The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Busty Fans & Stage Rat

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

Patriotic Bob loves Memorial Day so much that he researched who first created it. | At Bobby's gig in New Orleans he was greeted by busty fans and a rat that ran across the stage. | Kevin Hart defends his roast by taking both sides. Crack Amico continues to produce brilliant music and his track is all about Chelsea Handler and her hypocrisy. D.L. Hughley's producer is really good at A.I. images and the Bonfire crew is not. So Jay verbally makes his A.I. prompts with no visual. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Yeah, Bobby. Get after it, dude. It was awesome. Not to chew my own horn, but that was pretty good, dude. I could bring that to the club. I was letting you cook. I could bring that to the club.

55, baby, going on 56. I still got it. Oh, shit. You still got the good stuff. I'm out of breath, though. I think I hurt my knee. Oh, no. Momeniscus.

A sad injury. Hey, everyone. It's the bonfire. Faction Talk series XXM. 103. We're back. Hope you had a great Memorial Day. God bless the troops.

I'll say it. Nobody else will. Oh, yeah, God bless the troops. God bless the troops. You know the first people for Memorial Day? Do you know the history? Anybody? Yeah.

The blacks. What about the blacks? They made up Memorial Day when they came back from the war. They were like, hey, man, we want to celebrate. Wow. I would have to guess Hispanics if we're going to say a fiesta of some sort. Give them to the blacks, for sure. How are you like that?

Memorial Day was brought to us by the black people. Black people. Back check that, Christine? Black people. I saw the same TikTok. All right, whatever. Christine, you know what sucks about you? Wow.

Is your, you have no influencing ability. You should have been a lawyer, okay? Or a producer. Oh, wait. You did good, Christine. It is a TikTok. It is, I'm sure, is the same tick. But it looks like TikTok is correct.

Yeah. It was formed by, organized by formerly enslaved black Americans. That's right. 1865. That's right. They exhumed Union soldiers from a mass grave of the Confederate camp to give them a proper dignified barrel. So it was still kind of slave work, unfortunately.

Well, I mean, they had to do the get it. Yeah, yeah. You know, the time, we've changed. He goes, no, we're going to learn our lesson about after this part. Yeah. I'm not digging all these bodies up. I love Memorial Day. I love it.

I love it. I love when we shout out the troops. I love it. I love the troops, man. You're such a Memorial Day slut. I love it. I actually spent all weekend watching a, oh, God, an hour documentary on Teddy Roosevelt. You spent a whole weekend watching a one-hour documentary?

It wasn't one hour. It was not an hour. You just said that. No, it was hours. I'm sorry, hours. The Roosevelt's. Dude, one of the best presidents ever. What a cool president.

First rock star president, by the way. What does that mean? Like a shred? No, like, you know, Kennedy, Obama, they were kind of rock stars. like they just showed up to see him speak. He was the, he's the bully pulpit. He invented that, just going out in front of a crowd and standing on the table and talking. He actually named the White House, the White House.

Wasn't named the White House until that. Sounds racist. The executive house. He was a little racist. He did not stick up for the blacks that much, you know? Black guy, no good. Well, Jacob, I don't say it that way, like a baby racist. Black guy bullshit.

Oh, I mean, pee pee on the street. Black guy bullshit. Oh, Jacob. Oh, Jacob. It doesn't sound good. I don't like that at all. I was in New Orleans this weekend. Dude, I'm on stage.

I didn't even know it. I'm on stage at the Howling Wolf. Great time. Love New Orleans. It was a cool venue. Great venue. Both venues. Crescent Theater was amazing.

So your clips. And then I'm on stage. As soon as I come off. I mean, great crowd. A lot of Bonfire fans. There was one dude showed up. They had Melissa. and Hot Choppolopoulos shirts on.

Oh. Which was hilarious. I wonder how they chose to spell Chopolos. I know. No, it's Hey Melissa, not Hot Chopolos. Marshmally O's and Hey Melissa. Okay. Yeah.

Hot Choplopoulos. You're throwing a dart at that spelling. Who, God. I can spell it. Oh, his wife's up. H-O-P-A-L-O-L-S. Choppel-L-S. L-S.

L-S. There it is. It is now and forever. Hot Chopolopolis. Ch-O-P-A, Chapa, L-O-P-L-O-P-O-L-O-L-O-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Lis. Chop-A-L-Lapolus. Ha, Chappal-Lapolus. Yeah, I think I got it.

Dude, his wife was in the front row with the best cans I've ever seen. Oh. Oh, God, I... Ever. They were just my type of can. You know what I mean? The big, juicy, natural fatis. Blue veins.

Yeah, a couple on the inside. You know what I mean? but she did tan to get a, you know, most of them out. But, oh, God, did I. I just, I have, I have a hard time not just getting your hand, like the intrusive thoughts. You know what I mean? When you see a chick in a tank top, like a tube top, I can't be around him.

I got to walk away. Really? I just want to pull it down. That is intrusive thoughts. I would never even, no, I've never had an intrusive thought like that. Oh, I love the tube top to me is just begging for it. Never slapped a strange woman's ass or grabbed a woman's ass. Or waste or anything.

You don't know what you're... You're missing. Yeah. No. Because I need to get there to start harassing women more. Yeah, you do. They take it. They used to.

They're so well you just take it, it, it seems. No, if you go to my Instagram, they have her tities on it. It's so good. They're so juicy. But then I'm on stage at the Howl and Wolf. And as soon as I walk off, they're like, did you see it? I'm like, what? You didn't see it.

I'm like, what do you fuck you talking about? A rat. I guess like a two-foot rat ran That's called something else. Like a Nutria? No, it wasn't a newtria. It was just a big theater rat,

New Orleans Theater rat. It's in the story of rat. When I was running, when I was on stage, it just ran right behind me and everybody saw it and nobody said shit to me. Nobody said shit.

It ran, and it was like this big, like that big. And it just ran behind me and ran off stage right in the middle of my side. set and I'm up there going, Mushmilly holes. I, thank God,

if I would have saw it, I would have ended the show. Oh, you don't? Really? If you're on close to stage? It ran right behind me. I'll never stop thinking about it. Those are nice jugs, huh?

The pink purple dress here, pink dress? Yeah. Yeah, it was a big fat titty. I mean, front row, right? Those are big fat dug-dugs. Those are gnats, you think? I asked her. She's the natural tities, man.

You could tell. Yeah. You could tell that now. I mean, God, I like boobs, man. I gotta stop taking tea. Old statement. I'm edgy today, kid. I'm going on the edge.

You know what, dude? Fuck the world. I love tits. I love big boobs. Fuck the world, dude. Shows were all great. Shows were great. A lot of bonfire fans came out.

It was great. I made a bunch of gig posters for these shows. Just, you know, little 25. I was like, listen, take one, give what you want. I don't care. It's a nation base. I just, you do, give what you want. I don't, if you can't have no money, just grab it.

I'll sign it. I don't care. I don't need to, I don't need to gouge. I like that, though. I do too, man. That's what Dylan does with his stickers. Yeah. Didn't you tell me to do it?

Well, I may tell you that's what Dylan does. I don't know, yeah. Well, yeah, I just made gig posters for these venues. I had an artist do it. He really good artist I found who found me on the internet, and he's great, and it's cool. I like it. Do you make a limited amount or did you make a time? 25.

Just made 25. That's smart. That's it. 25 and sold out. Yeah, they're all gone. I guess you can't say sold out when you tell people that get to have them for free.

If you're going to only make 25, maybe sell them all for sure. If you're going to make like, you know, 400 prints. I actually had 15 left each night. Anyway, you want a poster? You can make it personally out to you, Jacob, if you'd like. Yeah.

Good weekend. No sex. No nothing. Does that usually... I'm on the cusp of cheating. Yeah? You're right there. Don't look at me, Christine.

You're like right there? Yeah, why don't you get somebody for me so we can keep a QT? Why don't you get one of your fucking weird friends from California that likes a little fucking, like commasutra shit? You probably know one of those weird yoga combos find the male G-spot dudes.

I think most of her old L.A. friends used to be sluts. Yeah, get one of your sluts to come over for the weekend. I don't know if there's sluts now. Let me just hang out. out and see what happens. You keep you trap shut. I'll go downstairs to Jay's studio. I think they reformed sluts. Forms. Reforms. Oh, reformed. Yeah. Nothing better than break one of those shaky

bitches. Oh, maybe. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Okay. I like it now. What got you on the cusp this weekend, those big, fat, huge tities? Because she had a guy with her. She did, and the guy's huge, and he's a really great guy. Both those guys are awesome, and they're fans of the show and fans of mine and I love you for coming out but you should have if you're a real fan you would have let me see one of those one one uh you know a real fan would let you suck on one of them while she jacks you off mm-hmm now we're talking now we're opening up and then I ask you this Bobby is that even cheating I don't know what's cheating I don't I suck in one jug while you get beat off with a with this grip

where her thumb and finger are bashing into your body not cheating that's more of a massage. Yeah. It's just keeping you straight on the road. Yeah. I think, you know, I'm going to start injecting don't want my testosterone. Why?

You want to start making out of someone with a mustache? Yeah. Trying to get some back hair on that girl. Well, anyways, they were really, really cool. Both venues were cool. Fan showed up. I had a blast. Except for that rat.

The rat fucked me up. I just don't like that they didn't, someone didn't scream. I guess they're used to it. Oh, she's a rat. But it was, dude, it's this big. It's not even a mouse. It's a...

There it is right there. And they actually have a video of it. They put it up. I went out to eat only in one place in New Orleans. With, like, the Bert's crew people to get the... That's where I tried the gator. That was really good. In that restaurant, like a rat ran straight through it on the floor.

And if I was... alone, that would have been it. I'd have left immediately. Food order and everything, I just immediately would have left. You would have left. Everybody else wanted this day. I went to Gumbo. I went for Gumbo.

And, yeah, there's a rat right there. Look at it. Now, if you... Oh, geez. Look at that thing, dude. It's flying, too. It runs right along the bottom. It's right there.

And if you do a perspective to the chair, it's this big. It's massive. Oh, I see it moving, yeah. Oh, God. That's disgusting. We're at the, I wanted to get gumbo, right? Because when I first went to New Orleans, I got gumbo, I went down to whatever that street is. Did you bring some back for the rat?

But I was like, I want gumbo. Because I kind of trashed New Orleans a long time ago when I went to the, because it was like seafood. I don't know, it was just watery gumbo. I didn't like it. Then I went back with Nick DePaolo, you know, Mark Norman. You know, you got to try it again. It has the best food in the world. You know, it was all like Boston with a bunch of, you know, racist, fucking Irish.

people ham you guys you know whatever he said 35 seconds of uninterrupted mark normand 34 35 um so um i'm in i'm in the restaurant he's going to take you to the best gumbo and so we walk to this place we go there shitty old been there for you know you know vampire listat dive stirs you know fucked a young man in there once that type of thing wait a second does bobby now have the throat gurgles do you have the jacob throat gurgles do you Have you have the Jacob Throat gurgles? No. No.

Microphone, maybe. So, it might have been a gurgle. I gurgle once in a while. I've been known to gurgle. Are you hearing that? I am hearing that. That's not me. It's coming from your microphone.

It's from the mic, not from my... It's from the mic. It's not me. It's not me. Weird. Yeah, it's not me. Oh, great news. Bobby's mic now has a permanent ripple.

Thank you, Sirius X-M. Dude, a fucking cockroach came out, but not the big ones. like the water bugs, which I'm more fine with, I guess. It's the little ones. The little ones are the ones that bother me. That means there's an infestation. Yeah, which means it's in the food.

And then you eat gumbo, which you don't know what the fuck's in gumbo. The word gumbo means I don't fucking know, I think. I think that's French, right? I don't what the fuck know what's in here. Bobby? But gurgles killing me now. Anybody who's listening live, call into the show right now and tell us if you hear that gurgle going out live over the air.

If it is, serious things should be fucking ashamed of themselves. And fix the microphones. That makes me sound like a dog holiday. Yeah. It sounds like you have like a fucking, it sounds like we're all like sitting here like fat breathing. We are. We're not gurgling. That too.

Let me try something. Is it his mic? Try this mic. I'm afraid I'm. It's the processing on the microphones. Good, good, good. Okay. Just opened up.

All right. Wow. Is the gurgle there anymore? The gurgle is not here. Do I possibly have a better setup in my home? Yes. Than satellite series XM? 100%.

Yeah. What the fuck? You do. It's working. It's working now. Oh. Yeah. We blast that high frequency through there, reset the whole thing.

Fantastic. Fantastic, that. I was in Austin all weekend. It looked like I was following you. I follow you. I follow you on Instagram. I don't post anything on Instagram. Well, there was a couple photos from the club.

And you looked like you're having a blast? Yeah, no, it was nice. Guy takes great photos, too, man. Troy. Oh, my God. There was a photo you being cute on the wall. I wish you did that for our photo shoot. Troy.

I wish you opened up for the Series X-M photo shoot. I didn't have a fucking fog machine behind me and music and dim lighting. We had three people who I thought were on-air talent that were taking our pictures. I didn't really do the photographers here. I was like, why is this other radio hosts taking our picture? Oh, okay. That's an in-house photographer, no clue. And in a bright white-lit room.

Yeah. No energy whatsoever. Well, Christine, make a note. Fog machine, Barack and Morrow music next time. Next contract, we're taking new photos. And we have to because we're all thin. Yeah. He shows up Troy and his deal starts the hallway, starts getting red lighting to it.

It's all this cool stuff. It's awesome. So, yeah. You look great. It is easier to do that. But yeah, he does do great pictures, Troy. So good. But it's a lot being down there, man.

It's like a lot. There's also the whole gas digital crew is down there. For the half-hour tapings over the creek in the cave. Right. That hair went great. But that was going, so everyone was out there from that. And then it's just Austin, so DeRosa, you know, Tone, everybody. We have friends there, all of those.

So it's the butterlies now and stuff. So it's just like, it's a lot to be down there, yeah. Yeah, it's a lot. I had the Irish could buy every night. I love that. I had the Irish could buy at some point from some place. You just leave?

I go, I got a shit. Anytime I saw I have to shit, I'm going back to my room. Oh, yeah. Well, it was funny. We went to, like, I guess, like a place that they all go to down there. And I don't want to shout out the place

I don't know if I'm supposed to do that. Mickey's? No. It's just like some place. It's definitely, it's so not my scene at all. When you walk through, it's like a full on nightclub. Like bubbles and, and girls with their asses out and dancing on, like, it's not a strip club,

but dancing up on little stages. Yeah. Everything's bright purple, you know, or black light purple, and the bottle service and the bottle service and then everyone hangs out in the back bar. Oh, that's what Tony's joint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have, De Rosa. You went?

No, I was talking to De Rosa and he says that he goes to this bar and there's a back room, and Tony goes back there and everybody with Tony and they kind of hang out and get VIP. Because the owner's everybody's friends. Right, yeah, the owner knows. I can't remember his name, but I know that everyone keeps telling me he's a billionaire. It's a lot of money. And then he came over in a Kith sweater vest, New York Yankees logo on it, with like a very, like, you know, pretty young haircut also.

And I'll say also as myself, similar haircut, I'd say. But he was just like, and, you know, everything was just like, nice. I don't even know if he's Russian or what, but it was so loud. And the energy was so that. He was like, he brings over, like, girls in, like little cocktail dresses and stuff to be like, ladies, these are the, these are the guys or whatever. And they're like, hi, hi, hi. And then that night, that happened about 15 minutes in the being there.

And then as soon as those two go, that's the, that's the perfect fucking Lewis distraction. I right away, I was like, hi, hi, hi, nice to meet you. And then Louis was like, ladies, blah, blah, blah. I was like, what? Bip, beep, beep, beep. Fucking dipped right out. I hate that they try to make Austin Prague. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, that's really what it felt like. Let's make a club like John Wick. Pick one of these lovelies. Yeah, fucking stupid. It's just not my scene, but they're having fun there. I know. I remember the Laugh Factory next to Laugh Factory, the club next door to Laugh Factory? It was like a VIP club.

Yeah, yeah. And then I went in there one night. Dane was going in. and he's like, I got to head in here for a minute and he fucking left me. I'm out front and the guy was like, whoa, whoa, stop me in front of the line. And I was like, no, I had to go, I'm with Dane. Dinkook says it's okay.

Sure he does. You okay. You know Dane Cook. All right. And I went in and it was all that shit and the little twins were there, the little fucking from full house. But as women, as fashionistas.

Oh. Jessica Simpson was there. It was like, as soon as I walk in, I'm like, I'm so uncomfortable. I don't fit. Yeah, no, I didn't fit in this place at all. I, uh, actually, I think I may have done this. I think I did. I think I filmed, I don't even think I went back to look at this.

I think I filmed my walk out of this place, just like phone against my chest. You fluenced? I think I flounced for you. Wow. So I wanted to show you how much this is not my world. It's possible. This is great. You probably didn't.

Why would you say that? Because you panic when you start to fluence. You had the instinct to fluence and then you panicked. You're being crazy. I hope you did, man. I'm on your side, kid. So you're sorry because I influenced. I'm sorry that you fluenced, man.

I'm very proud of you, kid. I flounced hard. I flounced so much. All right, hang on. I'm going to send it to Christine. And she can put it up on the thing. Christine's wearing a fucking thin disco belt and I'm liking it. I like you a little Danny Terrio disco belt.

Oh, Christine's all skinny mini, huh? Well, look at that little disco belt. Look at that little thin thing. Work it, girl. I've always wanted to wear one of those. You didn't see it. You can wear a teeny little belt. I can't, you wouldn't see it.

I have to wear my fucking elastic belt. You want to wear a teeny little belt? I like that internal, you want to dress like John Claude Van Damme in the 80s movies. You want to wear a very high pant. I want to dress like John Claude Van Dam in the 80 movies again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's the way I dream. I wish I had pictures.

I wish cameras were around when I got out of rehab. Buddy. Cabriaches. I had pleaded pants, suspenders, wife beater, jacket with the fucking shoulder pads. With cabareesies are clas. Dude, I used to go to AA dances looking like fucking Jim Carrey from the mask. Yeah, dude. And nobody told me any, nobody said, what are you doing?

Everybody was dressed like that. Did you get it, Christine? Yeah, I got to upload it You got to see this place It's just so like I mean now In fairness the place where the comedians hang out It's not like that

It's a bar but it's loud It's in the back But it's fucking loud I hate loud It's so loud And it was just like I was talking to Tom and Lewis Most of the time

Tom Cigura? No Tom Tom Tom Big Tall Tom Oh cartoon hair Tom Yeah Bob's Burger Tom Bob's Burger's Tom

But I was talking to And even that, it's like everything you say, you have to be prepared for them. The first time you say it, just let everybody know you have something you'd like to convey. Then they're going to have to do a very awkward mouth almost like putting their ear on your mouth so they can kind of hear what you say. And then they're going to answer something different than what you said. So then you're going to have to bring them in again and now cup your hand over their ear to make sure they get that time. And then it's, unfortunately, all that effort you've just spent for the answer to something to be like, sure. That's just living hell

It's not I hate it It's not more than If you're not going to be there I guess the only reason to be there is to dance Then if you're not there You can't communicate with anyone You're there to be seen You're there to be seen

You're there to be VIP Oh this is great Take a peek in my walk out Oh this is nice Oh God I hate it Get the lights for a second Oh God See the top one top one

Yeah Go see you see it Oh my God God. You're proud of me, Bobby? I am so proud. Look at this. This is great.

You can see it's against my chest. Look at that group of dummies. They're so hot. Everyone looks exactly the same. Yeah. They're all wearing white. They're little white dresses. It's all a bunch of dumpy bitches.

No, I think it's a lot of beautiful chick. They were all there for some DJ or something. That gaggle of bitches wasn't hot. The one you showed. I think there's some girl on the way out that she's just like, I think her full ass is. That guy dancing, though. That's where I dance. Feet together and just bend the knees.

He's feeling it. There's something, something. Boop and bopping, beeping, boop and boop and. Oh, that's a guy recognizing me. Okay. That was nice. That's why I stopped for a second. Nice bicep.

And I got to hide from that guy that I'm filming while he's telling me that there's a naked ass girl. Oh, this is annoying. Is this the back room? No, no. This is me leaving. You're out. I film my Irish goodbye. You should do it.

Because I filmed my Irish goodbye because I filmed my Irish goodbye because I'm I wanted to, if, like, Lewis or everybody started texting it a little bit, like, dude, come on, why did you leave? I would just send that video. I was like, oh, because you know who I am and this is unacceptable for me? You, dude, we're not made for that shit. We like to talk. We like to philosophize. We like to smoke, make each other laugh.

In that environment, you have to just sit and look cool and nod your head every once in a while while while somebody's talking to you. Oh, wait a second. I saw a video of this. I didn't see it. Is it interesting? Kevin Hart responding to critics on that Breakfast Club interview. Is it interesting?

Yeah, he was, I mean, he was, he was defending. He seems to have defended all of it, yeah. Yeah, he was defending it, but also, he was basically going, look, I didn't say it. So why am I getting shit? You know what I mean? It's fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. He was like, look.

Well, I mean, it's his thing. He produced it, so they're like you. Yeah, but he produced it. It's his name. but they just they used his name to get people to watch it. Of course. He doesn't know what people are going to say. No, I don't think he really should hold some responsibility for people said.

But they know what he's basically saying, I know, you know what Tony's going to do. That's what he does. I know. And he's saying it's a... The breakfast club, though, he probably mentions me. His old friend J. did pretty good. Oh, yeah, dude. He went through the list of the people who killed it, actually.

He did give a list of how proud he was of Naim. No, he goes through a list of people that had the best sets of the night. I think that night actually It didn't at the end of the roast Didn't he give like Naeem like man I'm so proud of you dude watching you like do this thing I think that's on the thing he said that maybe Yeah?

Proud you for doing what you're supposed to do We'll see if if you know I don't know I think he might have mentioned you Okay This is eight minutes long is there Should I go in the middle or? Maybe we shouldn't watch this I'll tell you what I'm glad that I

I'm glad that I talk to Kiv For that one second after the thing Or else there would be If there was no footage of him ever actually even acknowledging me at all when I was there. No, he goes through everybody that killed it. Yeah. They actually says Tony had the set of the night.

Yeah? Arguably. Through that and there. Go out play it. Okay. I want to hear it. What's wrong? Nothing.

I think what he was trying to do is play both. You know, he's trying to play both sides. He's trying to say something to us and then to him. Sure. I think that's because he does a lot of that. I call it flim-flamming. a little flam-flam. Could be this.

Could be that. Yeah, exactly. A little part of me loved it, a little bit of me hated it. Yeah, he does a little bit of that. Some cold? Right when he says something, you're like, oh, good.

And then he goes, but, you know, I didn't expect that either. And the other people are like, oh, good, he said that. He's getting both sides. Go on, go on. Do we have, like, bullet points for it at all? because it's just a little long.

I don't want to have to play for eight minutes. I think right after we can go forward, but right after he said your name, you had one of the great sets, too. And then he... Oh, I'm slow on the draw. What? I didn't get why you were making the joke of saying,

like, let's not play it. Maybe we shouldn't play this? Because he's not going to say, oh, that's... Who gives her shit? Nah. You got a cabin again. Listen.

It's kind of your thing. It doesn't matter. Whatever I was going to get from that, I got from it. No, he goes on, but he's basically... Basically, then he goes into defending him. It's like, why you, why are you coming at me? This is what this is.

Yeah. If you don't like this stuff, don't watch it. But they're going to, the argument they're making is that because he produces, so you had to sign off these people, but he did sign off him. He said he's playing a little bit of both sides for sure, but I mean, Kiv's unapologetic for stuff like that. I know he is. No, he said, look, I called, I called this one guy.

I don't know who he is. Some, I don't know, like a black leader or maybe. I don't know who he is. but I called him and I said, am I good? He said, yeah, you're good, man. He had to call a black leader to check if he's good. Something.

I don't know. Don't quote me on that. It sounded like a black leader. I called a black leader and asked him if I'm doing okay. And he said, brother, you doing better than okay. You're doing just fine. I liked it. I thought Big Jay was the best, by the way.

Did I mention my friend Jay did pretty good? Well, it's funny to me that they, They're, you know, I guess, you know, they're making, they're really mad about this, this Floyd thing, which I, okay, you can get mad at it. His family was mad. Sure. But he started talking about the brother was mad at Kevin, because Kevin actually went to the funeral. Kevin met the brother. He was kind of involved.

Kevin did the George Floyd's funeral? Yeah, he did a, he did the roast of the cops. They roast of the cops. That was part of the sentence. Why did he have to go to George Floyd's funeral? He went to show support for the family, I guess, and he said the brother's mad. And he was like, you shouldn't be mad at me.

He should be mad at Tony. Tony made the joke. I didn't make the joke. Be mad to fucking Minneapolis cops. Literally. Why is that trickling down to me at all? But what's weird is nobody, like Charlie Kirk got assassinated in front of his family.

People got upset about that joke, too, but they moved on from that one faster. But if you draw a line, there and then you draw a line at Charlie Kirk and we're just going to all be Ryan Hamilton. Yeah, well you shouldn't draw any lines. I don't mind because I love Ryan Hamilton. That was a good strike. I was a good dig. Yeah. Have I taken another

replay? Oh, why? No, but you're all right. It's all one kind of thing then too. Yeah. You know what I mean? But yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure like the kickback on it. I said, I think it's all good, honestly. I think Kev probably at the end of the day, puts his head on his bed like they're still talking about it at all. It's great.

So great. How it's doing it. years ago. He's like, yeah, I want you to hate watch me. Hate listen to me. Because that means more people are going to listen to me, you dumb-dums. They don't get it. Trump does the same thing. He says all the stupid stuff and more people tune into his fucking crazy poor shit when he says something wild and they watch it. I wonder if Howard Sturtt acknowledged me at all. It'd be so funny because I don't know if he talked about the roast yet, Howard. If he has it. Did he? Yeah, he said you did. No, he didn't probably. But you heard about it already?

Yeah, he didn't say your name. I would say it's so fucking hilarious again. It's just like never gets mentioned. Did he mention Naim? Certainly not. He'd be great. He goes, he goes, now I'll tell you who did good, Naim. We got to get that guy on here.

Well, there was. I think the expectations of him probably were lower than you. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, yeah. And the fact that he went out and pulled it off as one of the, you know, so he's in his circle. But I think, if you're asking me who's,

did the best, I would say you were probably one of the best. And I'm not saying that because I know you. I'm saying that because you did the roast. I'm saying because you're staring right across from me. I'm not doing it because I know you. I don't know because you're standing right here. I'm not saying that because you promised to get me a brand new Weber grill.

No, you did the roast, I think, the way it would be done. You wrote it yourself. It's personal between you and him. You were edgy, but not too crazy. And it was all funny. You were you. And like all the Chelsea Handler doesn't even, why is she on the roast? If you don't like these mean jokes, why the, oh, I know why, because they paid you a lot of money and you're going to be on TV.

She's doing the same thing D.L. Healy's doing. It's like you're going to the mountain top to fucking scream the, you know, to scream down like how people should behave and what you think is right. Hey, everyone listen to what I think is wrong and stuff like that when it's like, you have a history. you have a long career history you know long career history of doing stuff that you like you you think you remember all of it well enough to make sure you don't like anything you say

is not going to sound hypocritical and no they never never do that so Chelsea Hiller's getting just browbeaten now with all of them you probably stays away from all of it um she probably is when I feel like she's wrong at all but like she's they're just going to show a fucking whole bunch of things she said

about uh you know like any racial joke she's ever made or something on Chelsea. She's got a whole wealth of Chelsea lately's and all the stuff that she's going to have to now do that dumb thing that all these dumb bitches do when they do this. They have to go individually each time it comes up and goes, I did say, I want to apologize to the people that were hurt by that and that I've taken it as a growing experience and I've already changed and I hate that this even exists, but the internet is the internet

and I know and I'm going to do my best to do better. Just that kind of dumb shit for everyone that comes out. Each individual thing comes out, you're going to do that all over again. What about, well, that's, okay, that's for black people. What about when you made fun of us? You said something about retards or something. I've grown a lot since then, and I've known from going to certain hospitals and seeing people who are afflicted by this. Some of them, such smart people, but they're just this.

So I feel, you know, each time, it's going to be fucking ridiculous. Yeah, it's so funny, too, that people are, like, you can't say this about these people, but then you can make fun of fat people all you want. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is fun, making fun of fat people. You know what I mean? I do like it. Fat people falling is one of my favorite Google or YouTube lookups.

Yeah, but it's like fat people are for some, but they're next. You don't think fat people are going to rise up next once, hey, no more fat. We're a bunch of fat ham-eaten assholes. They do have that already. That's existed already. Yeah, but they're too fat. They can't make it out. They only can protest like once.

Body positivity failed miserably. It was one of the fastest things to die out. Yeah, because fucking. Someone's fatness, though, can be affecting to other people in a lot of ways, though. Someone's fatness can really, like, if you're fat and you're in a middle seat, you should punishment should be you're not allowed to fly. You know what I mean? You can't fly like that, too.

You should have, you got to. And they did eventually, and it became, like, the meanest thing in the world. Like, you're going to have to buy two seats. And they're like, that's so mean. It's necessary. Or they should be able to wrap you in, like, some saran wrap to tighten you up. Right. Or we should be, or...

Like a projole. Yeah, I like that. Maybe you have throw them in cargo? Yeah, like some type of, you know, like the compression suits, they have to put you in a compression suit and seal it up with a vacuum for the flight. I, in my life, you think you just said you did use it before, right? The extender, the seatbelt extender, I couldn't like, I mean, like, I would have,

and by the way, every seatbelt, to this day, so every seatbelt in every plane for some reason is different. Some of them are just kind of like tighter belts. Some of them have tons of slack that are ridiculous. The older plane's a smaller seatbelt. If you're on an old plane, because the seatbelt's small, it's because it's an old plane. All the new ones, all the new ones adjusted to Fat America.

Probably good. But man, I would be on those old ones, and I'm telling you, man, I would have it going across. I'd rather have that belt digging into my leg than I would ask for that extent there. You were on the Mad Men plane. You're on a Pan Am flight. K-W.A.

I put on my cigarette. cigarette for this yeah dude I I learned to use my stomach to hold the seatbelt when I was really fat because I couldn't oh yeah I know what you mean so I flop it over it I would pull it with one hand under my stomach let my stomach hold it and then use the other two hands to click it you know what I mean yeah or you take them both so you take both sides and you just get them as far as they can and you just drop your belly over it because they were never gonna see if it's connected or anything anyway you just want to see that they see seatbelt

coming out of either side of your gut as long as they're seatbelt emerging from the sides of your belly they're like, he must be wearing. Oh, for years. Now, it wasn't, I said, I luckily never got to a size where I couldn't click the belt.

But I did. I got to a size. No, but I mean, forever I was a size where I was always like open the... It's interesting now because, like, I still instinctually, before I sit down the thing, I grabbed the buckle. It's part of my movement.

I grab the buckle and just open it like to the, the furthest end of the thing. And then when I do put it on, if I put it, I still don't put them on a lot because I think it's a ridiculous concept anyway. But when I put them on, I can like crank it now for sure. But they make them bigger now too. So it wouldn't have always been like that. But it does. Yeah, but I extend they're asking somebody to come a beautiful flight attendant to show up with a thing. It goes, you're you disgusting animal.

I also, I carried it out in front of me. I carried out in front of me so people would follow the trail to you. And they hang you the extender with two bags of chips. You're going to need these, aren't you? Hey, in case you feel like you're not filling this thing out enough, I got you two extra bags of chips. I stole an extender from United because I was flying United all the time. And then when I switched to Delta, I still had my United,

but it was a gray, it was a gray extender, and I believe Delta's blue. So you could tell old fat tits had an extender because it went blue to gray. Dude Dude one time I was on a flight bro And I had my

I took everything I had to put that seatbelt on And I was in first class And the lady came over And she's like Sir you need to put your seatbelt on I go it's on And she goes Sir I need to see it

And I went You can't Because my stomach was over it I go you can't trust me That it's on And I'm trying to whisper She's like I need to see that it's on sir

I'm like I was And like everybody's looking at me in first class and I had to pick my stomach up and show her the buckle. And I went are you happy? Does that make you feel good? And she goes, thank you sir. And I go, you have fat too.

Because she was a fatso. Fat shit. It's to make me feel bad. Yeah. Patryce used used to get two seats. That fucking fatto. Did he? That's the move. I said at one point they started make you almost doing that, I think, if you were too big. People would get mad at the companies for that. Was it? Didn't

South West? South West. Didn't Kevin Smith? have that very same thing. Yeah, Southwest did it. I think it was Southwest. Yeah, they made them by an actressie. I never conceived of the stuff you went through. Yeah, because you could sit on the pilot's lap.

You're so little. Yeah. Yeah, dude. If your hair wasn't great, they would still give you little pilot wings when you leave. Hey, look who's a little junior pilot, huh? I bet you still ask for him. Oh, when you get a Jacob sitting next to you,

how great does that feel? It's nice. you get a nice little, little thin Jacob, cleansed out. I had on the way home. My day, Sunday, or Monday, Memorial Day, was one of those days where it was all going, like, just wrong on everything. Like, you forget something 65 times as you're leaving, you've got to go back in,

you drop a thing, you go, just a lot of that. And it continued throughout the entire day, but that day started me getting on the plane. Cool black dude sitting next to me. Very cool looking. young um and he was just like on his like iphone or his iPad watch it and before we took off they do you know they come around and they'll give you

like the you want a glass of water orange juice usually in the morning and thank god he took a water because at one point just like I turned around I was as I'm saying no thank you to the thing I just am holding my phone and the phone just falls out of my hand and clunks and spills his water all over his fucking green Valenciauga sweatpants or something I was like fuck he was cool right away we didn't talk about it. I apologize and we never really spoke words again but he was fine with it I guess but like

it was I mean I was apologetic right out of the gates I was like oh dude I'm so fucking sorry there's nothing worse than when you're fat and you drop something on a plane it's just like you just gotta go I'll get it when everybody leaves the plane

yeah everyone's got a de-board I don't anybody walking by my ass crack being out when I'm bending over to find a fucking air pod yeah I have my air pod drop Oh, it was so bad. Buddy, I couldn't get it. It was under the seat in front of me. For me to get that, I would have to hold my breath and then go down.

I would have, what, 15 seconds to find it? We were on the road with me, him, and Ari, and he dropped a pencil, and he bent over to get it. And when he came up, his face was a different kind of purple that I had ever seen. I think he died on the way up, and then when life got back into him, like, it was looking you choke somebody and they almost pass out. And then the air hits him and they go, and there was a bite out of the pencil. This guy can't stop himself. He was in a bad place.

He's fixed now. He's fixed now. But that's where you're fucking going with all this shit. You're not going to be able to make fun of anything. And it's like, it makes me mad because it's like, Chelsea, even D.L. You got to make fun of everything your whole career. There was no limits on anything. And now that you're older and you have some type, I don't know,

whatever. I get that people evolve. I get people going to different stages of life. But now you're out there saying that you shouldn't make fun of that or you shouldn't say this. That was too far. As a comedian, you should shut your face. If someone's trying to be funny, if the people laugh, it's fucking funny. It's it. Well, you don't see these people policing, like the comedy as it's coming. It's got to be something that gets, like, successful. And then it makes them question themselves in some way, and then they start taking shots at it.

It doesn't make any sense. They have one of the couple people. There's a couple of comics that I mean, without even names, I like some of these people, but it was like they came, they got all their success and fans doing a certain kind of thing, like an edgy thing when that was kind of against the grain. And then they got a lot of money,

and then an article comes out or something comes out where they go, like, upon further reflection, I do see that, yeah, I really should probably change things up and not really say these things or make these kind of jokes anymore. And you're like, I'm always like, give the money back. You're not going to give that money back. You're going to change your mind once you've already gotten like the reap the benefits of it. Yeah.

So that's kind of like that never really means anything to me when I see that stuff. But all the, yeah, the Chelsea things that mind blow. That, I mean, some genius made that clip. We'll play the clip that we had total bitch made. or not had total bitch just made, which was great, because I'm bad at, like, watching things down. What's his name in a song, too?

It was pretty good. Crackamico. Crackamico. You saw the song? Yeah, I thought that was fantastic. He's amazing. He's really good. He really is quick, too, fast.

Do you want to play? We can play the song real quick. Yeah. We didn't play it on Skanks. So we can give it a bonfire, Bronfire World Premiere. Craig Amico rules, but he's going at a Chelsea.

I don't know if there's that video, show the things that's what's been killing me on those reels or every call that I see the little clips on YouTube is when she's like all they had was that I'm old and a whore and then just keeps going back to Shane saying anything but that she's like she's a Zionist and Chelsea who had dinner with Jeffrey Epstein

just calling me a whore that's it he's like well no no wasn't it yeah yeah yeah we get some volume on that. Am I doing that or is it? No, it's on purpose. You never heard it?

Never heard it? This is a golden retriever dancing. Did you actually go back a little bit? A couple of things he did in this song so far. It's not much longer to the song I don't want to say, that I didn't catch until I just saw it now that someone told me about. I remember when he does the D-L-Huley stuff, everything's D-L. Did you notice that?

All the wording is D-L words, and he highlights something. I go back to that. It's pretty crazy. So good. And then also, he did the one that you kind of have to see the visual for, I guess. He said, something with you and the fresh prince. What's the first line? He goes, Uncle Phil.

Yeah, it was like Phil. But he had somebody on Uncle Phil's face, but I forget what? He goes, it was Uncle Phil? And he goes, you're hanging out with the fresh prince, and it was Prince Andrew. And he goes, while Jeffrey's serving you dinner. Like, it's all Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The Butler's name was Jeffrey. And he put a picture of Jeffrey Epstein.

So good. He's really good. Wow. Tony actually always Tony actually responded yesterday too he just came up with

on kill Tony on kill Tony yeah yeah yeah he responded to which is fine I mean he is so good and Shane I think Shane's response

was rough I mean that kid cost a nail on the coffee one that was great he could have done he even had the thing at the end

about where he says the football for people don't know he said yeah what is the exact quote it's like I'm very yeah what is I say here

He responded. This is a big moment for Chelsea. I'm glad she's capitalizing. Good for her. We're all rooting for her. Anyway, come see me July 17th, the football stadium in Philly. Which is a great flex. It was so funny.

It was so implied. I almost think he didn't even use this because a couple of them I saw it didn't have that part. And I was like, it was a death blow before he even said that he's going to be, they remind everybody's going to be in the football field. That's crazy. Because we're all rooting for her. We're all rooting for anyways. This kid is fucking got it.

He's the best. I mean, God. Damn, that was a killer line. Yeah, that's a death blow right there. He doesn't have to say another word. Chelsea can keep going on and on, whatever, and that's over. He put that one dead in the water. God damn, that was a good one.

That was great, yeah. I mean, she has to admire that one. No. Even the person that got it. I don't know what the thing. Like, you know, the hypocrisy, I mean, it goes so far. No, I thought you said that total bitch did something about Chelsea. No.

Okay, never mind. No, that's Total Bitch is right there, the one he... Gotcha. No, Total Bitch said the... serving the D.L. Hewley stuff. That we should... Wait, or we come back from a break. Yeah.

Come back with it, because it's pretty good. D. O'Hulie talked about our last time we talked about him over here, about implying that I'm a Nazi with his pictures and stuff. But he responded, no real apology. He acknowledged that... He kicked it down the curb to his producer. His producer said that his producer did it. And, uh, or his producer said that he did it, that he put it in there.

So he admitted that. There was no real, like, any kind of like, uh, apology or anything, which is fine. And then, uh, they had a writing session, I guess, to make, like, fat little dick jokes about me, which is, I'm fine with that. I like that. I said, it's great. He made me laugh at a couple of them all down. I think, I think we should go over him. And actually, I'm going to, I'm going to do them at my pussycat set tonight.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do all of DL's fat jokes. A couple of them got me. A couple of them got me, too. Good, done better. I think it said four. I don't think it's a strong suit is like doing the dozens, as they say. But like, because they sound like Roseanne Barr was pretty funny.

But here's the thing. There was eight jokes total. I wrote them all down. Lou has them. There's all of them? There's only eight? He has all of them. There was a couple good faties in there.

And then they had the, they definitely had a meeting. because he had AI pictures to go with everything Right Like that immediately came up Well they put older pictures of me being like The fat that they wanted for the Jokes they were doing

Yeah They would have had to go back And then the argument would be like Well you're going back Yeah I mean You're not even pulling this concurrently So they made AI pictures Which were way fatter than you've ever been too

By the way Nobody here Like I said does AI pictures At all No We want them to I wanted them to So all I could do is

you guys what I would do in the pictures. And I said, apparently this is like he's got a person on his crew that's like leading him in a bad direction to like with bad information. He's basically setting D.L. He'll be up to be in this thing, apparently. Yeah. Which is, which is fine. But I mean, he's in it now. And like, you know, he's trying to save face with like the fat jokes and little dick jokes, which is fine.

I never had a straight black guy talking about my dick that much. But I'll take it. But I will say this. Call me racist all you want. I assume D.O. Hulie has a really nice dick. That's great of you, man. I like it. Call that racism.

That'd be hilarious if he didn't. But the AI pictures. We don't know how to do AI pictures here, so I could just tell you what I would have in the thing. So what I'm saying, like, D.L. Hulie's being, like, manipulated and told what to do, basically, and led in a bad place by a thing. I would maybe do the,

producer wearing like a like a KFC colonel outfit and then Dio Healy like in overalls maybe holding a corn cob like doof like with a doofs like with a doofs teeth like whatever you say sir Instead of a Django hat maybe a straw hat

Yeah like a straw hat I'm thinking yeah Like a real like just old like You're letting this this white boy bully you around tell you what to do So yeah but no one nears had to do AI right No Okay so I just got to go with my description Yeah, you know, do AI.

There's no AI over there, Black Lou? No. You got the prompts if you do. Christine, you run a festival. Do you how to do AI? No, we hire people. Okay, I'm just going to have to keep describing these things in graphic detail. Yeah.

Because I don't know how to do AI. No, nobody. He has a team. I mean, his AI was really good. Yeah. I don't know if that producer's leaving in a bad path or not for sure, but I will tell you this. Guys good at AI. He's good at laughing, fake laughing.

They might have been real laughing. They were having a good, trash and mesash on the fast stuff, which I get it too. I went at D.L. Huli, so I get, like, he says that he gets, that I would be upset, that, uh, that I would be upset if I was called a Nazi, whatever like that, I, it's missing the point. I'm not upset by the fact that you call me. It's a moronic thing to say, and you're just trying to say racist, but you're too dumb to realize that you're saying Nazis is a whole different connotation.

So, but racist doesn't hit any more enough. No one gives a shit when you call somebody racist. So Nazis are going to get your thing. So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, fucking boo-boo word, he said, and then he fucking, when you come out of it, it could have just been like, by the way, make the fat jokes and stuff, and whatever jokes about me actually, I'm thrilled. I will get to take partial credit that I am the one who brought D.L. Hulie back to trying to be funny again.

Hey, Jay. Did you imagine that, dude? All these wars going on right now, and I got them being funny again. Don't you know people who don't care about real information about the wars want to hear D.L. Hewley tell it to them? Tell you what, though, fat people bring it out of people. Fat people bring out of you. Fat people bring the funny out of people.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I gave him a good canvas. So... It's a big canvas. I'm happy, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to take a break. Yeah. What are we at?

Because I don't want to stop. Big Jay is going to be... You want to keep going? I don't want to stop. No, no, because we have to... We'll take a little break. Let's take a break. We'll be back.

We've got no guests. We'll come back. We'll get into the... The DL stuff, for sure. The DL stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Jay is going to be New York. Comedy Club, Stanford, Connecticut, May 29th and 30th.

Friday Saturday. Friday Saturday? This week. Great club I was just the last week. Really fun club. Then he's going to Spokane Comedy Club June 5th and 6th. After that, he's going to be in Minneapolis, Buffalo, Harrisburg, PA, and Winnipeg. For tickets and all tour dates, go to BigJ Comedy.com, and make sure you check out his YouTube.com

slash at Big J. Okerson. I believe you're going live tonight, correct? Or was it last night? No, it's going to be Thursday. Thursday night. It'll be after the, after all we're doing, oh, we're going live Thursday. Going live Thursday? It'll be a little bit after that.

It's going to go live, so make sure you go to his YouTube page, and you can ask, I guess, anything you want? Yeah, I don't know if it means I'm going to answer anything. I'm also going to watch body cam videos and all the stuff I normally do, but I'm like, you say whatever you want. Ask whatever you want in the chat, I'll answer you. I think if I can, I mean, if I, within reason, can answer you. You promoted ask anything you want, I believe. Sure. Okay, great.

It's not called answer anything you ask. All right. You can ask. You can ask. Bring up any question. I'll tell you if I'm like, oh, I'll tell you this. I don't give a shit. Bobby Kelly is going to be a governor's in Levittown, June 19th and 20th.

Then the comedy mothership, Austin, July 3rd through the 5th. Three days. After that, he's going to be in Port Smith, New Hampshire, Saratoga Springs, and Brooklyn, New York. Ooh, the new improv? Dude, I didn't know it was real, but when they said an improv, I was like, maybe they stole the name, but it's... No, it's an improv. I'm doing it. I'm doing it one night.

Yeah, I wish I had the dates. Portsmouth is in, I think, July. Well, you'll get those dates when you go over to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly. You go get the dates. You want to see Bobby? Earn it. Earn it.

Make you check out his YouTube channel, Robert Kelly comedy. And of course, every Tuesday night, including tonight. Right? I'm going to be running all the DL's fat jokes tonight. Nice. Oh, yeah, you wrote them all down. I wrote them all down. I'm going to perform them tonight to see.

If they passed the funny test. I know two of them are. Oh, I know the other thing was doing about a... They were like, he's like, he's got color in his hair and nail polish. He's questioning my sexuality. And it's like, oh, yeah, I know that hurts worse. Like, I know that hurts worse coming from me directly. Hey, D.L. Hewley, you're gay.

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.