The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bobby Barrel (feat. Generation Kill)

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

Robert Kelly educates the room about history. Rob Dukes and Rob Youells from Generation Kill tell heavy metal stories!

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. I thought it was a fitting song. You can't stop this thing. We started because when I got here Dan and Bobby Kelly Bobby Kelly joining us today on the lost tapes Big Joke or Sundance Sodor. It's the Bond fire. Hulk crew is hanging out. Well, Jacob somewhere floating around. I think Jacob's today is obviously terminator timeline We are doing this show then the live show with Nikki dinky and so Jacob is I think really preparing his dish. Oh, yeah, he made a dish. It's a cookoff That's right. It is a cookoff and you know you're not here. Good Bobby's I'm sorry. No, it was trying to interrupt the show, but yeah, I can't, I can hear the music,

which is lovely, which I believe is Brian Adams. It is. And I couldn't hear you guys, so son of a bitch. Well, that's probably, if you had to choose, that Canadian songbird or us any day of the week. And that's just that stupid Robin Hood song, which I say is the worst. Oh, I hate it. I bet it's your stupid Robin Hood song which I say is the worst. I hate this. I bet it's your favorite. Yeah. What is it? That's a good. Everything that do you do

it. I'm a Christian Slater. We're a Christian Slater. We played his brother as half brother. Side guy though. He was the first side guy. That was after a pump up the volume didn't pop. Didn't pop? Jacob, we're just drawing air. Are you just coming in here? I thought you were both showing a stand. Daddy's. You've been in radio for decades. Wild. Yeah, a lot of it was black radio though, where that's OK.

Oh, yeah. Hi. Yo, motherfucker, you get that thing. I said, or what? Jacob, we just walked in. He's like, anyways, I just love you. He was having a good thing with Jera. I was like, I thought you were just fiascing with Bobby before before we began yeah, but we like to do a little dress rehearsal and we're I like to play dress up

Guys let's play radio until Jacob Oh look I'm the co-host thanks I'm Lou I'm going to get it. Oh, look, I'm the co-host. Thanks, Jay. Oh, I'm Lou. I'm hitting buttons, what I'm saying. Why does Lou always get to be the guy behind the board when we play radio? I picked that song, brought Brian Adams hit. To me, I'd say no one hears best song, but it was fitting

because you guys were already said you were in a heater over. Yeah, I walked out word selection. So I'm aware of. So this is, I'll give you my perspective first. When someone walks up to you and just keeps saying a word without adding context to it, it's always hilarious. Or if the word doesn't make sense. But if it could be a word

Just when you say a word repeatedly, it starts to make you feel crazy like you're like, do I not? Do I not know how to speak English? I don't know. I don't like that you're using hand gestures to have more power over me You're doing from the eyes to the nipples, which is it is aggressive. I like he's not he's not very aggressive I will I will put my hands on my knees. I put your hands Janie's maybe just place them place them nice and I'll play them politely. I'm at palms open so you guys can see I'm not holding a weapon now that looks self-righteous. I would say palms down palms down but just like the light you know when they make you do clear what your fingers sometimes when your eyes don't work they way you do like a light like a light touch. Okay. Light touch. Let your hands fall. Now now try. So my example was when I went out. I was on vacation with my buddy Mike and we were at the end of the night and he was kind of drunk and he and I was going back to my hotel

to go to sleep and he was like I'm gonna go to let out. And I was like what? And he goes let out. I'm going to let out. And I go you want me to get the let out you want me to play back to back zeppelin sauce With you back to back you're in downtown Stockholm and we're getting the let out this next one off house the holy Mike fartbox wants to get the let out And we're and he just keeps saying let out and he's drunk so'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And he goes, lead out, you know, like when the bar lets out. And I was like, say bar, lead out. Like, well, because,

somewhere where he's from or in one some group of friends, they have a term. That's let out. Yeah, that's exactly. But also life is short. So sometimes you'll shorten things up. I'm going to let out. Would you know what that meant? Yeah, I know it about 100% First of all, prove it second of all

100% 100% 100% I actually have it's on my mind. Check out Comical I have the shirt that goes let out I'll meet you at the let out So I'm in the studio before the show and Bobby just that's going barrel I know what? Barrel

Like a barrel risky what do you tell me? I guess where's the barrel and I go Where's the barrel? Where's the barrel? Where's the barrel? Where's the barrel? Like barrel? If she was a barrel. That's what I was thinking. I was like, is this like a common thing in a radio station where they just have barrels and I never knew that. You've been working in a radio for 20 years.

Come on, dude. Where's the barrel? Barrel the jokes. I didn't know there was like a thing. So I'm like like What do you mean barrel? And then he's like where I put this and it was trash And I like oh the trash can it's not a can It's exactly what he said. It's not a can it certainly isn't a barrel It's certainly first of all it's closer to a barrel than a can a can is small a can is made out of aluminum or Aluminium if you're from Australia or England and or tin. Okay, I'll take tin, but here's the thing.

That is closer. That's a barrel. That's a trash barrel. Now barrel, to me, always implies would and also would suffice if you put some suspenders on it as clothing if someone takes your clothes off. Or if you're going down Niagara Falls. Yeah, if you're in an alcoholic that supports the Denver Broncos. Where? Let's go back in time. Let's do a little history. Okay. Where did the first

trash when they first put trash and something back in the day? What did they use? Probably a hole. No. The ocean? A barrel. They used old barrels. This is a fact. You forget that we have the internet. You can look at this. The first the first the first trash barrel, the first trash dispenser. We'll call it that in an office space or inside was an old whiskey barrel. Okay. I feel like this is made up. This is not made up.

Let me tell you how made up it is. I saw the joy on Bobby's face when he thought of whiskey barrel. And he was like, okay, whiskey barrels good. That's real good. But first he said cave people are using barrels for trash cans. And then they're also making whiskey. I wasn't watching his face. I was zooming in on a barrel like he was a documentary.

Like it was the first barrel. The barrel on a barrel like he was a documentary. Like the first barrel of burns, I can burn documentary. The first body's like barrels, whiskey barrels. They were you trash can. Here's a little fact. The first trash can ever trash can. Okay, trash can is fine, but that was a can. It was a little.

In office spaces, in office, but historically, it was a barrel, an old whiskey barrel. They take an old whiskey barrel that they use. What are they going to do with those? They can't. They use them for firewood. They try to reuse them for other things, but there's too much whiskey, so they would take the barrel. They put it in the office space during the industrial resolution. It's a revolution.

Revolution, sorry. Sorry, sorry, Sorry. No seriously No, I'm not staring longly at Bobby and look up This is A little Massachusetts in low-home Massachusetts people from Massachusetts do this all the time They have one tie to the revolution and they think that that's how Shit, I'm sorry. It said trash can't barrel made it from whiskey barrel. It did say that.

Well, there are, it looks like hipster stuff. Like, yeah, you can get a whiskey barrel trash can. What the hipsters go back and use stuff from the past. They don't know. They don't know. They like stuff that's aesthetically tough, but doesn't actually have to be tough. But the back in the industrial revolution,

in low Massachusetts, they needed something to put the trash in and they used old whiskey barrels. Hence now. History of the trash can. If you're right, that's gonna fucking really upset me. I'm 100% right. I am. It doesn't change the fact that you don't call it a barrel now.

You do? Why wouldn't you? Why would you change that? It's trash can. Okay, okay. Now garbage bin seems to see me to think. Now Bobby, I'm gonna say this. Bin is actually, first of all, bin is Greek for barrel.

Look it up. Check that right now. Check if bin is Greek. Well, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been , it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been , it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been,

it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's been America. Ellis Island, they couldn't put all those. If I could be not, they Jennifer Anderson, they Jennifer Anderson. No, by the way, the guy who made it was Eugene Poobell. It was fun though, which is hilarious. Who about? I really did think Bobby when he said it was like a word for a trash can. Basically, I did think you were gonna come with receptacle.

I was prepared, because Dan knows this. Dan, weirdly enough vocabulary isn't as strong as suit. And it can be at times, but then at times it's great failure. And I thought, listen, you're a word, Smith, in what you do. But I mean, you get him to read a multi-syllabic word. It's going to shit. It's not so bad. What's that know and I know it, but if not, and all by the way, sometimes those second guests myself and get wobbly. I don't know what syllabic means. Is that like a multi-syllables? Oh, I thought that was like cavemen, like a syllab. You want to give

us a factual history of the word? I thought it was Eastern European. You know, it's funny about that, dude. In Eastern Europe, Slaviks were the ones that taught language. Slaviks? Slaviks? I was there like a seven and a half looking through the window. She's one of the talent people. She's talent. That's what we call them around here. She's very pretty.

Yeah, she's part of the talent. Get it. A lot of talent on here. But I thought, Bobby, you were going to use, like you said, receptacle or waste paper basket, and Dan was gonna like give you shit for that. Barrels wrong. No.

Yeah. No. Wait, wait, wait. Now first of all, can I just say something Jay? I haven't even pleaded my case to you. Okay. I mean, he got to do his whole thing with his hands down. First he used his hands and then he got into it. Then he went at it and then I was kind of defending myself all my

Remember when I told that personal tale. I think they're really kind of tied it in You're like connected to the people I just you know, I'm kind of like the Bruce Springsteen of trust and stories I'm just in with a mic and waiting for the letter Then I took whiskey Troublesome trash Troublesome the corner waiting for food Throwing a trash, but you're like early man

You didn't get a chance to take state your kids. I'm just saying, Jay, may I call you Jay? Of course. I, when you say can, what do you think when you think of can? Tits. Just the word. Yeah, one tit. One tit.

I think of Miss Deckamy's right, who took off my can, lost my left can. I think you lost my left can to the big sea. If you've ever had a mistake in me, please say it, you lost the can. There you go, I lost the can to the big sea, you know what I mean? Got it from my mother, her mother's mother.

That's takes new special missing two cans. Yeah, two cans. Dude, seriously, when you think of a very can, you think of a little tiny coke can. If you say the word can to me, just can, I would think, uh, yeah, I would think something small. When I say, when I say barrel, you think of what? I think of, uh, Niagara Falls. No, no, I think of, uh, like, yeah, not Niagara Falls. I think of like a barrel like full of trash. No, Brandy. Look at me, don't look at him.

Look at me. Don't look at me, please just stay over with me. Look at my eyes, Jamie. I think of being full of trash. Trash. Trash. Yes. Jay, we both know that's wrong.

Jay, he's hypnotizing you. Hey, oh my, Jay. I'm gonna need some of that brandy that those dogs carry in their barrels on their neck. Yeah. Yes, that's what I was gonna say, because I was attacked that those dogs carry in their barrels on their neck. Yeah. Yes, that's what I was gonna say, because I was attacked as a child by a St. Bernard. Yeah. Are you sure you weren't saved?

No, I was. Are you sure you weren't saved? I actually showed Christine, less than when my mom said I was like, that was the night deposit box. My mom dropped her money off after work when she left the door open and a loose St. Bernard just jumped to the car. And I screamed. I screamed. I screamed. It was so slobbery and big. It just got in. They looked. It was cool. Just but Kujo was. He was well. He was well. He had a bear getting the car. They're screaming with my face against the glass with his dog all over

me until the cops came. My mom called the cops. I think I told you when you told that story, but there's this girl that I used to hook up with in Colorado during when I was in college had a St. Bernard and one time in the middle of the night, I went to get a glass of water in the kitchen. You know, I looked at the living room and the St. Bernard was sitting on the couch like a human. Just in his feet up on the middle seat,

just like looking at me. Look like a man. I was like, oh, it's crazy. Holy shit. Okay. I think I said this in the show. My friend, my friend Glenn, the girl that he had kids with. Yeah.

Maria. Well, when you hang in her house all the time, was like where if the kids could all go do whatever house and They had a st. Bernard that I thought was stuffed furniture When I for the first couple months. I see a thought I never saw it move until one time We brought over a black friend and that dog lawn used to imbit his stomach. Oh my god It's the weirdest I've ever seen. And he bit it and nothing happened because he had abs. He's a piece of shit.

I tell you what, I'll say what, he didn't mind showing us where the cut was because of his abs. He was like, look the thing got me. Oh, shut up Justin. Oh, he's got the d'Angelo's. He's like, oh, he's like, oh, he must have smelled an extra bone of my ankle. It makes me super athletic.

That is, the dog jumping in their car with you is the funniest thing. A loose dog, because all dogs used to be loose. Oh, yeah, loose dogs. There was never, there was never, like, they used to be like women. Fast and loose. Fast and loose. Just down on the dogs. Yeah, but now everybody has a leash.

It's weird, like, you have to, it's like a law because of those situations. I don't think my dog wouldn't, like she operates on a leash because if I think we were off leash, she wouldn't listen to me. She would listen to me like on the second or third one, but on the first one, dogs used to,

I feel like back in the day, you just be like, hey, come here, my dog growing up, you just say his name and you come back. They beat them. That's true. As well as like Ari Ari's dog Ari's dog is like him Like there's no leash. You just just just come on bandit and it just follow him. We're doing some stupid park Podcast with Ari during the pandemic and he was like oh here comes bandit back from the beach

The band was a trip bandit bandit was just at the beach in Central America. Yeah, yeah, he was actually went to China for like three weeks. He was like, yeah. He came back, he came back with like those Tibetan flags around his neck because he went up to Everest. Fucking dog bugs me. My dog stinks next to his stupid dog. You have to lock it down. I have to put an electric collar on her neck.

Shut her up. She'll just get killed the first day. Are these dogs gonna pass port in a beret? Yeah. He actually tell you. She'll just get killed the first day. Are you talking to a passport in a beret? Yeah. You can actually tell you. He has a joke book. He has a bar. Bar.

It's a one dog that has grasp of socialism. My dog's like this. If you drop that, I'm going to eat it. Have you ever seen a single that in Paris, wolf? You understand? He's a chase shirt. Listen to me, my old friend. This will, this big girl's in dog power.

He's found to chase, no? But he is better off to chase life. You remind me of a narrow dog I met. Are you so sure of that? I don't know. It's the longest thing too much. For being so wirey-haired. Yeah.

Can bugs me. It does show up like a dog that's chasing people on dirt bikes. Oh, yeah, for scooters. Yeah, his fingernails are red. Yeah, he's dating a golf chick for a while. And it has like, it's hairs like my chin hair. So it's long, wiery hairs. It's lived.

It's been in more continents than my dog will ever. I can't take my dog on a plane. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right back. Chris, he brought a, Chris, he brought a dog into a plane. He took our dog on a plane. Yeah, yeah. I really like that. Christine brought a dog. Christine brought a dog into a plane. She took our dog on a plane. Yeah, she did great.

It's great. She's small enough that you could use holder, right? No. There's a whole thing. Did you put her under the... No, no, no, no. Do they do that to dogs, too? Do they put her under the plane?

Yep. The best part was Christine is such a wonderful dog mom because she lacks the love of a child that when they should have picture from the airplane, Christine said on the floor and let the dogs sit in the chair. You're not like they're actually not allowed. They want to tell you that hey human, you have to sit in the chair. You sat on the floor of the plane.

And the dog by the way didn't think that was weird. It was always looking at the window like, dog or cranberry juice? This is the area. What do you mean, what do you mean? Yeah, let me get a tequila tonic and keep it coming sweetheart. Something about the headphone jack.

I'm only getting four out of my left ear. What do you mean? My TV doesn't work. Am I going to get credit for that or you sat on the floor like you got in between the seat and the floor Until they made her You have to sit in one of the front row so either the emergent the front row of first class or the front row the emergency exit So there's the space in between you first class Yeah, and I just like you know I was uncomfortable and I just like went and sat on the floor.

I sat on the floor a lot and she sat on the seat. I was just kind of switching around. I wouldn't like that for very long. If I would have seen you sitting on the floor and the dog sitting in the seat, I'd been like, did they get cursed and there was like a freaky Friday? I'd be like, the dog's brain is in Christine

and Christine's in the dog, whereas like, I gotta sit up here, you sit on the floor. The dog was like, I can't, I got to stand up here. You sit on the floor. The dog was like, I can't. I got to be on the floor. It's uncomfortable to me. I need a rug. Speaking of airports, there is an email now out to the business manager that says, you get me that platinum card right now, that platinum I'm x because I got way early to my airport

in Vegas. No Delta Lounge. No Delta Sky Lounge. We had the conversation about lounges on Legion of Skanks, but it didn't go well because we were hanging out with that galut Lewis who doesn't understand lounge life in an airport. Well, he doesn't like his Lewis.

Of course, Lewis is against lounge life. He's against lounge life. Well, because he'd, but there was, it's like free food and he'd be like, well, it's the, the, the, the, the jello. It's not fresh. fresh. They're sure where's the there's supposed to be more salmon. I like lemon in my water Do you have lemon? They'll kind of lounges this I did yeah, who's fingers are these sandwiches the size of because they're small Turns out they don't like when you clear a space to shadow box. I don't know. We he took

Cheers I guess sorry I got a fight in six months This is the guy trying to fucking talk about a merger that he's got going on He he took James out the dinner and he took me a max to a very fancy restaurant at EVs I mean letters and no no Specials how I'm in her to get with the whole family coffee No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I remember I'm hanging a hold on I'll be back in the kitchen to say to Marco. I'm hanging above the stage I know I'm gonna jump Anyways guys, I gotta get going try the crumbly you guys are enjoying the pasta trust. Oh man, would you say it's a 10? All right. I know you're gonna have to. Oh, try our new cocktail, especially cocktail vatology.

Absolutely. It's made with a 14 year old rum. You would go eat it at a V's. What is it? Yeah, I'll tell you something. He'd have a table like it was rails if I opened up a fucking any Vetter Theme place

Raceros yeah, but that's not the one you're not So you guys actually passed up that one to go to this any these got it You guys chose not to yeah, we chose, got it. Deal, fair. You guys chose the not to. Yeah, we chose the other one. Okay, all right. All right. Dude, I get so, I love Lewis, you know that. I love him.

Of course. But I get so uncomfortable because I know he's got respect issues and if there's one, if one thing happens, it's like what the fuck man? What the fuck? Well, me and you, I think both temperament wise, maybe Dan, you, I've, It's like what the fuck man? What the fuck? It's me. It's me. Okay, what does it mean? Me and you, I think both temperament wise.

Maybe Dan, you go zero to 60, but something we've holding a little bit longer. I think, like me and you understand Lewis' thing, but understand also like it's us. So we have to stop before we look like assholes. But I don't like that he makes me, and I don't mean this to be sex. And accomplish.

No, he makes me into the wife. You know what I mean? I'm just like, honey, calm down. Hey man, it's gonna be all right. We just enjoy, because I don't want this thing to happen. He's like, no. Well you told me too, also,

when you have a young son like you do, who's at that age of action movies and whatever, he thinks what Lewis is doing is awesome, and he thinks you're a total pus. Yeah, he's Lewis's commando. And you're the stepdad. Lewis goes for, you're afraid to hurt your back throwing a punch.

Yeah, you've actually evolved and grown into a balanced man, and then Lewis is like, hey, why don't you rip your shirt off and threaten to fight the kitchen staff? I'm going to go knock this French fucker out. Hey, hey, hey, hey, come and watch me fight six guys at once. And they go, this is awesome. This is what fucking Van Dam would do with a real kid. But Lewis, you know, he brings the whole group.

He's got like the clan, the family, which I love. I love his sister and her daughter. And then the aunt who I don't know how, I don't know how she gets anywhere. She just appears. I think she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just,

she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just They are that be great if you finally ask her you go hey, how do you get anywhere? Partles mostly portal I think he ships it like Sensor ahead like you yes, Lewis has her like a like magicians when they send their truck You send her there she comes with merch. She's a bit of merch House is she's just on the couch before anybody I'm a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, an a merged, a merged, an a merged, He's got much better at he's gotten much better at getting it like to the point where he blows up

He is getting a little better. He is for sure. He's been sure of Bobby Bobby when we went to Me Bobby Don Christina max went to dinner in Montreal Oh, and they were they sat us down I don't know what was more important in town because they were it looked like the guy was weaving us Everything sort of flipping over the table to go give other people even water, just some water to start. I mean, it was bad. It was bad. What do you mean he was just like kind of disrespecting you guys?

It wasn't disrespecting. Like, ignore it. He didn't, he had something with us. I think when we sat down, he didn't want anybody else in his section and he was just annoyed by it. He was almost like, but they almost had that conversation over us. So we knew right away this guy was reluctantly taking the table. I was like, he's like, basically, it was almost like, why are these people sitting here? And he's like, because that's where

they're there. So he's like, I got all these like, okay. And he took, and right away, came to us and goes, I guess I'll be back to take your order kind of feeling like he was annoyed. We were there. And then ignored us for quite some time. When you're a waiter and you're over it, like on a shift, anyone that's waiting tables will tell you that and then you get a table, you just take it out on him where you're like, hear my last step, of course, of course they sit me here. Hey, how you guys doing?

Like, feel even say it in front of them, you go, you know, supposed to get a lunch break, I don't know if that's not gonna happen. Hi guys, but it's bad. Walk them, Oli. I had a kid with low blood sugar, which is not fucking good. And he was getting, like, he starts to get cutty.

You know what I mean? And you don't want a nine-year-old who's cutty at the table. And all we needed was a piece of bread, it's a butter, and the cuteness just goes away. Like, he lights up a little bit, and they didn't even drop bread. Well, Bobby did the best that he did, called the guy over finally.

And I mean, a good 30 minutes. 34 we call somebody easy. 15 drinks should be on the table at the latest 15 15 water. Water bread. Fight for yourself. When Bobby does it, it was a dark on the post. You know, you don't even know that another guy is ignoring how cool you're being. But Bobby just did a very quiet like he got the guy to come over and it was the over the shoulder. the shoulder thing where he's like, I don't know, it's just we've been here for like a half hour.

There's no bread, we can no water, like the kid need some bread. You know, we're sitting here, we don't mind waiting, but I mean, there's just nothing cut. And just like the hand motion, and the guy's gonna go, it's like right away, sir. And then that guy came over where the painted on angry smile.

And then we tipped nice, which really is the most, sometimes I feel then that guy came over where the painted on angry smile. And then we tipped nice, which really is the most sometimes I think that's the fuck you to shoot you away. Almost is more doing that. You're absolutely correct. I had when I was at a I went to canter as twice when I was in LA last week. And the only one back the second time, the first night I went, I got some food and I was like, you know, they have the second registerers for the cookies and shit. Yeah. And I was like, you know, they have the second register as for the cookies and shit. Yeah.

And I was like, I wanna get some cookies and the guy was just like, he was like, now I'm at two, he's like, it's too busy in here, it's not. There was maybe two other people there. No one's sitting, it's just takeout and it's not too busy. And I just kinda ate it. You know what I mean?

I was like, okay, I'm like, but when is it like available? He's like, well, we're too busy. And I just kind of ate it. You know what I mean? I was like, okay, I'm like, but when is it like available? He's like, well, we're not busy. And you just kind of shitty about it. And at the end of that, I gave him like, I didn't, I gave him like a normal tip. I'm on that one, I came back the next night and I said to him, I was like, hey man,

is it too busy tonight? Because I just like, I'm only in town a little bit, I love these cuss. I was gonna get a couple of these cookies. He's like, yeah man, like I'll try to get over, and when I went over there because I just like I'm only in town a little bit I love these cuz I want to get a couple these cookies But he's like yeah, man like I'll try to get over and when I went over there I was like a bunch of these and he got the wrong ones and I was like no, no man. I'm sorry It's like it's those right there and then he shitty kind of think about that and I gave him like a really good tip after that And then when I was like hey you guys have catcher brain these like he's like oh right away man

Let me get he's like the tune changes, and you're like, don't be a, that's almost come to your. If you tip somebody fucking crazy, that's a twat, it shakes them out of it. And they're like, fuck. I did it to the wrong person. I feel right now, I feel, I've felt that.

One time I had these two ladies barely spoken in English, and I was so busy, and all right check. And then they were like, Hey, can we get the check to go? And I'm in my head. I'm like, you're not going to fucking tip me anything. I'm in the weeds. Fuck here. Here's your fucking, you know, I was like, here's your check. But kind of shitty. They tip me so nice that when I picked that thing up, I was like, you asshole. Yeah, you feel like I was so I was like, yeah, it was a kid. The kid have glasses. Yeah, you feel like I was I was like yeah, it was a kid did the kid have glasses

Our guy yeah, that I can't there's oh No, it was a black dude. Oh Dice's kid works at canters. Do they work there really he works there. Yeah max. Yeah max They do comedy there. Yeah, and the kibbets room right in the back in the kitchen Yeah, no, you're doing comedy now. Yeah, not the fucking sidetrack everything We're having a fucking nice, nice roll. But we can all agree that it's not trash barrel. It's a fucking trash barrel. It's a trash can.

It's a trash barrel. It's a barrel. I can't believe you just walk around saying the word barrel thinking people are gonna know that you're talking about the trash. Krishi, let me ask you a question. Yeah, here we go. Say trash can.

Trash can. Now say trash barrel. Trash barrel. What do you feel better saying? Trash can. I tell you what, the first one sounds way less like she's a time traveler, Bobby I think it's an answer question. Trash travel barrel. I'm like how the hell did you get here from the year 1931? I think it's an answer question right Bobby You're like it might get hypnotized again

Christine the question was let me say it again say trash can trash can say trash barrel trash barrel What do you like saying more? Not what not what hits your ears better yourself barrels like a image me feel like I'm fat So say barrel again barrel say it again Say it one more time barrel Barrel see even more than three times and you feel nuts. No, it might not This is like Nate's joke about hammock, but I wouldn't you If you if someone came to me

keep going barrel barrel I go I don't know where you get a barrel. I don't know where to start to search. I don't know barrel type in trash barrel. We did it says hipster shit. Yeah, you can get a whiskey barrel made into a trash can if you're a hipster for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You said if you were a cave person, this was the case.

Garbage barrel. Garbage barrel. Garbage barrel. Garbage barrel sounds like you don't speak English and you are looking up a direct translation No, I'll say this. I'll say you bring me your garbage barrel. I resorts world There's a sports bar restaurant called the doghouse I just know that because I was there last weekend and What I noticed outside was because I had to throw a few pieces of trash away. I will say that all of the trash in that was

in a big barrel. They were in barrels inside the barrel, Dan. Trash can. There was a trash can inside the barrel. Yeah, but what is the main thing? Here's the real MVP. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is the main thing that it's in?

The barrel is decoration. What? The barrel's decoration. But the barrel is the... It's to spice up what's gonna be normally just a pile of trash. But you can't, but the barrel is the original trash barrel. And they put a can in it. Okay, fine.

You can do that. What do you call it at home? Trash barrel. But you call it at home trash barrel? But you don't have a trash barrel. I'm trying to get I do not have a trash. You're gonna get max bullied. No, I get max bullied in middle school. Men use barrels. You see a walk around going barrel and they're like, this is kid. This is kid river kid. Men use barrels. This is kid, you know, nonmen. You can't. This is a hobo. Who's a kid? You use a barrel? Listen, you use, when you go out, hey, take the trash barrels out.

I don't ever say that. What are you saying? That's crazy. You can't know Bobby. Now you're just saying no one says those words. Take the trash cans of the curb. I mean, that's just said across the board. Everyone says the same thing.

You go grab the barrels, take it out in a jiffy. Everyone says it. Everyone says that you take the barrels and then you jiffy them to the streets. I don't know what any of this is. Are you a street sweeper who speaks like this? Barrels, do you call packages parcels? Do Joe, my mom's ex-boyfriend, he started, he was a mailman for like eight months. Dude, he did it during this month. Eight months? Yeah, he looked like as a mailman for like eight months. Dude, he did it during this eight months. He looked like as a mailman for eight months.

That's a career choice usually. What was he, a crack addict? Just a hulk of shit. And dude, when he started taking it seriously. He was a police officer for a bail. I don't know, I did like a year and 10 to 10 days. I was a firefighter for three weeks. I thought one fire was again, I'm good.

When he started, I don't like this one bit. It was starting, dude, you got bit by a dog. Oh really? It eight months. Yeah, it was great. Was he a commercial for being a mailman? All I know is it brought me the most enjoyment the entire time we lived with him was watching him be miserable being a mailman in Denver and coming home that stupid outfit. Do he would? Yeah, you come home in the outfit. Your mom loved that outfit. She got banged at it.

Oh my God. She made him. You'd hear the rattling upstairs of the bed, the knocker and the sound of development mailbox keys. Right. Because the safari had over the lamp. Just saying, oh my God. So far, yeah.

Then I have to hear the role play. We go big package for Trish. Uh, you got a, you got a weird car parking your driveway with a steering wheel on the wrong side. Yeah, what is this Europe? He's dick and brown tape. He would, uh, he would, uh, he, when he started working for the post office, he would, he'd start taking it like super seriously. And he was like calling it parcels.

Right. He's like, so I'm, I'm dropping off parcels and I was like, what? That was the first time I heard that word. I was like, I got a parcel drop off. You be packages? He was trying to make it sound like, you know, he's like, I'm actually a parcel coordinator. I'm like, you're a mailman.

That was a one day. I mean, look, first of all, mailman of, it's a federal job. That's like being in the military. Yeah, I will never salute Joe. I'm not kidding, back in the day. But I will thank him for his service. I go thank you for getting me my sweatshirt.

I did eight months in outer suburb in area. I did eight months in zone four. Yeah, how much mail doesn't get delivered in Colorado. Yeah, just in the winter. Just lost. I'm telling you there's someone out there in the world that like I was with my newspaper route I didn't take that seriously at all They had to fire me from newspaper routes because I didn't realize how serious people really wanted their newspaper

They need their info. I was like when it doesn't show up. They're just gonna move on with their life. They're not the works I had a newspaper route for a week and I did Sunday, the Sunday paper. Remember the Sunday paper? Yeah, I think it was a big boy, dude. And you got a bag in yourself? You have to go to the place early and on Sunday you had to get the wheelbarrow because you couldn't put it in the bag because it was so big. The wheel can.

The wheel can. The wheel can. The wheel can. And I remember it was like a winter, like kind of mini storm, but it was very windy out. And I hit it, I went over the rarotracks and I hit the wheel fucked up and the thing tipped over and all the papers fell off and then got into like a little tornado around me. And I remember I was just crying with papers.

I was just in the middle. Like you're in a blizzard of bucks machine to put so much Saturn I had to put all the papers back together and then I had to go and deliver them But it took me like eight hours. I didn't get back until the afternoon Oh, and people just got chunks of the Sunday paper and then I got fired. That's yeah, that's where you got They fired you for that buddy. It was you can't fuck up the news here. People want it. Sunday paper I got the guy I got section D. I got arts and entertainment Why is that all I got? I got a three times. Oh my god. I would be bad. Three section. He's I would fire you

But if I did see that happen to you, I think I would inspire you to watch a child crying or To paper you just to be back to I'm having like a sense memory where the feeling feeling when you have to like wrap the papers up and put them in the bag Yourself and like the ink being on your thing. Oh, oh, I hate that feeling. I hate that feeling so much You know I'm talking about Jacob. It's like I delivered to it's like not it's like I don't know I don't know It was it was a service man I mean

Imagine being a guy working Five days a week and Sundays your day. You get up, you have coffee and that paper's out front and you're gonna go through it. Your wife's gonna get the coupons. You're gonna open up and look at the sports and look at the business and playing your week

and blah, blah, blah. And then you get it and it's all fucked up. And so, crying assholes walking up the street. I was fucking following the chain tracks and I got used to classified. So you were trying. So you were trying. You were trying really hard to do the right thing.

That same person who's missing their paper, if they saw what you went through, they'd be like, well, a kid took a rough one. What they would hate about me is that it was drizzling outside a little bit. As he watches me try to soccer, kick the pile of papers into the sewer with one shot. I never

took the twine off the stack. See if I could skid it right into the drain and I go home and be like, yeah, I delivered it. My mom's like, you're fast. I go, yeah, pretty smart for a fact kid. I'm watching you do that. That this guy going, hey, honey. Just, uh, you see the paper? Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding,

just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Ogris in and Dan Soder. We're back everybody. It's the bonfire. Faction Talk Series XM103, Big J. Ogris and Dan Soder. Bobby Kelly hanging out with us. It's got me cornered, dude. In this little...

It's our baby. Dude, he's coming. He's so aggressive. I'm not aggressive, dude. Just settle down, baby. He's touching me, dude. I'm not touching you. I'm caressing you. What is this? Isn't a 50s record label, dude? Get off me. It's a Faction It. I don't like it. He's touching me dude. I'm not touching you. I'm caressing you. What is this? Isn't a 50s record label dude get off me. I mean you affectionate. I don't like it. It's not because it's not real It's real. No, he's doing it as this fucking technique. No man. Let's listen to this one. Sun suit said caress your enemies listen to this noise

Everyone if you've read Sun suit, you know what method he's using on me Yeah, yeah, he's gonna drop a little drops in your forehead It's nothing is nothing hotter than a little dick van dig butt that Dan has But look at that little I'm all hips. Dan doesn't have coach. He doesn't have like a great ass or anything But he's got like a little roundy. Yeah, it's like a little hips like an island mom hit a little Chim-chim If I could have children I'd be popping them out dude. I have a bunch of little toe head-chim-chim-the-roo. If I could have children, I'd be popping them out, dude.

I'd have a bunch of little toe heads. Oh, you can't have kids? No, I can't. My uterus shut down. Yeah. You're right, though. I got a history of it. If it wasn't your big huge fat dick on the other end of that,

dude, you have a genus of now. You have a big ass fat. I would have a fuck. You ever think about how to pussy you would have a virillity? I know. Exactly what's happening. I would have a lot of room.

Mine looked like a fucking like a dying rose It would just be so much lip and pieces falling off. Oh, it's just like a fucking sleep and sleep and how Bobby, yeah, you're our guests today are good friends of both of ours. Can you? Can you when you want to give him an introduction? Well, why don't we let them introduce themselves? They got a fun one of the greatest bands out right now Generation Kill they're playing this weekend. Where you playing? Ding Bats. Ding Bats on Friday. Introduce yourselves, everybody.

I'm Rob Dukes. I'm Rob Jules. And they are from Generation Kill. They have two shows this weekend. Friday night at Ding Bats, which is what I call my wife. And Saturday night at New Haven, which is what Jay calls his wife the new Haven No, my wife the old Haven Christine's the new Haven Yeah, man fucking great song I love it. I love you guys. Yeah, you guys love the live shows You ever shoot your pants on stage? Oh, I did it. Oh my god. I'll continue. So I Serbia, right? Oh, that's a custom. That's actually a compliment there. Oh, I don't realize when in Rome. He's happy to be here.

Serbia, right? And they had served us like burritos, right? Earlier in the day. And everybody got sick. And I was I was, and I screamed and I just shit myself. When I'm on stage, I wear, you know, shorts no underwear because I don't want to do extra laundry and I hit the stage and my guitar player saw it and I looked at him and I was like, I just kind of kicked it off into the, into the little barrier area and I ran off the fucking stage

and you shit, you shit this off and he was laughing and then nobody knew what happened and I came out and admitted what happened and then later the other band and one of the guys in the hospital he had worms, they had served us dog meat that's why everybody got sick, I ate dog. When you shit was it is splatter or was it a drop in roll? No, it was like, about the time it was like a lot of bread and meat So in Europe so no veggie so it was like it was like a it was like a no get yeah

It was like yeah, you see that you kick that Yeah, damn dog meat dog meat dude. Oh, how was it when you ate it? Thought it was just regular. Max shit at an ice cream store. I mean a packed we're up at Lake George at one of the most famous ice cream plays where they give you the big tall dog ice cream. Now he found that it was dog ice cream from dog milk. It's dogs the whole time. It was made from dog milk. Everyone got sick. We're all eating ice cream and Max is sitting there. I look over a dawn and she bends down.

Max just shit and he fell out of his shorts. He's gone to the ground but it looked like it's good for everybody. She bent down and just stuck her cone in the shit and picked it up through it out and go we gotta go. I was like, whoa. Yeah, I mean, this is pretty genius. Yeah. I mean, she used her cone. But if anyone saw that, if anyone saw the cone. I'll click her, whoa. Yeah, I mean, this is pretty genius. Yeah, I mean, she used the her cone. But if anyone saw that, if anyone saw the cone. Quick or shake it or pick her up her. Hey, what the heck, you shit, this mom just picked her up with a cone or what, a fucking...

Hey, the poor guy was watching that holding his cone, just running down his hand, and he was like, I'm worried about him. He was like, Terry, what's wrong? I'm gonna go, I just saw something. Just picked the wrong day to get rum raisin. Oh my God, dude, don's the scooping throw. I'm gonna guess I just saw something just picked the wrong day to get rum raisin

Oh my god, dude don't the scoop and throw good. I've never seen I mean Fell out of his eyes start fall and then she just bent down pushed it picked it up through her's away grabbed him We're out of there and it was a second to mother's love dude a father would just go. It's like I'm just gonna move on I'll just try again. He's young enough. I'll just try again. Let's just go pick up your own shit boy Back up here Rob. Did you see in South America? They they wiped their ass with their hand there They have I remember we were in Peru and we were it was such a poor area But there was no it was what it was it was a little sink next to the hole in the floor, with water would come out and you would wash your hand and then yeah. Oh my God. You guys been to India. No. India is the same way. So we all were in the same bus going to

the venue and we stopped at like a light and we look at this four guys all staying on the street talking to one of Them as a pants Ryan is angles he's shitting industry while he's talking to these guys Yeah, there's no toilet paper anything. I mean if in the in the they have the same hole in the ground But they have like a little disherencer next to it. You know that kind of stuff in the So this guy's just in the middle of the strip and trout shit and while I talk There's a guy in India that he will go up to Taurus and he'll throw shit on your shoe.

And then another guy will do it. You got shit on your shoe. And then there's a guy over here who cleans shit off the shoe. It's a whole scam, that's what it's worth. That's what I wanted. So you go and you pay the guy. So he has like a spoonful of shit

and he just walks around and flicks it on your shoe. That's why I do it to me. I go, I like that. That actually is what I wanted. And he's like, my plan is buck fight. It's like shit's version of these fires that shit from the mom. Yeah, tell you what they deserve what they get. And I mean positively, I mean they deserve the money they get for that scam because the

guy who flings the shit, he, what's the better job like walking around with like a surplus of shit to flick to, but you're carrying around with like a surplus of shit to flick to but you're carrying around like a Canteen of shit to keep like spoon and thing down. He's yelling at his kids I told you I need the shit today. I need to practice my shit. I need to practice my spoon throwing I'm going to throw something or for the guy buffing out turds. Yeah, because if you miss that shit and you go Oh, it's on your shirt shirt my friend can't clean that I would rather be the guy clean the shit no I'd rather be a guy who I like the guy who goes dude There's a guy who cleans shit off of shoes. That's the guy. Oh, there's a third guy

There's a fourth guy you know there's a fourth guy who all he does is eat and shit and he's the fourth guy I need you to go make a source I feel the guy who shits also has to collect and I'm out on that too You're correct. I the person to be is that's the leader of the group That's the leader comes in and he goes all right. I'm just gonna come in and go like sir You guys show your shoes. I think there's a shit you cleaner over there. Yeah, you got basically you got to give him the Mono rail that's the guy but if you don't believe you gotta come in and be like why that looks like yes I don't believe you I don't you're not telling us what where is your

Business what business are you doing with your hands? Where did you where did you come from? I I'd melt down immediately. I'm working for the director shit I'm... I'm meltdown immediately. I'm working for the death of the shit. You have the shit shit clank as my uncle, I suck at this. I'm fucking terrible. Why did I try to do this? I was gonna be a doctor.

I was gonna be a doctor in Indiana. Oh no, this is another man has shit on his shoes on the street. Man, as you saw, dang it, sounds as if you are trying to rip me off by throwing shit and then directing me towards a friend who cleanser. You're very astute. I'm going to go to your shit cleaning friend because I need a shit cleaned off, but he is going to do it for a reduced rate because I have seen through your whole rules. God damn it, shake it. What about the shit thrower can't do the same guy two days in a row? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shit. What if you carried your own shit in India?

So then he did it you go you have shit on your shoe and then you go you have shit too. Oh like a Mexican standoff Everybody everyone's got shit on the shoe. Let's all go to your guy you gotta walk around with a screwing full of shit I'm gonna tell you right now Yeah, it just becomes that weird. Why don't you come close here. I got guy on every rooftop here with a bunch of shit. And you'll rain it down as you come home. I'll see what I'm thinking. If I would go, see that reflection.

I would just stack logs inside of an old school supersoaker that's just a big syringe and just crank it out the hole. See, this is a bazooka filter shit. Wait, what a little laser sight right now. Yeah, you see that? That's my friend up there. Really well. Okay.

Okay. Just wipe your shit hands off before you shake my head. I want you to take a look at my phone. That's drone footage. I'll strike this place. Every shot of my guess, a place is like that. I'm always like, indian. Now, like, I don't want to bathe with like, you know, like a Flintstone

with an elephant blowing water over my body. And then it'll sound awesome. And then it'll like, it's not like that, I'm always like India. Now, like, I don't want to bathe with like, you know, like a Flintstone with an elephant blowing water over my body. And then they're like, it's not like that. And then you hear these stories, like, sure it is. Yeah, it can be great and it can be horrible. Like Thailand was both. You know what I mean? It was both. Did you see Ari's dog over there? Well, you know, no.

Well, Thailand, Thailand, a lot like the men and women. They're all both. They're all both But when you were in Thailand, are you talking about like being in Bangkok and then going outside? Like obviously outside of the main city it was back to like yeah Well, I was playing at a club there a rock club and then we were staying at the like American hotel Yeah, as Americans it can be sure but as soon as I woke up in the morning I got out of the cabin left and went to like this, you know, bizarre crazy place for you Like Zimmerman who's there eating food. It was like eating whatever who fuck so cock fighting so they're like all sorts of Donkeys show look for it for four hours couldn't find it. Yeah

Donkeys show in the ping pong girl. That's what we were looking for. We couldn't find the pink No, it was like blade runner at night. Oh, yeah, it's like time square in the height At two three in the morning in Thailand. It's like blade runner dude. It's fucking what is it? What is it? What is a cock show? What I'm hoping it is cock fight is the two Jousting was a hot dog So when did they pull the penis? I thought I was helping. So when did they pull the penis? What are the chickens doing?

I wanted to caramel cock slap each other. And I'm gonna run at each other. I saw like, I like that you have tying those little blades. They put on the roosters though, tying around your dicks and you guys glum in. Yeah, a little bit. But they have the bats.

You could buy fucking anything. I almost bought a human skull turned into an asterisk. But I knew I was gonna get the custom. So I fucking didn't spend the money I'm gonna fuck a poor chip off it throw the microscope They go what what is this need go it's some business I took care of It was all jeweled as a skull cap and a helicopter Jimmy Hoffman what is that he goes that's the reason I came out here

Also the return the reason I'm returning a lot more calm and collected Also the return the reason I'm returning a lot more calm and collected. Let's just say a lot of problems. Peer it up on this trip. Dead, dead preteens tell no tales. Yeah. Damn, that's fucking wild. Thailand's a place I'd like to go, but then I, I, in my head, I want to go, but I would never go. Well, I know that Ari goes there.

I got seen people already. Yeah, Ari does. No, Ari's like, hey, I'm going to take a U boat down the fucking Danube. It's like to some place that you don't want to go. Yeah, Ari escapes like he's training to fight. Chad Daniels did it, he did China. Yeah, he did all that, all that. And it was weird too, is like,

like in Germany, Sweden, Norway, like in Europe, man, everybody speaks English to a level, right? Yeah. France they can, but they choose not to. But Thailand, it's a hit or miss. Like it can be like, nobody knows what the fuck you're saying or everyone does, which is weird. So being a comedian would be a little harder than being a musician,

because they can just mouth along with their, you know, what they know. I say, Stad, any country that has ceremonial masks. That always just means problems. You know what I mean? Some kind of a sacrifice or a freaky god that needs something naked to happen. Or a rich overclass that has orgies. Yes, you know, because we have mask traditions who's wearing a bird mask at an eyes wide shut party.

God damn, that is. The worst is AK-47s pointing at you with a fucking shaky dude. Who weighs 45 pounds, like four or five. I mean, you're all standing there and they got your passports and they they're like one guy And you just pay the money and then they they pulled us over dude. It was it was fucking Why I said when I talked

Corn when I was on that with them and they said that same thing they help regular is it all bands know this to the go Not if you go on a rush. Yeah, like a bunch of you just there's a much place He goes always places like in the budget of the tour is paying off guys with guns, paying off guys with guns when you land because they're going to say you can't take your equipment. They're going to all things that aren't true. You can't take all this, but they're just going to say, we're saying you can't because they're all just like thugs. Yeah. So it was money, but like in like like Bosnia and Serbia and all that the world part of the world was always they just wanted t-shirts We're like fuck yeah take the shirts man fuck here's tell box of that's fucking wild

They pulled us over in the guy said hey your headlights out and then he smashed it With a porcies like porkeys do you Right and then was like you know be 200 and we just said, we've got shirts or 200. We're like, what do you want? I want shirts and things. Really? Yeah, that was like, they light up. I love rock.

You should've took shit and threw it in a shoe, go look. We have a guy in the back. I'm gonna get it cleared up. I got the guy with the machine gun that watched you do that. Got a bass player that'll buff that out in two seconds. We thought we were gonna get kidnapped and Columbia that time and got pulled over at just a few.

Well, we were just like, we're all in his van and then dude we didn't know the promoter was like no he's gonna drive you and he drove for like 45 minutes an hour just pulled over and just got out and left us in the car. We're like well we're gonna throw a trend so we're gonna just run out of dude you know if they come out. I really if I'm gonna get kidnapped in South America I'm gonna try to tell them that I snore. I like before I snore I snore before you guys do to tell them that I snore. I snore, I snore, I snore, I snore.

Before you guys do this, just know that I snore. Really loud, none of you were gonna sleep. Snore, snore, snore, snore, snore, snore, snore. Snore, snore, snore. Okay. We got stranded in China. The protor just was like, fuck you. We got in a car and left.

Why? And we didn't, he didn't want to pay us the rest of the money, you know what I'm saying? Damn, it was the guy from Green Jello. Cause I don't see him arguing stuff like that. Now, it was, it was, I think it was just, what part of China? What's the mean, what's the mean?

Beijing? Not that one, the other one. Hong Kong? No. Oh, sorry. No, it's one of the up here, we were way up there. Dubuque? No. Yeah. China, China city one of the up your seat. We were way up there the buke We didn't have anybody the sharpener left we had no interpreter. We had nothing we were outside the airport We're all our gear and we're like fuck and it was us and

What was the band I think it was it wasn't it wasn't an old cunt it was that's great not that time I think it was rotting Christ and it was we're also ten dudes are fucking standing there with lock but it all we ended up getting on a plane and getting us out of there and what's crazy is because of how metal guys look you guys just look like black water you look like they're just a bunch of mercenaries that drop off. Even when you're nervous and uncomfortable and scared, they think you are the problem. Yeah.

They go, look, there's a Delta Force here. We can really use some help. Oh, I'm nervous. Russia was scary. Russia was a... What was the scariest place you guys had been? The constant Tetris blocks from. Mine was...

Mine was... It was... Damn, front. Outside... Outside Ricefe and Brazil. Tetris Blocs flying was mine was it was um Dairfront outside Outside Reseife in Brazil and um we got stopped in the middle and that's when they had to like three guys were 8K 47s Just point not us fucking shaken like they were scared All just like dude what the fuck like you know a lot in Brazil in the morning me and Patrice got pulled over in Brazil Because he had a hooker in the back seat

The rule was you can't take a girl you have to put a girl if you're gonna go to the hotel You have to put her in a separate cab because they have roadblocks all the time and they look for Talk like Americans with a Brazilian girl and they pull you over and they shake you down and He she got in the car and I was like Patrice. She's got to go and he's like Bobby She. She just shut the fuck up I go Patrice I'm not getting fuck and we started screaming at each other and I'm like dude You're she's like but he keep but it's he can go on Patrice though fucked up a couple times in Brazil Which do you guys ever get taken advantage of by the kids like didn't he I was with them He bought a bunch of kids like No, he went down to the first day and we give these kids money

He doesn't really would surround him like Willie Wonka Because he always wanted to be the mayor something But they said the guy who was like running like whatever you guys are doing that or the guy from the resort goes Everyone in the car right now like you can't do that These kids are gonna go tell older people. This is what happened. He we were at the club help a in this a little cafe I wasn't there. I think I can speak on this Bobby I heard this third hand so maybe let me handle this on a podcast You go, you take it away.

Yeah, we were out front and he got annoyed with the kids because they were up his ass. They wanted food or whatever. And he was like, no, get away. He kind of was rude to me. He was, get away as soon as he did that they went to the older kids. So now we're walking. We had two blocks back to the hotel from the club. And this kid, I'm talking, dude, he looked like, I mean, just a UFC fucking fighter. He ripped his shirt off, he go,

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do screaming at us and he's taking clothes off as he's following us and he's screaming at the trees and I might just keep walking, keep walking. He's like, Bobby, I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen. I might just keep walking. So we're trying to, we don't want to run because we felt like it was a lion if you run to yeah, so we're trying to just he didn't know Where we were going we thought and we just made it to the hotel and the security pushed us and stepped in front of him

And started yelling at him really we got on the hotel right in the nick of time and then we had to hire people Like we hired a guy like an FBI type guy to be with us Every time we went out we had a hire this guy and we had a hire a fellow a favela guy to be with the two guys Who is every night to protect us cuz fucking the mayor of Brazil? Just give kids a bunch though. We couldn't go anywhere after that. Please take us everywhere Well, I couldn't go anywhere. I got we were walking out of street in Mexico City and we had to stop and the promoter was like, oh, I gotta give this guy 200 bucks for the cartel here, so we can go over there.

We wanted to go to this like a flea market kind of thing and we had to pay. All right, but we always had, we always had. Yeah, they pulled us over with the hooker and they had the guns on us with the fingers on the trigger. Yeah, and shaking. I was like, is it that fun in Brazil? It was worth it Yeah, I would I would I would have took a beheading like

One of us got beheaded it was a hundred percent Thanks for listening don't forget that the bonfires a radio show a full show We got a studio and everything. You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer.