The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bullied to the Max

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

The gang is excited to see the new Top Gun Maverick movie and in preparation, Jay showed Christine the original over the weekend. After seeing some particularly intense bullying on Stranger Things, callers are asked to give their own stories of bullying!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder Smiling with the rising sun Who would be always in the burger? It'd be a gift from God if you woke up and could sing a Michael and a cobble Do you not sing like him now? Just pull up You gotta get to the part Let me take a swig

This is always in an impressionist's act, the part really, let me take a swig This is always an impressionists act the most impressive part when they do it perfectly You're becoming him You ran qs if you were to say nothing I would have been the mayor or whatever they have I would have been the pirate head the chair pirate What a stupid place Key West when it dumb place it was a weird time but What a stupid place Key West, what a dumb place it was a weird guitar, but Jesus cruts odd Odd place everybody this is the bonfire. I'm back fire it up. I'm back as a land lover. I'm back Key West get ready

Key West get ready. I don't think Jay's no with you Coming back taking over that pitch for the fucking free-willed bicycle. What a wacky town. The bonfire. Fact in talk series 6103. I'm Big Joker. So in that handsome hilarious son of a bitch's day in soda. I so coordinated today. I did. I didn't mean to him that I left the house. I was like, look at you. From the flow up. I just wanted the shirt and the shoes and and then I noticed the hat, and I was like, do you have the hat, fucking the pants, the whole thing works. Or the linen shorts, should I say? Like an old Latin man.

I prepped my hat with my shoes. Ooh, didn't know. Did I nail that time? You did. Bap, bap, bap, bap. Need more backup than this, DJ Lou. I'm gonna be a fast free free. I mean, backup support, emotional, like say how great it is.

I think you nailed it except for that second last time. Yeah. All the honest with you. I got the grog. Turn it out on me. Let me hold it in on. We have Jacob atop. We have our Black King, the Black Tiger, Lewis.

John. So. Christine Mariavins, DJ Lewitsky. I watched Top Gun 1 yesterday. Get your ex-girl ready, Jacob. When you see it, we're supposed to see it Thursday. Here's what I'll tell you, Jacob. We can sort this out on air and I'll take opinions from the group here. It's playing at two times in IMAX at two different theaters. Same times at both theaters, both IMAX.

Those times are 7 PM and 10 PM, Kipps Bay and Lincoln Square, which is both kind of their opposite directions. IMAX theater, for sure. You get an 18 minutes of commercials without a doubt. True. And we get out of here at 56. And pre and you get trailers. And we get hauled out and go and make a seven o'clock

eye max for sure. Oh, no, I can't. Why, oh, you got to get extra stuff. I have close production stuff, but I'm not even gonna be close to done it. So maybe, so we'll do 10 PM then. Yeah. Come over after work, we'll sit,

we'll look at the window together have a glass of wine Maybe watch flyovers maybe watch some flyby's maybe we'll watch some blue angel stuff on the TV It's so I'm I get to say though rewatching yesterday for the first time in its entirety since I was teenager probably top gun What a fast moving ridiculously stupid movie. It's so stupid. Did you watch it front to back? I watch the whole thing. They move that story along so fast. The third time ever That day encounter each other Tom Cruise and Kelly McIllis she goes I'm afraid okay that people are gonna see That I've completely fallen for you

Three day you're fucking sc scary me lady the first hair you supposed to be an instructor here and you're moving quick First time she bailed on him to go hang with somebody else second time she was kind of dressed him down But gave him her address number he showed up he pulled the big dog move didn't fuck her and then the next time He's on the porch. Yes eating grapes. Yeah talking about this reading and then he was mean to her Mean to her he just dipped he left without if I she wanted to fuck and you can see he leaves and she like punches herself in the Chanch with a pillow When he asked if he could take a shower. Yeah, good. No, but then he says I'm going to take a shower when he left and he No, I found no, but then he says I'm going to take a shower and he left and he and she was like she was all you can see She was all good stuff. Yeah, yeah, she's not well to smell the sweat on him. Absolutely

so he left and and the next day at the class She was sort of mean to him and then he leaves pissed She follows him literally almost killing four or five people a room. He flies through a light on his bike, or a motorcycle, and she in some little sports car drives through a red light with four cars. I mean, they should be like, like spin out skids. No cops and about nothing, no problems at all.

She hunts them down to say that she's completely fallen for him. They fuck. He introduced her to Goose's wife. I forgot, Goose gets killed in the fucking stupid training exercise. Yeah, the juiceless death ever. It's the ejection button. Breaks his neck. But it's like when I broke my shoulder, it's like when I broke my shoulder in football practice.

I'm like, I'm gonna have a good story. It moves so quick. Like, Slider and Iceman hate him. And then one flight later when she gives Tom Cruise shit in the class, she's like, okay, you were successful, but I would use this example of what not to do. Slider leads down, he goes, best flying should have ever seen in my life, man, I'm like, so what you guys are cool. Then he says he's gonna quit. And then he comes back and does perfectly in an actual dog fight. And then Iceman, like Johnny from Karate

Kid, is just like, all right, all cool. Everything's great. You're the best. And it just, it goes nowhere so quickly. But they also, all those 80s movies follow the same kind of cocaine trajectory where like the guy was writing right in in a hotel on below and he's like okay so then she's just fucking flying through and she's trying to get him wrong. She's causing a fucking car accident but she's fucking in love with a man. She's fucking this guy. Well they play Highway of the Danger Zone seven eight times. Is there any other song in this movie? I've heard this one like four times. It goes every time they take off, they play it.

I'm notoriously bad. I'm notoriously bad with words, specifically lyrics. You're great at it. You're great at lyrics. List is going to movie quotes. But this is my favorite song to not know the lyrics and sing. Oh, it's a similar song. Something they mock at us to know. Mark's supposed to be. Summary say something that more cast to know.

Yeah, that's what it's called. More cast to know. What was it, more cast to know? Summary say something that more cast to know. High of the more cast to know. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. High of the more cast to know.

But it's a good one to piss people off. Just for myself remembering my cast to know now and then you can do it though how way to do it though it's always the good through the danger zone i don't realize it too yeah i suck also the scene when uh when they're seeing goodness gracious great balls of fire together

Tom Cruise is he's so little his mouth doesn't open far enough can you bring that up Christine? It's really weird. You bring it up. Great balls of hot. His mouth never opens all the way. When I was a kid I thought he had such a game and now I rewatched it recently too and I might have mentioned this before he follows her into the bathroom. He doesn't insanely cringed. Before that even he even has like a fuck he tells

to do what this is. He goes this bar he goes he basically goes like you'd have to fucking not have a cock to not get laid This bar and then he sings that song to her and sits down and she goes do you done this move before he's like twice And she's had the first time. Go he goes crash and burn. She was had the second time. Go he goes I'll tell you tomorrow, but it's looking pretty good And then she walks away and she should also if you wait turn this up and look at this first dead His mouth doesn't open for us Yeah, he's got Joe list mouth Did that yeah, so weird she I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,. Could you be quiet? Yeah, I came here for the brisket. I'm only in town for an afternoon.

Yeah, I appreciate you doing your exercise. Yeah, I saw this place in the food network. They didn't mention the local assholes fucking put on a concert for nobody. Well, I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen. You're gonna go there. You're gonna get one of the best burritos you've ever had. But some fly boys are gonna fuck it up.

I've thought about that in the Roadhouse movie, do when they're at the diner and he's dancing and singing in the middle of the aisles. I'm like, if I was at a diner in the morning, I'd go, why is this guy like, like, is he right here again with that girl singing all my exes live in Texas? I'm just trying to have some eggs and coffee man. Yeah, like the Vince Vaughn scene in Swingers is charming when you're in your early 20s and Vince Vaughn stomping on a table being like doing that. But if you're eating there, he be like, this guy's fucking ob obnoxious if we could speak about things being unrealistic for a second and

this is without spoiler alerts without spoilers I would say because I'm not even done the seven episodes of Stranger Things yet did you watch Marty I watched him I watched it you watched it I'm on a see episode four it's funny to say unbelievable things, in Stranger Things though, because you're like, yeah, it didn't none of that. No, this forget monsters. Listen, I'm okay with suspending this belief for the grandiose wacky shit. Sure.

Parallel dimensions, monsters. Even the monsterness, one seems like there's just a new monster, type of monster, okay, I guess. I'm willing to accept all that. Here's what I'm having a problem with. When, call or topic, if you got something, by the way, I'm willing to accept all that here's what I'm having a problem with when Caller topic if you got something by the way sorry black Lou Tell me a world you've ever been in where the bullying was as communal as it was against this

Inarguably pretty at least girl And the neighborhood who's very very nice probably not even off the boys can probably play with their titties and shit if they want to She has no idea what's going on. Yes. And they pick on her and the fucking adults are in on it. It's carry level. No, it's not carry level. I'll tell you why. Carry level.

Carry level. That's what keeps coming up and I keep correcting people who don't remember this properly. Yes. The group of girls in school in the beginning, fuck with her, I was talking with Louis Bethes, they throw the tampons at everything. They start fucking with her, a bunch of the girls leave. A bunch of the girls in the shower actually leave, there aren't like cool, yeah, they're just like

not part of that group of girls. Those girls are fucking with her. That they're all gonna laugh at you, the scene at the end, but you're referencing, I think, Jacob, when they're all laughing or when she's covering pigs blood, she's seeing that. When they show the actual crowd, the crowds horrified, they can't believe it, when they're all laughing when she's covering pigs blood she's seeing that when they show the actual crowd the crowds horrified they can't believe it like they're all like what the fuck was that but she sees them all laughing here in the

mom they're all gonna laugh you so not even carry the car had a woman murder a town bring a town to it's these and kill all of its children and force her will was not as bad bullying as this girl has gotten in this school. Who all gets? I've never in my life seen somebody push like a clearly cool kid, push a nerdy person or a person who's clearly nervous of them on the ground or knock their books out of hand and been like, yeah, you fucking asshole idiot.

Yeah, they're so, you know, it's not her just damn Joe's got a good bully bully's friend laugh Joe's got a good laugh to be the little guy next to job of the DJ's first few in those first few episodes it was insane the DJ when he's like turn off the song And he's like sorry man, and you're like dude, sorry man. We're we're communally bullying this stupid girl She's in our suicide pool We all come together to get to get a blower brains out Better hope she doesn't have any special powers Like a boy comes over and splashes milkshake on her she falls in the ground everyone's like yeah

One person's like dude dude. Yeah, the fuck is wrong with you Joe. It's not funny Also the real the chose top laughing. I know you and your bully group outside But he when she you know spoiler turn it off or just turn the channel real quick when she, you know, spoiler, turn it off or just turn the channel real quick, when she hits her with the roller skate, everyone's like so mortified in a way that you know, I think it's insane. You're like, yeah. How could you have like, I don't like, it's, it's, it's, it's, I've hit my ledge of torture. You guys just watch your dump of milkshake on me and everyone's skate around me

pointing at me. Do you guys don't follow fucking thing. Do you not follow stories like whoa out of left field much? Yeah, it's a direct reaction to something. What was this girl raised in a lab mind fighting other children? What are you already mass murder people at a place? Even if every kid in there had no humanity, the boys, one of them would have come over to try and suck up to her.

Yeah, just like you know what, this is my time to go in and be the savior. I heard that's the story of how hand jobs were made. That woman started jerking up, she was like, I don't think of that. And this is where I say people can call in of Boeing stories because I'd like. There's so much, I'm so sorry, there's so many. We've never got jerked off outside of a roller rink. Oh God. You're so hot. Why are they so mean? They're all jealous of you. You might have we use your weird knit address. Listen, I've bullied I bullied once way to be I got my dick handed to me also, but I'll tell you this Matt Nelson

We in 11 12 years old no more dude if you're out there in the world, come see me. It'd be funny if Matt Nelson's beat me up again. He's got a huge, he never stopped training from that day forward. With Rearners when you see the bully kids say something nice to his adults and they just look around and you're like, well, then it looks like that's settled. Yeah, but in your head, like,

and you know you own me, right? Because you're walking around up. When they're normal adults, you don't want to go back and go, call me a Fatsy Boombalatsi now. You know what? You call me that once. 27 years ago. I go, in that part, dude.

You start pulling your finger like a little kid. You said I had an alien head, and you kicked him back in my chair until I tried to fight you and then I got suspended. He's like, yeah sorry man I was in a bad place. I was getting molested. You're like oh you don't know. Oh fuck really? Oh my god.

Well yeah like totally you should have picked on me. I've I've said I bullied once I tried to bully Matt Nelson that worked out terribly for me. I've I've I said I bullied once I tried to bully Matt Nelson that worked out terribly for me. The only time I've tried bullying someone I had locked a kid in a teacher immediately caught me and they're like you go to the dean. That's sort of what happened with me. Put him in a headlock. And the library security guard came out and was like crazy. I happened right for the libraries. He goes he goes get out of here. I've already called the key key said I already called the cops and my mom me come at home But with my mom to my mom with the cops. It's not gonna go good

My mom wasn't Fucking 64 you know, I mean she was fucking 40 or you know, maybe like mid like late 30s And I was like so I couldn't come home the cops so I let him go and just started walking and then he just jumped on my back and wailed on me. It was horrible. But that was, and then people were like, you're gonna go fight him again tomorrow. I'm like, now I get it. I'm like, I'm stupid to me.

I didn't even have a problem with him. I just did it because I was like, he's a new kid. He seems nervous. He's about my size. So it's like, no one's gonna, what doesn't look so like, because I always thought a sense of like, well I wouldn't just go pick on like an obvious, like dorky kid.

Yeah. Cause then you're being the bully. I'm like, I wanna like, like more than I wanted to become like a tough kid, I thought maybe it would be known as, well, but anyway I lost and got my ass kicked. As far as bullying, being bullied, I have,

but never on a mass scale like that ever and the only other time I say it does make me laugh though because the time it worked out so perfect Before my wedding When I got married I may have told him the show before but you know a lot of we had a big wedding Me and Carl we had a lot of comics at our way. I missed it. I want to say I missed the J Wedding launch by six months maybe because Dave Smith had to come as somebody's plus one Just put it out that's how long that was yeah, cuz Lewis was first in then Dave then me. I mean, where was Nate was Nate before Dave? Yes, the way Lewis Nate Dave me

As far as like the meeting people and something haven't come in yet. Where we were the J and I line where it would be insane These people are not at my wedding Do you know I mean there's a group of people who were like what you know, I mean But be and people that were it Julia McCullough was there. You know, I mean like so Gary Goldman was there really yeah Vekky on your best man. I mean You see I mean yeah, I didn't even know Vekky on that. Yeah, that's what I mean. So it was But all these people came to my wedding and so it was a coming up and like, I guess people were just kind of like,

there's just like a talk around comedy and getting ready for the thing. Sheba Mason of all people who I've had the problem with Sheba Mason, we're more I feel bad about this, but it was hilarious. The time was, because it really became stranger think, Jacob, you turn the heat on? Yes.

Going down, this is stranger thing. It's really upside down. I'm setting out, Jacob loves it. Poor Saul Klondrick. He real? So she, but Mason in your way. She texted me. I think and also asked me, and person person where I was blown away by it.

She was just like why am I not? If like she's like she wanted she was asking me to be invited to my wedding which was so bizarre. I mean was she have putting on a stick or so? I don't know but whatever was she was asking and seemed pretty serious about it and I was like that's crazy. She goes everyone's going it's like the place to be. I go that's a shitty way to look at it. Yeah. Is it like the big, I go, it's the people who are, like, that I, I'm like, people that are close to me

and whatever, like I'm sorry, she, but we don't know what you know what you mean? Yeah, when people start to network, and it's your life, it's so funny. You're like, I'm getting married and they're like, well, guess what, I need it to hand out business cards. But I'll never forget this night, you talk about something turning into feeling

like stranger things bullying, even though so funny, was she was standing sort of, it just happened to work out, she's standing there like doing other people or kind of hearing this and being like, she but that's crazy. So there's like a circle forming around her,

of her being in the middle kind of like, defending herself like verbal. Again, this isn't like- This isn't at the wedding, this is at- This is at the Comedy Sauron, right? Okay. I say this because I don't want, I'm painting a picture, it is physically turning into that situation.

At the same time, she's in no danger and no one's like, it's comedy ball-busting. Is what this is? Greg Roguel throws paint, a milky- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is so funny. So, so then people start walking out of the comedy seller like the crown

No, just randomly like we're in a circle around her and people I think Metzger is there and going like she Are you crazy? What are you just asking to come to a you ask to come to a wedding? It's so weird like Questioning you by the way for anyone that has never felt it you feel like you're getting mowed down by a tank Kurt just comes at you with questions and you're like, eyes are all big. You're like, fuck, I don't know. I'm fucking scared, Kurt. I'm scared of you.

So he, so we're all standing in the circle. And then people start coming out. And I remember it just, the three that was, when it was Rocco first, Rocco's toe. And Rocco, I don't think she knew Rocco. Maybe she did, she don't think she had any idea that I've just happened to know Rocco at that point for 10 years. And I'm imagining at this point, Rocco's got home field advantage knowing you for 10

years, and also P.Cock guy confidence at this time. You P.Cock guy confidence. Did you get in my wedding with an open button down shirt and a jacket and like fucking converse on and he still looked awesome. Yeah, Joe always talks about the rules of it. He talks about going home and just cooking naked. No, it wasn't naked. But he came out with his boner and rubbed it in the Joe's.

He got mad at Joe for not stirring the gravy. He was rocking. That's so cool. And then he goes, Joe, what are you doing? The gravy is going to burn. And then he goes over and goes, come here.'s gonna burn and then he goes over we go's come here Come here Joe. I got to show you and he stands behind Joe with his morning. Ha I mean It's pushing the waistband of his tight bikini underwear out

Like if I'm touching his stomach. It's breaking through the seal. Yeah, and he's rubbing on Joe's back And he's holding Joe's arm around his arm and going you got star a Joe you get in there like that It made me laugh so hard. Oh my god Joke by the way, I just realized that joke and play Paul Giamatti's son easily. Oh god. Yes. That's like the role. He was born to play. Yeah, I have to put him in Paul G Thousands on a new show called thousands We're dropping down So so Rocco walks out while we're all standing around Shiba Mason and at this point is there a full circle around her and everyone's

Like it now But she's definitely making the argument for like I don't know it's like I don't know if she knows Rocco to me whatever was was I just go. Hey Rockles What are you doing on November? Oh whatever and he goes you know dumb call me your wedding and everyone goes like And then they're kind of pointing it she'd been dancing around and then Somebody else comes out. I forget I forget the second person was it came out, but it's like hey So and so what you know, it's like where are you gonna be? I think I'm gonna go whatever's going to your wedding Then the best one is, at the time, Vecchio was dating a waitress from the seller.

Yeah. And just, and she was this plus one for my wedding. And so, she didn't, my best man's date. So it's like, she's coming. But this girl has no idea, she just sees a waitress kicking off work we're like taking off her apron and putting her like you know whatever pen away and so they get and I go she was cool enough to get it I was like I was like random comedy club waitress goes what are you doing on November 7th she goes Jay we're going to your wedding it's like

and it was standing in a circle like that dude Kurt was like overdoing it He was like dancing the blood guns. You're out something like So Damn that was fun, but that was bullying in that way, but at the same time Which now would like literally at the same moment if somebody came over If it's like there was a line to be crossed if somebody was like yeah, you stupid fucking bitch You're not going to his wedding you'd be like dude dude Like we're all kind of laughing and bting her balls because she is like you're making it's like don't make her

right now it's actually wrong in this wacky argument it's like yeah so it's like it's like if you shove her or call her a stupid fucking bitch you're like all right she's trying to like relax she's trying to push her career through your wedding sure so she was funny to do the thing we did yeah, you know, I mean I just I we have I know we have a bunch of bully stories But we'll get to someone but don't even want to know why Will says we shouldn't go to what theater? I bet he's gonna say kips bay No kips bay or Lincoln Square that's for bed bugs will what what's up, buddy? with theater should we not go to you should not go to space theater why that's the other stuff it's it's dirty and the show's really start on time

and the highlight knows that I don't know if that's like a post pandemic thing on law but I was sure what it is like two years running the whole theater. Yeah, show not starting on time is a good thing for us. I have AMC Stubbs Gold, whatever that is. So Jacob, we walk right through to get sodas and water. I'm sure in whatever other boring snack you're going to get. And then, but I think because it also starts late, it's probably good to head over to Kips Bay too for that reason.

That's in the city. Kips Bay? Yeah, a Kips Bay is the 10. It's late is probably good to head over to Kipps Bay too for that reason Kipps Bay, yeah, okay, today is the 10 Well, they both set if we go to 10. Oh, we have to go to 10. That's good to 10. We're gonna like in square then yeah We're gonna like in square. We're gonna like a square. Well, don't worry. Well, thank you though It's around the car west side story. Hey, exactly. You just turn it turns out he used to be the manager of the day He, I left fuck them. Yeah, they fired me. They fired me because I ate my weight and Bop gone. Oh, I'm sorry. But, um, yes, Jacob. Well, getting back to Top Gun, uh, sure, briefly, uh, I texted you and you didn't respond. Damn. I was probably watching Top Gun hurts, don't it? No, the other day people who don't respond. This is the pain. I said I'm very interested in finding out why 30 years after Top Gun he still has no respect from the Navy and is still considered dangerous. I didn't he be considered a

Absolute hero in the greatest pilot of all time. I have not seen Maverick. I'm hoping to see it. Maybe this weekend. I want to see it soon. That is if they do not and I think people who have seen it will probably tell you they have to answer that. I mean when the commercial is I didn't want you for this job Maverick. Yeah. I was forced to take to call you back to top guns. Because that was says commercial. Yeah, John Hamm is saying that. He's forced to bring you back. I watched the long one and I was like, they kind of shed a little light that he's been fucking off. He's just a real good face. He's just so good at flying.

Let's weird him because he was, again, because I just watched the yesterday. At the end, they ask him, they go, you were number one, so you get your pick of the litter where you want to do. And he goes, I'm going to be a trainer at TopCon, which seems like, hey, would you start a best pilot, dude? I don't know., not just train pilots. I think we got some shit going on in the Middle East. Maybe you send them over there.

I don't want to see the long trail, or Christine. He's also maybe one of the last modern Air Force pilots to get into any combat. And he still has no respect. Look, knock down multiple megs out of the sky. No question. Is there also like just randomly sometimes we don't know about dog fights. Back to like knock down multiple megs in out of the sky Also like just randomly sometimes we don't know about dog fights over the Indian Ocean Probably that'd be pretty cool. I like to think that there is that thing happening Military I like to think that the Air Force Navy are out there fucking fighting dog fighting and getting videos of UFOs

Those are the two things I love that they do I love it doesn't flip it or fuck air shows but even when they do it um you don't know you don't need to know you know why because they're up in the sky yeah that's between them and God I also want to know who is going to be the evil pilots that they're going up against because they can't use anyone in Hollywood would never actually use oh no The people that we really know Like the deval Kilmer guys gonna because I think you're dangerous Are we fine steam boys? Have you seen him talk? Yeah, he's gonna cover all CGI is voice in this day said Oh, he's in it. Yeah, I saw maverick. I have the answers to all these silly questions. I don't want it. Don't say anything

Yeah, do you guys remember when they did red dawn? The remake of red dawn with one of the hamswar so originally when they did red dawn with the Hemsworths They were like China in Vades the United States and they made it they were like China and then they were gonna put it out in the Chinese movie theater It was like do you think we're gonna put your movie in our theaters? They're like Kitting it was North Korea so they had to go back and edit it and make it all North Korea Yeah, they had to change it because China was like Yeah, we're not gonna fucking put that in our movie theaters. We control all of our fucking It should have made it Russia again. Yeah, it made it Russia again. It's actually what was it?

It was some combo plate in the original red dawn, right? It was like Russians led by Nicaraguan's. Isn't that like when you go get that, what was the place to cross three from Staten up New York? It was like Cuban and Mexican. Yeah, I guess we'll do both of these. Oh, sure. It was like Asian and Mexican and you're like,

yeah, this is pretty good. Chino Latino, that's what it was. Yeah. I remember there was some, Asian and Mexican and you're like, yeah, this is a thing. You know, Latino. Yeah. I remember there was some, some rush, like there was actually reviews from rushes like, you know, we never made a movie about American fading rush. Well, maybe they should have. What are you doing?

Maybe they should have. They want to fuck it out of. Yeah, I watch a movie where the Migs are the heroes. Oh, my God. Like, I just want cold soup with my family. And they're like, get over here. You fucking Russian pig I'm gonna rape your fat wife Is it as Russia ever been portrayed in any kind of film not winter?

Yeah, just not in winter time. Summer Russia. Let's do a summer Russia. Let's do a beach like a Frankie Valley I mean There's gotta be a day where it's not snowing insanely and people are just training with anvils and stuff still. We should do a 50-50 style surfer movie, but with Russian. Do they have any technology? What's happening? Catch the waves on St. Peter's bed. Yeah, everything's like... Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump 22 layers to smoke cigarette that is $42 a pack with pet wolf With my pet wolf who can turn on me at any moment that is great part of Russia, but yeah, let's do a summer beach flick

Summer Russian summer play yeah, I'm like meeting it on at the bonfire for cookout Definitely talking about a white boy summer dude Russia white boy summer 80% of Russia is buried in snow good good good good good That's why they make never ending games like Tetris. Yeah, they have to get you can go up to an infinite. I lose myself in ships It's not like who crazy Who is better the air wolf pilot or maverick? who is better the air wolf pilot or maverick whoo yeah jayka we just take that thank you to any Dallas what do you think jayka it's apples and oranges is that how so break it down for the layman

well i mean can maverick pilot a helicopter as well as string fellow hawk or uh... dom no but can string fellow no No, no, you've never been better Think about both of them together joining forces Um the mega powers of air please I like to see air will phase a second now the goose is gone Mavric second, it's good move by the way also watching that movie I would tell you they dance in the Edwards had no other job than to constantly keep turning his head and being like

I don't know it looks like they're behind you. They're over. It's like is there any equipment in this? What are you doing back there? Are you reading? I mean, it's literally there's nothing to see behind you's gonna be like yeah I don't know Let me take off the seat belt dude. I can't see anything Yeah, there's planes behind us. Do the other number two's do this. Yeah, cuz I do anything just sit behind you and wait to die first and then And then you just it doesn't eject in time Yeah, he goes I don't know I'm really cares about those guys I don't know what time I don't know how fast their seat goes out or not just someone that hasn't seen top gun in over 10 years

It was Maverick in the plane that Goose was in when they eject? Yeah. Okay, I didn't remember that. I just remember the controls, faulty. I just remember the smoke and him in the water. Don't worry, they brought him up on his charges the very next day and let him know that he was not responsible for the thing at all.

And then you go right immediately, but he missed a half a day of top gun. Fuck. I found out if he goes, all right, you didn't kill your friend. Something's wrong with the plane. Get back to work. And then he wasn't very good at work. And they're like, there you go.

What do you think the pro, they even asked that they go, dude, what is your problem today? Because my friend died yesterday in a plane with me. He goes, right. Okay, that did happen. Hey, are you banging the, are you banging the teacher? I would, Robert, now, we don't take the call, but it says last season,

the co-oper car, the kid is bullied so badly for sure, but by a distinct group of people. I'm not talking about, I mean, if you're telling a real life story, or this to group people, bullying story is great. I'm saying though, but Penny from good times, did she get treated worse than that?

Were the entire, it was crazy to me with the stranger things, was adults even seemed okay with it. Like no one's, the only teacher, there's one teacher that was against it. And she's kind of on the fence about it, where she's like, I feel like you're getting bullied as everyone's staring around her going,

ha, she's like, are you getting bullied? She's like, now these are my best friends, you go, you know what, I wanna believe that, so I'm just gonna go have my lunch. You know what, I don't wanna deal with whatever this is so you say these are your friends. Honestly, I feel like you're European because you call your dad Papa and you can barely talk. Oh, Huddy, take that call. Huddy in California.

Huddy, it says you used to bully a chicken middle school then you hooked up later in life. Were you bullying her because that was yeah crush on her yeah okay so it goes down like this she used to bully like the weird kids in school okay and like I used to be pissed me off so she's kind of like fat and stuff so I would like make fun of her and call her fat and like of course she would like cry stuff of course and actually got classic that shit yeah I swear to God physical and fifth grade we like fought and like wait you fought you guys you guys fought did you guys fight you in the classroom or outside classroom music room she picked it back in my chair I said you do it one more time I'm gonna

stand up and slap the shit out of you. She did it. I looked in my teacher. I stood up and I slapped her and then she tackled me. And then I just like, I didn't wanna like hit her anymore. So I just like bare hugged her and shit. And then like we rolled down like on the floor. And I got to spend it for that one.

Okay. But I bet somewhere like when you're teacher talk to your parents, I wanna tell you something about Huddle. your parents, you went I want to tell you something about Huddle Huddy Huddy I want to tell you something about Huddy He's got Oh, he's hoodie. By the way, it's hoodie like hoodie in the book hoodie Because your son hoody follows through on what he says He's got character

Yeah No good character Guys say he's gonna do it He did some of the bitch did it That son of a bitch look me right in the eyes and slapped her and I said god damn it hoody Dude it was uh it was uh... it was very uh... who's fucking hilarious

that's what it's a great and like we're still like like the bullion god bless and stuff and uh... she's like telling everybody she's gonna move to me he's up and then her mom talk to my mom was like let's settle this she became my tutor and i would go to her house after school so damn that's got to be weird as shit going to the girls house that you have had a physical alteration with at school did she have brothers and sisters were you worried

about older brothers at all Dan only child and I had an older sister so nice you were covered like you were prime the fuck this chick oh yeah dude your older sister had your back and then you just knew you're going in with the upper hand Yeah, dude, and I'm not gonna a lot of my sisters big bitch shows, you know what I'm saying? I got come home. Yeah, this would have been a fat on fat crime Dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, my sister was a bigger girl and you have a little you know when you're out in public You're like I'll talk some shit. You get a little extra might be able to fight a man when you get a little uf behind you Yeah, dude when I trusted I trusted the cup I trust my sister and my aunt

Karen to fight a man or around a little I'm like that could probably fucking yeah. And Karen fuck some shit. Yeah she's all but yeah dude she was all everything she's a big gal. Yeah. Yeah but you so you go to her house to get tutored and how often do you do in this a week? I would say twice a week, Monday and Thursday. To the point where we actually squashed our beef and stuff and then her mom would say, Did she probably squashed any beef you put in front of her mom? Probably walked right through it.

Did her mom make you guys... It's called smashing your beef. And then eating it. Did her mom make you guys have a like a handshake with a picture Where you guys tied bandanas together like the blood True's true's dude true's picture So all right so fast we're under last year of eighth grade It's just like you want to hang out at the school grounds. I'm like sure

So we're hanging out and then you know know we're like looking out and like i get stuck under the now let me give you a little thing she had a breast reduction in eight grade because she was a size triple b i think we're the god's as you have this frank and scars on her yam so uh... you'll go pretty nice so i know you know they're there do it looks like

she was in like she's used to be like a Colombian street Hey, were you part of a human centipede Just off yeah, okay, I was experimenting dude that's so big you got a knock him down in eighth grade That's some punky Brewster. I know two black guys who have scars that go from their cheek to their ear and all I want to ask them now is like damn damn, we were part of a human setup. Did you escape a human setup being? Were you on the ass or were you on... Damn, the breast reduction scars really... They're a chocolatey, huh? It's a thick scar tissue. Yeah, but anyway, she added reduction eighth grade because her boobs were too big.

Yes, so I fell in love with like you know, movies as we call it that cities So I asked the suck on her tip and then she like went away. We've been texting you know She's in the city picks here in there. I'm 22. She hit me. She hit me up. She was hey I'm gonna be in town for like 10 hours. I had to come and see like my stepdad and then I'm going back to me She's like can I come over to your house and take a quick nap before I go to me? I was like, sure. Should be 10 to 10 hours. I'm gonna see my dad for an hour. I'm going to golden crow for seven hours. It gives me two hours. I'm gonna fill up my camel. I gotta go get some O'Grotton potatoes and roast beef at 1 p.m. It's a

summer shrimp ananza. I can't miss that. They're back doing soft serve. I got the chocolate fondue. It's not important. I'll be over after getting into punch cards. I need about 25 in your crapper and then you can get down the biz. Let me clear out. I'm going to be fucking rock and roll. This is some weird work.

Just going to hit the head for about 25 and then I'll be out and we can get going. Yeah, I'm going to dump and then we're gonna do Three three minute rounds. He went on her hands off in the show real quick I don't want to let any mud in the chamber. You know what I mean? You got any vitamin D. I can remember my tits I guess hey you got to be like after surgery stuff maybe You know tattoo cream. Yeah, just it's pretty new. I don't want you to suck my titty right off my body So she so she says 10 hours and she wants to come over and take a nap, which is nap shower. As we all know from top gun, if you say you're gonna come over and take a fucking shower,

you're looking to go. If a girl comes over and take a nap, it's my soul. First of all, it's very sleepy weirdo. I would only let that happen under the guys that I was like, oh, she really means she wants to come over and hook up. And then while she naps, God forbid there's anything filming me. Just I'd be staring at her like paranormal activity. You know when they just show the clock go for like eight hours and you just stares at the sleeping person. That's what I would be doing the whole time going. So it's not you really just wanted to come sleep I guess. Because I would fear I love naps. I'd want to jump in taking the app too. But I don't really that there was all a trick

And she'd get up and steal all my stuff. Oh, so you're not trusting at all now fucking fat Beth wouldn't do that That's her name. Howdy is it Beth is it fat Beth? Her name is dumb. Her name is doggy Dominique so yeah, yeah It was the so she comes over and I tell my roommate I'm like hey this chick's gonna come over and take a nap I got some you guys I got some history with this one could open the door could be a fight could be a fuck I don't know what's gonna go now guys I got this girl coming over so put your name on whatever's yours in the fridge. Yeah uh... uh... man's a fact i really have all the fact you have

uh... to cover you look into your noran i haven't actually like uh... sure to come to our mic i don't have to make an exchange of like glazing bed stuff and like fifteen minutes goes by so bad stuff and like 15 minutes goes by. She saw the exit. I'm sorry. I had barbecue sauce freaking over here.

Oh my god, I drank some ranch in my car. Do you have any barbecue sauce? I might hear the dog this. You might have a bath. I like a bath. Can I bath here? I got a bath. You got a bath in your bath.

Hey, can you rag on a stick in my back? Oh, this is just two minutes goes by and I'm like, okay. As you go, she's really not gonna try anything and I'm just like, I five, five, so we start making out and then she goes down on me and then we clock and then literally she does take a nap. Like, we clock, and I'm thinking like, I'm thinking like oh hell you're like round two Dude she slept for 45 minutes woke up and then gotten the car and left and I was just like damn Okay, and I had to switch out I have a senior send. Yeah, you're like we used to text back in this but never senior soon

It's pretty cool, dude. She's a rolling stone. She came in and banged you. She goes thanks for the dick loser Well, I think the couple in his head I think the couple in her that is like she felt this is something she had to exercise some demon. Yeah, she was getting out I love it because we're not gonna fuck you're not gonna try to fuck me. You said we weren't gonna fuck on our respect you bro bro Do you want to fight again then? She goes bro. I got a seven p.m. It golden corral. I got to get it She went to go on Kralik goes, That was the lunch buffet. I need it, I need my din-dun. Okay, I guess I'm not gonna have dinner after lunch.

Fuck you, dude. You'll deserve to fuck me, but please do. Slap me or suck my tits. Either way, move on from this. Hey, would you mind powdering my thighs? I don't wanna get a burn before I sit down at the old Coral. Do you see where I put my eating shirt? I had my sleeping shirt, but I need my eating shirt.

It looks like a Pollock with mustard in different condiments. Looks like a smock. It looks like a child's painting smock. That looks like I run an art class, but really that's all the tastes from the Corral. That's just all the tops. That's all the tops of things. Half of that's just all the tops. That's all the tops of things. Half that's a loaded big potato that went haywire on me. She goes, this is ranch, wait.

This is ranch. This goes wasabi ranch. Wasabi ranch. That was limited edition. She goes, they're doing chipotle, wait, day. And that was chipotle ranch. They did that for some of the mile. I heard that was a sickle-divile.

Yeah, they don't even make that anymore. It's pretty cool. I got some shamrock shake. I don't even make that anymore. It's pretty cool. I got some shamrock shake. I'm trying to sell this thing. Little history. You guys see my golden corral jersey? I got a lot of my jersey. My eating shirt.

You're gonna look right here. Ironically unlimited ribs. Right here on the ribs. I wonder if you ate dinner every night in the same shirt. Didn't wash it for you. Just threw on the shirt to eat dinner. Doesn't even get dirty necessarily. Like with your body shit, but after a year, how much stuff is on your shirt?

Probably a lot. I'm a sloppy eater. Are you? Yeah. I would say a lot. I wore the same shirt two days this weekend and by the end of yesterday, I was like, this shirt's fucking got to go right in the hamper. I mean, obviously, but yeah, Christine's pretty spilly.

What was that? I mean, yeah. The first day at our Key West bed, fucking ripped right into a burger, fucking big old water ketchup splat right on the bed. No. Well, damn, two. That's 10 year relationship bed sheets.

Yeah. Yeah, meanwhile, Lewis, meanwhile, everyone, let's take it right. I hate being friends with spies. I know. You can't get the location up. You can't get the location up. After what? With who? Say what from where? Okay. Well, but who do you thanks for the call, dude? And I'm glad your relationship with her went full circle. And they take to get the a call crackle crackle boys yeah thanks for telling about your relationship with that full circle boom

haha can't defeat him the rock boom boom boom boom boom might do that tonight you You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on Sirius XM! you