The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bonfire Context (feat. Greg Warren)

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

Greg Warren learns about the show and gives advice to listeners!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okreson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big. O'Cerson and Robert Kelly. Take this job and shove it.

I ain't work any hit on home. I just thought this song was funny. I don't mean it. I just thought it was fun. It's comedy shows too. I don't mean it at all. Why would you say that song? You know we forget to describe?

I want to give our guests a proper intro. So I want to say this first. You know what? Let's introduce them first. Ladies and gentlemen, on the Bud fire, we have Greg Warren. Greg Warren's new special. The salesman is available now on Nate Land YouTube channel.

That's Nate Pagazzi. Yes indeed. Produced your special. Did he direct it to yeah? Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah Nate Park gots his comedian. Yeah With producer money. Yeah director money. Yeah, he's got both He's got both he's doing all right. You know, I was with him when he drove me to he was opening for a college and his Underneath this car a piece fell off We were stopped at a gas station, he just put it in his trunk.

That's the Nate, I know. Yeah. I'm like, you sound like me when I talk about Kevin Hart. I'm always like, you know, he had to put his electric bill in my name once because he couldn't afford his electric bill. He's kept, who's Kevin Hart? He's a, he's a world renowned comedian and actor and entrepreneur. I think he owns a golf island

cost the sport for old whites We have to be very detailed. Yeah, I feel great. I mean, I'm with you the whole way You guys haven't left out anything again. This is Greg Warren. He has a special out right now It's called the sale if you're just joining us now. Yeah, he's around five. I'm not gonna lie to you that laugh set us back if you're just tuning in now Greg Warren's got a new special the salesman available right now on the land YouTube page But I forgot this one big Jim it's our boss outside What was he broke that a thing goes and so He was saying what the cum scroll idea we had we played a fake

commercial for a novelty funny thing we made for Jacob okay a scroll that you put over your body and it's got point systems on it when you jerk off to joke it's gag gift we made fake commercial for kind of a shuffleboard type yes we made a fake commercial for it and we started the show with it After we had our like whatever intro song we chose that day to come into And then uh, which I don't I have a feeling Jim things we play the opening song too long always Because the subtle way he said that was Like the other day I turned on the show and all I heard was five whole minutes of a song and then a commercial for something

I didn't know about and the thing I had no fucking idea what was going on that show We did not describe it we really did go into it. We don't describe it. You every note We did it. I'm sure is completely correct Yeah, stop nodding your head you fucking company bitch You in on it fucking you are there. You were in the scene. I bet Jacob's the one feeds in the information and then he goes check his phone. Let me check your phone.

You told you don't decide it was. Let us see your text messages to Jim. He's from the heart. Jim might be a patsy for your bullshit. Greg, you can do it on a very special day. Probably our last day. Yeah, you guys got a rat here and there's definitely a stool pigeon in the show. Yeah, and we think Jim, our boss, is not around anymore.

It's actually Dan Soda. Yeah, it could be Dan Soda. Oh, so does one of this thing now? As Jim. I got you. Dan Soda was the old host of the show. Familiar with Dan. If you're just setting for the audience.

If you just two Dan's, Dan Soda used to work on the show. Yeah, and this is a Greg Warren is here. Yeah, salesman, new special available in the England YouTube right now. How's it going, man? It's going great. Yeah, it's awesome. It's going good. It's nice to see you guys, man.

How long in New York for? Leave tomorrow, but I got here on Sunday. And it's been a good, good run. You're a family man? No. Not at all. I mean, I'm in favor of him. I got to get out and get some, but I'm eight families.

Yeah, yeah. I think you were running home to, but it's Memorial Day this year. Yeah, I got nobody. Yeah, you got no, you look like, you said that because he looks, he looks like a husband. I do, man, man, it's funny you say that. I've gotten that, like, that I look married and I don't think it's like a compliment.

No, it is a car. I don't know, man. You look like a man. You look like a man. You think so? Yeah, me and Jay have like Louis Vuitton bags. We look like we have cats. We have girlfriends.

You have like some college shirt on. You got nice forearms. Do you fight or you you a fighter to me? I'm sure you know a coach. You're a wrestler right? I mean very long time ago. Yeah, you did back in the day, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can tell you. Yeah, you're a strong man. I can't I don't think so anymore. Am I hitting on you? What's going on? I'm trying to throw a compliment. I'm telling you we're shell-shock today. He's a Bobby's trying to show his interview skills. I'm watching what he's doing. So tell me a little about that.

But you're a different kind of guy. You know, guys like you don't really grow on trees, you know, you're a unique in defense. It's fucking mind boggling what's happening. I'm stunned. I was drawn in by it. I'm stunned. I was about to confess some things.

I was like going to say some things. I've never told people. Well, just a hair. I'm so focused. He goes, that's interesting. Tell me a little more about that. What walked me through this, Greg? When I say Greg, you look like a husband.

What I mean physically, your hair is short. You have a very square jaw. You look like the greatest generation type of guy. For the people listening, just so you know what I'm seeing. Now you see it. Yeah, okay, man. Yeah. Yeah, that might be good for me if you're getting that out there.

You have a girlfriend? No. Nothing? No. I just said earlier, I got, I, man. Yeah, yeah, that might be good for me if you get that out of it. You have a girlfriend? No, nothing. No. I just said earlier I got I have nobody nothing nothing. Wow. Yeah. No, you don't even like fool around. I mean, I have. Yeah, I have. It's been a while, but yeah. Wow. How long since let's have me get laid? That's a long time, man. Years? Getting on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it religious? No, I have no is is void of religion actually. That's a long time, man. Years? Getting on that. Yeah, yeah. Is it religious?

No, I have no, is void of religion actually. Yeah, it was brought up with that religion. Maybe you need to find Jesus. Maybe I'll give it a god and give him some push. To get laid. Yeah, okay. You've got to get these a push. Look what you do with the Catholic priests.

I mean, they even got them some stuff. Yeah. What they like, whatever they're thing is. It's just easier. Ha, ha, ha. So you don't look forward after shows at all or anything? Or? I don't know, man. like whatever their thing is. That's just easier. You don't look forward to after shows at all anything or? I don't know, man. I mean, I'm tired.

Sure. I'm 54, you know, like, I mean, especially doing the late show now, there's about three days of the month when it seems like a really important thing to me. And those aren't always the opportune times. Yeah, they're not show days. Yeah, there's like three days are Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 20 21 I think I started late at the I it's with the specials I sold So peanut butter for 10 years out of college. What kind Jeff? Yeah, yeah, it's what do you get? Did you get free peanut butter? Yeah, oh yeah, man. Yeah, I mean, I tell you the best thing I ever got was I love it Jay when you laugh now that probably gives the hard-h love it. Jay, when you laugh now, the, Bobby, you used the hard hit in question. Yeah.

Did you get free peanut butter? Yeah, you got right, you got right to it. Well, that's a fact I question. That's the fact I am. Yeah. Man, Jay, when you laugh now, you get nervous that you do the gonna come out because you try to catch him.

I really do. You do. You laugh, you go, huh? You close your mouth. Well, you stop, I mean, it's not like they gave us cases of peanut butter, but when I was in the office, you could just get it. Whenever there's new items, they came out of this thing called GIF sensations.

I don't know why it didn't last. It's the greatest thing I've ever eaten in my life. It was like chocolate GIF. Wow. And raspberry GIF. I mean, I ate so much, it was in the office. I just ate so much of that stuff. Wow. And it didn't go, man, I still don't know why. My one regret. I didn't figure

behind jiff since I should. I should have believed in it like the guy with the Jordan, the Nike thing. You know, it's funny. Trunky. Do you see that movie? No. I saw it. The referee. Yeah, air is a good good. It's great man And you could have been mad Damon of jiff. Well, let me first of all I believed as much as he did Okay, but I wasn't in a position of power like he was. I mean, I was a little I was middle management Really? Yeah, he's about Michael Jordan's getting his first Jordan do mostly the Nike guys. Yeah, it's my Nighty company Nike is a shoe to famous shoe was a famous converse was famous adidas is the big one Jacob every time I do good he gives me a proving like smile not he goes you're doing it. I have I have it

I haven't got one yet Nox is jigger he looked at me when I said that I go airs the Michael Jordan movie it's on primer now and jigger win one sentence Yeah, like you should do like he's proud of you. We should have Jim and take a win. One sentence. Yeah, like you should do. Like he's proud of you. We should have Jim. What we should do is we should have Jim listen.

And when he taps out that he should just text us, go, I'm out. So we know where we're. What he told us is six minutes. You can understand he we're talking about. How big of a boss is Jim? He's big, big, big. He's big, big Jim.

He's big Jim. I said next this guy named Jim one time on a plane who was the big like the CEO of this place. Can't be that big. Jim Myers. You said next. I said, Jim Myers, he gave him his card. We thought he was a good guy.

We still have it. Can we call him? Can you call him? I might have it. I don't know. It was a long time ago. Jim Myers a Pipsqueak in this business compared to Jim McClure. Jim Myers wishes he was Jim McClure.

I think that's JL. He's a no the corporate hierarchy a little better than you do. I'm sorry. I know it all. But yeah, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure.

I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure.

I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. I was like, I'm not sure. You did it. You're doing it. You're doing it. You're doing it. You look to have a camera and Jim watching listening to the show. No. No, it'd be just what just to see is not.

Ender's level rise and fall. No. Yeah, what do we do? It's like a black and white thing of him like reading a book and how many times he goes, he puts it down and listens. Yeah, what are you crazy? You think I need? I had a guy called me not Dan. I don't I'm good. In the spirit of like explaining what's going on or everything. Yeah. I'm good. In the spirit of like explaining what's going on or everything, I thought you were acting on the listening

as Jim was extremely good. You guys can't see that right now, but like he actually acted like he was looking up from the book listening and it was Oscar worthy. I didn't realize what a farly physical comic I am. Yeah, you are. I thought I was more words, but it turns out, you really gotta see what's happening in here

to work out for you. Yeah, we need cameras in here. We used to have cameras, little contexts. We were with Tommy Central Radio, we had camera team. And then we said, you know what, we need more cameras. We got to film more stuff, and then they fired the team altogether. They fired the video team.

That was a response to we should have more videos. And then dead left and not Dennis here now. Hi, how you doing? Hey, when? If you're just joining us, we have Greg Warren, the salesman now available on the land YouTube. Also, you're probably saying to yourself, Greg, well, this I see these several 4K cameras in here. Right. We could probably get a video element going now. Nope. I don't think anybody who works here knows how to work them exactly. They're right. I think they're on. They're all on right now. They're just not pointed at anyone. They're not covering anything in the room. No. Where'd you suit the special act, Greg? Lexington, Kentucky. Where they make GIF.

Is that really where it's from? Yeah, the North American Jeff plan is in Lexington. J, good question. That was a good question. Thank you. That was a fucking good question. I thought it was good. I thought it was good.

You know what I was gonna say before about Jeff was a chunky Jeff, my favorite, with the basically full peanuts in it. I was like, that's the thing as I got older though, things like that, I gained a taste for more. Like when I was younger, I's the thing as I got older though, things like that, I gained a taste for more. Like when I was younger, I would have thought chunky peanut butter was disgusting. Now I would love it. I didn't like pulpy, orange juice when I was younger,

couldn't do it at all, but now I got a pulpy orange juice, it's fine. Man, you know, I was in the orange juice business too. Really? Yeah, we sold Citrus Hill, which I don't know if you guys know that. Anybody familiar with that? I do know that. Citrus Hill was a brand. Guys, everything that you see in Orange used today, we introduced. Like, like, you

know, remember, it used to be like a cardboard, like a cardboard carton. Yeah. And to open it, you had to unfold the top and it was like slimy. And then somebody put that screw top on the side. It was us. That was us. That was us. The plastic jug. Were you in the war room for any of these things? No, no, I was, I was a foot soldier. But you're frontlines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, I was, rubber meets the rope. You know, you're going to the 3D, you're a tether in Knuckles, Joe. What was your guys Normandy? I'll tell you probably, our Normandy was when Frito A. came at Pringles

with their own version. That was when, because I sold Pringles too, and they, you know, they got- Is that the Moncho? No, so the Moncho's a, come on man. Moncho's a- Was it the pop? I'm gonna politely disagree with you.

Moncho is niche niche brand. I enjoy a bunch of you and I love I'll tell you but Pringles are my favorite potato shit really yeah good for you buddy for sure I got you some if I didn't own that I appreciate that and by the way the most basic I like Plain Pringles are the best but you and 80% of the 80% of the users It was it was 80% was out sour cream It's a number two sour cream and I was so good sour cream and then you as a number two Peat's delicious pretty strong flavor Take that's now that's what you start losing me at those at pizza kids thing combos made that mistake to you're getting

You're out there on the fringe now combos combos is a big pretzel with cheese inside thing. This is the bonfire. It's the bonfire. Let me tell you a little secret post that Jay, part of the reason they do that is they want to have a bigger presence on the shelf. So if you walk up and you only have one flavor, you don't see it. So they have some of these unnecessary flavors and you have the, yeah, you'll, yeah, you'll go. Greg Lauren is on the show. He's a comedian also the inventor of the

screw top orange juice. You've been from Scrooze up orange juice. Yeah. The plastic jug fortifying orange juice with calcium. And we also the plastic container for the GIF. All Greg Warren's ID's got a new special salesman out right now it is six nineteen oh my gosh six nineteen I was good I was good

We got about 30 minute delays coming in and out of the Holland If you're just tuning in Jacobs having a drink Jacob is the producer of the show. The producer of the show is the Bonfire Faction Talk series XM. Blacklood just had a sip of his drink. I think he's drinking beer. Damn. Really?

Yeah. Absolutely. You have a beer on the job. How long have you been friends with Nate? I mean, I think at first met him, we did like a country music television thing together. All right. Back in the day, he was just like a kid. And I was like, oh, this guy's good. Was that chubby Nate?

I didn't think he was chubby. I never thought he was chubby, man. It's the look back, but if you look back and see all the Nate was like a little chubby face. He looks, he's so handsome. I always thought it was a good look. Yeah, Nate would look like Hannah Gatsby back in the day He's he's real thin now, and he's yeah, he's gorgeous now, and he look at Hannah Gatsby beard. It's Hannah Gatsby

That beard does him well Yeah, it's so funny. I just knew Nate at this time. I didn't seem like that's what he looked like. Yeah, I mean I know my flashback memories not with him of the beard, but like almost like the same face I see now. Yeah. It is interesting. Yeah, then I, I mean, he opened for me maybe once or twice, you know, and then, then he, you know, our career's diverged.

I was gonna say he's opened for me a couple of times too, but it's like, now when I call him and off from the gigs, he doesn't want to do it. Like Nate, you want to open for me at WISE, guys, in Vegas. What do you mean you're doing the Bellagio three exclusive nights? You've lost your way, bro. Yeah, yeah, man.

You're not that old Hannah Gatsby Nate, I fell in love with when you're putting your car parts in your trunk, your piece of shit. No, Nate's been awesome. He's been, he directed yours also. Yeah, yeah, he did a Vecia on Mike's such a great special man Yeah, Joe Zimmerman he did one four two. You're in great Co-op me over there. Actually directing is he like behind the care you doing he was there man

I mean that was another reason why did it in Lexus cuz That's the right answer by the way At full conversations with Nate while he was directing Mike Vekia special. Now he is, Nate's definitely doing it, but like he does have somebody there to like, he makes a camera guy. He's gonna make sure you're not like, no, I'm not even a camera. I think he has like a director, a director of some sort of assistant director who probably has a little more experience in him. He had like smart on the edit. He had like two notes and obviously it's I was gonna do whatever he said and they were really, really good notes. And I like, he had like two notes and obviously I was going to do whatever he said and they

were really, really good notes. And I was like, he didn't have much to say about it. It kind of let me do what I wanted to do with it. Do you tell you every five minutes, six minutes or so in your special that you should recap everything you've said because somebody might just be joining? Man, he didn't and I think that's where this thing... So I'm starting to think maybe Nate's not a great producer. Yeah, man. Yeah. And I think that's where this thing something maybe Nate's not a great producer

Not if they're listening to the joke if they're watching it. He's fine 866 966 999 It's the bonfire with big Joe Kusin and not Dan. That is right everybody 23 past the hour We're gonna get into a full metallic a rock block here in a second man a rock block I bet you Memorial Day is like Memorial Day weekend is fine rock block season man oh yeah we had the Memorial Day 500 in St. Louis they count down the top classic rocks top 500 classic rock songs yeah every year man Depplin and Layla I I think, went at it. If you're gonna do that now, there's those things that are just all over Pandora.

Look at me being a company boy. Yeah. Pandora in affiliation with serious ex-em. Jacob is smiling. This is probably where our next show's gonna be. Look at you, look how proud he is. Look at those pearly whites looking at me. Big Jim didn't even mention Pandora.

So the fact that you just brought that up that's what you mean they're gonna let me come next Tuesday it's even bigger that you're bringing up stuff he didn't even bring up fuck makes me happy Jake good job I'm fighting you guys fired by saying something about regular radio no no we're all fired before you came here okay no I had nothing to do with you but I'm taking everyone with me. Jacob has child porn in his song. Jesus Christ, Jack. I mean, she's 15, but it's child porn. I know it's totally legal in some places, but not that cool.

Is your special out right now? Yeah, that's awesome. And how's it doing? It's doing great. Yes, it's not that cool. Is your special out right now? Yeah, that's awesome. And how's it doing? Is it doing great? Yeah, it's doing really good. Are you a clean comic? Yeah, I mean, I wasn't probably 10 years ago, but I was never really that dirty. Was that a decision you made for

to make more money or for something? Yeah, you know, like I kind of, I was trying to get on TV, you know, like trying to do late night stuff. And then so I was like always close and then Jack actually here at Sirius was like, Hey man, you're too close to being clean to not be clean.

Jack Vaughn is one of the top guys here at Sirius. Nah, fuck I'm gonna miss him. Yeah, I love Jack. I'm gonna miss Jack the most. He's one of my close friends. He's your friends, he's got the look you in the eye and he lets you go. Look in the eye, he's probably not gonna of my close friends. He's your friends. Look at the army let you go look in the eye

He's probably not gonna talk to me again. That's probably it make Jim do it's a K.A. Dan soda Jim just comes in like the enforcer He dropped the hammer So he said you he said he told you to be cleaner. He just said it. I was probably being stupid But not not being all the way neat make more money Jack. Oh Jack. you make, I mean, they play you more on serious, I mean, yeah. No, Nate will tell you also the benefits of being clean. It was just like, he has such a new end mic, both our comics who like, have an ability to be clean without the noticeable thing being they're being clean.

There's so many comics who are clean and that's like, they're known for like, hey, it's so and so funny. They're clean. I hope people won't say it now and not some saying, it's like funny, it's important. I like, it's funny though, because you get a lot of people, you know, look, come up to this. Older people are like, you know, clean comedy, that's done like, just, I, some of my favorite comics are filthy. Like, yeah, it's just the different kind of comedy as all. It's just different. Yeah, but it is like a relief. Sometimes I'm dirty, but sometimes you do a show on a weekend and you have somebody walking

out or someone saying shit. It's almost like if I could be clean, it would be just a relief to go out, kill clean and have everybody just like, good job. You know what I mean? Like nobody be offended. Even last night at the pussycat. You know, I said something and you saw some lady's face just turned.

She was having a good time and then I, I know what it was, just turned and looked at a boy and went, no. I'm gonna look for you. I applaud that audience. I call a lady right in the front, a girl with her boyfriend and her mother. And she had wolf and armpits in the front row and I made it a real thing.

Yeah, I had to go up and repair that. Did you? I had to go over, I love her armpits. Yeah, I do. No, no. Buddy, listen to me, this thing you don't know about me for context. I don't listen, I never did like them. And then years ago.

Did like what? What if someone just joined in that sentence all right back in the day I didn't like it when I was just a comic what is it the hairy armpit you have to say that every single time What time is it Jay? It is a 627 Cool 62 627 I tell you that cool 62 outside of the room. We send past the hour. That's nice brisk 62

I'm ready to feel like it on maybe today if you want to save a little gas walk home from work I like that right there. That's not I that's not bad to me. It is though. I don't mind it I don't mind it that I don't I mind that looks like somebody they're both disgusting This doesn't even look like real hair that I mind scrolls is crazy. That one's not bad to me. All right, right there, I don't mind that. That woman's a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, scroll that out. Because she's celebrating them. Yep. And the other ones aren't. No, they're all pieces of shit. They're just scumbag. Oh, yeah. I don't like that one.

Just go with that. Just check yourself. I like that. No, that's the fucking you like that. Come on. That's too much. That's too much. That's too much. You can be sad and hairy. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's not bad. It's Bobby. It's really, really bad. See, are you telling me, Jay, that there was a girl with a with a boyfriend sitting there with Harry armpits in the front

row? Yeah. And by the way, I'm not and I'm not exaggerating. a girl with a with a boyfriend sitting there with Harry armpits in the front row of the show. Yeah, and by the way, I'm not and I'm not exaggerating. Why Bob? I believe so I don't know if Bobby really had to have to had to repair it, but I will tell you for sure the boyfriend does not, I expose that boyfriend is not into it at all. But you could tell that she the daughter was a complete like she's doing it. She was 25 now. It was like her strong woman bullshit wound dance nonsense. His sister was to your left. I found out that all the girls to your left. His sister was one of them. That was all friends. And she didn't like the one that said she shaves her asshole. The one to the left. Yeah. Yeah. Oh wait, to the left. yeah oh wait to the left now I'm wrong you're talking the right

this the one to the left was the boy friend's sister and she didn't like the Harry armpits either I can't even give you background context in this I don't know what these people story is we're talking about people in the audience last night me last night Jay came down I do a thing at the pussy cat every Tuesday night. Oh, yeah, pussycat is the comedy seller. It's a well-known comedy for New York for context for people. And by no, twarmin and operated by a testy, a nasty twar job or something. I can't even name it. S.D.

I don't know. I am. So anyways, I do a show that every Tuesday night at seven o'clock seven eight I run my I'm a show what if someone just start on that show I am a stand-up comedian for the last 30 years and I have a special that Louis CK directed on Louis CK .com it I do my show in J last night who is Louis CK? Louis CK the Scrazed. Louis CK. Louis CK. The Scrazed comedian Louis CK. I was just standing in from five years ago. He's just Louis CK comedian. Don't even think about the rest of it. He said, but he came down last night and did a set

before me. He went on and did like 15 minutes or so before me to run his new jokes. And they were good crowd. They're the do all right. They were fine. Yeah. It was a, but that armpit lady, the boyfriend did not enjoy fine. Yeah, it was a but that armpit lady the boyfriend did not enjoy it Well, it's funny because she didn't raise she kept her arms tight to her side for the rest of the show. Oh, yeah Yeah, you whatever you said to her I started calling her at one point. So I just calling her pits. I just started referring to her as pits You did the Lord's work. I really did hopefully I shamed her into changing for the better Yeah, she saw a couple of commercials on TV. Yeah, and was in Florida Lord's work. I really did. Hopefully I shamed her into changing for the better.

She saw a couple of commercials on TV and was in Florida. You know what you're talking about? That Amazon one, the girl just accepts her mustache and unibrow, like a trash pig that took all the other. Just unloved garbage. It took like four ugly, famous people put them together in one face. That commercial. It really is. Yeah. Yic.

I was with a girl once who had it, a prostitute. Harmpits? Yeah, but she did a slide thing on me. She gave me a massage, you know what a slide is, right? With a oil there body up and they oil your body up and they just slide all over you. And they don't really touch you, but the oil your body up and they just slide all over you and They don't they don't really touch you, but it's kind of sexy and they just slide. It sounds stupid It was odd it was hot Greg you ever get a massage where a girl wrote on you naked you got to wax off before right?

We all have come on everybody here every one of us in here is a king guy is not gonna talk about getting jerked up yeah you're promoting an album don't talk about the talk about it just give me a stop that one a questioning hand no that i was agree i said yes sliding there it is right now the stuff that look that's why that slide massage right there she's she's attractive

yes she was i mean the girl is attractive she was a of french-Canadian girl and she's slide she gave me a slide massage, which was really sexy, but she had hairy armpits. And I didn't mind it. I actually, I thought- I reminded for you. I didn't, I didn't mind it. With this, do you, is there oil?

Let's go. Oh, yeah. That's all, I know on yours, but I don't see it. Yeah, no, I do. This oil, yeah. Did you feel her box? You don't hear lower back?

Yeah. I sold oil too, by the way, Chris go. How many lives did you have? No, this was all one company, man. It was all, I don't mind a product. You had a line of products, you had to go sell to somebody. Yeah, you had a grocery store.

So you had to go to a store and sell it like a shoe or a vacuum, like, hey, try this product. I mean, you're making it sound very simple, but it's a, I don't know. I'm sorry, I mean, no, no. I would go to the grocery store and yeah, you're making it sound very simple, but it's a level. I'm sorry. I mean, no, no. I would go to the grocery store and yeah, you would kind of convince them like you got to put these new items like new flavors or new

sizes and then you got to, you try to get them to display it, secondary display, you try to get them to... So it's like albums. Albums back in the 80s. Like sure. You would have to go to tower records or something and you'd have to put this album up in front. So orange juice, certain orange juice.

Sure. Tower records is a now the fun record store. Are they out of business? Hey, saying what I'm saying, records were actually this thing that you used before digital music. You had actually buy a record at a record store. And then the music is.

It's 6.33. Yeah, music. buy a record at a record store and then the music is uh... six thirty three you have the uh... a madman vibe to you what i said you said you said you know it is a shit out of stuff yeah the paper you're a man you're a man you got a man vibe jake is so worried about being proud of the small changes i've made that he didn't hear you say that exact same thing bobby yeah that you said don draper the small changes I've made that he didn't hear you say that exact same thing, Bobby. Yeah.

Didn't you said Don Draper? Oh, I said 1950s. We knew what he meant, though. I mean, which is the show. You knew what he meant. That is the show. You knew what he meant. Yeah.

God. Hams from my hometown. Ham. John Ham. Oh, I thought you meant Draper. Cause we had a ham party. I mean, oh, sorry. His ham party can you explain that yeah, please

Party is a party we're thinking about throwing and I got to be honest with you We have to just so for fun because it is very visual We are not good at describing things. Yeah, it'll be me Bobby DJ Lou and the like you know pink body Fancy you have to be big you kill you Jacob can't come you We're gonna go somewhere humid dance around yeah over Throw some glitter. There's gonna be a ham there and it's just like our wicked thing And the biggest thing we off the word genes with a top button unbutton yeah Yeah, no shirts and then we have a pinnata with sparkles in it

No shirts, but no No good bodies left no no good bodies and we have to we hit we have to sweat first Yeah, and then we break the pinnata so the sparkles go over your body and then there's a trampoline with frozen peas on it But that's that's the year there is ham though And he's on it, but that's that's that's the air. That's a clear there is ham though. Oh, yeah There will be a lot of ham like a a ham like a honey baked ham or we know we've ever made the decision But it could be anything why you gotta sell us one Well, I would I I don't I was in a ham business, but I would say if you're gonna get a ham get a honey baked ham I mean that's especially with sort of the theme what you guys are talking about make it decadent

I think you're right. It's a good you are a piece of meat. I like to spiral him. You can just kind of pull. Yeah man. Yeah. I think that there's spiral honey baked ham. I think there is. So I think we solved that problem. Well, spiral honey baked ham. I don't know. It's a problem. How are we going to pay the KOA fees when we have no job? You want to get more connections at Cisco or anything that we get a hand proctor and gamble Can we get you hook us up with a hand? I mean, they're not in the hand business actually they divested all their food brands so yeah, they're out good word Devested more. I don't even know what it means, but it sounds like I read of it

Like if I want to use it in a sense you and Jane may be divested you and Jay may be divested. Oh, we're divested. We're divested, are we? You mean Jay and not Dan. Oh, as in they are not investing in us anymore, and we are now being divested. Divested, divested. Then it all adds up, everybody.

It is 36 past the hour. What? 62 and sunny outside. Everybody hope you're having a great day in New York. Yeah, made 66, 96, 9, 1969. Serious exam you're having a great day in New York. Yeah, made six six nine six nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine on the phone who said those things. Jim called Bobby not Dan. Do we have any more? No, we've been taking advice now. We do. I got a J. We're taking advice.

We did a thing the other day. It's a take on dear Abby. But we put our name, say his name is J. My name is Bobby. We call it the jobby, dear jobby. We're the fans of the show. Hopefully they're still around. Maybe there's new fans right now.

You get a fan. They tune out quick. But it was for six to seven minutes. Six minutes. Because it's the podcast, 90 minutes the whole time. But we do a thing. We take things from fans and we help them with advice. Would you be interested in helping the fans, Greg?

Oh, sure. Yeah. Let's take one. Do we have one to be shot? We're going to give radio advice to try because it's like, you know, we're nailing it. Yeah, because we just got radio advice from Jim We just got radio advice might as well dulce them out and don't think this is coming. I'm coming in hot on these things Shall I you know when to read sure?

Listen to me. Yeah, I'll just go in order Ready Lou. Yeah, I got Climidia from this girl, but I still really like her. Uh, dear Joby, what do I do? Hmm, what? He's got Climidia, you get her fixed. Get her to the doctors and get her someone to do. Yeah, that's not one of the bad ones. Yeah, she has forever Climidia.

I don't think this forever Climidia. It's called AIDS. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're organic. Yeah, if you get her yeah, you're organic. Yeah, figure out some stuff and stay with it. Oh, for those of you who just tuned in AIDS as a gay disease. Yeah.

If you're a gay, it only affects the gay community. Yeah, AIDS was covert in the 80s. If you're straight and work condoms, you're gay. Yeah, stay. Fix it. Fix the vagina. You really like it. I mean she didn't like burn them on purpose. I assume unless you unless you don't want to be with her This is your perfect out. Yeah, she no girl can fight Climidia. Hey, why are you leaving? I don't know you gave me Climidia You slut you could leave if you want a But you love your name calling at the end of that. I mean you just say no Well, you got to throw that in because you can't you can't just

I'm leaving for clemise like you're a slut. You got clemidia if you go for me if you call our slut You cut out that like of her if you just go it's like you gave me committee. I'm leaving. It's gonna cut her out But look please not I'm making you feel bad about that But if you go I'm leaving you gave me clemida you dumb slut now she's like get the fuck out of here You're forcing it to ahead And you're also giving her genuine constructive criticism Yeah, you're dumb slut. Yeah, fix yourself and stop giving her own clean it. Yeah, fucking other dudes Extremely constructive close your legs you disease riddled pig. Yeah, don't work on them with me

But if you're gonna fuck other guys wear a condom Christine as Johnny Depp being played by DJ Lou. He's our engineer me but if you're gonna fuck other guys where are condom? I don't know a lot about it. Christine? As Johnny Depp being played by DJ Lou, he's our engineer, but not really an engineer, he's not that smart, he said. What's the next one? Dear Jobby, how can I...? Dear Jobby Warren. Huh?

Just three of us now. Dear Jobby Warren. Yeah, I apologize. Dear Jobby Warren, how can I tell my supervisor who abuses his authority to fuck off without getting fired impossible Man, we just went through we can't do shit. We took it. You what you do? Your head down and work. Yeah, put your head down and describe shit better Play music behind yourself. It's seem to get me through the first hour Yeah, bring in a funny comedian has a special out so you can fuck it, take some time

up. Greg Warren, salesman now available on the ATLAN YouTube, it is 40 past the hour. 866, 966, 919, 69, call in, we're not gonna answer. Community, standard comedian, Robert Kelly, standard comedian, big jokes, and talking to standard comedian, Greg Warren. We have a full crew here, don't have time to name everybody. Haha, who, what else you get there? Jacob? I have one, unless Christine, you want to take one?

I'll read my next one and then... Can we have to explain who Christine is again? No, dear, Joby Warren. To Christine, has he got... No, she just moved her microphone. My girlfriend just broke up with me and I'm trying not to get blackout drunk and cry every day to my friend.

Can you please help me? These questions are really vague. That one was vague. How do I get? Yeah. How do I get over the girl? I think that's basically what they're asking. You gotta fuck. Oh, I say what you do is take that bottle up that Fuck I oh I say what you do is take that bottle up that Passion you have right now like because it's it's it's a real pent up energy that kind of thing I got dumped and I'm feeling sad and just crying and say and Take that out and put all of that emotional baggage hard core into a new girl fast Like really dump all that on her be really clingy really early

With a girl. That's because that's extremely attractive. Yeah, I just focus and then that way you'll forget about her and you have a new bet your problems with this one. Yeah. It's probably not as hot because you moved quick. Yeah, or sell everything and move to Rio de Janeiro and have sex with hookers for a couple months until you money runs out and then kill yourself.

So there are a lot of hookers down there? Lots. Okay. Not all men, but. yeah, what's wrong with that there's plenty? I mean, that's where I got the armpit hair anyways Three of the fetish and then afterwards you open your own little Oasis like cocktail. Yeah open a little water hut in a favela You know what short answer telling the watch movie cocktail and do that a Lot of good stuff going on in there man. Yeah, times do cocktail. What do you do to get over your girlfriend? Just go full cocktail Just become a fucking flare bartender and just travel around the world. Yeah, go hang out. Go hang out with Sammy

Haggard. I'm not a bunch of you end up fucking a rich guy's daughter. You don't have to do it eventually. Yeah, I don't know if he ever did. No, not the movie didn't. She walked away from him, but that guy came around and said, I think he opened up a really bar that seemed like it was going to do pretty good cocktails and dreams. At the end, yeah, the grape bar. It looks like a pretty great bar. So he's doing his own way. I think that dad's going to come around and be like, you know what, you're not just some, okay, teaky hut pieces. I see what you know what, you're not just some Tiki hut pieces. I see what you're saying, but for a minute there, I thought you were gonna say the old man

put up the money for that bar and that enrages me, man. Like, because he didn't, he did that on his own. He did that on his own. He lost his friend committed suicide, Brian Brown took a lot, you know, took a lot, but he did it. He didn't take a lot from the commit suicide. I didn't quite understand the suicide.

It was dramatic. The weird suicide, he's like, ah, he goes, I'm just with this hot chick who doesn't really love me, but I got millions of dollars and I'm living on a yacht. I think I'm gonna end it all. Yeah. It didn't make that much sense.

You could've laughed over it. It made more sense for me and you to commit suicide today. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's got miserable in this relationship because I think he can leave. Yeah. Brian Brown. You guys got a worse than he did because I think you can leave. Yeah. Brian Brown. You guys got to worry.

I said he did. I would think right now. I mean, if one of us did off himself, I mean nobody would be shocked. Well, I think I have it worse because Christine keeps informing me that she does come from money, but there's no evidence of this anywhere in the world. Christine, you come from money? No, I don't say I come from money. I say I have... Read this book about my bazillionaire or something,

I've had an uncle that married Rich, but I don't come from money. Your uncle married into money. Yeah. So he's not, because it's not direct. The California evidences. So you could, could you get money off your uncle if you needed to?

Robert Evans, yeah, I think she could. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He, he like paid for ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha for Bob Evans sausage the sausage game. I wish the sauce king of Kansas City. I'm off from that evidence. That hilarious joke is brought to you by Greg Warren salesman now available. And if you're just joining us now, Greg's comedian. He's got a special available right now in the Atlanta YouTube called salesman. He is absolutely hilarious. Make sure you check it out.

We have another job. Ask job. here we go. Christine, you want to read this job before us? I don't think it quick, fellas. Dear job, my wife doesn't put out anymore. I can't just divorce because it's not financially smart. We have young children. Should I cheat again? I love her, but she's a total dud when it comes to sex.

Yes. Cheat. Cheat with her money, too. Ask her for the money. Go, hey, can I borrow 150? I'm going to tell you something. I was going to answer fast no matter what, because we have to wrap up here in a second. But that said, I stand by the answer. My first instinct was to read answer.

Cheat, sir. Cheat. Often with people she knows. Yeah. Now people she knows. Craig Warren, everybody. Cheat. Off-tending with people she knows. Yeah. Yeah. Now people she knows. Craig Warren everybody has a special. This guy's going to be really bumped out if you don't Use his little name at the end that he oh, you're right. His name was hard and thick Harden H-A-R-D-E-N. It's a good point if you're wondering for this man. You got to give him his do Great, war. It's a comic six. 62 degrees outside, and it's 46 past the hour.

Take the west side, not the east side. If you're going up to west, just the west. We'll be right back, but you won't be. It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates.

Coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink.