The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Behind My Back

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

Although Jay and Christine are having their own weight loss issues, they still worry about Bobby.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. O'Coursen. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now The Bonfire with Big J. O'Coursen and Robert Kelly. Damn. That's a short song Oh shit that's it how long's that song though? That's only three minutes and 13 seconds

That was longer than I thought We really make a nice meal out of it when we start the show Hey Big Jim, hey Big Jim Shout out Jim Hey Big Jim, what so we played a whole song. It's short song. It's my big Jim before you come down to anybody. If we can get on here, lagging that finger and everyone's face. It's a whole song. It was a whole song. For context, I had to do a Skadoosie. Yeah. I had to drop a Skadoosie. I had to sneak by Jacob. Jacob was at the urinal and I didn't want him to see me.

I saw you out of the corner my eye, but I pretended that I didn't. I just walked. Jacob is the duty police. I mean, I really, I really just went by you. I tipped her by you. I thought I'd go by you. Jacob was at the urinal. He was at the urinal.

I can't believe you didn't. If I saw Jacob at a urinal and Jacob just be aware of this. If I see you ever in motion pissing at a urinal. He was at the urinal. I can't believe you didn't. If I saw Jacob at a urinal and Jacob, just be aware of this. If I see you ever in in motion pissing at a urinal, I'm gonna come up and do what I do, which I'm gonna rub your shoulders. I'm gonna hold your waist at one point. It's so funny to me. I used to do that to soda all the time. He does not like it at all. I wouldn't do that here because someone else did this here. I had successful show. And now they're on a beach. Did he touch somebody in a bathroom? No, no. Oh no, what was that?

The photo of something. Something, yeah. I was in the bathroom. None of the people here do, we can say all of it. I fuck them. Took a photo of someone taking a tankele. Yeah, something. Or a dump.

I don't know. I was, I, I went, I got in the stall and I started giggling because I made it past Jacob. No, I was so happy. You do Did you hear his first blast off? No, no, I left. I didn't want I wanted to give him his time Because I I didn't want to be uncomfortable anymore than you did so I pretended that I didn't see you I heard the I heard your stream. I know what you did. You know what I did. Yeah, I had to. I had no choice. I ate that assay bowl. Went right through me. It fired through it. It went through me. Bobby took his last bite. Put the lid on and said,

I have to skiddoze. I have to skiddoze. I was in there. Guess what was in there too. A hanger to chop it up. The hangers in here. No, it was a toilet paper rolls one on top of each other. The way it should be out of the loose. But loose. Good. One medium, one small outside of the container. The way it should be. No problem with that. I'll tell you what, I see the container where it like, it's that huge roll of toilet paper and that big fucking machine that's spool. Oh, I hate that. I'm like this is gonna take forever.

You have to slow, like, it's almost like that. Cause if it breaks off too high inside, you're now you're looking for the end and you're touching so much It's like room shit. It's like defusing a bomb when you have that big roll because you have to Slowly pull it out and because at any point if you break that too high you're fucked Because then you have to spin and then you'll spin and it will Somehow magically go back into its own self. And you pull fast, it's over.

You can't find the little seam, and then you have to go the other way, and then hopefully it will unwrap. Little bunch up a bit, and you can grab that. I hate it. It's always way low, also, by the way. Yeah, it's way low. And it's the worst quality toilet paper.

It's like the thinnest You're wiping your bum. There should be a legal Standard of toilet paper for I don't care about like napkins when you dry your hand When you're wiping your bum, I don't want my knuckle to maybe go through it Yeah, don't make me wipe my hands and ask for the paper bag. Oh make one of them good This is why they're both of you are wrong. OK. I understand about you want to do this whole loose roll at home fun.

But when you're taking a loose roll that's in a public stall, you're touching a roll that has multiple duty fingers all over. No, false. No. There's guys have been shitting and wiping all day. and now you're grabbing the same role and taking that paper. Take that. I finger blast the roller itself and use that as the roller. I'm not touching. You know, touch the toilet paper. You use your finger as the roller paper holder. Yeah. You stick your

fingers in the hole and wrap around your hand. Oh, nobody else thought of that. They're all doing the same thing. Good. None of us are touching our poop. Me, what? Well, Jacob, you got to consider the hand you're holding the toilet paper roll with isn't your shit wiping hand is going to be the other hand. I don't know, they're not European or something. What does it mean?

Maybe they do a different, the river's hand. I don't know, they're not European or something. What does it mean? Maybe they do a different, the rivers hand. I don't know what you mean. But either way, you're only one hand wiping your ass. But the other hand's not touching shit. So you'd rather the toilet paper be inside the container and you have to pull it from out, out of there. Yeah, they look on the spindle, yeah. How many slices of toilet paper do you pull off in a clip?

You, you, you're archaic. I've told you is I don't I don't you it's right you still think you're you're progressive and you're you're leading the way and and I'm telling you You don't there's no such thing as wiping anymore. What the fuck man? He just say he really gives me a he gives me a talking tool about this you don't wipe I'm at home. I have the bidet the bidetet does the work, you're just drying. All right, listen buddy. Dry, I dry, Bobby. Bobby, but don't talk to me like I'm, I, I had a bidet when it was gay. Yeah. I had a bidet.

And never was. When my friends who come over to do it, you have sex with men. Why? Because you shoot water in your asshole, that's why. To make sure there's no poop in there for dicks to go Yeah, I had a fight for Badei freedom. I did a gay pride Badei day Yeah, Bobby led the job Bobby was the first brave customer

Yes, your co-host will give us speech about how awesome he is because he uses seven wipes Seven or whatever he uses seven. Yeah, he's got a he's tell you brags about sticking a finger up up is asked to get everything like that's necessary in the shower. It's going to make me dump hearing. Yeah, I mean, I thought you white before you use the bidet. But that was like a finisher. You don't wipe at all. Get a load of her. I she's crazy. All right, yes. I'll tell you what guys, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed on her behalf that but I live in a house with that, with that kind of thinking.

Why would you waste your time wiping first? What's the point? Christine said again. I said again. Too late to get Christine for the people listening. Go ahead, Christine. You, they heard me. No, do one more time.

Come on. You know, I really did. I thought I didn't know. Christine, you played one with the show. I didn't know that it completely replaced it. Yeah. Yeah, you mean cleaning your asshole with a stream of water Yeah, it does not completely replace it. What do you mean it 100% replaces it? Yeah, you don't need to do anything else. We'll be sparkling clean not for this guy

Yes for this guy dude. I've learned to open my asshole like a dolphin You swallowed him and the water goes in and cleans everything. Off of everything. You should literally give a child cough syrup out of my asshole. I'll listen, I'm with you. That sounds weird. I would say, no. Maybe I want to change that out.

We've it like that. No, what? I would feel comfortable. Sorry. It's made that from the replay. Okay, I don't be play a game. Yes. We get some kind of like a homeless person here, and we give each other we each take an anima, and then we shit it back out into this person's mouth, and they let us know who's got cleaner water coming out of the rest.

I mean, why don't we do this? Why don't we do that? That was because yours. I was because of yours. You know, I'm a throw up dude, please you can I'm an involvement too Don't play that. I'm a throw up. I just ate a whole ass able and I'm on the verge of dumping Not that one I can take that one. It's the other one I'm so glad we're not taking those epic tonight. What I'm so glad we're not taking those epic tonight She's bringing it up again, dude. She keeps bringing it up hoping that I'm, she's making, I'm gonna turn around and convince her

because she already wants to do it again. That's not true. Yeah, you do. No. I feel you do. You know what, I got her last night too. Christine was naked lying across the bed. And I went, you're looking good.

And I didn't know how she's like, it's only because of ozampic and we're going to get off of it. Damn. I hope when you get off of it, you guys balloon up. I hope you become 70% fatter than you guys ever were. I'll go right back on it. I hope, I'll just throw up every day forever. I hope, I hope, I hope it happens in like three days, like something. There's an outside shot that tonight at like one in the morning,

me and Christina are like teary eyed and like stabbing each other in the stomach with needles. Ha! I mean, we didn't throw it out. But Christine's throwing it out. Christine could have just thrown it out, but she hasn't thrown it out So you're you you're not gonna throw it. You're gonna keep it just in case I'll tell you what I would be funny if she's tricking you into being fat again, and she's just gonna shred

She's gonna stay on Christine doesn't want me hot. She's gonna want to move into a Justin Christine is mommy hockey. She could she's fine with me like this, but she has another people to get a slice of the pie. I don't know though, maybe. I'm glad you're getting off. I don't think we're taking it. There's too much, there's too much here coming out about this drug.

That it scares the hell out of you. This one particular juice. It's, you guys get it off because they, this, There's too much shit coming out about this drug. That it scares the hell out of you. This one's a dickier juice. It's you guys getting it off because they, this, it's medication for diabetics. All right. Tick. Just to say it like diabetics are fucking shitty people.

No, they're all every one of them are pieces of shit. It's medication for the fat people. If you have type two diabetes, you're a piece of shit. And if I get it, I'm a piece of shit. Are you pre-diabetic? No. No, nothing. I said that wrong.

No, no, no. I said that as a me. But every time I've gone to get blood work done, I'm like, that's what they're going to come back and say, like, because I know type two diabetes is the fat kind. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get that. So you can just by the way, because not also because I never even thought I was like so gigantic for sure, or least, especially in the last 10 years or so. Because I was bigger before that.

But when I've gone for blood work, I'm like, I'm still big. You know what I mean? I'm always like, you know, in the high 200s. So it's like, let me go kind of prepared that maybe I'm gonna be pre-debted and they get to me, I gotta change things. Because like, it wasn't that, it wasn't eating like healthy. It was just more, I thought I'd be pre-dubbing

because I'm like, I'll eat cookies and I'll have cake, you know, like, and being a fat guy, you're like, let's get, I've never, that. I've, how old are you? I've wanted to be found pre-dubbing at times where they would give me something. Somebody's in the phone. What is it?

What is it? Sounds like a lie. What does it sound Uh... What is it? It sounds like a lie. I think that sounds like a lie. I'll listen. I have Richard Flardo on the line. Richard Flardo on the line. You're on the bomb fire. You're crackle crackle with the bomb fire.

Throw your log on. I'm always trying to find different ways to introduce the audience what they call in. Hey, throw your log on the fire. Hi, how are you? Hey, what's up buddy? Make your smores. Hey. Hey. Pull up a? Hey, what's up buddy? Make your smores. Hey.

Hey, pull up a, pull up a, I don't know. I'm not sure. You're at the bonfire. Yeah, let's get the mosquitoes away. Come on, you're on the bonfire. Go ahead, wait, Tom, so we just wanted to keep introducing you on the bonfire. Well, I just wanted to let you all know that I've been on those Zephyk sick as a dog for six months. Mm-hmm. The doctor prescribed, you know, the my initial dose was 2.0

from the get-go and never And but I just found out yesterday from my wife. I told her that I'm not gonna take a no more because I'm sick of being sick and throwing up and and all of the other shit that comes with it and i found out that there's lizard venom in it uh... wait that's that is that what you have a that's what charlie she took yeah right is that why i've been able to climb on the ceiling

uh... is that why i cut christines arm off in a grew back during the break? Yeah, Christine tail keeps growing back Christine, but look that up on the internet there Please and see if there's any or if that's like internet rumor, please let this be true There is The Gila monster of venomous lizard of southern US origin is laying the groundwork for the development of promising diabetes medications, including O's, Zampic. Look at that. Jay, the Gila monster. What the fuck?

It's my- Oh, so what? You can't put a little gila, oh, you're better than a gila monster all of a sudden? It's all got creatures. So we did the pre-show, we had to cut out this. F***. Jay kept going, dude, a great time this week, huh? F***.

Is that a fly? F***. How Is that a fly? Is that a fly? Is that a fly? The key one. Can I see what a picture of a gillomond? I don't see this thing I got inside of me. How could you see me?

Chris, he just became the serious XM wall. The gillomond. Is he still on the phone? Ryan, you still there? Yeah, I'm here. Hey, how much weight did you look at your question is that a lot of is is your dosage was that a high dosage or a low dosage

is very high is like it's a high it's it's what we just move to at a low dose and do gradual increases. It was just 2.0, you know, what's four, you know, you get the pin needles and it's just set it to two and you slam it in and then you're sick. Yeah, he's not long. He's not long. Well, he's not long, most of the, that's the level that we just were on this last week

and I felt rotten, 100% of the time since I take it. How fat is that? And he's on it for six months and he's still feeling that way. So I feel like that's, I feel like I wasn't told that that's part of like the plan. I feel like that's the plan. It makes you like when you think about every time being Christina even like, hey, we just get some dinner and told her food. Almost every time time now Christine throws up before it gets there i think

the thought of it and as we're ordering it i'm going so fun guys as a more as we're ordering on going like like i know i like that thing but you know you got to do every every day before you can eat just take up like a teaspoon of catch it that you have the same results? I mean, you're not wrong. I mean, I literally reordered food last night and I was like, oh, hang on, I have to go vomit.

Before we eat. And then I paused the show, we're watching. So I just hear Christine go, yeah. And then she comes with my insides are hurting. Yeah, she's missing the back row of teeth. Buddy, I feel so good. I'm so limp as a person. Right now, is this guy's name Richard?

Ryan. Ryan. Oh, Richard. Oh, Richard. You're a fucking ass. I'm pretty sure that says, what did I say over there? Richard. Hey, Richie.

Richie, you from Boston? I am. Yeah. How much, how much weight were you? How fat were you? I was 340 and I'm down to 2.95. Jacob, that's rude. And that's Jacob, that's funny.

It's not fun at all. But I will tell you, with that 50 pounds loss, and you're ready to get off of it because you know, obviously you want to lose more weight. But I think he's having the same thing I'm just like I want to lose I still need to lose significantly more weight but I don't know if this is the way I would love to lose more weight but I'm sick of being sick yeah what's the point of everyone saying that's what I felt like even last night everyone saying like dude it's really working you're looking good and I'm like well, I feel horrible

Well, that should be their new slogan sick of being sick Hey, it's a good time for as long as you can hang in there Just get to 20 but Christine don't you're not supposed to throw up every day every day that's not that's not that's notchess or have indigestion or imbibing I'm I mean you live by the way you're living the life our last scout I had to run off from the mob museum and run off like at the casinos to go throw up by the way you're living the life of a model you're just not you know the body type you know it's funny Bobby I did leave this out the other day.

Remember where I told you yesterday that we were, that we were snuggling in bed the other night? We were big spoon, little spoon. What I did leave out though, while it was sexy for a while, the thing that did broke it up, break it up, is at one point. No, it wasn't me on this one,

and it wasn't smell at all. It was just the thing of, I had my arm and leg over Christine Cutting her and I just fear a leg there and she goes Like the bot like the body jerk of that are going The other day when butterly was in here at like 615 I started to feel like I had to throw up and then on the break I went to go throw up like What can I I know what throw up and then on the break I went to go throw up. Like, it got off. I know what the brunt is, what's the,

it's the burping into her mouth and then getting out in the middle of her up. Oh, man. I was asleep, I was sleep burping. No she wasn't. Sleep burping? Nope. Oh, I wasn't?

No, because I was like, Jesus Christ and she goes, sorry. Well, I also was a fucking binge drinker for a decade and used to throw up every night. So like my stomach's already not great. So this is fine. So this is nothing to you. I mean, it really, it makes me, it feels like home, honestly. Feels like the old days.

Is it fucked up to say out loud and myth that I'm worried about getting off of O's Ampick because Christine's going to get off it and then she's going to get really big? Oh. I mean, you know, I'm a guy at the end of the day, it all flushes out fine for me. That's the one thing I was. I did, I did put on weight, I put on like 20 pounds and I'm happy to have gotten some of it off, but now that I kind of have this jumpstart, I feel like with diet and exercise, I can take care of the rest without end throwing up. And maybe vomiting still.

Yeah, maybe bulimia. Maybe throw the bulimian. Without end throwing up. And maybe vomiting still. Yeah, maybe bulimia. Maybe throw the bulimian. And it's just given me an eating disorder. Me and Christine are anorexic and bulimic. Me and Christine are also quietly both sort of open. They go, you know, it takes five weeks to get out of your system.

And it's almost like three more five weeks for that taking it off. You'll feel shitty, but I'll do some more weight. But then I'm off of it. Dude, yeah. You are going gonna be all right This oh's it. No, you're not this ozampic. There's so much shit coming out against this drug You know the good sign the good sign that ozampic exists. You have heela monster in you Fucking crit rich you there

Richard you there I think it's going up Richard you there Oh hang up Hey there Richard top Hey buddy just check it We'll just check and get in jump off the bridge They put him back on hold Just check it make sure you still there

He's got leds at Joe's One guy said I think you guys are taking it wrong That's why you feel sick How could that be possible He's supposed to pour it into each other's assholes. How are you doing it? I mean, we're injecting each other in our kitchen. It's crazy. Fuck it. That's pretty hot. I feel like sitting there. I can't you think it's a lower dose. Huh? That still makes me sick. For Christi, I'm telling you, you could easily get me to dial back a

dose and stay on this for sure For sure I could dial back a dose because I'm telling you I never Considered quitting it until this week and this week. I'm like I won't feel like this. I'm not traveling this weekend I have to go to like toll-socle. I'm not feeling like that. There's no way. I just I'll be miserable You'll go you're not going. No, I am going. I'm saying I'm not feeling like that. There's no way. I just I'll be miserable. You're going. You're not going. No, I am going. You got I'm saying I'm not taking those amping. I'm not I can come back to it though, but you can skip we can come back. I can't Sure, they tell you you guys are fucking evil. You're addicted, but I'll tell you help it. No, it's so I want to be skittish I'll tell you how bad this shit is too. I was like 30 pounds thinner like hi everybody

My name is Christian. I was that bad Christine. I have three teeth left but it's fine. I've puked on my teeth out. I haven't eaten in like three weeks. I'm two weeks of fuck but. Yeah, I can't fuck you because I'll get hurt. My bones are brittle. Yeah, don't bump into me and I can't walk down stairs.

I feel fucking awesome. I've worn walk downstairs. I feel fucking awesome. I have more of these jeans since I was fucking Rock and body and the voice of an angel to the very end true that I don't know I'd call her rock and body rock and body I was about heroin. She had the same ass as fucking Mick Jagger fuck her a little flat ass. Yeah She always looked like walking deaf. She actually was grow test Jacob, nice call. She had big tits and a goof face. Huh? She did, she was corn. She was thin, but she did not have, she did not have a rock bar.

She was emaciated. She just had big tits. Yeah, I'm not remembering. Well, that's something. I mean, that's a good part of the body, but it's not a rock and body. Can you pull up a, yeah, she did not have a rock and body.

She's a skeleton with tits. That death didn't rock my world at all we have a lot of colors what what are the colors calling info um they're all telling us for you gonna die terrible things better than pick you gonna die but rich I will say uh I text my doctor didn't get back to me and I asked him back possibly going back to the lower dose but yeah because he's dead he was a was epic but I want to he was he's a full lizard right now in the office. Turning into a lizard.

And this is how they make super villains. Yeah, his partner just put him in a fucking, into a glass cage. He goes, wait, they injected me with radioactive, Mozampic, radioactive, now I have guile monster powers. You guys have fucking guile monster juice in your veins. Christine, we gotta get out.

Even if we do, but I. I tell you somebody else was pushing Mungaro on me this weekend. Who's that not pushing a couple that was telling me they're on that and they go switch over to that The guy goes I'm on the highest dose. He goes you take it you're sick for one day Oh, man, this it shouldn't have to be your sick plus I Didn't overthink and never gave a shit about it when they were like, it also takes away bone density and muscle and I'm feeling that and that's not worth. I hope you go on stage this weekend and you fucking on break. I mean, I was ready to quit.

You can have the microphone if you stop. Oh, God. I was ready to quit like four weeks ago. I was, I hope you high five Ari on your stupid special arm. I'm full of love. Snap your arm off. How funny would that be? Hey.

Oh! Ah! Oh, what are you, what kind of creature are you, Shaffir? Where do you get those crazy high fives from? I was swearing up and down on my friend Michelle that I was quitting like four weeks ago, and then she asked me if I'd weighed myself, and I went to weigh myself, and I'd lost 10 pounds, and I was like, I and down on my friend Michelle that I was quitting like four weeks ago And then she asked me if I'd weighed myself and I went to weigh myself and I'd lost ten pounds And I was like I'll stay on it now. I'm down

14.8 it's really it's really hard to like quit something that you're seeing results from but I am sick all the time I'm gonna give it I'm gonna give it to Christina or sleep Just give it to my inner belly He got a J alpha making her Like I still feel sick. It's not working. It's quitting. It's not working. I broke my finger again on the elevator What's happening my ankles broke on the step again? I mean I was in profit. I haven't worked out in months Couldn't possibly you're not wearing yourself big guy? Huh?

You heard me. What are numbers mean dude? That's the whole thing, is the number. I'm a dense guy. If you're losing weight, but you're losing muscle weight, also that's horrible for you. Yup, a child. A fuck up dude.

I'm just hanging out dude, I'm gonna sock Jacob. You have to fuck up man. You missed him Jay. Say it again. Say it again. Next one's gonna knock you the fuck out, bro. Sorry, I didn't give Jacob a little arm jab to show him what I'm working with. You want to go, motherfucker? Jay can't hold the bus cigarettes. Oh, these pillow punches, but I got nothing. Yeah. I feel, I literally, I feel like my head drags when I walk from room to room to house. Why do I gotta go over there to do that? I, yeah, I've like gotten up to like send emails and make phone calls.

I'm like, I gotta lay down. I gotta write my head. Jay has to use his head to chase the channel in the remote. I really feel like just lost my way. I feel like just lost my way. You gotta get off this shit, man. Go get, listen, just go get small bellies. No, we're gonna do what I did.

I know, we're doing meal plan. We're gonna do meal plan. I'm talking to him through you right now. We're gonna do meal plan. What's a meal plan? We're gonna give you meal plan. Don't ever sponsor, let's get a sponsor. We should get a sponsor for that.

Hey, meal plan, company. Factor meals, factor meals, get on sponsor. We should get a sponsor for that. Hey meal plan. Componals factor meals. Factor meals. Get on it. Not once you have to cook. I wanted to like come and I put in the Micro put your meatloaf on the fire. Don't your meatloaf on the fire. Like that. Thank you. I do. You know Bobby, let's take another call. What's pick what it is. Let me see them here. Let's pick what it is and I want you to bring them in. Maybe put your little spin on. Sure. How you welcome. You know, I think when Howard Stern's got like, they all do the thing. Hey, now, or whatever, like, what's our thing? There's some way this is a the perfect diet for us.

There's a website where you can get replica oacepic for the third of the cost. The cost is not the problem, it's illness. That doesn't sound like a good idea. I think you guys are taking it wrong. It's why you feel sick. There's no other way to take it. Wow, that's not true. You could drink it right from it.

Ashley and Paco, they say she has the perfect. You could smoke it. Why don't you try smoking it? I probably work here. I get it on a spoon and be, smoke it up like a nice, you know what I mean? People are doing injections. Yeah.

Smudge you be, yeah. I mean, snored it. Why don't you try snoring it? You know what? I don't want to change subject too much here, because I do want to hear, actually don't hang up. I want to hear what the perfect diet for me and Christina's. But James and Wisconsin, we should talk, we should talk, take this call after Ashley. So James and Wisconsin don't hang up. Ashley

though. Hey Ashley, what's the perfect? Oh, Bobby brings in. Hey, Ashley, why don't you put your pot of water on the fire, make a cup of tea. That's great. That was good though. Come on. It's worthy. None of us saw this being a guy either. I know this thing. I thought Ashley was a girl. I was thinking she was a redhead. No, not a redhead. Ashley, you got to be from the south because that's really that name. They name boys Ashley, right? Yeah. North Carolina. All right, there you go. North Carolina. Actually what's the perfect diet for me and Christine? I went on E2M. I had to have a knee replacement. Is that asked to mount? That's how it's supposed to take Ozempner. So to put it in her ass and eat it out of Christine's ass all. But you guys should do ATM. If you've put everything

up your ass before you eat it, it will not stay now. Yeah, you'll throw up all the way you need to lose. What is E2M? E2M is it eager to motivate. I did the ozimpic. I did the other diabetic medicines to try and help. Nothing. I've lost 60 pounds in the first eight weeks of doing the diet. Jesus. What is it? I was in an also an exercise program. They they'll send you everything of what the way you're supposed to eat your food each week. And they'll send you exercise programs, but I did no exercise.

Oh really, it was just a, it was just a me. Oh, okay. Yeah. What's up, dude? Hey, do you take a peek? Is it, is it, is it expensive? It's, what's up, dude? Hey, do you pick? Is it expensive? It's three. If for both of you, it would only be $340, one time for life.

What? You're a member of forever. And they send you food? No, no, no. You do your own food the way you want. They do have food. Dude, can you do us a favor? Can you just send us the shit that they sent you me this seems ridiculous you just give me a thumb drive yeah can you just can you just email

Christina J will say will Venmo you 50 you know what Venmo you 50 and a whole thing about Zemperk yeah I have a bunch of 2.3 left yeah it seems like like a good program it's anything it keeps like, well, not to use the words they're using, but motivated is pretty good. How much did you weigh before, Ashley? I was 320. I was probably lifting.

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, I'm pretty proud. Don't do that. It makes me happy. It's not funny. I just shouldn't make you happy. Jacob, where you blew your knee out powerlifting? No, no i that was years and years of sports and everything i was still powerlifting with with the

pain i thought that was smart i thought that was jika being smart me for a second i didn't hear you say that you were a powerlifter because when jika goes let me guess you hurt your knee powerlifting it certainly wasn't getting up for the third trip to the buffet was it no I know I know I know so you lost 60 pounds and eight weeks yeah just would die it right that right there have you ever gotten shit for the name Ashley no yeah oh and a give me shit all the time when I called him no well god bless you yeah so now you're what you're 280. To them to 65 to 50 set to right over 61. I've been fluctuating up and down.

I'm telling you this, if that's why the problem with like, not if I keep thinking to myself and why I'm not weighing myself on the one time that I do when I feel like I'm small enough that I'm like, I'm going to jump on and see what I weigh now because I know it's lower than it's ever been since I was like a teenager. If it says like 250 something or two, I'd probably tear up. I'd probably tear up. Tear up in a good way or a bad way. A good way. Oh. I've never, I was like 300 pounds when I was like a late teens and then got like 340 in my like like 20s.

And then in my early 30s I started doing CrossFit and that's why I did all that and lost about 75 pounds and then I never I never really put all that back on but I would fluctuate like 20 pounds in there. I was fatter than you. I was 353 55 at my heaviest. You were so much gut. You were all gut. I hurt me that you just said that.

No, it's like the best. Because you said, yeah, but you said that to other people. The way you said that, you said, I've, you said that Bobby's all gut. Behind your back when we were really worried about you. Exactly. The scariest kind of fat, the all gut one, is the one that all pulls in the organs.

And the scariest type of conversation, the one behind your back when you could have saved me We could have saved you, but I was gonna I was starting writing my speech ago. Yeah, I'm gonna be so funny about these Tiny house joke I'm bringing back Did you have did you really have conversations about my gut like me being too fat? No, not your I know well Yes, we did have conversations about being worried about your weight Who's specifically who's we? me and Jay, and who else? Everybody just me and Jay, me and Ari. When your friends that are on OZ,

I have talks about you being too fat that you have a diet. And then I assume your affection of like contemporaries. Also, I assume Vos, Colin, they told me to my face. They did tell you face Yeah, he thought that they would it was their response But they told me to my face in a very mean way to make each other laugh. Yes, okay It wasn't like an intervention. It's not a cool way you guys right you guys are having an intervention behind my back Yes, yeah, we were one time when you were on your own Scared you on stage 10 feet away from me and are you were on stage killing in Detroit. I mean leveling the room where me and are you weren't or maybe you were closing that one.

But oh, whatever it was. We're like, God damn it. I mean, are you went and had a heart to heart. Well, we could hear you out in that. Remember that theater had like a side garage. We got like smoking. Yeah. Me and are we sitting there going like, I have to say something to something the bobby like did you see him get a cow's own from a

gas station when we landed he bought a $20 lottery ticket in a cow's own and then said words to me like and then said sentence to me he said things to me like not that bad actually surprisingly good for a gas station calzone, which means that's not the first It's not his first dance with this It was! I'm dying because at those shitty truck stops they have pretty good food I'm such a fat fuck bad while he goes do you want a bite and I kept saying no and then event when he was gonna throw like the rest out I go like I have to try a truck station and I took a bite too because I'm a piece of shit I remember that calzone I almost bought that and there was a chicken knuckles or something. Something crazy, yeah.

I'm guessing Ari passed. No, he took us and you were fucking some Czechoslovakian su place. I was crazy food. Whatever it was, I did not enjoy the food when we were there, but the second we were back in the car, I'm like, things are alive inside of me. Yeah, dude.

As you're eating it, you can feel things like becoming another form of itself in your stomach. There was other tables, like when they wiped their mouths with napkins clearly, they're just like wipe it and just like drop it on the floor. And the floor was trash. Windows were blackened out like a strip club.

No, and then we're blackened out. They were cruddy. Oh, sorry They're cruddyed out. It was like It was it was it was it was pure like Blood though that you couldn't see through it and we walked in and ours like no, I went on one of my trips I will All the chicken asses really good for me and me and Jay is such people please is we don't know how to say no We're like okay, and we walked in can I have number six?

the soup I also was one of those Remember that remember the there was one little thing that we got that was good the who was so hungry the first bite We're like not bad, but by the fourth one You like is like some type of fetus. Yeah, it's like ostrich tears. Yeah, it was disgusting.

None of it made sense. It was all, I don't understand. Why was a full, why was a, oh, not a full, but a half cob of corn in soup. Well, that, you can't eat it. For soup does that too. What? Peruvian soup does that too. Maybe that was the dumb

shit's place we were at Peruvian. But there was a thing in there. I don't know if it was an animal or a vegetable, but I didn't, it had a like a shape and a color. I didn't know what it was. Yeah. And Ari was like, oh, that's what they put in it. Well, what the fuck is it? You don't have to describe it's a vegetable with the texture of meat. Yeah. It was crazy. And we ate all of it. We ate all of it. That's fucking specialty spoons or whatever nonsense was there. Yeah. And then they were so, of course, then they found over Ari because Ari went to Peru. Whatever the fuck it was. So he had to go in there and he was like, I'll have to cook something up, like whatever nonsense pronunciation

you knew had to hit him. We're like, fuck him right now. And give them, I'll have the smishish sniff, but give them the bmach mach because they can't handle the smish, mish, mish. Yeah, they're not ready for that kind of, I don't know what, diarrhea. Isn't it you and Ari

that went to like the nicest restaurant in the world? No ma. It's the nicest restaurant in the world? No ma It's the nicest restaurant in the world five years in a row Nice. What's the actual term? It's the number one restaurant in the world number one ranked voted number one restaurant in the world Based on food in Copenhagen I Ari actually said look I put a reservation in two months ago

We're not gonna get in Okay, so we walked by the guy who I said, look, I put a reservation in two months ago. We're not going to get in. So, okay. So we walked by the guy who flew us there, Tom, great guy. Took a sin and said, you know, whatever, gloop and glimplankloppo in his language. To the people that were comics were here, if there's a cancellation, blah, blah.

So the next day I was having pizza with Tom and his wife, and Ari called me, he goes, we're in. We have a half hour and I literally, I was like, I just ordered a pizza to the guy Tom. He's like, you must go. You must. And he put me in a cab and I went over. And we had a 12 course meal, no 28 course meal.

Took three hours. And it cost 500 dollars all 600 dollars each. Who paid? We both paid. But it came out in in in cronens, which is 5,000. And I almost shit my pants because it said 5,000. I was like, are you an out? I can't afford this.

Well, Bobby, what? What if I were to tell you that since you spent all that money out there? Yeah. I can get you some free diamonds I love free diamonds free diamonds real diamonds Real no Steven Singer is giving other jewelers Another reason because yeah, Bobby's accent did not make that sound good yesterday Hey, man, you got to cut me some slack. I'm just giving other Jews another reason I hate him Another reason because yeah Bobby's accent did not make that sound good yesterday. Hey man

You got to cut me some slack. Steven's giving other Jews another reason to hate him You don't want to miss this deal. Steven is giving away free diamonds. Well sort of anyone who purchases a real diamond engagement ring Whether it sells for five hundred fifteen,000 or $15,000 Steven's giving away a free one-carat lab-grown diamond. He doesn't care about these things. No, he doesn't. You know why? Because he cares about real.

Real diamonds. He's got the best. He's got the best. He's got the best. God made diamonds. That's right, and he only sells those. But he has these lab-grown diamonds and he's just going to give them away. Because that's what he believes they're worth. Free is the most Steven will ever charge for a lab-grown diamonds and he's just gonna give him away, because that's what he believes they're worth.

Free is the most Steven will ever charge for a lab-grown diamond. Nothing says I love you less than lab-grown, don't be fooled. If your guy got you a lab-grown diamond, even if he worked really hard for it and it's always can afford it to thought the counts... Dump him! Because he loves you less. Steven's Real Natural Earth-born diamonds are always worth 100% what you paid. Buy a real diamond from a real jewel or you can trust Steven Singer Jewelers online at iHatesTvenSinger.com or in a showroom in Philly go to iHatesTvenSinger.com for details. Limited quantity purchased for acquired that's iHatesTvenSinger.com.

Would you like that? I would love a fake diamond. Awesome. Well, have I got one for you when I buy DJ low engagement ring. Well, yes, is he doing something crazy? Oh, I thought you made one. What? Oh, did we not say in the beginning of the show? We didn't introduce. We jumped right into the show because Bobby came back from taking a dump Yeah, what it's our first day having black loop based on zoom hey He's on zoom buddies here. Hi buddy What's up still a cowboys fan, huh? Okay, yeah, okay. It's gonna be a rough season buddy First yes, not for you unfortunately now. We're gonna be really really good. I think

But don't worry about that Lou because you know how much I love the Sixers and One of our star players went to Chania's today and has a viral video saying he will never play for the Sixers again and the guy who runs the Sixers and he's a liar over and over again. He said that. So Should be a fun training camp, you know what I mean? I hope you stay on those ambics so when you team wins you can't applaud Well, I can but I break both of my wrists That's what I felt becoming mr. Glass the dog jumps on me. Oh My old bones every time they get a touchdown you have to go Christine hold my arm up with my number one finger foam finger she lost all the way she's like now you do it yourself Fuck fast

Put your arm down you fucking loser. Oh Go birds go birds so funny go birds my friend Gil He used to be a bouncer at the comic strip one of my favorite things that he got He used to be a bouncer at the comic strip one of my favorite things that he got Kidney he used to come over he got into this the Eagles I think because of us like our group of friends would watch it And he kind of wanted to like be part and hang out. Gilles great. Still a good friend of mine But he I think he overplayed his interest in the Eagles and he would come out And he bought a jersey and he'd come watch the games with us every Sunday I think think he said he was a fan for when he was a kid but I felt he was not but uh

because he wouldn't couldn't tell you any facts at all about the team aside from what was happening that week. So uh he came over my house when I just happened the night before we went to go watch the game is when you had to go watch it at a bar still out here. It wasn't in your house and he got kidney stones so bad he was throwing up in your house and he got kidney stones so bad he was throwing up in my house blood and pissing blood and we had to take him to the hospital and he wouldn't let us stay with him. He was like, no, you guys got to go watch the game. He, he, what do you call that like insisted that we go and we're like, okay, man, and he gets out and they put him on a stretcher and as he strap him up

He looks at us and he puts his thumb up and he just goes You don't have to keep doing this just go in the hospital. I mean as you question about the fan shit Mm-hmm. Do you think that as a fan of a team you have to know a Bunch of shit about the team. Oh can't you just be a fan? I think it's a fan of a team, you have to know a bunch of shit about the team. Or can't you just be a fan? I think it's a level of fan shit. Okay. So is it a level down if you're just a fan of, if I just like the patriots and I like the, I'm from Boston, I like the patriots.

I root for them and I want them to beat the fucking Eagles every time. But if I don't know who's plays center or who is the kicker, then you're not a real fan, right? By week, what? Question answered. By week, what? I mean, I don't, I don't follow college sports at all. I don't follow, I can't stand college sports. And training camp just like bombs me up, it's not like, it means nothing.

Right. Like preseason games, I'm always just not that excited out. It's not like it means nothing. Right. Like preseason games. I'm always just not that excited by. I'm talking week five. I mean, I mean week five, you should know your core player. You should know your core. I don't need to start the ball. So you should know, I mean, the quarterback, the wide receivers,

the kicker and the kicker and the tie-down. Okay. I'm okay. You know what you two, you should know your two staple offensive lineman. Two, you have to know offensive lineman. Two. Two staples. So you have to know two offensive lineman.

Okay. This is for me by the way. You gotta talk to someone like Dan or Shane. Dan, Shane, they know the players that are coming. They know the backup guys in school. They went to, I think that's gay. Sure. And whenever gay means in that

world, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking to gay for guys sports. Yeah. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Yeah. Sports. Sports. They definitely sports. Dude, he plays the gay. Some say he played for the Oklahoma. He was a first shot. Okay. I know where the newest first one or two pick eagles went to college because it's been made a big deal in every article I read. The Georgia Bulldog sent two of their big guy. Okay.

I guess that's good. I'm fine with people knowing. You know, but there's nothing more boring to me than hearing two guys around the TV talking about the history of some asshole. You want to hear a secret? What? You gay? Now, I'll tell you a secret though. You been giving her more ozmics than she should be, so she turns off overdosing her. You've been overdosing, Christine. When Dan was on the show. Yeah. And he used to talk sports stuff so many times. He was saying things because he would, I could talk to him

about the Eagles. He knows about sports. Yeah. I could be like, Oh, when Jalen hit so and so and stride was one of the prettiest touchdowns I've ever seen. And then he will do that with like, he's like, did you see the so and so play that like from someone from his team? I don't know if he's talking about all fence or defense after time. I'm like, I'm like, no, I go because if I was dumb dumb enough to go, yeah, that was a big hit, man. And he's like, he's a running back. It was a return for some of that. I'm like, uh, uh, yeah. But he knows so much deeper, like, level sports. Watches like every game, right? Like he's like football. His girl is in the sports,

too. His life is sports. I don't mind it. I get it. I can't do it. But black Lou does say black Lou your football all day Sunday. Right? You don't just you don't just seek you don't just seek out the Cowboys game. I just watched the Eagles and I'll watch highlights of games that matter to me like seeing if like the other NFC East teams lose or something. but I don't, I can't invest in the game, Todd. He's next level also because he does the fantasy sports, so he knows every player that ever lived. I don't mind, look, I don't mind that they do that. But like of Sunday, if the, you know, the patch around I'd watch him, but if it's football,

you know, if Mary Poppins was on another one in the show and then, you know, the Eagles were playing, I'd be like, I'd, I'd, I'd go back and forth. But you don't seek it out. You don't get like a, you don't have NFL league pass to watch every pass. I have to make sure I watch the only sport that I, the only sport that I love is MMA. I love MMA. And I've gotten into, this is weird. I've gotten into arm wrestling.

What? Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing? Why? Well, you could use what happened, Bobby. That was a woman laughing at you for saying you got super into arm wrestling. Because it's a fictitious sport

that only exists in a celestial stone movie. I used to think your truck stops for it. It is, I'm fucking high. You can't wait to take Max to a truck stop and train to be the toughest little kid. Just stand up to it. Max, stand up to your bullies with arm wrestling. I hope you overdose on those epic. She is I'm gonna make sure of it First of all bring on bring on

What happens if I squirt it into your water? What if I just squirted in your water bottles? I'm wrestling's back on sell it Christine Devon Larrett. I don't know who that guy is. Devon Larrett. One of the best talking energies I've watched in the last decade is called Pulling John. Do you ever see that?

Do we talk about that at all? On the show over Pulling John. I forget the guy's name, but he was a long time arm wrestling champion. Bring up the top one right there. No, no, no, no. Bring up, all right, East versus West. Click on that. This is legit, dude. This is arm wrestling is a legit.

What the fuck are you laughing about? Guys always holding hands. This is not holding hands. Say to me. Say to me. I'm telling you, dude. You'll kiss me over our hands. Oh, you say get away and pulling close to me To get guys holding hands

Because it's too gay guys holding hands This isn't sports is holding hands click on the other video I'm gonna win someone's hand is stronger than yours, you get pinned. Shut up. That's good. That's good. And you lock your grip to gather.

Highlights, highlights. Right there. You feel high. You feel high. With the guy. Good. Good. Hi.

Oh, please. Oh, that's good. That was great. I think you'll understand Bobby gets lonely during the week and Watch his guys holding hands He watches guys hold hands He watch guys It's a Then of fun. It's a lot of fun. And then they strap their hands together.

It's not weird at all. I'm busy. I'm super aggressive. These two guys right here, they're closer. The guy on the left talks a lot of shit. The whole time they're fighting. And this is a very serious sport. These guys are huge.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go to each other. Jay, Jay, you want to link up? Jay, what is it any different than guys putting on tights and slamming into each other? Yeah. I'm washed out of you there. Hey, they'll football wrestling.

I don't wear tights. I don't watch wrestling. The football players are wearing tights. I don't wear tight the men the football players wearing tights Skin tight pants show off their perfect African American asses I mean this this is no joke. This is Devon Larry this guy This is for American answer this guy's champ Both arms right and left. Oh wow, really?

Dude! I think he took more on. I'm gonna spit on this guy's black magic camera. Oh no. I think you took that wrong, which was funny. Look at this, look at that dude. You can't, this is a real sport this is the east east versus west right now he's he's looking to talk it look at him talking look at him look at him I mean these guys are legit I mean look he talked

shit the whole time is that Devon Larratt that's him Devon Larrett go on with hair scroll back. Yes, he's Canadian He's Devon Larrett one. He's actually Canadian special forces Went into this for good really talk to special forces. Yeah, but Canada who never gets sent anywhere It's all practice. It's at Larry the cable guy that broke someone's arm. Yes, listen to this guy talk shit though once they go Listen to this guy talk shit though once they go. Oh, jeez. What's that? Wherever they're having non-stoppable 7. King table 7. King of the table.

King of the table. Seven. Where's Bull Hurley? Where's the guy who drinks kerosene before he does it? These guys aren't fun. That was actually real that guy Good position straight away Trying to get back his wrist Go to the hand absolutely redlining. Oh

Was it the second one? That's the first one. Oh, they re-show it. I'm telling me That's great shit talking. You know what I could watch that And it gets the guys get even bigger go to the go to the east versus West Devon Larratt Larratt. He he that's this is he didn't know he did that this is King of the table He did this is highlight scroll scroll forward a little bit see if they go to another one He fought a guy that is one of the biggest human beings I've ever seen in my life Well the guy the pulling John guy that's a documentary you should watch life. Well, the guy, the polling John guy that's a documentary, you should watch Bobbi. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should watch that documentary, because I think it's like from years ago, when it's not

these guys are in it now, but he they show him getting ready. There's a guy like in Russia or something. That's a big guy who trains, but they show him training. It really is like a movie where like, you know, these a lot of the guys here are using like machines and all kinds of stuff and calibrating there. Whatever. And this guy is arm wrestling. I swear to you several men sitting in like a net. And like like there and the weight of them sitting in a net. He just like flips them like with one arm and you're like, this is crazy. I'm telling you dude, he's to arm at the prizes are Neil. He's first to do it so much.

This is East versus West seven. Is this a good one? No, it's, it's, he's, it's Devon Laryat versus, just type Devon Laryat versus Indomac. Do you know the Vickalena, he's versus West? Because that's right there. No, he fought here, but it's versus there. No, he fought it but it's Versus Kavonky hook a locky. Okay. Oh

Hang on go back one page Christine back there. It is right there. Oh no, no, there it is right there He's charged with abuse. This guy you love is a terrible woman beyond can you get away from these domestic abusers? There's every guy you love have to hit a lady me Calta this guy Bam Marjera Go back go back to where you were Go back go back to the wait. Oh, no, no, no, where were you forward? Right? No, where were you though with the verses? Devon Larry versus Put versus is just gonna ignore this guy's abuse just so you know if you say nothing you're part of the frog. Okay, that guy

Right there. Look at the size of that guy. He's fighting. That's why that's a big. Levant. Yeah, this guy is a look at the size of him I don't like Devon Larry with a shave Ted Look at the size of the guy. He's arm wrestling. I Mean it's crazy But the guy he this guy actually rips his bicep muscle here. Yeah, you know, yeah, he just he's too strong Well, it's a guy who looks twice his size twice. Yeah, I mean, definitely it's a pretty big guy. Yeah, he is a big guy. He looks like DJ Caled if he if he did ozampic. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Zam pic. Um, he the guy in over the top is a really, this guy

never lose. He loses in this one. Oh, really? Yeah, he gets several of those guys were real armrests and contested. They said they were annoyed that it made it look like the prizes for these things are 18 wheelers. Well, it was. That's a real story. The guy, the guy who did that, who he played, is a real guy.

Lincoln Hawke. Did you hear my baby stomach? Yeah. The Sylvester Stallone character? There's still, yes. Yes. Nope. Yep. Not a real guy. Yes. Yes. Yes. Nope. Not a real guy.

It's based on a real guy. Not a real guy. That is a... Face in that world of those guys. No, the guy that is based on one of the greatest armrests those ever, he entered that tournament for a truck. That story, not all of it with the son and all that bull shit is fake.

But the actual tournament and he he entered it Because he needed a truck and he was 18 when he entered it and he smoked everybody or I might be off in the age of very young And he had a kid with a rich lady. No, he did not Robert loja when he turned away He turns his hat around did he feel like a truck? He didn't the guy didn't turn his truck around fuck you Jacob, okay? Are you a woman long? Sorry? It's not women's soccer. Hey, did he somehow? Did he somehow have a police system of weights in his long haul from? No typing John Devon Lara versus what do you have versus? Yeah, why do you have a twice? Who's pulling John? Devon?

What do you have Devon Lara? Can you just do once? Oh, do I? Sorry, I can't see my own screen. I'm sorry, but yeah. You tried it. No, she's doing awesome. You're doing great. We have to break any more. What?

We do. It's been an hour, which is absolutely crazy. Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbomfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo