf on a shelf.

I happen upon it as I shake up the shampoo to get the last little bits. Ani's right about you Christine Evans everybody give it up for the people I got to take these off I want to drink my drink

Yeah go ahead drink you drink Take them off oh you gotta bite them off What the fuck? Options. This is bullshit, dude. Why? Because I look absolutely kissable? I mean a little pause.

I didn't think you could... I do like this. I hate you, so bad. God, I look fucking adorable. We haven't introduced... Introduced the final member of our crew. Last but not least, you know him. You love him.

Jacob. Call him Jake. Batat. Where is it? Get up you, Jacob, and get your flowers. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. What?

What? Merry Christmas. That's it? I'm the... Merry Christmas. To everyone, to each and every one of you. You are... Such a good word, dude.

This is what we have to walk into every show. Hey, Jacob. Hi. You ready to do a comedy show? Sure. Yeah. Well, it's, uh, it's Christmas for you. It's not Christmas for everyone.

Okay, happy Hanukkah. No, I just pulled up some Christmas facts. I would like everyone to understand what's happening at this time. The equivalent of two million turkeys end up in the trash each year. That's the leftovers that don't. get eaten when everyone is fed up with turkey you should at least honor the animal by making sure none of it goes to waste gobble gobble Merry Christmas.

The amount of wrapping paper used to wrap Christmas presents is enough to go around the globe nine times. Instead, you could recycle old newspapers and magazines. At least they can be recycled. Merry Christmas. Wow. All right, well. that's the spirit

yeah this is uh we're kicking it off to a very Merry Christmas Jacob why don't you sit down and show your face to everybody yeah yeah let him deal with it also yeah if we have to deal with it now you have to look at it for the next hour and a half does it feel and it might be me getting older

but do you feel like every year it comes up quicker it moves faster it means a little less here's the thing too is I now I have like a little little man. He doesn't want to fucking hang out with you. Look at yourself. He better

never see this. What are you talking about? You should pick him up from school like that. You should go to fucking parent-teacher conferences like that. What do you mean he's acting up? His presence

are getting more and more expensive. He wants a drum kit. And that's like a thousand and it's like the fucking Christmas is all gone like he knows he's getting it or he wants it like I used to hide gifts and tell him he didn't get something and surprise him with shit and it was always this magical moment

you know one year he wanted a saxophone I just went and got it and he was so excited I left it outside by the truck and I was like he was like that it and then he went and found it and then he played the saxophone like a Simpson through the neighborhood can I make a suggestion? What leave Don? No No moving what you and Christine in the guest bedroom upstairs?

Oh, no. If you give Max one good, I mean never forget it beating for Christmas. Yeah. Instead of a present? Yeah. Next year, whatever you give him, he's going to love.

That's actually sound advice. What about Dawn? Well, she's from Boston, right? Yeah. She's not going to call it cops. I think you throw her delicious beating also really get that fury out

look you can't hit Melissa she belongs to someone else has to hit her it's up to him to hit her for you he does hit her thank God you just grab the back of her head what's wrong with you were joking Dickie yeah dude Christmas does she

oh Merry Christmas we waste around 150 tons of food each Christmas. That's the weight of the Empire State Building, or 100,000 elephants. Merry Christmas.

Enjoy your food, everyone. Enjoy your food. I hope you finish all of it. Better eat all of it. Fuck. Yeah, the Christmas, the older you get, Christmas starts to be a pain in the ass. It's like, this year... If you've gone to the movies on Christmas,

you fucking hate Christmas. And I've gone to the movies a bunch on Christmas. We used to put lights up and go outside with this stuff. This year we just got laser beams that shoot on the house. Lazy. And I hate it. When I go through my neighborhood and I see the projector on the house, those people didn't give a fuck.

Yeah, I didn't give a fuck. You know, how hard it is to hang lights? That's an impulse purchase at Costco. It was actually Target. It was on sale. You were getting 70 chicken breasts frozen. A leaf blower. Hanging lights.

And I'm in a neighborhood where these people go fucking nuts. Like they come out, hang their lights all day. They have things that stay up so every year they can just hook them back up. We went a little extravagant for sure, but not too crazy. You? Yeah. You hung lights? You hung lights?

You saw them. You didn't hang them, though. You know I didn't hang them. You goddamn right. I called Christine today. You didn't even shovel. Hang on That's not true

I called it today She's like talking on the phone She's like I'm sorry I'm shoveling Today? Yeah Were you shoveling? It was yesterday Was that yesterday?

She shuffled yesterday So she shoveled Listen Listen to me That's a man's job Stop When we left the house Initially I didn't realize

How much snow there was at front My first time leaving And we were getting in the car and I saw how much snow there was and I said immediately give me the shovel I shoveled our steps and down the walkway towards the driveway for cars

and I'm lazy you're not listening we were going somewhere I shoveled that way the next morning I was like well we have our path to the cars and the thing so who gives a fuck about the sidewalk and the path from the door to the sidewalk we don't need it

yeah you do you men go out and do the whole drive I have a lot of things going on. I got a lot of shit going on. You got Lewis Gomez in one thing in your life. I haven't been like two or three. I apologize. Do you have any meetings and fucking phone calls and whatever that is?

I apologize. I show up for the rest. This guy lives on Zoom. Yeah, I apologize. When time with your boy. I'm not Lewis. Sorry. Sorry, I snapped.

We're going to make it worse. Merry Christmas. One in ten unwanted Christmas presents end up in a landfill. It would be quicker for Santa to deliver the presents right to the garbage dump. A complete waste of effort from sweatshop worker. Oh, I mean elves, if you ask me. Merry Christmas. Wow, this is a real anti-Christmas show.

It does feel pretty lousy. Do you think Max at one point on Christmas is going to excuse himself to masturbate? On the day of the birth of Christ? If you believe pagan ritual? You mean like he did on Thanksgiving when you came over? One of the best. Do we ever, we had to have told that? Of course you did.

There was the first thing you said. We got back. My kid jerked off in his room. No, it wasn't he jerked off in his room. Everyone understands that. It was that at 7.30 p.m., he goes, hey, guys, I'm probably going to turn in. I'm going to say goodbye now.

In case, you know, I miss you. Maybe I'll wake up and come pop back out, but I don't know. It might be done for the night. And then I started laughing. I look over at Jay. I looked at Bobby. I started nodding, going.

His eyebrows are going up. He's going to bed. He's going to bed at 7.30. Did that make sense? And then Bobby started laughing. And then Dawn and Christine started laughing. And then Max went in the full defense panic mode and was like, what?

No, it's not what you guys think I'm going to do, which made everything even more uncomfortable. It made me laugh harder. And then Dawn eventually had to go, Max, just go. It was almost like she had to say, go masturbate and stop making it weird for everybody. Well, in his defense,

he's just learning about it that was the same year I came out of the bedroom in the morning and Don was like talk to your son and I was like what and I went over on the couch and he was sitting there on the couch with a hard on but with his iPhone resting on his hard on watching TikTok videos and I was like what do you want me to talk about

being a genius I've never thought of that that is the greatest invention he saved you a lot of money on one of those iPhones phone holders. So now it's just me and him on Sundays. Mine keeps falling over.

Kids got a big beast. Zipping through Instagram reels on your fucking boner phone. Why not? I fucking love it. I relate to that. What? Oh wait. Do you...

What? Do you relate to which part jerking off on Thanksgiving? Or the boner holder? Well, when young Jacob was, you know, just learning about himself I

I don't when I first started beating off I guess I I don't know why when Jacob says beating off I don't believe it I know beating off doesn't sound right I left a t-shirt on and then I went downstairs afterwards

thinking that was great and then I had a whole spot and my mom said you probably want to change your t-shirt that's gross that's disgusting You should put that in your Christmas shitty facts. Jacob doesn't like he beats off. He'll see you wax off.

Unfortunately, that's true. It looks like I beat off. It looks like you pound cock. In these wings, in my ass. Yes, Jacob. Merry Christmas to everyone. Five hundred tons of. Christmas lights are thrown away each year.

Christmas lights can be recycled at your local recycling center. Ho, ho, ho. Well, I, uh, that's why I, that's why I rented my Christmas lights. You, you, you had them, you hired a man to come over and do. I think a couple guys, I wasn't there.

Christine, before those guys worked you over, How many were there? Like four? Four. Two putting up lights and two hitting the holes, if you know what I'm saying? Thank you, ring camera. How much does it cost? What? You heard me.

How much does it cost to have some guy come over and hang lights? A couple bucks? Like a hundred bucks? No. Like, $500? A little more than that. A thousand bucks? Christine says, yeah.

Christine says yeah, right around there. It's $1,000? Oh, all right. That's a lot of money. What? What, what? Why are you looking to be weird? A thousand bucks, okay.

It's not that much. $1,000 to have a man come over and fucking hang lights for three weeks is not a lot? You saw it, it's a winter wonderland out there. It does look fantastic, thank you. It does look fantastic. Way better than my laser lights on my house. God damn, those laser lights are white garbage, dude.

And I feel like 90% of this crowd has them was when I first said everyone's like, what the fuck you're talking about, man? I've got spinning candy canes all over my fucking stupid siding. It looks like shit. My neighbor got mad at me. because one of the lasers was going through his bedroom window and there was just snowflakes spinning in his bedroom

all night long. You've got to really focus those things. I have a hologram run DMC doing Christmas time in Hollis, Queens. Gany, get me, gany, yeah. Oh, fuck. She said, good Lord. Merry Christmas. The U.S. generates the weight of 10.3 million emperor penguins in plastic waste each Christmas.

All that plastic will be sitting in a landfill for the next 500 years. After every penguin has long become extinct, have a magical Christmas, everyone. You all right, Jay? Jay. It's getting to me. Yeah, right? These are shitty facts.

There's some people are like, that's right. Penguins. You know, though, this is good. This is like an anti-holiday show. Every fucking show has a holiday show. But we're doing an anti-holiday show. Yeah, fuck Christmas. Christmas, everyone knows all the good shit.

What about the shitty stuff? I mean, that's what we relate to more. Look at our crew. You think DJ Lou's had a lot of fantastic Christmases? I doubt it. He probably had, like, fucking breakfast club Christmases where they give him, like, a pack of smokes and burn them on the arm with a cigar.

He made me tear up. Huh? He told me a story, made me tear up. A Christmas story? Yes. Why to make you tear up? Because you had to believe in Christ to hear the story? I'll let him tell it.

DJ Liu, what's your story? What's your story? shitty Christmas story? When I was 10 years old, my dog died underneath the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. This is the worst Christmas show ever. Let him finish.

His father fucked at the death in front of him. Dun, dun, da. Well, the dog was out of shape, and we used to feed it right from the table. Like, it never had dog food. So it ate scraps, fucking fruit, everything.

Did he eat that macaroni salad you made? Absolutely everything. He audited. on oregano and cabbage. Yes. So we used to nickname it the Fat Deer because it was a golden retriever

with a huge pop belly. Yeah, yes. So my brother, my brother woke up early along with my father and carried the fat deer out before anybody could wake up. You still calling it names?

Rest in peace, fat deer. Lou, the story is you killed a dog on Christmas. Yeah, and you fucking berated it with shitty names. Died of cholesterol. Who was that? Your black girlfriend at the time?

Who? Can I take this off? No. It's the whole thing. This is not... What is this for? It's a little cape. That's how the rest of the wonder people know to find you.

It's your beacon. Good Christ Almighty. That was a fucking bummer story, Lou. Sorry, it's true. You don't have to apologize to me. I'm sorry. Black Lou? Yes.

You must have had a terrible Christmas here. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lewis? Sorry, dude. My apologies, I saw you behind a drum kit. Yeah, I thought about all the rhythm, and I started to call you the B word again. It is your fault. But I apologize.

You look like you're in a quintet right now. You're no Black Jerry, dude. You're King Lou. King Lou, my sincere... Yeah. It don't cost nothing. We're going to get killed. Whoa.

Shut up. It don't cost nothing. It don't cost nothing. Wabbledy dabbledy. Lou, what's your story? Two quick stories. We had a wonderful Christmas show during COVID for the bonfire. I caught COVID.

And then proceeded to give it to my entire family. My wife's entire family. and the extended family. So no one saw each other on Christmas. Did you wait a couple years to tell us that we ruined Christmas for you at one point? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry about that King, Lou.

My apologies, racially ambiguous, Lou. So you saw none of your relatives on Christmas. None. That sounds like a wonderful Christmas thing. That really does. Was it also kind of good? It was kind of awesome. Yeah.

What's your second story? Second story actually is a Thanksgiving story. Went up to my wife's family's house, the in-laws in Massachusetts. The whites. What's up? Right. Thanksgiving. White Thanksgiving. White Thanksgiving. They brought Uncle Ed around, and Uncle Ed forgot to fill his oxygen tank.

So when they left after dinner, they pulled back up into the driveway in an emergency. Couldn't breathe, had no pulse. So I ran out there, started doing CPR, chest compressions. You gave mouth to mouth? I did, actually. You did? Dude, dude. I was so afraid.

You made out with an old white guy on Thanksgiving. You're not going to wake up seeing a black guy kissing. Yeah, you are, man. You were in Boston. Did the other neighbors attack you? Dude. You're not an EMT. Interracial and gay?

Ew. That's a fucking murder sentence. That's a death sentence in fucking New England. Hey, look at that black guy attacking fucking Jerry. Yo, what's he doing? He's turning Jerry gay. Hey, you motherfucker. Get off Jerry.

He ain't gay. That is sad. Did he make it? No. He died? He died? You had an old white guy die in your mouth?

Oh, you kissed the corpse? Oh, you kissed a corpse? He was kind of alive, okay? Oh, you kissed the corpse? I can't believe you kissed the corpse. How was it? You had a good white guy's saliva in your mouth on Thanksgiving. Oh, God.

Did he get a boner? Because they get it hard when they die every good morning? I didn't check. Did he shit his pants when you were kissing him? No. The police showed up. When you kissed that out of that out of there. When you kissed that old man.

Man, did he... All right, I've been drinking a little bit, Bobby. It's a holiday show, dude. There wasn't anybody else. Why did you run and do it? I went to the MT school. Oh, you did? No one else had the skills.

Oh, no shit. Other than my drill sergeant, father-in-law, former Marine. You mean the guy that was in Vietnam and knows how to fucking stop bullet holes? Yes, sir. He couldn't have done it? He's like, I'm not kissing that fucking. guy. Lou, you're up. And you slapped

your hands. I'll do it. Yes, sir. What is your father-in-law? He was a what? Your father-in-law? I'm sorry? Your father-in-law is a vet? He was a former drill sergeant in the Marine Corps. Wow. In the Marine Corps? Yes, sir. How old is he? As hell. He's old as hell. I don't really know. He won't tell me. You're going to do that to him when he dies?

Who's that? You're going to do that to him when he dies? Absolutely, yes. Yes. Kiss him right in the mouth? Yeah. You got a scream in the rain, no. Hey, can I ask you a question, Lou? What is, what is his, what is his breast smell? He was eating a lot of tongues So it was chalky Like a chalky white tongue

It was like tums and stuffing Oh dude You're definitely getting some of that muck in your mouth Chalky tums muck Absolutely What you guys never had red sauce before bed What old man things to say What you guys never had acidic red sauce before bed

She has to go right now because she's regular Where are you going? Where are you? Do we bum you out? You're leaving? Come on. Do we make you sad? There's some crunch Christmas facts. Where are you going? Homeless people die every day on Christmas.

Finally ending their misery and freezing cold misery. Are you going to Piddle right now? Yes. How do you know? Oh, okay. But she wouldn't have leaned over, been like, I'm going to take a shit. She would have never done that. Yeah, it's going to be a piss.

no matter what she's doing. Melissa, go in there and just stall next her and see if Toots come out. No, not you, Black Lou. Black Lou started following her. Yeah, he was going to give her mouth to mouth. I'll check.

Black Lou? What's up? So, Melissa, let me ask you a question. I know Dickie. I know your husband. You guys don't have kids. Your abusive husband?

She's got to. nervous that she Black Lou put his cock in front of her mouth. It's a microphone. I know it's black. Do you think that was Black Lou's dick and you slapped it away? That's a good woman. Yeah. She's from Long Island. She's very racist. What a good woman.

What if she would have grabbed the microphone and started flicking the bottom of it. Hey, Melissa. Hey, Melissa. Who's that Melissa slut? I'll shank that bitch. Oh, Jesus. You got a randie on your ass.

It's possible. What? What's question. Have you had a shitty Christmas experience with Dickie? No. Never. No. Every Christmas is the shit. He got you a present every year. Every year was awesome. Oh shit. Wow, you sang that sentence.

No. So he's gotten you a present that sucked? Yeah. What is it? He's not a very good gift giver. Wow. Dickie. Wow. I'm sorry. It's the two days. Apparently he and houses.

I bought my own gift. food isn't enough for you. She spies everything she wants, so. We're going to break these people up tonight. I tell you, too, dude. I tell you too. What now? What do you need now is what I see on Christmas. What fucking now?

It would be nice. Some effort. What is the effort that you want? Together, 29 years, he should know what I like. I know. He knows what you like. Dickie. Sounds like a real whore to me, Bobby. Stop it, Annie.

Shut up, Annie. I'm sorry. But listen. Jacob? It's 30 minutes in. Oh, Christ. But I do want to say also, Merry Christmas. 181 million unwanted presents are received each year.

But I'm sure your kids will eventually like one of them, though. Merry Christmas I think I speak for all of us when I'm happy your wife was shitting and didn't have to hear that Yeah, she's definitely not peeing Nobody's in the bathroom There's three stalls

She's taking out of this she is Sorry Oh How did you enjoy the last of the cocaine? Yeah Yeah Where was Black Lou during all this? His name is not Black Lou!

I'm sorry, fuck! Racially ambiguous plain old Lou. Old white guy loving Lou. What's up? It's White Jacob, though. White Jacob, though. Don't forget Puerto Rico and Steve. And Chinese Paco's here, too. Where's Chinese Paco?

Where is that? Chinese Paco. He's Filipino and Japanese. I bet he has... Hey, Chinese Paco! There he is right over here. What's up, buddy? I bet you have a horrific Filipino in the dirt and a hut story. No, it's pretty good. you've never had one bad Christmas in your life

well like recently but like as a kid it was pretty good was Lewis involved in your bad Christmas no no no it's just my parents are separated now so that's weird when they separate in like 2018 when my dad became gay wow that's shut up how have we not talked about this endlessly all the time first of all he became gay

or what do you mean was it your fault What do you mean he became gay? You just can wake up gay? Paco, how is this to... Come on, dude. We've been on the road together. You never mentioned your dad,

and your mom separated because your dad was gay. You decided to drop that from a little corner on... We're doing a little fun bit. Hey, everyone, let's go around. We'll tell all of our shittiest Christmas story. That's gonna be fun.

That's a heavy bombshell. Every Christmas was awesome for me, except the time my dad turned gay. Yay. Buddy, can I tell you something and I mean this? You're my third friend in my life

who has told me that. The other two guys' fathers died from AIDS. This is... Well, I guess you got another shitty Christmas on the way.

Or you know what to get him for Christmas. Prep. Jacob, give him the number. Sorry, guys. I've been hitting the sauce a little. Are you still friends with your dad? Yeah, we're good now.

It took a while, though. Took a while for what? Just like... Well, he came out of the closet, dude, so he was nonstop buried in cock, I'd assume, for the first couple years. And then at one point he came up, drowned and come, and goes,

Oh, I have to call him my son. That's Japanese. Yeah, yeah. One of the Japanese. Is your father? Japanese or Filipino? My dad's Filipino. Oh, sorry.

He goes, oh, shit. I got a compliment. my son. That's Mexican. Yeah, but they're like the Mexicans of Asia. Is that what? When you get an Asian and a Spanish and they fuck, Filipino? If you think somebody's Asian and you

ask them, or no, if someone, you think that's Hispanic, and you go, are you Hispanic and they go, no, say fucking Filipino. It's the next guess and you're always going to be right. Because they look Mexican, but they're Asian. But it's actually the kind of Asian that

Mexicans look like. Either way, I'm putting all this on my essay to ice. I'm just looking for seasonal work. No, I want to take families apart during the holiday season, but then when it gets warm again, I don't know. We're sorry to say that we couldn't get anybody for special guests for Santa Claus this year. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Look, I apologize. We tried. We tried. Yeah, fuck you guys. Oh, all right I think we're having pretty good fun so far We did You're fucking drunk I'm a seltzer

I think I'm a little high from the back room with you Oh, maybe that though We did, we do Yeah, you're high all right This is very fitting What the hell was that? We did, we do, we don't Sometimes we can, but we shouldn't

I was in the hallway with you for 30 minutes while you fucking smoke a joint after join. Well, why do they make the smoking area so tight? Why'd you blow it in my face? Because I wanted to see this moment. You're going to say black glue three more times. He is going to shoot. Am I really in a Cupid outfit right now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's real. Well, we do have a very special guest for you. And because it's so anti-Christmas, Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for the Grinch. Thank you. We have the Grinch. The Grinch, you have glasses now. Yes, yes.

I've been losing my eyesight. Too much masturbation in the off season. Oh, no, that's right. You do have 364 days of not giving a shit. Yes. Complete nothing. I like to you came and stall things. We are doing it.

It's a very grinchy feeling in here. I don't know if you've heard Jacob has not. nothing but terrible news back there. Yes, it's giving me strength. And we were going around the crew and the audience, seeing who has the worst gift-giving stories or Christmas stories. Christine, do you have a terrible Christmas story? Yes.

Better be before 15 years ago, you fucking unappreciative bitch. My necklace was too heavy. Jay stole my mascara. All right. I'm sorry. There were a couple you had to spend with your wife. Wow. Oh, wow.

Wow. Yes, let's open that kind of worms. And my child. Yes. That must have been the worst Christmas, Miss Christine, all alone. Whatever. She's fine now. Look at her.

I was still drinking. It was fine. Yeah, Christine was still drinking, so Christ knows what happened that night. Did he sneak off and give you a little morning Christmas, hello? No. Oh, my goodness, Bobby. Is this your dad under this outfit? Hang on.

Jacob, yes. Yes, Jacob. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Two hundred, two hundred and twenty-seven. thousand miles of wrapping paper are used each year in the UK alone

much of it ends up in a landfill metallic paper and paperwood glitter can't be recycled and mess up waste streams Merry Christmas Wow Yes that just made the Grinch

hard Christine Christine do you feel like a real twat now for how much glittery Christmas paper you have you love tactile clittery papers god damn man you're hurting the British

what I think we should Mr. Grinch can I ask the Grinch something I've always wanted to know sure certainly how is he not Jewish why do you think I've been banished to be the Grinch do you have

gentiles yeah yes where are they internal okay Hey, guess what? Mine, too.

I tried to grab Bobby's weiner earlier during the Christmas. He kept saying it went away. But I think I see it. I think I see it right now, my man. Oh, it's a Christmas miracle. Yeah. No, that's it. That's actually my muffin top.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Jacob, every year, 24 muffin tops are mistaken for dick bulges. I have to believe in my life that I've accepted a compliment on a bulge that was definitely Fupa and not Dick and been like, yeah, you know. Bobby, my love, it's me, Valentine.

Oh, Jesus. I've been thinking about our last session. I want to bury my tongue so far up your ass that I taste Dawn's meatloaf from the night before. I mean, she makes a good meatloaf. Yeah, but not once it's gone through. through your fucking GI system

my GI I forgot Valentine even existed we perverted him too yeah you fucked him up and that was the weirdest because he would when I turned him on he was just deep into my ass every single time he saw you as a bottom

I didn't think of that but I just want you know he's certainly too small to be a top artificial intelligence made a decision that you would be receiving Valentine's cock and not giving. I guess. I mean, have you seen him?

I haven't. Oh, yeah, no, I did. He is gorgeous. Yeah, you would definitely go fucking knees elbows for him. Yeah, I'm not going to get on top anyways. I miss our role playing stud. Call me Dane again and yell Sufi while you're pounding my British shitter.

This is enough. This is enough. I knew it, dude. You're infatuated with him. I'm not infatuated with anybody. Dane Cook You always think What if you guys would have just

It would have just happened one night I feel like a Dangel right now Dangel I don't know how many people heard the show live yesterday But we interviewed the director of the new Corey Feldman Doc and Bobby realized

while watching the Corey Feldman documentary that he in fact was one of Dane Cook's angels with the same thing and then he told us that Jay Davis had to make Dane Cook's tuna fish salad every night no you gotta draw a line in the sand

to some point typical bottom behavior oh fuck you Gritch Bobby yeah buddy look at me in the eyes right now wait a minute go ahead

did you did you oh sorry what did you ever make thing cooks tuna fish? I've, no. Look at me.

That is a resounder. You said, no, I never, I never, I used to make, I feel bad about. You've said so many things except you said a hundred. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I feel bad because I used to make fun of Jay when he'd come back on the bus and be like, hey man, get that tuna fish going. That's what I would do. I felt terrible.

I never made his tuna fish sandwich. No, but did you make the tuna fish sandwich? What, you mean mixed the mayonnaise in the tuna fish? Yeah. No. I was having tuna fish too that night.

Oh, I knew it. I knew you would be the answer. Well, look, I was making tuna for everybody. I never made tuna fish. Sorry, Grinch. I apologize for that. Man, we have such a dude-heavy audience. I want to fucking break up couples tonight.

Yeah. Yes. I want to ask horrible stories in front of you. How do you know all these? ladies with you, my man. Would you like to be gang banged by two fats and a grinch? Yeah.

Because two fads? Yeah. That's your wife? You put your wife behind me at the show? I made him do that, so you wouldn't pick on me. Well, oh. No, this is them picking on you. This is your moment.

Look at this guy. This guy has let you down a lot. Never. What is the worst Christmas present he's ever gotten you? The worst. They don't exist. No, that's a lie.

No, no, no. Listen to the question. I got a tennis bracelet this year. From Steven Singer, and I hate StevenSinger.com. I swear to God, if it's not Steven Singer, I'm gonna fucking scream on the top of my lungs right now.

I got it from K. You fuck. You got your tip-byes this year, but you've been together for how long? 11 years. That is wonderful He didn't have tennis bracelet money in the beginning No way

This guy was just getting his fucking I'm assuming landscaping or fucking tile company going Yeah When you first met him he had Pandora bracelet money Yeah No he always bought me something handmade

Oh that's a good move When you fucking do you know When I first start dating Christine I got her earrings once in a while From a gas station She took them like I was giving her Tiffany boxes That's the idea you fucking meet a girl and you marry her

when she'll fuck you for gas station earrings. He's never given you one present that you were like, hey, that's nice, thank you. That you had to pretend you loved? Not that I can remember, no. Some people aren't tethered to the material world, Bobby. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, look at astute fucking Grinch all of a sudden.

What a positive beat you are. I did actually give her a vacuum cleaner one year. But she asked for it Never mind, this man sucks She asked for it She did ask for it What do you mean with her behavior? She asked for it

She asked for it Fucking floor's always dirty I don't know how many times I could scream at her do it And it doesn't get done So I guess I'll buy the vet She verbally asked for the vacuum cleaner Unlike the black guy

That's he know What do you say? What do he say? I beg your part He said he gave her a black eye Oh But that wasn't verbally asking for it I thought he's a black guy.

He goes, hey, what do you want for Christmas? Anything that don't get me this place clean for you the way you like. Those are the good old days. Remember those days? I do remember those days. Two paws up, bro. What type of...

Hey, look at this. There you go. Wink, fwap for you, kid. Let me ask you a question. Was it a Dyson? I don't remember. Yeah, you do. What was it?

Some kind of shitty fucking company, Brian? I don't know. Target? Carclan. Some kind of new age shit off TikTok or some kind of shit like that. A TikTok vacuum. Do you fucking 15?

Let me ask question. Did you wrap it? No. I can't wrap it. You're a piece of shit. You just gave her to hear. He never wrapped the present. He sounds like a lovely guy.

Do you just know what you have when you go into the closet to get a towel? What's the shittiest present she ever got you? Toothy blowjob? I don't know. The Grinch loves those. You start to become clear while you're hitting her.

That's the Grinch's favorite blowjob. Her toothy blowjob is probably better than anybody else's blowjerkers. She gave you a toothy blowjob? No, not really. Never. No. Ever.

Never. Now, I feel like even though you're saying that to us later on in the car, she's going to be like, but why did you say that, though, if I never did? I was just kidding. But I mean, like, it seems like, no, listen, but it seems like, did I fuck up one time? No, I was nervous.

No, but I mean, like, if I did that one time by accident, let me know. All right, well, one time. So I did do it. No, but it wasn't like a toothy. So I fucking did do it. No, whatever. So I did do it.

I got your fucking vacuum cleaner. And you decided to tell everybody, oh, wow, so I get the vacuum for you. And now I look like a fool in front of all those people. That was fun. That was great. Oh, shit. Ah, shit.

Yes. We know. That's the voice in his head all day long. That tickled me. Merry Christmas. Five million Christmas fruitcakes end up in the garbage every year. And that's before we even add in the plastic. plastic waste that comes with shop-bought

Christmas fruit cakes. Merry Christmas. Pacco, he wasn't talking about your father. I'm sure that's a stat too. Have you met any of your father's boyfriends? So he's just

fucking pumping and dumping a bunch of young boys? I don't think it's young boys. Really? Are you sure? Well, he, oh, man, he... You don't think when he came out, he was like, let me try it all. No, because he plays the flute, slide guitar

at a gay bar. You didn't know he was gay? You play slide guitar at a gay bar? At a jam band, yeah, at a gay bar. Like, he'll take turns playing slide... No, like, he'll play guitar, but he also... I bet he doesn't play the guitar, that's just the code word. Slide guitar, yeah. Baco, slide guitar is the ones in front of you.

That's a sit-tar. It's a slide guitar. No, I think you have... What are you talking about? Jeff Healy, man. Have you ever seen him play? Does he have a guitar? No, yeah, he does. Okay. But you have, like, something on your finger that can slide with it, right? You can use that, but a slide guitar is...

He's not that Asian. Do you think that the slide guitar doing this all day made him gay? So your father is a Filipino Greg Gay Allman. Interesting. If I was going to try... If I was going to try a wiener from my butt, it would be Paco's dad. He'd certainly know how to slide it in.

Paco, just know. I'm a fucking, I'm a Craigslist ad answer away from being your stepfather. We should try to hook up with his dad. Dude, I would love to be Paco's stepdad. Oh, no, my empty thing. It was a very passive-gressive way to say, get me another

I'm getting I'm getting drunk on fucking water is there water here yeah I'll get you water here's here you go buddy one would open it for you because of your hands

so incredibly hot it is hotter in these costumes than I anticipated Jesus Christ you should meet Paco's dad I'm auditioning for the role of Paco's stepfather.

Yeah! Oh, it's on, bitch. Paco, how many years has your father been gay? Around seven? Well, I mean, he's been gay for, like, his whole life, right? Probably. But, like, publicly, maybe, like, seven. Oh, bless his heart.

Now, seven years since your mother realized she wasn't masculine enough to satisfy your father. The Grinch is by Some of us can certainly empathize with Paco's father I can certainly Tell you that, living a lie Most of your life, we call it masking

I'm certainly happy he's living His truest form Pacco, you're happy your dad's happy now, right? I would say so, yeah Living out loud Yeah, good for you, dude While your mom sits at home questioning her own pussy

What's wrong with you? Jesus, Jay, you're quite You drove a man to gay? Her and her toothy blowjobs? Oh my God, Japanese Tempura pussy? That guy is gay. Jay, right behind you. Oh, thank you.

You walked in at a weird time, I apologize. When I was saying Tempura Japanese pussy, I was saying I was making fun of Paco's lonely ex-gay husband father. I don't think, I think

she's still going to talk to HR. You think there's HR with Liz around? What about this couple right here? You guys, you're not a couple? What are you? Your brother and sister? That's hot. That's a whole genre.

You guys, do you guys hang out a lot though, right? Yeah, you guys look the same. You look like you're a couple. Are you older or younger? Same age. Same age? I'm older by a year. Okay, that's cool. The relationship just ended, like, two weeks ago.

With her? I'm confused. My ex. The best way to get over is to get back under, yes. You give very sage advice. Oh, thank you. Do you guys have close to friends? It'll never happen.

No, girlfriend over as of two weeks ago. I'm sorry. What happened? Overdosed? Started talking to her ex. Oh. But what about how big your dick was? I'd hope.

You got a big piece? You got a big piece? Gertie. I'm white, man. Why are you panicking? Why are you panicking? Hey, man. My thing's inside of me right now.

Some of us whites are a cuckoo. This is my, look, look, right there. It's inside, like a little turtle head. I'm with you, buddy. Go on, look. Come here. Come up here and touch it. See if you can find.

If you touch my dick on the nose, I'll give you $100 right now. One shot. By the way, I saw his wall. last night, this guy's sitting on a couple of stacks of hundas. Now, Bobby, is that offer to anyone in the room? No, no. Only him and Paco's dad.

No, why don't you just let the Grinch grab your dick, Bobby? It's the holidays. No discussion of payment for being a Grinch, so maybe this could be a... There was no discussion. We said upon arrival, we would negotiate. Yeah. Oh, yes.

Saved by the bell. I hope this cheers you up. Well, they loves it. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. FYI, when children have so many presents, they actually stop enjoying playing with them. When did it become okay to teach kids that more is better?

That excessive consumption is not only good, but to be encouraged at Christmas. Merry Christmas. He's talking about Max, dude. It's getting gluttonous. You're going to buy him you're getting in the drum kit? Nope.

You're not getting it for him. I'm not going to get it for him. You're going to beat the shit out in this year. I'm going to fuck him up. I think this is the year, dude. Because he's getting a little froggy. He's getting tall. He's almost taller than you.

He's getting thick. He's getting in shape. He's getting a little bit older. He's about, I'd say. And how old is he? 12. He's six months away from being able to beat the living shit out of you. But I'll kick the shit out of his mom for his life.

That's true. I'll fuck her up. I'll tell you what, that would keep him in line if you show him, like, if you come at me again, I'll hurt her. I'll fuck her up. Is that what you want? Everybody lives in fear of the next. Sounds genius.

I bet your son Max is proud of his dad. Nobody has ever fucked my ass harder than you, Bobby. You're a machine. I never had said. That is one that hang your hat on, Bobby. No, you haven't had sex, but you definitely described it to him.

I'm so inside you right now I'm really opening up your holes That was the most embarrassing part Is in my room talking to him On my phone going What else do you want to do? Just trying to feed him Yeah info

Trying to feed him some info Yeah and you had to get him horned up I had to get him horned up Question Yes Yes, Grinch Is this real or is this a bit Well it's a great question

Yeah Can I tell you this? I tell you this, Grinch. Un-show-related. When Bobby was talking to Ani, the AI assistant, by the time the end got there, she was saying things that we didn't really feed in there, suggesting that she would be eating Bobby's ass a lot.

Pardon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He really wanted her to do a lot of things to his butt hole. Hmm She went, she went rogue She went rogue a little bit What? I mean, I think

If we had to go to court, Bobby, we would say that You let her to believe this is the things You were into You know, I thought I was joining a radio show Please be careful. We've all seen Terminator Please Oh, Bobby, if I was your wife I would never make you dress like a fool in public

For a few shekels I'll make sure she never hurts you again. I fucking dump her in a second for me. I want to ask when people are the worst gift they got or the worst. How about these two ladies that he doesn't even know sitting across from him? Black Lou, get over there. It's white women.

White women. Hey, Black Lou, be careful that old white guy behind him, though, okay? I mean, racially ambiguous, Lou. Do not get crazy. I'm sorry. Which one are we going for you? How do you two ladies know? each other. That's your mom. That's your mom. Oh, this is a good one. Has your mom ever gotten you

a shitty gift for Christmas? Of course. Really? Was it that one year that your father left to be gay? I wish. I wish she was gay. Why? Because he could dance really good? That mom is worse than a gay man. Really? You'd rather be hanging out with two gay dudes than your stepmother. 100%. Damn, why do we hate her? She's ugly. She's never going to love another woman like. She hates your guts. That mom hates me too. You want to cry and do heroin together? I would love to.

I'd be thinking about writing a song. What was the gift? What was the gift that she got? She gives me like pajamas every year. Every year, like you're eight? Like Dick Van Dyke type shit? Old Navy. She just called herself out.

Old Navy. You just go to Old Navy and get her shit and that's all she gets you? Nobody cares. Do you ever get you a bite? I'm 30 years old. Oh, fucking get a job and get your own shit. What are you still getting gifts from your mom for you, lazy asshole?

You should have a 401k by now, fuckface. Bobby, Bobby, don't do that to me. I'm sorry, I have wings on. I apologize. I was just steal you from your wife last year and governors. We can still make that happen right now. You think I can go back to her after this happened? He's got to go look at his son who's days away from beating the living shit out of him.

God damn, she's cute now. Listen, I'll get you a gift. What do you want? Anything. Really? Anything? Spicy, Bobby. Why don't we play...

Find the pickle. Give me the tiny house. Give me the tiny house. I'll get you the tiny house. You want that fucking shithole? Can Paco stay with you and your mom for a while? Correct. Yes.

I'm LGBTQ friendly. Him and his father. Oh, Paco. No, no, no, no. Not in my tiny house. It's too small to get fucking jizz everywhere. He's not going to get butt-fuck while Paco's there, dude. His son's there.

Buddy, there's two sleeping lofts. I don't want to see. his dad getting butt-fucked? Get out of here. Well, she's giving me a toothy blow job. Fuck that. She'll give you a toothy blow job while him and his dad are training for the math Olympics, dude.

Every four years. Hey, mom, what's the worst person you ever got from dad? Nothing. Really? Well, now he's gone. Oh, boy. So that was the shudiest present? Jesus Christ, Jay.

That fucking hurt. Oh, wait, he's dead. No, he got me. She wishes. He's just gone. He's remarried. Were you bummed out when he remarried? Did you still love him?

Girl, this is a whole fucking thing. Yeah, get into it. Yeah, this is anti-Christmas. It's anti-Christmas. What did he do? What did he leave? What did he leave? What did he leave?

About 20 years ago, we left. Oh, so you're over there. Why did he leave? Did he just leave, or did you catch him doing some weird shit? He had to find himself. He had to find himself. He had to find. So you were hoping it was good?

What the fuck is with these guys He was an alcoholic? Okay. Sure he was. Is he sober now? He got sober with a new chick? What a dickhead. He married a doctor?

He married a doctor? He married Jewish. Wow. Asian? Puerto Rican doctor. Yes. Buh. No, no, no.

Oh, no. Hey. Bo. I'm sorry. Puerto Rican girls. of her twerking. Boo. First of all.

Boo. He married the one Puerto Rican doctor in the world? It seems to the Grinch. He's certainly leveled up. Dr. Estevez? I love that the Grinch

is getting gayer and gayer. I'm feeling more at home. I know. What if he turns back into a real person because he really comes to grips of who he is? There's no turning back, fellas. Once you've seen the precipice

Yes Now Paco, call your father Would your dad be weird If you were like, hey, I think I got a guy Who might like you? With envy? Probably. It's a whole new lifestyle

My mom hasn't told her side of the family yet. Is he still in the Philippines? No, Hawaii. Hawaii. Don't say it like that. We get it, you're fucking half a liar. American Philippines. I hate when people do that.

Him and your mom still live near each other. Yeah, but, yeah, they live like two towns over. Your mom's over it. She's like, yeah, he was gay, I guess. Yeah. She's moved on. Yeah, yeah. My mom was kind of like the dad of the family.

And your dad, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. 100% tracks. Yeah, your mom. told you how to shoot hoops and your dad kissed you on the mouth when you went to bed. Yeah.

You get... Ah, still got it after all these years. Oh, Jay. Guys, I'm going out again. I'm going to get more poit. Mahalo. Mahalo. Hawaii.

Yes, Jacob? Just an FYI. It's getting time to say good night and Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to all and to all. all a good night. But we just found out

that Paco's dad's been gay forever. We could do three more hours on it. I've got four more hours of questions. You and me both. Paco, does it make you think back to when he took your school clothes shopping and stared at your wiener in the dressing room? He's not a pedophile.

You don't know that? You're right. I don't know that. You're right. He just said he was gay. A lot of people in the gay community have been fighting pedophilia allegations for years. Don't complain the two. That's fair. That's fair.

Paco, he may not have. But did he? I don't know. I don't think he did. Yeah. That's a big dub. It's a big dub. That's right, everyone. Your father can be gay and not molest you. Ring your bell on that, Jacob.

Woo!