The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Are You A Comedian?

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

The guys recall their crappy jobs and getting recognized at them. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Make sure you check out Big J at the funny bone in Liberty Ohio August 5th and 6th and then helium comedy club in Buffalo, New York August 11th through the 13th. For tickets and other tour dates, go visit bigjcomedy.com. Dan Sotas is going to be in Oklahoma, Berktown comedy club August 4th through the 6th and then in Phoenix at Stand Up Live Comedy Club August 18th through the 20th. For tickets and all their tour dates, go to dansotor.com. Everybody make sure you check out our Pandora playlist of the week, which is Big J's Christine, turn that shit off now playlist. You can find all of our playlist on Pandora if you search Bonfire SXM.

And now the Bonfire with Big J Okerson and Dan Soder Hey, this job is shumming Welcome back with the Bonfire Series XM Faction Talk 103 I'm Dan Soder, that's big J-O-Greson It's just a nice family conversation today I would just ghost the job and then like they would call me Hey, are you coming back? And I'm like, you're still wanting to come back? And one of the times I was even like,

Y'all come back, it was like a week late, you know I had like a week off, and I was like, that week off Yeah, you know what? Yeah, you want me back after that week? They just didn't ask me quite and then like, you know a couple months later I was again like yeah, I'm like, did you have a quit a job? Did you ever quit on somebody? Quitting a job is very important. Yeah, I said I told the guy when I got that that thing the finals of that Salem contest, I was working at that CD store that I was just robbing blonde.

I didn't miss that, but they were like, the guy was like, hey, I need you to like open the mall or something like that. And I was like, yeah, no, I'm getting like, pitched up in the morning for like this big competition in New York City. He's like, yeah, I don't care. He's like, I don't care.

He's like, I need you to come open this. You have a job here. He has given a fuck. And you're on the schedule for the thing and I go, oh, I go, well, I can't come do that tomorrow. And he's like, you can't do that tomorrow. Then don't bother coming back in and all. And I was like, all right. Yeah, I was like, I'm, I'm, I'm just, you know, like, I will have either tomorrow. Yeah. I'm. So I would like irresponsibly, I didn't wanna work New Year's Eve. So I was just like, I guess I don't work

at Pope John's anymore. Really? Yeah, he did. Dude, one of them. That's how I would also treat jobs. Which is the same thing. I was like, I was like, I was like, the child,

it was like, I was like, it's like, this is gonna like, well, I wasn't fucking in this web of darkness. Chris Stevens, but I'm just saying, I had a thing like, I was fucking sand trash.

But I was just like that exactly if it was like, oh, but everyone's going to darkness, Christine. But I'm just saying, I had a thing like, we're fucking sand trash. But I was just, it was just like that exactly. If it was like, oh, but everyone's going to the movies tonight and I was like, oh, I gotta do this dumb job. Or so, here's a problem. I say that as I'm saying it. I don't even know how true that is because my job, most of my life of working was watching my brother and sisters. Yeah.

My parents worked eight ton. I so like, I just had to watch them all. I had very few telemarketing's here and there. And. My parents worked eight tons. I so like I just had to watch them all to I had very few telemarketing's here and there. And that's what I mean. Like telemarketing some of them I worked for a month and a half, two months, some of them I worked for three days. And we just the next week I was just like, yeah. I quit a job out of embarrassment once

just because I didn't want to do the job anymore. I was like broke in Tucson and I delivered sandwiches my sophomore year for Silvermind subs. Did we have a costume or something? I had to put it on top of my car, on top of the stratus I had to put the delivery thing. Oh the fucking triangle. Yeah the big thing that's it's Silvermind subs and green and white. Oh, and then I worked at the one on campus.

So I delivered to just all the cool kids who were getting late night sandwiches. And I had like my little shirt. Oh my God. And I had like jeans, you know, like my fucking jean shorts and shirt. And then in my head, and like, dude, I know every time I say, when I say jean shorts, I'm saying them in a way I looked,

was I looked like a camp counselor. Yeah. I'm getting anxious for you. Yeah. Because all I'm seeing, here's what I'm picturing. Tell me if I'm counselor. Yeah, I'm getting anxious for you. Yeah. Because all I'm seeing, here's what I'm picturing. Tell me if I'm close. Yeah. Please, because you have these actual experience.

High and tight Caesar cut. Here's what I would hate, is the guy, you're delivering to a bunch of guys and girls hanging out. Not a party, but hanging. The dorms. Sure. So I'm saying they're all hanging together. And they, the guys are

busting your balls a little bit and then a super hot chick who's definitely fucking one of them goes, stop. Leave him alone. He's cute. Yeah. And then you're like multiple times. You're like, that's because of the anxiety. Like the girl going like, stop, stop picking on that stupid fucking loser out there. Yes. You're like, you're being mean to this dumb ass. It got some old feels. You're like, I did. I're being mean to this dumb ass. That's how it feels. You're like, I could, oh, there's no way. It got to the point where like, the cool dorms, it's probably changed since then,

but the cool dorms when I was at Arizona were called Coronado, and you would like get the delivery slip and you'd be like, fuck, because I was a sophomore and they were freshmen. So it was only a year difference. So sometimes I was in their class, and then you'd be like, they'd be like,

are you in history 102? And I'd be like, yeah. And they're like, yeah, that's my quarter lane. Maybe I'm just handing them the sandwich. I was like, that's my Georgetown. And you're like, well, you know, do you know it's named after a town in Colorado? Yeah.

Did you get right? Did you get right in the name? I would sit in my car and do the Scotty, the fucking idiot. So many times smoking a cigarette in the parking lot of that goddamn dorm, dude. Did you got it, hated it? I delivered to the girl I had a crush on. My sophomore year. Well, I was a kid.

I had a crush on that girl from Ohio. I had those Caminos, so you're doing comedy for a while now. Yeah. I dose Camino's that anybody recognize you? I had that was sitting at your table or that was your sad at you. And they're like, oh my God, we say perform. And yeah, I had the two that I remember the most, the one that's the most memorable. Two things that happened, Justin Silver called me. Okay, dose Camino started doing delivery. This is like before, does

you call you for direct delivery? No, do Justin call me over some John these don't make some table side guam these these dogs want some case My dogs are barking for some Can you bring over a sign of free homies So he did they have shrimp enchiladas at those comedos. Yeah, interesting open face. I'd get close face if you knew the chef. Yeah, I don't remember them there I remember the shrimp piece of the idea there the shrimp case idea. What did I say the shrimp? What I said? A lot of our acapoco and we never go there together. There was no shrimp. I know there's a shrimp case idea that again

He's close to the thing yesterday when she said We were watching man versus food and he was making egg rolls at one point, and it was shrimp one. And I go, shrimp inside, like, cause it was more like a burrito, it seemed like they're an egg roll. And I'm like, shrimp inside a burrito. No, I'm sorry, he was at a place

getting a shrimp burrito. And I'm like, that's weird to put inside a burrito shrimp. And she goes, shrimp enchiladas are like, one of my favorite foods of all time. And I went 10 years, we've been together. I've never seen an order it. Think about it, mention it before this, and she goes, Aka paaka, this place you never go to when we're in LA three times in 10 years we've

gone there. I said now they're the crab and shrimp enchiladas, but I order them without the crab. I've been arguing that they're delicious. I've been arguing that it's delicious. I've been arguing that. That's a good. But you're saying it's one of your favorite fruit now. You said you said shrimp enchiladas are one of your favorite foods in the world. The shrimp enchiladas from Acapoco. But you started a lot of fun.

You started a lot of fun. You started a lot of fun. So I said, and I think there was a place Pacifico. She's like trying to walk them down with it She's like shrimp and jaladas from acapoco shrimp and jaladas We know Shrapace a lot of some acapoco But I they started doing delivery right and I wanted to smoke and there are like the delivery guy didn't show up

And they're like we need someone to go deliver and it was like mid afternoon when the lunch rush was over and I was closing. So they're like, so do you can keep the tip if you go deliver? It was the old K-Rock 40 West 57. So I was already freaking out about that. When I saw the address, I'm like, this feels mean because I was fired from CBS radio.

So I was like, this fuck, I gotta go deliver food now in my all blacks. And Justin called me on my phone So I was like, this fuck, I gotta go deliver food now in my all blacks. And Justin called me on my phone and he's like, what are you doing? And I was about to tape live at Gotham. And he's like, I'm on a food delivery, he goes, what do you mean? You're doing live at Gotham on Friday.

And I go, I know, I need it. I still need to work, Justin. And he goes, that's crazy. You're gonna tape for comedy central and you're still delivering food. And I'm like, they're gonna pay you $75, that's crazy. You're gonna take for comedy central and you're still delivering food. And I'm like, they're gonna pay you $75,000 for that. So you're really shit.

I know. I feel like three hundred bucks. And then did live at Gotham, it aired. And I was like, you know how that feels like when you did come, your first thing on TV, you're like, this gonna change my life. I'm gonna be a comedian now. I'm gonna go on the road.

I'm gonna have stories. This is gonna happen. And nope, you're supposed to be working next to Christine going. Are you on premium? The best was it was it aired in December and we were you know that midtown restaurants do a lot of Christmas parties And it was all a huge Christmas party and it was a lunch like a 12-top and I was clearing it with another waiter And I cleared this lady's salad and she was like fuck all foods and I was like it with another waiter and I cleared this lady's salad and she was like, fuck all foods. And I was like, what's up? And she goes, fuck all foods.

And I was like, I don't, she goes, I saw you on Comedy Central on Friday. And I was like, oh, this hurts. How is like, are you done with this cup salad? And she was like, I cause I had a joke about fuck all foods and I was like, uh, uh, uh, oh, oh no. And then another time this old rich man had this trophy wife and she was like,

I saw you hosting an East, she goes, you're a comedian like that when I came to the table and I was like, what? And she goes, I saw you at Eastville and I was like, oh, well, I'm your waiter. It's so uncomfortable. Wait, wait, wait, wait! It's so uncomfortable.

I tell you the only thing I remember that hurt the most was Emily Heller, but I believe Wright's Barry. Yeah, she's on the writing staff on there. I think she's like the writer. Really? Yeah, it's written by Emily Heller on all those episodes. The show's fucking great. So good on her.

But she was getting ready to open for me on a San Fran punchline and the week or two weeks before. She came to me when I was still running karaoke for a good need of the money. Yeah. And she goes up, she goes, she's making like $20. Like, can you put on, can you put me,

move me up the list? And I was like, I'm not taking your money or anything like that. And I was like, I'm moving up, she wanna go up. And then she came back over and she was like, she was like, you sure I can't? And she's like, you don't have a tip chart, anything like that?

And I was like, no. I've been asked like that before, trying to give tips before and said, no, which is so stupid. You can't do a job like karaoke DJ and have a fucking ego. Yeah. That was my mistake. How many people are just like, hey man,

here's a hundred bucks, great stuff tonight, like for doing, not in the comedy I've turned down tips a million times, because I think that's, I don't know, that seems tacky, but I was DJing with the guys, but hey man, a hundred bucks put my song next, I should've been like, yeah,

if I was karaokeing today, you would do that. And I don't need it to do it, if I was like, oh this is fun, and someone goes, a hundred dollars put me up next, and go, yeah dude, that's always fucking dumb, I asked him what he's stupid. Let's party.

Yeah, you know, easy that is? Yup. Yeah. You probably just gonna ask nice and I would have done it. So she was insisting on tipping you. Uh, yeah, it was so funny. It was so funny. I was like, dance stuff with a dollar.

It was like, it was like, it was, it was 20. It wasn't 20. It was just like, dance stuff to the car. She just had no idea that Jay was a comic or anything. No, that she did. It was just uncomfortable. No, no, no, a comic or anything. And it was just a comfortable. No, no, no, here's the thing. And then she comes back over.

She goes, oh my God, she goes, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you. And I was like, all right, she goes, I'm actually opening for you in two weeks since San Francisco. She just tried to lay a book on it. I know remember there was a night where there was like an inside Amy Schumer party. And I was like, why are they having Jay host karaoke for this comedy essential party like you think somebody'd give them a heads up so you could like take the night off

It was so weird horrible that was I was like why are you here while bumping in people? That was after the first Emily Helmer thing was after John Oliver taping and then they had the Amy Schumer Holy I and then they had the Amy Schumer, holy. I was de-ca- Diochi DJ. The worst getting found wasn't someone that had seen my comedy. When I was at Arizona, there was like a summer where a mere banged, because a mere was really good looking kid.

Yeah. He banged the hot girl in the hot sorority. So way out of our social reach, but a mere is just jacked and he's, you know, good looking guy So he banged her and then she realized he was an idiot and didn't hang out with him But she was so hot and she was on the weakest link college edition. She was the dumbest person They asked her what effect the weakest link. Yeah, they asked her what century World War two was in and she said the 70s Yeah, they asked her what century World War II was in and she said the 70s. Okay.

I remember that answer and I was like, damn, that's a dumb person. And she said one of the other questions, she's like the 1470s. I wish all the faces get weird, she had the 540, 1400s. But this girl Lauren was like, you know, like known at Arizona is being one of the hot girls

at Arizona. And so it was like, and it's just crawling with hot chicks. So what I mean, I mean, that wanted zero to do with me, but they wanted to fuck him here, cause he drove an outy, cause he sold enough weed,

that he bought an outy, and he like banged this girl, and then they realized he's a mimbo, and then they're like, I don't wanna be around this guy. And he's like, yeah, you wanna hang out with me? Yeah, I didn't need to push it.

Yeah, Melissa's pussy gets mad when I go over 100. Sorry, he fucked this girl. And I met her like three times, four times. But I knew like, oh, that girl Lauren Blank, like yeah, Mir, she, it was just known. Dude, I'm at dose, it's the summer, it's hot. I'm working a lunch shift. There's a six top of like young finance

bros with girls. It's like a five o'clock table, you know what I mean? So they're like happy hour partying. And this girl just goes, I know you. And I look and it's her. And I was like, oh, you know me? And she goes, you went to Arizona. And I was like, I did. And she went, were you roommates with a mirror? And I was like, yeah, that's me. I was just I did and she went were you roommates with a mirror and I was like Yeah, that's me. I was just standing there and she was like oh my god. That's so random and I was like yeah Yeah, sure is random so hurtos enchiladas Once a moly poblano ones a tomatillo. What the fuck are you doing here?

Dude, she went I swear to God she went has it going you know it. I'm waiting on you Oh, and she went oh Okay, and like oh my god, you know walk away be like I want to go smoke a cigarette can I go smoke a cigarette? That's so much. I'm the guy that ghosted me like was on a date with another girl on Valentine's day posted me, like was on a date with another girl on Valentine's Day. And I just had to get fleetly, I can like run away from the situation. Did he see you? No.

I like hate. But just being face to face with that and being like, there's nothing I can do and I need your money. Like, I fucking need it. I know. So anyway, tips are appreciated. You know what I'd be sick is if you took me to prove I'm into the dip in me once.

Oh shit. I almost took myself out to dose communities. You almost took yourself out. Oh, no. I was in shock. I was in need packing district. I was killed myself with that I got recognized somewhere. I was in need packing district and I was starving

and there's a dose down there. Yeah, 14. I was like, kind of look, but I just felt sad to like go by myself. Like, when we get like solo guacamole, I went in and they went before I knew they showed me tables like walk alone. I got a big and egg and cheese and ate it at one of the tables. No, when they, when they told me they were closing the, because I were both Christine worked and I on the third avenue one on 50th and third and they bought

the change to building. So they were shutting down the restaurant and I was like I'm gonna go by myself. I'm a fucking tip a hundred percent. Yeah, and I did we went sat in cocktail and I got a guacamole or whatever I knew one of the food runners knew me really yeah, that was fun Roberto He came from when you were there. Yeah, he dropped it off and he was like What and I was like what's up Roberto? And he's like Good bus. What the fuck? And I was like, oh yeah, like I do comedy now. And he's like, bro, he's like, I'm American. Dude, I had a future.

I was just here. I'm just taking care of your family doing. Oh my god, you're sending back money. Oh my god. Did you get coyote here for this? Oh my god, it's so fucking sad to Caryllus saying that there's tiny and more shippable. More shippable.

So fucking funny, but dude that Seeing them it's like seeing them in life, you know, where you're like oh man, you're out You're fucking out. You're like yeah, dude. That's so funny It's not Miguel. I know I saw Roberto Miguel and then this kid John that I used to know that was a busser that was now like a manager there Yeah, going back and seeing my ex girlfriend be like in her 30s and just like poorly working at a at a wall. I was pretty red at a wall. Yeah, yeah, her Nicole You're like sister managed. Yeah, my sister was like her boss. What?

Yeah, and did you know Nicole work there? Yeah, yeah, they knew that she worked there. So we went over to go look at her wait, but how did you show Christine? I can't hold on I can't see a lot of she was fat and then like six months later. look at her. Wait, but how did she? Oh, the show Christine. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on.

I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on.

I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can't even hold on. I can I don't know. I'm sure it was a problem. I'm sure it was a problem.

But I'm saying she looked like, that's how she looked when I met like, she looked like thin. She wasn't like a morbidly obese when I was with her. How did you get tipped off that Nicole worked there? Did your sister start looking there? And she was like, you'll never guess who works here. I think probably nearly told me. Well, it's weird my mother

I think I think he passed away, but her uncle and my mom like worked together also for Yeah Like Tyler says it like her uncle and your cousin build wawa's yeah, my uncle built wawa's yeah my cousins and you're a cousin, Billed Wawa's. Yeah. My uncle Billed Wawa's. Yeah. My cousin's, well not exactly building them. He designs them, she's like an architect for Wawa.

Yeah, I'm saying. I think Kyle is uncle is doing grunt work. Yeah. I think he's doing that six by eight. Yeah, he's doing that six by eight. My cousin knows anything about that, but she plots it out. I'm saying that he was the only, he's like,

I'm the only one that knows construction and it's funny. I really got me. I know, he's like, it's me. He's not wrong. He thought some of that shit. I was like, I have no fucking clue. I'm telling you right now, when he used to do it on love line, I think I should use the word Joyce to see if that meant anything to him.

Joyce is the wood at the stand. He would do this thing with guests where he would be like, it would be so specific that you knew what he knew. You understood the he knew what he was talking about the way he would question them, where he'd be like, all right, I got something. I'm laying some slate. How do I break it up? And they're just like, I don't know.

He's like, come on, dammit. You use a fucking, like this kind of hammer. And you're like, I didn't, I don't even know what you mean. Yeah, congratulations, your father loved you Adam Corolla. Congratulations, you were around real men and not ladies telling secrets like me and J were. When you, so your sister's like, yeah, Nicole's working here.

Yeah, she's working over there to Wal-Wal where I work. You got to see this. You got to see this. When you walked in where you like, I'm not worth it, the same, which was she making sandwiches or was she behind the counter. She was behind the counter, but she started like fudzing around a little bit. She was stalking.

Did you see you and she was like, did you walk up to her first and go like, hey Nicole, I think you were hugged. Said hello, introducing. And were you with them? Yeah, and Christine's like, no, I don't know. I introduced Christine. No, no, no.

When we left there, we were both like, damn dude. She just doesn't look good. I mean, she was like, again, she was morb we left there we were both like damn dude. It just doesn't look good I mean she was like again. She was morbidly obese at the time and like Just sadly working underneath my sister and a fucking wall wall It's like 40 and then when you came back. She probably 40 now at least when you came back and she was all skinny Did you like what's really like yeah, were's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's

the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's

the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the healthy. Yeah, it was a drop. You look great. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm like, oh yeah, there's Nicole. Yeah. Did you walk Christine in by holding your hand and then twirl her in front of Nicole? And you know, man, this could have been Christine fell high, like how I felt when I go to the gathering the jugalos yeah, walked in she goes, oh, well, I'm definitely way hotter than this one. Yeah, oh, no question. Dan point Evans point. There's nothing we go back at you as thin, she was thin, but she probably had a drug problem and also

You're gonna win on age there Yeah, she's been booze since like afternoon probably probably have you ever seen have you seen any of Christine's X's in person? Yeah, and they're always you know, it's fun and I always feel I don't know It's always a thing where I'm like damn you don't give a fuck at all to her Yeah, I thought I know when I see them I'm like I'm like you don't give a fuck like I'm not in good company at all No, that's not sure the one you look wise. Oh, yeah, of course you foreign over a handsome guy who called you fat and Played his face to give you raspberries on your tummy before you jack him off. Yeah, but the guys who liked like like Christine and were in a thing with her, it's always like.

So I'm like, remember the, you ever see the movie Identity? The guy who the whole thing's happening in his head. Yeah. The one guy she was in love with looked like like that at one point when I saw a patient. Sweetheart of the guy. Look at a patient, a patient. Yeah, and this was the one she was like, oh, this is my own again, off again, non-stop,

fucking thing, I've never saw the guy, you lost your virginity too. I've never seen the drug dealer. You can't be around each other. Uh, yeah, because he has herpes, doesn't he? No, no, no, That's the different guy. Oh, I don't know. Oh, that's right.

That's not who you lost your Virginia, too. There, uh, yeah, it's weird to... They can't be around each other. It's a passion's too high. It's too high. Get into, get the fuck over here. Make love to me. Yeah, Katie feels like she's in Mensa compared to all my exes.

Yeah. Katie's like, damn, you were really playing down mentally. But you had some to your exes. Yeah. Everyone that is just, she feels like. But she feels like she's in company though of like looks wise. Yeah. She goes, oh, Dan's dated pretty girl.

She calls them show ponies. Yeah. She goes, you like the lot of show ponies. You did like some show ponies. Yeah, and the thing is like, things like I'm the first one that's ever mentally challenged. Yeah. And the first time we met, you're like, she was just so hot. Yeah, the day of these girls are in her 30 with good teeth.

So wept away. Dan's like, I gotta go feed a carrot to my girlfriend. Yeah. Hey everyone. Guys, look at this clean hair. Yeah. This is Tiffany. You guys wanna watch us do a routine?

You wanted to go through a routine. Do it. That's look at this clean hair. Yeah, this is Tiffany You wanted to go through a routine do it jump over Christine is like my girlfriend history. She's like some good company. If you just talk about people I fucked It's all over the place It's all over the phone. I know once you gave your heart to yeah, people people we gave your heart. Yeah Christine gave her heart to just some I didn't get my heart to anyone other fuckers, huh? I think it might hurt to anyone. Yes, you did no way didn't do the Sirius boyfriends. I've never met any Series boyfriends. These are guys Things with though. You didn't want you to have like long things with the one your your friends

Why guys I fucked for years like on and off your friend your friends. Why the guys I fucked for years, like, on and off, that's just what it is. Your friends cousin. I mean, the picture you said, like, we were out of the one time, he looks like fucking Tommy Wazoo. He's aged fully. If he looks like Tommy Wazoo, it's crazy. This is the guy she was sad. She almost didn't leave Los Angeles to come to New York

because of him and was pining for him when she got here. Tommy Wazoo. That's so fucking funny. No, I did not want her to leave Los Angeles to come to New York because of him and was pining for him when she got here. Tommy was oh That's so fucking funny. No, I did not want her to leave Los Angeles. I did not oh high mark a high Christine No, don't leave I want you to go. I did not hit her. I did not oh high Christine. Have you Black Lou have you met any of your wife sex boyfriends? She has no ex-boyfriends. What you kill him off? I'm the first one Yeah, you're first long time boyfriend really first everything. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I like him We really is she met any of your exes lots wait really she's met a lot something We were friends first for a long time. That's how it started. She was first everything. We broke her in like a mitt.

I like that. Put some rubber bands around her. That's more. Yeah, he put a softball in her and put rubber bands around her. Yeah, he goes, don't worry, three years. That'll be a thing to be soft on for a Saturday morning catch. Did she hate any of your exes? No, she doesn't hate them, but she does prefer that they have no contact with me. Yeah, at all. Makes sense. Yeah. DJ love. You got an apikit Michelle's exes at all? No, I never want to see her exes. The king of baron. You want to see him? You're not curious? No way. Why would it be curious? Why don't I want to be jealous? She was showing

me prom pictures and I wasn't into it. I'm like, I don't want to be jealous of some fucking fricking face kid. Oh, look at this ass log. hey, Mr. whiskey. Hey, turns into, oh, is that what you like? You know, I don't get anything like these guys. What is that? That's more when we were hooking up the one that you saw. Okay, on the on the right. Yeah, that one. I fucked a dog. Doug's it. Doug's Tommy was oh, by the way. Dude, that's great. I did not. No. That's more when it was. No.

Yeah. Well, Christine, by all accounts, you should be married to someone like a, someone microwaved Paul Verzi. That's what you should be with. Has she met any of yours? Oh, shit. Yeah, she stalked my Facebook and all my social media and checked out who I was with for the last 10 years

What did she say? Damn dude, she did a fool. She wasn't into it. She didn't like it. Does she? Is she like what the hell were you doing? It seems like you still like them? What does that mean why? Because I keep their pictures up. What? Like my Facebook. I see your pictures of you and them together up Yeah, who gives a shit? Moment in time. You really shouldn't give up. Yeah, who gives a shit right moment in time You really shouldn't give a shit about that who gives a fuck?

Thanks buddy. Thank you. Yes, Christine. Oh Sakes goes really Christine started pulling down when you got sober. Is that when you started pulling down your drunk pictures? No, it was Brian Boldinger He was calling me to set up an interview for comics and he said, let me get your Facebook. And it was the first time somebody professionally asked for Facebook and I took everything down like all my drunk stuff down before I added him. Smart. He's Christy. I didn't have like a, I got friends. Hello,. Yeah data. You don't want that past now that the past is all online

And someone could just see it and you're like, oh, I don't know about you know, dude Lewis reminding me today On lesion of skanks. I forgot this so much. We were younger and just like Just non-stop horn dog like mid-twenties And we go on the road where we were going the road because we post on I forgot this until he said by fully remember now We would post on Craigslist casual encounters. We're like two entertainers looking for some fun no strings attached To that is so I forgot what he said it. I was like I absolutely remember by the way What do you talk about when we went to go to the business center to post it and then go back down This isn't like cell phones The business center in the hotel and then go back down and see goes any emails back. What's up?

You never work No, I don't think there's ever even a response ever Craigslist personal is I mean they're gone now, but what a time. Yeah, I didn't realize it was so funny. Yeah, W-M for W. Yeah, being Christina stuff of the girl off at one time ever, and it was so weird. One of the most depressing moments in my life was when my mom was like,

I tried dating on Craigslist. I was like, can you never have said that to me? She goes, you go back and remember? She's, oh, wait, oh, that was great. We're on a date. I got a new armor. She goes, check that out. You see that, see that throw pillow?

Somebody was gonna throw that away. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Do we have to wrap this thing up? We fucking. Yeah. You want your ass off today, dog? Tor throw. Dude, was that sarcastic?

Take this job and shove it. Was it, all right? We being sarcastic? I mean, kick off. Take a break. Dude, was that sarcastic? Take this job and shove it. Was it alright? Weaving sarcastic? Yeah, I mean, take off. Take a break, this is what I'm saying. Um, well, I'm gonna miss you, buddy. You're gonna be up in Montreal. I am.

I'm in currently in Montreal in real time. Just for laughs, the nasty show. Jay's gonna be hosting it all festival long. Just for laughs, Montreal. Go to bigjcomedy.com to get tickets and see all the words Is happening and doing the worst he's gonna be doing stuff. Yeah come check out all the stuff from doing please big jay comedy dot com for all that information A where he's gonna be at just for laughs where he's gonna be after Montreal so go make sure you check out big jay comedy dot com They have so does gonna be it's coma comedy club in Washington state July 21st to the 23rd

comedy club in Washington state July 21st to the 23rd. And after that, he's going to Oklahoma. They are waiting for you. The dog one night then one night being greets. We'll see. And Phoenix for tickets and all the tour dates, go to dancoder.com. Also bonfire podcast releasing new episodes Tuesday through Friday. So go download rate, review, and subscribe if you're friends.

Don't also make sure you check out the Pandora playlist of the week by searching bonfire SXM this week it's big J's Christine turn that shit off now playlist a lot of Annie DeFranco a lot of ladies Loving their womanhood. Oh, happy period week. We love you guys very much We're gonna be off next week, but then we'll be back as a family. Oh, yeah, we're off next week You make sure you have a safe week. We love you and we'll be back as a family. Oh yeah, we're off next week. Make sure you have a safe week. We love you. And we'll be back right after that.

Jobless. You mind your cousin? A bank? City Chief. He's a queen. Hey buddy. Good. Back chapters. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it.

I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it.

I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if you can see it. I'm not sure if a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this.

I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this.

I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be a fan of this. I'm not gonna be till it strikes the award I'm gonna rock it till it strikes the award I'm gonna rock it till it strikes the award I'm gonna rock it till it strikes the award W and B And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. I'm here to talk to you about something that sucks bad. Do you or a loved one suffer from peronies?

You might be asking yourself, what's peronies? It's when your dog looks like one of those inflatable things out of the car dealership, like Barbarra's the best up on the Boulevard. Peronis's easy is score to issue inside the penis that causes curved, painful boners. If your boner hurts, you probably have Peronis. But don't worry, Peronis affects tons of dudes. Here are a few testimonials from guys who got mangled dogs. This is Shane from Roxbrow.

I mean, the day I got my peronies, I was just driving home regular day of work. I was, you know, stuck in traffic on 76, just daydreaming, think about Keith Primo, scoring on a pico power play for a case of tasty cakes, not unusual. Listen to Bonfire, I hear them, they're talking about this dude named Roman Palombo.

So I googled him, check him out. And turns out he was pretty hot and I didn't know I had those types of feelings. So I started getting a biker. And before this I wasn't too religious but my one uncle Steve told me that if I were turn gay he would come down from heaven and bend my dick. And next thing I know I'm sitting in traffic with the hardest banner I've ever had, bent under the pressure of my car hearts right against my dungaries, bent so hard that now I got peronies and now I can't even go down to

a wall walk because all the guys know about it, they make fun of me, they get every time I order a hoagie they just give me a bent hoagie. I say yo will you toast my hoag they're like now I will give you a bent hoagie you fucking weirdo get out of here with your gay peronies. So yeah, peronies isn't fun. It's not a joke. Beezer from South Philly. Yo, it's me Beezer.

So last year, I finally graduated from the Lincoln Tech University School, with a degree in cars and shit. To celebrate, it's me and my boy Ed Reynolds. We get out on two streets to have some sweet ass nail gun fight. We get down there and fucking Eddie gets all nutty and shit, starts firing off like 6 frame in nails right in my dick and balls region.

And he ain't used to no black and dacker pussy pump like those retards in local 138 use. I'm talking brand new the Walt 20 Volt. Right at it. Sucking down urgent care and the black chick workings like you know on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad your dick bent pain And I'm like 69 bitch. What's up? And she's like you got Peroni's disease And I was like first off I ain't got no gay homo disease alright. I got Irish weekend coming up in two days And I ain't missing it for this made up shit and she's like no. It's a real disease

It's called Peroni's and I was like do I get percussive for it? And she's like no and I'm like fuck you like, do I get percussive for it? And she's like, no, and I'm like, fuck you. Help men like this go to www.healthwellfinalization.org. And together, together, together. Together, we can help these men unbend their dogs. FOOTSTEPS You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!