The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Aruba Bonfire

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Actress Edie Falco has just left the studio and the mood in the room is still high. The guys want to bleach their beards and broadcast the Bonfire from Aruba. This leads to a conversation about Aruba murderer Jordan van der Sloot. Jay used to watch Twin Peaks until it paralyzed him with fear. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Waka jo koi. Oh! Yo, I'm Paco, Waka Maka, Waka Hickey. Hickey, Paco. Hicca Waka, Wicky Hackey. Paco. Paco Waka, Waka Wackey, Wackey. Waka Wackey, Tui Wackey, Tui. Now it's racist he has to leave to get to fire twirling class.

That's racist. He has to go put a helmet on. Homa Waka, hey, Homa, hey. He has to go deliver Shake Shack to somebody right now. I think I have to get a chest x-ray after work because I think I'm going to die under anesthesia tomorrow. What are you going, first of all, what are you going under anesthesia for? For the stupid thing they're doing to my Eustachian tubes in my ears.

What the fuck is a Eustachian tube? You can get pregnant? Yeah. My fallopians. What's a Eustachian tube? They're opening up my fallopians. It's like inner ear shit. What's it called?

They're going to open it, station you station and they're gonna Put like a balloon in there and like expand it, but it's such a short thing And I'm now going back to my third appointment of pre-op. I had to get a CT scan I had to get a now I have to get a chest x-ray and a whole physical You don't have to go in the machine though. You just stand up No, this cat skin was a machine and go in the machine though. You just stand up. No, the CAT scan was a machine. Chest x-ray should be, hopefully just stand up. You know what, when I did my surgery.

You just got it, Lou, right? Yeah, I just got it. It's quick. What did they say? What's that? They said I do not have lung cancer. That's it? Yeah.

That's how you told them to check for? Well, for a year from quitting smoking, I'm good, they said. Really? Well, I mean, my lungs aren't great, but they are cancer-free and pretty clean. Oh. Jay, I'm gonna, they said. Really? Well, I mean, my lungs aren't great, but they are cancer-free and pretty clean. Oh. Jay, I'm gonna say this.

Yeah? It's time to stop something. Drinking so much water? No, paint. I know you're right, I should go back to soda. Painting your fingernails. Oh. We need you to stop that.

That's where the cancer's gonna come from, that gay fingernail part. Lead paint? Yeah. Do you use lead paint for these? That Chinese fusion blue that you're wearing. Yeah. The concert's over.

Go back to black. Yeah. Well, you gotta quit smoking, dude. I do. You gotta quit smoking. I know. That's why I have to get the chest x-ray. Why?

Because so what it was on all of my paperwork, they keep putting me down as non-smoker and I'm like, no, no, I correct it every time I go, no, no, I smoke, plenty. And they're like, oh, okay. And then they just go and then I see it marked again, not so today when Christine called the place, they were like, she goes, oh, also, by the way, they keep having me as non-smoker, but he smokes. And he goes, he smokes?

Which I'm like, I've told the doctor that before, for sure. The main doctor who's doing the surgery. It sounds like they're looking for something to deny. Not do it. It's what it seems like too, because today they were like, ooh, anesthesiologists might say no to that if you didn't get a chest x-ray if he smokes,

and you're like, phew. I think they don't wanna know because they didn't know that I smoked for 30 years either. They don't wanna know, so if something does happen and you die on the table. It's not their fault, right? That's fine. Just let me die on the table Stop telling me I have to keep doing all these tests to make sure I don't die on the table So if they give you a chest x-ray tomorrow, then what are they doing after work tonight? What are they looking for? I Don't know

cancer Are you looking for like a like a white blotch on your lung? I hope they're not looking for whatever's gonna come up when I go, ugh, because that's what's probably in there. Gunk. How many, what do you smoke, a pack and a half a day? No, a pack. A pack a day.

Yeah, you gotta quit, man. It's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're not 30 anymore. I know. You're not 40 anymore. I know you're not 40 anymore You're not 45 below cool last night fucking cool shit So cool dude, but last night I looked so cool. I'm gonna be honest with you. Yeah, I haven't smoked in over 10 years Yeah

But I remember how cool it did look so cool. I remember when you smoked I remember taking my sick early, putting it on the table with my lighter on top. Bobby was a hold it, Bobby was also, he would hold the, I call that the pool cue grip. Yeah, I did this too. I did the, and every once in a while I did the trivolta where I'd go, I'd go ring finger, middle finger,

and do that, take a little puff when I felt risky. Hold it like that? Yeah, when I do the, like that. That's a weird one. That's a weird one, but every once in a while, I got weird. I'll do the upside down, like in the fingers like that, where you kind of, because they're kind of keeping it low,

too, and we were smoking indoors in the garden yesterday, you know, you gotta keep it low. Wait, Lou was smoking? Huh? Lou was smoking? You smoke cigarettes? No, no. I smoked weed. I only had a few in me of like, of no don'ts, you know, you're not someone, but I was gonna be like, I was prepared more to be, but you never even asked.

Yeah, you have three don't do that, and then, all right, fuck it. You're right, but he didn't even ask me, and I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it.

I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it.

I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm was gonna be like, I was prepared more to be like, but you never even asked. Yeah, you have three don't do that, and then, all right, fuck it. You're right, but he didn't ask at all. He just, he did chewed some Nicorette, right? Yeah. You were chewing some gum, and we drank.

Yeah, I mean, I beat cigarettes, it's not a thing anymore, and I don't, I. I love that. You didn't smoke, but you drank, you did drugs, you had nicotine, some. A little pot. You did everything, you got a hooker. We killed a hooker. You did't smoke, but you drank, you did drugs, you had nicotine, some. You did everything, you got a hooker. We killed a hooker.

You did everything else, you did all the gateway shit. I would have been down for a hooker, but no, we didn't. Did you get drunk last night? No, pretty good, I mean, we went on, what, maybe three runs? Three beer runs, and then we had water at the end. Yeah, I think I had four white calls. So no, it wasn't crazy. Good weed.

The big ones? Yeah, we'll tell. You had the big ones, you had the blue ones to match your fingernails? Yeah. But we already told all this on Wednesday's live show about the concert, what a magical night it was. New fan Jay, new fan of Pearl Jam.

It was a magic, well you already heard, everybody already heard what my review is. So if you get, if they say you can't do this, surgery, doesn't that make you nervous now? Because they're like, if you do the surgery, aren't you going to be a little nervous because the smoking is an issue with the anesthesiologist? It's not so much, they just had him marked as a nonsmoker,

so I caught it for his CAT scan. And I was like, they have you marked as a nonsmoker, you have to tell them that. Can you move that microphone so you don't arch your back like a tranny? They just had him marked as a nonsmoker, so I caught it for his CAT scan. And I was like, they have you marked as a nonsmoker, you have to tell them that. Can you move that microphone so you don't arch your back like a tranny? And then I just mentioned it in passing today. And that's when I was like, oh, by the way,

he's a smoker and they just didn't give him a prescription for the chest x-ray. And so there's a chance that the anesthesiologist would deny the surgery because of that. So I'm like, well'll just go get it done, so that's not a problem. You know, I'd rather, like, if it gets denied because there was something in the x-ray to deny it, fine.

But if it gets denied because it wasn't done... Well, not fine. That means I kept something terrible happening. No, but you don't feel anything, right? I all, but I just live in constant, like, weird pains and pings and pangs, so I don't know if I'm overthinking. You live in constant like weird pains and pings and pangs. So I don't know if I overthink it you You live in Paco's grandmother. Yeah, ping pangs house

That's how you say Nana Pings and pang ping black blue when you don't have a beard you look like a nice black kid in the neighborhood in the 70s show Look like the other like the black kid and stranger thing not even him Just like what that guy represents. Here's the black friend in a group of white guys Black guy with dimples doesn't look tough. Yeah. Yeah, I've been called Carlton my whole life So I grow that beard back get that back. I don't see you You and me like but I'm same way. I get rid of this beard dude. It is He looks like a what? A cherub.

She doesn't even know. She's never seen it. I've seen it. I mean, not like in person, but pictures. When? When I was like a kid? And couldn't grow one? That's not really what I mean.

There were also times where you used to shave your beard like really low where it was barely there. Not on purpose. Like they would do it too low and then it would almost look like you didn't have a beard Oh Especially my face was fatter. It was like pretty bad. You did an episode of the I love the 1880s where you had the low shade is too short short. Oh That must have murdered me inside. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's the worst. Yeah, I need a beard

I'm sure although I said I haven't with my face is a little bit thinner now murdered me inside. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's the worst. Yeah, I need a beard for sure. Although I said, I haven't, with my face is a little bit thinner now, I don't know what it would look like, quite honestly, but when I was a fat, it's like 20-something year old my whole life, and you know, through my 30s and everything, it's the idea of that,

you see the shape of my face, you'd be like, dude, I look like a fuckin' pineapple. That's what Isabelle used to draw when she would draw me. She goes, you're very easy to draw. She says to me that she drew a pineapple, put eyes and nose on it and she's not wrong. I think you look good in a beard. I'm shaving my beard. I don't, I don't like my beard. I love it. What the fuck, Jacob? Is that Jacob, honey? Is that you? What'd you say?

Just dropped my computer on the floor. Oh, okay. Hey man. Hey, chill dude. Hey bro. I'm sorry dude. Listen, we're just we're just pointing it out We're just pointing out that there was a noise. How's the temperature in here? I think fell everything everything's okay. I know it might be a little chilly, but miss Falco liked it cold. I Understand you dropped something. It wasn't to distract the show. How did your interview go? Splendid good buddy Just the way we thought it would you know no hiccups at all just Don't worry Bobby's in the ground. He's trying to find it for you fucking pussy

Bobby slow is everything okay, it's all good slow You don't know the new Jacob. I just let things roll off of me What oh stop being so noisy asshole? I just let things roll off of me. Oh. What? Oh. Stop being so noisy, asshole. You're a little in a china shop. Yeah, you fucking loser. We're having a good time, and you ruined the moment. New Jacob, don't give a fuck.

Oh, my lord. I'm sick of everybody telling me my beard looks good, too. It doesn't look good. No, it doesn't. What don't you like about it? It doesn't look good. You don't like that it's gray. I don't like that it's gray, and my hair doesn't look good. No, it doesn't. What don't you like about it? It doesn't look good. You don't like that it's gray. I don't like that it's gray and my hair doesn't connect

from my ear to my chin. The only part. Yes it does. No, it doesn't. I'm looking at it. There's little patches. It doesn't come in, like certain people have those beards, like a Joe Rogan testosterone.

I'm jealous of that. Not Rogan. Rogan's a terrible example. No, he's got that. He's got that facialan's a terrible example. No, he's got that. He's got that facial hair where there's like. No, he's got stubble. No, but I know what you're talking about. There's people who just grow.

Who's a good beard hair person? Joe Rogan is a fucking great example. He doesn't even have a beard ever. Does he have a beard? But my point is this, is that his hair on his face is that thick. You're assuming what Joe Rogan's beard would be. Bring up Joe Rogan.

He has a five o'clock shadow at 8 a.m. in the morning. Five o'clock shadow is not beard. It's not a beard, but he could grow a thick beard. Very possible. I'm just saying, you don't know what his beard texture is. I think we're fighting over something we don't. This is not the war I wanna go in. Who's got good beard texture?

Dan St. Germain. No, no. Look it, I'm right! Thank you, Christine. Can you say it in the't know no look it. I'm right. Thank you Christine Can you say it in the microphone, please Bobby? You're right. Thank you. Yeah No, he does right you're right. He does have the right kind of facial hair. Thank you, Jay Can you say sorry into the microphone? Sorry, can you say sorry? Can you say to me? Sorry? He does have a big beard beard. You don't know how to say say it sorry. Yes. I know you say it like AI sorry

Sorry, Robert. You know I have made a mistake I don't like that fucking word Christine distinguished. I don't want to be distinguished You look elderly I mean, that's a more honest word. Yeah, but everybody's like, dude, you look great with your beard, but it's just... You look like you read to bed. No, I don't read to bed.

I watch Criminal Minds to bed. Okay. Can we dye it? What color? We keep saying, why don't we dye our beards? I was just talking about the other day, I go, should I see what just ferment in my beard? I'm not, like, embarrassed of it.

I also don't hate my... It works. I'm saying I don't hate the Men in my beard does? I'm not like embarrassed of it. I also don't hate my, It works. I'm saying I don't hate the gray in my beard. I don't care, but I would just be curious to see what like, what it looks like. Let's do it, let's dye it this weekend. Okay. Monday we come in with dyed beards.

It's easy, you just buy it, when you're in the shower just keep it on for two minutes and then rinse it right off. We're not stupid. I thought you combed it through. Do you think we don't know how to read directions on Just For Men? Well, he's done it.

I'm telling you, there's two different versions. Well, you already did something different. I've done it. I did it for years. You say Just For Men's the way to play it? No, there's a new one out though that you can get that you can use a little bit of it and then you can use that bottle for months.

Just For Men, you have to use it and then throw the whole thing out. No, no. Well, see, I use the gradually reducing, because then you can get the... you can stop when you want. Right. I haven't used it in a while, but I use it. I don't give a shit.

Should I do my temples, too? Get rid of the gray? Mm, I like the temples. It gives you, like, a superhero look. It will probably, all of this, for the effort effort of this will all come back to gray within three weeks I'm just saying for this initial time. Do you go all the way up? No, no, I say you just do your beard Do your beard and lighten it up? What should I do?

Darken it up. Should I do my should I do like a brown or a black? I'm gonna do jet black. You're gonna do jet black you do magician black Yeah, that's why I was gonna tell you to do what I do the gradually reducing gray because you don't want to like Josh Adam Meyers will have white hair white beard and then I'll come in looking like Jerry Lewis. It's great Yeah, overnight the next time you see I love that jet black that makes me laugh Well, I said I'm not trying to do this to hide anything

or like bring it slowly to a thing. I'm saying we'll come in, the bit is, we have just ferment hair ourselves. Oh yeah. For Monday, I'll do it for Monday. I can do it on Monday, right? Monday, but we got skanks. We got skanks coming up too.

We're gonna have this at skanks. Skank Fest. Skank Fest. No, three weeks? Three weeks. You think that'll stay in for three weeks? Sure. It'll start getting lighter.

I don't know, if you're gonna do the full dyed beard, like in one shot, come in like Josh. Totally. Now do I do just the goatee or do the whole beard? Whole beard, dude. I do the whole beard. Yes. We're going for it.

All right, Monday, Monday. We're gonna have dark beards on Monday. Dark beards on Monday. I'm excited. I'm excited to do it. It'll be great. Edie Falco, will Renette recognize me then? No. No, she won't. Are you gonna do black? It would take a thousand things, she'll never recognize you. I'm gonna do, nah, not black, what'd I do, dark brown, right? Dark brown.

I should do, what, black or dark brown? What's your original hair? Bobby has pretty black hair, actually. I had black hair, but I dyed it. I dyed my hair for a long, I went gray. You did? Yeah, dude, I went gray early. Me and Keith used to talk, we used to call it taking on medicine.

I was like, I'm gonna go to the doctor, I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I had black hair but I dyed it. I dyed my hair for a long time.

I went gray. You did? Yeah dude, I went gray early. Me and Keith used to talk, we used to call it taking on medicine. Was Keith gray early? Keith was, yeah dude, he's the one who got me in on the medicine. He used to darken his hair, Keith? I came to the cello one night.

I didn't know he lived a lie. And he was like, yo, yo son, you gotta get your medicine. I was like, what? He goes, your grays are coming in, your beard and your hair. You gotta get your medicine. I was like, what? He goes, your grays are coming in, your beard and your hair. You gotta get your medicine. I was like, what? He goes, you gotta get that just for men. Put your medicine in before you come out

so you look good. So I did it. And you loved it. Well, my hair was light brown and from using that it got darker. Yeah. But people just knew me from that. But I hated it because I would have to travel with...

So the whole time I knew you, when you had your little curly hairs on top, but I hated it because I would have to travel with. So the whole time I knew you, when you had your little curly hairs on top, you were living a lie to me? Not the beginning. I was not, look at me. I was not lying to you at the beginning. Promise? I promise you.

When you had this mustache and beard, the lines? I was lying. You were lying to me? I was lying. Comedian shirt, lies? Lies. Lies! Lies. Oh my God. Yeah. I was lying. Comedian shirt, lies? Lies. Lies! Lies.

Oh my God. Yeah, I got gray. I had that Irish gene, that Irish, black Irish gray. I went gray early, dude. It happens, it could happen. Christine's probably completely gray. Yeah, just about. Yeah, well, I know Dawn.

I told Dawn, just let your hair grow gray, because her root, ooh. That was you. My baby stomach wants to talk to Edie Falco. We were on Nourish Daddy. We, yeah, her hair. I just say, let it go gray, be you, you're done. I said that to Christina the other day,

I didn't mean it, and then she said something very disparaging, she was like, no, I probably will pretty soon, but I'm just not ready to yet, and I was like, no, no, don't ever. Christine, you'd look so great with gray. You'd look hot. When I'm...

What are you talking about? I like the gray hair look when it's actually grown out nice and sad. I'm just too young to do it yet. Like, I don't feel ready to... Do one streak. It was funny, I had a streak forever, and then I just started going gray all around.

Yeah, do that, like you get hit with a golf ball as a little girl. By the way. It just killed the roots. Grow a streak. Streak sounds cool. Steven Tyler did a streak, I loved it. But I don't know about all gray yet.

No. You're supposed to be my younger girl, but you can't look significantly older than me. Me and Rebecca are both almost completely gray, and I'm like, imagine if we just grew out our hair and we were running around Skankfest Fest just like two old biddies. Ew! It would actually look like Moon Tower.

Yeah. This is, this is, this is. We go to the salon before the fest to put blue and dye our roots. We're like, we're cool. Yeah. That was the greatest thing about shaving my head is that I didn't have to worry about my hair anymore.

When I started losing my hair, I used to have to pray it wasn't windy, pray it wasn't rainy, because I would make my hair, and then like spray it down. I would wet it, hang upside down, spray it, flip it back, spray it, and then pull down the widow's peak, and then I'd have to make sure it was dyed. I love how vain Bobby was. Oh, my God, you didn't even know.

I would get in a rage, because sometimes your hair doesn't do what you want it to do. Those bad hair days, and it wouldn't, like, go the way it had it, and I would just... I would wet it, redo it, flip it, spray it. Fuck!

And then wet it, whip it, flip it, spray it, fuck! And then wet it, whip it, flip it, spray it. And then I'd finally get it, and then you, oh, I was on dates with girls and it started to get windy, I'd like go into vestibules, I'd be like, come here for a second. Because I didn't want my hair to flip up like a wig. I am worried though that you're not gonna understand how to use the Just For Men when the instructions

don't say flip it, slip it, slap it, flap it. That was for my balding. Chomp it, flap it. That was for my balding. Chomp it, pump it. When I started to go bald. But the, the. Chomp it, pump it. Any hotel room curtains I've ruined with my Just From N bottle.

Oh, really? Oh, I just look over and it's just little black dots everywhere. Oh, I know, Christine's ruined our two apartments like that. Bathrooms by, I don't know what she does. She puts a dye in her hair and then just shakes like a dog, I guess, because it looks does. She puts a dye in her hair and then just shakes like a dog, I guess, because it looks like there's a bloody murder

happening there, and then I have to go, oh, it's that purpley dye. It doesn't come out of the tub either. That porcelain, it stays in the tub. It's the worst, too, because I think I cleaned everything up and then you walk away from it, and then like, you know, 15 minutes later you go back and there's a black streak on the door.

It's like murder. I'm like scrubbing the door. Week out from Skankfest, I need Christine to redo my red. Yeah. Can you just spray it? No. I mean, guess, but like. Just spray it.

Bring your candidate to spray. I did that for Max to go to Bon Jovi. Just spray it. No, Christine, we have to dye. Christine will dye it, and then. You have to dye blonde first, right? You have to rot. You gotta bleach it out and then dye.

Not to the roots this time. I, the, keeping Not to the roots this time. Keeping it off the roots, I don't know if you understand what a nightmare that is. I do. Do it. Don't die down to the roots. So confident. To have hair, for a man to have hair

that he's willing to bleach it, look, I would never go near my hair with bleach. I need to protect my follicles with my life. Well, the bleaching, I don't want it to go down for several reasons. That will now also show my age-related thinning at all, is if the bleach goes straight down to the head, then you'll really see the head.

Although, I'm taking minoxidil and putting this little schmutz Justin gave me me and I feel like it's coming in nice. Minoxidil thickens it up. You're swallowing horse jizz from the farm? Is that what that is? Yeah. Is it not minoxidil? Oh my God, is that the name of a horse?

Jay, it's working. Yeah? You're seeing it? Yeah, it looks good. Yeah. You look good. Yeah, you got a good set of hair. If you start to go bald, you gotta get a space wig.

You cannot be bald. Immediately. Yeah, you got a good set of hair. If you start to go bald, you gotta get a space wig. You cannot be bald. Immediately. Yeah, you can't. Immediately. In fact, I'll be furious that... You're so weird to see you with new teeth and just a bald head. Oh.

You didn't go all the way. Oh, Dr. Tooth. I spent my money in the wrong spot. If I could save my hair or teeth. Hair. Hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fuck your teeth. Hair. Hair. Yeah. Yeah, fuck your teeth.

Hair. Yeah, because I'll tell you what, I'll get used to wearing whatever version of dentures or implants or whatever you have to do with teeth. Get the implants. For teeth? Yeah. There's nothing that will,

like I will never get used to being a wig guy or a toupee. No, I wouldn't do it. No way. It's crazy. I can't believe, who in the, what's the, toupee. No, I wouldn't do it. No way. I can't believe, who in the world, what's the, toupee generation has to die out, right? It's gotta be done, close to done. They're close to done, but they're addicted to, they're addicted to their toupees.

Like, it's to the point where- But who's under, is anybody under 40, 50 years old now, even looking at a toupee? And I think if you're 50 now you would never think no They're doing the hair system Joey Ligano does is actually a spokesman now for just a hair hair system They do where you put it on yeah hair system is different because they'll glue that on for months Oh, they're saying that roots. It's not 1970s to pay you could go into war they could hang you off a cliff

from your hair and it won't come off. I know, but it's like attached to your head with something. I mean, he's open and happy about it. He's rich, why would he not just go and get the transplant? I don't know, he just doesn't want to. Because he prefers a system. It might be, he couldn't. There's also people that are balding where it's like

those transplants and everything are just out of reach. But these are alopecia. Transplant is only 15 grand. Yeah, but that could be out of reach for people and it's like you gotta think like when we're watching that Love After Lockup, the difference between dentures. What, you're gonna raise your hand?

No, it's out of reach for me. That's why I'm waiting for my Tesla stock to come in so I can. I got Lou, I took Lou to the pit at Pearl Jam. I'm gonna get you your hair. What is your dream, Black Lou? I'm making everybody's dreams come true. Bonfire Aruba?

Bonfire Aruba. That's my dream. That's a great dream. That's doable though. Let's do it. It's extremely doable, isn't it? Let's do it. Because the gig is a week, right? Isn't it weekdays? There's a, yeah. That's doable though. Let's do it. It's extremely doable, isn't it? Let's do it. Because the gig is a week, right?

Isn't it weekdays? There's a, yeah, they have a week. Yoruba Ray shows. They have seven days. Yeah, if we just make it an excursion. We could do like a month. Well, a week sounds more, makes more sense. We'll try a month and see what happens.

Yeah, if you guys don't have 18 other jobs you have to take care of in the city. How do the show, how does the show get sent back here? Through the air? File transfer. Is that it? Yeah, it's fucking. But there's no-

We transfer? You can't do it live. They don't have Pygmies on the island. I mean, it's a Dutch-owned island. I think if you have an ISDN, you can. If you have ISDN. In Aruba. Yeah, dude, what do you think?

It's just an ethernet connection. They couldn't even stop a beautiful young white girl from getting murdered by some Björgen Fjörgen storgen Jörgen You think they know how to fucking broadcast a kit in your home, huh? You have a kit in your home works great And that would work there gave you yeah, you take it anywhere Yeah, but I think the idea is that everyone's gonna be in a ruba in a suitcase for everyone Everybody gets everyone gets a mission Impossible suitcase and we go down there.

Well, I think each one. Doesn't each codec handle a couple microphones? Yes. Very good. Yeah, then we get a deal for Bonfire fans. They take a vacation. So instead of doing a Bonfire cruise, we do a Bonfire destination. Aruba.

Aruba. I think we just tell people we'll be doing it from down there. And what do we do? We do the shows live during the day. Mm-hmm. And then do a little comedy, Shizzy at Night.

Yeah, but we only do a few comedy shows. We have nights off. Of course. You know, like maybe three comedy shows. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll go check it out, probably the nights we're not doing it. You'll still go do a spot?

Yeah. That's cool. What, we're gonna have a romantic time with you I don't know you could probably go to dinner with me Don and Christine and have a fucking normal human being night Yeah, what about you guys get tired? We're not tired to go rage Dude I go to a ruba I'm raging go kill a white girl. I'm gonna go kill a white girl You can do it there and get away with it. Yeah, you didn't get away with it, huh? He would have you organ forging smoke working snorkin did not get away with it. You can, yeah. He didn't get away with it. Huh? He would've. Björgen, Forgen, Smorgensburg? Morten Schnorken did not get away with it. He got away with it.

He did get away with it. He got away with it. He just did it again. He did it again. And got caught. Yeah, and then he admitted it. And then he was admitted to the guida, but he never got, no, he was, they let him go.

He killed a girl in Chile. Björgen, Peru? Peru, like I said. Björgen, Jorgen. I knew it. You're gonna you're gonna know is a stew Peru stew is that a stew? His brother said his brother was my yeah one of my agents for a while Björgen Fjörgen Fjörgen fear and I know the actual name

Although his brother his brother though sleut goodbye Vander. Yeah, I saw that coming a mile away It wasn't like that at first it wasn't His brother though, Slute. Goodbye, Vander. Yeah, I saw that coming a mile away. It wasn't like that at first. It wasn't. It used to be Vander Slute when I first was working with him. Now it just says Slute. Hey, by the way, talking about a name that prestigious, I follow him on Instagram, and he's such a sweet.

He's literally the sweetest. The guy who killed the girl? No, his brother. You know him, you've met him before for sure. Is that guy on Instagram, is he dead? He died, right? He's, Jor know, you've met him before for sure. Is that guy on Instagram? Is he dead? He died, right? He's, Jordan VanderSloot is?

I think he's dead. No, I think he's in jail. I think he's just in jail. Is he in jail or did he? What does it say, Lou? He has it up. He looks alive, 37 years of age. Yeah, he's just in jail, right?

Yes, in Cartes Serrated, Backstreet Security Prison, located in Peru. He'll never get out. Yeah, he's done. Oh, he's in jail in Peru? Well, he had that girl dead to rights. I mean, they have a video of him, I think, borderline killing her.

He killed her. This guy just has a murder people face. I murder women's face. He just looks like a crazy murderer face. You're not wrong, but his brother, dude, is such a sweetheart. But it is funny how you see it. I saw, when I said I followed his brother on social,

and they were, him and his wife, beautiful wife, were on vacation somewhere, and you know, it says above it, like, you know, McAnose or whatever the place they're at, and her at this resort, and you're like, something inside her, I bet, still has a little like, I hope this isn't like a family thing where they just do this.

She goes to bed at 8.30 every night? Hey, you wanna go take a walk on the beach? No, no, no, no, no. No, let30 every night? Hey, you wanna go take a walk on the beach? No, no, no, no, no. No, let's go to the sunset. Let's go take a walk. No, you know, I think I'm just gonna stay here. Honey, I'm not him. Let's go for a walk.

And also, get my Rambo knife on your way. Hey, can you bring my Rambo knife? Yeah, his brother's a sweet. It's such a weird. That's gotta be a strange fucking thing to be like associated with, you know what I mean? I mean, Charles Manson didn't have anybody, but there's people who are like, there's gotta be like, no, I'm Richard Ramirez's aunt. Like, I talk to him still.

See what I mean, where they're just like, eh, what are you gonna do? Yeah, it is weird. I wonder who, but those guys genuinely don't have people in their lives, right? Well, I wonder who, but those guys genuinely don't have people in their lives, right? Well, I don't know. I saw-

I'm watching a lot of Criminal Minds, and those guys are very singular people. Oh, I saw a true crime thing the other day that was fucking, I mean, the kid's gotta have wild mental problems, because he got arrested for a couple things they said he was doing. I don't know, it wasn't like murder or anything like that, but it was like, I forget exactly what he did, but they patted him down. He had a gun on him in his waistband. They patted

him down three times. They show it in this video, and no one caught this gun. And then at prison, we're not in prison when he's in the, you know, they're taking him in there, processing them. There's a police officer at the desk and he's sitting next to him and the kid just, you see him going is like, uh, he put it down in his, by his pants and he pulls the gun out and he goes, Hey, he goes, do you have a family? He's like, yeah. He goes, a wife. He goes, how many kids? He goes, two kids. And he goes, good. And they just shot up, blew his fucking brains out.

When this kid talks to his parents, he couldn't be more like, I fucking blew it. I just, I don't know. I was there and I was like, the only way I'll get away with this is if I kill this guy, I guess. So they even gave an answer that sounded like reasonable. When they were like, well, why are you a sadistic psycho that asked him first about his wife and kids?

He goes, oh I wanted it to be like the last thing he was thinking about. So it was like, he made it twisted like it was positive, and you're like, oh, well that's actually, doesn't sound that crazy the way you put it like that. Maybe this guy's all right. My hearing bees in my head, I keep hearing something. I hear an ominous white noise like a David

Lynch movie yeah I have some weird white noise in the background hear it listen yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Gris, mean, yeah, Vince, that doesn't work good for it. Evans is too bubbly. Gris, mean, yeah, Vince. It's backward talk, right? Is that how they do Twin Peaks? They say everything phonetically backwards and play it forward.

What is this? I never watched Twin Peaks. How dare you? I thought you were an actor. I never watched it. They did have it on Psych. They had an episode, Twins Peak episode with all the people from Twins Peak.

Really? Twin Peaks. Whatever dude, whatever you know what I mean. Now, why would you put the, who puts the plural on the first part of that? Who doesn't? Twins Peak, it's the peak for the twins. What are you thinking about the restaurant

where the girls dress up in plaid skirts? You scumbag. Yeah, yeah. That's Twins Peak? It's the peak for the twins. What are you thinking about the restaurant where the girls dress up in plaid skirts? Yeah, scumbag. Yeah, yeah, that's Twins Peaks. Well, Christine. Twin Peaks. Let me correct Christine here all the time. What you're talking about, Christine, is the Tilted Kilt. It's not called Twin Peaks?

No, Twin Peaks is a different place, but they don't, it's not the same alphabet as Tilted Kilt. but they don't, it's not the same outfit as Tilted Kill. Twin Peaks, Friday night, San Antonio, right in the parking lot of the LOL Comedy Club, lingerie night, children in there till one o'clock in the morning and these girls are wearing, and I mean, you can see, if they had pussy hair, you'd see it on these outfits. And then there's just Mexican children in there.

It's a crazy place. But not that Twin Peaks, the show. And the movies. You had a very lonely childhood. Hmm. Yes. No, I did have friends. Yeah, I always had friends.

But I was also like, I was able to entertain myself though. I was an only child. Just correcting TV. yeah, I always had friends. But I was also like, I was able to entertain myself though. I was an only child. Just correcting TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't right. That's not how it's said. No, I was lonely and I watched Twin Peaks by myself and then the last episode scared myself frozen on the bed.

I couldn't move. It was scary? I don't know what that means even. Like it was, I couldn't even describe it. Your fear paralysis? Yeah. It was so scary to me that I just said a TV show From the last see you watch it on YouTube, but you can watch the last 15 minutes on YouTube. It's

It's scary to me from a TV show is scary What's that? By the way, how's a Glocklin on Instagram is like a whole thing. Why? I don't know if he's being serious or not. He just makes like weird dance videos and walking videos. It's bizarre. I just discovered it recently.

He's a strange dude. There's a lot of weird, Stephen Baldwin's the same thing right now. Really? He cries. Oh God. He cries, yeah, and it's for God. Over religious stuff, yeah.

You just sit there and look at the camera right at you until his ears well up, and then a tear will come down. Like, dude, you were in biodome. That's what it is. At one point he was skateboarding for the Lord. I can't stop watching. Oh, man, lucky to rush. I love biodome, but...

Bobby couldn't go back and do Twin Peaks and like it. There's no way. You don't think? No. I did it recently. We did it years ago. It's weird, right? It's just a weird.

It's very weird. I like the girl in it though with the mole, the blonde chick. Oh, not blonde. She wasn't blonde. Brunette, Sherrilyn Pham. With the mole, right? Yeah, she actually came back in Psych.

She played a librarian. She came back on the new season of Twin Peaks. They did that third season. And she lost her looks, man. But those three girls, when they came out, that Rolling Stone cover was... What do you want her to do? She's 70, dude.

Johnny Depp had her when she was in Playboy magazine. Yeah, she was hot. She was so hot. One of the chicks. One of the greatest Playboys. All the Twin Peaks girls were pretty hot though. Wasn't she in a movie too? She did something else where she was naked.

Meridian. Yeah, something. That's the one. What? That's the one. Trust me. Wait, who was in that? Sherilyn.

Oh no, that's not what you're thinking of, Meridian. You're thinking of boxing Helena. She was in for sure. And she was also in Just One of the Guys. Just One of the Guys. She was weirdly, she liked the girl who was acting like a guy too. Yes, that's correct.

That's where I know her from. And then Boxing Helena was that weird movie where they just had her, the guy just cut her arms and legs off and kept her torso in a box. It sounds fun. But if you want to see like a Cinemax movie where she gets naked, it's Meridian. I think that was the one I saw her naked.

You can just look it up. I'd go back and watch Twin Peaks. It's only two seasons. I'd go check. There's only two seasons? Yeah. I thought it was like this hit show. No, it's a cult classic.

Season one, mega hit. Season two. Everyone bailed? Well, he started making the movie Wild at Heart, David Lynch. Great movie. Great movie. One of my favorite movies of all time.

He went off, he went off, and they started letting, and then people just, there was pressure from the, he didn't really care about it anymore, even though they got picked up for a season two, because the network pressured him to tell you who killed Laura Palmer. The entire basis of what the show was supposed to be. Did I ever tell you what this jacket represents to me? They made it give it away. Did I ever tell you what this jacket represents to me They made it give it away ever tell you what this jacket represents to me No, my individuality and my belief and personal freedom stab it and steal baby

But fuck a favorite Nick Cage line ever in that movie when his nose was squeaking Oh, we had the snakeskin leather jacket at the end. It was a good movie Oh, how about I will have the foe the way he dies is crazy the way he does that scene though God damn it with Lauren Bacall. So he left to do that and then when they were like, oh okay. Is that her name, that who was in it? No, Laura Dern.

Laura Dern. When they. So different. You're a savant. You really are a fucking AI. I think you're not real J. Well no, I'm a huge Twin Peaks fan. Fuck, that's nowhere close.

What? Lauren Bacall? Yeah, but I knew that. And then I went to fucking AIJ, and I was like, and he went, no. Laura Dern. Laura Dern. Laura Lauren, pretty close. It was pretty close. It's not completely different.

Words wise. Words wise, it's close. Yeah, I mean, he meant not even close as an age or generation of acting. I understand what you meant, Jacob. You're right, and I'm right. Yeah, that was a great movie. What a weird movie. Weird movie, but they, so he came back

when they canceled the show, Twin Peaks, he came back and directed the last like five or six episodes and it just gets fucking scary. I'd say just the way some people write, like David Lynch, some people watch it and they look at the dark comedy of it and all this kind of stuff But it wouldn't even be resonate to them as like a horror but to me it's like It's like someone like wrote down my nightmares

Like he just knows how to like that is that that weird So we said we hear the thing with the ominous like white noise he used the shit of that woods trees blowing It's very that seemed very scary William DeFoe and Laura Dern was one of the creepiest sex, almost rapey scenes. It was fucking wild. The movie Lost Highway, one of my favorite movies. Mahone Drive. David Lynch, man. He's wacky.

Just quit smoking. He gets you. He just quit smoking. Why don't you quit smoking with him? Do it for him. I think he had a pre-cancer sing He had to yeah, but he said he hates that he had to he writes a guy like I love to smoke If I ever find out I am dying, I'll go right back to it. I stopped smoking cigars as much Really? Yeah, I was smoking dude. I was smoking two or three cigars a day

Fuck that that's what Hannibal did. Oh, who? Fucking the A-Team Hannibal. Did he really? Oh yeah. I don't know, George Papard? Yeah, running his mouth. Do you think you're not as cool as George Papard?

I don't, I'm not. Jacob lives his life by that motto every day. Just gotta do as much as George Papard. I sure do. Great name to follow. If George Papar does it, I'm doing it. I love it when a plan comes together. I miss those cheesy shows. I miss like USA Network, all the It's Burn notice.

Well you loved those. Oh God, I miss them. You were too late in the game for those, to like those. I like, when I was a kid. I miss Fall Guy, all that shit. Fall Guy I liked. There was just these shows that had no, a lot of it was like people living outside the law,

helping people. Yeah. In their, it was always that, right? Duke's a Hazard. 18. Living outside the law, but helping people. 18. 18, living outside the law. I think Simon and Simon were living outside the thing,

Heart to Heart. Heart to Heart. Remington Steel, I think they were all. Heart to heart didn't even do it, they were rich. They were just wealthy. They just had money. Married detectives with their butler Max that helped them. Magnum PI.

Magnum, for sure. But he wasn't living outside the law. He was just a private investigator. But he was living outside in the guest house. I'm pretty sure he got fucked by that millionaire guy. God damn, what a look that I would have never worn in that time that women liked. Just a short, short, with your hairy thighs coming out of them and an open thing and just a girl who liked a...

just a rug of chest fur. They loved it, Burt Reynolds. A rug of it. Remember his... Play, Burt Reynolds. A rug of it. Remember his, uh... Playgirl? Playgirl, he just looked like a fucking shih tzu. Yeah. Him and Peter Steele from Type of Negative

are the two I remember seeing and being like, damn, flapping hogs. Yeah, he had a big, nice hog. Him, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, and Sam Elliott. That's like the holy trinity of those guys that can pull off that look. Sam Elliott just got into big trouble. Well, he shaved his mustache. No, God forbid. He did.

He did once and it looked weird. We saw it. What did we just see? Sam Elliott and we were like upset with how terrible he looked. Was that a... He's done a few movies where he shaved his mustache.

It was justified. Oh, he was unjustified. Yeah. He was the unjustified. And he shaved his mustache. He looked terrible. Yeah, he looks terrible. He was great though. It looks like his lip doesn't know what to do. It was justified. Oh, he was unjustified. He was the unjustified, and he shaved his mustache. He looked terrible.

Yeah, he looks terrible. He was great. It looks like his lip doesn't know what to do. Like his lips stuck without a mustache, it's too light. There's too much space between his nose and his lip. There's a lot. What is that called, fulcrum? I don't know.

What is that? A real estate, a lot of real estate. What is that called? A lot of felt. Fulcrum or fulcum, something like that? I don't know, a labrum? No, the little thing between here, what is that called? Labrum?

No, between, I think I'm on there. Labrum? Fulcrum, no not a labrum. A labrum? Labrum? Fulcrum? Fulcrum? Fulcrums?

Or labrum? Fulcrum? Christine? Christine? Labrum? Fulcrum? Labrum? Fulcrum? Labrum? Fulcrum? Labrum? Fulcrum's a simple machine.

Filtrum? Filtrum. Filtrum. I was close. Filtrum. Is when the space is larger than normal. You were close again by word, not by thing. A fulcrum is a simple machine used for moving objects.

The story of my life, Jay. I was close by word. Not by fact. Not by fact. It can be a sign of fetal, Jay. I was close by word. Not by fact. Not by fact. It can be a sign of fetal alcohol syndrome. Nice. He actually, yeah, he did an interview, and they were talking about that movie.

What was the movie, the gay cowboy movie? Gay Cowboys, yeah. What was it? Brokeback Mountain. No, the recent one, the dog one. With the- They fuck a dog, a gay dog? Yeah, they fuck a gay dog.

Turns out, you watch the whole movie, it turns out he's a gay cowboy at the end. The power of the dog. The power of the dog, he was very mad, and he got a lot of success, a lot of Oscar nods and whatever, and awards, and he was like, I'm sick of this bullshit. But honestly, I would never actually be gay.

I hate it. He was like, it was supposed to be Montana, it was New Zealand, my other fuck, what does a woman lesbian know about the American West? Yeah, I'd kill myself if I was really gay. That's basically what he was saying. But this is a movie so I didn't kill myself, but I told them I ain't kissing no guys He was like most of the men and the the American West was about family guys sacrificing a lot for family and you know to

Have the sweet sacrifice. You have to go fuck your hot your brother's wife when he dies What a sacrifice well he goes cum a batch didn't take his chaps off the whole movie So people are giving him shit for being homophobic homophobic he played a homework He played a homo in what power a homo. In what? Power of the Dog? No? No, Cumberbatch did. Not... Benedict Cumberbatch.

Apparently trying to find the rant, but it's on... They didn't tell me any of the characters. He was on Marin. It was on Marin. It was on what the fuck? He did it on Marin. Oh, really? And you know, Marin's a big fan, but he was trying to...

You know, Marin's fan base. He kind of had to toe the line a little bit. Be like, what? What are you saying? Oh, Mark was kind Be like, what? What are you saying? Oh, Mark was kind of like, no, what do you mean? I get what he's saying though. I hate gays. I can't spell it out any clearer.

I, space. H, space. A, space. Z, space. I think what he was saying, I understand what he's saying, it's like, how does this lady make a movie about American West? She's not even American. She's New Zealand.

Yeah, go ahead. He said, what the fuck does this woman from down there know about the American West? He said, they're running around in chaps and no shirts, there's all these allusions to homosexuality throughout the fucking movie. Then he apologized for it. I love it. I love what he's saying. I think that's great. Good for him. He's like, what? He's like, what does no one knows about this? I wanted to see a Western man. I watched it. It was just like... I think that's the problem. A party you wanted to see

Cumberbatch kiss a cowboy. I was coming to see Lonesome Dove, too. Nothing happens. Yeah. I mean, look, I come out of the tent. Next thing I know, two peckers are out. What kind of Western is this? Did you guys and any of you guys watch like old Westerns growing up? I watched to watch them now. I watch all John Wayne.

My dad was really into them. Jay never was into them. I love them. Spaghetti Western, I just watched for a few dollars more. This week. Really? Yeah, I love Spaghetti Westerns. I've watched every single John Wayne. I'm a cowboy. I do.

I have the Outlaw Josie Wales. Oh, what a great one. I've seen some other, I've seen Outlaw Josie Wales. Is that, that's not, he's a ghost. He's always an anti-hero. Yeah. Yeah, he's always I mean there's one movie that he did I love Josie Wales when he puts the the metal under his Plate I think yeah, it's from from the pot belly stove. There's one movie that he does

He actually rapes two women nice, and it's yeah, I I never noticed it. What's it called? Mr. Skin? What's the one where he paints the whole town red? I know. What was that one? Doja Cat. What's the actor? Clint Eastwood. Oh my God.

Yeah, I rewatched it a few years ago and I'm like, he just raped, he just took a woman and raped her in a barn. Different time. I know what you're talking about. Jacob, it's not funny, that's not what I'm saying. It's not a good Jacob. Although I guess this New Zealand bitch

didn't get that down when she started having everybody mowing out in their fucking teepees. High Plains Drifter. High Plains Drifter. Oh, yeah. There's two. There's two. What's he?

Isn't he dead in more than one of them? He came back like a ghost almost. No, no. Just unforgiven. Never dies. Except in unforgiven never dies except What's the one where he's dead? What's his name? No one of them? He's like a ghost like the whole movie or something no There is one there is like that Jay. There's no movie like that sure he comes back. He's a ghost no Look at the movie where Clint Eastwood's a ghost EAST

WOD Look at the movie where Clint Eastwood's a ghost. E-A-S-T-W-O-O-D. No, that's fucking Jonah Hex or some shit, right? High Plains Drifter comes up again. And what does it say? It says that there's a ghost story interpretation of the movie. That's bullshit. He's a... Oh, where he's, like, they're saying he's a ghost.

Yeah, it says... That's what it is. You guys are... It's hinted at strongly throughout the movie suggesting that the stranger may be the ghost of slain federal marshal Jim Duncan. Which is what it is. He's not a ghost. You guys don't see that?

Because you guys aren't artistic. You guys just wanna be. Yeah, we don't see. And you don't see the truth. You guys are like, cowboys. And I'm like, no, there's a film here. That someone's trying to get something across. You see that because you're autistic.

And then also Pale Rider. Pale Rider is also dead, right? No, he's not dead. Not when he was dead, he's pale. No, he comes into a town and the. Yeah. It says preacher is definitely a ghost, according to Clint Eastwood, who not only played the role, but also directed.

He's a ghost. He's not a ghost. It's biblical bullshit. I'm back in Jacob's house. Jacob, he would never say the word biblical at all unless you said biblical. He's just blindly following you. I love biblical.

It's one of my favorite words. Biblical. Biblical, I almost named Max biblical. I was like biblical Patrick Kelly. Are the westerns, are they always fighting Indians? Is that like? No. No, they fight each other.

It's like banditos versus, sometimes they're Hispanics, right? Sometimes Mexicans. Mexicans, they'll go down versus sometimes the Hispanics right so as Mexicans Mexicans They'll go down to the border and steal some horses from Mexicans But the only but he was uh, but he was a ghost in two of them. Like I said Pale rider and high-planes drifters Preacher is definitely a ghost as he said Get your chest scan to become a ghost

What if my chest scan you're gonna really feel bad tomorrow if my chest scan. What if it goes, one of your lungs is gone? It's from Revelations. And I looked and behold, a pale horse. And its rider's name was Death, and Hell followed him. Yeah, it's just what he represents. He's not a ghost. Well, that's what Wyatt Earp yells out.

You tell him I'm coming, and Hell's coming with me. You guys are probably confusing that for the two movies where Cleazer was a ghost. You guys probably don't remember when he was a ghost. I think the most authentic Western is Lonesome Dove. What, is that boring? I think it's, you would hate it. It's a six hour mini-series.

Yeah, I remember. But it's the, because they start from one spot and they would try, they had to push this cattle and it takes years, it takes like over a year. And people die on the way. Yeah. To move cattle? Yeah, back then they didn't have planes. They had to push them through mountains and over fucking

Yeah, that's what they would do on fucking Yellowstone. That's today, that's modern. No, they would, I'm talking from Texas to like Missouri. Yeah. Yeah, it's, they would, and there was Indians, and you'd be killed, the river people would die, bears and shit back then. They just got rifles, the repeater, the Henry repeater,

and stuff like that. Oh, here he goes with his repeater again. Now we gotta hear about the repeater. I love the repeater. You want that repeater so bad. I want that goddamn repeater so. I love the repeater. You want that repeater so bad. I want that goddamn repeater so bad. And you want it on one hand, it's so bad. I want it on one hand, and I want it one,

with one hand and shoot it. Yeah, no, I know. And then a couple minutes later, ping. Ping. You're gonna kill an intruder one day. Not gonna kill anybody. Outside shot, you ask someone to intrude your house and then kill them.

I'm trying to get you and Christine up there. To intrude? To kill us? Yeah. And guys, he goes, guys, don't worry, we are fully armed, but just like, whenever you get there, just kick the front door in. Do you have a fenced in backyard? In where?

Yeah, the borders. Which house? Yes, it is in the borders of New Hampshire. There is fences. No, the new one. The new house, not yet. is in the borders of New Hampshire. There is Fence. No, the new one. The new house, not yet. We're trying to get a Fence.

I know a Fence guy. I do too, I'm in touch with one, but it cost, it was like 20 grand. Jesus. Not for the Fence guy, I know. How much is your Fence guy? I don't know, you met the Fence guy actually, when we met, my two big fans, oh my God.

They always go to every concert we're always at. Jesus Christ, you know her name. Melissa? No, she's beautiful. Maddie? Maddie, Maddie Arias, right? Have you seen her? Her and her husband were there.

We saw them at the Corey concert. They were at everything there. Beautiful Hispanic looking girl. And her husband is her husband's a fence builder. She's going to what he does Yeah, I got a guy fan. I was at one of my shows ripping you off No, I just 20k. I don't want to rip him off. He's like dude. I'll work something out. I feel bad I don't rip him off really yeah, why because But here's a problem. I'll tell you what cuz he's done bad things in his life. He hasn't has his come up Who are you God? Why? Because. But here's a problem. I'll tell you why, because he's done bad things in his life and he hasn't had his comeuppance.

Who are you, God? Yeah. No. You just gotta assume someone's fucked him. I don't wanna fuck somebody. Or he's fucked somebody. I can't assume. What if he didn't fuck anybody?

He did though, for sure. How do you know? It was probably an older or young person. We need a fence though. I was thinking of getting this electric fence. It's a GPS caller now they have for dogs. Well you can set- Max keeps getting zapped.

Ow, dad! Well you can set it up on your phone anywhere you go. You set up a perimeter on a map on your phone and the dog can't go out of that perimeter. I feel like Dawkins would just leap through it. We had a friend who put an electric fence around her house for the cat and the cat just't go out of that perimeter. I feel like Dawkins would just leap through it. We had a friend who put an electric fence around her house for the cat, and the cat just kept jumping through it,

even though they'd turn it up all the way, like past where it was dangerous. It was like a cartoon. The cat would just still escape. It would just run, and then all of a sudden you'd see its skeleton through its body, and then it would get through it, like a cartoon. That instinct to kill.

Can't you get like a deer fence? Yeah, but that looks like shit. I don't wanna, and I got new neighbors, you know what I mean? I don't wanna put a deer fence up. Were you already in a fight with your neighbors about the fence? I was in my own head in the shower when he,

that I'd never even met. Oh, it didn't happen with the neighbor? I never even met the guy. Didn't even know his name yet. I didn't even know in the house yet. Eventually though, he'll chomp Bobby in front of his boy. I didn't even close on the house yet and I had to fight with this guy.

In your head? Yeah, and he doesn't even look like the guy that I was fighting with in my head. Totally different look. Oh. They're actually, both neighbors are sweet. They're great, I'm very lucky. But it is gonna be a weird conversation when I say,

hey, we're thinking of putting a fence up. They might be happy. Well, here's great news. You don't have to worry about it this weekend, because you're gonna be in Arizona, everybody. Phoenix, Arizona. Stand up live this Friday and Saturday. Make sure you check them out.

Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to electric bike. Yeah, the company's there. And I got an invite to go check out the factory. The electric bikes. That's awesome. Yeah. You get such cool invites. Yeah. For electric bikes. That's awesome. Yeah. You get such cool invites.

Yeah. Want me to get you one? Yes. Do you want an electric bike? So bad. Would you drive it? Yes. Really?

Of course. All right, I want to talk to him. An electric bike, yeah, why wouldn't I? Yeah, they're awesome. They're so dope. After that, he's gonna be in, I know this. I'm gonna be at this. Hilarities, Hilarities in Cleveland.

Hilarities in Cleveland Larry later this month Squires gonna be with me I love those guys I love him yeah he's great and then uh and then you're gonna be of course skankfest co-hosts New York San Diego all on deck and every Tuesday night 7 p.m. at the Fat Black pussycat lounge the comedy seller for all of his content including his newest special kill box go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly for all them dates. I'm gonna be in Addison, Texas next week. He's gonna be in Addison, Texas September 12th and the 14th then Omaha Funnybone September 20th to the 21st

After that Skank Fest then Spokane, Spokane, Spokane Poughkeepsie and St. Louis for all of the tickets and info and everything Big J, BigJComedy.com, what a good show. What a great way to end the weekend. Fun show with fun people, great people. It's been a big week for Lou. I got Jacob a hair transplant. Everything's fucking coming up huge.

Yes, Jacob? I wasn't here. How was Edie? Awesome. Oh, she was fantastic. Yeah, she's the best. So honest. She was Edie? Awesome. Ah, she was fantastic. Yeah, she's the best. So honest. She showed us a boob.

Yeah, weird. Really? Didn't even ask. Yeah. Before she leaves, she just goes like, oh, hey guys, honk honk, and then left. Weird. It was weird, but it was cool. It was pretty cool.

It was weird, but it was cool. And she made out with Paco. We'll be back next week. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be back. Yeah. Until then, everybody, crackle crackle.

See you guys later. Bye.