The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Catching Up the Family (feat. Andy Fiori)

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Andy Fiori is back on The Bonfire and Jay educates him about The Odd Throuple.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@AndyFiori www.AndyFiori.com

Hey guys, make sure you go check out Dan Sodor. You know he's in London, England at the Soho Theatre tonight through June 18th. For tickets and all of Dan's tour dates, of course, go to dansodor.com. Everybody I'm going to be on the Berk Rysher Fully Loaded Festival for the next two weekends. Make sure you check that out coming to a city near you. Some tickets still left in some of the cities. After that, I have Brick City Comedy club in Oklahoma and then Albany New York I think for tickets at all door dates go to bigjcomedy.com

and now the bonfire with big J. Ocasin and dance odor we rock the roll so hard he broke his heel stomping. Oh man, remember when Def Leopard had all their arms? No. Now that's this. This is Def Leopard formed. Full arm. Full arm.

Def Leopard, yeah. He fucked up after this I think. Or the car accident I should say. Fucked up. I hope it was his fault. I'm not doing it that way. Huh? Start him. Got to him and he went a little crazy. I know it was a car accident I should say fucked up I hope it was his fault got away huh start him got to him and he went a little crazy I know it was a car accident it was in his fuck up though I wonder it's weird a plane that on somebody when it's not yeah you come at any goes okay Tracy Morgan's

actually like well what was he doing it's like that doesn't matter he's probably doing bits and distracted the bus driver yeah he's probably being so hilarious he fucking that he asked for that bad karma, dude I've said to play some deflepper because we're thinking about we're not thinking about we're trying to I believe they said it should happen Broadcasting from the def leopard motley crew poise and show at Hershey PA If we get there early we're gonna take on maybe the the Hercules over Hershey's park. I don't know I'm big jayokerson. This is the Bonfire Faction Talk Series 6M 103. Dan Sotar is off doing Christal he knows what. I hope he got his voice back.

I'm gonna ask. How's his voicey? I don't know. He called me today so it must be back. I didn't know what his name was answering. I was doing skanks but. He said that he is doing his show tonight. His voice is raspy but he's gonna do the show tonight.

Oh, he's gonna judge that in my house and boy, you're raspy, you know, hey, it's me, Dan. I got a lot of things to talk about. Shreds. Likes. Well, it's good. So go see Dan tonight at the Soho theater in London, England, everybody.

He is there for a couple more days. So could the he's feeling better and he's fucking coming to you. DanSoda.com for tickets sitting in his place today. Once again, family in the house everybody. It's the Merc face. The Larry Sandy Fury. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, and again, skeleton crew. We got black blue working from home. Jacob, did he make it out? He survived the night time. He went on a night dive last night. Anybody heard anything from him? I heard from him. He sounded fine. Did he really? Do you sound like he was missing a leg or something from a shark bite? No, he sounded like he was gonna go on another excursion and he couldn't talk. Oh, I love to have him on the show right now because I'm very curious

It's a little trippy here. I found out on Legion of Skankshler today. Today is National Megalodon Day. And you know, he's super big on sharks. He's got a tooth of a Megalodon. I believe I wonder if he knows it's Megalodon day. Or maybe it's why he's on the shore. And maybe he's in a Megalodon day, Megalodon day barbecue. Of course, that's why I timed my vacation. A Megalodon day.

Barricade. Everything I like is rugged. God damn, he's not wrong. It's a tiny man. He has such big, big aggression. Did you watch the Meg? Nope, it's fun. It's fun enough.

Yeah, cuz it's bigger than a great white, right? Oh, buddy. Is that the idea of it? 19 great whites. Really? Yeah, it's fake, right? No. It exists.

So why wasn't Joel's a megalodon? It was like the dinosaur of sharks, and then they got wiped out. Oh, they're not around anymore. There are no Megalodons. Uh-oh. Stop confusing me everybody. I could be wrong, but this is why we need Jason.

Except there was one, Megalodon. No, no, no. And it was in that movie. Well, yeah. But that's the idea of the movie, is like, holy shit, there is still a Megalodon. Correct. That's the plot.

Yeesh. What is that? A Megalodgalodon tooth yeah that's not that big whatever dude fuck that megalodon I'll punch you right in the nose tall takes you just got jack at the nose and everything's fine yeah good call Lou great white white I have this tape. Yeah? Yeah. Once bitten, twice shy. Once bitten, twice shy. Do you think like the band great white, you can stop an actual great white with fire? Who knew the only thing you'd take out of great white was fire on land?

I believed in land sharks. That scared me as a kid. That they would come up on land and get it? Yeah! Didn't you? Now I never was around water that much. Yeah, I Learned my I kept my still to this day like keep my swimming the pools, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm a pool swim guy I like both we went to a key West recently Yeah, actually Rebecca Tren who's hanging out with some studio. Yeah. I could see Rebecca me Christine Lewis on this thing and We got out off a boat twice

To go like mill around the water a little bit and like the mean Rebecca both and I commit to this I can't but I never thought of it before I'm upset. I didn't and I will buy Better versions of these but me and her both wore our flip flops the entire time. In the water? In the ocean. Uh, yeah. With your feet were touching the ocean floor? Yes.

Yeah, that's, all right. I mean, that's not that weird. It was pretty weird. Every step you sunk into sand, however, rather than that then feeling, if I step on, yeah, I'm just, I'm done. I'll squeal. It's the same thing as if I get a piece of like why don't he ribs on a bone or something

You know, I mean I get a little piece of that that grissily bite back I'm like up. I'm done and the whole meal's over you need and I will be I'll scream if a fish bumps my leg I'll scream I'll try to jump. I'll try to chin up on the will boat. Oh wow It's gonna be another hilarious thing. I can't do that I can't chin up off a boat. You'll see me desperately trying. In my little tutsies kicking under water. My flip flop is gonna come off. I forgot. I mean losing shit in a water. Doggy paddling like crazy. It's an aggressive doggy paddle. Oh, I'm trying to stay above the water. I can stand in because I don't want to touch the ground anymore. Do you touch the ground? Do you touch your ground that is the first stop at all?

Oh, yeah, that's why I had them throw my flip flops to me. Oh, you need water shoes. I'll get water shoes Solves all your problems. It solves a hundred percent of my problems Yeah, also if I can work full diving suit so nothing touches my legs or body at all I don't mind if an eel slides past my panted leg, but if an eel touches my skin, I'm going to make noises that are going to, it's so, these are water shoes. Yeah, they're a little holy for me. Let's be a little more coverage than that. No, your, your eel's covered. That's what you need. And those are full-summerjian water shoes. You still need speed, Jay.

Yeah, you're right. I got a slice through water. Yeah. I don't know if you guys know this, but I swim like a dolphin, dude. Right. Aero dynamic to say the least. I like this. I like this.

Don't you love going in the ocean now? It's so, it's rejuvenating. Well, much like everything that I enjoy the style of for some reason, it was the woman's version. I was like, those ones with the paint on them look pretty cool and that looked right underneath. Woman's swimshoe. Do they even make these for men?

Are men not supposed to be this beefy about getting in water? Yeah, we just never thought to do that. Are you an ocean guy? Yeah. You jump right in. You don't give a fuck. No, but I went surfing for the first time last year.

And when you're sitting on top of the board and your legs are just dangling over That was the most unsettling feeling I've ever had my entire life really cuz I was just like Well my legs are just gonna get ripped off by a shark right now Look at those how fun those are those are fun. They're made of jellies They're made of friendship bracelets. I know and they're for girls only everything sucks girls You can get them in a 14 that That doesn't mean men's 14. It's a woman's 14.

It's men's, you mean. A buck for a nice. $140. Is that all? They're really good shoes. Are they? Because it doesn't look like they're made out of friendship race, but that was not kidding.

Looks like I can make those. They're really good, Christine. Yeah. Why do you say so? Because they're $140. That's what my friend Chelsea told me, and I trust trust her and you can wear them with a fun outfit after you Your friend Chelsea talk about water shoes. Yeah, this has come up before. Yeah, I didn't have a water Shoot discussion in my entire life. Yeah

Oh, so you wore swim shoes Christine's from the beach. Why do you have swim shoes? Because I went camping. What do you need swimsuits for when you're camping? Because sometimes it can be rough and you hike out and you wear those to hike out and then you can either wear them in the water or not. Stars get a lot of plottles. Yeah, this thing is fun. Oh, I will give you you can there are lakes and rivers and creeks. Yeah, I have called man's hole and you have to hike out to it man's hole. Is that what's called? Man's Hole and you have to hike out to it. Man's Hole? Is that what it's called?

Yeah. So that was a dick hole. Your man's hole? We're going down old man's hole. The old man's hole. Don't order these just yet. I may never go in the ocean again. They're so cool.

We're going to get them wear them for style around. I see the birds eye. I don't know if I love the color scheme. Yeah, me either. They're a little loud. they're a little loud. They're a little loud. They're a little living out loud. They're coming anywhere cool colors.

Does Yeezy make a version? I think they believe, you know, only a certain kind of dude is showing up to buy these. And I think they made the color scheme adequate. The more I think about it. Give us some more choice. The red and blue looks fun. I have a little black and white. See, they're now talking blue looks fun. Oh, I have a little black and white.

See, they're now talking. That looks like a fun. How about the black and gray up there, Christine? I keep it like a man, would you? No, no, no, that's khaki. That looks like a match. No, they match just fine. Boom, there they are.

There's my swim shoes. This is like all the Greek guys in my neighborhood where. Daily. Those are my swim shoes. This is like with all the Greek guys in my neighborhood where. Daily. Those are my swim shoes maybe. It looks like you get hooded up in those too. Oh yeah, you never know because sometimes when you're camping, you get to go on a hike and then you can go on the water and your shoes and then also basketball. Remember that conversation that Christine had with her friend at one time?

I took off, I went on a hike and we got in water and my friend really didn't want to go in. And so I took off my shoes and I thought when you go, I thought she would come in the water. I thought when you go, when you go camping, go skinny dipping. I thought none of this makes any sense. You can still skinny dip and have shoes on. I think it still counts as a skinny dip. Hell no. You're now you're a liar and a whore. Are you happy with what you've done to? No know you don't know it goes down in man's hole happens in man's whole stays in a man's hole until he farts it out that was a I'm working on my

thinly veiled cum jokes Lou thank you thank you Lou are you a beach guy at all no because I burn so easily. I give you like 20 minutes of up in the water, I'm out. But you do like getting in the water. I like the water the only part I like. You ever been stung by jellyfish? No. Do you live in constant fear of it like I do?

Yeah. Or if a fish touches me or something rubs up like you say. Yeah, you still do it though. I'll go to listen. We're all going to the beach. I'm going to the beach. Right. I mean, like we're all going to the beach for a beach day. I'll go to listen. We're all going to the beach. I'm going to the beach. Right. You know what I mean? Like we're all going to the beach for a beach day. I'll go to the beach probably. Especially if you make it's mega convenient for me. Yeah. I'll go to the beach.

And then while I'm in the water, I'm having a blast. And maybe it goes without incident. Buddy. Throw it. Toss it. But doesn't take much. I'll say what ruined it last time. My last ocean, uh, then we weren't. Christine goes, you love the beach in Miami so much. The beach was right up back in the hotel. You love, you were having a great time. Cause she chooses to forget that when it wasn't a good time anymore was when I was the height of having my happiness

in water, which everyone knows is flips. I like doing underwater flips. It makes my belly go whatever. I feel all 0G and it's like a roller coaster I love it. I would think you are the I think you would love Waste high water in the ocean tossing the football round doing fun diving catches absolutely That's just a good time. Absolutely a good time. Problem is Lewis is my beach friend and he's not really athletic in that way Now me and Lewis had a football catch in the water actually.

It was very fun. It was very fun. And we were making diving catches and all of that was great. I'm just saying like when I was doing in Miami, I was doing my underwater flips. And I felt like some seaweedy or something, kind of like hooked onto my body, my shoulders. And something, kind of like hooked on to my body, my shoulders, yeah. And I started to kind of like, oh, this is growing, and I came above the water,

and it wasn't seaweed at all. It was five, six, seven feet of police caution taped. And then I go, only me, only me that would happen too. And then I go only me only me that would happen to and then I fucking Oh I hated it Oh really? Asgrob Mayo he was there laughing at me cackling Cackling at me is like good and I couldn't it was like wrapped around me And that's Miami police sign.

I mean, it got Christy knows that is. Body's washing up on the... No one had sure. Couple kilos under there. Oh, you think I should have followed down? Get the stash. True romance, that shit? Exactly.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Um, now I don't, I don't like it. I love it. I go down to Jersey Shore for a week every summer. I love it. It's barely beach. It's good beach though. Pretty clean Not good beach Local the water. What's better than around here? What sucks is the water at the Jersey Shore? Why it's nice. It's warm

It's just sort of sucks East Coast beaches sort of so I think you don't get the full. I think you have to get the Florida I think you have to get the Florida before you see blue water I don't care about the color The color you want to tell me what's in there? All right, why if you know I mean visuals then it's fine. I mean yeah, I need visuals I need to see a nice clear water. It is greenish. That's why they may it's greenish. Yeah, absolutely is And it's because that fur all over the rocks under the water? Fuck all that.

Now, and Lewis J. Gomez calls me garbage for this often. And that's fine, call me garbage. Right, I've never gone to Jamaica, I've never done any of that stuff. Key West didn't really have beaches. But I will say when I go on those crew, one of the only things I love about cruise ships, doing those charter cruises, besides being with friends sometimes,

but your stuck on that thing is when we go to the private island, that little, what is that royal Caribbean? No, what is it? Carnival? Nor region. Nor region? Yeah. The Norwegian cruise lines, little honko Johnny Depp land they purchased out there. It's the private beach they shuttle you too. And I go on in the water out there and I go this is the most beautiful beach

I've ever been to in my entire life. And Lewis goes that's garbage to feel that way. But I think it's great. Never done a Caribbean water. Have you ever done a Rubrae? It's the best. You never, oh, you would love it. Ray, he'll take you all over.

You go do power sailing. What a gig's weird. Huh? I heard the gig is weird. It's a tourist gig. But you only have to do three in a week. And you're there for like 10 days. It's really.

Really? It's not a money gig. You go for like as a vacation and get to make a little, you break even. That was beautiful. You pay your ticket, you pay it for the hotel room and all your shit is like 50% off. The beaches are great.

Oh, Christine, what is that, a video of the world's beautiful beach? Yeah, but I don't know what happened to me. Dude, good ass beaches. Although you do need ocean footies, because for some reason, the floor of that aruba ocean is like squishy brainy. Yeah, that's what was going on in the Key West.

Yeah. I'm already out. I was gonna go. I was gonna go. I should hit up a ruby ray and be like, dude, yeah. No, it's fine. Yeah, Christine went already out. I was I was gonna go I was gonna hit up a rubare and be like dude. Yeah, no It's fine. I think Christina attend a vacation and then you're like brainy ground like I do have my new sh my new swimsuits made it a friendship bracelet. It's probably time to give them a whirl But it's blue waters, right so great

Go in the winter go in the winter Dude I fell in love with it. And dude, you're a big guy like me. It's like 80 at all, but there's a constant breeze. I didn't sweat once. Really? It's so nice. I like a constant breeze.

It's really a sweet, sweet gig. Yeah, that's right on the beach. Right on the beach. And you stay in the Natalie Holloway hotel. So there's history. No shit. Yeah. That's pretty fucking cool. Yeah.

That's true. That guy did almost get away with killing that girl. Does give me some ideas. Christine, let's book a Rubaray's gig. I'm going to go down. I'm like, what happened to Christine? I go, I don't know if she ran off with these Bjorgon and Fjorgon Storge kids.

I did it's all Dutch weirdos down there. Yeah. Did you hear it? Some Flurgen, Jürgen Sturgen. Some Flurgen dudes. No, no, some guys lure them out there with their uncircumcized goofy dicks Zerg you can do in Hawaii Now you can go to Hawaii. I'd have to spend I'd have to spend such a crazy amount of time

Oh in between flights the layover would have to be a month There's a house of blue before I'm ready to do another, isn't like fucking five more hours from LA? Yeah. Yeah, fuck that. That's why I've never been. It's too much flying. Yeah, it's too much flying.

Rubas like four. It's great. Yeah, Rubas like four. I got Jamaica's three or something, right? Little more than three. Yeah. I don't know. All that sounds much better.

It's the same thing. What am I going to see in? There they, the state of dog, the man. And who I say to dog the bounty hunter house. So that's also a little bit of history. The most attacked, the most places where people hide from dog the bounty hunter. He shows up, cuffs him, gives him a cigarette, talks about Jesus. The most goeth christs. Can't you believe his big huge-tittered wife died? There's a few years ago. Beth died. I know, man. I was cancer.

I never really watched it too much. Now Beth, though, Beth was one of those, I know, she was a mess, but she, I found her sexy because, and I know, I know all the negatives. You can say about Beth Chapman, but she reminded me of like, like a friend of my mom's or something, you know, when she was like, like a, like a biker friend of my mom's girlfriend who I'd be like, just bodacious to forget all the face and whatever.

I'm like, she got fat ass. Just when you're a little boy and you see woman parts big, you're like, wow, this is what it's all about. She looked like she belonged in mask. Part of the motorcycle gang in mask. Yeah, I've fucked a lot of Beth Chatton's in my life For sure Just damn just

Stuffed in the tiny shorts. Holy shit. Those are massive. Yeah, she had rock and tate's and then she started to lose a bunch of weight Before she died, I think and then then what you die for, huh? Do you know she died, Vov? Yeah, yeah, her titties dragged her for and her head on an anvil. Jacob, that's not funny. Come on. It was a joke, but come on.

Yeah, she was looking out of a window and stuck her head out. Lung can. Tits brought her out. Oh, it was lung cancer the whole time. She did seem like she. Well, you can't get a proper chest X, right? You know what I mean? If you can't get through those titties,

I gotta stop smoking, dude. Yeah, I have to stop smoking. My dad just got out of quadruple bypass and aortic aneurysm surgery. She it. Just got out of that. He is all right, which makes me think like, I can just keep smoking and then just get that surgery. He's all right. He's

my dad's tougher than I am. What? Did you you didn't quit? Did you? No, I still look cool doing it. Now he was on chance. I give me the whole rundown. He started up on Chantix. He goes, I'm doing it. I go nice. He goes to cigarettes or tasting gross. So it's like that's what it been doing less. And then a couple days after the show where I'm like, look, you come down to smoke. He goes the cigarettes are tasting gross. So it's like, that's what it been doing less. And then a couple of days after the show where I'm like, look, you coming down to smoke, he goes, no, no, I'm not gonna smoke. Did I actually, I go, it's fantastic. And then one day walking down the hallway, I said,

damn, Lou, I'm jealous, dude, you got a juicy ass. I have such a flat, just a flat need to tie, I, my belt, like my belts, I eventually change holes, like they get tighter, I get to use tighter and tighter holes because how tight I have to put them to stay on my flat ass, you know what I mean? And I was like, I'm jealous of your, you have a juicy ampolesse.

Yeah. And he took that as a fat insult. No, he took that as like like I was making a fat insult, but I was not. I was just, but he was taking it that way and I get that. That's very complimentary. It was very complimentary. Everyone else in the room knew it was complimentary.

And then we're, it's a weirdo though. Now he's very much a weirdo for sure, but it was not, this wasn't regular, Lou weirdo. He was at rate. He wanted to like, he wanted like punch something. He thought about leaving. I don't know what it is. He thought about leaving. I wanted to like he wanted like punch something he thought about leaving He thought about leaving I thought about it for days after I run my whole weekend. Yeah, so you stress smoked after that No, no, he just realized the shanticks he was taking was what was making him a so on edge

Is that what is it better to just smoke and show us your goddamn ass? We're doing a show show your ass. Yeah, that was that same day. That was Jacob saying like why won't you just give us a big cup of shakeups like the near-owned good fellows. He'll egg people on. Oh yeah, for sure. He loves egg.

But he doesn't want to be egg-dong. No, he does not. That's when it's not him. Yeah, of course. You know about we've told you about the odd thruple right getting these guys in a cab and it's the greatest idea I've ever heard of. Jacob says no

Yeah, because exactly that Jacob's like I won't be comfortable in it Like I'll be going exactly and I go but that's the entire reason why it's gonna be great. Don't be compensated, right Yes, but you'll be listen I've guaranteed money for him up front. I don't know, but me and Dan would totally fund this not even We don't need big Jim's in Big Jim Big Jim McLars says he gets the fucking out. He said it's what he's most hit up a buy from fans is odd thrupple happening Black Lou can't wait to do it. Yeah, who's all thumbs up over there? Get him out of the house Get him. Yeah, get him out of the house a little bit let him miss the family while he's just stoking too white idiots and to not stop fighting. Beautiful.

It's what a rhythm that would be. It's a dream. It's a dream gig. And take a bite. Just take a bite of a price. Is that what you think he's just holding out? He's got bargaining. He's got a bargaining chip. He's got a price, but I wanted to have some dignity. I don't want him to sit there when I have to look at him in the face and go how many of these hundo's you need me to peel off You pieces shit how many make you say yes to this free night dives. Yeah, how many I just bought you a pair of platinum flippers, dude Yeah, I got my swimshoes now. Let's go camp You me man's hole Maybe you me you man's hole. Let's make this happen DJ Lou will do it I wildly uncomfortable, but I'll still do it. Well, it's for the good of the show

I had not only that that would be Amazingly entertaining it'll make money it'll absolutely make money. It's we put it on patreon It'll make money it. It's, we put it on Patreon, it'll make tons of money. It's, they're going the fight. Not fist fight, they're not gonna fist fight. That's beauty. The beauty of it too is they will never come that we're someone's gonna stop them from blows. If you come in the blows.

Unless, lose on a shantyx, you talk about it as an SP and great. I don't have psychonic episodes anymore. Yeah, yeah, he's fine now. He's totally cool with his ass. In fact, he's gonna wear a thong most of the show. Yeah, yeah, he's fine now. He's totally cool with his ass. In fact, he's gonna wear a thong most of the show. Roy let people know it's a really trying to bump up

the Moli fans numbers. Damn, we should do a bonfire only fans and just take tasteful, not nudes. Doesn't have to be nude. You can do it every one. Calendar. Let's do bonfire foot fetish and just put all of our feet up.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Someone will slam to our feet. All in one row. Yeah. I've had a guy ask me in DMs over the years. Come on, one guy a lot, not for feet. Flat out like five grand, the suck your dick. Ten grand, the suck your dick.

Now, obviously it could be just a guy fucking around and joking, but they've come like in where the guy's like, there's not making a joke. Maybe he's waiting for me to say yes and then be like, you fucking queer, I knew there was a number. Right, yeah, yeah.

But I've never answered it. One, I don't wanna get my dick sucked or suck a dick. Is there a price sure? That guy didn't name it. He here from now he goes back 25, he goes, you're in the ballpark. Now here's the problem. Now there's no number I could ever say yes to because if there's that number someone's

gonna come be like, oh, I'll go, now I'm still saying no. I mean, let me see the cash, but. I'm listening. You guys, let me count that. It is mine. This mine if I do it. I'm not gonna do it to you, but like if I deposit this right now, I can hold it can my family leave with it They can leave with it and then I and then I'll do it

And then by the way Christine leaves with the bag and then comes back in five minutes later and laughing She's part of it to look. Oh, you fucking gonna do it this isn't real money carol comes out yeah once laughing at me your daughter's there you stupid idiot dad you were gonna suck a dick yuck what would these set up would it be three bedrooms or like an apartment now I like them in one bedroom and Black Lou has its own. You were taking the same bedroom? Bunk beds? No, I don't know. Does that be bunk beds?

But that would be fun. That would be fun. Listen. Claf, watch it, Jacob climbing to a bunk. I may, okay. I like the idea of one bedroom, but we throw the Greg and Marsha Brady, the curtain in between.

Ooh. So he used to get to watch a silhouette of black blue pound and it was phone. Here's a very important question. What's the smoking situation inside? Not inside. OK. Outside, but very accessible to Lou.

And I'm not going to argue as a smoker myself, if inside the bedroom has a door to the outside. Like a patio. And he just opens the door and kind of the bedroom has a door to the outside. I was just like a patio, a deck. And he just opens the door and kind of stays inside and smokes it out the door. I'm not gonna make a look about that. That's the first argument.

He can't go outside. And then also, it doesn't count his outside. Also, it's freezing. It's freezing inside now, because Lou's got a smoke. And Jacob Boyd, is he like to complain about the coldness and he really, really does. Dude, Jacob, I'm gonna be dressed in actual bear skins for most of the time he's gonna go native you could get cakey cakey go blankets to sponsor so many angles he's gonna be dripping with cakey go Jacob the only thing to kept him warm during the odd

threesome that'll be part of their marketing now exactly I think it's the world class idea I can't say enough I don't think everyone's on board Except for one he's gonna have a price. I think you can whittle them down. Yeah, I mean he wouldn't for the sake of the show even take a bite of lose Fucking puke salad or whatever the fuck that to the casserole. Yeah, I gotta be honest. I wouldn't have either I would not have either you wouldn't even try it dude I don't do tuna and especially with all those other fucking nasty ingredients. Oh, dude hot No way you're like hot tuna. Oh dude any form. You don't like tuna. I don't like tuna

I'll create a mistake no much of them I can't do either come on dude a regular A regular I was all in all ingredients bought at a gas station all ingredients purchase at a gas station I like that I pressed by that a little nauseous thinking about it. Yeah Uh, the oregano was the craziest thing I've ever was the ingredient But as a as a kids a loon I you know, liberally use a oregano not on mac and cheese. You don't Have everything. No, I might have I know you want to be cool to your friend Lou, but it would never make sense It would never make sense On tuna fish you never put it on

Fizzar It's crazy these are things you don't put a regular one. Well, he put a regular one pizza I'll tell you what I was watching him there versus food yesterday about a place in Brooklyn I want to go check out now With weenie and clam sauce they go oh Parsley a regular like air they're a regular makes total sense there I don't want to go check out now. Liguini and Clam sauce, they go, oh, partially, a reganome, there, there a reganome makes total sense there. But lose that Megan and Clam sauce and Liguini.

He's making tuna casserole with a reganome. Give me a quick rundown of what the ingredients were. Oh, it's quick. A reganome, tuna, cream of mushrooms. You don't lead with a reganome. No, a reganome sauce. That's not your base. It's mostly a reganome.

Yeah, you lined the pan. I brined it with a regano. No, a regano. That's not your base. It's mostly a regano. Yeah. You lined the pan. I brined it with a regano. Tuna, pasta, your choice of whatever you want. All right. Craft singles melted on top. Lou, is it physical? Lou, Lou, be honest.

Was it gas station brand? Was it like fucking shell of the sea tuna? Yeah. No, no, no, no. No, there's no gas station brand. Wasn't a first-hand. Was it like fucking shell of the sea tuna? Yeah There's no guest. There's a star-kissed. No, it was yeah, it was a local grocery store is brand for sure No, it was actually Kirkland. You get Kirkland tuna It was from the castation. Oh no, dude. No, but not made by shell. No, I know. It's like chicken to the sea though It's this it's not even sun-kissed or star-kissed It's it's literally fucking damn dude chicken to the sea though. It's not even sunkissed or starkissed. It's literally fucking damn dude.

Chicken to the sea with the fucking mermaid bitch. I'm gonna try. There's other ones. It's the Mexico brand. Let me tell you how garbage I am. Chicken to the sea I think is the only company now that makes still dark tuna in the oil. And I'll tell you what, you drain that that throw some mayo and relish in that dude that's

Gotta be terrible for you It's so good. It's the shittiest tuna you can get dark meat tuna. No one's even heard of it Everyone's like albacore may be white. They've heard like stark whiteers up but like no one ever had to start dark dark tuna in oil of all things do that oil that Mayo hits do I don't know some magic happens I don't know what you can eat that but I'll tell you it ain't good you think you're eating tuna and making our good choice but you're not that can it there's too many things I don't like on their own combined into that glob. Lou, Mayo, Lou's, Lou's heart, Lou's on the

ears, on the watch the hands. His shoulder hairs. I don't smoke when I make the tuna. His chin hairs. Yeah, couple of loose tobacco leaves from a Winston. Not even an eyelash drops into the mixture.

Now, dude, when he grades, he says that he is a crazy sterilized like kitchen area. I it's my one thing Like dude just because if there's something weird in there you guys will never let me down But I didn't realize that you would hate the tuna. I thought you would like the casserole. I don't know if I listen But I sterilized the area before I touched anything. No, I'm sterilized. What are we talking about a wipe down? before I touched anything. No, I'm sterilized. What are we talking about? A wipe down? Yeah, you were like... You brought that in thinking like they're gonna love this.

Yes, they're really gonna. Well, Dan loved it because he's white trash like me. Dan didn't love it. He didn't love it. He was just kidding. He was lying. No, I don't know what he was lying. He might have been being nice. No, no, because he finished his plate. He finished his first plate. He got up to your own dietary weird shit. Of course with your Five dipping sauces for every meal. You're not wrong. We all have a weird thing. We all have weird weird things. Christine Is a very difficult order. She's a very difficult. She is well way. Don't do that. Queen of substitutions for someone who worked in service a lot The Queen of substitutionsutions. Now, and also, Christine's got,

and I think I have some of this too. There's many a meal, for when you order out, especially which is a scary part, where the sauces don't come, you might as well just set me a box of human feces. I'm sorry, bitch. My biggest fear is nuggets on the road

and they don't send you any sauce. It's all served to me, I'll eat them eat them without sauce I'll eat a mozzarella stick plain I Prefer mozzarella sticks plain almost always If I do Marinarex is just there don't care if it's there or not, but you said me McDonald's chicken nuggets Oh, you can me and no sauce now it kills everything No, those things are just those might as well be tofu nuggets to get hot mustard sauce into my face. You can't lick a hot mustard sauce.

Get it baby. Although I will tell you when you're done with the hot mustard sauce, if no one's looking, your tongue does fit right inside of a hot mustard sauce and you just, you ride it down. You can send that thing, like a golden retriever. Gawansky. But don't let the world see you do that. That's hotel room when you're getting ready to like stab yourself retriever. Gawonsky. But don't let the world see you do that. No. That's hotel room when you're getting ready

to like stab yourself or something. My thing is more I don't want this certain thing on a sandwich something. Like if it came with mushrooms, I would just go, hey, can I just not have mushrooms on that? That's my thing. And then if delivery of it comes, that's ruining my meal.

I'll to throw it out. Cause I can't scrape a mushroom off. I know they'll get in there. And it'll fucking make me gag. Mushrooms you't scrape a mushroom off. I know they'll get in there. And it'll fucking make me gag. Mushrooms you can scrape off most things. I like mushrooms on pizza. You don't like them at all. Ah, it's a texture thing for me.

Now it's weird. Can you eat mushrooms? Like magic mushrooms? Yes, it's a different mentality. It's very weird because I can eat portabell. Every kind of mushroom, button mushrooms you can eat. I can eat. No.

No. Even eat some of them for most of them pretty raw on salads and stuff But like magic mushrooms the we call the hallucinogenic mushrooms. Yeah, I've thrown those up before Talk about texture and taste. I know it's for some reason. It's different mentally for me I just go I know where it's going. It's your reason. Yeah. Now I need those but now like now you get the pills and you swallow those Yeah, what do you get those dude? I got a guy We did I know could we get them again? We did those with you Cypress Hill. Yeah, yeah, Christine was in the stratosphere. She was somewhere else She thought she was in Cypress Hill. I had to leave her when a bucket hat

She wasn't saying in the memory. Yeah, we Yeah, she said she was super fly on this. I thought it was fun. Yeah, they're great. Yeah, they are great. It's like one pill. Get you right. I told you. I told you.

You got a baby step it. You got to go in one, see how you're feeling, and then maybe one halfway through the concert to get you through. It was great. They all, that certain batches are strong, right? I think from there, I took off. Yeah. It was great. They all, that certain batches are stronger. I think from there, I took off. Yeah, it's right, you did. Christine, as long as we did mushrooms of Coldplay though,

whatever that amount was, was right because she was just having so much fun. So happy seeing her have fun. The right balance goes a long way. Yeah, I don't know, never hits me that hard. I was just like smiling and enjoying myself, but Christine was. That's usually what they are. Christine found rhythms I didn't know. Never hits me that high. I was just like smiling and enjoying myself, but Christine was usually what they are. Christine found rhythms. I didn't know she had. I'm a dance. She always goes, I can dance and I go, you can't though, because in a decade of being

together, I've never watched it happen once I've danced significantly more than you in a show. In fact, what's your, what's your concert dance look like? What are you primarily doing? What, what body parts are moving to the concert? Okay the pot? It's a three-part motion. Hands and pockets, staring forward and nodding and malding the words. I don't make a scene, dude. I'm about there to make a scene. I can get into it. You know there's some air guitar coming up from over here.

Yeah, I know. I don't act it out at all, dude Well, we went to see tool the last time yeah on Molly and Justin jumped in front of us And stood right in front of us and for an hour and 93 I was there 93 minutes. He just went with the same Like thing he does this motion and then we found that's just Justin's hyped up dance move because that ending of Skankfest, right? Justin's doing the Justin dance. It's hold his dick with one hand and the other hand just goes Whatever the tempo of the song. It's just that over and over again. I do like a I do a upper-body lunge with like my hands down on my hips Kind of which is kind of a lunge like a like forward thing. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah air guitar kind of but I sometimes I don't even I I'll fucking throw drums in there too. You're head banging. I will never ever play an air drum kit in the thing

But I'm real big on fucking tapping down the thighs though like mom standing up Like I'll tap the drums down the thighs, but I'm not gonna be fucking like, you know, hitting simple crashes. I'm not doing a fucking Neil Perk, but I'm doing like, if there's a big crescendo coming up and I know it's gonna be like a big simple smash, I'll fucking throw a boom, like a drop the hammer kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I like to do it. I watch and I go, it must be so cool to cut loose like that. Every comedy jam I do, I go, dude, I'm gonna lead singer this time. And then I go up there and leave them like, I'm gonna mic stand and sing in one place. But every time I get up there in my mind, I'm like, I'm gonna go up there and really work this bitch. And I don't. You know, perform tank life.

I don't have lead singer energy, man. I want to. It's what I most envy as of, but I just can't do it. And if I do it, lead singer energy man. I want to it's what I most envious of But I just can't do it and if I do it, I feel immediately silly. That's what it is you feel silly Also the things that I want to do exactly. It's like dude put your foot up on the monitor I just lean into that and then you're like and then all my Judaism goes what if the monitor's not locked down You're gonna fall for what everyone's gonna see him gonna split your pants You're gonna fall forward. Everyone's gonna see him gonna split your pants I broke a can and I'm right. I'm gonna split my pants

I know I know it's gonna go forward. I'm gonna go no weird splig. Oh, how? I know between you and me There's so many there's way too many hilarious chubby guy accidents waiting to happen I've never fallen off a stage ever been honest a crickety stage though I've been on so many stages and I go, you might get the best show of your life tonight, unintentionally. The comedy seller used to do, I don't know if they still do, that summertime the cruise around the city.

No. It was like a three hour cruise around the city and they did comedy shows. Unnecessary to say the least. This whole thing, it was just a bad idea. But it was what it was, but you'd go do comedy and you were at the thing it was just a bad idea but it was what it was but you go Do comedy and you were to it was the front of the boat was where the comedy was on the I think the highest level Of the boat so when you get on stage it was like you to be a kid of fucking it was I've never had a more engaged core in my life. I mean

Everything's just completely vascular and shred as or hold yourself in place while this boat is rocking in the Hudson in the wake of like, you know, a fucking, might as well be in the bird's nest. It's insane. It was so bad and you get up there and you really have to, like, you try and tell jokes and like, yeah, keep your balance.

Keep your balance. It was a bad idea. Are you watching, speaking of comedy, are you watching a, H-E-T at all? America's got talent, do you watch it? I can't. H.E.T. at all? America's got talent. You watch it. I can't.

No. I still watch it. I don't care who's on it this season. There's a deaf comic this time. I'll say what if you're a handicapped comic get over to H.E.T. man, they just want to go right through. But I will say I do want to be fair to her when I we watch her comedy.

It's the first comic I think I've seen this season. And like she was she did pretty good. It's pretty funny. Did think I've seen this season like she Was she pretty good pretty funny. Okay. Did you watch it? Lou? No, I give it up. Oh, you gave up. But yeah, she was like our jokes were about being deaf pretty much but like one You're right. Well, you know also she's deaf and she speaks completely. Oh, she's got normal Yeah, but I think she's like because that death is tough to hear Sometimes and she doesn't really have that but she nice Yeah, no, you dude, but yeah, she did pretty good give her like a minute of her set go down to where she performs actually

She better than Jerry from facts of life Man, remember Jerry. Yeah, she was one of them like we had like lean in the listener. Jerry Blank. Was that your last name? Maybe. Jerry Blank faced. But I know. Maybe we're given the tools to be able to succeed here. Which is so I don't. She's not fully deaf.

There's no way she heard that little audience paw. You know, like she started, you know, you're right. You're right. You're right. And Christine looked as bitch up and see how deaf she is like I'm over here giving her all this credit this bitch might be like 18% you know what I mean though she put herself in India and when you're a great great great great great great fun with her or the native bitch she's not gonna have any hearing aid because and then also the vocal thing she speaks completely normal pretty normal but she but it's a little something.

But did you catch that little idiosyncrasy she did where somebody started to clap and she would knew to start over because she didn't want to step on it. Oh really? You know what's funny though? You know what though? I'll drove me fucking nuts is when it goes to the audience and some pretentious dildo did this.

Oh, she can see you. She can see you. She knows what claps look like. She, I can't hear that. I don't even know what that is. That's true. Like, Rooms cheering and she goes, I don't, sorry guys,

deaf, no idea what's happening right now. What is that? Is that what is standing, that's a standing ovation? I can't hear it. So I don't know. Are they all, are they angry at me? Cause they're all, they're all cheering and screaming and clapping.

Cool, you cock sucker. I'll tell you what, made me laugh. I'll give her some of her comedy. I'm language. And which that felt like a freebie, right? But I also majored in zookeeping, which seemed like a really fun thing at the time. But now I have a degree in American Sign Language and zoo keeping. And Coco, the Sign Language gorilla died like four years ago.

So what I'm saying is that comedy has to work out for me. Yeah, this has to go, guys, this has to go good. My safety net is dead. She's gone. That's not bad. I know, it's very sad. So I actually, I applied to work at the Coco Foundation when I was in college, and they rejected me because I have hearing loss. Hearing loss. That loss, so.

That's great. It's the big, the Coco Foundation. She knows they're booing. They told me it was a liability issue because with the gorilla bird to sneak up on me, I would not be able to hear it, which I can't say with any degree of certainty, but probably that seems true.

I feel like Sophie of regard loves everything. I feel like I'm being grateful of. Oh yeah, she is a blank stare, but he wouldn seems true. So, if you have a guy who loves everything. Oh, yeah, she is a blank stare, but he wouldn't be. She's obviously, she's a balloon in a dress. So, if you have a guy who loves everything, I love the... He's so cool! How? He told me to pick the card and then he wants the card.

Aye, aye, aye. She is all pretty in zero brain. She's dumb as shit. She tries Google right up. I love when this guy's bringing on stage, like we're going to throw fucking axes on either side of you. I'm OK.

Pay that into this. Yeah. Hearing people. We're hearing people. So I'm just going to toss this question out to the room. What are y'all going to do different if a gorilla sneaks up on you? We broke it up. You can't hear if a gorilla sneaks up on you. What are you going to do if a gorilla sneaking up on you? Yeah, exactly. If you could find the former NFL players, gospel group, because I would say America's

got talent is the widest, probably close to the widest slash sort of Asian audience on any TV show ever. And then these black NFL players, former NFL players, team up to sing gospel, and they do good. But the audience, you see the three black people that are at AGT because they're singing gospel. These ladies, did it make me laugh so hard? Oh, it's like,

but that's not. Yeah, and everybody else is just, you just see the top of their white heads, well, these black women are like, the audience, so pleased. Give it to them. ["Just Fall On The Brawl of the Boogie of Hell"] ["If you need a head, I'll need somebody to leave."

["I just mind my head." Wow, military crews can't wait singing for the love. ["I just need somebody to leave." ["I just mind my head." Well, mighty clue can't believe it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm gonna be the one that we miss already the lady who is like there's one bald black lady who is just busting it wide open

She is going for Yeah, we missed it but God damn it was funny how dude What was the thing and I'm sorry if you guys have talked about it on here before but you and I were doing Bobby's podcast and it was I almost feel bad bringing it up. It was what you and Isabella bonded over. It was the clip of the night of Tuesday. Oh, you got over this night, too. So we brought up on the show a lot. It's the funniest thing ever.

Because I couldn't fucking look at it. You had me crying. Yeah, fucking release the crack and dude. They just break open that cage in the back and all the audience come out at the same time. I call them oddies now I'm working on my call the Yeah, they fire them out and then people their air guitar and the songs don't have air guitar and it's maybe one of the funniest piece of Unapologetically exploitative television ever seen in my life just raise money for them you don't have to keep dragging them out and showing everybody like look at them they're

not biting each other it's a guess but they are air guitaring one thing he's conducting the whole thing like they leap just go in the back and let them fucking do what they do what kids backwards turning them backwards the other one was air guitaring non-stop dude like fucking fury in a Torieamus concert shredding to guitarist of piano music oh yeah then this rushing guy comes out this rushing guy comes out and brings his little girl who is such a sweet little girl and then her thing is to sing she sings death metal what they moved her on and they should have but it's I don't know if it's good or bad get to where where she starts saying oh hell yeah You go back to go back. Oh

Fuck dude song excited her dad's great He's like they've trained her since child is she what? Let's hear some volume on it. I think as long as we're here My name is good now dudes way darker than that Holy real estate in the god and we, blood into wine, take my body into bed. Holy real estate in the garden we fled, blood into wine, take my body instead. Yeah! It confused Sophie of her garden.

Oh, for sure. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. And one of them, they go like, can you move's coming out a little girl and she goes die The lyrics are amazing Born into blood Ground of God

Dude this fucking I know she says die now it's stand Stand to the left of me left me just like she's going Now that was the moment that last thing she's saying They're what's going on look at your face. She doesn't even care. She's crossing herself. Oh, yeah, that's always are gonna do dumb Mac. Oh you're familiar with the exes. Yeah, yeah Cornballs, but GT is not cranked out like...

He's be more fun like novelty acts. Oh is that fucking summer rain? Give me that again. F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F- I Little go drugs up she could be that. Yeah, that's right. You can be the next summer rain This kids got dancing the bikini at Harley-Davidson store God Damn summer rain. What happened there? Let's take our first break I know we got we have two commercials good job Jacob. I know you're out there night diving right now Not here to even let us know if a megalodons are real living possible thing right now But we'll get through it. We'll get through it

We're hanging out with Andy Fiori. Andy Fiori going to be in Pekipsi this week and everybody Friday and Saturday. Check him out, AndyFury.com for tickets. It's the bonfire. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!