The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bad Boy Bobby (feat. Rachel Feinstein)

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

A listener accuses Bob of being too right-wing. Rachel Feinstein does old-timey voices that make Bobby die laughing to the dismay of Jay. Jacob follows a dandy gentlemen to learn how to be a man. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Now... Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, You need some fucking tweezers to put that little thing away? Dad has got to be the smallest dick I have ever seen God In my whole life Get the fuck out of here

Remember the 90s when you could just shame men? 90s? You can do that now You just shame little dick men Remember that time? What a better time What's up everybody? We're back, it's the bonfire We have a very special guest in studio. A great guest in studio. Yeah I'm your guest? No not you. Oh you can't read sorry.

Her new special big guy streaming right now on Netflix and she's on tour with dates coming up in Jersey City, Aptos, California, Toronto, Kansas City, Panama Beach and you can get tickets at her website Rachel dash Feinstein calm. It's Rachel Feinstein everybody What's happening really taking that imaginary Applauds and it really felt like it was for me. It does feel good I'll tell you what I'm so used to that on this show that when I go to shows and they do that and just like Three radio guys or the two other do that and just like three radio guys or the two other podcasters just like,

just hear their claps, you're like, that sucks, I go, why don't you just pump in like a, a stadium of people, it's so easy, watch, we'll do it again, everybody, Rachel Feinstein's joining us today on the show, come on. Thank you. Yeah. Get off my dick. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.o, rage-o.

It feels fantastic. I'll take it. I just did like this interview with, I think, I can't remember what it was. I think it was Daily Beast. And I always have the mic wrong. And Bobby always has to fix it with me for me. I got you.

Girl. And I did, I did this interview. and they were like, they asked them something about this special and what I thought it might change, if I thought it might change my life. And I said in a dumb again 1950s voice, I go, by the time it comes out, I'll be a star. And they fucking printed that with no,

like, I just look like the biggest twat in all the lands. Out of context? Yeah, it's just like the quote of the article twat in all the land out of context By the time this comes out of it be a star like what a dumb con yeah says yeah says hi on the horse Rachel Feinstein it makes me look insane When this comes out, I'm not gonna remember your fucking name asshole, whoever Whoever this piece of shit writer is. Oh my God. No, that's bad. That's a bad context for you to take that up.

It's not good. I have to like, I might make a video on my Instagram because it's like being circulated. I'm like, I look like a ludicrous asshole. I have to clear this up. We'll wait to see if it happens first. Who says that? Maybe it might happen.

You're about to see my name in lights, losers. Well, it's out there. It's like on Twitter and everywhere else. Everybody that reads it probably sets screenshots on all the people that don't care for me one bit, probably setting it back and forth. Like, look at this dumb skank. Thank you, I'm just a new star. It's the curse of the character. Twitter and everywhere else everybody that reads it probably set screenshots and all the people that don't care for me one bit probably Setting it back and forth like look at this dumb skank. It's the curse of the character Bobby plays an alt-right psychopath on this show

Bobby there's another one. There's another one by the way came in Bobby next one said had to get rid of serious XM Love you, bro But if I have to hear any I swear I don't know what they're talking about this guy this is a second one Bobby the first one I told you about this guy goes I can't listen anymore Bobby's hateful speech what are they talking about I ever said anything hateful no I wonder what he's even referring to they caught him right his right wing mumbo-jumbo I think Bobby gets mad about it's like when you don't want to stay's even referring to. They've caught him right, his right wing mumbo jumbo. I feel like the only thing Bobby gets mad about is like when you don't wanna stay longer at a barbecue or something.

Yeah, Bobby just wants company. If you take away Bobby's company, he's gonna be pissed. But that's it. First of all, cause then you leave him alone in a dark place. First of all, I love being alone. Jay, you're the one who can't be alone. I love being alone.

Tummy time. You do not like it. You have a guy in the room with you doing tummy time. You've come in to do tummy time? I do believe on your honeymoon, I heard that, I heard like at your wedding, didn't you have like other comics in your room? Yes. Oh yeah.

Yes, you can't be alone. Yeah, we had a big thing in our hotel room afterwards. Hey, you hate being alone. You never like, I love, I'm sitting in my backyard by myself all the time. Oh yeah, before we went on, we did a show at the Paramount and there was people backstage and everyone was hanging out, hooting and hollering, and then at one point I go, where's Bobby?

And Bobby was finding his chi, his center in a room by himself. I went into another room to kind of get my shit together, what I'm gonna do on stage, and Jay's in the back with fucking 19 people, hanging out, smoking weed, and that's his thing he likes a Group of people around him at all times All times all times. I've never seen you alone. You love people around

Jay does like a lot of people but it is I go on the road alone when you go That's your thing is usually when somebody insults you though. They go. That's your thing. That's you that's fine That's good. You spit when you talk. That's your thing is usually when somebody insults you though they go that's your thing that's you that's fine that's fine. Did you spit when you talk that's your thing. Let me ask a question. It's your identity. Let me ask you a question. Well I really this the first time you said that to me it bothered me. I've only said that I because you said somebody said that I'm a right-wing guy. I am I am a registered Democrat. I voted for Biden. Here's the thing. I only said I like the police and first responders and I love America. How is that right wing? I don't know.

I don't understand what these fucking, I'm glad you canceled your fucking subscription because you're a mental patient. Well, he can't hear it. If you think he'll get this. Someone will get this. Yeah, the month turned over. I'm fucking so sick of it. If you think he'll get this. Someone will get this to me. The month turned over. I'm fucking so sick of it.

It's fucking retarded. Oh, there's two people, if I'm being honest. But I mean, there's are two, I don't understand. Maybe the second. Bobby, do you know the messages I get every single day? Like, you have no idea. Like what? And I internalize every single one of them.

Yeah, but saying, if I was like, I'm voting for Trump and fucking this, you know, all's I care about is I like America, But saying if I if I was like I'm voting for Trump and fucking this, you know, the I All I care about is I like America I'm very patriotic and I like the police and the firefighters and I love the troops and And I love all I care about is the freedom is free bitch and I think if If you're protesting and you hate Jews, I don't like you The zog machine. Jew by Jew by Jew.

The white man marches. It's fucking. I will say this, not our week. Not our week. I'm getting the craziest messages. Like I never post anything political ever. I don't either. I think that the far left is as crazy as the far right is as crazy as the far left and I get messages I'll be like I'm doing a date in Tampa and they'll be like die you guys I'm lucky I'm lucky in that my mom's Jewish my dad

isn't so and I have his last name So my name you you'll get that because of simply your last name reading so Joe So I've never no one's coming if they don't mean they go if they come up to me and they're like People like free Palestine. I'm sure that's your thing. Sure. I guess that's your thing free Palestine If someone goes I literally I'll switch from conversation it kind of goes Israel needs to be defended and this has to end. Like, yeah, you're right too, dude. And I just keep it moving. I mean, people are, everybody just

loves screaming at everybody and telling them what to do. And both sides. Everybody just tells you what's right and wrong. And like, yeah, I'm just, come on. Again, can a bitch sell some tickets for her late show in Tampa? But now, every other message I get is like you rat pig. I've never said I don't say anything political ever Come see Rachel preach Israel at the Tampa side spinners

I love that they're sneaky bitches to come to me I love that they're sneaky bitches to come to me DM me oh you're don't don't go to my friend and DM him behind my back you you're a grown man I would imagine a grown man and then dude. I'm fucking sorry dude It could be a Mississippi teenager, you know any J writes back I write man I got I go I try to tell the guy to chill out man with all that crazy shit dude. Bobby hates abortions, he hates everything. I'm a big fan, I've had a few of them. Yourself?

Yeah, but you did three years with a hanger on yourself. Is this working right? Am I doing this right? I'm a big fan. Don't sing that. Sorry, sorry, Poppy. Don't sing that. Sorry. Sorry, Poppy. Don't sing that.

I'm sorry, Poppy, I was wrong and you were right. Didn't you say when you had the guy, when you had the guy who sang the song on the show. Hang on, I'm not that laughing. Go ahead, take your laugh. So I went to thinking again and you'd left the paper out. It's your fault on account of you left the paper out when you went down to do the job. I was just stirring my bowl and just keep stirring it, but then all of a sudden I saw

them words on the page and I got to thinking out loud all kinds of ideas about how to fix stuff all over the world. And then I realized I'm nothing but a girl. I don't have nothing in my brain but a few recipes and nothing else. You're gonna break Bobby. He falls to pieces. Jay doesn't understand why I love it so much. I love it. He doesn't get it. No, no Bobby just says his thing. It's so vague. He goes, I love voices. That's his thing. I love voices. I like characters but that character fucking kills me. I love it. I like characters, but that character fucking kills me. I love it.

You didn't say I like characters. You said I like voices. I like voices. And then you and Dan fucking bat at eyes at each other for 10 minutes. I love Dan's voices. Bobby loves voices. Dan makes me crack up.

I love it. I love it. Dan is funny. I love yours. I just did his podcast. Yeah, Jay, we love yours. My voice is silly. Why don't you take in a compliment?

Yeah, why don't you take in a compliment? I hate it. Get in and sit with it. My voice is stupid. I only do three of them and they all suck. Everything is dumb and I'm ugly. Christine is going to bang this black porn star. Yeah, before you came in we played a rousing game of would Christine fuck this guy where we showed several pictures. The answer generally is she would.

And then she picked the one, she had to pick one overall and it was Jason Love, black male porn star Jason Love. Can I see a picture please? You don't want to. Yeah. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me.

I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. I'm going to show you a picture of me. Generally she would and then she picked the one she had to pick one overall and it was Jason love

black or male porn star You don't want to you sure can Give me like five comics. I know I'm like no I wouldn't have sex with any of them I know but you said you would at the end of it. You said you picked one Yeah, then you picked the honest you big honest at the end. We picked the most of all the that was the game That was the game. That was the game. This guy here. This guy won.

Dear God. Dear God is right. Wait, you didn't even see his weakness? You want to see? No, because I don't want to. That's just a problem. People think girls sit around and talk about how they want some sort of ludicrous.

No, no one needs that. Well, Christine picked this. Right, but she didn't pick his. I was about to say pee pee. She did. She didn't pick his pee pee was about to say pee pee. She did. No, you're wrong. She didn't make her decision until she saw his pee pee.

I'm sure you guys just harassed and wore her down until she said a series of things like fine. Not at all. She grabbed the pen as soon as she saw him. She wrote copious notes. Who's the other douche that you made? It was between him and this, what's his name? James Grage.

James Grage. I knew this was going to be the end. I knew it was between him and this, what's his name? James Grage. James Grage. Let's see who it was. I knew this was gonna be the end, I knew it was gonna be this guy. I don't like any man that does like a photo shoot like that though, it's silly, with little tight bathing suit panties, it's just dumb. This guy here Rachel, this is the other guy.

These guys are all ridiculous. So it was between those two. Any guy that videotapes himself working out, first of all, it's such a turn off. By the way, I know he has a sea of pussy and doesn't need me in my nonsense, but he would absolutely leave me right on the curb with my fucking Nordstrom rack bag.

She said what? That guy. But look at this, it's ridiculous. Just this red face lunatic. Jacob subscribes to this. But he's, it's what he does for a living. He's a fitness expert. He's a gay squatter.

He has a maniacal look in his eyes. And I don't, it's just all I'm saying is not that that's not his job, but that it's, I don't find that attractive. I bet this guy grifts- Because he's unhinged. Jacob loves him. And it's a lot.

Jacob loves him. This guy grifts old ladies for money, I bet. Guys will always be like, get this idea of like what women collectively want, and they'll be like, that's your thing. And I'm like, no. We don't want a man like Greece laying around on rocks and videotaping himself lifting.

We gave her an array of men. It's true. We didn't give her just these guys. Show her the other men. But we busted them with comics. No, the other. You can't say that she wants to fuck people Jay knows, and she probably files them like men do and once you realize you're not

Gonna sleep with somebody that's not that energy you put them in a box. I wish dawn would lay it out to me Wake her up, dude We offer her a kpop twink we give her a tape that turn that down really she we offered her guys She already had sex with turn that down turn that guy down. Just give me any baseball player, like a thick thigh, but this is silliness. A thick thigh. Well, Christine and Pictus got it. I said, I think Christine finds a little bit of femininity

in over caring about working out and filming and sculpting muscle. I think she finds a femininity to that. Yeah. Well, let's let the woman speak, even though it should be illegal What do you what do you feel Christine Christine? You may answer

This guy's dude, they're both douchey I mean one's like a male porn star gross and this guy's a male workout coach gross But the rest now they gave me Kelsey cook and this guy's a male workout coach, gross, but the rest of it was, they gave me Kelsey Cook, Yannis, Josh Eddermeyers, Big Irish J, John F. O'Donnell, and a K-pop star. So what am I supposed to do? Yeah.

It was a terrible grouping of people. It could be Yannis. But it is a bunch of different people. It is a bunch of different people, but then it was actually though, it was seven comics and three other people. Seven comics, a K-pop star, and two bodybuilders. Any guy that is coaching other men

about how to be more manly is disgusting. I thought the game should have had, here, if you want to be on my road of manliness, just follow along. Jacob loves this guy. I mean, you really. I mean, it's not his boyfriend. Jacob watches videos of gentlemen showing you

what thing you should shave with, like a gentleman. Any man that's doing coaching like that, I don't believe in this man. Please, Jacob, what's the name of the guy? No, come on. I don't follow him like a... Wait, Jacob, do you watch like masculine coaches? Come on. Bobby does this too, just so you know.

Bobby's going to try to deflect. I'm not going to deflect. I am not going to deflect. Bobby's also into this. I don't know why you're turning on me today, just so you know. Bobby's gonna try to deflect. I'm not gonna deflect. I am not gonna deflect. Bobby's also into this. I don't know why you're turning on me today, you piece of shit. Listen to me. You really are. Louis is out of town. The fucking mood swing you had between the shows. Louis is out of town.

Listen to me. Yes, I'm listening. Settle down. Listen to me. You do not back down from this. You love Kirby. Stick up for it. I do. But I mean, I use the James Grange videos to workout too. Right? And Kirby too. It works for me.

And what does Kirby do? He teaches you how to dress classically. Mm-hmm, great. Classic gentleman style. Like a suit. He's a wiener. Yeah, he does not look like it. He's a masculine coach. Oh my God.

No, he's not a masculine coach. He is. What is he? This is ridiculous. He looks like my tax attorney. This is not a man you go to for manly lessons. I didn't go to him for that. Jacob, don't you back down. You stand up for what you believe in.

Purely for dress. Jacob, you have a time out. I'm sorry, you're in a time out right now because I need to take in this great horse shit. I don't go to him for masculinity. Kirby would not put up with this. His suit's too big for him. Oh my dear God.

That's a custom fitted suit. His custom suit is too big. This is the kind of guy. She pulls up the same video every time. This is the kind of guy. Oh my stars. I named Jacob any video. Yeah, that guy looks like he'spper. This one's lame too.

They're all lame. Who puts their shoes on their desk and shines them like Mr. Rogers or something? Rachel, in this video, he goes to England and he has a classic martini made for him. For fuck's sake. There's a certain way you have to make it. I like to send him on some trips.

What a gentleman. Is there another guy? Who's the guy who shows? I didn't say I want to live his life. It's not about that. Here's what you do. You put a kerchief in your pocket. Here are some other ways to pretend to be human. Jacob met Jimmy Carr and it was like looking at like a vision from heaven that he would love to-

I like Jimmy Carr's style. Jimmy is pretty fun. He's a good guy. I like his style. No, no, he's great. I'm saying just the overall, Jimmy's like, I I'm gonna put on like a less fancy suit on Sundays like like Jacob does enjoy that But also Jake wants to be a cowboy. He wants to be a gentleman and a cowboy which those two things don't overlap a lot It's a pickle. They do if you're if you're on yellow

Okay, so like why don't you just go to the Halloween store? Yellow status guys. Let me ask you this, okay, so why don't you just go to the Halloween store? Why are you fucking your life up with these men? And this is a lot of screen time for you. You know what he needs? He needs his screen time taken away because this is not good for him.

Maybe you should come to work in a smoking jacket. Jacob, she has a bag of Neiman Marcus clothes. She's into fashion. Don't you back down from this. Look at her. You think she's dressed like a hobo? Her whole outfit is expensive. She has to hide money from her husband so she can go buy shopping shit. You think she has a fucking bathroom full of magazines of a bunch of broads going, this is in fashion now. Don't you back down from her. You stick up for her.

I know that if a baseball player she says she's into would walk in here dressed like a gentleman, a classic gentleman, wouldn't be any shit talking about it. No, it's because of why. I don't mind that you like to wear suits. I think that's, I love men in suits. That's great. That's all.

What I'm concerned about is that you feel you need to take in this type of content and any sort of like masculine how to be a man coach, just go buy some suits. I feel like, and that's not the guy, that guy looks like one day he's gonna kill his wife. Putting his shoes on his desk like that and shining them.

Yeah, he's gonna make a suit out of his wife's skin. Well, this is one angle of what Bobby, this is one angle of what Bobby... This is one angle of what Bobby and Jacob enjoy as far as masculinity training. Training is great. They're also freshmen in Dante's man school. Oh, God. And also... I'm fucking with you.

No, no, no. You're out of your mind. But Bobby, Bobby, who's the other one? Because then there's also a guy who teaches them how to be masculine in like Paint your face and hide in the sewers and you can kill your own food kind of thing. Who's that guy? Actually, he's not an asshole I might be working with him in September. He's a Ex Again, I guess I'm a right-wing guy. He's a ex, again, I guess I'm a right wing guy.

He's an ex Marine that fought for this country. Trump 2024, Bob. So you can send DMs to fucking Big J so you have the freedom. Bobby's hate speech. I fucking hate that little fucking. Bobby said nothing hateful the entire run of the show. I've never said anything hateful about him. What are you talking about? said anything hateful about it right wing we don't talk politics at all never oh you

pussies I am his name he's a he's a survivalist that's Bobby I'm Jay and to get our full show sign up for a seriousius XM subscription at Sirius XM com slash bonfire Support our show don't be some jerk off. Just taking the free stuff. Let him know you want us to be here forever Oh, we won't or we won't subscribe And he goes out and What's his name, but you're trying to not have his bring up his name. I'm bringing go to the woods. And he goes out and. What's his name, Bob? You're trying to not have us bring up his name. I'm bringing up his name, I'm just, I'm bringing up.

Is he one of those guys that tells you how to make fire in the woods, Bob? You're never gonna need a lawyer to do that shit. You are an air conditioning guy. I am not. He's prepared. I am not. I go out in the woods all the time. I've done it a bunch of times, I go out in the woods.

Me, Ari, Big Joe List, I've gone out in the woods. the time. I've done it a bunch of times. I go out in the woods. Me, Ari, Joe List, I've gone out in the woods. Big Joe List. No, right, I mean listen, by the way, I say that as I am not a camper. I guess you do go camping, so maybe you are. I do. Okay, so you do like camping. Well, let me just say this.

Hiking, camping, yeah. But these things, you're not gonna have to eat a rat or something or whatever like those guys. No, no. I feel like you're, you like Wi-Fi too, and you like gadgets. I feel like you're gonna be a I am a well-rounded Man, yes, I like no Bobby. I will say I defend Bobby. I defend you here

I would like I would finally like you to defend me. I defend you all the time when people are coming at you attacking your politics So what you just think black and white people should be different places not one dead I would love to send a letter about you. What What is this? Fuck, I got letters about you guys. Do you want me to send a letter? Read? Oh, guess what, Bobby? Christine remembered the name of the guy. Yeah, let's read a letter about

how somebody doesn't like me. Can we go to Reddit and read about you? Quote it. The truth is I'm afraid, I'm afraid of what a real man Bobby is. It's a small part of me. No, Bobby. You just can't take it.

Shh, shh. Letter finish. I don't hear let her finish I don't hear Raccoon at night if push came to shove and I suppose there's a part of me that just gets wild when I even think about Rachel it's Donnie does so exhausting. It's Donnie Dust. This is so exhausting. What is he doing? He is a, he. Oh man. He's helping out your curiosity with wildlife.

Even that vest looks depleting. That's a warm vest. You need something that- I don't, I'm not a woods person. I'm a beach person. We know you're not a woods person. Do you think Bobby- We're looking at your fucking spray tan.

We know you couldn't go out in the woods. Do you think Bobby owns a quiver? I do have a really fat spray tan. I think Bobby might own a. Do you think Bobby owns a quiver? I think Bobby might own a quiver. I do have a quiver. I have a comp. I have a compound bow Yes, Christine Gee, you know when the apocalypse comes you're dead You know Christine said to me I said I want to get a big ass one of those crazy knives in order to them online And she goes why and I didn't really have an answer I'll give you one

Yeah Because it's gonna be used if anybody's gets a hold of that you'll be dead in a more violent way than you would have I was walking home. Was that another good answer? Why that? Cuz Rambo? Cuz Rambo's so dumb. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home.

I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home.

I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home. I was walking home Was that a good answer why that cuz Rambo cuz Rambo's My brother one night and I was like and there's guy across the street My brother gave him like this wild look and I was like, what was that? Like he was like some quiet businessman

He's like, oh, I just like had to quickly imagine how I'd kill him in my head I'm like what the fuck Justin and he's like every guy does that. You have to quickly imagine how you would defend yourself. I'm like, we're in Santa Monica. I do it. I think my knife's gonna be, I like my knife being held kinda down so I could, it's a picture that's the murder I'm delivering. Do you guys do that?

If you see a guy around you, imagine how you would. 75 times a day. Yeah, no doubt. Every time I'm outside, I always look around, make sure, all right, that it could be a problem that guy Anytime I'm an elevator I I Immediately go into my head of how I would take care of this person and then when I get past them that's over

Then I go back and I relive it in my head with adding in Things I said in crazier things like there was three of them and I go the first one who starts talking the shit I maybe I've do the two fingers in his nose thing and lift it up, I go, what, your friend's got something to say too? And then they all sort of back down from my aggressive behavior. I do it at Max's lacrosse game. I've fought every father there.

Every time I go there, I pick out, he's a problem, I'll take him. Which kid's father gave you the most trouble? Which one's father gave you the most trouble? You won every one. It was on the other team. Oh really? Yeah, he was a problem.

His little bitch boy? He was a- Was that the Hispanic neighborhood? No, it was Italian or Lebanese or some shit. Nah dude, even your Lebanese dad gonna beat you up. You know Bobby was thinking, shoulda put him back on that bus they came from. Shoulda stayed on that boat.

What do you want me to leave you with? I mean listen, I just think- Bobby, I don't mean these things I say. I suppose you could take me to the lobotomy factory after all. I suppose it's where I belong. When I start to make my brain think, now it's anyone's guess where it's going to end. I'll tell you this, it won't be good. Probably in prison.

Or maybe even a lesbian like my cousin. Somebody should probably. Today I met a real survivalist and he had the longest chain wallet you ever saw in his life. And his name was Big J. Olferson. And I was scared something awful. I wish my chain wallet had any other sort of some other function, bushcraft function. It doesn't even have a wallet function doesn't have a wall attached to it man that could kill a real raccoon at Ozfest

James a chain wall with no wallet really no it just goes to nowhere Jacob's called it it says my I have a chain that's connected to lies he said he he told me today that he has all this stuff in his back pocket Just to take away from his his flat ass No for sure yeah, I pad up my ass with things in my pockets big scarf with things in my pockets. Big scarf. Yeah, I got a flat ass. We saw Soder walking away today.

And that's one flat ass. It's the worst. It really does. It looks like he's carrying, like he stores a book in there. Yeah, he looks like a piece of paper. So I did his pod yesterday. I didn't really clock his ass. I don't check to ass it man.

No, that's what he keeps. He sits on the couch the whole time. So it's really, you don't really get a shot to go to his ass Christina you attracted to Donnie dust Come on This guy makes you do shit on a Sunday, he's not easy He's exhausted I picture he's fucking exhausting. He goes, he goes, honey, I'm going to go, I'm going to cook some up tonight.

And you go, OK, he goes, I'm going to go sharpen all the knives first. And, ah, fuck, dude, just use the knives. He doesn't use knives. He uses obsidian knives that he makes himself. What does that mean? Obsidian knife? You don't know what that is?

He makes the knives before he cooks. It's just kidding. He makes his own knives before he cooks. It's just kidding. He makes his own knife before he cooks. Who asked that question? Obsidian knives. You don't know what obsidian knives are. It's the original. No one's ever asked that question before.

Before there was steel, they used obsidian for knives. It's like a rock. Were Wolverines made out of them? Slow down, Bobby. My brain doesn't get it yet. You happy? Rachel's gonna shut off. Can I just, his life seems like, yeah, real tiring.

Like, what's that kind of, what's the type of pans that you have to wash in some special way? I always forget the, cast iron. Cast iron pans. So I'm always in trouble with my husband because I didn't rinse it right and do the thing. Like, I didn't like rinse it right to do the thing like I just want something I have to do the least amount of just hurl it in a dishwasher This guy makes his own knives this guy makes his before dinner. I actually have he sent me a couple

I have a couple did he obsidian knives? Yeah, he gets obsidian Which is like a rock like like a lava type of rock. He sends you gifts like a lady. He's courting you He's courting you right now, dude, this is bushcraft courting Well, I'm flattered he Make a twine condom and fucking rip your insides apart They make they make he makes arrow arrowheads used to be made out of obsidian knives, knives. Everything they used to hunt with was made with obsidian. Where do you find this loose obsidian?

Just out in the fucking, you just grab it. Oh, you don't know. It's out in the, you can just grab the obsidian knives, obsidian rocks everywhere. What's this made of? Femur and obsidian? That's it right there, that's it. Obsidian. That's obsidian. And it's actually the sharpest knife in the world,

obsidian knife. Oh boy. You're not the one this guy made. Oh my God. I just want to eat. Look at this guy. It's actually the sharpest knife that you'll ever be able to get your hands on. That sounds like something a kid would say between Puffin and Haler. It really is. As a matter of fact, of all the obsidian knives, this one would be the first in my chart of never getting pussy ever again in my entire life. I'm a fool. I mean, this is bat shit to go through this.

Why? That's the way they did it. Thousands of years they did that. It's like being close to nature, Bobby. You get to, uh. I love all of them. It's like, I thought it was Dawn. I fucking love all of them. I thought it was Dawn. I fucking love all of them.

I mean, Dawn hates this too. So he just gets up like, oh my god. Oh, he's making a sword. Does he ever like, I mean, he doesn't have time to do other man things when he does that. Like, he's never gonna make the fourth quarter if he's outside. Dude, this guy would have to fuck it.

This guy must have to jerk off with a loofah to have it feel less rough. Dude, where do they live? And does he watch TV? Is he like Amish in a way? Like where he watched new stuff? He lived in a cave for eight years out in the wilderness by himself.

What, is that true? That's true. Why are you asking Jacob? He turned to me, I don't know. I'm telling you, it's true. Why would you not believe him? He lived exclusively in a cave for eight years. Yeah, he lived in a cave for eight years.

What do you think him and that guy shining his shoes on his desk would do together? What would their fun loving prom comp be about? They would not get along. That would be like the odd couple. Bobby, that's so weird. Like eight years in a cave isn't true. No, it is true.

Every day, you can't join society again. They tried this with Greystoke. You don't like come out better that's not a good idea. You can't reassimilate the society if they're eight years in a cave you're not gonna be alright man. It's not good, it's not a good look. Not everybody needs fucking you know, pedophilia to get it. You're like, Donnie, Donnie where you been? I'd say you need to go to the store I wasn't a while for some shit but. You're like Donnie Donnie where you been? Let's say you go to the store I wasn't a while for some shit, but first of all for the cave He had to go to the store for the cave kids Okay, can I just say well I actually fucking went to go live in a fucking cave Mother you think anybody?

Casey Anthony me mom this guy just leaves his fucking family You know happy he would be if you went live in a cave. He'd probably be delighted But but Frankie would not be able to get dressed. He would dress her like Steve Jobs, which he always does Try to make conditioner out of fucking beaver juice Like he's a father for Foxy. Imagine if any woman did this, just left her family and went to just go hang her kid. No, you're just making that up.

He didn't leave his family. He came back from? Before he had a family, he did that. And now that he has a family, he actually lives in a house and with his wife and kids, he's a great dad. Where's the proof? Is this what he says before he comes? Yeah, I was gonna ask, what's the proof?

I'm reading his book right now. His book is great. Well, a book means nothing. What's the thing that he's lived in a cave for eight years, is he just, like we can all just say that. Like you didn't know me. I talked to him. I go, Bobby, from eight to 15,

I actually lived underground. And you don't have any options other, cause you've never seen me between eight and 15, except now you've seen me at 15 with my first Prince look. No, I read his book, he's got two books out right now, and I've talked to him about it. He's actually gonna, I'm gonna try to get him to be one of the guides on Comedy Camp

when we film in September. So we do, what does he say? He's gonna kill all of you in your sleep. Like in his book, does he talk about like the mental thing of going through all that, of going to live in a cave? Like what does he say about it? It's, yeah, but it's like, like we can't do it because we're so fucking addicted to our shit.

When does, you know, he's. He's gonna kill you and your whole camp and your sleep. I mean there's a difference by having a phone free afternoon living in caves. Bobby, you guys are all dead and Donnie Dust is gonna be the person who does it. And then I had to spend the rest of my life avenging your death, looking for Donnie Dust in the woods,

eating worms and making fucking rock knives. Oh, it was because he had a heart attack, so that's why he went to live in a cave? This is, so explain it. He he had a heart attack, so that's why he went to live in a cave? This is, so explain it. He actually had a heart attack after that. He recently had a heart attack. It says he started living in the wilderness when he was- No, he said he went to a cave

because he had a heart attack. Oh, is that, oh. That's what the headline says. What does it say? I had a heart attack at 37, so I went to live in a cave. Yeah, he's a survivalist, he was in the military, and one day he He felt he actually in the middle of the night. He he

had some pain in his chest and He just toughed it out and He wound up his he wound up saying fucking he went to the hospital and he was having a heart attack I mean he didn't make it he would have been dead. I'll get my own pacemaker out of this rock. How does a cave help your heart? No it doesn't he just went to go grab life by the balls I guess. Some people would have been like I'm gonna start fucking hookers and trying to meet people more he goes I'm gonna go live in a cave to reaffirm life. I assume right that was a big thing he's like I'm gonna go get one with nature and be a

weirdo. This guy's unstable and he's gonna murder you and all your friends in your sleep. That'll be a great fucking episode He's gonna talk to you. He's gonna make a necklace of your ears Bobby. Yes. What's a pacemaker? Explain it to the young lady She's not gonna understand a J even if I do it Draw it for her also now one of them pieces of equipment that you're gonna put on my brain, or to help your heart,

that's all a big scam to get me back to that lobotomy place. Bobby, can you take a picture of me with your quiver? I want a picture of you retrieving an arrow from your quiver. I'll take a picture of, he sent me a beaver pelt. He sent me a... Oh, good, Jacob can fuck Christine on in a cave. I'll take a picture of he sent me a beaver pelt He sent me oh good

Jacob can fuck Christine on in a cave. Oh, he wants to fuck him. Oh He sent me a obsidian knife. He sent me he carved in the side too. I want to clear off with you He might as well if a man starts sending you those kind of gifts that sounds like he's courting you Bobby I'm telling this guy is courting you. He's like, read my book, babe. Ain't no big deal. I wrote a book. I don't care. A couple of arrowheads.

Yeah, he's kind of weird and awkward. And he goes, here, I made you this. I don't know. If you like it, if you want it, you can have it. I don't care. He sent me a deer tendon. What? A deer tendon.

Why? Well, when you kill a deer, if you take its tendon out you let it dry and then When you need cordage for like to for a bow and arrow or to wrap our head onto something you use The deer tendon you wet it you chew on it wet it and then you can peel Bobby you can't you're not doing these things. I might. Oh, so Max is going to go, my bone arrow string broke. You go, that's all right, let me bite this deer tendon.

How is he sending this stuff? Is it like Amazon Prime? He actually did send it through FedEx. FedEx, dude, that's amazing. Hang on. I have to hike 60 miles to a FedEx This sounds a lot like a guy trying to get his dick wet Sir is the pony express around here. I

Can't seem to find the trail Bobby how many gifts has he given you just one? Okay, you said five things No, I give you one box of stuff box of stuff Two of his books which are great and then he gave me a pelt. He gave me a box of stuff. He was one cure-pranked. Two of his books, which are great. And then he gave me a pelt. He gave me some... Tommy Johns. Tommy Johns.

Hey, if you try on the outfit I sent, you take a picture and send it to me, kid, huh? He sent me a... Whenever I get in your Wi-Fi again, I'll get it. That'll be nice. He sent me an obsidian knife and he sent me a sheath that he made with for the knife Goes around your neck and a couple arrowheads and he said any card How dare you check your watch with Bobby was in the middle of his obsidian list

Was there a card dear Bobby, I hope this finds you well, it's me from the woods He did sign the book though. Yeah. Yeah, I sent the book. Did it with a pen he made the carved graphite Right, dear bad boy, Bob Dear little stinker, sorry missed you I missed you. I love bad boy Bobby. I love him. Little sticker Bobby. There's a motivator, a guy that Lewis is infatuated with.

He goes, he watches the seminars. Guy's paid to go to a seminar and get yelled at by this guy. What's his name? Lewis has transformed his life because of him. What is it, what's his name? Andy Elliott. The old guy? Andy Elliott.

With the suspenders. Used to be a car salesman. The suspenders, right? Old guy? No. White guy. Jacked. Really? He turned his whole car salesman thing into multi-million dollar company business, social media. I sent some videos to Christine. Yeah, this guy gets me fucking pumped up, man. Oh, let's listen to a couple. And you like motivational stuff, right? I'm a big fan of motivational stuff. I'll back you up on this, Lou. I mean, even though you're trashing my Donnie Dusk guy. I can't.

Is this him? This is him. Andy Elliott. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. He's official Andy Elliott. Jay, open your brain and just see if something sticks. These are always... All of these things are like Ponzi's. They're all, everyone, they're saying

that cults get started by the same, they just go, you wanna be, you wanna live life like this? You wanna do this? Tell other people how to live life like this. It's just, everything's just like, like how do I do, how do I get where you're at? It goes, tell other people, you'll tell them how to get where you're at,

which is where I'm at. Just like, it's a bullshit. Is that. That bullshit. He doesn't do that. He teaches you ways. He wouldn't do that to me What are you selling? What are you selling? Well, you know a salesman kind of personality can really help you in life in general as far as talking to people in public I think it's working because I'm listening. I'm listening. Uh-huh. I think it seems disingenuous Law-time people that are sales. I'm listening. Uh-huh. I think it seems disingenuous law time people that are sales I want to hear some of this guy. I don't know where he's in the seminar the ball one I will say this I'm about right there play that let's let's listen. Oh this guy's

Furious he just does a lot of close-face screaming this guy is and yes, let's watch. Let's hear it Let's hear this kid when you fix the personal life the business goes BAM you get to keep the money you make, you even make more, because when you go to work you're a happy son of a bitch and you're proud of your life. But I went home, because I was always freaking working. I looked in the mirror, I was disgusted, but oh, everybody said I was doing great.

If you have the courage to change, you literally just change your entire bloodline. When you fix- But are you saying you're gonna quit? Fuck no, that was from my job before this. to change you literally just change your entire bloodline when you fit but were you thinking you're gonna quit that was for my job before this tells you guys off in the mirror fuck you I need to enjoy my life I love the black blue listen this guy and then the face downstairs just smoking pot with you if give up give me out my own my haters speech this one.

This will be my favorite. A lot. You know how many people's lives have changed? Way more. They say some stupid shit. Hey, fuck you. I own you. I just stopped you.

I just stopped you in your tracks, bro. First of all, the right. The writing on that shirt, by the way, is too hip hoppy to be in a tucked in shirt. He does seem really happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy does seem pretty stoked on life. He's obviously found a piece we can all learn something from. I found a fucking beautiful woman and kids

who fill me up with joy. And you could have that too, you piece of shit. His second comment just says cocaine. Oh shit. I saw one guy ask a question at one of his seminars. He's like, I'm at the place where sometimes I don't feel like I have the confidence with women. You listen to me, you fucking posh, alright, it's just a lie. Don't let no bitch say you ain't fucking.

Who's the last? I don't believe you actually have haters says is that a guy or a girl? What a dildo? No Marco Marco right there, and you gotta be a dildo to quote that he goes to see you Someone actually hates what you do someone not seeing the possibility is someone hates this like who hates you a Screaming shaved head guy with big muscles and a tucked-in shirt who name a person A wallet chain not to a wallet with a scarf hanging out of his back shorts. That's who paid you Rachel Feinstein she has a new special called Big Guy. It's streaming right now on Netflix.

And Rachel is on tour with dates coming up in Jersey City, Aptos, California, Toronto, Kansas City, and Panama Beach. For tickets and all tour dates, go to rachel-feinstein.com. F-E-I-N-S-T-E-I-N. You go to my page on punch up live oh yeah punch up live it's called big guy it's on netflix it's my first hour special please watch it please baby please

punch up dot live slash rachel feinstein everybody who watches it yes gets um uh obsidian knife nice that's a lot that's a lot of obsidian she's working on the nails we speak everyone she's making obsidian knives That's gonna take a while. That's how easy it is Every person downloads my not only special Bobby's gonna skin a raccoon for you Bobby Kelly's gonna be in Port Charlotte, Florida this weekend Friday and Saturday, I'm gonna be at the Irvine improv this weekend Friday and Saturday come check it out. We'll catch you guys

I think we can come back for a second and say goodbye. But thank you so much Rachel for joining us. Rachel, love you.