The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Catch a Girl, Freak a Girl w/Reggie Conquest

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

Actor and comedian Reggie Conquest used to play a game called "Catch a Girl, Freak a Girl" when he was a teenager. This spurs a conversation about games they would play growing up to see if a female was interested. | Jay was the odd man out on more than one occasion at hotel hookup parties. | Reggie has problems with lust that complicated his relationship. Bobby tries to teach Reggie safe ways to talk to women in his DM's without getting caught. Go to @Reggconquest on Instagram for all his dates and news! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. God, this show's gotten so musical. Now, they're all artists. That's why our... Give it the fridge. Let them play a little bit. Nice to have this in church. See what you got.

They used to do this in church. Oh, I don't have a beat with them Yeah, that's it They used to do the double clapping church That's like Yeah, black church rules Black church does rule You ever just go for fun?

No I did I did I won time I did It was the funnest thing ever It's a good time They sing I mean that won

It's one of my favorite videos We said we would never show Because we don't want to make fun And Derek and his mom Because I'm sure she's lovely And Derek's great Derek Gaines. Oh.

There's a video of him giving a testimony. Oh. And then they cut to his mom in church. Yeah. And the pastors just have footage of it. And they're like, is there a, we got some blessings going out to a young man. I remember that. There's a comedian.

Derek Gaines. I understand his mom's in the house. And they go upstairs and mom. She's like, wow. Yeah. It's like Price is right. I mean, she's back and forth. Right.

And at one point I was like, Derek, can we show it on a leisure this guy? And he was like. please don't make fun of my mama man i was like oh man we never showed it i do remember that video it's great yeah catholic church is boring as shit yeah it is i went to one um yeah i went to one one time it wasn't fun at all it's not fun and you're just waiting for that the body of christ just to get a little snack because you get peckish well i will say and y'all don't have children's church what does that mean like you don't all the kids have to stay with the adults The whole service.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and in Black Church, we had Children's Church, and it would go before the ceremony, before the word, children's got to go to Children's Church. Well, where do the children go when the adults go to regular church? Downstairs in the basement. That's where we got to play Truth of Dare. You guys were downstairs fingering each other while your parents were upstairs.

Yes. That's a better church. Black Church rules. Yeah. The Catholic kids are just getting sucked off by the priest in between services. Black churches, wow. To the movie Sinners. The Juke Joint downstairs?

Yeah. Black Church is where I learned. Black children's church is where I played True for Dare and all Catch a Girl, Freak a Girl, all that stuff. Wait, but what's Catch a Girl Freaker Girl? Come on, Bobby. I don't know. You get her and then you fucking grind up on her.

It's kind of wild to say, but in Philly, it was Catch a Girl, Freaker Girl. And if she, but it only worked. I love that you said Catch a Girl freaker girl. I'm from Boston. You guys say, you don't know what Catch a Girl Freak of Girl is it? No. But she had to like you. Like, you couldn't, like, I couldn't tag you and you don't like me.

of this tagging involved it was a it's just it was a childish way to without having to have a weird conversation but i like you you like you like you like you like you like you got to let the guy you like grab you and then it was basically like tag but we called it catch a girl for good girl so you catch you tag her and then you get if she like you you get a kiss or whatever but if she don't like you it's like get away from me get the fuck away from oh shit yeah it was also setting you up to feel terrible possible it was like captured a flag but with heartbreak. I thought you'd have to like danced on them.

Like, whatever, whatever you got on. All right, I caught you. Yeah, that's what I thought too. Get a little smooch,

little grab. Catch a girl, Freaky Girl. It was pretty innocent. It was innocent. Is that a black dude thing? Because I've never heard of that. It was pretty black.

I thought he would play that. You know what I'm talking about? Absolutely. Yes. Thank you. You play Catch a Girl Freaker Girl? Yeah, but we called it something different. Yeah, everybody got every black inner city got a different name.

Oh, black dude called a date. rape. Wait, where you from? Jersey. Oh, okay, yeah. So every city got a different name for it. Well, we had you had spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven. We never played spin a bottle. And seven in heaven never was a thing. I didn't grow up with that.

Never did seven minutes in heaven. Definitely did spin the bottle. Truth or dare, though, was big. Truth or dare, though, was big. Truth or dare was, I played that into my 30s. Me too. Me too. I've got an I've got an ordered amount of truth or dare games, I mean, with Kevin Hart. Yeah. With two three girls in a hotel room.

Truth of Dare is such a great game just to give the girl the excuse to be a slut. If you have limited to no game as I have had, especially when I was younger, and you're going and they see you perform, but you're also not like the dude. You're not like a big deal. It's just, again, it's an easy way without having to get rejected. Yeah. You could just go and just start truth or dare. Yeah.

And then eventually you'll get the vibe of it's like, should I dare her to blow all of us? You know the vibe when a girl's like, let's just play truths. And you're like, oh, my God, it's about to suck. Yeah, I'll tell you the truth. This stinks. And I want to leave. The story I told an Ari's thing,

the first thing I ever, or maybe the second story I told, me and my buddy Glenn and Kurt Metzker and this one girl. And she did that. We were playing truth or dare and we're making like the day or so. And then eventually she goes,

she goes, it's getting late. Like, should I just fuck all three of you? And we're like, hold on now. Whoa. I still have another truth to be. I was rattled. It took me a second. The regroups, I was like,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That never happens like that. Are you kidding? I thought she was kidding. Because you, there is, you have to do truth, truth, truth. And then a dare, but the dare is like, you know,

do something stupid. Yeah, and then your friends would throw you. I thought she was kidding. But she wasn't kidding. She was just fat. Your friends would throw you a bone. Like, if we're on teams, you're like, yo, dare me to do something with her, you know.

Yeah, you have to have like a pre-plan. Yeah. Well, that's what Kevin Hart got me bad. That was, we did a black college. Oh, shit. gorgeous all black chicks the other two looked like they were twins and they had like corn rows but like not attractive ones like six total yeah like two big thick ones in the side they actually look like corn huh they look like corn I don't know I used

like when girls have braids like big four girls though oh yeah yeah girls also so they were like they were big and like so I like a black girl with pigtails and I like that I don't see that's not a thing yeah they're called children yeah that's what I'm saying I like these little kid games too what's this a freaker girl what but yeah but Kevin we brought these three girls back or I should say he probably did ultimately yeah and then uh and then him and the one just like he's like all right he goes uh or no we were playing truth or dare uh huh is what it got and kev says me of course he goes he goes he goes he goes damn to pull my dick out yeah it's like all right i go kevin dare to pull your dick and he's like oh dude come all right man yeah yeah wait was it the

Did you have seconds, like 30 seconds, or just pull your dick out? Oh, that's probably for a time. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, there is, there always is a time. Yeah, yeah, you're like, I did you to give him a kiss for a third tongue kiss for a minute. And you're hoping that just gets her so riled up, she just grabs his dick out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it's on. But that's a five foot three guy, five foot two, five for three with a fucking huge dick pulling his dick out. Because then he just doesn't ask me, he goes, let me return that favorite of my boy. Jay, pull your dick out. And I was like, come on, man. What are we doing here, dude? This is stupid.

This is what we do? Yeah, dude. You just go to truth. And then he went in the bathroom with the chick, and, I mean, he was just giving her the business ass. I mean, she was making so much positive noise. And I'm sitting there with these two big girls out in the other room. And I said, I know the timing of this.

The Matrix had come out, and it just came on HBO. It was starting HBO, and this was like a Saturday night, and it was getting, we're probably getting the midnight replay of, like, the premiere of Matrix which and I always said about that movie I liked it a lot but what I hated was when it came out that everywhere you go fucking idiots were like makes you think right

it's kind of like what doesn't it make you think people still bring that shit up now of course red pill or blue like I hear that of course it's all the yeah it's like all the rage with political talk even is that but those two girls were like they were like what do you want to do now and I was just like have you not seen The Matrix

like this is crazy it makes you think I just didn't want to. That got to be a tough spot to hear your boy fucking and then that happened to me once so my boy was tearing something up in the bathroom and I was, I lost confidence hearing that. You're like, oh, hey, miss, you're not going to make those kind of noises.

Yeah, I lost, it lost all the confidence we didn't do anything. I was just like, damn. You could just almost see her wanting to be in there with them. Yeah, being the fucking other. There's nothing worse than being in a room with a guy with a huge dick. I remember me and Sharad hooked up with a flight attendant. And I was in the hot tub with her.

I was fine. My dick was fine. Everything. We're having a good time. And then Sharad walked in just naked, smoking a joint. And we both went, oh, my God. And she literally, like, kicked me over to, like, make room for his hog in this hot tub. Oh, Keith and Kev had that one time where, like, the girl that was with Kev, like, the girl was with Keith heard, like, Kev, like, delivered.

power next to the other bed and Keith said like his chick was just home and she's going like and he was like go on and she got to get this girl wanted nothing I remember after Sherrod was done with her I was just I actually just bailed out of it because it was just too much fucking and uh she she was done and then she was on the couch and she saw me just kind of sitting over by the bar and she went come here and she got on all fours and then she goes give me your little dick you get this out of my teeth real quick she goes go ahead and I just remember a pussy looked like it was inverted from his cock and I went I'm good thanks she goes hey can you stitch this up for me I started to learn though like I knew my trick I know I had to eat box

to get it going like I would just go like if I'm dealing with them like all right let me let me start I'll start this way while they're you know fucking I want you to come 73 times from me eating your pussy yeah I want I want to make you come so many times my dick seems huge I just we almost go you just go it doesn't matter how big it is like I've come too much yeah yeah he's not in there eating her pussy is he I bet Kevin Hart has terrible he pussy Kevin's never eating pussy why would he why the fuck would he we're professionals yeah what was that me and Kareem Green hooked up with a two really pretty black chicksie and it was girls he knew and he had him come over and it was that

thing and it was just it just got past the point like at first because there was four of us it kind of started that way like everyone was kind of doing their own thing and then And then there was, like, a point where I think one girl was, like, blowing him. And then the other girl was eating that girl out. Oh, damn. And then I went behind the girl. And I'd already hooked up with her. Like, we were already been hooking up a little bit.

But, like, once the focus turned to, like, they were having a threesome moments, I remember getting behind the girl. And, like, I forget if I touched her, whatever it was from behind. She just went, like, she stopped eating pussy to go. She goes, I'm good. And I went, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good, too. And I just milled around. You're like a waitress of water.

Do you want more water? I'm good. I milled around. She went, she went, she went, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, I was just making sure you had some win. What did you, what did you do after that? I left my own hotel room, walking around. I've left my own hotel room a number of times.

What happened with Mind if I joined the party too? Mind if I joined the party, that was Dave Smith. I left, left him in a room with the girl. Oh, God. Because she was just weird in general. Yeah, a couple times. That's fucking brutal. And then there was, this is funny, like, oh, shit, I don't know if I'd say,

because it's going to be a story on Story Wars tonight. No, don't say it. No, you just say it. It doesn't really matter. Nobody's going to say it. Well, the crossover of it. I don't think anybody's going to text during the show to blow up. They'd have to, like, they'd have to, like, message Lewis during the show.

That is. Yeah, but I'd want, I'd want it was so, I think I may tell us on this show recently, but it was me, Josh Wade, maybe our friend Travis and DeRosa. It's a lot of guys. Yeah, well, we were in a hotel. I had two hotel rooms. One was for me. I was like headlining in the gig,

and I brought those guys. It was the Crown Plaza down in Rascals, New Jersey. Remember that used to be a Rascals down there in Cherry Hill? And we were all in the hotel. We were all my hotel room, and they had another hotel room, and we bring these three girls back. There's four of us.

And I think I'm hitting off the one. By the way, the least attractive, heaviest one. But I'm like, this one's locked in, though. Yeah. This one's locked in. She's mine. This one's locked in for sure. and the other guy is Josh Wade is the guy who got the girl so like he kind of there was already a girl who like he was the hottest one was like he was kind of hooking up with and then Travis and there was just like this one floater this one that was the big girl and I was like but this is locked in but now it's awkward because in my mind I'm like DeRose is left out yeah I was like but like it's almost like it's getting late like we gotta fucking get to it let's go like we gotta kind of figure out what's going on so I we're kind of

saying to this girl like well I mean we can't all hang out like who should go you know we're almost gonna I'm I'm confident doing this I'm like she's gonna say Joe at some point yeah has to go so she's like I don't want to say I feel bad so I go well listen write down who you want to stay and then the other person will go no hard fields we're all fucking adults and she goes okay and she wrote she wrote on the paper and put I grabbed I was so happy I couldn't wait to read it fast enough I'm like let's get Joe the fuck out of here and I look at the thing and I go it says Joe and I remember going I went

and this is who you want to stay and I was like yeah and of course then the guys are like no no dude dude dude like just cool they'll stay everyone's hanging out we're having a good time and I'm like no those guys

was fucking totally cool I like this wait so they were this before laptops I went to that room and had to watch like coach on fucking USA for like two hours waiting for my friends to stop fucking so they were they were they were

you would have headliner so you brought those guys. Yep. So I went to their room. I got sent off to their room because everyone was going down to my room. You had to go to the double bedroom. That shit

happened to me on the road. I brought a comic. I was headlining and then he got some assing. You're just like, I'll never bring you again. That used to happen with me and Stobby all the time. I took him on tour and I thought every night he had fucking pussy and I was just back in the room

having tea by myself oh and you're like hey when you're done if you want to watch a movie or something I do that on the road people are they're hanging out later ago like so you had a good time they're like yeah they're not even worried about how many times are the openers or people around like I guess not that many times but like Dylan's like a young guy through the last couple years

or something you're like no do your thing but you know if you come back like I'll probably still be watching TV if you want to smoke a joint or get food or something I have Oreos I don't know if you saw but the marketplace has full sleeves of Oreos not just like the four-pack, like the box, like the half-box. So if anyone needs me.

The I'm good is crazy. That's a heartpiece. That's the sucks. I'm good. She turned right around. She's turned right around. But that was the bad, Patrice, I mean, it's polite. It's polite. Oh, yeah. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. It was one of Karim's greatest moment. Listen, the fact that it happened at all, me and Kareem have two stories hooking up with chicks that's like, it was all him in his game. He called these two girls, And he was like, hey, my boy, we were in Maryland.

He goes, me and my boy are here. Got a hotel room. He's fucking hanging out when, like, fucking party figure you guys come by hook up or whatever. He was, like, pretty blunt. And I hear right away, it's going, he's like, yeah, right over in Laurel, Maryland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this hotel. It's like, cool, all right, good, we'll see you in an hour. And he hangs up, and I was like, so they're just like, he's like, yeah, they're coming.

He's like, these girls are good. They come to fucking hang. And I'm like, did you tell? You didn't tell him how I was white. And he goes. so and I went I think it's beautiful that you feel that way Karim but like

let's just call back and tell him worst case scenario you know what I mean and he goes okay and he calls them back and he goes hey my boy wanted me to tell you guys by the way that he's white huh oh come on

no stop that shit come on and he's I see him I hear him like convincing them and then his last sentence he would tell you this right now if you called him today we always talk about she goes she went like this i'm good probably she did eventually yeah but she goes but he's saying all this stuff and then i can see they're turning they're like no i don't i think we're all right we're good and then he says he was what did martin luther king

die for and we and they came over and i fucked one for a little bit before she said i'm good she did it for unity cream went for man the other one was we took a girl back to a howard johnson's a howard johnson's what's that hotel a hotel she made moate The guy's civil rights They're into fucking fucking you That was another Kareem We brought this girl back from a bar we met This black chick

And she was like And we get this hotel room It's shitty two beds And him and her are sitting on the one bed I'm just like I'm such an obvious like Hey let me know if I should hang or leave You know and uh

And Kareem just keeps like whispering her ear And she goes He whisper stuff in her ear and she goes Huh? She goes Uh yeah I saw that coming and I'm like, oh, he presented it.

He presented it. And she goes, well, just none of y'all tried to put in my ass. And I was like, ooh, we're in. And I jumped in it. And I was like, damn, Kareem's good. Wait, were you bigger? Were you bigger back in a little bit?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the black girl, because I feel like black girls are nicer to white guys back then. Like, you, because you're in this black space and they're more likely to fuck you because you're the only white guy. Well, there's these scenarios, though. I used to get girls all the time

at the black night of the Boston comedy If they would have seen me do like my thing, that wouldn't have been a such a weird situation. It wasn't. I was just the white guy in the situation. Oh, shit. Yeah, I had to show him. I had to show him who we're talking about. That was kind of rude. But I was just the white guy, but I was just the white guy

in those situations. It wasn't doing, if I did comedy, it would have been a little bit of a different. This guy looks like, I felt like they came back. Like, the Kevin stories are girls that saw us do but like, you know, one year in comedy. You look like a sandwich influencer. Hey, Joey, yeah. You have the Sean John on with the leather?

Oh, shit. Come in and get a Guba Gats. No, they made me. I had other clothes. Oh, no, but this is a, this one, this is young, cool, Philly White, Jay. Oh, for sure, but this is also why I'm wearing that is that's made, they made you wear. Oh, okay. I wore, I had a buttoned down shirt with everything else that I was wearing.

Oh, okay, okay. Like, they didn't make them wear that leather bracelet. No, no, no. From fucking He-Man. No, but the leather bracelet, but that bracelet did. I did go with my shirt. Oh, with the original shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They just made me wear this because you have to wear Sean John. Was that a blood pressure bracelet? Bad boys. Oh, I'm going to watch this when I get home. I tell you, can I say something about you? Even when you were big, that you were kind of still adorable.

You're a little fit. Look how adorable your faces. I was boyish. I was boyish. This has been my problem with body hair and facial hair in my whole life. Everything was too fat for it to connect, so everything looks patchy.

Yo, I think I go through that. Like, my beard doesn't connect. It's like doesn't connect right here. But if you lose weight, it'll come together nice. It doesn't connect, like, right in here. I get little patches. I tried to grow a beard, but I look 97 if I grow a beard. Really?

I grew my hair out last summer, and my wife was like, get it off. Because in, like, two weeks, I just look like an old... Your beard? I grew my beard and my hair. Well, your hair's going to look bad shit. Nah, the beard is... Your hair would look nuts, dude. Yeah, the hair is crazy.

Growing your hair and would look fucking crazy. But, nah, you've got the silver fox going on. I think the silver foxes is in. Yeah, for gay guys. No way. For chicks, dude, you're a zaddy. You're a zaddy, yeah. I haven't had...

Last night at the show, there was like four tables of girls. One row of smoking hot, like, 20-something-year-olds from Boston, which I usually have a thing. Wow. They don't... I was talking to them after the show. And, you know, I got a little... I got a little sling.

You know what I mean? A little sling? Yeah. Strange. What's that? Well, you were telling me about your show yesterday. All you said was there was a super hot trans lady in the front row, but a cool black guy comes in the studio.

All of a sudden, there were tables of hot chicks everywhere. There was a lot of hot girls there, yeah. The trans girls was one I liked. How do you know they were friends? You know my, how? Because their dick was salty. I just know. You just know?

Yeah, well, I was like, hey. He invited her. How do I know? Because we matched on the fucking internet. Because she cost $3.50. Because the extra $100 was for God. You did have a thing for trans, like, at some point. Like, I remember doing your show upstairs.

I've never had a thing for trans. Sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. The key word of sometimes. When I first moved here, we did your show and you was going on about this trans girl. You gave me my first pocket pussy. Bailey J. I'm sorry, what?

You gave me my, you remember that. I'm friends with a lot of trans girls, yeah. Yeah, but you, it was a, you had a lot of stuff, and you gave me and Chris a dick pump, and he gave me a pocket pussy. Yeah, yeah. Did you use it? I did. And, and? I felt, I got rid of it the first time I used it.

Was it a flashlight? Was it the flashlight one? It was like, uh, it was like that first one. Yeah, the flashlight. So here's the problem with it. And then tell me if I'm wrong. But I got, I got rid of it. I felt like such a fucking loser when I used it.

It's when you're done because you have to clean it. It's all of it's in there, right? There was a guy in love after lockup who lived with his mom who would fuck pocket pussies and put them in the dishwasher. And his mom would be like, oh, Devin, please. And he's like, what, ma, what am I going to do? You know how mad Don would be if she found a pussy in the woodclosure? She'd rather find a body in the attic.

I got rid of it. I used it. I came and I was like, this isn't. This isn't good. It's not good. Yeah, I got rid of it. You're going to get the whole body. No, you got it to be disposable.

It's like razors. It's like I'm going to do. Bang this thing out on the sink for a thousand hours, trying to get all that hair out. I'm throwing this one out. I'll start fresh next time. I was so mad Chris got that dig pump. That's what I wanted.

Did you? I'll get you. I have one, I think. I don't want one now. I'm saying. I'm sorry. You've changed so much. Hey, I'll take it.

I'll give it a whirl. You went to black church? I'll take it out. I don't want a dig pump now. I'll see what all the hubbub's about. Yo, Chris got that. And at the time, I was so mad. I was like, damn, he got the better device.

He got the better dick device. I'm going to let down a fake pussy instead of pumping my dick huge. But the thing, when you, I use the pocket pussy, whatever they call it, the flashlight. And you have to clean it. So I was like, all right, great. You have to pull it out. But when you pull it out, it's so vacuum sealed, it sounds like you're ripping a real vagina out of a woman. And then you have, it's such a.

disgusting mess you could also not come in it yeah but what are you going to do pull out oh no like i broke it in everything like i just pulled it out like a break there crash up it's like i like broke it so i could not use it again i was so you i was so disgusting that's like pouring like coke on pizza it's like ah i can't eat i didn't have i think that was it when i was living in bushwick i didn't have a window and i was just you just fucking broke it up Oh, dude, yeah, well, it's anything, especially when you're done. That's the thing when you're done,

you're like, what if I just, what have I become? What is this? Who's doing this? Why is that as soon as you're done, you realize what a hunk of shit you are? Something about coming where you're like, it has like, like some type of serenity enters your body

where you're like, I never want to do this again. Yeah. And then as soon as that goes away, you're like, I'm going to do this. The next morning. You're in the trash putting it back together. I delete my full history in case, He never knows what I'm capable of.

I do that, too. I delete my history every time I jerk off. God forbid Dawn Types in Sheridan Hotel. Well, you jerk off on your phone, right? I jerk off on my phone mostly, but when I want to treat myself, I do my computer. I think going on your computer is insane. Well, it's just a little harder. Oh, really?

Yeah. I'm on my back. I'm on my phone. Yeah, phone's good. You know what I got, though? That's better. I got the Samsung, the fold. so it folds open to like a mini iPad.

Now, what is strange about that is that phone is simply for pornography. That's true. He uses his other phone for everything else. That's weird. No, you're absolutely. That's right. I travel with that phone.

When I get to a hotel, if I'm going to slap it at a hotel, lay on my back, pillows, so I'm sort of like propped up. Then another pillow or two stack where the laptop will sit on. I will tend to type with my right hand and jerk left,

and then I come, I bring the right hand, over when I know this is it Jay's like a hacker when he jerks off I got my phone on my back and I'm flipping my phone on your back I mean I got my phone on my back and I got my phone

and I'm like yeah I do the same thing most of the time I get but I do but I never go on my laptop I think that's crazy I think what he said that's kind of solved the problem is you get the pillow for the iPad so you bring it up to the computer the computer for the iPad

I mean the computer the pillow for the computer so your fingers are at Because that's where I get fucked up, where it's down there. But if it's up here. Sometimes you do, sometimes I've forgot to close out. So sometimes I'll be like, hey, we need your directions. And then you go to your website. You're like, oh.

But I've never had to delete my history, though. I deleted every, every single. I think the only thing I've whacked off till my phone would have to be like personal stuff, though, that's either been sent to me or something like that, you know, like a real thing. I'm just scared to go on my laptop. Like, porn porn, I'd go on computer always. I'm scared to go on my, on my, on my, computer because I'm scared of like a virus

or something I don't know I don't care Nord VPN yeah I go on it and I play porn roulette where I just type in the X and I you know like X and a lot of times the little

where I've been will come up sometimes and then I I'll go to like a porn hub or I'll go to and I'll just whatever comes up I'll click and then scroll and click and then scroll and click, and it keeps bringing you to different genres. I know that. It's like a weird thing.

Like, all of a sudden you'll wind up on something fucking wild. But I like that. But the thing is, I go for a, it's interesting. I go to, like, lobster tube or whatever. I've never been to lobster tube. What's that? I just use Twitter. Twitter porn.

What? Yeah. Sure. That's all I use now. X. But lobster tube is a, lobster tube is a, it's like one of the things where it's like, it brings everything. It's a category.

It's a category. Why Lobster, though? Oh, I have no fun. Oh, shit. I didn't even know this was a site. And you just click, but it gives you, I don't want to know anymore. He did this to me years ago with, I think, hamster or something? X Hamper.

That's the X, that's the X thing I think. Yeah, but X Hamster, this gives you, this gives you the responses from X Hamster. This is one of those ones like, you click the subject. Yeah. And then you see, it's like each one's from. Now I'm going to have to watch every fucking. But you see, like, each one's from E-Porter, ex-hamster. fap house

and all the porn hub and all that shit all that shit but it's a but what makes that doesn't make me feel this doesn't make feel like a loser ever because

someone decided these categories these subcategories I'm finding them all broken up like that what's it called what the lobster tube what makes me feel like shit is when you go on like Bing which is a Jacob thing from years ago

I go on Bing and when I'm typing in the words that's where I'm like am I going to end up on a wall Oh yeah, you type in exactly what you're looking for. I'll tell you what I've learned. Hostage. No, do you know a lot of these?

If you type in drunk into a lot of these, drunk, it gives back. It gives back, it will not, they're like, absolutely not. They took away a lot of the search words. Yeah. You can't have, like, there was... Passed out unconscious. Yeah, force. You can, force is gone, but you can go around it.

Of course, yeah. Like, if you want to see, like, some type of forced, if you type in gambling debt, a lot of those are some guy going, I don't have the money. Well, now she's mine. So, yeah, you can't have to find a way around the... All right, you guys, oh, geez, or whatever.

What, I've been frustrated. How could I be wanting to, I ask Keith this. I said, yo, because I got in trouble, you know, being too... That takes a long time. What? Asking him something. Yeah. And I asked my dad, too.

I said, yo, when does the, when does the lusts, the lusts, go away. Like, because I got in trouble, I cheated, and I got caught or whatever. Oh, boy. Yeah. And I was like, I was just frustrated with my horniness. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? I think you have to get to Bobby's age. Yeah. Yeah, well, it doesn't go away.

It goes away from wanting to have sex with the person you love. But when you go on the road, you want to have sex with yourself a lot. You actually get closer to yourself. And instead of Bobby having sex, he eats strange things from around the country. Well, I do. I do go around.

But here's the thing. It's not even like I want to, I don't want to have sex with other women on the road either because that's taxing and a problem and ruin my life. No, trans is too much. Oh, my God. But you do want to, as soon as you get to the hotel, please, you know, have a little relaxation and you'll jerk off, and that's enough. That's enough for me.

Oh. Yeah, for me. That's enough. Let me ask you, let me ask you question. How did you get caught? How'd you fuck up? It's being stupid. Instagram.

Instagram is a problem. You stay together? The DMs? Yeah, we stay together. You did the DMs. DEMs. And you got Snapchat, kid. No, no, Snapchat is not good.

It goes away. Listen to me. Your text, everything is gone after you see it. For children. There's no, there's no, listen to me. I'm explaining something to you. Listen. I can't listen to you about Snapchat.

What do you know about Snapchat? If you go to Snapchat, pay attention. The text, every, listen to me, I'm an influencer. Everything that you write or she writes disappears. The conversations don't stick around. No, I know that. So when you go to DM, when you're on instagram that stuff sticks around they can't take a photo on if they take a photo

say she you send her something you do this you do this you know about this i have no idea what it is if they listen to me if they if they take a photo of it it tells you they took a they took a they took a screenshot of your thing and then you're like oh fuck you know what so yeah so you know you'll be just you know you'll be informed that you're fucked just you know you'll be informed that you're If they take a picture of it and it doesn't go, before it goes away, you'll know. Here's what you're going to do. Here's what you're going to do. You're just got to learn to talk regular and let them talk dirty.

And they'll say, fucked up shit and just go, thanks. And give a thumbs up. You won't get in trouble. What you catch? Was it bad? Was it bad? It's always bad, man. But I want some self-control.

Did you hook up or did you, or was it just chatting and stuff? A little bit of both. Yeah. A little bit of both. Yeah. No pictures, though, right? Oh, shit. And no pictures?

Exclusively pictures, probably. Was it all pictures? It's some pictures. Was there any? Because I think pictures are less worse than texts. Because you saying something fucked up hurts more. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Pictures, yeah. I got some pictures. Yeah, because everybody, I get pictures from girls. I don't almost see them. I don't give a shit. Do you your wife? Yeah, she's into it. No.

I'm about to say. I didn't know this, Bob. No, but every once in a while, I'll be like, ah, this chick sent me a picture of a titch. She's like, why? I'm like, I don't know. Well, I got, sometimes I have things of a girl sent a picture of her like, yeah.

Like, pussy and be like, show this to Christine. Like, they tell you to show it to Christine. They have the greatest relationship ever. Yeah, I know. I've known that through the years. Like, damn. God damn it frustrates me. Yeah.

Yeah, you guys really gut it all together. It comes with its own set of issues. Yeah, what? You guys are jealous of what? Promiscuity in a relationship can cause more problems sometimes. For bitches. It'd make me so happy if you were doing a threesome and you came up behind Christine, she goes, I'm good.

I'm good. It's like me crying and him telling me it's because he was fat. All good here. All good here. They didn't like me when I was young. I'm like, fine, just cheat. I think Dawkins has to go out. Take Dawkins out, Jay.

Wow. Oh, we got to wrap this bad boy up? I'm going to wrap it up. Oh, Taylor, dang. Reggie Conquest is going to be in, is this thing on, premiering in theaters. in December and is it still standing comedy festival in Austin, Texas, November 8th for tickets and all tour dates. Go to Reg R-E-G-G-G-G-Conquest on Instagram at Reg. Conquest on

Instagram for all of his dates. You've been on a bunch of TV? You're killing it. You get a lot of TV stuff. I have, yeah. Ari's video of your sex scene is one of my favorite things that's ever going out on social media. I'm just cheering you on. Yeah, you did the sexy. Get it, Reggie. by Black on the HBO show Insecure Insecure, yeah

You're killing it man You're great actor too, dude It's good to see, man Go birds, go sixers Go birds, go sixers, go Philly Go Philly versus everybody Look at Bobby wearing that Celtics jersey Like a piece of shit

Whatever Boston idiot Whatever At least I didn't play touch a freaky What is it is? Catch a girl freaker girl Whatever God you're white

Stupidest game I've ever heard of Painfully white Touch a girl Catch a girl freaker girl Catch a girl Pasadena, Friday and Saturday, and then October, you're going to go to Austin, Tampa, Sidesplitters, New Orleans, Scantic Fest, Big J Comedy.com for all tickets, and YouTube.com slash

at Big Jokerson. And his, them, they, available on pre-order for vinyl is coming out. It's a beautiful album, double album, makes you go to Big J.com to get that. Bobby Kelly's Sidesplitters this weekend. That's right, Tampa. Get your tickets now. Thursday still have some tickets left Thursday through Saturday. Yeah, they're adding a show.

shows for jay i'm just asking to fill the ones i already have well i will tell you they didn't add that show yet so i hope they start selling some tickets soon uh bobby's also gonna be in amas pennsylvania new orleans again providence rhode island punchup dot live slash robert kelly and uh enjoy the pre-record tomorrow it's very fun one that was a good one congo day congo day and then uh we'll catch you guys monday crackle crackle