The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Burn This City To The Ground

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

All hell breaks loose when Jacob is late for the show.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. 16 candles down the drain. Everybody turn your videos so black Luke can see us so you can see our gorgeous faces. I don't have it. Love your computer is broken, I'm sorry.

I know you're so excited. I know you love it. I didn't. Don't ask why. Don't ask why. Don't ask why. Don't ask why. Sponge week, but only two days, they may only have two songs.

We can do all three days of Spongeweek. 16 candles down the drain. Bobby, you know what Sponge, you know Sponge? You know the songs, not the day I'm not sure. This song right here? They're a two-hit wonder. I've never heard this song in my life. That's not true.

Ask me again. How about the one yesterday? Play that again, plowed. Man, you were in your prime in the 90s. Come on, this is Bobby with no nothing underneath overalls. I do remember the sun. You're too busy fucking mo- Well I wake up until my makeup Though I guess it's right at a tape I remember the song.

Song rules, you know it sucks about a band like this though? And Lou, you know this kind of weird music with me. He looked... He, at a moment, looked cool enough to be like a big guy. Like a big, good front man. He looked really cool. And then only these two songs hit by the time,

now they're time to hit the nostalgia circuit and play these songs again. I thought someone wanted to have a concert performance that still sounds great, but like, it's just an older guy now wearing a hat. Like you used to have like red spiky like crazy hair. Awesome looking. And then age just hits and you got to come back and play this song. Just being like now he's like a biker also. They do a complete change. They become a biker I don't know where. From like a pretty person. He doesn't have that same

angst. That's why you got to like fill on somesalm oh guys Streetups kept at white power the entire time his whole career Phil and psalm was never wavered from one message and one message only and that's white power Jesus we all got sent that today, right? That was yeah look at sponge when they were young not as a crazy. That's not young even Nope, none of those are yeah, it's younger But I'm telling you the guy had a look for a minute Though you remember how cool you thought he looked every cover band how to know this now go to the video for this song Treat yourself right Christine if you get a gildo it gildo a moving image. Why did my computer break into day?

right Christine if you get a gilded with gilded with moving image why do my computer break in a day that's just the way it works around here I think we have a half black ironation guy then come stare at that for you if you get the minute I would like it because I really enjoyed seeing things Lou put in the order get these guys it's been a while since we watch these guys do not make it so who do we reach out to do you have somebody? Yeah, I got a four digit number right now dial that number all right and tell them we want those guys Yeah, you explore it. I do I do I ask you it's been a while Bobby. I think it's only experienced this once. Yeah, but it was a big scale one

They checked everything. I did twice. I had the way the wind the sound coming from the window to Oh, they came in for that they came and they looked at the window. They looked up They looked down and then they looked up buildings moving and then they said the building moves So and it sounds in the wind like a rickety old Right one-eye willy boat Do something resembling anything? You got that video Christine something resembling anything. You got that video, Christine? No, sorry, I'm having an issue. Oh, my Christ. We're gonna need to have black guys

and two agents now. How many things do we have to look at in here? I don't know, Jacob's kidnapped. So that's a nice thing. Oh, no, yeah, Jacob's stuck on a train in a terroristic situation. What happened? Jacob said he's stuck on the train. He's to be late for the show, but he said that's so long ago. Yeah, he's been stuck for at least an hour. Oh, he's texting. He says that he hopes the whole city burns to the ground. Why why really? Is this his manifesto before he blows up the train he's on? I want the city to burn from underneath.

Yeah, how do you get stuck on a train? Maybe it just stops. Yes, they just stop sometimes. But how long? Long time. Oh, I guess he does walk up right before the show sometimes. Yeah, play this. Look how cool this guy looked. And skip ahead to where it shows him.

Is that a German Nazi plane flying over as a little mobile? Wasn't that a Look at the watch ready Where we look right there look like that's a that's the red barons plane. Oh, yeah Yeah, there you go. You think there's Nazi implications here, too. I mean, that's the red barons plane He took down a lot of Americans. Okay. Okay. I'm willing to get into this conspiracy. The sponge was a neo-Nazi band.

You can give speeches before his shows. I could have been a little of it. This guy was awesome though. But man, this band didn't make, you know what is, they saw that hair was gonna go. That's a toughy. You start balling the guy from Tonic had that too. Remember Tonic?

If you could only see... He looked like Louis CK. Yeah. And once you took that hat off, everyone's like, oh, you're early, early balding. That happened to me, my thirties. I had to make that decision. But you went and shaved like bald.

Early. But also the thing about comedy, is you never stopped doing it. So the change was was while it was a meeting, he's like, Jeff Ross, I can't pick your Jeff Ross with hair anymore. But I remember Jeff Ross had the goofy hair forever. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, and that was just the thing. What's your head? You were like, what the fuck is he doing? And then it completely makes sense now. I think it was a wig. Jeff, I think

he had a wig for a minute. No one would choose a wig like that. You can't, you can't go from full afro to bald. Nobody does that. No, that afro was receiving. Was it? Yeah, yeah. I think it was thinning and then it was funny because when he first shaved it,

it like takes a while for your head to like tan to the rest of your skin. It's the rest of your body, that's what it is. And now that like his head is the right color, it makes complete sense to the discussion. I wouldn't know, Lou, with hair, although, Lou, with hair, I will tell you, man, a your handsome fella no matter what make no mistake does baby blues, but That picture I see with

You with your brother and you had the hair like you guys You were guys were in popular high school or were you? We were fat in high school But then right out of high school we both lost 50 pounds each. Oh Hey, buddy, oh We were at fat in high school, but then right out of high school we both lost 50 pounds each. Oh, hey buddy. Oh, hi, how are you? It's his PC. Yeah, we were kind of hoping to get the Asian guy, just lots of stuff. We were hoping to get the two dudes.

There's usually the two dudes who come in here and just look at things and don't really do anything. Yeah, not a guy who actually looks like he's going to do something. I think this guy has got some Judaism in him, he's going to really figure this thing out. Yeah, he really looks like he's got it. Oh, he just pushed a button. Judy. Do I feel this guy's gonna solve your problem Bobby I mean, he literally just pushed on I mean, I don't think he's got it I did that much. Yeah, I don't think he's got it. Well, he's got to start somewhere You just haven't gotten anything. I came in. He said it was broken and He and that's it and we pushed the button on and I have nothing

Wow, he just read something though. I know he's already doing so much more than I would hope that I'd hoped for He's walking around with a lot of confidence right now. Oh, man. This bits eat shit now Yeah, we're supposed to come in and just look at it and then leave yeah, and say it Yeah, yeah, and then just tell us it does work Even though we're seeing it does not Jeff Ross had full hair full hair. That's a while before No even even before shit. I was out on tour with him and shit dude. He got his hair got goofy. Let me see Flashlight come on do you have a little like a multi-tool on you two But you do have one.

Does have a multi tool. That means he knows what he's doing. I don't know. He knows what he's doing. He read the computer. I mean once this place gets too fancy shman, it's we're going to be ass out. I like the tech guys to come in here and look Jeff Ross looks like Observe it and then just tell us it is it is not broken Jeff Rodbald now. Yeah, can you bring him up bald? Yeah, he looks like me if he if I was on that show down with love We're had a lot too. There he is bald. Well, he shaved his eyebrows off to we might have all of Pisha Also, he may have had all of Pcia. That's why he shaved his head So the computer was off there was a computer off. All right. Here we go Dude you're about to get juiced up. Oh, it's a sea everything you're about to get juiced But yeah, once they shave their head, but the for rock stars

Especially if you just have the hits and then come back looks weird Yeah, you know, I mean actors, too actors can't really go bald I really can't Lars puts on the hat God bless them and that saves everything Because that hair is gone. Yeah, his hair's gone that hair on top But he and he the certain people that like Tom Papa can let his hair just go, like calling Quinn, just his hair is going. It's not bald.

But he, he's got that receding hairline and they pull it off. Yeah, he makes it long and wispy Cohen. Yeah. Cohen, in his older age, has quietly become a heartthrob I see the way Christine looks at him I don't want every girl loves Quinn and it makes me sick to my stomach I was just telling not a heartthrob what what calling not a heart oh god when Colin was young pull up a heart

throw him on remote control put him put calling up on a special when he had a a Pittsburgh leather jacket on please bring up his half hour specials, one of the funniest things. He smokes cigarettes and sits on the edge of the stage. And he had a, I think he had a gold chain on for some reason. What a pompous ass. He really was a pompous ass. This guy fixed right to the computer. It's odd.

This guy's amazing. It's odd. Can I have your phone number? Can I have your personal cell? Can you follow me on Instagram? I'm just going to warn you. Bobby's got a lot of anti-Semitic views, but he grew up in Boston. phone number. Can I have your personal cell? Can you follow me on Instagram? I'm just going to warn you. Bobby's got a lot of anti-Semitic views, but he grew up in Boston. I had a, that's untrue. I had a Jewish foster father for three years.

What's that? I am. Yeah. Adonal on Paterico. A motilech. I mean, go on. Thank you. Appreciate it. Did you just pray at him? I prayed at him. Yes. I did Saturday services. Thank you. Thank you. Muzzle tough. Love it. It's working right now. Well, it's, it's on right now. I prayed at him, yes. I did Saturday services. Thank you. Thank you, muzzle tough. Yeah, thank you. Love it. It's working right now. Well, it's on right now. I don't know, but it's got a lot of stuff.

It's bad shit. Lou's coming over straight and shit out for you. Love it. Can we hear Colin if she plays it? No. This special was nuts. I got my soul for you. This special was nuts What's happening It was a 90s playlist

I mean local age definitely ribs Here we go, I'm sorry. Did you not want to have this computer on? Was this your plan all along? And now I'm fucking it up. I'm so happy it made you yesterday. It made me. I mean, I felt like I was part of the crew. I mean, I still didn't get a webcam. I've never had this either. Just for the record.

I actually, I got a webcam yesterday. I mean, I had a computer in front of me. I felt like you guys were holding it back to see if it was gonna work out. And yesterday was the day we were like, give Bobby his computer, turn it on. There's literally five cameras, only one of them's pointing at someone. You can get Christine now. We're gonna get Bobby over there. I'm ready. I'm gonna be so sexy. Hey everybody, how you doing? It's the bonfire.

Well, this is what we should probably hear on the store in the break though. I mean, I agree. Are you joining her, Colin. I do. Yes. This is Colin Quinn's special. Is it a half hour an hour? Half hour. Yeah. One day show time on HP. HPL. One night. One night. See if I'm bullet. Yes. He has a mullet.

The show. 92. My big nights that I waited my whole life down the board now it's too late ladies my big night and I wait I'm going to skip ahead to when he rips a button sits down. Why is he so fashionable? But he was an MTV guy. MTV but he's wearing some weird necklace I think with teeth on it. It's definitely it's some kind of a silly like long. He's wearing a Pittsburgh Pirate Tvarsity jacket.

Right. Obviously, golden black. But he's wearing a green shirt that matches nothing. His hair cut looks like, he looks like he's a, like an English, pikey soccer hoodlum. This is like, if I told you this guy talks like this, oh you're gonna say you're seeing a big exhibit of my team.

Would you believe me? 100%. Absolutely. Absolutely. And the jacket does not fit him by the way. It's like the wrong size. Too big is his boyfriends. Somebody gave that to him.

Guy, whatever. He sits down. Well fellas, give yourself a little test. If you could pass this, then God bless you. You're a better man than most of us. When you finally meet that beautiful girl, we will meet once in a life. He has a headset that loves you unconditionally. No, he's got a robberlier. He wants to use both his hands, like Chris Titus. What a dildo. I have to I have just to go for a little bit. You stick a formal but I got when I got to New York it was so funny because I watched all I knew Colin was obviously I didn't know like

the the hierarchy of the New York comics and everything and when I got to New York I was sort of surprised that like Colin seemed to be the center of the New York comics and everything. And when I got to New York, I was sort of surprised that like Collins seemed to be the center of the web, like the everyone's kind of like sort of guru of like what was going on in New York comedy at the time. And quickly figured out like why, just being around them, yeah, for sure. Well, he was the one that started.

He was your guys leader, that's why I said, I don't wanna say that. No, he was. He was kind of like the, he was the guy, he's people think that Louis, the show Louis was the one that started the, like the comedy seller, but Quinn and tough crowd. And he started that table, him and Nick Tupalo.

And then everybody's just started hanging out of that table because he was there. And then he from that got tough crowd. And then he was the guy that people were coming down to the seller to see us at literally watch the tough crowd show. And then they would come to the seller to see us sitting at that table, screaming at each other, making fun of each other, yelling at each other and laughing our asses off all night. Like you'd see people at the bar just turning around watching us. It was kind of weird.

But he was the guy that started it all. And then Louis did the show there, which blew it the fuck out of the water. But that made it like the essentially a tourist attraction at this point. Yeah, Louis, that opening scene made the comedy seller a definite, you know, but in the world of like comedy, Colin Quinn. Like stand up comedy and like the comedy seller a definite, you know, but in the world of like comedy,

Colin Quinn, like stand up comedy and like the world of a get that like comics like he definitely was like, he was a guy. Like I said, it was based off of like seem to be able to go around him. And then the pilot that was so hilarious, that was not the way to do it. What the tough proud pilot of the called it on NBC. Yeah, I watched it. I was in the road I watched it in a green room TV and like calling like sitting like a couple old Schnooks on the stew on the stoop and then you and then Patrice was at like all from this like like Oscar the grouch like You know like a band leader like Doc Severnson sitting at a table. Yeah, they tried to do some stoops

And Patrice just looked uncomfortable because he's so uncomfortable huge a small outside seller chair. Fat guys never sit on stairs. It looked so funny. It worked out picked up by Comedy Central. There's a DC pilot. Michael was his name from SNL. Was it that? No.

No, that's not good. Jay. No. The guy from I hate what you guys do this because then I panic and I can't You know the panic my whole for mess I know because you stare at me and you don't blink and you're those beautiful eyebrows fucking get me a trance It just blinks for you. No, that's you the guy who does You're adorable, I'm just gonna fucking say it. There's something about you. No, the guy who ahead of SNL, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, no, Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael no Lauren Michaels Did it picked it up and put it on NBC as an SNL type thing and oh it was like a branch off because Colin was enough

It was supposed to be a show on NBC, but it's not it was it was not supposed to be on NBC It's two it was too rough. It was too crazy and, people don't know Colin wrote the monologue for Tough Crowd by himself. And four nights a week, he wrote, he wouldn't let anybody else write it. And Keith, Norton, Patrice, and I think Voss were writers on Tough Crowd, and he wound up firing them. Because he walked in one day and they were just watching porn.

Yeah. It was the job really. He's like, what the fuck are you guys doing? You guys, the guests have to write basically. Uh, writing your monologue. Also, tough crowd was doing a cool thing with tough crowd too, where you really didn't need a writing staff much because I mean, people want help, but you really don't need it because everyone was comics.

He actually rarely did if ever, did he ever do like a, you know, those like shows that have comics, but then they'll plug in. It's like Bert's cabin thing, like and then Caitlin Jenner's on it. What they all has to do with like a bunch of comics hanging out. But I don't think tough kind of or went there. Did they ever put people on where it was like, no, it was always comics. It doesn't make sense. It was always comics, but it was comics that shouldn't have been together sometimes. Sure. Because he had't make sense. It was always comics, but it was comics that shouldn't have been together sometimes. Sure. Because he had that core guys.

It was Patrice, Norton, Voss, and Keith and Joroldo were the always on a show. Yeah, yeah, one of those guys had, I was on the show. He tried to make me, he actually tried to make me one of those guys. I thought you sort of were. I was kind of, but he had a fight. I mean, could you count how many times you were on? Jeff Singer always fought to not have me on. Really? Yeah, you want some inside fucking. You want to do. I do. You want the dish? Jeff Singer. Jeff Singer was fired from JFL. Give me little context who Jeff Singer is. When I came

to New York, Jeff Singer booked a place called Loonalounge that they said was the stepping board to Conan. He dealt with JFL a lot, the book with JFL. He booked the new faces for JFL. He would help with all that stuff. He worked at one point in late night television on the Jimmy Founds show where he always have to say this about the sweet Jeff Singer. Worked really, really hard. That's what I thought he was gonna say similar to this, Bobby, because you said worked really really hard

to keep you off. He worked so hard to get me on Jimmy Fallon. If he liked you, and then you were good. If he didn't like you, well me and him were never like a tight like thing, but he just like, He was really cared. He just wanted to get, he wanted to be the first person to get me on late night, And then he did a subsequently,

I don't know if it's related, lost his job. I think days later, but I did say a joke that they were like change and I forgot to change it. Well, you changed it kind of. You didn't say the harshest part of it. No, I did. I just did, remember? I know that they were gonna,

you're gonna change the word and you didn't, but there was like a separate tag on the table. Oh yeah, the box of puppies. So Christine was right. She was right, yes. Okay, so apologize. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't yell at her. Well, you're right.

That late night said was a process. Took forever. that jade that late night said was a process took forever then jeff singer uh I guess you know when you book things like that make enemies and one night to stand uh comedy club got into an argument and he he drunkenly had the argument about uh you know if you're not saying the n-word in an aggressive or offensive way like why is it a big deal of a white part? Why can't I say it? But he was saying it. Was it maybe? I don't know. I don't even know if he was or wasn't.

I don't mean so. I think he was just arguing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I'm not saying you know, I mean like why can I say and word but he was actually saying the word believes Yeah, because the people I talk with that with there. That's fine But even if and the people that were there were enemies I Or didn't book or something like they there was there was some people who couldn't wait to get this news out there I guess yeah, but I don't, I wish I had more like actual information. But no, the alleged thing for whatever, whatever it was, I will say wholeheartedly, I completely understand Jeff's argument. And I on a base level agree with

it without hearing the whole thing, but like, die on that hill like like an argue with like Female black comics and what I'm like this is the people you think you're gonna get to go I guess I get it So I'm like just fucking leave it alone and you know what just try to refrain from saying it in front of them Even that way like it just sort of the easier way to live But anyway back to the thing Jeff singer Jeff singer back to that original thing Colin would literally be like I asked Why is Bobby none on? Maybe and he would say get Bobby on I

Actually, I submitted a writing package my first writing package to Tough crowd really yeah I was I wanted to be on the show writing skits and I wanted to be one of the guys Like Keith and because I was I was at the I wanted to be one of the guys like Keith because I was at the table. I was one of the guys at the fucking table. I was part of that and I don't disagree that because I think I, you know, that was before

spell check and shit and I just go, Don, how do you spell? Is it there? What there is it? You know what I mean? So I'm sure I'd love to get in my hands on that fucking. Love your ass. You're packing?

Oh, my riding pack. Pack it to tough crap. Oh my god. It was rejected. It was rejected. But this is weird. Some of my skid ideas, variations of it wound up on tough crap. Ooh, she just fired.

But I remember Colin was like, he would force them to put me on. But they always put me on with Patrice Never put me on with anybody else always with Patrice. That's great. It was great for me But it was it was kind of what's we gonna make enemies though How many old how many old white comics didn't like me because of my association of Patrice was wild Oh, you know who didn't was Slating and not darn my rarer. Don my rarer. Wow. He came to the cello one night and called Patrice of gorilla I mean it was we were all at the table and he came in that God damn fucking angry that piece of shit

He's a gorilla and we were like what? He can't say that he was so mad at Patrice. He hated Patrice. Which comic do you say still hated him even after he died? Cause of the thing about sending tapes in? Oh, what the fuck was it? I wanna say DC Benny, I don't know what DC Benny. Maybe, I don't wanna put it on someone else, maybe it was DC Benny, it was like, they made the argument at the seller years ago. No DC Benny didn't like Patrice at all.

Okay, that's what it was, they had an argument at the seller years ago. No, DC Benning didn't like the truth at all. Okay, that's what it was. They had an argument at the seller years ago. And he was just shitting on DC Benning's comedy, I think. And they went back and forth and he goes, it's shut up DC Benning. They had to say the Steinbergs, the managers, they managed everybody at one point. They had to say manager and he goes,

shut up DC, you should be happy that I make the Steinbergs enough money that they can afford by stamps to send your bullshit tape out And I think they had to be separated DC DC's not a pussy. Yeah, this is not a pussy man. He was a model too back of the day DC Betty rules He actually came a real estate dude and Wound up killing it right. I mean fucking killing it is killing it. And also

a good. He's got a beach house in the Hamptons. Like he bought a building. Yeah, he's a social media. He's like Hamptons real estate. He does. Hamptons real. Hamptons real estate and he he wound up buying a building in Brooklyn back when Brooklyn was shit. He wanted to buying a building. His wife has all these beauty products. They made it out of there. Then he bought a house. I think she's a doctor too. She's a dog. His wife has all these beauty products they made out of there. Then he bought a house. I think she's a doctor too. She's a doctor. It's crazy.

That's like beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. And then he wanted, he wanted to do a real estate. I'm fucking the Hamptons. And now he's got all this property. He's like a, like a, like a little muggle. DCP was doing all right. DCP was doing it right all the way.

What the fuck, Christine? Betrie's died with a hundred grand. I think DCP won. Yeah, Betrie we started with a hundred grand. 51. Yeah, but we started with a hundred thousand dollars and a box of dildos. Yeah, but I don't think life sucks. I don't think DC Betty's sad at all that Patrice is not with us.

But Jeff Singer, man, he had me when I did just for laughs. I got in with just for laughs. And he had me one year because just for last people love me like Zoe and Nick Robbie love me and so he had me host But the heads of JFL just for last festival was was was was Nick is there now But they got me he had me host new faces one night and

You know you go to new faces and I feel bad for all these kids and it's not agents And they're kind of decks And they're just sitting there agents and managers and these poor kids are so nervous So I went up and I was you know just doing my thing and there was one guy I was bringing them up But I was trying to get everybody pumped up and I get he went up and said he's not saying their name He was like one of the managers of the new faces and he's like he's not saying their name. He was like one of the managers of the new faces. And he's like, he's not saying their names clearly. He needs to say, he's like fucking telling

me that I had to like do my job better. It's like, go fuck yourself. And Jeff Singer came up and he gave me a little pep talk on how to host. And I was like fuck You're on Google fuck yourself. I mean, I don't I don't hate Jeff I don't I don't hate him, but you know sir. I don't think he liked me too much I don't I don't hate people, but I don't like people who don't like me Sure if you like me, I'm a fucking people please. I'll like you. I don't give a shit What you like you right back? I'll like you right back. You like you odds are Jacobs dead by the way This is crazy at this point. I was thinking thinking about how angry he's going to be when he comes storming on in here. The best part will be he'll come in with all of that energy

and then sit out and it'll be like looking at us like what? Yeah. That was my favorite. Me and Bobby laughed with that on the phone the other day when he slammed his head, knew his hands onto his elbows on the table. And then when we stopped the show and look at him He's like Jacob how can we got a knowledge the weirdness of what you're doing right now the worst part is that he got his campaign His one that he sells today's the jam right I don't do magic Don't Because he said I don't want him to be even mad. Well, I put it on ice there. So what are we gonna do with it? You're mentioning it. You're mentioning it

Well, I just want one okay, you can't have it yet Why are we not supposed to mention it because Jacob said don't mention it. Don't mention it. He's gonna be matter But why because he gets that way we won't mention it But why are we not mentioning because he said he said don't mention it. And me and Christine do it were told. I don't think you trust us to appropriately talk about the product with him not here. Is that what it is? He said there's not enough time to present it. Yeah, we have to present it. What's happening? Is there going to be a, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. but I've never been more thirsty.

Maybe he has a, maybe he has a step in repeating. What's the book behind him? Is he? Did he find this? I just start drinking them and we just say we already did it. Oh, it comes in. You know what? You know, in, uh, in two shakes of a stick, Lou would do that. I'll get drunk before he walks in.

I say he's not smoking cigarettes now. So he's ready to get to do it. I say do it. I say... He's not smoking cigarettes now, so he's ready to get tuted up. I say do it. I say do it. I need some relief. Do it for the people. I just... Here's the thing, I don't want to do it if I feel like it's super bad if we do it.

But the only reason they're saying don't do it is because you're like, oh, there's not enough time for... I don't know what. We have plenty of time. We have a whole show. There's still, yeah, we have an hour and a half of show. Well, as a former bartender, that's just gonna go bad because it went from warm to cold

and now he's gonna have to what? Oh, dude, I don't want it to go bad, right? That was suck. I don't know how alcohol works anymore, but if it's gonna go bad, if it's like a smoothie, you, like, warm to cold to, you have to, you have to have it. Yeah, skunky can wine face.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but do it. Yes you do. Remember that comedian was the skunky beer face guy for Bud Light for a while. If you drink bad beer, he makes the crazy face. Oh, yeah, the old was it an old guy? It wasn't older guy, but I believe that's a comic who was on America's got tell you he beat Keith on star search. Was that you inhaling your vape? No. Oh all right because I thought my I thought I was having a fucking stroke. I just heard like oh no Christine smokes a corn cob pipe now. Yeah. No. Christine's a liar. I'm looking at her emails.

Why are your emails coming up? This is nuts. Who's that? What is that guy saying? Oh, what does Christine go to on her computer? We're getting to see all of it right now. I mean, Jeff Ross is, I'll say this, I'm looking at his photos.

He is, he's hope to anybody, the things that if you have to look a certain way to make it, you don't. You just have to be Jewish and well connected. Yeah. That's all you take. Hey, what's up, Lou? Black, Lou? Black Lou. Please drink it. Drink it. Drink it. I just see him coming off the train. So angry and then walking in and seeing empty

campaign bottles. I mean, that would be his inner fury that burns I'd also like him to come in and as soon as the door we see him like over there stuck on like and that's why campaign It's pretty much a teenager wouldn't even know if she had too many You're men you're menging it you're menging it What is it? Huh? What is it? Huh? What is it? It's winding the can. I couldn't guess why we can't say it. He wants to do it with him here. It's his thing. Okay. Digim's gonna be like gives like a Somalye thing for canned wine. Yes. So many new flavors. Oh my gosh. You're so excited. Can you bring it up?

Can I see the cans the cans look good? They're lovely cans. So if you drink it packaging is to die. It's like a sparkly wine in a can like a Canada dry like a ginger real type thing. Yes Wow, and you get shit-faced off these you get and I think this is in the copy You will get shit-faced off of these two two campaign wines. Yes, one that we tried, the rosé. Right. Right. It was, if you drink two cans of it, full bottle of wine.

Really? A couple of months ago. Alcohol content. I used to drink wine back when I was a kid. We lived in a house that was split and the landlord made his own wine. And I would go in the basement and just steal jugs of it and go to the park and fucking just Hillbilly a bottle of wine and get fucked up if DJ Lou Had four campaign cans. He would definitely try to wrestle a stranger Come on you son of a bitch. I still got it. Give me one. Let me try. No. You want to try one?

This probably won't get you back in the drinking on. Sure, not at all. It's just cute stuff. Be great if it did. Take a little sip of bottles and James. Oh, I probably shouldn't say bottles and James what we're talking about campaign. So what do you buy like a six pack? Is it like like a like a like a white claw? Shit dude, for sure. I mean, no, it's four packs. It's a four pack. Yeah, you don't want to, they don't want to be responsible for that people cranking six of these. Mixed berry looks good.

I love the purple's my favorite color. They're all delicious. What does it taste like? Depends on the thing, the peach mimosas I've had and the bubbly rosé, the original two flames. Right, the first one, peach mimosas was the first one. Cause when we shot gun them, I did that and did understand why you were so ripped, but you did the wall.

The rosé is the motherfucker. That's the one that, yeah, a kitchen and nuts. The peach mimosas a little less alcohol content, but the, uh, the mimosas, yes. So the, so all the new flavors of the mimosas, they still have the original. The bubbly rosé is my jam, but I still like the cheeseburger from McDonald's. You know what I mean? I don't get fancy. I don't go angus steak. Doesn't make any sense. You do just cheeseburger? Or double cheeseburger, yeah. I'm not a pound of a cheese, man.

Uh, what? It's the bun, the CD bun. I don't... Sesame seed bun is the thing. No, quarter pounders is too thick a hunk of meat. You mean awesome? No, because it's not awesome meat. Dude, a hamburger has no meat, it's like this little thin, weird patty. But a double cheeseburger has two of them jams.

A double cheeseburger is almost a quarter pounder. A double cheeseburger tastes so good. I love double cheeseburgers from McDonald's so much. A quarter pounder dude, I love a quarter pounder. Cheese. I skip right over the quarter pounder and jump to Big Mac. Do you wanna hear a secret?

You can do it McDonald's now? This isn't a secret, I bet. I bet I know this. What's the secret? Serf and turf. Nope. The secret menu stuff. You can get a chicken big Mac. Two fried chickens in the big Mac with the special sauce. It's a chicken patties. It's Mac chicken patties, but just say you want a chicken big Mac and it comes with chicken fried chicken. I just had McDonald's like chicken big mac and it comes with chicken. Fried chicken. I just had McDonald's like two nights ago and I wanted to have it tonight.

Okay. Okay, is that what we just do? Is that how we talk to friends? You know what I had last night? Is my favorite, Bon John. What's that? Oh. I've heard of it.

I don't know what it is. Korean fried chicken. They have one in the city that's open to one in the morning and they deliver Korean fried chicken I Will fucking put it up against any fried chicken even like you know Auntie maize Chicken in South Carolina. Whatever fucking chicken place that you know all right Phil on Salmo Is in Panterra on tour this weekend bro. You know why it comes in drumsticks. I love a drumstick.

Fried chicken drumstick and it's Korean fried chicken, it comes in hot and then like sweet. Oh my god. I don't do chicken on the bone. Oh, chicken on the, what do you do? Just a breasted chicken? Yeah. Oh my god, do you like chicken on the bone? Not really, no.

Who the- I'll dev wings, but other than that, I just like white the flat bones chicken breasts chicken on the bone is where the the taste comes from oh yeah the gristle and the veins intended shit what I'm afraid dude dude fry listen don don't don't doesn't like chicken on the bone is she likes white meat chicken yes yeah fuck you same thing with turkey She makes chicken. Give me all that big hump. I don't want that Chewy stuff and yellow shit hanging off of it from the taste

Are you kidding? I love a drumstick, but I don't like the ligaments. So I'll stop short of the bone You don't eat all the meat on the drumstick on the bone. You guys don't have to eat chicken I don't need a chicken right. I like crab meat a lot When I was in that tour with Bert and we did the Crack and open those little Maryland crap. He bring up fucking We know you're on tour with birds disgusting. He was talking to you daily. Oh, we were talking about his nephonia They mean bird. We have like a phone. Yeah, exactly. We get it. You're on tour. You're on the cruise Small print next to Mike Calta.

Opening up and taking a part of crab, especially that size to eat the meat was the most worthless thing I've ever been a part of in my life. No, I agree to do crab- And it's gross. But also the things that you're like, they're like, well the fun part of doing it yourself is you get to get all that yellow gunk

that's in the thing which they call it the butter or something, I forget what they call it. But it's so gross. It's disgusting. I hate lobster. I hate crab. I don't hate these things at all. I like eating it but I don't want to have to fucking do crab. I went to Maryland. My friend is from there and we went through this crab. The the number one crab place. It felt like I just performed five abortions. I was throwing up, but just that guk on your hands and you're hitting it with a hammer. You get a pull the dick out

and then rip those. Stupid eyes are looking at you. Yeah, I did not enjoy that at all. But chicken, like if you get a chicken dish, like a chicken catchatory. You know what chicken catchatory is? Do you want, would you rather have like white breast meat in that, or would you, I mean, it's not, it's made of rice. I'd rather have ground beef. A thigh, would you have a thigh? I don't know, I didn't do that. You don't like a thigh?

Now I've had, Bobby, can I say? Yeah? Recent times, I've had, Bobby, can I say? Yeah? Recent times I've had a thigh boneless thighs that were fried up. The meat is really tasty because it's dark meat. I get this to taste your meat, but I don't want the gross that comes with it. A thigh and the bone is where all the flavor comes from.

I mean, he's mad. You suck about. He is. I mean, I, I felt that was like my first stepfather. He used to hit me. I had that same and I haven't felt that since Christmas. 82. Wow.

When you're thinking that's all this be super quiet. Wow, he is infuriated right now. His guest is about to be served Wow, he's mad. Did you put his bag down loud? What damn man, he had asshole substitute teacher energy We were both holding campaigns in that moment that would have been great By the way, is he wearing a campaign shirt or a micro is a grab on right grab one right now grab one right now. Yeah, we got it. Go go go. We got it. Okay. Grab one right now.

All right. Vamp. Do I'm gonna get it? I'll get it. You get it right here. All right. I get it. Vamp. Um, I think Christine probably gonna got it. Come on. She's looking what me. I uh, right now, uh, Jacob came in and he has the, I mean, just angry energy. There's a lot of shit going on. And we're going to, we're supposed to do this whole thing with his campaign and he left angry. And now Jay is getting drinks out of the bag,

campaign wine company, by the way. Fantastic. I don't drink wine, but if I did, I would drink campaign wine. And now he's hurry up, he's coming. I'm scared, I'm scared. I'm scared too, just take it. Oh, boy. Just go, no, go, go, go, do it.

I'm trying to get it. Why are you taking so long? I'm trying. Hurry up. Oh my God. Faster. Jay does things so slow. I was picking the flavors.

All right, go, go, go, go, go. Throw it over, throw it. Now you're gonna throw these. I have a why. I don't think I go go go. Throw it over, throw it. No, you don't want to throw these. Why? I don't think I could be. Blood orange mimosa? I don't think I could beat up Jacob. He's really a shade.

Blood orange mimosa for you? This is gonna be bad. I can't see. You're not gonna do it? I don't understand why we're not supposed to. He's gonna get mad. He's gonna get mad. Er.

All right, listen guys, you gotta make a choice right now. Are you doing, are you not doing it? Lou? Let me see if I can do an impression of a can opening. Tch. I'm just saying we can enjoy it. I don't think we can enjoy it if he's gonna shame us. No, I know that I can.

I'm saying I still don't understand what he's gonna be upset about. This has never been made clear to me yet All he said was don't mention tasting don't mention it at all. We've already mentioned it 75 times now I'm so no worry. Did he find out that this batch is poisons or something? I know are you gonna do it? It's like it just got recalled they found rats and most of them Pretty shitty label. Okay, let's not do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Yeah, I was gonna do that. I ready? One. I think. Two. Hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.

I think the label, I think they're all the same flavor and he wrapped the new flavor wrappers around it. I think they're all bubbly rosé. Take that sticker off, Lou. Oh, don't do it. Get that sticker off. Lou, don't do it. I think we're gonna hoodwink. So I'll around it. I think they're all bubbly rosé. Take that sticker off. Oh, don't do it. Get that sticker off. I think we're gonna be in a hood wing. I'll do it. I think we're being a hood wing. What if it's just a booblay? You sure, Lou? Yeah, it's just shotty. Because this one doesn't have a sticker at all. Lou's has a sticker. I wouldn't drink the one with a sticker. Mine is a new flavor. Yeah.

Yeah, I think you wrap the new flavor sticker. Look, everything else the one with a sticker. Mine is a new flavor. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're after new flavor sticker. I mean, the old flavor. Look, everything else is the same, Lou. Look at the top of the cans. Where your sticker stops. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I don't know. Something's going on. Can I see it? Dad's gonna be mad. Why, I don't want to hold it. No, he might be coming. Don't want to drink. You guys are so afraid of this dude

I'm not gonna let him push me around the studio anymore. How about that? Jacob You can't come in here and just bully us all around anymore. You piece of shit Once as soon as our black friend left the studio all of a sudden you're big dick in all of us It's an old. Yeah, it's an older can with a stick around it. It's a little cast Stick around for sure. For sure. Oh fucking rip. Bobby you have a knife always let's get that stick around. I do have an after you do you need a knife I don't think you need a knife I think you just

hello. So anyways. Yeah. We um. Hey man. I don't think I'd listen to the show. I asked you not to you can't be an alcoholic for one second. No, I asked you I asked an alcoholic not to mention alcohol can't help himself Especially you know, he's especially now. He's a non-spoker told you guys dad was gonna be mad Why let me see that though. I didn't open it. I know I didn't open my side open either This big J. O. Chris and Jacob not me. Wow, oh my God. No, it was you. I didn't do anything. You can shut your mouth. Like I said, I knew you wouldn't.

All right, it's a good comedy bit. You guys know comedy. True. But what's, can you explain to us why we weren't allowed to say it at all? I just want the beer, I had stuff to explain, and it was a moment from my brother's business, but he needed his drink.

I want to go home. Yeah, but the joke was all about that. It wasn't my idea. No, I don't want to drink you fucking piss. Christine. Okay, Christine, can you help me? Bobby, it's okay. Jacob's just mad right now.

Jake, I have a present for you from a camper. Do you want that? Yay. I don't want anything. I got a present for you too. I don't want to do this now. Oh, come on, Jake. You want a brand campaign now?

I asked you not to bring it up. Do I look like I'm in a good mood? No one asked me anything. Lucy, can we drink one? And then we had a good laugh about drinking one. And then also, something the fish is going to go with these stickers. Jacob, I'm going to drink one too.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I was going back. I'm going to throw away 39 years of sobriety next month. I'm gonna do it for you. Brother's company because I'm excited. What happened on the train? What happened? I waited. I left the house at like three o'clock. Do I mean what was like the delay was? Yeah, there was some delay on the, there was something broke down. There was a jam in front of us. The was near the gym, 45 or 50 minutes later, and then it broke down on the track, and

then everyone had to exit. Only one car, the front car made it to the platform, so the entire train had to exit. Two of the train. The train, and then I had to get another train into the city and then nothing was going uptown so then I had to walk uptown. How many blocks? From 42nd. That sounds like you can use a cold cool campaign can one. Bubbly Rose one for the traveler and you. I'm excited about this. Can I tell you which one I'm looking at? The Mixberry.

Looks fantastic. Jacob. Jacob, I'm not... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, Jacob. Jacob, come on, dude. Listen. What I said was, you know,

what I knew was going to happen happened. What happened? What happened? Couldn't I heard you bring it up blue Don't act the I didn't see that last text. I was busy running a fucking radio show No, you said it in the beginning of the show Because I thought was the guy before the show I thought once dad comes in it comes down and and cools off We could have a nice drink like gentlemen. You are the dad of the show. That's cool. Yeah, I'm like an uncle.

I'm like the uncle that people didn't want but I moved in. I'm your nerdy kiss ass son. Bobby was talking all kinds of shit when you left. That's so fucked up. He was. I was not. He was like, ooh dad's being bitchy. I mean you scared me.

I'm like shut up. Wait I don't have to drink this. Can we can we can we start over dude Jacob look at me. Five fire effects talks here sex and 103. Yeah. 866 966 919 69 if you want to call in. I want to hear sponge again. If you want to call in call in. Sixth day. Sixth day. Down the drain. Can I ask a question? Because I'm not a drinker. And when I drank, we didn't have, they didn't have, they only had beer and like hard alcohol. And you had to make

drink. Coolers probably. No, no, when I drank, not even wine canals, they had, well, no, they didn't have it. They had, you had to make it, you had to like make a mudslide or they didn't have fizzy, you know, drinks like that. Well, Zima, Zima came out when I got sober. 80s or something. Yeah, I came out when I got sober.

I got sober, so, but I'm just wanna and Jacob. Yeah. Oh. Probably got sober in 71. I did not. I didn't know that. Once Jim Morrison dies, he didn't even get to do it. I was born in 71. I did not. I had a gut. Once Jim Morrison dies, he didn't get a gut. I was born in 70.

So that's 71. Bobby got kicked out of Jefferson Starship. Jefferson Airplane for going too hard. Do you believe that? Grace Wick said Bobby was going too hard. So dude. Like on that, like, okay, so I don't understand alcohol anymore. Like if I'm going to a party, right, if I'm gonna go somewhere, could I as a dude,

cause I always thought that like drinks like this. Whoa. Well, I'm trying. Bobby would ask is if I show up with a four pack of this, am I getting into the, am I getting into Rachel Williams this party or not? Oh for sure So when you like if I come in with this is this like Is this like a fancy thing or can I just bring this to like a football game?

Yeah, you want to bring it everywhere. I bring it everywhere. I can bring it It comes in a little case of four pack. How many of these do I drink? Take it on a hike take it to the little house. You can take it to your property, your new property. You can, so you can take, so my wife could have this, because my wife drinks a very little bit, but I like when she drinks,

but she doesn't, she, she likes wine, she likes white wine. Yeah, she's got a real, she's not, she's, this is for her. So how many of these do what I drink if I was gonna have one of these? Do I drink all four? I say you give four to Dawn and then go in for the Jacob method again.

You know the one that makes Christine piss with laughter? You mean the sexual assault from behind? Grab her waist. I'm not your husband and then just blindfold her and take what you want. I don't remember. I only listen to bits and pieces. You see that Jacob, you're scary attitude scared away, black low. You're happy? Now he's gone. He walked right off.

So what we're Jake, Jake, where, what was this company? What did you, brother? My brother founded it with his partner. And anyway, we kind of announced it a few months back on the bonfire. Thank you for that. And then we only had the one flavor. What was the flavor? It was the peach mamosa. And then that was the mixed cocktail. And then there's just a rosé in a can,

which has got the 12% alcohol. So that'll knock you on your ass. But the mixed cocktails have the 6% but now the big debut today and I hope every will one will Try it out is that there's a three new flavors blood orange passion fruit and the mix berry mix berry looks great I mean the color of it looks great. They're all great. That's the one I tried them all. The cans look awesome too. Thank you. Well, I gotta be honest with you. That's not what I was in them. That was a prototype for the mail. For just for this. Oh, okay. Guess what I was gonna say?

I know this gives like you're trying to drug somebody because it says the blood orange mimosa, but it's actually the rosé That's the which is substantial different alcohol content. It goes, no, no, if you have a problem with alcohol, just have this, this is just barely any alcohol. That's the date rape camp. Yeah, this is a date rape flavor. It's a mix of blood orange, mimosa, label, and bubbly rosé. I've had them both, we were gonna try the new ones. Please do.

But I have both, date. I've tried both of their flavors. you are fucking good at passive aggressiveness. I mean fantastic Is it past? He went please do and then I would like to try it Well, I need An actual new flavor though. I want you to try all three of them a little little taste of all three. Well, that's the bubbly rosé. Yeah, take a sip. Oh, that's just the one you've tried already. Yeah, but both of these are, but I grabbed the blood orange mimosa, but it is a bubbly rosé. I don't know. Well, open it up. Let's see. Maybe it was just a label. You're going to try that one with the can with the sticker? Yeah. Okay. Christine, do you have like

what? What are the odds as was tampered with? Christine, do you have like what? What are the odds as was tampered with? Christian, do you have anything in writing, Christine? Nothing. Oh my God. Not a thing. Oh, Robert, how are you? Good, how are you? Oh, I'm enjoying my day very much. What is that you drinking that looks so interesting? Oh, this? It's a campaign wine company, can. Blood orange, Mimosa. Oh, I love blood orange and I love mamosa. Who doesn't, baby? Beautiful night. Wanna smoke a long thin cigarette with me?

I do, I have a misty right here. Thank you. GPCs are my brand, but I'm a piece of shit. No, can't paint that there, buddy. I'm gonna buy some. I'm gonna buy some. I don't want you to drink any. No, I don't want you to get some of the dons. I want gonna buy some. I'm gonna buy some. I don't want you to drink any. No, I don't want you to get some of the dons.

I want to buy some for Max. The flavors are for children, for sure. Some parents will give their kids a little taste. I want to make fishing funner. Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to

seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcombie.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo