The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Before Toothpaste

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

Jay and Dan get a lesson from a comedy coach.  The guys get an accidental lesson about toothpaste and who Don Swayze is!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle 

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. First, we're all, we are on the Closet Cliff Hanger, comedy coach Steve Dutnorth. We also have to let other people know through bonfire context what we're speaking about. And that's of course comedy coach Steve North, with him and his wife Barbara, Barb for short, have barbed north, coached stars from open micers to arena touring comedians.

To movie stars they have not named one person and not one of those people are willing to give them an endorsement however Just trust they have Also you'll learn such famous comedy techniques as the switchback Now the switch the switch. It's the exaggeration exaggeration. What was the other the blind spot blind spots huge We're catching you guys up real quick. It's a crash course in comedy. Understand that the two of us together with around 40 years experience of comedy still have a lot to learn.

So much to learn. So much to learn. I did not know about the blind spot. Well, now you did. That joke, I want to hear it again. Yeah, bring it back up. Let's bring up. You bring up the two jokes again.

I want to do the, my friends say I procrastinate too much. I say no way. I'm going to, I'm going to organize the I prefer my friends to have procrastinate too much I say no way I want to I'm gonna I'm gonna organize this I'm gonna clean the shed this is that I'm gonna do my back taxes and then I'm gonna get on this potty train thing oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Bro, that was the part and also we should explain to those of you that didn't listen to the show yesterday It's Steve North doesn't care. He doesn't really care. This is his video and he's showing very little interest to him He could have had as many takes as he needed to get this right He also could have brought a lot more energy to his own video. Yeah his face. He looks like a good guy's asking questions

He goes so stand up comedy. That's like an individual art, right? He has to go, everything's like, yeah, it's like, yes. He is answering questions, like he has been confronted coming out of somewhere. Yeah. Hi, I'm trying to go to a car, Gabriel Jr. I'm with cheaters. I'm trying to get in my car. What? No, it's a switch. And leave me me. We'll talk about this at home. Leave me alone. Play it please. You can be the character. You take truths about yourself, maybe flaws, and exaggerate it.

Okay, my friends say I procrastinate. How do I use that? Do it. It's easy. You would take it. You would exaggerate it big. At a blind spot. Get ready.

You would get something funny. For those of you who haven't listened to it, I procrastinate. But next week, I'm going to do my back taxes. I'm going to clean the art and the week after that I'm going to get right out of that potty training thing. Oh I get it potty training that's the big surprise. Right. You not acknowledging that there's anything strange about you're not being potty trained. Whatever I shit myself so what but I got a new yard work. I'm in concert and you fuck fuck yeah I leak shit down my back every day but I do my back taxes

and I clean my yard so suck my nuts. Dude I can't wait and he goes now there's he's also leaving but he really is leaving out the dirty comedy school fuck I would be fine with this energy to hear him do it he goes. He's saying something like the only thing that smells worse than a tuna is my wife's garbage has pussy And then and then if now and then I go And then I go she says me eat her pussy and I says now all hell no. I'm a grown-ass man. Yeah He goes exactly that's it. You know you want to be dirty

Yeah, you want to be too dirty you know you want to be dirty, but you want to be too dirty. You know you like Hey, if I wanted to fuck you in the ass you fuck me in my ass and suck your dick I wouldn't want it out here dinner tastes. It's just too much stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna come in your mom's throat So she shits out a rope of my gits. One of those Cits are a come-ass tray. All right, you guys see where we're going That's the blind spot Sir, a commas tray. All right, you guys see where we're going. That's the blind spot.

Here's the next major formula. I call it just exaggeration. Exaggerate anything. The nuclear. Posit, the new cologne from Steve North. Exaggerate, raise. We should make a cologne commercial for where it's like, I call this one exaggeration.

Funny. Exaggerated, real big. commercial forwards like I call this one exaggeration funny exaggerate it real big oh this is a great Google Earth you can exaggerate anything the trick is you have to exaggerate large enough to surprise people because people don't laugh unless they're surprised they smirk a lot of people stop stopping him big it man playthrough. I don't want to say my buddies put on a few pounds, but last night he couldn't fit through the front door. See, that's not a big enough exaggeration.

I didn't get you as well. I don't want this the sound of 100 people smiling in a nightclub, because that's the same as the sound of 100 people at a funeral. How is this one? Is this big enough? Okay. I don't want to say my buddy put on a few pounds, but last night he showed up on Google Earth.

Body shaming. Body shaming. Boo, cancel. Body shaming. Can't solve. This from 2015. Body shaming. Body shaming.

You should know that larger people have problems like heart disease. You can see me on Google Earth. This is cruel. That's cruel comedy. Steve can see me on Google Earth. Yeah, this is cruel. That's cruel comedy. Steve North. You are the captain of the ship of misery. He goes, now, something about like, you know, everything's so casual.

He goes, so they've been not wanting like, you know, hispanics are blacks in your neighborhood for instance. He goes, now this one is a real fun one. Do you have a town near you that most of the people in the room know is the dumb town? Great. You say this guy talks so slow. He's the smartest person in that town. Asian hates real big right now.

So you might want to lay low on that for the time being, but their time will come again. Don't you worry. You know you can bang on any of the islanders. The islanders you can bang on for sure. Middle East still fair game game the best of my knowledge Go keep playing having an airport drink with Steve North would be fun Just picking his brain for comedy as he's just getting hammered I in a million years I would never tell him that I was a comic. I would simply tell him that if I was I think about trying comedy

Can I tell you? I Had Judy to do to end the back of the tonight's show. Shut up. Here I'm, hand the Christ. Hand the curtain till Bob. Rip my dick off like a chimp. Reader Rudner. Reat this puttner. I went through all of them all. Because I told her to call herself slapy puttner. She didn't like my advice. I was in a coach yet. I was still a player I jerked off in front of Paula Poundstone. I knew she hated it. I knew it by the way That's what made me finish. I tell you it's between us. She's all pads

Those shoulders slope something weird. I didn't want to tell you that I don't want to pull the curtain on her Martin shortened me at gay sex once. I had a slow kiss with Julia Louie drivers when she was on SNL. She was a young, just a young comic, a young little sweet thing. I was trying to think of Fred Rocket who was going to kill himself. This one is called Switch and it's major. Oh, the Switch. This is my favorite one. It's a major. I forget it.

You almost can't see a minute of comedy without seeing a Switch. It's just another way of creating surprise. So, you misdirected and then you switch. So, for example, I was in this tough biker bar. And you should have seen these people, why we beards and scars and beefy, hairy forearms, and you should have seen the guys. So you switched to who there?

Oh, I'm talking about beards, and I thought you were talking about men. He's just standing there, he's just standing there not looking at him, for the people that get to the video. The captain is just staring ahead, Steve North is just staring ahead nodding like yeah catch up buddy I just really fucking told me these guys weren't in the same room I'd believe you yeah

But they're on camera together with a green screen behind him of him to shaking his head of a trippy Salvador dolly clock Well, it's comedy time dude. It's aini. It is aini. Yeah, he looks like he was stopped on the street and Regret's agreeing to do a two minute interview, but it's the promotional thing for his comedy school. Yeah, he put up the video. I don't understand the lack of intrigue. Yeah, it looks like he's been bothered by this today. For the audience That's what killed that is dice career. They want to like you They want to like what's with the lifestyle they want to like you all right back to Steve North And that's the trick with the switch you have to misdirect in the setup so right we can actually switch like I've been barbed this entire time Oh my god Steve is oh oh

My god your schizophrenia Oh my god, Steve is oh, oh my god, you're schizophrenic Never mind. Yeah, he's split you this is the word Now I'm telling Son of a bitch he went crazy with sideways guys. He went sideways. Ah shit. North is it's all came together I'm barbs there barbs like I got him You're a therapist. Yeah I'm court. She's court ordered Barb North unrelated

Switch the where All right, here's the thing my wife really annoys me because during the football games she is always vacuuming. Drives me crazy. And she's like, I don't see why your bother. There doesn't bother anyone else in the stadium. It's great dude. His dip off of you. You got you are fast. Oh my god. I said hey everyone else in the stadium No, I kind of want to know whose security is so laks you can get a vacuum into a fucking stadium and find an outlet for it He's just doing all that where you from right here. Huh? You live in the comedy club. Oh Rent must be cheap

Oh, oh rent must be cheap Cruise ship comedy he's a cruise ship we're all in your house right now I'll tell you what starting here that cruise ship shows you got to do one 30 minute clean one 30 and you get to do two as well. It's one clean in the afternoon for 30 two dirties at night I'd say this I would do it fucking Dirties at night. I'd say this, I would do it fucking by monthly with Christine if we were a let, but we're not allowed to fuck the guests on a cruise ship if you work for a cruise ship.

So that doesn't become fucking worth it to go out there. Wait, so you can't hook up with anybody when you're on the boats if you're a comic out there? No. No. All right, no, you're not allowed to. That's why I'm saying cruise ship comedy, the real punishment is that

Man and they're all by the way they'll fucking send you away There's there are several people possibly dead That are the reason that's a rule There's so many groups of women I'd have to assume like middle-aged women who are looking at the fucking have one go round Yeah, just a bunch of fat Wisconsin ladies or something Just feed them Feed them to talent. They're just looking for it. Yeah, for sure. So I I recommend you're going on a cruise

Even if you don't give a shit about the charter thing of it Like go. Oh, no, if you go on a crew. Yeah, cruise is now if you're gonna perform dude. It's gotta be charter cruise our cruises back You know we did the Joker's crew. I got one and 2022 member. Yeah, but I'm saying like are they like Going now normal now. Yeah. Oh, I would bet they're not happening right now You what do you mean you are happy i think i remember because it's a big deal in florida think they open them up well think but

you have to look at but yeah i think they actually the crew bruise lines once and jake there's not a million years chance you would ever get on a cruise ship again now right i wouldn't have gone on one before that. Ever. I think that's fucking garbage.

You can pay me to go on a cruise ship. Okay. Well, you know, being then if you paid to be on cruise ship, say you go to your reasons, uh, say a broader dude. Oh, so I bring it. Um, go back to Steve. I don't want to lose that I don't lose a rat Yeah, dude sure hope the plumbing doesn't break job Jay when you're on the cruise ship next to why you

You should even me about it. I'm sorry. I didn't say anything. I didn't call you jerk off I don't like cruise ship Jacob did something happen. You want a cruise ship business? I get it. I'm telling, I swear to you on my life. Maybe I could have been talked into a cruise ship and thought it was going to be awesome when I was younger and went, but I didn't. When I started going on cruise ships, after the very first one, I knew for sure I don't like cruises, but there's elements of it I do like. They said the money ended up being good for them At the end of the day and then

You bring buddies. There was music on them that I liked sometimes you know, I mean like there was the experience in the impractical jokers It was phrased like a lot of friends on it which made it very very fun But I mean like if it was like me and Christine to have a romantic getaway to go on a cruise like there's more of a chance One of us goes over the side. I'm telling you. What day? Four day four. You guys called it the murder day?

That's the day we started having like, by the end of it, we had good all through it by our third cruise because we figured out what the thing was. So what we do on the fourth day now is we really focus on getting along. Like, don't we make an actual effort when we see our exos getting frustrated? It's just like, oh, let's just like, it's fourth day, we know. Let's just, sure, let's make it compromise and do this.

It's just fourth day shit. That's what festivals happening. Huh? And that's what festivals happening happening which is awesome we've never gone on a cruise ship that wasn't also like a crazy festival on board right here you're going just to get a romantic getaway i would kill somebody

i said crucia makes sense for me swingers a swingers cruise ship would make sense to Oh man that part that boat's got to be rocking But I just understand doing that like setting sail on everyone's like I'm sure something Like close off probably But I'm just saying that makes sense to me the rock ones makes it we know music ones Yeah, the charted one just a fucking cruise ship where you can it's just like it's very antiquated it's like they don't have like

the member of the place that dirty dancing was those things don't really exist anymore yeah do they are they still around huh actually that's the majority, can't wait to go just on a cruise. That's like no, no, I'm not talking about Do anything for a vacation. No, a cruise somehow still test time But isn't it the same thing a cruise is like vacation is like the same thing is like Excuse me dirty dancing vacation like they go to this cabins where they're an end of season dance and Everyone takes Which pox trot lessons and there's ceramics in the afternoon and like you know I'm saying like all I kind of goofy shit, but everyone stays there for like the song. It's just

That's very family That that's telling you I don't think it exists like that anymore. Was that a thousand thing though right families Who go live somewhere else for a summer? Yeah, you go to the summer, we go up to the lake. They call it going up to the lake for the summer, but it's like it's a resort. And you stay at the resort for a whole. You have a cabin for August. And they have like different families have different times

booked at these resorts. And it's like that's when they go. And it's their, damn, that would've been so fun. Remember they go there and it was like, they knew the staff there and stuff because they go every year, that's their summer holiday. Oh, yeah, you're like hey look. It's the Watson's oh Looks like they got a bigger car this this past year. How fun is that and then by the way They're you dancing such a bad we always overlook that you that guy would have owned

Babies father would have owned that fucking resort. Yeah, because his daughter was getting fucked by a 30 year old dance teacher An employee that you brought into the fucking to the area fuck my daughter an employee He's a daughter fucked my 15 look at me Jesus 15 year old daughter Do you understand I will crumble this fucking place? Do you understand they're gonna name that lake after me? Oh, he prayed on her too. Oh man. Was he praying on it? Is that the age difference? I don't know what he is but he's not 15. No. Is your character was 15? If you go back and closely watch they say that he's 16. What? That'd be great. Yeah, I know I know the cup the I bet it's listed the age difference in the characters somewhere work work and by way

I don't think I'm looking I'm not gonna get back to Steve Norris combination plate. Yeah, dude the combos sitting right in the combo Please wait. It's under the heat lamp on the line. We're pulling it out soon. Gumpo plates always sitting there waiting. We got to play it. Oh, excuse me. Yeah, I don't know if this is right. Right into the thing. I feel like she says the summer I turned 16 in the movie, but this is saying 18. Baby is 18 while John is 24. Nope.

It's false. 15 years old. Well, where do you get 15? Probably the similar way that we found this answer. I don't know if one's more reliable than the other, but come on. Come on. He was 34 in the movie, but they're saying he was 24 and how old are baby and Johnny? The movie set in 1963. Baby is 18 while Johnny is 24 Spool shit I mean if you don't think the studio made sure that the internet said that do you remember how you watch that documentary?

How much? He hated her really? Yeah, why he just hated Jennifer Gray? I don't know. He hated he was wrong word. He was just non-stop mean to her. Cause he was like a very rigid like dancer guy. It was his acting that, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. He was using this dancing study. He just frustrated with her and he would be really mean. Do you have, even a fine audio or a YouTube

of Patrick's ways he being mean to Jennifer Gray? It's great. He really talks to her like shit For fucking up dance moves and then they have to say action and she has to fawn over him. Lee How could he not have been a cock sucker Patrick's Waysy? That body, that body, that body, that body, that body There's no way Patrick's Waysy wasn't a fuck There's no way rest and pee. I don't speak ill of the dead, but I bet he was a cock sucker to hang with Or the coolest if you're on the right side of it

now the other guy the other swaysy is still around but that guys a party hangout my god that guy has got that guy has an undiagnosed never-ending drinking problem i bet who's who's the other swaysy don't swaysy you've seen don't swaysy four thousand things every time you've seen something that goes that's a Patrick's wavy it's don't

suesie hold up bring up don't say no don't suesie existed i maybe my come on maybe that part of my brain from weed but i don't remember a don't say what you're suesie lobe i did my suesie lobe got burnt out. Okay. No clue who this guy is. Zero, I've never seen Don Swazie. That's cool.

He's looking top. Oh my god, dude. If I were you right now, I would think that the K-Mart playing a joke on you and like you've never heard the joke of Don Swazie which is like a picture of Patrick Swazie. I didn't know there was a K-Mart Patrick Swazie. There's an actual... I didn't know. I a came art Patrick Swaysie. There's an actual

You can get this way. He marshals. Yeah, I didn't know that There's Ross rack Swaysie. Yeah Yeah, Don Swaysie is his brother. They look very similar, but Patrick Swaysie. I don't know must I have the bigger swinging dick? That's so funny. He looked a little softer. I patrick yeah his his uh... dawn's very short face yet the blue eyes to the dawn's ways he came in a little to little to brunette and uh... you have a christine of him being mean to her

now not finding it i know it's the dark yeah work for the patch lazy dot now that the dancing documentary bottom and he's just mean to her like in these dance videos he's just super mean to her and think she sucks uh now there's gonna be so many more recordings of that if it happens then then you'd like put a tape recorder down and hope you got it tape what oh there's probably rolling sound how the hell

what that said how the hell does Mel Gibson slides you the cracks Jesus that guy's got in a way with some real harsh Shit, you know, he told us up to the Oscar. He called a cop sugar tits and that he Doesn't he got pulled over and then dude the blow me before the jacuzzi might be one of the funniest meltdown lines I've ever him Jonas chick. Yeah, I don't get mad at him for that. I don't judge that at all. I think it's hilarious. You don't blow me. You blow me.

I'll tell you what. The problem is he's the sum of his parts. I don't even have a problem in his yelling at her and screaming. The way he used the N word. He was trying to send a very angry message. And he was dumb to say it because she's clearly a lunatic also that'll just film all of this and play. That didn't bother me in and of itself, but and then he had like the fucking Jew right and it's like, oh this guy's just a fucking dark

fucking dude man. He's got some odd thoughts. He's been famous since he was young but he's also fucking nuts. There's a part of him that's nuts. Yeah, he just loses it and says some wild shit. I mean, do you? I remember when those came out, it was like once a week you thought one the first one was epic and then, it felt like three or four weeks in a row. Yeah, they were just great at tapes. It wasn't even dropping the end bomb so hard as they I said, I hope you get raped by a pack of them, which was like, it's so,

it's even so off-shoot of insulting her of also inside the black guys by calling them a pack of you saying the meanest like he just used every word that file shit. That thing's the bells. And I mean, a few years after that, shit that things the bells and I mean a Few years after that he was at the Oscars. Yeah, then he's playing a groundhog in a movie He's like, no, see I'm okay. Well, I'm Santa now. I'm Santa, but I'm evil now I won't say it didn't affect this career at all. It may have affected it greatly He was the biggest but not good movie star in the world, but there's the any movie project he gets involved in still he's making over ten million dollars to do whatever That's how big he was. I mean after Braveheart. He was so fucking big

He just did Braveheart for America. Did that movie patriot? I can watch that again. See how it takes me goes freedom But not for the Jews and the blacks, but just freedom He goes freedom, but not for the Jews and the blacks, but just freedom. Yeah, he was so fucking big. And then that rant came out and he was like, yeah, it's a, well, he did passion of the Christ. And then great film. And then the, I like passion of the Christ.

I only saw it once and we'll just remember in the theaters, it was fucked up. Being like fuck fuck fuck. We just stylized very well. I mean, I knew, you know, whatever. It's torture porn for sure. Yeah. But I mean, he, you know, I just fall for all the fucking, like, anything where it's like they're down and you're like,

someone's going to stay there. There's so many rocky moments. Oh, I'm like, right. Where they're like, just stay there. Oh, my gosh, where they're like just stayed out Jesus Forgive them father, but they know that what they do Last time I checked my ring was in heaven If you know that yeah, I was a Jesus, Jewish, so I bet we dropped that cross. He was like, what a slap. I am shfitsin' over here. What a slap. Also, I bet more of us carried up the

Acrousify me quicker. Hey, thank you for whoever designed this throne of these, what is this? Any reason to make me work for my own motor? I mean, on How about I just go dead weight on you? You get me up to the two or just kids. Oh, Jesus is going dead Way you guys get me there. I'm not fucking walking across. Well, you want me to stand up for you They got we'll beat you with this cat and I go kill me here motherfucker. I'm not carrying that dad that movie is It's seeing it in theaters and like seeing people that were the different reactions to it. I remember Like some some people are like, oh my god, and then some people like yeah, yes That was Jesus. I wore a shirt that said Roman one Christiana Ah

I wore I wore all my fucking Ozzy Osborne stuff And then a cheered when he dies a pannis pilot rules Just I want my Judas Priest screaming for vengeance D shirt Pulled up fucking Blair and Judas Priest Hey, did not do the halfway I'm not carrying that for sure. I'll do the walk But I need an umbrella for the Sun

A crown of thorns. What are you crazy? She's so hard Hey, who's the company thief two thieves. Oh boy. What did you do? Infall why are you up there? Oh? And you I don't like you I don't like you one bit You can I get another sell me you guy to the left. I'm gonna tell my dad you're all right guy to the right Yeah, such a giant male Gibson fan and man brave heart came out

This is when I guess I still gave a shit about awards Oh, yeah, that's right. It won. It's the best picture I was so into that movie And then those tapes came out Which one were you going to brave heart brave heart? Yeah, brave heart was everywhere I remember watching the we got a free weekend of HBO They got to watch the HBO first look at Braveheart and I was like, oh my god Making a boy in my barber. Remember the guy I told you about that gave me the feathered hair. Yes, Michael

He's from Scotland and he's my barber, but he's really a stylist and a he's a great guy But I was getting my haircut and I was like, hey, it's William Wallsbyg, he's like, hey He's a great guy, but I was getting my haircut and I was like, hey, it's William Wallsby He's like, hey, a real big historical figure. I can't remember him telling me about it He's like the movie is probably not gonna say what happened to him and he told me about how he got his head cut off And they put all the pieces of him around him. I was like, yeah And he he hyped me for that movie in a way. I've never been hyped during a haircut He's like they cold off his head put on a steak. I steak like oh shit. I got a fucking see this thing. I Never seen brave heart all the way through what go into it. I've never seen brave heart all the way

Through hey, we'll get there together now. We won't I mean happen now. Why? Accents, dude. Why? Can't listen to that nonsense and swords and shit. Come on, dude. Ah, fuck it. Don't you want to see? What about Robert DeBruce?

Leather skirts and other bull shit. Dude, great. Great. And the way they talk, we can just say, because, you know, I won't understand. They'll be a scene in like a fiery kind of room. go, no, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, know, you know, know, you know, you know, where the good guy is. They're talking about freedom. Yeah, right. But like, I know that's gonna yell that. So I saw that when they stretch him out.

I gotta tell you what, until the arms and legs rip off, I bet it feels kinda good. We're just like, oh, stretch. If you impress that, yeah, then you feel the first pop, where you're, okay.

The arm's gone, huh? Well, there it is. I'm gonna left her right. I honestly can't tell you What do you have the him being mean to Jennifer? Yeah, we were Jacob did you you were Legion skinks last night. That was funny Idea that turning into a werewolf. Oh, it's so painful. It's like the Dracula changeover is so simple. It's actually a bad thing to get cool eyes. Whoa, hey, how old are you? You're the werewolf.

You're entire body has to change your ribs. Your ribs take change shape. Oh yeah, go up. Play it. No volume. Let. No volume. Ah, no worries. Tease. Those little toe backs.

Those little stinky. We have to hear still hear the fucking combo plate of, oh, do we're going back? No, it's not giving me. It's not allowing me to play the volume. I might have mentioned this while it's working, working this out. About Braveheart. I remember how historically I always read the, I always like to read how historically inaccurate biopix are.

Sure. First of all, I think Robert the Bruce was like one year old. During this time in real life. No, he was like six. Yeah. The guy that he gives over, that he helps become King of Scotland. Why?

Also the stuff they whitewash, like they don't want to, you don't want to have to think about that. Like Mrs. William Wallace had the prettiest mile I've ever seen. Who? And it's like 1500, the year 1500. Why? Mel Gibson's wife in the movie.

As the all time greatest smile. I mean, they didn't have teeth back then. So what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. But you can't do that in the movies anymore. I can't say something. You can't eat jiggle. I hear this.

There's so much stuff. Now I've watched recently. Oh, back in the 90s and shit. Not even. No, even just current shows here. How much people fucking just kiss and make out deeply and passionately when they're in a world where it's like teeth brushing is would be a luxury every day. Yeah.

And just can't sick in the hell. Sex, he wouldn't be. Oh, yeah. who's this? This is wife that died. Yeah, yeah, what's your name Bruce? Swallows, got them a corn. But she plays her name's Bruce Wallace That's a character's name is Bruce Wallace that she wants freedom. Oh for everybody. How does she feel about freedom? She loves it. She makes her smile. Who's against the freedom the British? Okay, so English and

Scottish accents. Oh, yeah, I wish. Oh, I hate it so much. It's the islands, bud. Why'd islands? Yeah, white islands doesn't even make sense to me I just called it an island, there better be carnival, and there better be black women with yellow skirts that make them bounce up like that. But what about a hood covered fur coat, man? Over in a misty field, you know, you just longed to hunt me, island. I love to show you the

end. Maybe give you some hug. Yes. You're waiting for them. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. We're like to a place. Yeah, we're like a ball like a bar door opens and it's snowing outside. Jason. He got comes in wearing like an actual wolf's head. That's all I want to

go do. That's that's the only place I want to be. We have different dreams. Great. You don't want a large broad sword Oh my god now dude. I don't want to live in highlander times. I will pick that all the time they picked this ideal time I wish I could go back to this time before the bullshit of today never go back before toothpaste never today never go back before toothpaste. Never, ever before dentistry. You're, you're basing everything on movies. Yeah, the movie version of reality.

Yeah, everyone's teeth were snagged back then. Oh my God, just muck mouth. When did modern dentistry take place? Yeah, I don't know. What the modern dentistry is we know it, when did that become a thing? Oh my God. I think they discovered fluoride in a river and I want to say that early 1900s. Okay. Okay. Maybe our 20th century is early 20th century. Kids were like playing in a river and they realized

that they had no cavities. And then they, yeah, they did a a river and they realized that they had Perfectes no cavities And then they yeah, they did a water sample and then realize the Florida was keeping their teeth sparkly What some kids just had the sparkliest teeth they were just playing and there's Drinking river pissing in the river and drinking it. I'm trying to remember I was that kid. Jacob, you were that science issue. You just wanted to watch boys in a river. Sprinkle yourselves in water's boys. Yeah, that's funny. He goes, Hey, why are you staring at our sons in that river? I just am science man.

What science? I want to see their teeth are so shiny. You don't worry. I'm looking at their mouths. Why are you looking at their mouths? I'm just going to study your boys mouth. Just let me let me what that mouth do. What's it say Christine is too far away now? Oh 1981. It says Florida research had its beginnings in 1901. Damn Jacob not only are you are you right? You said the early 1900s it's the early 1900. Yeah. There it is. you know that's that makes me think that we should probably also we've discussed basketball but I think there's a couple different kind of contest we could do someone's get Jacob maybe in sort of some sort of

trivia thing now maybe like a quiz oh ball whoo against some other radio shows because Jacob that was bizarre information to be aware of 1901 that's very Yeah, it's Colorado Springs too Yeah, that's pretty good with Colorado Springs. Mm-hmm. That must explain your gorgeous ass teeth. Ting. Yeah, right. I got brown teeth and I got a gap Do we have reads of it? Yes, we always have read to us. They always send it right when the thing happens. What time is it?

540 dog. We're bad at radioing. We're really going to be fine. We are bad at doing the job well. Well, we have some fun. What's just you see? I was just going to wrap up my Mel Gibson's lock because I remember brought the right heart. Hey, what we're good to go.

The fall from Gracie had because men, I was like, this guy is like, the coolest movie star, what an elegant guy he is. And then those tapes came out. Holy shit. What a fall for me. It was a rough fall. Shit. What a fall, for me. It was a rough fall. you