The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Breakfast Club Scene (feat. Louis Katz)

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Christine must prove that she's an actress, and Louis Katz tries to match her efforts.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. They weren't killer lyricists. They weren't killer lyricists. Yeah. They weren't killer lyricists.

I just love that they pronounce their ars. Do I love that? We're you, we're. Wonder why. Yeah, wonder why. Where are you work? I love it. Work.

It's a bottom five faction talk series six, I'm one of three, Big Jopers and Robert Kelly. Hi. Joining us in studio right now everybody's we told you He's got a new special right now streaming on YouTube called present tense It's the great hilarious Louis Katz everybody. What's happening? Hey, it's up man. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here I gotta say I haven't seen you in a long time. Yes, and you've become and I don't mean this as an insult Please don't take it as an insult sounds like it's gonna be insulting

You're more manly. Oh, that's good. That's not an insult, please don't take it as an insult. Sounds like it's gonna be insulting. You're more manly. Oh, that's good. That's not an insult. I said, you might take it as it, like, because you weren't manly the last time I saw you, but you look like something happened. Like you look more manly, something your face is manly. Well, I got a beard, I'll shave my head, I'll work out, you know, all that stuff.

Yeah, you look good, man. You look like a man. Last time I saw you, you look like a man., I'll work out, you know, all that stuff. Yeah, you look good, man. You look like a man. Last time I saw you, you look like a man. Did you always work out or you started working out? No, I always worked out, but maybe it got better over time or something. I've been working out for a long time. Did you have a kid? No, but I'm married.

I got married in July. Maybe that, yeah, something happened to you. Your balls dropped. I also maybe did the wife suggest the shaved head beard look? No, this was all like, this was a huge transition right before the pandemic. I swear in the same month, I turned 40, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me

and I lost my hair finally, I shaved my head. And it was like a very traumatic and that's what the new specials about, not the hair loss, but I swear, like all that stuff happened within a few months. And then I grew the beard, I didn't grow it right for a while. And during the pandemic, I met the girl who ended up marrying now and I shaved my head and I got the beard. So that's that's right around when everything changed. Yeah. Yeah. So it's good luck beard. Yeah. You look good, dude. You look

very good. Yeah, you really do. Got a great. I've gotten used to the look already. I can say that Bobby was like taking back by, but I've seen you a few times like since so yeah you you we haven't really talked since since years before that even so yeah we used to at the seller yeah yeah all the time yeah but I haven't and I was on the show and then I just haven't seen you for a while I don't know why but yeah well apparently I ignored him at Skankfest twice yes twice I was I stayed shared through me it was although I was telling you that said like the look is uh common at Skankfest yeah very common at I tell you that said like the look is Cominets gangfest. Yeah, well very common at skankfest But no also the look is like very it's a big shift in like style Overall, so I someone like hasn't seen it while I can see looking past me like oh shit

That was Luke, you know, I can hit you but still in my head. I'm like maybe I did something there must be something I did buddy 100% not you just went from a boy to a man. You have, before you were like a little writer, now you seem like you trained dogs for like a dog race in Alaska. I still scared of dogs. Okay, there you go, you're still a little writer guy that I knew.

Bit by a while when I was 10, they were gonna be training any dogs. What happened, where? I'm stepping my friends place before soccer practice. I'm petting their dog. And then it's just attacked. It's your friend Jimmy Hitler and his dad sent his doberman.

Jimmy Hitler. Jimmy Hitler. I don't know. It was the hell's a rock whileer. Yeah, it was it was dude. It was just that's the thing. Everyone whenever you tell someone you got attacked by a dog or bit by a dog,

their first thing is what were you doing? Like it was my fault. Like I should have been, when everyone, whenever you tell someone you got attacked by a dog, a bit by a dog, their first thing is, what were you doing? Like it was my fault. Like I should have been, you know, like I must have been doing something that deserved to be bitten by a face by a dog. I was eating raw meat. Yeah, exactly. I was flicking its nuts and it flipped out. I was wearing a short skirt made of snossages. I was asking you, you know, I was trying to put it to sleep with a chokehold.

I was trying to get its know. I was trying to put it to sleep with a chokehold. I was trying to get it's come. I was thirsty. How old were you, your 10? I was 10. I was there, I think so you just. I've been, I was scared of dogs since, also my parents had very aggressive dogs that would kind of snap at me.

This didn't stop them from having those dogs. They just had the dogs even after I was traumatized like that. My dad hinted, what? No, my dad's rigged on is still barking dogs, and it makes me jump whenever it is for rings. It's like a tack dog. Did he survive the Holocaust? No, man, he's just, you're afraid of substantial size dogs.

You're not afraid of dogs. I've gotten over it, you know what caught me over it? And this is gonna sound crazy, but I swear this did it. I went to China, I ate dog. Did you really? Yes. I'm afraid. What the fuck did you just say?

I went to China. You dominated that. Yes. Are you in Sarah Silverman touring together? I like it. We felt like it was even. That's it. We even the score.

What kind of dog did you eat? Do you know? Delicious dog. Yeah. Tasty dog. No, what? Did they show you the dog? Was it like a lobster tag? I didn't pick out the dog. It was a dog. Yeah, tasty dog. No, what did they show you the dog? Was it like, I didn't pick it wasn't like a lobster tag I didn't pick out the dog. It was great dude. Well, they played the Sarah they played the Sarah Muglok of music

Oh, that's sad fuck right there dude. That's a tender burger I'm gonna take the right while that my wife's gonna take a shit to and the kids are gonna have the hot dog and the kids are gonna have the hot dog. You get it? I like it. But yeah, it just felt like we were even and I could get over it then. And now I do enjoy dogs and I understand their ways. I understand their dog ways.

I wanna know what dog tastes like. What did it look like? What did it do? It didn't taste like, it was in China. Food in China is different from how we know Chinese food. So it's all just in like a big stew. So you know, you're just reaching out for pieces, but here's what was fucked up,

and this might turn your stomach, I'm sorry, but like, so we're eating dog, piz find, whatever. We also ate rat, fine. But like I said, in China, the thing is, they don't like put parts of it or debone it. They just like chop up the animal, throw it in the stew. So I'm fishing parts of rat out and I hit paw, and that was it then I was done. I'm like I can't eat anymore. I can't. Do you eat out of the stew or the paw was? It was like yeah it was just like you

just it looked like a little hand. Do you know what I mean? Like a rat paw and I was like I'm out. I'm out. I got it. It was a war. That was and then I was done. But even knowing what the meat was you were ingesting your fine with that you have good stomach for that. That was my point I was going there I want to I like to try one of something everything once in life. Would you try human flesh? I Mean I guess no We have some right now We have dude jerky

I know you can't have human flesh. Yes, but if it was presented would you take a nibble? I know you can't have human flesh. Yes, but if it was presented, would you take a nibble? You may, and it was, how was it, how was it grass-fed? Was it humanely cage-free? I mean, how was it? How was it? I'll say flat-out someone just cut it off their arm

for a graft, fried that some bitch up. And it's their arm and they're serving me their arm. The person's a little totally happy with it, yeah. There's a little piece. I guess so if they're still alive, I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, contribute to anyone's death and contribute to anyone's hurt or pain. I guess so if they're still alive, I don't want to contribute to anyone's death and contribute to anyone's hurt or pain.

All right, somebody dies. Okay, somebody dies. They donate their body to restaurants. And somebody dies on a ship rack. Yeah, it freezes. And then you get the body and you eat that. It feels disrespectful, unless I need to get, and then you get the body and you eat that. It feels disrespectful, unless I need to get,

it seems a little bit disrespectful to the dead just eat them first. Are me, you and Jay, are traveling some of the plane crashes? Yes, 100% no problem. Well, let me finish. Because you're the one that died in the story. Fine, go for it.

So one of us dies, you'd eat one of us to survive. You have no problem. Yeah. I mean, unless you guys said, please don't eat me. Who would you eat first? If both of us dies you'd eat one of us to survive you have no problem. Yeah, I mean unless you guys said like Please don't eat me who would you eat first if both of us were dead me and Jay both of us are dead Who you carving into first? Oh, no you guys both look pretty delicious It looks well marble It's hard But Bobby's weight fluctuation though might make for a real delicious steak though. Yeah, but you're your constant level of beautiful chub.

Yeah, my layer of chub that is gonna be your right. It's almost like a wago fat. Yeah. Jays like a Japanese steak. Wagyu. Wagyu. All I know is it feels like I'm gonna survive. Is what if you both you are dead? I'll tell you what cook both you I think I'm gonna make it. Wagu. All I know is it feels like I'm gonna survive. If you both you are dead, I'll cook both you. I think I'm gonna make it.

For years. Yes. I think I know myself enough to know and I might be wrong. I might, when it gets to that zero hour, it's like you're gonna eat this personal. You're gonna die. Maybe. But I, I don't know. I just don't think I can. I don't think I would even keep it down. I have no problem. No problem. No problem. I'm food act. I'll fuck it to you now. I would let it happen. If society would let it happen.

There's turbulence. You're already gong on your neighbor. You know, once a year. I would go to China and eat some dog, I think. It's cool, man. I just want to try everything once. I've eaten some crickets. I've eaten frogs and...

I have frogs. A lot of this stuff. Frog, frogs and... I had frogs, yeah, a lot of all that stuff. Frogs are good. Yeah. I had ants and Copenhagen. Cool, man. Yeah, they tasted like lemon. Really? Well, that's because they were covered in lemon.

No, there's a certain ant that they use at that Noma restaurant. They don't have lemons or they only use stuff from the region. In these ants, when you fry them, they taste like lemons. That's awesome. And when they would put them on the you fry them, tastes like lemons. That's awesome. And when they would put them on the dish for it to taste like lemons, it was crazy. And it was awesome. That's really cool. What did dog taste like, just the basic thing?

I mean, it tasted like the stew that they serve at every restaurant in China. Like it's just like their stew. It's the meat in the stew. It didn't taste like, they always say it makes you hot. Like it heats up your body. Oh, we get some for Jacob please? Give me dog jerky we can just throw his way every fucking eight minutes. He's trying to heat this little fuck her up. Yeah he's wearing nine layers right now. He's charging hand warmers. He's charging. We need some dog soup, Jacob. Jacob you really benefit from some dogs do

Is your wife Chinese no no no this was years, but this is years ago. Did she be in your coke? This is years She's not Chinese no my wife, my wife from New York. Yeah, no, she's from California like me. She's half Sicilian, half Portuguese. Wow. Kind of looks Latina because of that, but she's those things.

Communion? Hell no. Oh, good. Did you ever date comedians ever? My last girlfriend was comedian, and that was a mistake, and I vowed never to do it again. And now I won't ever.

Yeah, you can't. Do you have to cross paths still? No, we're in a different world. that South Brooklyn world and I stopped kind of fucking with that. So that's that. You can't date a girl with a headshot. What with what? A headshot.

You can't call. Yes, that is a good call. She can't do it. That was my rule from day one. Really? No, I never ever, ever had ever dated a girl. Whatever it is for you. You want to tell her that her acting is good particularly.

An actress has to be the wars when she goes another audition down and someone else got it like who cares Christine can act huh Christine can act that's what watch if they what she was acting retarded that day then she was acting like a fantastic she knows how to Christine's the worst actress, maybe ever. I don't believe it. No, you can hear some of her right now. Look at when she was really sexy, ready?

Mm. Yeah, there you go. I'm a stage actress, I can do Neil Simon if you guys wanna see a monologue. Neil Simon, if you wanna see a monologue. Neil Simon. Wow, it's impressive. It's pretty good.

By the way, I challenge her to that. Christine, I, we'll hear this on Thursday. I have agreed prospect to do drag at the holiday show. Christine, I want you to do a Neil Simon monologue. That is. I give up that life. No. No longer a performer. No, you asked us that day. I'm a producer. You know what?

I was nervous. You were making me try to be sexy in front of all my friends. I didn't want to do it. Nobody was paying attention until you were failing at it miserably and then it drew us all in I want to make sex sounds in a microphone. So sex sounds? I want to see. Mm-hmm.

She's pretty good right? They go, hey, like a sexy, mm-hmm. She can make a sound like she was biting into a great avocado to it. Yeah, she makes it, she's really good if you just got the best fried chicken you've ever had Love that chicken and pop us You made it seem like we abused you you put this off for two weeks Yeah, you were terrified of this you could have done this alone with me and Lou or I said from the beginning I didn't want to do it. I said you make the sexy noise and we'll put you in no sense because not a Neil Simon play Jacob I thought the gingerbread lady it wasn't Neil Simon words the wait the wait she put on this

She has to do she has to do the gingerbread lady monologue for the Christmas live show Listen, I'll do it with you. I'll do it with you Christmas show. We do a scene with with Neil Simon. Neil Simon. Christine is going to fold like origami under the pressure. I can't wait. It's gonna be great. I believe in you. I think you can do it. Don't. I think. This is more of an acting class.

Were you there at the very, very dead end of like Skangfest? When they gave Christine a microphone, she panicked and then Rebecca went up there and gave a fucking Harvey Milk speech. She was like, we are the chosen few! She was sad of her treat. She just screamed freedom. Freedom! Just took her tits out, skilled him out like fucking milk carton. She was always like, fun, you guys are fun.

He's like, you're the one who's the fun. I said, thank you, and then I don't know where my eyes are supposed to look. Yeah, and she gave that thing that Rebecca and Rebecca came in, and she was like, finally, the rock has come back. Chris, did you enjoy your, you enjoy your gig, well, it doesn't matter what you enjoy. Why don't you take your festival, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Did I have? So, Christine, you need to act for the Christmas show.

I'm on a log. Paul Simon. Come on, we're all new. Paul Simon. No Simon, no Simon. No, I want Paul Simon. Call me out. I want you to sing a song.

I want you to sing Paul Simon. I want you to call me out. And play the trumpet. Yeah. You're the trumpet part. And eat the dog. I do love the Iceland. She'd rather eat dogs than try to act in front of people.

Jacob would say I acted it that I went to the triad member when we first started dating I was in a play at the triad and I wouldn't let you come. You thought I was like dating somebody else and they were coming. It was she was like I don't want to say I go who goes no performance and doesn't want anybody to see them perform. I wanted the audience to see me perform not you. So I promised not to go in the room while you do your monologue your monologue Christine you're an actress. I can't wait an actress. I'm a producer now Good change once it's in you never die. Yeah, never die You know you still have the passion

Bobby are you a trained actor like cuz you're I see you in things and it blows me away. Are you taking classes and stuff? I worked with a guy, uh, I don't like the way you said that. That's all right. What was that room? No, no, no, not you. I don't like the work with a guy. I was trained.

I was, I was, he's a riferous. I like dog too. I worked with an acting coach out of Boston. He's Peter Kelly, named Peter Kelly. He's hit Rina Harrison project. He's like one of the best acting teachers on a boss. Bobby St. Gisley's name. Yeah, I did.

He actually made me when I joined the Harrison. My name is Bobby Donlin. But Bobby O'Dolyhan. Bobby Donlin O'Dolyhan. And then I had to change it to Robert Kelly to be a Thazbian. He actually is a Liza Duskouz teacher and who's got incentive of a woman? Fuck. Al Pacino?

No. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris, he played Rodin. Chris O'Donnell, yes, he's his teacher. So he actually for the last 15 years has been on the set. He's LL Cool J's teacher too.

He's Chris, so he helped Chris incentive a woman. Wow. He was on the set. So when Chris got the job on CSI, he hired him to be his coach on set. So he's been in L.A. for years. Now I think it's all over. Now he's moving back. I'm actually gonna start study. Hopefully, maybe I would love to study training

with him again. The last time I saw him, he was in New York. I went into, I was in a class with him in his, you do it in his house. And I, I got a call from my wife that she's feeling she had to go to the hospital for the baby. Wow. So I left and I haven't seen him since 10 years ago. Wow. Haven't seen him since. You get in the itch though. I let the yellow leather. I let the yellow leather.

I like the yellow leather. Jay, can I say something and be serious? Absolutely. There's something about acting that is in my heart and I feel it in my soul. And when I let it out all the stuff from my childhood and the feelings I felt as a boy not having a dad around not really having a mom. I see a conjured up a tear. I'm not conjuring up

nothing. I'm not conjunking up nothing myself. So when you say to me, I want to go back. I don't want to go back, Jay. I want to go home. I just want to go home. Thank you very much, Jay. That's awesome. That was good.

That's really good. Wow, that was good. Thank you very much. That's really good. Wow, that was cool Bobby just did that in front of the whole country Bobby is an actor My profession you felt naked doing that in front of all of us. It was one little One I don't consider that Has everyone else for me to do it? Like the sexiest sounds? Hey, we all did it for her, no, it goes, take it away from her.

Look. Six, six over 40s, men did it for her. You all mowned it with me. The only way her works, what? Do you like sun chips? Hey, do you like pizza? Mm-hmm. Do you like bubble gum? Mm-hmm. Mmm You like pizza? Do you like bubble gum?

Christine is everything gonna be all right Christine do you have a boy under 15 That's out kind of hot I'm horrible and lose a genius than me being a good actress. Yeah. I've just never seen the backpedal of a human being more of my life from saying they were like, yeah, I'm pretty good actress. You know, like cool act.

Like fuck you guys. I need to see her do a mom. I I agree it needs to be done. I Showed you I said I would do drag I should he's gonna do red drag. I showed you loan I don't even the last thing that was videotaped of me acting was on a VHS tape that I've know like there's nothing What if I promise you you won't do it for it? I moved to New York to make something of myself. Oh, you did. Here we go. She did.

She's one of the top producers in the country. I'm not arguing that. I'm saying she moved here. She wanted to act. Yeah, I did want to act. But then I was like, I don't know how to audition or anything. Or act. Or make money.

Or say words. Or say words to your reading off a piece of paper in front of people with some sort of inflection. Or to pretend at a high level. or to pretend at a high level or to pretend at a high level or to just maybe be able to repeat when someone else goes mmm hmm and you don't think that the repeating of that is mm-hmm it was odd. Christine just want you to act right now ready? Act, go ahead and do it. All you have to do acting is what?

Listening, that's it. it's just lit no it's listening it's not reacting just listen to what I say and you respond let's get him a script up and on the screens no I think maybe a thing of how about you guys Jack and Rose at the end of Titanic no because I made me angry. I missed the most of the choice you would make. You, you twat. Let me up on the fucking the door. You fat fuck. You fucking, you're fucking like your life jacket would help. I drew you, I took up 15 pounds of belly, you tub of shit. I guess I drew you very generously, may I add? Well, you're fatter than most of the men on the ship.

He was almost running a charcoal from being completely honest. You know what I'm selling out? Let go of me. You dumpy boobs, move them over. I see. What scene do I want you to increase the deal right now, Bobby? Do you have any? I've seen it. I can't. Move them over see what scene do I want you to do right now Bobby? Do you have any do you have any that scene I can't I mean let me think

I think we all need to be in a scene. Oh, I know it. Yeah, we all have let's do something in a breakfast club Good breakfast club. We're all in it Well, I'll pick a character. I clearly Will be John Bender, my spirit animal. I mean, you definitely dress like him. Well, Louise, our guest, he should pick. Yeah, you pick next. Oh, I'm definitely the teacher. Yeah, that's right.

No, I thought a estivez. Oh, hell yeah. I love the way you say that. Yeah, I thought he was Emilio Estevez for sure Yeah, all right your Emilio Estevez so who am I? My the girl why might one of the girls your alley she actually maybe I'm alley. Yes Allie she speaks once at the end of the move yeah, that's me You're Molly ring wall your Molly ring wall for sure. Yeah, I's me. Yeah, I can do the hair. Oh shit. Yeah, you're Molly Ringwall. You're Molly Ringwall. For sure. Yeah, I'll be the teacher. I can be the teacher.

Let me be the teacher. Is there a seam or all of them talk? Yeah, when they do their group therapy at the end and they tell everybody their problems, everybody has a monologue. There you go. Oh, please bring up the breakfast club monologues. Oh, so Christine, we can do the thing where I'm like, did you blah, blah, you go shut up. I know. So I'm so shut up. Christine's chest is getting hot. Oh my god, she's blotching up hard. She's blotching up, man. All right. Lose blotching earlier.

Everybody's blotching in this room today. It's a blotching room. Over just talk. All right, well, she's picking that today. It's a blotchy room. I just talked. All right, well, she's picking that up. You have a new special out. Let's plug that. Yes, I do. Yeah, it just came out on YouTube. It's called Present tense.

I funded it myself. I did it all myself. Took me a long time to finish it. It was finding out. And people really reacting well to it. It's been up four days. Already got 120,000 views. Wow.

So, that's great. That's pretty great. And where did you shoot it? I shot it at the comedy Fort and Fort Collins Colorado. Oh cool. Yeah, it's a really cool club. It's kind of like a mix between a comedy works in Denver and the seller and like it's like small but tiered and somehow.

Is it where is it again? What? Fort Collins, about an hour I think north of Denver. Oh, that's great. It's a great club. It's a great club. I love Colorado too, but the lady will never use me again for some reason. Go to four Collins. I'll go, I might go that, was that? You do.

I don't know. I tried to. You blow up the toilet in the condom? No. Did you try on the night and shining armors? Can I tell you what it is, I think? What? The last night there.

You know, they usually have like 15 comics on. They treat it like a showcase. Oh yeah, they try and blow the headliner out of the water. It's like the whole thing in the local, the local comics to do. Yeah, they'll have like five guys on before you do in 10 minutes each or whatever. Of local references. And and yeah, really. Yeah.

So the dude who was hosting, there was these girl, this lady in the front row drunk fucked up and she was yapping. He's fucking with the fucking with the fuck. Then he goes way to Robert Kelly comes out. You're done way to Bobby Kelly comes out. He's gonna fucking get you. And I'm like, why are you doing that? Just kick them out. Go to the fucking club the manager. If somebody's talking and being a nuisance, get him. So I went out talking talk, kept yelling. I go, listen, You got a shot to fuck up and there was um I

Think I I said something. I was like there was these four girls behind them young girls I think I think lesbians and they I could tell they were enjoying themselves I think they liked each other. Why are they all coming with one Subaru? They all had show here. They looked like they picked for the Yankees in 1870. They had overalls with paint on them. I think they were redoing a bench.

There were bloomers instead of a indoor. They owned a deli in town. They made their own brownies and they sold my old flowers. They all have guitars and those clips that go on the next of the bars. They're a little coy on me. So I looked at, I looked at, I was, I'm going to attack this thing. I literally looked at my girl, I'm sorry, you're going to hate me. And I went shut the fuck.

And I just snapped and they finally kicked her out. But I think that might have been, I think, I don't know, maybe that was somebody she knew. I don't know. Wow, that was it. It's like, you got in trouble because the club didn't do what they were supposed to do. I don't know, dude.

I don't know, maybe, because sometimes they're like, you know, fuck him, or whatever, because it's one person that owns the club It's not a let's not a group of people. Yeah, it's one lady and it's her club So she might have been like go fuck him You know and that could have been her cousin or daughter's friend. I don't know who knows I could have fucked up, but I've never been back, but I love Colorado. I would love to go back Go to the town. I'll put you in touch with the club. I'll definitely do that. Fuck it. I'll go around those people

you know Christine definitely has been looking up that script and has definitely been Go to the stand I'll put you in touch with the club. I'll definitely do that. Fuck it. I'll go around those people. You know Christine definitely hasn't looking up that script and has definitely been Emailing in a bomb threat to serious XM Did you get it? Yeah, I have it. I just don't know if I have the scene So anyways, that's awesome. You shut you special and who's and who shot it for you? Do you I put like I decided to do it like two weeks before. I hooked up with a local producer then in Ron Doyle and I just threw it all together.

It was pretty camera, one camera. Six cameras, six cameras. Yeah, yeah, but it was like, yeah, it was all, it was all very last minute. I just had to, at the time it was like, man, it was my last headlining weekend of the year and it was in May. And I was like, I think this is it, this is the chance.

Luckily, business picked up this year and working a lot more, but at the time it was like, this is it, this is the chance. Luckily, business picked up this year and working a lot more. But at the time, it was like, this is it. I got to throw all my money in. This is my chance and I did it. And it's so far, it's kind of working out. So. And do you find people showing up at the gigs more from seeing it?

It's just just came out last week. So it's like, I'm getting lots of comments. I hopefully people come out. But the first test will be tomorrow. I'm at the stress factory. So we'll see what happens. It will do. It'll be good to use. It's in your fucking hilarious. So I mean, like the stress factory, so we'll see what happens. It will, dude. It'll be, you'll see, it's in your fucking hilarious stuff.

I mean, like, there's a, it's going to do well. That's all, those numbers are great. Right. I think it's, I think it's a good sign. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Great sign, dude. That many days, I guess, 100,000. A lot of people go back, I'd say. This is when we start talking about, no, no, no, you just let this happen. You don't want to get involved in it. Okay. It's going to get bad you don't want to get involved It's gonna get bad. It's gonna be its own little scene that they're gonna do in a second So just stay with me keep your eye contact with me

Yeah, we're dead Was it who opened for you anybody? My friend Lane Leon, you know, and he's like a he's from New Orleans. He moved there. He's great He does like he's Cajun from New Orleans area and actually does like bits about being Cajun. It's really funny. So he talks like that. He doesn't, but he can do a character of it. He does this really funny cartoon online about a Cajun jugal. And he, and he draws a cartoon. It's super fun. I will now get down, push it down on my face now. They're going to get a fight. It's going to be now. I'll live that. You come down here for 9999. I'll

lick your couch and how you aren't sit on my face now. Happy wedding day woman. That's how you shit. It's basically exact. That's that's pretty much all he does. You get a bowl of gumbo put it in my face and I'll get my finger right in your bum bum now. Come on down down. Oh, I'll see you. I'll see. I'll see. Come on down now. Me and J are the fucking gigaloo down in a swamp here. You get yourself a gator bite and you get your pussy lift So shit Dan Soder That's the only occasion for you I don't I don't know who that name is but I tell you right now for 999 and I'll lift your pussy and suck a tittit

And I'll go to any wedding you got me at. Thank you everybody. Thank you very much. Christine's not trying. I mean she's trying. Somebody just walked in. What's up? Yeah. Oh, that's what's your name's bodyguard. Who was that? There's an on air sign outside. No, it happens a lot. We just don't respect this there's an on-air sign outside. No? It happens a lot. We just don't respect this at all. Yeah, and they love us, too.

They talked about that at the big meeting, right, Jacob? That's right. That's right. That was a lie. That was Jacob. Big gym building. Big gym told me that. We got talked about it at the big meeting.

Let's get behind the boys. They called us the boys, by the way. That's nice. That's our thing. That's what they think of it. The boys. The boys. Do you want to see Christine do this right here? Yeah, what is it? There we go. It's Claire and John. Who's that? When she's looking through. She's Molly Ringwald looking through his pictures and his wallet. Okay, go ahead. Who's John? Yo, John. Yo, John. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Did I just nail that song that no was beautiful did you do the beginning though? I think I nailed it I'm really good at that note. I think I did it for the guy from Simple Minds in here and he went like this

Sure, I got okay, that's that's great, but I think I just flew did you hear it? Yeah, but you're you're not performing right now here Wow, okay, wow I mean I guess you're not performing I Wow, okay wow I mean I guess you're performing I get you the director definitely perform yeah, I'm trying on air I think I'm getting paid to perform Just saying you're not getting paid to sing and had I known I would have given you some reverb. Okay All right, thanks Lou Good lose angry at us today? I'm not. Not me. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. to me and you like a like I'm your shitsoo and you like look at me and it took you suck the life out of me. Well shitsoo in your Japanese workhounds are today. Yeah a lot today.

I'm a big shitsoo fan. I'm a big shitsoo fan. I think of another dog name that's funny. The bunny's dog name. Tell me another dog name that's funny. There isn't. Thank you. Labadoodle.

Sorry. There was. There was. Labadoodle. I think Golden Doodle's funny. Anything with the doodles. Good. I apologize Christine was to keep this doodle talk going she doesn't want to read this scene at all What are you afraid about you're intimidated by my great acting? You are a good actor. I've been in the background of three things in my entire career. Here we go. Good in them

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present to you Claire and John. Are these all your girlfriends? Some of them. What are the others? Some I consider girlfriends and some I just consider. Consider what? I just consider. Consider what? Consider whether or not I want to hang out with them. You don't believe in one guy, one girl. Do you? Yeah, that's the way it should be.

Not for me. How come? Hey, how come you got so much shit in here? How come you have so many girlfriends? I asked you first. I never throw anything away. Either do I? Pretty boring scene. No, it wasn't a boring scene. You put nothing into it. You just said words. I think that was equally bad. Bulletin. I think that was beautiful.

Let me read he's horrific. Let me and Louis do it. Yeah. It'll be electric. Let's do it. Let me and Louis try that. You be clear. I'll be I'll be clear. You be John. Okay. I'll be the girl. All right. Can you bring it up over here? Can we get it up online?

Yeah. Match screen. All right. I'm not going to sell. I was also impersonating the way he said the lines. You know the movie better than me. So this isn't going to have to come for me naturally. I'm now doing a new impression of your impression.

Nice. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m Some of them. What are the others? Some I consider girlfriends, some I just consider. Consider what? Consider whether or not I want to hang out with them. You don't believe in one guy, one girl? Do you? Yeah. That's the way it should be. Not for me.

How come? How come you got so much shit in here? How come you have so many girlfriends? See Right, he was better. Oh, sorry. I asked you first I never throw anything away Neither do I I'd say the Claire part was a dangerous step up for sure I mean, I didn't know what the scene was wasn't over yet. I thought you never saw births clip before

I just it's not one of those movies. I have like memorized I mean you get me with some other ones class acts with the kid in play. I know a lot of lines from that To was that one the Wayne's brothers white girls Like I'll kill that I'll kill that I know a couple lines from my girls Of course you do you so hot Fucking J nose shit. You like what how did you watch that and memorize it? No, we've ever said so far. I think I know a class act. I don't know if I know lines I remember the movie it was on cable like over and over again,

and I just watched it over and over again. It was the classic. The party kid in the nerd had to switch places. It was kid in plays last ditch before it was like going away. But it was good. It wasn't terrible. I don't, I haven't seen it recently,

but it was at the time I enjoyed it. They're good actors. A house party. Yeah, classic. Yeah, they redid it, right? With Santino's. I wouldn't, they should even time I enjoyed it. They're good actors. A house party. Yeah, classic. Yeah, they redid it, right? With Santino's. I wouldn't, they should even call that a remake. It was bad.

It's not a remake. It's insanely bad. It was nothing. It was not a good comedy or a fun like teen. It was just, Who was in it? Like nobody. Like it was really like a,

You know how they keep remaking movies and making them black? What is no one gonna do some black movies and make them white? Like maybe that would be interesting. I really thought about that, a fucking like a boys in the hood, just like a white version that doesn't make any sense. And Friday we just call it Sunday. Yeah. We got a job, but it's you off.

It's Sunday. We do the weekend. And it's spent with their families at a park. Yeah, they really should, yeah, dead presidents, the white version. Michael Max probably not going to work white. That was my favorite was that was Richard Dreifers never got the memo. It's one of the funniest things that happened in a speech,

speech play, an interview recently, when he was told about black people and not being, they're not allowed to play anything that you're not anymore. And he was like, so you're telling me, I could never ever play like a black man and something. And they're like, did Richard Dreifers said that? Yeah, very recently.

Richard Drefist sadly has kind of gone a little crazy later in life. Oh yeah, yeah. Really? He is shorter than short. And he got a little chubby too. But I saw him walking around on fit 46 than eighth and ninth. The man's a good.

No, he's a great actor and I love him too, but he's gone a little little crazy later. Oh man's a kid. No, he's a great actor and I love him too, but he's gone a little crazy later. Oh, the thing we were doing, we were sitting on Bill Mars podcast and he's like not in the chair almost. Fucking Bill Mars in Asshole. His setup makes everybody look like a hunk of dump of shit. Those stupid chairs, the ones they have in the casting rooms,

when you go and it just sucks the life out of you. You ever go pitch a show? And they have the casting rooms, when you go and it just sucks the life out of you. You ever go and pitch a show, and they have the awesome set up, comfortable chair, and they have the suck the life out of you couch. So you're literally lying down, you can feel your tits. Now the show's about a guy who, I'm just gonna go home. I don't got it, I lost it. Yeah, I forgot the show.

I stand up, I would stand up. I go in and just be like, like I'm gonna sit on that couch because it sucks the life out of me. Yeah, that Bill Maher has those chairs. It's like, yeah, dude, it's comfortable to you. You weigh a buck 10. You know what I mean?

It's a tiny guy. There's a tiny guy. I saw that play. There's that play about the making of jaws. You guys see that? I'm going to see it. It's good. It's really good.

The shark is broken. Yeah, yeah. And so there's a guy playing Richard drivers. It's already. It's really good. The shark is broken. Yeah. And so there's a guy playing Richard drivers. I saw it already. Yeah, I saw it. The guy playing Richard drivers. At first you're like, man, this guy doesn't look like Richard drivers.

This is Richard drivers. And then I tell you, 10 minutes in, it's like, wow, this is Richard drivers. He's that good. It's just really good. He's Puerto Rican, right? I think it's the Beatles juice guy. I think the guy who played Beatles juice is now playing Richard drivers. Michael Keaton?

No, no. The Beatles just the Beetlejuice play. Gotcha. I was joking. I saw you. There he is right there. Yeah. He's a little, I mean, I love him. Does another person look more like their last name? It's kind of like a real Dryface. Yeah, they make me vomit. No one should be telling me that I have to give in to the latest most current idea of what morality is.

And I'm sorry, I don't think that there's a minority or a majority in the country that has to be catered to like that. Lauren S'Olivier was the last white actor to play a fellow. And he played a black man. Am I being told that I will never have a chance to play a black man? Are we crazy? Says we're so fragile that we don't can't have our films. It is funny. It is funny because every other race, everybody else can play a white guy. I don't you can't go

the you can't you you cannot play it black. I don't dispute. Yeah. What he's saying even I know what he's trying to say. I just know it's like he said it wrong. Yeah. He's not how the world's hearing it. Yeah, he said it wrong. Also, I don't think it should be fucked up if there's a play of Malcolm X at a play. And there's not, do you know what I mean? There's like a white kid.

This is a bother me. He's talking about, I think it's like, it's probably weird. He's talking about back when black people couldn't act. They wouldn't let the act. They let white people play. Yeah, they didn't let American Indians be Indians. You had to get an Italian guy or a Greek guy with a huge nose to play an Indian.

Well, the one thing is the different, it's a different time. But they're doing that with Jews now. They're having, they're having all these, what's his name with the prosthetic nose? You seen that? No. Bradley.

I heard the Cooper. Yeah, Bradley Cooper. With the prosthetic nose. The last few big Jewish roles have a huge nose. You seen that? Bradley. I have the Cooper. Yeah, Bradley Cooper with the prosthetic nose. The last few big Jewish rolls. I've got a big nose already, doesn't he? What? Bradley Cooper's got a little bit of nose, doesn't he? See the perfect nose? No, but this is he's playing. Who's he's playing? He doesn't have a, you know, that nose. They gave him a huge beak. He doesn't eat like a chicken. Yeah, look, Jew face like chicken. There, look, jufe. Yeah, that's what they call me. What role is he playing?

I'm gonna burn steam. I'm gonna burn steam. Yeah, well listen, you got a brand new special coming out. We got to take a break, dude. I'll look at that with this news. Yeah, we do. We got to take a break, dude. Listen, you got a brand new special coming out.

That's right. It's out. It's out now. I keep saying that. It's out on YouTube. Check it out. Louis cats Bobby, why don't you talk about his special in the present tense you have a special that came out right now. Thank you. It's the present tense. How funny is that? You knew special present tense streaming on YouTube right now 100 over 100,000 views.

He is fucking hilarious. Please go check him out. He's one of the best. And uh, big J is going to be a Cobb's in San Francisco, the fourth, the fifth. And then he's going to be in Milwaukee, Philadelphia, Cleveland, Houston for tickets. And all other tour dates, please go to bigjcombady.com. Robert Kelly at the Comedy Club in Kansas City this week in October 27th and 28th. After that Boston Massachusetts Potstown PA, Baltimore, Danya Beach, Florida for tickets

and all tour dates. We'll be right back to say goodbye. We're hanging out with Louis Kats. It's the Bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates

coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo