The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Chasing Kelly with Michael Che

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

Saturday Night Live is returning and so did Michael Che to the Bonfire! Michael promised Bobby that he can deliver his crush- Kelly Clarkson to him. Bobby is so excited that he won't stop hounding Che about when he will meet the love of his life. | Michael reveals that he once had his life threatened by a stalker at SNL and didn't even know about it. A video of him trying to talk some sense to Kanye West went viral. Che discloses that Kanye once told him about the incest that later became the explicit song he put out this year. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Here's a funny thing. I wanted to wait for Che to come, but he's not coming. Right. He was supposed to come. Michael Chey was supposed to be here. Apparently his assistant. He was checking his phone, like he's waiting for a father to call.

Should I call him? Less than five minutes. We should wait for him to watch this. But, you know, like, we went to Wu-Tang this year. Yeah. Which was just incredible. Oh, we should definitely wait from to watch this. We got a way from to watch it, but it's a goodie.

Ghost Face Killer's son. Speaking of all this. Ghost Face Killer's son? Trans stuff. That kid that opens for you? No, no. Wait, you're talking about that chick who opens for you, dude? Ghostface Killer's son.

Ghostface Jr.? That hot chick you work with? What do they call it? He put out a disc track to his dad, her dad. Ghost penis. That's me the name. Ghost penis killer? I think she's called

Her name is Ghost something What is her name? Ghost Beasts Nice. Nice ghost What is it? It's called sexy ghost I think it's sweet face killer

Oh sweet face killer Is that a ghost face killer? Is that a ghost face killer? It's sweet face killer And we have to I mean dude it is It's crazy I would make my train's name

Fuck my face killer But I would put a comma in it Fuck my face killer Like I'm telling you Fuck my face killer Like you're a tough girl But people would say Do you like fuck my face, Killer?

Oh, you mean fuck my face, killer? Yeah, I like that. Thank you. I do like that. I got a lot of great names for fucking trans stuff. Give me one for trans rapper. For you? Yeah.

Who are we playing off of? Who's your favorite rapper? Whose name do we play off of? I mean, I do like Eminem. 50 cent would probably be another one. Dr. Dre. 50 cents. Oh, you know, EZE.

I love EZE. Love his raps. Is that all you love about him? What are you talking about the AIDS part? What are you doing? Did he die doing what you want to do so bad? He was... Having sex with somebody with AIDS.

He was assassinated. They shot him with a needleful in the AIDS. Is that what you believe? That's exactly what happens to him. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that. Is that true? Yeah.

What's his name? Shug Knight right in the arm. Nope. Yep. That's not true. It was, uh... Dude, it was a Will Smith. He had sex with guys.

It was DJ Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith took him out. Oh, had sex with guys. He didn't have sex with guys. I feel you know the more the older I get the more you want to have sex with guys the more I want to have sex with guys it's crazy it is nuts right when you get my age when you had sex with guys that's a great that'd be a great commercial sex with guys it's nuts this is one of the gay shows we've done yeah well I blame Paco 85% why do you got to be so beautiful sauntering in here yeah why do it be so damn beautiful this is a one chick

room, dude. Yep. And now Christine's irate with Paco because he really came in to stole her feminine thunder. But your best part about Paco's pussy? No period. That's true. Yeah. Just shit.

Whoa. Whoa. That's fucking rude. It is rude. Wow. What a mean person. Christine, what do you think so of your man pussy? Yeah. I call all assholes man pussies. Yeah, your stink wrinkle has poop in it. I'm right back on your wrist.

Oh, really? Calling all assholes man-pussies is hilarious. Everybody who's mad dirty pussy. That's a nice pussy. That's a nice pussy. Open your mask cheeks for me. Let me see that man pussy. What? See, look back.

Excuse? Especially when it looks like a little baby pussy. One has little, the lips, like the edges of it, the asshole looks like little wrinkly pussy lips. I do also think that my asshole is no longer a perfect circle and does kind of have like a vertical thing happening to it. Like a pussy. Let me see it. I don't know. Take a picture of it.

send it to me. I promise you I'll never send it to anybody. I believe you won't. I promise you I'll never make a shirt. I believe you won't. I promise you I'll never have a website dedicated to your asshole. All right. It's weird that you keep saying it but I believe you're not going to do those things. I will never ever in my life have hoodies made with your asshole on it. Yeah I mean why I didn't think that's something that was even in your mind. I'm not going to get my truck, my Ford Ranger wrapped in your asshole photograph. Yeah because it would be insane right to have a Their whole truck being asshole would be nuts. I'm not going to have, if the birds go to the Super Bowl this year, a plane flying with a banner of your asshole, bigj comedy.com with your asshole.

Well, thank you, because that would be really embarrassing for me. I love the Philadelphia Eagles. I will not do that. So you won't. I will not. I promise you, I will not pay for a million drones on Fourth of July to go up in the air and actually make the photo of your assail. Well, I'd have to assume that. That would be a little bit pricey.

It would be a little pricey, but I wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it? No, I would never ever. Even if you had a windfall of cash like you recently came into. 100% I would never do that. I would never get my own water made with a photo of your asshole on it. As like the brand. As the brand, yes.

Oh, wow. Yeah. You wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't. I'd send you the picture, great. If you're not going to do all those things. I'm not.

I swear to God. I believe you. I'm not. I'm not going to make it a tattoo at Skangfest that you can get of Jay Zay. asshole but Christine Christine never takes us long to bring back our white guests She's out there fucking falling over him Yeah she is

Take me away from all this mic on So you sure you can't do Skangfast You can just come in and out Make our own deals We'll fly in We'll put you up in the hotel that we're in We'll give you some of Bobby's money Good luck

Take my money He still wouldn't do it for my money I'm gonna send a beautiful trans to your room in the middle of the night in Skangfest. Me? Yeah. How dare you? Just life test.

What are you? How dare you give me my... Just life test. My, uh, make a wish dream. If I get cancer, that's going to be my... I'm dying. She goes, is this... Are you Robert?

Yes, I am. He goes, Jay sent me. And you're going to be like, this motherfucker. But you're going to open the door. He goes, listen, you can come in for a second. We can't do anything. I'm going to be like this. I'm going to be like, this motherfucker on.

I'm a piece of shit. I said, how fast could Bobby be talked? can be convinced he's not cheating with a trans. One, two, and, um, mm-hmm, uh-huh. There he is. Let's see you, buddy. What's up, buddy? Hi, buddy.

It always, what's up, brother? How are you, man? Michael Chee, in the building. I always forget how tall you are. Oh. You always, I see you on TV, it's short, but then when you come in, you're tall. Yeah, I'm usually sitting behind a desk party. How tall are you?

Like 6-2, probably. No, I meant in interviews, like standing interviews when I see you. I didn't mean on the show. What's the matter of here? Jay's already turned against me. He's sitting, stupid. I love you, buddy. How you doing?

Good, man. Did you hook up my deal? Yeah, yeah, she's actually on her way. She's literally on her way. I was going to surprise you. Michael, listen to me, seriously, bro. I know that we bust each other's balls and stuff. This is one thing he's pretty serious about.

Yeah, please do not joke about this. Wait, you think I'm joking. I do think you're joking. Okay. Buddy, because if you're going to do, if she's coming, I have a shirt. Then I'm not going to say anything else. But I have a shirt that says Mrs. Kelly Kelly that I would have worn. I have a whole outfit I was supposed to win.

I do. Okay. What the fuck? Are you going to, can we curse here? Yeah. Fuck yeah. All right, cool. I don't curse anyway, but.

You don't cry. Not really. Buddy, it is, it's, it's, don't lie. You're lying. You're lying. You're hurting me. She's literally across the street. I know she is.

But they're like in between something. she said she'll come over if, I don't know, what time does she say? Look at me. She's lying! She can't lie for you. She's a good person.

That's true. She's too good of a person to lie. She's too good. I mean, she did it. She did lie to my face. Yeah, that was awful. I really am. You should never have kids.

I am really everything you think a fat boy should be because as he's saying it, I'm completely buying in. Even when she said six and I go, it's 6.15? She's coming. She's coming. for Bobby

until he said yeah no she's not a good liar I was like oh the whole thing is fake son of a bitch the fans don't know what we're talking about I went up to Mike at the cellar and I was like please you know

and called me in like the middle of the morning you didn't have to fucking talk about the worst thing you can do to an alcoholic I was like I want you know Kelly Clarkson I need you to hook it up I just want to meet her I'm a big fan he's like I might be able to do that

he literally said I might be able to do that No, I, you can easily do that. You could, I can't. I could easily do that. But why don't you? I don't know. I have to. Okay, well.

There's got a lot of shit going on. Well, I have cancer. So there you go. All right, we'll see how bad it gets. And AIDS. His beard fell off. I have AIDS and cancer. So whatever.

Cancer AIDS? The worst kind? I haven't been here forever, man. This is like, I don't even think it was in the, room last one last one i know look what dan looks like now hey i lost my hair and my voices what the fuck happened to dan am i right i lost my hair and my voices hey yeah man i got lost a yeah michael jays and uh and he wants kelly clucks and i leave i leave because i can't watch it anymore i go i can't watch him fall pieces like this

i just want to meet kelly clocks and uh slim jim Well, I'll tell you what, Bobby, you did a good thing. You have at least the audacity, the balls, the gumption, if you will, to walk up to Michael Chey and ask for such a big ask like that. That's because that's why I'm not famous. Here's just things like that. Maybe. No, I don't think that's true. It's my jokes.

The lottery. But I'll tell you, poor Michael is involved in like a drama in my life that came on very suddenly. I wasn't expecting it to be a thing No, don't you dare This isn't your fault No, this is nothing that's your fault at all So you did nothing wrong You have your shot to talk about Kelly Clarkson

And now you didn't I did everything wrong. Okay I did everything wrong here Christine you know I'm about to tell them right Is this the players? No no no no This is not players at all This was

I recently got a new car Nice I bought a truck Nice I bought a truck We bought a truck Christine This is where she's gonna take her a little

a fucking thing on this mentioned about me being a comic when I was not there at the dealership she went first looked at the car came, told them I was a comedian okay she did that so then they start looking in my comedy so by time I go in there to get this truck

it's on there yes they're talking they wanted a thousand questions and it's fine it's fine they're all nice it's absolutely fine that's a nightmare and in conversations you gotta have with somebody while you're going through 7000 pieces of paper or whatever

the guy goes he goes I love comedy. He's like Saturday Night Live's been my it's been my dream to go to that and he gives me all the things. He had to retire from being a cop cancer. He now sells cars. He's almost like he seems

slow. He almost seems slow-brained he almost seemed like silly in his like he just love and he goes... Slow-brained? Yeah. I mean not super helpful, kind of hard to deal with. It's just odd but he's nice enough and he just keeps how much he loves S&L. I've tried to go so many times. I go, oh, you should go. It's cool. So I've gone like twice now. It's really neat to see how they do the thing. He goes, really? I go, yeah,

I've been doing comedy forever, so it's like I know Michael and stuff. And he goes, you know my, he goes, do you think right away? You can get me, like, because I've tried so many times for the lottery to get tickets I can never again. I go, we could probably get you in at some point. In such, I was smoking a cigarette. Wow. It was, it was outside, I was smoking a cigarette, and is one of those like, yeah, I could probably figure something. Figuring like, we'll get the car, whatever. Then we ended up leasing another car. Because Christina's a car from the same fucking place.

And this guy has not once been on the phone, seen me, asked, reached out, tell me if I can complete a survey for him where he has to go, season 51, right? Remember, season 51? And we've kicked it down the road. Christine was actually mad at me. I was mad at him. I said, I don't know why you do that.

I go, do you know how pressure it? I go, that's like, you're giving that up for strangers? I'm like, we didn't even know this guy. It wasn't even like a helpful salesperson. I didn't say you got to put them up front. I go, I'm like, you ask them. I'm like, I tell people I give them the charity all the time. I shouldn't say it on the air, but I usually say I give my tickets to charity.

So that way they can't ask for it later. But I even went to him and I go, listen, Jay was like missing. I go, that's like a friend's thing. It's not. I go, we can't really get those tickets. He still kept bringing it up. They don't care. I don't think they know that there's like 300 tickets and everybody gets two.

And then regular people sleep outside for them. It's like, it's an impossible ticket. You need to give this guy two tickets. Michael, this is why we've asked you here today. You don't have to give him two tickets at all. Two tickets. No, I've... And I don't want them to count against my tickets.

If I were to give him tickets, I would never say it here because then we'd, like, definitely... Open the floodgates? No, you already gave those to the charity. Yeah, I get them to charity. This is the beginning of the documentary of the guy who kills Mike at SNL because you got him fucking tickets. Well, his name's Glenn. Keep an eye out.

There was a guy that wanted to kill me at Nuss & Al before, but I hope they found him. They didn't tell me it was happening, to be honest, actually. What do you mean? It was years ago. Well, there's this Jamaican lady that's always at the security gate, like, when you walk through the turnstiles or whatever. And she's the nicest lady. Every time I see her, it's just like a hello relationship, but it's been like five years. She's like the sweetest lady I see her every Saturday.

And one Saturday, I had my headphones in, and I'm walking by. And I don't need to take them out because we just say hi to each other. It's not like, you know, we have cousins. But I can see that she's still kind of talking to me. And I took my butt out. And I'm like, what are you saying? She was like, I was saying, we're going to catch that guy. Don't you worry about it?

And I'm like, what guy? She was like, the guy, so he's going to kill you. He's coming. They gave us, like, a bulletin about it. And she just shows me all these papers. They have, like, his pictures, his tweets. He's like, this guy's coming. And I was like, no one mentioned it at all.

I'm about to go in there. They've been looking for him for like a week. And then no one told me about it after that. So maybe they called him. Oh, it was like a while ago? This was like... Why did he want to kill you? I don't...

What do you do? Just a joke? Yeah, people are crazy. Yeah, Bobby thought he was... Did he have a good reason? I mean, there might be a reason. I stole this bike and a knife break. No, no.

I was like... Jay, I mean, if you asked yourself, what did you do to this guy? Before we start just pointing fingers everywhere. What was I wearing? victim blaming Bob I love that what'd you do

piss this guy off so much man how'd you fuck up he might have a good reason no it was like it was like at that time when we were getting a lot of like political heat right like they had changed the security in the building and everything

like it's kind of crazy now you don't fuck around with the train anymore you can't do any of that I told you said the trainees anymore well no those days are over but just you know we can make Paco a great yeah let me say something real quick what the fuck is going on

We're going to spend the money to make Paco a tranny for this year. He's going to be transitioned to a beautiful Filipino woman, and he's going to go on the row with me. But you could take him on the road with you if you want. I'm with it. Should you follow the Eddie Murphy tracked? Cut that out. Corporate fucking Che's in the house.

Hey, you. Hey. Dude, how about that fucking viral video coming up from years ago? You and Kanye was. It was all over the World Star stuff. That's what I thought you were going to talk about. I was like, oh, God. No, well, I mean, it was so long.

I don't even remember it. And I'm like, I'm terrified to watch it. But that's what's fucking, like, dope about the whole thing is that it's so, you're not giving him a talking to or anything. I don't even want to present it like is that, but like, you're kind of like, what do you? It's just like it's two adults talking where it was kind of neat to see you that young on the show. Kind of like remove, like, it was one year ago.

It was a year ago? You're using the coolest words ever to dress somebody. down. You were you saying shit I was like I don't know what that means but I know what it means. Well no you know guys. What did you say why you come? I don't know but he won't watch it again. I won't watch it. I swear I won't watch it but

it's not bad. It's like I've heard it's not bad but it's just like it was like a very stressful week that whole week so it was like that wasn't just old. Pete was stealing his wife it was a crazy week. I think that was way before that up on I was thinking. He smelled it coming though. Yeah.

Yeah, it might have been some magic in the air. It is funny. He goes, Kanye, we love you. You're saying to the video. He goes, sure, we destroyed your family here in some ways, some would say. We've challenged your manhood. We mock you every week. No, it's awesome what you did.

He was, uh, no, it was just like a crazy. Put it this way. To give you an idea of how crazy that week was, he mentioned, you know, like that song, like I suck my cousin's dick and all that. Sure. He mentioned that. He said that. week and I completely forgot until the

song came out because that's how much shit was going on like I was like oh that's right he did tell me something's got a minute like that's how crazy that week was it was like nuts do he tell it to or he goes hey is this a good lyric for a song I suck my cousin's dick he said it

like I got this premise for a song no it was kind of very like matter of fact actually where we didn't know if he meant it or not so he just said what you guys went for lunch he goes not my cousin's dick that's salty that's too salty we're like hey man how you doing today

I suck my cousin's dick no he said what did you say after he said he sucked what did you do I was he said so much

that it didn't even register I said my cousin's dick didn't register I'm telling you I suck my cousin's dick I punched a dolphin I built my own house then I destroyed it

this was like 40 minutes into a five minute discussion and it just came out I suck my cousin's It was like a long, like he holds court. Like, he holds court. Right. He'll just be talking after a while.

You're like, I had to get out of here. And then I suck my cousin's dick came out and that was at your cue. And then more shit came out. More shit about his cousin? More other shit. Did he suck other people's dicks? I don't know. Come on, dude.

You know. I don't know. Give us an exclusive. I don't know. I try not to. If you say it in auto tune, it's different. It's okay. I suck my.

He blew chains. No, he was. It was definitely off key when he said. that was good auto tune by the way thank you I love it's just one line in a manic episode yeah no it was a lot

that week was like extremely stressful it was like a crazy crazy week so that's why it's just like was he the host was the music guest no he was the musical guest I forget who I think Adam Driver was the host

but you know you know halfway through like he was scared of you like you no I don't think he was scared him he went from because Kanye's usually aggressive but you came at him with this stern, confident

Michael Chee, which I've never seen. I'm sorry. Did that come out wrong? I suck my cousin's dick. I just want to let you know that. He goes, I don't know. Someone about your face wants me to let you know. I also suck my cousin's dick.

I suck my third cousin's dick. Paco, if you suck your cousin's dick, now's the time, buddy. The guy's guy's here. Get it out. He might have been kind of like worried, like, oh man, I did tell this guy I sucked my cousin's dick.

I didn't want to get him upset. You didn't react the way he thought When you said it No, no, no, no, he's got too many secrets No, no, no, I don't know He had to make a song I was just the case And you said you haven't watched it

At all since that, so it's like, it's interesting It's not, I don't think it is like a you Reprimanding him, really As a way, it's always more impressive Was how long time famous he has been And how short of a time At the time it was for you That you were like just,

It was not like a famous, more famous thing You were just going like, what are you doing, man? Like, what do you? I was just curious people. And you're saying, we love you here. And like, I don't know while you're doing this. I was, I don't know how much they show, but, like, I was actually just curious.

Like, I was literally like, what's going on, man? Like, why would you do that? Yeah. Because I remember, like, everybody was, we had, we were trying so hard to accommodate him. So, I think he was just kind of, like, sometimes. Was that when he came on at the end? Is that what it was? Yeah, he came out of the end. I think it was just like everybody

was, like, everybody was trying so hard because we were kind of like, we knew that he was sort of, you know, it didn't seem like he was his normal self. Because he'd been to show a million times so it seemed like he was kind of not behaving like himself so we were just like what's going on like he sucked his cousin's dick we were trying very hard and then and then when that happened and he made it seem like we was bullying him and I was like

why would you say that like what happened that you felt that yeah it was just more that it wasn't people are making it something but was that the last time you talked to him or you talked to him no actually and that's another reason I don't really like talking about because the next time I saw him was years later I remember Yays later Yays later

it was the Eddie Murphy show and like every black person in Hollywood was at this show like literally it was crazy it was like people I never came to Eddie Murphy like oh the show he came back for when he hosted the Christmas episode

and I remember I was I had like a lot in that show and I was like running around crazy and people were just like in my dressing room kind of using it as their green room and like I couldn't I had no place really like go and I'm walking through the hallway and he's coming out the elevator

bay and as soon as he sees me goes I owe you an apology and like I hadn't seen him in years I didn't even know if he remembered that that happened because he was saying so much shit and he was like oh you an apology and we like talked and I was like I never like he was like I'm sorry I'm sorry hey he never told me about me he said what if it wasn't even because he wanted people know he goes because I'm writing a song about it and I really don't want it out there this was years ago I can't believe it took him this long to get a song about it, honestly. He talked about it a few times, because I remember even

telling somebody, I was like, you know. Everything rhymes with cousin's dick. Wow. Yeah. You make me sick? Yeah. Sick, lick. That's a lot of, there's a lot of rhymes in there. I went hiking got out of a tick. Tick. The whole documentary is weird.

I guess some guy just followed him around for like six years and is now putting out footage. It doesn't really seem authorized or anything. Yeah, that was the first thing. I was like, How would they even get permission for that? Because taping at SNL, they won't let me do it. So I'm like, how are you guys able to do that?

Oh, really? You can't, like, film either on your phone or anything? I mean, it has to go through them. They're very strict about it. You can't be a full influencer? Like Bobby. Bobby's mad me because I didn't take a picture of a homeless woman pissing between two cars today.

He says it's going to be on an influencer. I don't think to pull my phone out. He's right. He's not wrong. He walked by a crowd of people. A woman literally spread her ass cheeks and pissed. Spread her ass cheeks. She spread between...

All I saw was her ass cheeks, hands, asshole, disgusting vagina and a thick flow of piss. In that angle, from that angle. She took a piss like a Clydesdale. And he could have got that video and brought it into the show and he panicked and didn't.

It's not a panic. I want to be rude. She's being rude. In my mind, I was like, oh, it's not cool to take a picture or this lady doing this one. But she is doing it out there for all of us to see.

Yeah, it's like a UFO. dude get the photo you know how many times you get a chance to get a woman pissing in daylight I come from the spoken word you know what it's New York you'll definitely you'll get another shot a few times maybe yeah that's true I come from the spoken word

so I think it's always like I kind of watch it everything so then I can go oh I'm gonna go tell everybody about not thinking that now you can just fucking like take pictures or here's a video here's exactly what I saw him I was like this happened this just happened are you guys off now right yeah we're we're off till I think in a week or two

Can I ask you a question? Are you glad that you're off during all this fucked up Charlie Kirk stuff so you don't have to come up with some angle to make it fun? Or are you like, fuck, I wish we were back. No, it's neither. It's not even like, I wish we were back or off. It's going to be something anyway. It's unavoidable. The thing is, it's like, in a week, it's nothing again.

You know what I mean? Like in a week, it's like a whole, like if you would have went all in on Kimmel and then he gets this job back literally three days later. And it's like, well, now that's, it's like, it becomes like an exhaustion thing. It's going to, it's going to, something's going on at that point. You guys got to come up with it every week, which is the only other show that does that was South Park. But how about South Park this week? They bailed. For the first time was like, well, they, they, they're doing every two weeks now.

But I thought that was on purpose. I thought it was schedule was that. But I heard every time it's been two weeks is because they're not delivering it in time for, like, the Wednesday thing. That's hard to do, man. It's extremely hard. But I'm surprised they still hold themselves in the stuff. standard but it's also weird that for the first time they're just doing every time it doesn't come out they just go ah sorry yeah we weren't done two more weeks and then they just put it out

whenever they put it out power i think that's the to me the best business model and show business going right now what south park got going is i mean they earned it what they like 30 years now plus they have fucking money forever they have fuck you money forever and people trust them like it's is it funny literally whatever they want it's like almost like a basketball player it's uh was the Sixers just did, you give these max contracts to people at the end of their career. They've already got bottomless money and then they just work at a deal.

Pride doesn't even hit them like thunder when they go $1.5 billion. They're like, that adds up. It makes sense. Yeah. But also like for them the reason why I think it's worth it is because they're like the last show. I think S&L is too in a way of

people are excited to see what they're going to do about the thing. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of TV on, but People are like, I want to hear, if they're doing this, I want to see what you do about. Even if it's bad, I want to know that it's bad. I want to make fun of it for being bad. Like, whatever it is, they want to, they care about it in a way. Have you seen, like, breaks from people trying to work in like that, like, that, like, we have a week to think of the best jokes and blah, blah, blah.

You've seen people just, like, crack under that pressure? Well, Friday is daunting. Friday's rough. Friday's rough. Especially since, I mean, not to heart, but since the Trump cycle, it was like, it used to be, we would have. have a cold we write our cold open on monday or tuesday and then by wednesday we read it by thursday we start producing it now we write our cold open like usually friday night in the middle of the night sometimes sometimes we don't even have it until saturday morning nobody's seen it

until the table like you guys doing a lot of it and and i think south park probably works in a similar way that's what i'm saying like sometimes we shouldn't be we're not ready to be on air either but we don't have a choice you know what i mean like i get it being a boss to like writing is such a weird things like a time state i'm so the opposite of that i'm not a good like i don't think people so to go into a room and be like hey man we got about 30 minutes we got to come up with something good for something that seems so pressure that i would just like i wouldn't think funny in that i don't think people know how fast this show is made and how it's made and even if you see it it's unbelievable like that we get a show on it and you guys don't get to use coke and drugs like

they used to back in the day no we don't officer what the fuck you're talking about is crazy ronnie over there still selling coke to everybody you guys aren't using coke anymore right bobby's always wearing a wire his glasses are always meta no boston bob we do not speaking to my glasses boston bob listen you coxac i heard you doing coke up in that fucking chatteau up there bobby it looks like you've got some disco shit on you with those glasses departed bob who who who came up with the my favorite thing every year is when you guys write each other's jokes. It's one of my favorite things on SNL, ever.

It's so fucking funny just seeing you. Who came up with that idea? I don't like interview, Bobby. I don't like, you know, who comes up with? How does the magic mate? This is not Bobby, guys. This is not how he acts. Listen, listen, you cocksucker.

Answer the question. And when the fuck is Kelly coming in here? I'm seriously. I'll call you all night. He's not going to feed her to you, Bobby. You said you're going to hook it up. You're going to make her uncomfortable. I want to make it like a special thing.

You're going to make her uncomfortable. I'm going to make it cool. But can I be ready? No. No, I don't. She's going to visit you. She's going to surprise you like a make-a-wish kid somewhere. I love that.

Can I give you my address? Send her up to where I live. I want so bad. I'm a giant check for you. Listen, if you just have Kelly Clarkson show up to a place with Bobby, it's going to be like when a Down syndrome kid sees his father come home from war. Wait, what? You know, they're so innocent and happy When their dad comes back from the war

They're not down syndrome kid, you're a piece of shit Yeah, I think you're describing dogs, man You don't think a Down syndrome kid Doesn't have a father who's in the military That's when you go to the military To not take care of this Down syndrome kid It's a regular kid that gets emotional What do you mean regular?

They're all regular The Down syndrome kid goes, yay! He's just happy. You know what, dude, that would be fucked up If that wasn't a dead on impression of every Down syndrome person I've ever met God. That was just Jim Florentine's impression

Yay! Hey, did you see Ghost Face Killer's son? Daughter? Sweet face killer? The rap? Did you see it?

You saw it? I don't know what you're talking about. Come on, dude. You don't do drugs. You didn't see this. Dude, you see it. I'm off the grid. Come on, dude.

I got a flip phone. Buddy, I'm going to say this. I haven't seen it yet. It's not bad. It's actually pretty good. I mean, she has his face. It's wild. You got to see it.

Play it. She has, like, his literal face. It's crazy. It's sweet face killer. Oh, Tony Stark. Immediately. Wait, is it, is it daughter or son?

Because it says ghost face killer's son. It's daughter. This is on a hip-hop website. But sometimes people are just like, I had dressed up like a woman, but I'm not a woman. I don't know. Oh, God. Actually, I haven't, I don't know.

I'm just saying it, guys. That was fantastic. That was really good. I love it. I love it. You're protecting everybody. Good for you. You asked the question.

No, I like that. What is it? It's not. It's not. Great question. Good question, Chair. What the fuck is ghost face killer's child? What is that on the TV right now?

That is the best political way to say it. You go, I don't know what the fuck that is. Tell me what to call you because I don't know what the fuck you are. Good job, Chey. You look like ghost face killer, but you got tits. Man. Doesn't have tits. I really miss working on network television.

Is this the one? What does she do it? Skanks never got it is. Play the fucking video. What are you doing? I'm playing the YouTube video. Also, sweet face killers. Here we go.

Ready? Make it big. That's what she said. Nice. That's what he said. Crank it, crank it. All right. Oh, man.

I'm uncomfortable with this. Come on. Look, look. They haven't spoken in a decade. Hmm. I thought this was Tom Hanks. son. This sounds like Chet Hanks.

Here we go. You can't hear it? I know. I think I've heard it once or twice. No, no, no, no. No, I got it. Play it over the sound, Lou. I got it.

Jay, he's faking it. I got it. He's faking it. He's faking it. That is. I got it's, it's, sure, sure, sure. Is this his first kid with, it's like Rizz's.

He's not even listening to it. Sister or something, right? I don't know. I don't watch the show. You didn't watch Mutein American Saga? It's not that bad, dude. It's actually not that bad. It was pretty good.

Why would it be? How would it be bad? Like, it's... Yeah, it looks just like him. Clearly, probably very talented and rat. Right. It sounded a lot like him, too. Wow, I mean, you know.

It looked and sounded a lot like a ghost face. It's uncanny. Except for the lyrics. The lyrics were a little different than Ghostface Killers. What were the lyrics? I didn't really history. Listen, was that not old kung fu stuff?

No, that was not old kung. That was a... Sving, shing. You must think thirst before you blow a guy in a bathroom. Doom, do, do, do... The finish of my asshole. Why did I do this?

Enter the men's room. I could just win into the season. Unshave. Unshaved. What the hell are you talking about? I say shave this weekend, dude. Shave for it. He loves to shave.

Infinite cold I listen Listen Mike Before we wrap it's fun Are we rapping No we gotta wrap it up very soon This was awesome It was awesome

It was short because you came in late But the thing is I mean you really disrespected us today But the thing You got so much on your notes And I'm looking all that stuff You disrespected you She made her weight outside too

It's you know I mean I know you're famous But you could have been here a little on time But whatever I mean you're off the year That all's gonna end after this show air Let me ask you question I'm serious Look at me

Look at me, look at me, Mike. Just look at me, Mike. Just look at me. Yeah. Are you going to make this happen? I'm going to make it happen, Bob. I appreciate it. Is it after 6 o'clock? I don't want to be in the, I don't want to be in the audience.

She's probably going to come tonight. I don't want to be in the audience. I don't want you to get me, I want to, hey, I want to, hey, I want to, hey, I want to, hey. What if she came here? Buddy, yes. All right, I'll say. What if she's outside right now? What are you talking about?

Like, what would you say if you could talk to her right now? I'd be like, Kelly, I love you since you've been gone. That sucks, man. All right, don't do that. I'll change that. She's going to help me out. I'm going to give you time to prepare. While he's preparing, let's just say, if you could not forget about Glenn over Teterboro, Dodge, Jeep, Ram.

Oh. Coming up for season 51. That's right. I may have wrote some checks with my mouth that Chase's got a cat. We just got Chey in here just to give us stuff. Oh, man. Glenn, please do not DM me, Glenn. Don't check those.

Hey, it's Glenn from Teeterborough. He's so excited. Season 51 premieres next Saturday, October 4th, 11.30 p.m. I'll be watching. I always do. Do you really? You know I do. Oh, nice. You have come to the show. But I also message you through the year usually with something that's, if I have questions.

or anything. Anytime something really funny happens, so like twice a year, Jay will text me. Yeah, I'm fucking hilarious. I've never been to the show. Wow. Oh, this is where Kelly Clarkson. You want to see Bobby get a boner in his chair? No, right? Absolutely. Watch Kelly Clarkson

wink at him. Not an emotional boner. No, like an emotional. A bone in the heart. Christine, if you could. Yeah, make sure you check out Jay B. Where is it? BGcom.B.B.J.commonty.com.com. BigJcom.com, punchup.orgia and YouTube.com and go to punchup.com slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. We'll be back tomorrow. We have more. We have more. Oh, my God. This is my, right here. Mike.

Look, turn it up in the studio. Let him hear. Fuck. That wink. Oh, did you see it? Yeah. Play it again. Yeah, no, I love Kelly. She's very lovely. Come on, dude. She's actually super cool in person. I know. Like, I introduce her to my cousin, who's kind of a fan. What? I'm kidding. What? Oh shit, Chee, why you're here?

Why you're here? Not just Glenn, but Lewis Chegobos would like me to lock you in for story wars also over here. One story wars. I've never been asked to do that. I would love it. Jay, don't make me go back to our texts. Is that true? Yes.

I'm going, I'm going, hey, first of it was like, you want to do Story Wars? I've sent long descriptions of what Story Wars is. I'll say, you'll think, if you want. You'll love it. We'll get you out there for it. Yeah, get on the story was it. Come up to the tiny house this summer. And we'll catch you.

Oh, yo, that is true, though. We have to do this. And you've got to get to Squam Lake with Black Lou. Black Lou. And you're going to, look at us, somewhere crazy with Parkway. Can I just say something? He said, I will come up to Squam Lake. I actually went, you will?

Look at my head. We don't live that far from each other. We don't. We live right around the Chicago. We also got a new neighbor coming, too. Really? I can't say who, though. Is it?

Kelly Clarkson. I can't say who. It's official. Ghostface killer's son? Begins with a K. Kelly Clarkson? No. Kim Kardashian.

Finally. I knew it. Casey, Kim Kardashian. Che was waiting to make his move. Casey in the Sunshine Band? He said Pete Davidson, he warm them up for me, and then I'm coming in the headline. Casey, Kim Kardashian.

All right. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Until then, everybody, crackle, crackle.