The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Brain Injury with T.J. Miller

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Actor/comedian T.J. Miller forgets this is his third time on the Bonfire and explains that he has a brain injury. He tells the guys about his phone conversation with Ryan Reynolds today. Jay lets him in on the "Piven Point System" that rewards anyone in the room who contributes positively to the show. Videographer Paco admits to an embarrassing way of climaxing. Friends and employees of 900 Pound Gorilla are hanging out in the background. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly And I love TLC Bobby thought this was TLC genuinely it's not it's not MC light it's not three different girls It's not three different people Dude this bumps it thumps bumps, this bumps. It thumps. Thumps. It bumps. It bumps and thumps. That's fine.

That was, I'm giving my Piven back. I'm giving my Piven back. Why? Unnecessary, that was unnecessary aggression. There's no reason for it. You know what? I respect you. Yeah.

No, no, listen. I gotta earn Pivens as much as anybody. That's goddamn right. You're the Piven, but you you really do I do you hope by pivot law. I want to choose our guests We can understand when he's probably confused this whole pivot thing pivot and the pivoting What is the everybody is the bonfire? We are back every way. We have a great guest everyone He's currently on the crowd sorcerer tour with dates coming up in Jacksonville Tempe Phoenix Houston, Atlanta

I didn't know that you were literate Completely literate. It's no you're thinking about me. Yeah, I think about you all the time But I never think that you can't read. Oh do the rest Bobby. I'll do the rest. Where would you leave off? Oh, right where for tickets? Oh Where'd you leave off? For tickets. Oh, right. Where? For tickets.

Oh, for tickets. Oh, right. I got it. I got it. I got it. TJ Miller does not have a website.com. For tickets and all other tour dates, visit TJMillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com, where you can also find TJ's peanut butter and unbelievable hot sauce as well, which I had at the Miami Improv.

And? Sunday. Unbelievable. Isn't it amazing? Hot sauce. Let me tell you something, bro. Tell me. They gave me my little steak and my rice and beans and I put that hot sauce on.

Amazing. It was so good. I'm not kidding you that I was at the mothership last weekend and in the green room, conversation about hot sauce in general, multiple people sit down and go, TJ's hot sauce is actually fucking great. And Lewis also says that. But Lewis is a liar. Let me tell you something.

Lewis is a liar and now that I heard that, I like my own hot sauce less. Yes, I'm sorry, I had to even you out by telling you Lewis also said it was great. No, it is, it's exceptional and it's all like, the guy that I did the hot sauce with, who's since passed away, his wife and I, but I collaborated with him.

Oh, you have to give her the money still? What's that? You have to give the wife the money now? Nah, I keep telling her I'll get to it. God, nice! No, no, no, and so, I haven't paid her, but I, no, but she's a fantastic. And then the peanut butter is a family.

Both of them are in Indiana and sort of small towns in Indiana. And what is this? Is this water? It's water. Why would you serve it like this? Because we can't. Because they don't have bottles of water.

So yeah, well, there's bottles of water right there. Well, then none of this makes sense. That's a little, oh, that's for one of them. Would you consider the tuft of hair that's colored? Is that a maroon? Where? Right here. Oh uh it is curly there now. It's like a burgundy now. You think it's burgundy? But Christine what do you think? It's a vampire red. Twilight vibes. I would say it's a Deadpool red. I would say it's a Deadpool red

Sorry certainly not that many but But these are both like family-owned businesses in Indiana And I kind of feel really fortunate that we all connected and it's like a real down-home America product and so you can get the peanut butter is on my website TJ Miller does not have a website comm the hot sauce I think it's still on Amazon who just what what can we say here? This is not trust right you just fucks your dick into the it goes in your Asshole, okay, and then you have to judge you have to give yourself a reach around and then come in a barrel But the barrel is filled with your daughters. So, but I will tell you this, it's, they do, they do nothing for small businesses.

But yeah, it's great. I mean, it's great and I love it and I can't get high on my own supply. So I don't keep any in my house because if I come home drunk or high, we can say that right, come home and I'm just gonna eat all of it. It's that good. Coconut, dark chocolate coconut, cherry chocolate with real dry cherries. I'm not just saying that either. I really had it at the Miami Improv and I was like, what the hell, it's TJ's hot sauce.

I'm like, what? You know, most comics have hats or shirts, but you brought peanut butter and hot sauce. I'm into food stuffs. I'm the Paul Newman of comedy. Absolutely. You're gonna get a salad dressing. How did that hit with the different generations? I know you kind of... Salad dressing.

I don't like when people get glazed over because they don't understand what's going on in the room. We should update them here. The joke that you didn't catch there was because you weren't here when Paco over here told us that upon feeling during masturbating like he's about to come, that is when he vampire sits up

and then squat walks over to a tiny trash can and bends over and jerks off directly into the can. Yeah. I used to have a joke like that. There's a guy who's- No, but this isn't a joke. This is dead serious life we're talking about right here. No, I know.

I did it as a, I mean I did. There's a guy, Sean Cole is so funny, he's in Chicago. He's like, you know those comics that are just a fucking kill? They're bizarre. It's almost Andy Kaufman, but in their own way, and then they just disappear. Yes.

Yeah. And so he actually thought you were like that but you've stuck around and for my... They call me I'm a long-term flash in the pan. Yeah. That's the kind of guy, this guy called me a flash in the pan. But he had a joke about it but I did one time with my current wife when we were in college, I thought it would be really funny. And I jumped out of her. How often do we say that?

And ran over to the trash can and I looked at her and I ejaculated into the trash can and I go, this is where it belongs. I had those were the funniest things I've ever done in my life. And I got to say, I got like a little more than a chuckle. It wasn't like, I thought it was gonna be a full on like, oh my God, but I think she also was like, why is this the end of this experience? Well, it actually belongs in her. The ladies in the room were like,

yeah, that doesn't sound funny or conjurable. It actually belongs in her vagina. That's what she's supposed to go. Is it? Yeah, it makes kids. What about on the feet? Well, yeah. Are you a foot guy? No, I hate feet. That's what you think that's what she is supposed to go is it yeah kids Well, yeah, are you a foot guy no, I hate feet so interesting I wouldn't I wouldn't expected you to be but I would Not have been surprised if you like I love feet What is it what's your favorite part of a woman's body that is not one of those three things that we?

Objectify women about and I don't want to do that That's how progressive I am that we objectify women about, and I don't wanna do that anymore. I'm not going to. They're dick. They're dick. That's how progressive I am. What am I, Jim and Sam right now? A woman's penis is my favorite thing. I love it. What do you think? The sexiest, the sexiest non-sexual place?

The sexiest non-sexual place. I would say, yeah, I would say hands. I like that. Hands, I like a nice hand. If they're big enough, you know there's a dick down there. Yeah, you know there's like that. Hands. I like a nice hand. If they're big enough, you know there's a dick down there. Yeah, you know there's a dick. No. I like a nice hand. You can always tell how clean a woman is by her fingernails.

Or how old by their hand veins. Or by their ass. Yeah, her fucking liver spots on her hands. That's what I meant too. Oh, liver spots are hot. I do like a nice hot liver spot. Right on the cheek right here? I do like a nice liver spot.

I can't come in. Yum, yum, yum! I do like the cancer freckles on the chest though. I only come on sun damaged parts of skin. Because it heals it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm doing something nice. So what's going on with you?

What happened with you? What's happening? You were supposed to be here at five. Well, I came up, I went to, where was I last? Do you ever do that? You're to, where was I last? Do you ever do that? You're like, where was I three days ago? I thought I was in Phoenix, but it turned out, I was telling people I was just in Phoenix.

And then like, I don't know, eight hours later, somebody's like, you were with your wife? Was she in Phoenix? I'm like, oh yeah, I was in Wisconsin. Yeah, I did that constantly, yeah. But I made a huge mistake. I came up with a funny thing. I talked about all the facts that I learned

about the Miller Brewery and within the facts, I listed real facts. Then every third fact, I said something that was about me having a drinking problem. So it was pretty funny, like nine million barrels. I had nine drinks before the tasting. And then we'd go to the next thing like that. And then I made a mistake.

I said the girl in the Miller Highlife logo, and she sort of sits on a moon, the moon girl does not have a name. And then I don't know where this came from. But I said this was the beginning of the set. I said, and I would eat her dry for another champagne and beer. And I don't think anybody has ever said that. Have you heard that phrase, eat a woman dry?

Yeah, I do it. My wife's a menopause, I do it all the time. This is my favorite part of the show. It's like eating sandpaper with an angry face. I'm going. Well, you're picturing right, T.J., my crazy, it's starting off wet. Of course. You've lapped at it so much that you've done it for so long

and so good that you have consumed all of her fluids, and now it is dry. You're talking about just licking pure desert front to back. When I eat my wife's pussy, it actually sucks the water out of me. Yeah. It smoothed Bobby's tongue out. I'm actually thinner. I have a dry dick. So if ever I receive fellatio it just immediately leads to blisters. It's terrible. But you know what I refuse

to moisturize my penis because I'm a Mormon. That's fair. Yeah, it is fair. I believe in religion. It's not unjust. I believe in right, everyone's a religion. You know what effect? You're mostly kind of just judging. TJ, that's his face. That's just his face.

It took me, TJ, it took me a year and a half to look over there and not feel shitty about myself. No matter how excited or upset, the face is always, I'm not having fun and I'm an unpleasant person at all. I don't think that's true. But he's a doll, he's a doll. I think he has told you that.

No, I think he's told you that, but right now he's looking at us and being like, I don't know how I got here. No, that's the face. How did this end up being it? All of his downtime he thinks about how the fuck did he possibly get here. Yeah, he.

This is my first time on Bonfire when you're the co-host. No, actually, this, I think it's the third, but that's cool. It can't be the third. Yeah, he is my first time on bonfire when you're the cost no actually You were cowboy hat I wore a cowboy hat we have a day well, and I have a brain injury that's okay, so do I Do you well I have the symptoms I bring it out dude not cool. Do you want me to read again? Bring up the definition of an AVM That took too long. Okay So I had a really It's been a day. It's been a crazy what happened 24 hours. I think I need now I can't talk about it. No AVM with an M

Like it's my mother's fault. Apparently you have one too. Arteriovenous malformation is a rare abnormal tangle, I heard that, of blood vessels that disrupt blood flow and oxygen circulation. They're in about one out of a hundred thousand people in the United States and mostly it's found in autopsy. So most people die from it and then they find out, oh, you had an AVM. But I had it was the right frontal lobe while I was doing Yogi Bear 3D. It hemorrhaged and I started to go crazy. Was it because of the 3D technology what made it burst? I think it's more of a maroon.

Yeah, I do. I'll accept it. Or is it? No, maybe it's not. What do you think, Katie? From 800 pound gorilla. Oh, think? from 800 pound gorilla oh They work for 800 pounder. Yes. That's what I was trying to say to you It's a burgundy What's going on dude, what What's happening? What happened? I'm gonna keep it but I'm working on this movie with my buddy Jay. It's a Christmas movie I remember a lot of fun with that and we've got a can I just say something real quick?

I would rather you didn't but that's because I don't remember you being on this fucking program. Okay, listen the fact is guys Okay, that was balls to the wall. That just got you a nice Jeremy Piven I mean that was okay. Here's how brain damaged I am. I my brain injury TBI. I Thought Jeremy Piven was on the program. I'm gonna keep saying When I was here last it wasn't it was Polly Shore. No, it was me No, Polly Shore was also here. No, Polly Shore was here he here? No. No, we had a Pauly Shore one. That was the other time. This is the third time.

No, he was here. It was Pauly Shore, and then we also had Marcus King, right? Then we did Cowboy Day. Cowboy Day was Marcus King. And then he also was here with Pauly Shore, though. Oh, okay, that's it, yes. We were here for Marcus King Day. To the third time.

Bobby, you did not make a dent. I did, well. To T.J. Miller. What the world you have? I think I'm intimidated by you. By me? Why? I love you. Me, why, I love you. No, no, I appreciate you. Did this freak you out when you see a memory,

you're like, I've never been here where Bobby's been here. Oh my God, I must have been. That seems like a day I would remember. But you can't tell it's Bobby Kelly, really. I do, I do look like Rip from Yellowstone. It's intimidating to be around such an iconic comedian. Let me, cause you're in a Christmas movie, right?

And being in a hit Christmas movie is if it if it does hit, they play it every year for every evergreen. Yeah. So it doesn't stop. So, yeah. And somebody said to me recently, I thought it was so cool. They said, oh, tis the season. And I was like, what do you mean? Well, this is when you start watching a Christmas movie, like, over and over every couple days.

This is your second one. No, so I've only done one. What was the other Christmas movie? I've been here three times. What's your name? You hit. The Sip, can they, are they watching it? I don't know, because the Sip fucking kill.

We're videotaping. Kill box, yeah. So, the first one, so I'm working on another Christmas movie which is Intergalactic. Nothing. And zero. Jacob's face. Just a general disappointment. Every time I look at you I feel more like you're my father. I'm trying to put on an interested face because it's making me uncomfortable that you don't like my face. I like your face but I just seek your approval. I'm trying you have it you just don't realize it cuz my face doesn't project approval. He does not. He always has the face like he can smell

shit but he doesn't know where it is. That's just his face. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's it, right there. He's puzzling. It looks like it's a face. It's like, yeah, he's puzzled by whatever it is you're saying. Yeah. You look like you're trying to decide whether or not the litter box needs to be cleaned. Yeah. Do you buy yourself till morning, or is this going to wake you up smell?

That face is saying, I love what you're doing on the show today. I don't believe that. Okay. Yeah, so we're working on this Christmas film. Yeah. And we're talking about it, and by that I mean we were smoking a joint in Washington Square Park.

There you go. And I get a phone call. And it's, I look at my my phone and it's Ryan Reynolds. Holy shit. Who is your? Neighbor. Yeah. He's my neighbor.

He's not Bobby's neighbor. No, stop, one second now. Stop now, shut up. Oh, this is great chemistry. Now I see why. We live in a similar area. We live in the same area, not similar. It's the very same.

The very same area, but Bobby has now, and he's got a notebook of times of day that Ryan Reynolds is not at the places. The bakery, the local bakery. So we can whittle down the times that maybe he will be. Yeah, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays, from 10 on he's not there until three o'clock. Yeah. Wow.

I'm gonna have a weekend off, I'm gonna do Saturday and Sundays, I'm pretty sure. But if you did talk to him today, is there any way you can ask him when he does have time home? Yes I'll go back in time and do that. Yeah so he called I go okay I go well I'm gonna send this to voicemail I'll figure this out and then my buddy's like no no you gotta you gotta pick that up and see what the deal is. So I pick it up and I'm kind of like, what is this gonna be? And we talk, he's like, hey TJ, it's Ryan Reynolds, which I think is always funny.

And he's like, hey, I just wanna ask you a question. And then he went on to ask me, he does work with this foundation. It's kind of like St. Jude's or Make-A-Wish called the Sick Kids Foundation. Can you bring that up actually? because I haven't even visited that a C-level a c-level alternate to st. Jude's Oh, you'll see we got to compete with st. Jude's is pretty funny

You know what st. Jude's is cleaning up all the cancer kid money when two Taylor Swift tickets and $10,000 oh my god, that's enough for one and $10,000? Oh my God, that's enough for one Taylor Swift ticket. Wait, wait, it sucks to go, it sucks to go. I don't think this is the right website. It sucks to see, these kids have to, these kids can't even get there, they have to win the ticket.

Oh, this is different, dude, these are sick ass kids. It would make sense that they got Taylor Swift tickets. Yo, dude, Taylor Swift is sick as hell. Yo, you know what's sick? Taylor Swift tickets. Oh. And so look, he does work with this foundation, and he was so, you okay?

Hope the concert happens soon. Oh, geez, he's shaking. Hope the concert happens soon. Yeah! I mean, what the fuck? You just got big jaded. Okay, so he does work with this foundation and he like amazes, go ahead.

I was looking at the picture underneath, looks at the Baldwin's Trump gang signs. This, you know this thing right here, if we can go back up to that, that's a little, looks like two shadow puppets kissing. It really does, yeah, it's two snakes that are trying to like French. Love.

So it's incredible to take that down because this is getting dangerous with what they're saying about the foundation. But I really it was amazing. He was kind of like, do you want to do this thing with me? What do you think about it? And I was like, that's what I said. I was like, this is really lovely of you to ask, like, thank you so much. And then at the end of the conversation, I was like, this is truly like tremendous.

And so since yesterday, it has been a very like, yeah, try it. Like I'm, I left him a message. I'm kind of waiting for him to call back. If he does, I'll leave the program. You know, leave, you'll leave the program. No, I just walk out. I won't Back is your way I could follow you and listen And in the background go what about the bakery times? Wow get off to get out of here.

Okay, Saturdays they make a queen of mine. I would love for you to just walk out of here for a Ryan Reynolds call, but you have to do it really loud first. Sorry guys, give me two seconds. Ryan! Double R! Reynolds!

A Deadpool! But that's what's been so fun, it's like basically, that's 48 hours. I've just been being friends with Ryan Reynolds. And I did once, I was somewhere, and I go, and I don't know what's gonna happen with this Ryan Reynolds thing. I was at a sushi place, and the girl was like,

are you really? You're talking about Ryan Reynolds? And I was like, yeah, we're cool with each other. We're homies, yeah. And she didn't give us anything for free. Not even, no, no, not even crispy tuna rice. Wow. He's loving this.

What a great audience member. Yeah, he's Filipino, he can't understand English. Is that true? He just happened to be in this country, man. Really? Yeah, he just does video and he jerks off into a bucket. Yeah. He thinks this is an island. Really? Yeah, he just does video and he jerks off into a bucket. Yeah He thinks this is an island well

His country you can't come in your own hand. It's illegal if you Look at the entirety of it This is an island all the way up the entire continent Right, manhattan is an island. I love it. that's why we've allowed you to come here. So. And well, that's a different appropriation. So let me ask you a question, because I'm a huge fan of you. That is cultural appropriation. No, I'm that too.

What? I'm Japanese as well. No one asked. And they don't do that. Okay, go ahead. It's not a bowinging culture or definitely it is? It's one or the other, but it can be both. It's magenta and nightmare.

Where is it? The Empire. Have you ever watched- Nightmare Red. TJ, have you ever seen, you watched it, Bobby, right? The Dennis Rodman, Big Bang and Pan Yang documentary? What? No, I've never even heard of it.

It's one of the greatest documentaries ever. Dennis Rodman, he goes over to Oh, I did see that. China to play, or I'm sorry, North Korea. To play basketball, and then he comes back, and then right before he goes back to North Korea, goes, you know what, I'm gonna fall off the wagon hard, and just goes and just terrorizes Japan

like an actual Godzilla monster. North Korea. Like a Japanese monster though. But when he came in and he just bows at everybody, but it's not a bowing culture in North Korea, so it's just funny that he keeps doing it and they keep stopping him. And you're seeing these nervous tiny Koreans bowing back,

it's like, oh, okay, is this your culture? He just bows at everyone. What would that be like here? Like not bowing, but it would be like, I guess maybe bowing. If you cheat kiss in LA, people think it's kind of weird because people do it here, but out there, like if you go in, who cheats kisses here?

Everybody. Who? What? I cheat kiss girls, not guys. Well, not the guys don't cheat kiss each other, but girls and guys cheat kiss. Am I not friends with anyone? I've cheat kissed you.

The only people I've cheat kissed are like Europeans that kind of force it on you. That's a double cheat kiss, though. I don't like that at all. I don't like that for one fucking second. I love a fucking cheat kiss. Not a double. I'll take a cheat kiss from anybody.

I'll tell you what, a real good... I love it. I'd take a cheat kiss from you, even with the scruff. A real good Ginzo Italian will make it nice. This cheek kiss from you, even with the scruff. A real good, a real good, Ginzo Italian will make it nice. This weekend, Tommy Pope, after we watched the Eagles game, and he was leaving and I'm gonna see him for a few months. You know, he lives in Austin, Texas, gave me a big old smooch on the cheek.

Giants love a cheek kiss. Couldn't wait to give them that hug at home, right? Oh, you're not talking about, you're talking about it. No, this one was a particular hard, lips on the cheek. I'm talking about European. But a side cheek kiss, the double cheek kiss is European

and it disgusts me. But Italians in America will always bring you in and give you a kiss. How you doing? I love you, good to see you. My new joke is I think that there's a level of sexism in America that reaches everything, like every component down to the greeting.

And the way that I can explain this is that, uh, when you meet a man or a woman as a man, uh, you shake their hand. Hey, it's good to see you. How you doing? Good. Good to see you. Uh, but women, if you try and do that, sometimes they go, uh, I'm a hugger. Oh yeah. I hug.

Yeah. Come on. Get in here for hug. Men'm a hugger. Oh yeah. I hug. Yeah. Come on, get in here for a hug. Men can't do that. You can. Can you imagine if a woman puts her hand together, uh-uh, I'm a hugger. You can do it.

Get in here. I open my eyes. I wanna touch my hands behind your back. You have to do it differently. Yum, yum, yum! It's just a different tone. It's not okay. TJ, you just have to go like this. I'm a hugger.

Uh oh, I'm a hugger and it's not gonna get hard. I just hold the front. And if it does, I'm coming in the basement, right on into the can. I'm Filipino. I'm a hugger. I just hold my motel door open and I go, I'm a rapist, come on.

I don't push them into the room, I just keep giving head nods, I just hold the door open and I go, I'm a rapist, come on. I don't push them into the room, I just keep giving head nods, I just hold the door open and I go, I am a rapist, get in here. Get in here, get in here, get in here, wait in Rome. They go like this, they really go in for the, you have no choice, I'm really going in for this. So what I do, I'm an experiment with this

but it doesn't work necessarily, when they go in both sides like this, I do a double handshake. Nice. So they're this. I'm like, oh, it's nice to meet you. Like kung fu. That's a guy who's been a part of movie fight coordination

before right there. I wouldn't even think that fucking high level, dude. And now we're back to Yogi Bear 3D. It's all come full circle. It's all come. It's all come. Come in a barrel's all come. It's all come. Come in a barrel. All of this is exactly what you think it is.

Come in a tiny trash can. So is there any way. Big trash can. Filipino come in a tiny trash can sounds like a Coldplay album. Is there any way now that you're friends with him. And like not a great one. TJ, if there's any way, because I'm such a big fan of you in Deadpool, it's one of my favorite movies. Give me your name again.

My name is Mike Fanoia. Mike Fanoia, remember that name. I'm going to be torn with a big comic soon. Listen, seriously, is there any way that you're friends now? Because Deadpool 3 was great, but you weren't in it. And there's definitely something lacking. Well, so I do want to say about that because I do have a friend. We do this show called Gorberger, G.O.R.

Berger. Everybody should look it up. It's fucking crazy and it's fantastic. And I think we're going to do a serious XM spin off, which should be really fun, called Tragor, where it's like Gore Burger's monster alien nephew, and he comes to do podcasts, and he's an alien and everything, but one of the things that he has is whenever he gets excited, he pukes.

So anything that his guests are talking about, like that, so that would be a lot of fun. Got yourself a piffin. I don't, yeah! Got yourself a piffin. You know, if you get three, you get to be in Andrage. No one knows.

You got three? Bobby's cleaning up. I get to be Turtle. I could've, I feel like I could've said something funnier. That's been the problem of all of us. Do you ever feel like that? That's the problem. Big Jay, do you ever feel like that?

I'll tell you what I feel like. Where you said something that you thought could've been funnier. Yeah. And you look back and you regret it and then you keep interrupting the host. Of course. Of course.

The problem none of our group ever made is. I don't know, just like Caleb. I don't know, I have a friend that has a theory about that but I think more than that he just like, I think he's one of these guys that's like, eh, I'm bigger than that. There's no real beef. How you doing?

All that. But I think, I mean, I don't know. From this perspective, like in terms of what happened the last 24 hours, I think he just is like, I want to do something for the Sick Kids Foundation. What's the funniest thing that I could do? Right. And he kind of, you know, and the way that he came at it was like, I'm not going to tell you the idea, but like the way that he came at it, it was really funny.

Because he is, he is one of the funniest people I've ever come across. He's such a good improviser. Yeah. And I know we have some people that like are above average in terms of improvising. Above slightly. But he is like next level improviser. And I'm joking, you're one of the best improvisers alive. But I think that there is a component of it which is just that.

Jay, I'm gonna give you this. Yeah, I'll give him one too! That's a sympathy, that's a sympathy pivot. Ding ding ding. That's how bad you pivot. Oh my God, I've never seen this. Sympathy pivot. But he just went like this with a sympathy Piven.

He just goes like this. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's all it takes. Yeah. That's like my father when he just absolutely cracks up at one of my jokes, he goes.

How's that? That's all he needs. What are you doing? You're writing down English words? Sorry. He's doing the video. What are you doing? You writing down English words? He's filming. Nothing? Yeah, we always have Paco. He films a video and then we have Black Lube do ESL over there with him. This is really a dangerous show to be on.

Oh dude, there's 800 pound gorillas. There's fucking, everything is, it's fucking crazy in here. Yeah, that's actually, that's troubling. Smell that bucket over there. I don't need to. He smells it from her. That's too tall for. So you think you think there might be a chance because it's definitely going to be a Deadpool four. Yeah, for sure. I know. I know.

Would you would you do it if he asked you? I think I really do feel strongly about this. I think because he and I we talked a little while ago also. And I think him asking me, I think he's just been such a good like friend right now that I think it would be really, I think that would be awesome. And I'm like, I'm friends with Michael Bay. And I think during that experience with Transformers 4, I was not sure that I would work with him again, because I was like, this is very, but it's a $300 million film.

So it's not easy for anybody to make that happen, especially when it makes a billion dollars. But now I'm buddies with him enough that I would do almost anything that he wanted to do. So I think one of the big things is like- How about a Joker musical? What's that? Would you be sure? I'm in it. You didn't see of the big things is like- How about a Joker musical? What's that?

Would you be- I'm in it. You didn't see it? I didn't see it. Did you see it? I'm in it. Are you actually in it? Yeah, I play Yogi Berth.

What do I do this to? I know Tim Dillon was in it. I didn't see that either. Well, no. Was he in it really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Everything about him is confusing.

He's got some great- Have you noticed that? Tim Dillon? Everything about him is confusing. Any fact that I find out about him is confusing. He's got some great- Have you noticed that? Tim Dillon? Everything about him is confusing. Any fact that I find out about him, any time I converse with him, I'm like, what? Yeah, everything. Right down to the fact that this is starting out

that it's like, Tim's gay. What? No, no, no, you're right. Tim's a Republican. And what? And that, by the way, that's the beginning of it. And then Andy Letterman is like- Tim likes salads. Yeah. What? And that, by the way, that's the beginning of it. And then Andy Letterman is like, what?

Tim eats a 2000 calorie day diet. What? Tim has a pool. Okay. It's not that big. What? Tim jerks off in a barrel. Yeah.

Paco's in there. What? What? Down to Andy Letterman being like, yeah, and he sent a jet for me in case I wanted to take it to New York. And you're like, what? Did you see?

All of us had a moment where we're like, that can't be real. You got nothing. Jesus Christ. The what bit was fantastic. We got so into that. It was so good. I liked it. You are flushing pivans.

Can't wait. How about a negative three? What? A negative three pivans. Who's a negative three? What? A negative three pivin. Who's a negative three? She's embarrassing you in front of you again. Christine, you're not a negative three pivin. Every pivin that you don't have is a pivin that you do.

I'm... Every pivin that you don't have is an opportunity that you do. I'm getting really unc... Some one thing I did not think out when we started, when we had our first guest during the era of the piven Point system, is that I feel like we're gonna really hurt him. I don't wanna teach you to be hurt when I tell him,

it clears at the end of the show. Oh wait, this is Ryan. Oh no! Shit. Oh shit. I'll be there Saturday. Saturday! I'll go Sunday if he's there.

No, no, I know, I just was trying to- Saturday. Sunday, I'll be around Sunday Yeah, okay Yeah, I know I was just getting out of the big J. Joe cuz he was about to say something about Jeremy Okay, yeah, what it's called what fire on see hello He has to give a pivot back for that one. That's OK, guys. Well, the show's almost over.

We always got to give back all the pivots. Yes, he does. You have to come back on to earn your pivots back. I know. Guys, and this is so fun. It really, really is. But what are you going to say? You're worried about?

No, but you were worried about what? I forget. I was just joking. I forget already. That it's really gonna hurt me when. No, I guess at the end of the show, we collect all the pivots back. Yeah.

And then you don't get to bring the pivots home. I should have announced that earlier, because I guess that's a terrible feeling to send somebody away with. Jay, it's okay, because I have 40 to 50 pivots at home. Oh, that's impressive. You have your own pivans? Yeah you know they are their point system for my wife. That's how I have it of course. The only way I can come in a trash can is if I get 15 pivies.

As we come around the Miller household pivies. She goes oh she says that's a strong stroke my friend here's a pivin. She goes oh, let's divvy up the pivies. We gotta divvy the pivies. Oh my god, full laugh! That's it. Christine, I'm sorry. Here, I need a pen so I can mark off Christine, her loner. You have the pen over there.

What's wrong? Oh, you didn't see that they do this? Christine, give me the pen. I'm just joking, I didn't either. Sorry, TJ, this is where I- 800 pound gorilla in the house. Hang on, I got it. Comedy label, I've got a smooth peanut butter out right now.

The philosophy circus coming out soon. Yeah. And the gentle giant. And what else? Any other fun things that we're doing? Not yet. 24. Sorry I'm just logging out Christine. Go to TJMillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com. He is going to start his new tour. Crowdsourcerer. The dates are coming up. Jacksonville, Phoenix Houston in Atlanta and make sure you check out his website for his TJ

Peanut butter and his hot sauce which is amazing. It's amazing one of the funniest fucking guys I do what I'm on behalf of Ryan Reynolds. I want to say check out the sick kids foundation We put it out when you can yeah sick kids foundation. Oh please, can we put it out? Donate when you can. Yeah, sickkids.org, right? And it's amazing. And when he told me about it, I was like. .com, it's.com. Oh.com, sickkids.com. Sickkidsfoundation.com.

Sickkidsfoundation.com. And when he told me about it, I was like, that's kind of a funny name for, I was like, yeah, if we do something together, that would be sick. And then I looked it up, it's fucking amazing. You can win $10,000. Just kidding.

What if I was like plugging that? You know what I give, I, if you give to this foundation, you can win $10,000. Every month I give to St. Jude's and I'm going to take it back. I'm going to give it to this. I think you should. And then I found out I recently, I recently was looking at credit card statements. And I wrote to our business manager and kid.

I'm like, what is this like AC, what is this? Cause we're not, I'm not going to, I'm going to stop paying it cause I don't know what it is. And Kate was like, it's the Humane Society. And I was like, oh no, I know. You go, I guess, I guess just cut off one of my Netflix accounts then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going through your rocket, your rocket fun angel.

Which by the way guys, Hulu is the new place for comedy and that's so exciting and the New York Comedy Festival is sponsored by BuzzBall or as I say, tastes like what my parents thought would happen. Please don't tell me Hulu is the new place for comedy. I don't want to believe that. I don't want to, I don't like when I'm not part of the first exodus of something I go, it's cause it's not going to work out. Yeah, exactly. That's how I felt about Quibi and look what we got there.

You'd have been sitting on a fortune. Nothing. DJ Miller, thank you so much for hanging out with us. Quibi, thank you guys so much. And guys, this is such great chemistry that I know next time I'm here. You'll remember. I won't remember. Give me your name again. It's...

Josh Adam Meyers. Nice. That just got you a pivot. Last minute pivot. What? I'm giving my pivot over here! Thank you. I'll take it. Josh Adam Meyers Lewis. He's self-described. I'm not much of a comic. I'm more of a Bar Mitzvah DJ. That's so fucking funny, dude. It's the bonfire.