The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Burned at the Stake

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

midroll- 23:51 A preacher named Greg Locke is convinced that there are witches among his congregation!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson, Dan Soder. We're good with Scrum. And all the time. We return to the bonfire.

A serious accent. Back to talk one of three. I'm Dan Soder. That's Big J. Ocarson. We're talking about preachers discovering the witches. Witches. Witches. Witches.

Witches. Let's watch this preacher. Greg Locke is his name. We got first and last names of six witches That are in our church and you know what strange three of you are in this room right now bitch get out Spacks the microphone on the thing. Oh, yeah, dude three of you in the room right now I like a pretty good so Andrew Schultz The freighter you you stinkin which you devil worship andist witch. We cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ. We break your spells. Yeah, this guy pauses. This guy is wearing his outside jacket. He just popped in for a guest. Yeah, dude. He's doing it in a tell. I'm surprised he doesn't have black gloves.

He's having a drink of coffee. Oh, great. Great. You want to get up there and fucking? You want to fight? You got anything new? You want to go fucking bless the mic? He goes I got this fucking wait I'm getting ready to fucking yeah, yeah, yeah Bring up bring up don't say special guest. Oh, I want you guys know yeah if you could say you know like lamb a god Bubba-bah also do you know anyone else that's doing stuff about like which is they're here Which is your here is three of them in the room right now three of them in the room is anyone doing that? Okay, and then maybe like a thigh smack calls other preachers like a tele calls Yeah, it goes hey,, man, put it check.

Anybody doing stuff about letter to the Corinthians, and more like what if they were texts? Like how would they get the letters? You know, like if Jesus had a smartphone, okay, I'm gonna go run it. I'm gonna go run it down. I'm gonna run it down at lakeside. Didn't even take the jacket. You're gonna earn it.

Yeah, pull it all the way back, Christine. That almost looks like the wall wall jacket that that camper go on. Go from beginning. Yeah, let it all the way back, Christine. That almost looks like the wall wall jacket that they can't forget. You know I'm going from the beginning. Yeah, let it rip Got first and last names, uh, oh six witches, ooh That are in our church bitch Strange three of you are in this room right now to you are menstruating. I can smell it like a bear

I'm looking at you darling. I can smell your pisses like I'm looking at you, darling. I can smell your pussies like I'm multiple mugs. I'm better than the fume, Eurowitch. You gotta blood it puss. Now, which might do something crazy, and tell your wife, that you hit on them, and they did not reciprocate that. Oh. Because that's what witches do make up lives. This dirty witch might say that somebody was stealing from the church funds, but their dirty

bitches. He's getting ahead of himself. One of the bunch of things he did. Also, the witch might say you parked in a handicap spot, but you don't have a sticker and I would say you're a dirty witch. I got your name, bitch. One of these witches might say some crazy shit like he's been. I saw him stealing out of the collection plates.

And I would crazy which bitch. Yeah, I got your name. First last. Give it a tap. Give it a tap. Tap. Tap. Give it a tap. So my bit. Looks like a football coach. He really does. Three of you in the room right now. Two pockets, dude. Casual. Two of you got wet pushes because I just brought you up. Watch this.

Feel that? It's your lips quivering. Two of you like two in a pink one of the sticks. One of you just does anal. First date. It's free to bitch. We ain't afraid of you you stinkin' witch. Yeah. You devil worship in Satanist witch.

Pull that back. Christine pull that back for drop sakes. Luke let's get some of these on wax. Three of you in the room right now. You better look at my eyeballs. We're afraid of you you stinkin' witch. You devil worship in Satanist witch. We cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ. We break your spells. We break your curse We got your first name. We got your last name. I got your social security number. I got your Netflix Sign in. I know where your kids go to school. I know everything about you your favorite kinds of cereal you dirty witch By the way, I know we can't really hear he is killing oh he's murdering killing you can hear break your spails we break your curse we got your first name we got your last name we even got an address for one of you all right that would we're like are

you harassing people you know witches aren't real. You want to be crazy threat so it's like every girl in that place goes am I one of the six and why the one he has the address People get your blog. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna Cape Fear you you wish I'm a hang under your car and wherever you go I'm gonna be there I'm on up life and like the hero at the movie Pastor Lock. What are you doing on our vacation house? Are you all tattooed up? Yes! I can't fear! You just sit in there.

Is that Pastor Lock watching a problem-child? Oh no! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Pastor Lock, are you following us around doing weird stuff?

Maybe! Which? So much is cough wrong and I'll exposure in front of everybody on this tent. You stinkin' wits. I would not just do that from the guest though. Yeah, aren't there witches? Shouldn't they be exposed? He goes, but until then, go in peace.

Just know we got your address. Keep bringing me my Yonels and my Arizona iced teas. I won't expose you, you wits! Do you think there's people in the audience that think there's witches? Yes, I believe most of them are I believe there's some people in the audience he's killing with this yeah They're losing their shit. They're so excited. Yeah, you're hearing him. He's in a tent first of all You know hard is to kill an attempt Jane. I've done comedy intense not easy not easy at all this guy's like this is like destroying it gathering The juggles yeah, dude destroying

This guy's like destroying it gathering the jugglers. Yeah, dude destroying destroying doing no ICP humor No, that's fucking yeah, you're like to wear wearing a suit This guy's murder this guy's killing it with a jacket on in a tent He's talking about which is he didn't take his fucking spring jacket off. Yeah, not even sparring guys guys I'm not gonna hold you I'm not gonna do a bunch of shit up here. I just want to point out a couple of witches in this motherfucker I'm looking gonna do a bunch of shit up here. I just wanna point out a couple of witches in this motherfucker. I'm looking at you, Doris. Dude, going up and be like, you guys already see some shit. I'm about to rock this tent. He goes, all right, he goes, just goes,

give me the light of 12, I'll probably do like 20 though. Hey, when you hear me get to the, I know where you live, I'm coming for your evil spirit. That's gonna be meh, that's my closet. That's kinda my, yeah, I'm dipping on after that. Just just get ready to get you know, I'm gonna get off soon after that You are sent to this church to destroy us. You are sent to this church to lure us in you are sent to this church to cast spell This is some of you absolutely reading like he fucked a girl that said she's about to blow up his spot It's 100% reading that yeah that he fucked three women on the side

and now he's like, I got juicy gossip. They're riches. I got your address. I'm on a blown load on one of your couches. Yeah, he's gonna tell me to suck me off when I'm watching the weather. She's me at sex last Wednesday. I lost time last Wednesday.

I blocked out. I was in prayer and I woke up. You did some witch shit to me. Oh my god I had steamy pants. You which you witch me up a boner for your beautiful fucking crazy body You did that witch thing where you put my hard boner between your big witchy boobs Flapping around all super naturally and what you go up and down up and down and look at me and I go Which get on? This guy clearly just fucks someone else.

He rules. Because you befriended that witch. Two of you in my wife's ladies Bible study and you know who you are and we go ask you to get out. So if you're asked to get out, obviously, if you asked to get out of a Bible study, you're gonna, you just think of a witch. If you're, I mean like how fast that person

Is going to realize it organized religion generally speaking is horse shit? Yeah, it's all when you do that It's all power because the person's not gonna be a witch. Yeah, so what if they are though It's the one with the hook nose and a word on it And she's like you guys all right. You know what I will call that one Tina get up here and she's like I've been exposed my pretty I'm gonna say right now vermuda is a witch Grum with the asri He'll upset me past the great. Yeah, I was in your life's

She cooked our children into a pie! Oh, our fat cute children! She fed them! Can't feed in them! Turn them into pie! Pie! Oh, she was over at all. He's just saying this because he tried to have sex with me,

and I said, for Cypricate. He said, I bet your tints not as cold and a brass bra. He's making this witchcraft nonsense. We dry-humped at the Christmas party, and he's weird at it. Have you met my cat Octavius? I should have which is, I realize I have an unfortunate look This was my great-grandmother's pointy hat and son of a bitch if I don't have my dad's nose check check fashion We this is all in line Why do I have a broom to clean up stripey socks?

It's just a thing oh he's being silly Which I'm not a witch. Oh, I live up on that cabin on I'm just doing that one long being like. I'm gonna be spending some funny like family guys doll cutaway. Just go to the vlogger and just like just once in a very witchy is holding a broom and he's like, you're gonna see that. No, no, no, no, no, it's not me. I know where he are.

Guess what? One of these on my bowling team. Haven't been picking up those hairs. Lot of open frames. Lot of open frames. Lot of open frames. Lot of evil, open frames. Open frame doesn't carry over to the next frame. It's almost useless.

And that's how we lost to the Muslims last week. In our religious bowling league. Going three teams. We all led in polytheistic religions. Fuck those people. We got all six of their names. Since the started. Two of them had already been confirmed. Well, that thing everyman said it. Yep. First and last night, this chick is new to our church and don't know none of you. So you got a choice. You can leave with your spails.

Dude, saying this chick is really funny thing for a pastor to say. This chick. This dinghy broads just sitting here like an actual... I came up like, NEE NEE NEE NEE! What am I? I'm a poison video. Because I'm gonna help you out of this bus. Oh no, I bought this broom on the way here

and didn't have time to take it home first. This is an unfortunate coincidence. You need to do a little self-reflection This is how I look I was sick. I actually have cancer There I said it. I'm going through radiation. That's why I'm green Think it's gonna come up so in church. That's why we're the hat So feel bad now. Not a witch. The ward is unfortunate also. Yes. I'm suffering from meso-thedio and I'm fighting it. And now you guys have to feel bad. I didn't want you to push into this. I'm sorry, I called you, which I only were dying. No, I'm living with cancer. I'm going to don't worry. I'll

rebound. You ain't seen the last of all the wicked witches. Yeah, it's just out. You know what? Son of a bitch is right there. This guy really did fuck a woman that he wants out of his church. You know, some of you're here. Some of you're looking at me going like, is it me? Is it me? You know if it was you? Yeah, you know if it was you if we met up at the red roof in off 9-5. One of these crazy

Witches that thinks yes means no. Oh come on They don't understand when your body saying yes, even though your mind saying no Oh, yeah, a couple glasses of wine talking about Jesus starting to kiss and then she wants to stop it That's a witch one of these witches here probably gonna tell my fat wife what I said to him. Oh, bitch You better not say nothing than their Bible study tomorrow He rules You can leave with your spails. Okay, oh by yourself Oh, I'll show up next Sunday all right with a stage full of rooms and

I'll give you one and I'll fly your tail up out of this place in the name of Jesus, but we ain't playing your spell cast in the name of Jesus. Does he know how, does he know how witch broomsticks work? Also, why would you buy that many broomsticks just to give one away? Just bring one. Just bring one and give it to him. Or six, as you say you know, they're all six. He's six. He says he's gonna put broomsticks in, and second give it to him, so they can fly him out of here.

This guy believes the witches are not even like, he thinks it's broomstick witches. It's not even like evil intentions. It's not even people who believe in like, you know, Jacob, we watch supernatural, a lot of the witches, which is a person, they just studied whatever of like that stuff. Yeah, like it wasn't like, like he's talking about a green.

A green work. Which is a lot of her work. Herb work That's a great explanation for which craft guys a lot of her work. Yeah, let an odd ingredients So you can't really get in the common market. I'd say it's more meddling with herbs than it is evil It's shops at wet markets, which is yeah at any moment he could be like it's not even October You have Halloween witches. Yes, that's always sticking. He's talking about a green-faced No, long finger fucking here with a cat in a pumpkin all the time I'll fly by the way, but he's like I'm gonna get rooms and fly out of here

Do you think he's gonna tell the rooms rooms take these girls out of here out of here right now? Or is he gonna put them on a broom and just like, give them like a one two. Give them the Uncle Phil. Jazzy Jeff. I don't understand why they're not more students. Jazzy Jeff is on a broom.

He goes, up. Three damn, none of them flying. There he goes. All right, let's try this next one. That last one, mine, it fucked up more. Oh my God, Greg, please. I sort of got a minute, which is absolutely stupid. All right, yeah. I was vegan in college. Why are you doing?

I'm not gonna tell anybody that you tried to hold my hand and elevate my god, dude So what you were drunk and tried to kiss him to strap bitch? You're a witch another witch. New come till they go out You know the witch You know the witch Keep keys sage burning games. Oh, no, wait bring that back. You said sage burning if you burn we have sage in our house which oh no, okay your address with a stage full of brooms and I'll give you one and I fly your tail up out of this place in the name of Jesus, but we ain't playing your spell casted which crab nonsense sage burning games. Everybody okay?

Yeah, I'm alright. But witches are like, nope. And you're a little dog too, you're out, witch. He's got no, even like historic, overligious, come on, he is. What witches are. He is doing straight up wizard of osm That's his only experience. It's his only experience. He thinks it's like the fucking snow white giving that I don't want your apple Which yes, hmm, okay? There's like probably like a serial killer just in the crowd. He's like, I mean, he's not even brought me up.

He was even me. He was, God, just told about a bunch of herbalists. I'm the crystal creek strangle. And this guy doesn't even know. I've been sending him clues. I've been killing people in this parish for fucking years. I carve one new letter of my first name into the hearts of everyone on my victims. I'm a show killer. I put the bodies into very disgusting poses. I'm doing it in order with the words, but there's some reason jumbling them.

Yeah, okay. I'm telling them the clues. He goes, I look at their board and it's just like, Yage. Who is Yage? Yeah. Just got to flip the two letters, right? Just do a try J.

Try. Try J if you use it. Yage. Yeah. We're gonna go, I'm gonna go canvas the two letters. Just do it. Try Jay try Jay if he's Yage yeah, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go canvas the area. Yeah, you guys remember Tanya she grabbed my dick over my pants time to call her a witch hey witch You just got it by the way I can watch this guy's whole sermon by the way This is just this is just a highlight of his He's like they're sitting here right now. It goes, everybody okay? The witches are sitting here all go and like,

oh no, why, aren't they evil? They're just staying, like, the whole audience should be looking around the room for the witches. I would be like, can you call them out now if they have horrible intentions for us? Can we find out who they are? No, I'll get my chance to leave one in the room. It's always so cryptic.

They don't have a way to do anything. I could snap my fingers right now, and they've disappeared like Thanos. I'm a Thanos. I'm a Thanos. But I'm gonna give one more chance to leave one on the road, not tell anybody who they are. What if the person stops coming to the church?

Because they're the witch, but they stay friends with somebody who's in the church still, isn't it still poisoning the well? It's so, in in order this guy everybody that audience who's cheering Dan like you know the chance they might be making a decision one day on like your home loan yeah or you're in that fucking crazy order of five you to revive you it's a nurse I mean Jesus Christ I mean quite is he drinking a coffee in front of the cut now there's my two religions. Am I right? caffeine and

God? Is there anybody who preaches this that ever means that you think or they're just performers who learn how to perform a thing? I bet there's people that that have tricked themselves into believing it. This guy doesn't you think I think he believes this. There's witches in the audience. Do you think that really think he hyped himself up? But you think the same way that same way when you're a younger and you could hype yourself up to tell a girl that you're going to fuck her all night, knowing damn well that you're going to blow your load and want to go to bed. He does this with like, God, he like whips himself and do a

frenzy. Oh, yeah. When he sees, he just knows the words to say, it's just kind of bullet point words to say, but I'm saying to say, you're saying to see, believe it. No. Like he knows there's not a thing as which is. It's probably a woman that there's woman. I don't know what to believe. These guys are the least believe. Like the only way you could actually do this and pull off like making money and having a life based off robbing people for nonsense like this,

is if you, like I think they wholeheartedly don't, you have to not believe it at all to be able to pull off the scam of it. I think, or a part of you has to be so greedy and broken that you're like, I'll believe it when I'm around them. Like the same way that people can like, like Bernie made off, can like run this Ponzi scheme. And at the same time, telling these people

like, take this money out, pay them, and them and keeping it going and like to keep that going I think you have to have a part of you that's like so greedy that you're like I could I could say whatever I need to them to their face But I think this guy doesn't believe oh, I bet I'd argue this guy's not religious. Well, let's see it He believes his mission wholeheartedly. Let's see that I want to see that there's a war. Yeah, let's see that second video I just want to see yeah a war of what which Yeah, let's see that second video. I just want to see, yeah, a war of what? Which isn't people? I don't know, here we go, ready. No, they tried to scare us. Ideology, no.

Yeah, it's war shit. He talks in all battles. I think Jacob's right. I think Osteen talks in success. Ways, this guy talks in battles. Like Osteen's always like, give the guy who's gonna give you money. He's gonna give you lots of money. Cause he loves you. And this guy, like, those things always like, give the guy who's gonna give you money. He's gonna give you lots of money,

because he loves you, and this guy's like, whoa, he's like a Nike commercial, he's like, are you ready to fight all the time? They, evil's coming for us, because their mother might be a demon. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I You know what's going on here in the campus of Global Vision. It is officially 620 p.m. on Sunday night and we are still going strong from the 1038 a morning service and we still have 20 or 30 people in line. Completely foolish. Yeah, this guy is just taking money, just taking, right?

That hoodie probably costs $2,000. Look at the nice people. People who went to school with him, like he's talking to his high school friends, they think he's a piece of shit or high schools like other kids in high school unless they're getting a cut He was a piece of shit. I'm telling you this guy You see would a never liked him such a nice hoodie would a never liked him at any level of my life He's just a wow look at the one of the comments the first comments Spreading fear and conspiracy through hyped up loudmouth preaching is not the Lord's work,

but I suspect you'll find that out sooner or later. That would, if I really believed in, you know, what I was doing and I read that, that would actually kind of freak me out, because I'm like, well, you think I was pissed. Like if you thought you were doing the right thing, he's clearly, yeah, I think this guy, my argument is not even that he's not religious,

that he's a terrible person. What does the reply say to that? Distrained folk dolls. Yeah, absolutely. The only fear is the fear the demons have of being revealed. Oh my God. And the only lie is Satan blinding everyone to it. But I really hope you'll find that out soon or not later.

Hey, don't you do a favorite cue? Click on the picture that girl has because I'm pretty sure she's a picture of her ass. Yeah, it's like a hot. Yeah. She thinks the demons, but her first thing is Jesus is King and blah, blah, blah. But then it's her butt out, living sacrifice, Jim owner. And she's a dog trainer and girl. Deathmau, just let's get her in.

Yeah, but I bet she's one of those people that's still like, she can, you know, those churches, they'll take your money if they're like, you can have crazy sex just like the, say sorry to God. Give me money. You're forgiven. Yeah, I wonder what their sex things are at those evangelical churches. It always gets messy. Yeah, it always gets messy.

It's never just like, you can be whore if you feel bad about it. Yeah. It's never just a guy being like, yeah, my wife and I, you know, we work on it. We work on our intimacy. Sometimes the sex is good and then it goes down. It's never normal like that. It's like, we don't touch because that's how Satan, but I can't have sex with some of the people I preach to because I'm getting the demons out. The text has them with my godges. Oh, this is my godstick. You want to talk my-

I'm not gay no more. That's a- I am deliberate. Have you seen that guy? I don't like this. No, his new videos, where he's saying, Kim Kardashian needs to be with a man who's delivered. Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm not. This guy is still doubling down that he's not gay anymore. Why thought he came out and said like he was gay, he just got caught up in the moment. Isn't video I saw. Oh, he's that he was like, no, I just I would feel much happy. He's got my first time in that church. Now, we're just so into it.

If that's the truth, I would feel much better about life if I knew that that guy was like, I'm gay. Yeah, I knew it was because it bums me out when those people are just like, nope, clamp on it. Why are there are gains in Dave Temple talking about like going heaven, like the fake, like the get catches me on it. Why are Derek Gaines and Dave Temple talking about like, going having like the fake like the, get catcher spirit on it? Yeah, like a thing. It's like, yes, because it doesn't happen.

Yes, not real at all. And because if it did happen to you, you'd never be the same. Why do they act like some people just deal with supernatural things? Like it's not that big of a deal. If you could, if you found out you could fly, your life would change. I fucking hate when someone tells us to, oh my God.

Dave Grohl said something who I love Dave Grohl. Who doesn't? He told a story on Stern, like not long ago to hear that. And he was like, when I turned the corner, we were recording in this old house, right? Was there they were recording or something? He was they were just a gut muddy boots dripping wet Saying something to me and the thing when I turned the corner and it was just Now no

That didn't happen he lived for years in a house with a ghost Yeah, that's what I mean. No, you didn't you'd be not okay and then just so you have a jerk off I'm able to shit comfortably. Yeah, it's you're watching a movie with your family and he goes Oh, it's just Edwin the old boat ghost Yeah, he was in a light he fell into his death in a lighthouse and found his way into this house So would you live with them? Yeah, it's just I would leave immediately. It's always nonsense I've every haunted house movie that's been the thought the second I would have found out that house is even remotely different. I'd be like get out of here

So I'll put someone said what I what I hate go get a new apartment in the city when I hated someone goes and then I saw them staying there It was doing this. He was wearing this. He's blah blah. I go. Oh, man. You're just like lying to me I go oh man you're just like lying to me Like this fucking sucks, and I got to act like just going like that's crazy. Do you think you see a chance He actually saw no is fucking hair would be white and he would never stop talking about that only It's the only thing you talk about for the rest of his life Like Dave what about Kirk oh my fuck? Kerko Bay because I don't know the Kerko Bay but I know there It keeps me up at night is this there's a thing living here an entity

Fisherman Phil and walks around in his boots. No one else can see him, but me I hate it. He's dead So just like oh, yeah, yeah, there's a ghost kind of like the dad in pet cemetery Come to me goes goes. Oh good it worked Yeah, that was the death and pets the material is take on the whole thing is oh look at that it worked. Oh my dead cat came back to life. I'm a little angry. Little fool. Just like oh look at that it did work. But that was a crazy thing you said happened to work. The guy with that huge head injury that's giving me life advice sitting in my bathroom. He's walk past him

and go have dinner with my kids. I'll Knowledge him. Yeah. Don't do this Lewis. Shut up. There's weirdo in your own. Shut up, dude. It's not in the bout you right now. That would be a great place to get is so over the fear of ghosts that you can get annoyed by ghosts. The the the actual best acting ever of what your life would be like. If you were seeing ghosts is the sixth sense. Yeah. It was that kid under a covers 24 hours a day afraid to go outside.

Yeah. Because he's right. He is. That's a nightmare of a life. Just to see dead people all the grimly. They seem to also be like wearing what they wore when they died or from however they died. It's horrific.

So like, that's what I mean, like Dave Grohl. Oh yeah, oh, you know, funny story. I used to live with a ghost. Funny story. It's the, it's you'd be your entire identity if that was true. Yeah, or you would be very upset by it. So anytime someone tells me, goes, no, I had that a ghost before I just go,

well, I just chalked you down a little bit on my friendship, like you're looking me right in the face and lying to me. My friend Michelle said that she's seen orbs. I don't really know exactly what she means by that, but apparently it's some flash of light that you see from the mouth. You know I asked her when she said that to me,

I go, did me a fair Michelle? Let me put you in a chokehold and tell it again so I could just pretend the blood wasn't going to your brain when you said that nonsense. Well, you don't know, dude. She could have been in a chokehold and tell it again so I could just pretend the blood wasn't going to your brain when you said that nonsense. Well, you don't know, dude. She could have been in a female boy tiley again. Now she's got a little CTE. She just sees orbs of light.

She took too many shots to the frontal lobe. Yeah, I was going to say also, she sees orbs and it's like, oh, do you see orbs in photos? They're actually spirits of loved ones. I don't think this is the same thing as as the, by the way, why do you see orbs in their pictures and stuff. It's the same thing when they go, everyone's like, there's no explanation for what's going on with this ship, this unidentified flying object,

and then like special effects guys just do it all. They recreate 100% of it. Do I count it's very easy to do? You know, what about the stuff though that was declassified by the Navy that they couldn't experience? They explained it ago, that's what happens a this speed rate camera with camera flares and they just redo it and You're like oh of course, which you don't believe in aliens Not all that that there's no we have no contact with them or if we do it's on the highest level and we don't know about it

No, there's no body in area 54. Area 51. Area 51. Don't go there. I'm more important to aliens. I'm, yeah, aliens are real. I mean, it's ridiculous to think we're the only. I think we're also like, I think we're also like, little pig monkeys that they just come and watch.

And they're just like, look at these fucking idiots. And then what's the use for Jupiter and we don't know. Mars. I don't think our brains can understand it That's what I think I think we're beyond I think we are too small to comprehend what the universe is the universe But you think meaning everything that you think aliens have got here. I think yeah, I'm I Would I think the aliens have contacted human beings I Think the like with the atomic bomb. I think the, like with the atomic bomb,

I think that set something off with like a fucking ant. This is very specific. Yeah, dude, I listen to a lot of alien parking. You think the atomic bomb brought aliens here? Yeah. I think that's from aliens right here. I have no research on this, but let me tell you, it didn't, it didn't though.

I think there's people in high government offices that have worked high up that would disagree I'll think my I'll think my heels and the dirt for this one who is having that conversation with you not with me, but Joe Rogan had a guy on oh My god you know I don't know. No, no, no, no. That's not happening. Yeah, I'm gonna say. I'll be good to fuck around.

There was a great show on Netflix called Undocumented, which is, that was fun. When the guy was basically like, we're trying to redesign what they had. I would say if aliens, here's also, you should know about, what you know about me. If you're like, A, B, and C, I'd be like, man, it's wrong.

I don't know. This is the feeling, I hate it. Oh yeah, I don't think you're passionate. No. I'm passionate about fucking AEW's paper-per-view on Sunday. Oh, yeah Passionate about revolution about Eddie Kingston and Chris Jericho But I'm not I don't I also think we're dumb I think we're dumb monkeys on a rock and I think like to understand what the universe is that was he said all of us

I don't like the black who turned around you hard you said that. I didn't I didn't look because I don't make Everything race like you do. I wouldn't either What yeah, you're a racist dude. We're here to confront you about it. You always bring it up Humans evolved from monkeys J. What I don't care that lose white other Lou Again, you're the only one that calls him white Lou. I know DJ white very weird We're all doing it with nicknames now the weird ones white Jacob. There's no reason for that Yeah, there's only one Jacob, but I think like I don't think I don't think we know you know what I mean

Like I think when you die that's when you figure everything like when you're told everything You know, you guys are just fucking on a rock shut up. Yes, my DMT experience Really made me feel insignificant and pointless. But isn't that just the chemical that releases in your brain before you die? So I feel like it's just kind of like bullshit. Yeah, it's like calming your body down

so you could shit yourself and become worm food and evacuate, as they call it. Ash. Yeah, well, you gotta become, you know, I mean, it's hurt me so much when I heard Kirk Matzger, who's so smart, say a thing, he was like, and there was this thing, we was talking about DMT, it was a thing, but it wasn't like,

it wasn't like God, but it was like, the idea of God, and I was like, Round and show. You're good. You know, are you completely atheist? No, what's it now I'm more of the Aynastic. Yeah, I'm like I don't know Yeah, there's no idea so you believe you're more agnostic where you believe there could be a god I think there's I am in complete all an amazement of what people are in the functioning systems

They are and how we fucking I tell you complete all hey buddy I hate day that's the Lord He well what you're feeling right now is the Lord's kiss on this earth. It's pretty fucking amazing Society $20 dollar I'm gonna let you know there's a name into the room and I got steam address We're gonna everybody look at it back. Lou again. That wasn't race. You just looked at him called him a demon I looked at everybody I was doing a dramatic sweep J.

It's quite criticizing my Preach stuff. Everything about race. Please stop running everything down as well. Race is just it doesn't even exist to aliens You stop boiling everything on the right. We're the human race when the aliens come or the human race Alien if aliens are real and they're watching us they must think that race is very funny to be like There's different colors of each other. They make fun of it on Rick and Morty They go to other planets and they have like everybody looks the same, but they're all fighting over their tiny little differences. Yeah Yeah, Rick and Morty great great show That's what we used to have like Manhattan Beach locals versus her most of each local

Yeah, they're all fushing same thing thing we talked about it on the live show You don't think we're gonna get to it. There's a house party in Aurora my rival high school Eagle crest 150 kids fell through the floor It the floor below I'm collapsed. I'll fucking text the story Christine now. Should I text it to you Christine or DM it? I will DM it to text to you, Christine or DM it. I will DM it to the floor of a house party. Mm-hmm. Damn, that's fucking that's terrifying. Damn, that kid is never gonna live that. This is Grandparent House. Janky ass fucking shitty house. It was this Grandparent House and they got the

address got out on social media and everyone showed up. Nice house, Daruki. Yeah, you're fucking people. House fucking collapse. We're having a party now. I just sent it. It's a video. It's like a bunch of kids partying and then it fucking, one of the kids said you just hear the wood breaking

and then they all collapsed. Damn. And that nuts. Damn. How many people got hurt? Yeah. How many people got hurt? One. How many people got hurt? I think they're one person in the hospital.

Oh my god, this would never happen out of you for you party. No, dude, they would all be having sweaty sex perfectly. So much sex. There's 150 teens were partying when the floor gave way. There's video of it. Yeah, I believe somewhere. What's happening to my cousins? Your cousins house?

Now they were at a wedding and the wedding dance floor collapsed. They died. Go back up to the picture of the house, Christine. So it's exactly the problem with this. I think you'll back this up too, homeowners in here looking at you, Black Lou. New construction sometimes, man. Shotty. Yeah.

That's the problem. There's not... That floor is a couple of load-bearing things on the bottom. And basically, just like wood. Yeah, and it cracked in fucking they fell. That's it. It's just the video. There it is. Wood broke and it fucking...

Oh, man! Dude, wait, bring it back. That's hilarious. That's like, it's a wonderful life when the pool opens Yo being the kid whose grandparents house it was like also having to walk by him and if you're just okay from the fall and you got to go Sorry about your grandpa's floor man walk out. He's going cool That's fucked up one of the tiktoks said Back it up a little bit. That's fucking me. Fuck you. I take offense from that from being from there

POV we're just having a good time, but we were run we remember we're in Aurora Well fuck off. I hope you broke your fucking femur Damn dude, that's gotta be terrifying. I mean you're right though the embarrassment. Well the embarrassment. Here's the thing two people are super embarrassed. The kid throwing the party for sure is uncomfortable as all hell. For me, we would be looking around waiting for one person to be like guess Okerson was dancing. That's gonna fucking make me feel horrible about myself. That would hurt. Jacob thinks it's great. Shut up people. Jacob, think just great. Shut up, you people.

Jacob, don't laugh at me. Did I tell you guys one time? What, oh, what happened? It okers and start doing the kid and play routine again. Hey, jokes are gonna happen. Told you not to do the worm in the living room. Told you it was bound to happen. I was going to a fourth of July party one time,

and I was wearing a dress, and I never wore dresses back then. And I was walking up, and a guy hung off the balcony and said, there's a weight limit at this party. And I just turned around and walked away. And it was my friend's party and then they found out and then they kicked the guy out and made it like a whole thing.

And I came back to the party and everybody was consoling me about it. And I was like, I'm wearing a dress. Like I never wear, I just felt fat and address Oh, no, oh no you get embarrassed. Why don't you leave because then we lose 200 pounds a shit She laughing or crying I can never tell I just turned around walked away Mortify I just walked through here. I would have turned around and just looked at anybody in the world behind me and been like right There's a weight woman there. Yeah, Tubbs. What's up guys?

I'm just walking fill me up a cop I'll fucking be up there you guys better you guys got beer pong going guys better fucking party beat a fat Third what time I walked to do it's just I'm like it's just like like tall skinny guy I'd be like I walked to do a frat party one time with like my friend who said we could go and he was wrong and it was in college and like we walked into like the main area of the house you know there's like all these hot Arizona girls and frat boys and this fucking alpha just comes out of us who the fucker you to get the fuck out and I went what up? I did the look around and he goes I said get the fuck out What do you know here? And I was like I'm with him and my friend looked he's like Troy and he's like get the fuck in you're just like guessing frat niggas

Rob Bryson Bryson crazy Robby Moose Robbie. Moose. Moose or tank. Do it again. Do it. Oh, oh, voila. Big hat.

Big, big patty. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. I wanted to say to walk outside, you see the moon, it sucked so bad, I was like, as he's walking you out, he keep going too good. Grayson? Did he take her time?

Mill, Miller? I can't believe you went to, you seem more like you would have gone to the Northeast or something for college. In fact, you went to Arizona, it's just so bad. Well, the hottest girl had a condo made a stona. Hey, one of the hottest girls in my high school went there.

My friend's sister's friend. My friend's sister's friend who's like the hottest girl in my school went there and I was like, damn, girls like Jackie go to Arizona. And then I was sick of winter. I was sick of cold. And Arizona was like on par with University of Colorado as being a good school.

So I was like, look, Arizona will be warm, a fun, Arizona, and I hated it. It was hot, got robbed. I mean, that was later, but it was all frats. Didn't want to join a frat. Didn't have any money. All the girls wanted guys with money. All the rich kids from San Diego and Long Island

were dicks until you lived with a drug dealer than they were cool. I was never hated it. So I did radio. I did radio and stand up. I never had a, again, I started doing comedy in 19 too, which is a big thing. So like, but I never was in a world where I would have thought

I wanted to go to a flat party. I, but I've never been anywhere near the situation ever. Never been anywhere near it. It was, I had a different experience when I was in high school. My friends, my friend's Zach's brother went to a CU, and his sister went to CU. So we'd go up to the university hall. CU.

We'd go up to Colorado and go to their house parties, but their flat parties were like house parties. So it was like, it was almost like in the movies, with people hanging over the balconies, grass, there's like cups in the grass or whatever. It was very much like pay five bucks, you can get a keg cup, and then you just go in in and it wasn't like who you affiliated with like it was gang shit There's the party Arizona was much more pretentious. It was much more like who do you know?

You know this theta or the pikes you can't get and you're like I don't know anybody I don't know anybody and that's what was weird when I lived with a mirror yellow mirror was flipping fucking ounces And then he was getting invites to sell. Let's tell people we're in the skulls. Dude, that's what we should have done. We're in the skulls, he goes, skulls, what are your response? Yeah, the crew team.

And he goes, you know what? We're Arizona. We're in a landlocked team. He's like, yeah, well, whatever. It's fucking, what's crazy is what I'm on the crew. When McDaniel would come back to Aurora, when we'd all go back for Thanksgiving or Christmas,

McDaniel was at Yale. So we were like, what the fuck is that like? And he's like, I know the Connecticut. Yeah, he's like, I know the CEO of Snapple's daughter. And we were like, what? It was like shit like that. So I've never been on the campus ever of Yale, but I've been in the area of Yale.

And it really is just like, I feel like college, unless maybe there's some that are different, I guess, but like college seems to me the same way about like getting into new comedy clubs when you were a younger comic member, you'd get in, you're like, okay, I got you in this club, and then you work the club and you go, it's just four fucking walls. They can move this thing next door and it would just be there now. It doesn't matter, you know what I mean?

Like it doesn't really matter. And college, I know it's the education itself But you think when you walk on the a it's gonna be like a movie or something. I think you had that early on I remember freshman year like when I my mom dropped me off and I was there and I like walked Oh over to like the mall they call it the mall the U of A mall and I like looked at the buildings I was like this is pretty cool. It's like a college. It's a college college And it was like oh fuck am I gonna college here? But immediately hating the social life and starting to work at radio that college college. And it was like, oh, fuck, I'm gonna go to college here, but immediately hating the social life and starting to work at radio, that became my thing.

Where I was like, dude, I fucking, I'm in the KFMA studio. It's like that was huge for me. Yeah, KFMA day. Shout out KFMA day. Shout out, Foxhole. What was shout out? By the way, Big J.

Oakerson, tonight through Saturday to coma comedy club. Get tickets. Tonight, Friday and Saturday, I don't know foxell big J. Ockerson tonight through Saturday to coma comedy club get tickets Tonight Friday and Saturday to coma Washington after that He's got dates coming up in Houston San Francisco Fort Wayne Grand Rapids Detroit on Terry O California and DC For tickets and other tour dates visit big J comedy dot com Do in the butt out Soda, soda. Ow.

Dan Soder. Yeah. It's all over the road. But first, he's coming home. Colorado. Yeah, baby. What's up, Denver? Get your legal weed out and come warm up with a cold cup of Dan.

That beard is tightened up and ready for Colorado living. Yeah, dude, I'm ready. You better get a Patagonia jacket. I might, I might, I might treat myself and go to REI while I'm there. You might, dude. You might, that beer should have a, should have some REI equipment with it.

Uh-huh. He's gonna be at the comedy works tonight. Through Saturday, you know that, because you got tickets already, unless you're an asshole. Damn, I love this song so much. I was bumping this in the car last night. Yeah, yeah.

Christine said it gives her jitters. Dan's gonna be Hollywood, California after that. San Francisco, Rhode Island, all over the place. For tickets and all tour dates, go to dansoder.com. Of course, bonfire merch at the bonfiremerch.com. Go get a sweatshirt. A hoodie. Go get a tank top.

Go get, you know, other stuff. We should start putting stickers and shit up there you're right stickers and fucking and mugs and All the fun stuff ain't my type of hype Too much beanie stickers. Yeah, I like all three of those Jacob will be back in studio soon I mean we're almost back. You know, it's crazy last time our worth comedy works March 6 through 8, 2020. So I've been there in two years. It was the week before the pandemic. Really? So I was listening back to all my old sets. It's fucking crazy because I did not take care of it. It's been there a hundred times. Really? It's a pandemic.

I think three times I've done Denver. I don't know why they haven't rebooked me. Why did they hate me? They don't hate you at all, but I did the other room. South, one, South. No, I guess one was before pandemic, but pretty close to before pandemic though. Yeah. And then I went back during. During the pandemic.

Oh, is that South? That's what I had to do. Yes, when I had to do seven shows because yeah, they changed the the seating and you had to do like the fucking three on a Saturday. Oh, I think it was three Friday three Saturday. Oh, did I remember that? Well, now, no, I'm sorry. Two Thursday. Two Friday three Saturday. Yeah, it sucked. Well, it was this one from a back of since to the downtown. And I'm staying in the condo. Oh, it sucked well. It was this one From the back since to the downtown I'm staying in the condo. Oh boy. You're gonna make sand art. You're gonna make a little painting from that Go eat across like a diner. I'm gonna play either a diner across the street that's openly it was on done

Was closing way early when I was there last time caused a problem for me every night. Okay, I'm worried about that But I heard there's a good coffee shop next to the problem for me every night. Okay. I'm worried about that, but I heard there's a good coffee shop next to the condo and also a 7-11 right there. Head shop too. Fuck yes. Real good shop.

My mom's taking me out to lunch on Thursday. There's already, we went out to lunch and then went to a good shop. Well, it's my mother. That is your mom. But we're gonna go, oh wait, that's your mom. We're gonna go to the dispensary and I'm just gonna stock up for my weekend

And then just go I can hang out. It's gonna be so cool to be downtown. Are you standing by yourself the condo? Yeah, that's great Because I said then you could like jerk off loud I'm bringing my switch looking up to the TV walls do not go to the roof. I know there's space open Well, that's why I use Colorado Comics this time, because I knew I was going to stay, and I was like, you can stay at your own house. Yeah, stay at your place, Dickel.

I'm staying at the fucking real-world apartment. Anyway. But it'd also be cool because then I can hang after. Because the thing about staying with my mom and Aurora is I would want to get high, but I'd also have to get home. So I couldn't get too high, because I'd be driving and I don't want a fucking DUI. So now I can just go get stoned and walk down the street. We'll be back on Monday live

But until then I want you to know there's a witch in this room And I have your number and I have your address. I got your first and last name and Monday if you show up and you know who you are which I will send your ass out of here with a broom. Look at everywhere Look over your shoulder. Damn maybe look in the mirror once buddy. You have no idea look at me Maybe I'm not here Monday because I was you don't show up. We all know ball or move though Dude, I show it goes. It was me guys. I was a witch the whole time. What if he if he didn't show up the next week Yeah, just never yeah, it's it was Jay I fucking witch the whole time my god

Or the scenes like haven't seen him swordy God haven't seen him on our room is missing all artifacts of him ever existing They're gone. Yeah, also our window is open and the swiffer's gone I don't know He took a swiffer which I feel bad about we should have had a real a broom a wood handle broom would have been At least a swiffer's got a motor in it That's the only that's the closer you're gonna move more than a regular broom your broom You're just gonna fucking got what yeah dumb witch shit. God. I want to find more videos of that guy though. We love you guys For black Lou DJ white Lou white Jacob and whatever Christine is

It's the bonfire and we love you guys. We'll see you on Monday. What's most she? Enjoy your weekend. Love you on Monday. Wash your hands. Enjoy your weekend. Love you to come, a love you Denver. Love you! Let's do it! Let's do it! In the name of Jesus Christ, we break your spells,

we break your curse, we got your first name, we got your last name, we even got an address for one of you! You so much is come from, and I expose you in front of everybody on this tent. You stinkin' witch. You are sinned to this church to destroy us. You are sinned to this church to lure us in. You are sinned to this church to cast spell. Listen, some of you been sick because you befriended that witch. Two of you in my wife's ladies Bible study and you know who you are.

And we're gonna ask you to get out. Or I'll expose you in front of everybody. We got all six of their names. Oh, six. Two of them had already been confirmed for that thing every Saturday. First and last, this chick is new to our church and don't know none of you. So you got a choice.

You can leave with your spells. All by your spell. I'll show up next Sunday with a stage for the brooms. And I'll give you one and I'll fly your tail up out of this place in the name of Jesus But we ain't playing your spellcasting which crab nonsense sage burning games And your little dog do you're out which Out with... ...Hallelujah. Mornings and full shows always on Sirius XM.