The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - AutoBlow with Rob Dukes & Mike Finoia

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Rob Dukes of Exodus and Generation Kill returns with an insult to Bobby. Mike Finoia is also hanging as Bob gives Jacob a sexy gift. The present is an advanced A.I. contraption that gives men oral p...leasure. Jay is trying to create a name for a whacky group of Bonfire campers. Rob remembers good times with Chips Coney and Otto & George. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Alright, that's ambrosia with how much I feel coming to you on your home of yacht Rock hits actions off serious XM 103 I'm still sure Steve That's Bobby slacks Bobby giggles that was your black Connie name this is your yacht rock DJ name what am I again Bobby slacks Bobby slacks I'll take it you're a nice pair of slacks but the pants that work it's the hook and then the button that goes over like your dad's slacks I'm wearing those
Starting point is 00:00:41 now no you're not I think I am are you wearing slacks? I'm wearing those now. No, you're not. I think I am. Are you wearing slacks? No, I'm wearing, these are golf pants. Is that what they are, the golf pants that have the hook? No, I have a button on this one. Yeah, dude, hook pants on a day-to-day basis? Yeah, hook pants are terrible. Yeah, dress pants. I have, some of the golf pants I have have a hook.
Starting point is 00:01:02 It's not a good fat guy a Fat chubby dudes need buttons you need all the support you wear your buttons and belt loops for sure also No, I've almost passed out trying to do the old hook The hook button and then you get out of the car and you got that fucking under the gut Indentation from the hook. Oh when the hook slices your butt, ugh. Yeah, that's why I had to stop wearing bell buckles. You look like a spiral ham. When I was real fat, bell buckles used to dig into my stomach.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I saw Danzig on tour when he started getting a gut, and he still had the demon horns on his thing, and you just see it, you can see the dimples that he was just making on his undergut, and you're like, stop wearing it, it's okay. When I was really in shape, I bought a belt buckle that said rock with the rhinestones in it,
Starting point is 00:01:56 and then I got fat, and I had to stop wearing it because I almost cut my stomach open with the R. Sharp R? The sharp R, the rock R. Now you have a C-section star. Introduce our guest, Bobby. You said rock candy.
Starting point is 00:02:11 We have the great, good friend of the show, listener of the show, fan of the show, and friend, Rob Dukes is in the house. What's up, Rob? What's up, buddy, how are you? And he's, I mean, half the person he was. Exodus, generation kills. Good intro, Bobby.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah. I mean, don't set me up. Just add to it. I thought you were gonna give a thing. I said friend, fan of the show. Burnout. Burnout. You wanna be our first burnout?
Starting point is 00:02:37 Rob, we're trying to make our own whack pack. Yeah. We have nobody. We have no characters on this show. We have friends. Rob sent me. Rob is 170 pounds lighter than he on the show. We have friends. Rob sent me. Rob is 170 pounds lighter than he was last time. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Is this, were you fat when you were young? No. So you got heavy. I quit smoking cigarettes and I fucking blew up like a fucking Bobby Kelly. But you were slim your whole life, always. Yeah, it works. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Stop for one second. Hang on, dude. Sorry, I thought it, I didn't mean to say it. There's a fat code that we all go by. You could have said a tick. You know, the best thing is... I hope your stomach opens up and gets big again. He got the body. The best is making fun of fat people again. Isn't that the best part? No, not me. I was going to yell it out last night, too. He's like, I lost weight. I was going to go, you're still fat.
Starting point is 00:03:10 That would have been fun. That wouldn't have hurt my feelings for six months. Geez. I just lost weight. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.
Starting point is 00:03:18 I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to, I lost weight. I was like, oh, you're still fat. I was gonna go. That would've been fun.
Starting point is 00:03:25 That wouldn't have hurt my feelings for six months. Geez. I just lost weight. You did? I had a guy say that in the crowd one night. I was like, dude, I lost a lot of weight. And he goes, you're still fat. And I was like, that merely, that just sucks.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah. I don't even know where to go from here. You're like, ha, dude, yeah. You're like, who brought the voice in my head a ticket to the show tonight? That's always what it is. You're like, that's what I say about me. That, who brought the voice in my head a ticket to the show tonight? That's always what it is. You're like, that's what I say about me. That's what I say when I put on my panting shirt.
Starting point is 00:03:49 When I true classic really doesn't fit as I thought it was. I hate to. I don't want to give notes on something that's so cool already. But the burnout's logo that we were just sent, I'd say the O stay white also. And then UTS. Well, the O stays white white but the flame inside stays red impossible yeah you could do that we talk about oh I got you yeah yes
Starting point is 00:04:13 nothing yes she just made that on a phone out front download Adobe Express do it right how would you make these where we're sitting on their way. They were listening. Remember I said fans of the show? Yeah. You're like, hey, whoever jerk-offs sent this in. Remember before you threw me under the bus for not giving all those credits?
Starting point is 00:04:37 I did, though. But you really should have. You did a J. Do you know what the band was that was playing when we started the show right here, when Rob was here? It's fucking Ambrosia, dude. not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:05:00 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Ha ha ha ha ha. Woooo. Yeah baby. I'm proud of you. That was good.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Thanks. Now name five Exodus songs. Seventeen. Death to All. Oh that's what you do. You go, first albums, track one through five. He's highly listened to the early stuff. Oh they didn't have names dude.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Suck your mom's puss. There's the Dan- No, no now one Jam I got I got Jacob a gift and We were talking about technology yesterday is the head of the woman who hurt him You mean seven heads? I I got your gift, but I want to give it to you But I want you to promise me you're gonna use it and let us know how it is I don't know what I don't know what it is. I already guess. Can you please give it already guess?
Starting point is 00:05:52 This is for you and I you know when you're you know feeling lonely in New York pussy when you're alone in New York I mean if it's a pocket pussy, that's a big pocket. It's a big pussy. Okay, Jacob open it up But you have to let us know how it is. Here it is. This is the latest in technology. A lot of brand dropping here. Oh, it's the self sucker? Oh, good for you, dude.
Starting point is 00:06:18 The auto blow. The auto blow, yeah. Two plus. Buddy, big time sponsor of Legion of Skanks for a while. I assume also Y kwd Jacob you're gonna fuck the shit at that thing And by the way, you didn't have to fuck it you put your dick in and it does the work set it and forget it And as this feature too, and it goes on one. It has the clapper
Starting point is 00:06:39 It has size a size B and size. Oh, let us know what size you are You know that can fit in both large and small kitchens and you never have to clean it you can put that right next to your air fryer nobody would know that could feed an army or one or two people that looks like a drink like a cup like would you get a move fucking Jacob so the guy who likes to get his cock sucked but he's on the go you don't have to do it you just have to put your penis in the area where that thing is and then that thing does
Starting point is 00:07:10 it for you. You do nothing all you do sit on the couch like you do put on your favorite silly show that you like to watch. Miami Vice. Dude, Crocket comes out. Girls, soccer and then first before you put on your dick let it kiss your neck a little bit and actually make the cockroaches too embarrassed to be in my apartment i had a snout says true there you might be a risk is from roachley they go out to you one thing i don't play is gay shit what happened whatever cockroach came out with a little mandolin and played you some
Starting point is 00:07:38 mood music let's not forget roaches are black and they'll't play that gay shit Buddy Well, you don't know that you can't you're gonna you could you can get sucked by it Yeah to get sucked off by who knows let fucking nature take its course to take it Just it, take it out, let it sit in the room. Let it, let it just hang out for a little while. Jacob, do you know how many reviews of this thing start off with,
Starting point is 00:08:10 I myself was a disbeliever. Oh no, I don't doubt it works. It's heavy. And it's gonna fit your penis. Well, because it's size A, B, and C. Can we watch some video of the autoblow at work, please? Jacob. That's the autoblow 2+.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Wow, it includes one mouth sleeve. Oh, the 2+, which means it's smart technology. It adapts to you. It's also a Wi-Fi router. I'm pretty sure it hooks up to your phone. It goes, Jacob, you're choking me. The weather... The time is 11.07, and the weather is 78 degrees outside.
Starting point is 00:08:43 The box tells you that that I'll download the app Download the app try it out. The only thing is you're not gonna be able to pull his hair No, wow, but you can pull something's hair We replaced the entire gripping mechanism with a new one that feels like five tightly gripping fingers nice That sounds like the auto hand job then not like the blow Well, and it strokes up to six inches of your peen. Yeah, there you go. You can get all four and a half. Oh, no fair.
Starting point is 00:09:11 There's a chick helping. Whoa. This isn't the 2.0. This isn't the 2.0. No, that's the one. Get that shit out of here. Christine, Christine, give me a favor. She's in the box?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Christine, find the right auto blow. Or don't bring the auto blow at all. That's auto blow, too. That's it. That looks like it right there. Up top, up top. auto blow at all. That's auto blow too. That looks like it right there. Up top, up top. This one? Right there.
Starting point is 00:09:27 That's it, yes. The one that looks like the worms on Dune. Oh, there you go. OK. Mouthwash for that sleeve. That looks like our Dyson. It does. Yeah, you could bake a cake with this thing after.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Wait, hold on. We guys need to do that. I heard it also purifies the air. Ooh. Why is she fingering it? Because she's a nurse, Christine. Oh, she. I heard it also purifies the air. Oh, why is she fingering? She's a nurse Christine Got nails like you I Like in these promotional videos. There's always a girl
Starting point is 00:09:54 We're going it helping the guy use it. Well, she's a nurse. So it's different Right. This guy's got I don't know what the clothes guys go get an efficient dick It's like not big at all, but it's like it's thick. I know what you're talking about. It's just like a fucking, hey man, you want some dick? That guy's got some dick. He's got like an iPod Nano. Yeah, he's got like fucking, it's like a drawing of dick. Just dick and balls, just your run of the mill.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Yeah, your regular fucking meat and potatoes. Yeah, last second you grab it next to a fucking National Enquirer or you're getting some gum to check out this was definitely the COVID years I actually call that the perfect dick wearing a mask I tell you it's comments by the way I don't think it was code I think she's just trying to keep her she has wearing Bootsy Collins sunglasses you hear the actual noise it makes sounds like construction outside by the way this is on the smallest setting right there dude Jacob you this was a water pick it would knock my tooth out He's talking to her was there goes anything happening
Starting point is 00:11:14 Little mouth goes Seriously oh he said he said you got any more lube in there. Oh this thing. She want to fuck it once You should do an unboxing video. Yeah, there'll be a new channel. Jacob, ew. Once you take it out of the package, it loses its value. Weird.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Did he come already? No, no, no, that's the lube. That's the lube. It's weird looking. Why does the lube look like cum? Aw? Aw, yeah. Waw, waw, waw.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Waw. Dabba, dabba, dabba, dabba, dabba. They should add a gag sound to it Oh Should they should I get like a gag sound to it to make you feel better Not that much Is what she's doing yes, she is by the way she's like fucking it on to his dick, but isn't the idea It's the auto blow yeah, but if he was doing it he would be holding it underneath. He's taking a POV She's like yeah, she's she's like, let it milk him! Fuck Lee! You're so mad at her. You should describe her outfit.
Starting point is 00:12:14 She's dressed like a fucking nurse. She's wearing full scrubs, big fucking rehab glasses. She's got a dish towel. I'm pretty sure it's a Kardashian. She has a dish towel. She has nails like me. Hey, fun! Christmas nails. Fashion's a playground. She has a dish towel nails like me Christmas nails sessions of playgrounds And she's holding this guy's got on here the mouth Break like a regular chick Yes, it sounds like it sounds like a white pump she's pumping it up
Starting point is 00:12:47 Everybody throw your hands up. She's on level five right now. And they stay there. Now she's back down to level one. Sucker cocks. You gotta keep them separated. Jacob, you have to try this. You listen to me. You have to try this.
Starting point is 00:12:59 It's the end. It's the end. You gotta keep them separated. I hope it's tonight's the night you finally get mugged with that in your bag. They're like, you'll let him go. Oh, hang on, he's turning up the juice, everybody. I believe the juice is loose. There's different functions on it too, right?
Starting point is 00:13:17 I think most of it is to make you calm. Yeah, it complains to you. It says where you've been. Let's just let him dick for an hour. It's a stud finder. It's's a stud fun it's a stud finder it's a laser level and you can make out of it and you can definitely tongue fuck it if you choose and ask you why you didn't answer the phone um Jacob listen if you agree to do it fine I'll hold it while you fuck it okay we dress like
Starting point is 00:13:42 this nurse be the nurse yeah this wouldn't be my first rodeo with holding something that my friend was fucking. I held a flashlight for Louis. We had a real hard time getting in there though. I just couldn't keep that guy hard. If Jay's holding it, it'll be, you know, you can see the fingernail paint. You'll see, yeah, I'll do fingernail paint.
Starting point is 00:14:00 And I'll do stuff like, I'll like soft touch your face. You can wear Christine's glasses. He's not trying to look up at me because he knows he's going to get hard. He's lowering those glasses. He's like, Oh, they do sell it on the package. Tell us, tell us what it says. Lube up and slide in the newly improved auto blow to plus extra tight edition. Nice. Extra tight.
Starting point is 00:14:22 This new extra tight edition will Nice. This new extra tight edition will tightly. It's redundant. Tightly tighten around your tight, tight dick. This new extra tight edition will tightly grip your penis and cause you to have an orgasm at any speed you choose. And if, and if you like that one,
Starting point is 00:14:42 if that one works for you, I have the Upgraded version that just came out. Oh Three point two. I'm not gonna give you the that one because you're not ready. You're not ready for it Yeah, that one comes with Alexa and six free months. I think I was talking about you're not ready for cuz skanks got that one, too It's a double the size of that box. Yeah, it's like it's like it looks it looks like an air like an air purifier It looks like it's crazy It's also it makes a frappe afterward. So is this thing gonna make him come ever? I mean, he's got a lady and a suck machine and now she has more
Starting point is 00:15:17 Lady, this is your fault. Now. This guy is a professional you're gonna you're gonna come quick as a professional, you're gonna come quick. I would've been asleep by now. He's got a woman uncomfortably doing this. Unless you're into a reluctant fucking machine fuck. Yeah, but he's gonna have you doing it and me filming it. He's gonna come in five seconds. Oh my God, he's not wrong, Jacob. And I know where to leave this thing, dude.
Starting point is 00:15:40 It's gonna be real. A lot of base work. Oh look, now she's working balls. There we go, he's gonna crank. And by the way, Jacob, I'm gonna pull it out so it's just going like lot of those now. She's working balls. There we go. He's gonna he's gonna crank and by the way, Jacob I'm gonna pull it out. So it's just going this on your head There's a little bit on your head and that's when you're really gonna you're gonna explode all over me did you notice she's also wearing a
Starting point is 00:15:56 Like a skull cap No, this might be a wig quite honestly it is cuz you can see there's different hair I think You see she's different hair. I think She's wearing a fake top. She probably doesn't really want to be the person in this tutorial because she's a kindergarten teacher during the day They're like hey lady Amazon delivery person you come in here you wanna honey I told you when you went on this only fans journey I want to know parts of it and here I am wearing a costume jacking you off with the auto blow. What more do you want from me?
Starting point is 00:16:29 Our kids are gonna see this, Lewis! I can't wait until Jay's caressing your nuts gently like this. Yeah, look at that! She's doing a really nice- Jacob, I'm not gonna work your ball back, I'm sorry, but I will fuck the shit out of you with this machine. She's doing like the nice stress ball, you know, like a corporate decision maker hand right there. I will allow this, Jacob. Here's what I'll do. I'll go next ball, you know, like a like a corporate decision-maker hand right there I will allow this Jacob. Here's what I'll do. I'll go next to the auto blow like this
Starting point is 00:16:49 That's nice. And while you're fucking the auto blow you can grab my head I would hold like a fucking news camcorder from 87 Hold the back of my head just keep pushing me up at all like I'll do I'll react with the yeah with the fucking suck mouth You're like alright, buddy. All right, okay Look like this thing is ever gonna pop dude make him pop Look, you're gonna come a lot quicker if we watch this all the way to the end You're right, but how do you? He's coming into the come receptacle
Starting point is 00:17:35 Go get the other part I'm gonna come get the flume that sends it right to the trash. Yeah, what is this, like, the- the coli guard of, uh... I'm gonna come soon. Huh, Paul. It's about to happen. Get the cup. Oh, and it's got a cum receptor. That's perfect for you, Jacob. Do you think this guy- do you think a woman just let him film him going to a fucking...
Starting point is 00:18:01 Sperm bank? Sperm bank? You can save that, put it in the freezer, and then when you have a kid later you can use that no this isn't actually a sperm bank this is just a porno this isn't how sperm banks work this is a porno what the girl are you talking the nurses don't drink it after this? they don't massage your balls they don't shave your nuts like a meatball you don't know what happens you ever give sperm anybody I have I have and shit and they don't do this
Starting point is 00:18:27 Oh, not the dumb place you when they're bigger than that. Ha It's like yeah, it's like a wider it's wider if we could have just combined this video with the puppet lady It would have been so much better. We haven't got that a puppet lady. I know bring puppet lady and he would have So Rob you heard we're looking for our new crew. This is our next option here. So far we have a guy that's gonna come set his dick and asshole hair on fire, which I'm prepared to watch. We have, we're waiting to hear back from a 75 year old lady
Starting point is 00:18:57 who walks around in a bikini. With a parrot. With a parrot on her shoulder, I bet that's a million laughs. But we gotta get her before the snow comes. We have to get before the snowfall And then this is Bonnie Bonnie the puppet Bonnie's puppet palace Bonnie's puppet palettes Bonnie and Allie
Starting point is 00:19:16 Her alligator hand puppet I love this lady. No, you don't No one's Her puppets hate her I bet she smells like old cigarettes and perfume She drew on eyebrows and one of them sideways Like one's going like this And the other one goes like this Like a large audience of about 20 people
Starting point is 00:19:36 Her services Original, interactive, enchanting, character development One of a kind puppet shows for all year long Including our magical holiday shows Many one of a kind puppets and productions that will capture your heart in today's sound Sometimes cold heartless. Oh, here we go. Yeah, she's letting it all out in the very first sentence Many one-of-a-kind puppets and productions that will capture your heart in today's sometimes cold
Starting point is 00:19:59 Heartless world and the multiple spaces around the words heartless world This is a terrible place just escaping the puppets That's where everything's safe What don't be puppetless? That's what happens there jigga when you leave and you come home and you go mom. What's wrong? She goes the puppets never leave the puppets are here always Yes Yes
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yep What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? That's just her doing a read for Thumbtack? Thumbtack.com is... This is from eight years ago! She's dead. She got a lot better. Wait, no, let's call them! Is there a phone number? Is there a phone number on the website? I'll call right now. What is Thumbtack?
Starting point is 00:21:14 Go to Thumbtack.com. I did, it's like a... It looks like a... It's gone. Home repair made easy. No, like home repair like where you were... Oh, it's like an Angie's List? Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Oh, maybe that was her sponsor. Yeah, in case you need a puppet entertainment when somebody paints your house. Go back to the description of the show again. There she is with her puppets, by the way. She does meet and greets. Chat with a puppet either at the small theater or walkabouts where the puppets come to you.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Luke, could you put menacing music behind this, please? Would you be able to click contact us, Christine? I wanna see where she's at. Lots of fun for children and adults. Cause I will book her today. Large numbers of puppets, which you can choose for a special day. Right next to Jacob.
Starting point is 00:21:56 She's one of the dolls. We bring a number of different puppets in a bag and show them. Oh, the puppet bag. We sing original songs and some audience members play musical instruments, bells, tambourines, things of that nature and see how it relates to them.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Fun, fun. Come this way. Thumbtack! Go back to one of her crazy videos. Maybe the next one, she won't just wear a puppet. She'll do a voice for it. What's the one down the bottom with the little monkey maybe she just has one embarrassing hand here we go the monkey broke I'm chill gorilla I love the heart of hearts right Right from the start, she's got my heart. I love the heart. Why does the puppet mouth not open?
Starting point is 00:22:53 He's Chilla, gorilla. Yo. He loves the heart of the planet. The plane over hand. That's the CIA, fucking looking for her. Why is that, did she sew the puppet puppets most yet? Cuz it was bad Yeah, was the blind side the musical that makes sense. Why do the gorilla likes eating like there's a dog fight You first of all, can you go back to the video, you know, she's not like she doesn't own a home, right?
Starting point is 00:23:21 So that's like an apartment complex or some shit and the neighbors are like oh She's making another crazy one her I want her to have like a crazy like she's crazy racist like something dark about this lady There's that's a golf course. She lives on like a golf course or land People are living around her people that have to put up with her. Yes, do your puppets there? She's a story to the name. She probably does show She's right down there in swinger country, and then she's running around a bunch of puppets like I bet she calls like it's very loud Sex noise is coming from next door. Oh shut the fuck up lady Go grab your stupid fucking alligator puppet go talk to a sheep you weirdo These people are having sex through the walls. I wonder how it feels. Oh, you know, can you call it? Give it a call. She's only on that. She's only ready for serious
Starting point is 00:24:12 Inquiries serious inquiries Mike's I don't fuck with her. I'm not gonna fuck with her I just want to ask she's only she doesn't have time for your bullshit, dude Let me talk to the orangutan then or that. Oh look at this. It's all freaky. This is a lonely lady. Yeah. That's why she'd be a perfect burnout. You said that earlier, Jay. Well, that's what this is called. Can I?
Starting point is 00:24:30 We should make a suggestion. Because she's used to putting her hands and holding stuff Maybe we should get her to use the blowjob machine on Jacob next time it goes down to Florida the puppet palace Yeah, she could actually hold it for you ventriloquism puppet voices crooning and Basic country music are all things anybody can do What if she does that though,
Starting point is 00:25:05 and that's the only way that you could come now, is if a puppet sings to you, then he's in a weird world. What if that happens to all of us? This lady doesn't? What if we have to get Don and Christine to have puppets? She's, yeah, schizophrenic might be the right word, dude. She lives, she's in a weird place.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Yeah, can we go back to the regular videos like the wider videos not the not the Yeah, like that one down the fourth of July show you go somewhere We're like what's the one in the middle with a green one to see her disturbing right there? We already did that one. Yeah, it's a left to the left the one with the head over the the bushes How about the how about the alien with the blowjob mouth? What's this weird animal could you imagine golfing and seeing this weirdo? Yes singing rose
Starting point is 00:25:57 Why is everything right off the interstate She's not making a lot of money I Know but I mean Jesus Christ go somewhere go to a park. Why is everything right in front of her? She had to get the corner unit. Sorry you guys might notice there's some ice road trucking happening behind me. Jesus. So loud. They're laying new asphalt. Sorry, sorry. Okay. Listen how loud it is. Sounds like a plane. That's the highway. Hang on, low coming plane.
Starting point is 00:26:32 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH息 okay, okay. Oh, she's still going. Lady, get off the tar back. Happy Mother's Day. Aww. Bobby, I swear to you, this is 50,000 times less embarrassing than your Valentine's Day cameos. That's true.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yeah, does she do cameos? You know what? Thinking on that, you make a good boy. Hey, Melissa. As embarrassing as it is, I sing to my dog like that a little bit. That's not embarrassing. That's your dog. That's international waters. I sing her to dog like that a little bit That's international waters When I come home I sing and I've seen her of course I've made up three songs full songs about my girl Oh, I've got so many Dawkins songs out there. They're covers that Dawkins is now injected into yeah
Starting point is 00:27:19 Just Dawkins off the off the rip who knows man man. Just a basic EAG, you know, I mean nothing crazy I'd like to see if I could hire Bonnie to make a video for my friend Bobby See if you can hire see if you can hire her for pornography. I want to see if she's hit a point where you can hire her for porn. Would you be interested in doing some pornography? We'll double your quote. $600.
Starting point is 00:27:54 What, you know it's three hundo? No. Is it say, probably says around the site how much it costs. That could be a game changer. Wait, so let me ask you a question. If I'm buying her a cameo for Bobby, that's like a Bonio. But just like, is she doing the porn?
Starting point is 00:28:08 She's not that down when she did a cameo. No, just ask her to do like a, say look. I was at a low point. Ask her, listen, ask her to say, say listen, I want you to do a cameo for my friend Bobby. Accidentally let a nipple fall out, hail Hitler before it ends. Do you have a Hitler puppet? Bonnie, can you possibly make a Hitler
Starting point is 00:28:26 puppet? She has that little board on the hand to shoot up. You always got to do it with it. She has a doll. Hell. Hell. I see your hands, Bonnie. It's not really Hitler. Bobby, did you pull Cupid off the internet? No, I did not why don't you dare say I? I would I would never do that to the bones our friends Why would I know the happiness that brings me no no they're up there get Bonnie to make a video now They have them I haven't got a cameo in a long time Yeah, she'd uh I don't think I don't think they've all of her numbers, like let's say a gang bang, an interracial gang bang,
Starting point is 00:29:06 if she charges different for that. What if she uses, She is from a different time. What if she uses the Puppet Bukkake. Monkey puppet to fuck the Rose puppet and to blow the, Puppet pornography?
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah, there you go. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm thinking of ways we can incorporate the auto blow. Okay guys, this is why we have these, this is why we have these crushes at this.
Starting point is 00:29:24 This is what happens. No ideas are bad ideas right this could totally go in the mouth of the rose puppet oh probably you can unfortunately will never know because she doesn't really work the mouths of her puppets it's not her game so much she just sings in her own voice and shows you that she owns puppets she kind of upside down on her hand you notice that anytime the puppets mouth is moving she's never in the video Yes, she's hiding under a bush because she's a professional. Oh Here's my favorite
Starting point is 00:29:51 There we go. Hey Bobby, this is a video where you were on Dawn's hand Oh my Lou you know everybody love you that I fat I was. I was the perfect Cupid. You're the queen of memes. You're one of the funniest people in the Calter and County. This is why, man, this is why guys... COVID was rough for everybody. This is why guys think they can disrespect you
Starting point is 00:30:16 in front of your son up where you are in New Hampshire. Oh, God, imagine if he saw this. Oh, God. That should be a billboard on 95. He doesn't know about these? He doesn't know about these? No. No, he's not in one of the cupid ones, is he?
Starting point is 00:30:29 Isn't he in one of them? Who? Max. I don't think so. Maybe. No. I believe so. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:30:37 He was in the pillow commercial. I would hold that over you forever. This makes me want to dump Dawn. I see that. I really want to dump her now that I got... I actually... And you're like, this made me feel terrible when everybody was laughing at This and she was like well it made us 50 bucks that day
Starting point is 00:30:50 250 I got five of them Only fuck I would have accepted that if you were like dude. You don't even understand for a month I had to do 150 of these a day day He goes I bought my second house with it. It's not what it was Dawn did this to hold it over you and then if you ever leave her she's gonna be well, this is gonna be the thing I'd rather Bobby. This is more embarrassing than my wiener picture at Patrice's fucking barbecue. It's close Close I mean your wiener was weird The wieners were I take it back weird
Starting point is 00:31:32 It was out of a shower. I just fuck Leaning on a fucking dorsal. I can't believe you let that girl take that picture I'm either I get it was it was like before the internet. It was right where the internet was popping you had If social media was around Oh 21 years game I mean my space at most would have been the thing that was around did she take a picture with a phone? Could you believe if reddit was around back then she put it on correct? It's not even that if someone just did that to me with that picture Now it would be a fucking thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:06 It's not around, it's gone. I think I died on Patrice's computer, quite honestly. I'm gonna fucking go to Patrice's storage unit that his mom still has. Right next to his box of glass dildos. Rob brought a gift that I brought up, I wanted to wait. Oh, what'd he bring?
Starting point is 00:32:21 What'd you bring, Rob? I brought you guys cannolis. Oh! Oh, cannolioli when I come to New York I was having cannoli and a big old cream cheese with locks tomato and onion Jacob take one of those things I always get take one of those cannolis and stick it in your blowjob machine I did a fucking puppet thing with Otto and George with with Otto. I did a thing where we did uh It was a porno, but it but he was trying to find another gig. This is 1993, 94, like right there.
Starting point is 00:32:50 And Otto didn't drive, so I used to drive him to all his gigs and hang out with him. And we did this whole little video, like we're right to DVD thing, he was gonna sell it. It was like a Teletubbies thing. He was gonna become a Teletubby, that was the thing, because he couldn't get a job. And George needed a job, so he was gonna go on the Teletubby, so we all dressed up as Teletubbies thing. He was going to become a Teletubby. That was the thing, because he couldn't get a job. And George needed a job, so he was
Starting point is 00:33:06 going to go on the Teletubby. So we all dressed up as Teletubbies and made Chips Cooney, me, Otto. And yeah, it was fucking. Dude, I drove. I was driving my car like this, and I had George in front of me. It looks like he's driving my car. And he's looking at Otto going, you piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:33:24 I'm fucking driving you around, you cocksucker. He was out of his tree. Chips Cooney, I'll never forget Chips Cooney, that was the best dude, he was doing the fake magic to open his thing, he was opening for me. I was just starting to come out, it was Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
Starting point is 00:33:39 I was headlining the club, one nighter, and he was the feature actor. I didn't pick that, I didn't like, there was no disrespect on my end in any way. He was just a guy. And I remember him being like, I just came off doing the Insomniac tour with Attell. And I remember all he was tying his magician's cape to go on stage. He's like, he's like, where, he's like, what do you work? You working around New York or whatever? I was like, yeah. I was like, I just got off the, I opened for a tell on his Insomniac tour for a couple of theaters.
Starting point is 00:34:09 And he goes, oh, he goes, a tell us what's doing in theaters now. Good to hear that. He was always a good kid. And you're just like, why is tying? It's like, and then when he came, and then when he came busting into the room, when he was done on stage,
Starting point is 00:34:21 I didn't know what was gonna, I didn't know what his closing bit was. He came in the room, old naked with underwear with a fake shit stain on them and holding clamps nipple clamps and he's holding he's holding his entire his entire clothes in his hand yeah it was uh something yeah I really I really can't make fun of a guy because I had to have Don help me put wings on and that was like a month ago moment like that where he didn't have a green room so when the show ended he just had to get dressed in front of the crowd that he just stripped in front of yes now oh re-applying your
Starting point is 00:35:01 clothing is so even strippers do that it looks looks weird. It was bad. I felt horrible. Even strippers take their clothes and they go off. Like when they get off, when they're done dancing strippers, they grab the outfit. And run back. And they leave like to go put it back on. They don't actually sit there. Cause then you gotta do a bunch of like the, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:16 like straightening out the strap on their ass crack. He hated girlfriend. He was getting dressed and everyone's like, she can stop bringing up my. Go to the diner Last tour every tour I did at the very last show I would take all my clothes off and throw them into the crowd because they had shit because they were just Eight weeks of tell you it when I was first starting comedy You still throw your clothes on the audience. Yeah, Otto was doing
Starting point is 00:35:42 Joker's wild in New Haven and it was like a Tuesday. And I got there so early, I'm like, it's gonna be sold out, because I was a massive fan. And there wasn't a lot of people there, and I felt really, really bad. And he did the show to like five or six of us, and it was rough.
Starting point is 00:35:59 But we talked afterwards, and he was like a super cool guy. But that was kind of a rough end towards the end of his career, huh? So you drove him around around then? No, I drove him in the early and mid-90s. I used to drive him all the time. I hung out with him a lot. He was a friend.
Starting point is 00:36:13 He was awesome. He was awesome. He'd up and down drugs, and he got clean, and then he was fun and really cool to be around, and then he passed away, man,, which is sucked but sexually assaulted my mother Yeah, I always Actually, that's cool. I know they have good memories, but just know there was two sides. Yeah We don't always know what goes on back there. I took a picture of Bonnie's number and I'm gonna be reaching out
Starting point is 00:36:40 Oh, I know you are Mike is gonna get Bonnie in our lives for sure. Yeah. Bring the alligator and make it talk bitch. Oh I know we gotta take a break. We gotta take a break. Do you have a read? Do you have a read? I have a read. We have a read. Give me them plugs Christine. Give me them plugs. You know the Mike Fennoy special Don't Let Me Down is currently out on YouTube. Go watch it again. See it again for the first time, like ET.
Starting point is 00:37:09 For tour dates, make sure you go to MikeFennoy.com and follow at Mike Fennoy on all social media. Rob, do we have stuff for Rob? He's got a show on Friday night. Where is he, Rob? Yeah, Dingbats in New Jersey in Clifton. Oh, nice. That's a cool name, the Dingbats.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah, we're doing all Exodus from my my era like my era exodus so really Is that what the guys from or is a generation kill? I think we learned a whole bunch of exodus songs. Oh really yeah, so it's exciting It's gonna rip exodus man. It's gonna be fun. That's fucking great. Yeah, Robert Kelly's gonna be the comedy connection this Saturday if you're in Providence, Rhode Island That's August 17th this Saturday, and then stand up live in Phoenix September 6th and the 7th Hilarities in Cleveland September 20th and 21st after that skankfest co-host New York San Diego, California And of course you can catch Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m
Starting point is 00:37:56 At the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar for tickets all tour dates and all this content punch up dot live Slash Robert Kelly and Big, the beautiful Big Jay, is gonna be at the Funny Bone in Albany, August 23rd and 24th, Empire Comedy Club Portland, Maine, August 30th and 31st, and then he's gonna be in Dallas, Omaha. He's gonna be at Skank Fest, of course, tickets all of the tour days.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Go to bigjaycomedy.com. I leave in the morning for the gathering of the Juggalos. Woof. Three days. Yeah, yeah the gathering shot nope I Got it I wanted The cure for everything I believe I'm judging miss jugalette contest don't get tattooed Sanitary try to find somebody there for the show. Oh, I could definitely find somebody for a burnout.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Oh, there are going to be so many things there. They're like, I could fit a cock through my tongue hole. Like, okay. Come in. Come in. That might just be the whole burn unit. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

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