The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Cold Clam Sauce (feat. Paul Virzi)

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Talking with Paul Virzi about Italian food leads to everyone doing their best Sebastian impressions!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bond Fire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. One more run and there's no wrong road Dancing to a different drug Can't you see what's going on? Deep inside your heart

Always searching for the real thing But living like it's far away Just leave all the memories just yesterday You're holding the key and you believe It shines with you, shine a light on me You're all the magic, you're right where I wanna be You're all stupid, wanna be And I'll be free To carry on But keep the spirit alive

Hold it on Ooh We'll be dead soon And I Smiling with the rising sun Living like we've never been on Going all the way Oh, reaching out to me to change it Touching the shining sky So bad. What?

I forgot. I had the best potato chip in the world in my bag. Maui onion. Maui onion from Deep River is... You want to try one? No, I'm done if you open that yeah, you're gonna set off DJ Lou and Jacob into their Cavalcade of smell problems. Why? Good smell sweet Maui onion sweet Maui onion if you're not eating it. It's a smell. It's a choice

It's a choice. I don't give a sh- I can't down best potato chip in the world Hands down. I'm sorry Bobby the cheddar the cheddar horse radish hers from Philadelphia Or wall wall to the original Dorito the original Dorito. I use the fucking well first of all We're talking about chips. Yeah Dorito isn't a chip the choreo is a fucking alien Things tortilla chip. It's it's a chip. It's not a potato chip. No, I wouldn't compare like a... Oh, you're talking potato chip, okay. Potato chip, yeah. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the your but no it's a newer flavor in there. Flaming chip. No, no, no, it's like in the 10 years old, the purple bag, the sweet and spicy.

Okay. Is there best? Dorito is a fucking just a ghetto chip. What? It's a ghetto chip. I'm a ghetto-ass motherfucker. A potato chip is America. Yeah.

It's America Potato chips Was one of the first Agricultural products that America produced in Maine One month a year they take on a month In Ireland I mean dude. Can you just try one? We're two I've had I bought those 7,000 times. You just try one? We're two. I've bought those 7,000 times. Can you just try one? I know what they are.

Jacob's gonna, you're trying to get Jacob made of me again. Why is he on the, you're gonna be mad because of this? Because crunchy one on the microphone. Yeah, you don't want to crunch. He, he, he, he, he. We'll start throwing spin kicks at the fog glass. You know what, Jacob? You're right.

You're right. I apologize. When you're right, you're right, and when you guys are wrong, you're wrong. Like in, not printing us out topic sheets today that's wrong wait a minute wait we have that no we don't yeah well not in front of us in the show's head for everybody this is the bonfire we're getting together and Paul so sorry you as came in on embarrassing day for us I know worries what's up guys

Paul's gonna be at the Grammar City Theater in New York City for New Year's Eve everybody yes what an awesome venue on an awesome night he's also gonna be What's up guys? Pulse could be the Grammar's Theater in New York City for New Year's Eve. Everybody. Yes. What an awesome venue and an awesome night. He's also going to be Dr. Guvini's New Jersey January 27th through the 28th. And he's going to be, it's 27th and 28th Christine through.

We are just falling off the tracks. And he'll be taping, wow. And he's going to be taping a special at the den in Chicago on February 24th get tickets for all of his dates at Paul Versey dot Carman is the hilarious Paul Versey everybody. Hi buddy. Hey buddy. Thanks for having me. I haven't seen Jay in a minute man. Good to see you Yeah, absolutely we see each other a lot. We do a podcast together. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to pick I'm going to pick no no no, Jason don't bring it up. Okay, okay. Not on this show. Not on the show. It's not a lot of it. He's had too much.

I'm not a promotion machine for you. What do you think this is? It's bad brand and good. Now, a bone-to-pick is a great show. And also, unlike this, the technology to be able to make video of it. Which makes things easier to promote there for we're going to get we're gonna have video we're gonna give video this is not your

fault oh dude look last hour the entire week of broadcast we've got our top of you. Yep you get one for Paul? Oh here you go Paul that's for you. I don't know. Don't give Paul a topic sheet. That's crazy. The first even one. God damn it. Paul the cruise fall in a park. They all miss soda. Soda came in this week. You got them all razzed up. Yeah, it feels like you guys are just gonna put shit into a manila folder. I'll leave. I've done it. It's over. It thought they thought when Dan came back in, they thought this was him coming to say that mom and dad are getting back together. And he's like, no, I'm just joking about it. Pick up some of my CDs. I left.

You got my big head tied in the monster's CD. A collective soul, that's mine too. You can keep the counting crows. Mm. Yeah. Woo-ee, woo-ee. How you doing, buddy? Good, how are you, man?

I'm good. What's going on? You got your chain out, your pimping tonight. You know, the chain's part of me. I don't care around Rockefeller Center, do you just gotta let him know he's Italian. You know that, you know, it changed part of me. I know. Walk around Rockefeller Center. Do you just gotta let him know he's Italian? You know that you know the Italians invented the tree at the Rockefeller Center. That was the Italians, the immigrants.

I think you're gonna start giving the speech from true romance. You know the Italian. If you know, Sicilian started out with one hair blue eyes. It's funny. The Sicilians had a tree up their ass. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great.

That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great.

That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great.

That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great. for you to get off your phone, you're a cox. You're a cox. When you text in Dan, he's doing it again. Here he goes again. There he goes again. Was the Rockefeller tree really from a town? Was it like the Italians really start

to think you just said that? He hasn't said mentioning you all day long. Dude, they really won't stop talking about you, Dan. That can't be a true thing about Rockefeller, so. No, I just pulled it up. It is. Listen, Italians. I'm 99% sure it's true.

No, it is. I just had a really good time. The convention worker was like, you know what this needs? No, we need a fucking tree. Down there, we'll push some decorations. No, this square sucks. We need a fucking tree. Ma, can we borrow some of those little ribbons?

You guys are walking a thin line about getting sued for copyright from Sebastian Manescalco right now Because if you think you're gonna take this topic before he does, there's you know You want to get back dying cuz there's these there was not your tree and now there's a tree and there's Checking it out. You're gonna build a big tree and let everyone come see it's right You're gonna you're gonna let black and Jews come down and see the tree Walk down there with your girl you're gonna walk down so you can look at a

tree Who's putting the lights on that day down so you can look at a three. Who's putting the lights on that day? Why? The lights going on. That's a great, that's a great one. That's one of my favorite impressions, right? Of the Sebastian you do it. And because you do the dance, and and then they're gonna go up to why My favorite thing when Mike Fenoea calls me

Where's my phone Mike Fenoea calls me it rings it's uh it's Sebastian's face making like a what What that confusion look yeah That confusion look. Yeah, you go. Yeah. What? Why would you not have a tree? I've never changed it. But look up Sebastian Madness Calco, Confused Pictures.

I'll show you the picture. He's got so many. What? I'll start it out small though. Look at that. He started out real small. Yeah, that was it. Well, yeah, they weren't.

Yeah, well, they wanted to be able to hang on a chain the rest of the year. Where is my guma? I think it was. I mean, look at it. The roads were dirt back then. There was no paved shit. Men wore a hat. Yeah, there's only 30 Italians in the city.

You know, a fat Italian. It was definitely a fat Italian. So the tree's got to be bigger. You know, it was just like, this isn't. We can't. Let's just look at this. Oh, yeah, I'm bringing my gomada seed in. My mother's coming down to make a bigger.

I'm like a fool. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh It's sort of like that Don't take up face like just make it like why is it? Why does he look like a goofy vampire keep going down your fun. I'm sorry. It's just why You me Why I What? I don't know. What? Were you in him or what?

And they did do what? You're going to grill chicken in your old town room? You're going to make pot roasts with a head dryer? And my house we do pasta on Sundays. Not Chinese food. Why would you leave your house on Christmas? It's Jesus's birthday. You're gonna go on Christmas to wash a movie. What? Why? Why? Why would you do that? Oh God.

I'm sorry, Luz, this is why you attack me once in a while to make money, your butt, but he's the best in this guy. Luz, leave it to us. You love it so much, why are you a millionaire? Why does he love you back? I don't know. He's got a gazillion dollars, dude. He should make your life for you.

He's a... Sebastian, if you're listening, and also Kevin Hartfield listening, I'll also take this also. If you want to throw me in Bobby, just a million bucks each for our time. Yeah, you know We talked about you a lot in the last couple weeks I think we did that probably moved your numbers a little bit. We helped about so if you just throw Seach and Million that'd be totally cool and Sebastian also make Lake, Lou Rich

Yeah, I get Coriely out of upstate New York Yeah, I'm making Coriely live and someone else is born like fucking like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse He's a client and a fucking wooden ladder to get out of his loft every day honey. We used to act that the the snow mobile I gotta go get groceries. No, he's calling me Why is it not? I have to answer it Doesn't come up tell the call again. You got answer and just see what the background is Tell the call again It's so funny. It is the best picture Actually, it probably just go to his funny of Corielli knock out Sebastian's door. He's like, no, there it is.

He's like, oh, stairs. He doesn't have to call back. You can see right there. Oh, yeah. What? Hey, hey, hey, you're calling me for why? What do you mean why do I wear a vest? Such a great person.

Why would you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, Why would you do Sebastian Sebastian is such a good comic that I I Wanted to not like you know before I like listen to this stuff. I was like I Banished a bunch of bullshit and I watched and I was like damn it It's some of the shitty says like that. I'm a bitch and really makes me laugh. That's the one. That's the one.

You can do this. I made it. But that joke about how back in the day when we were kids, somebody would ring your bell, you'd invite a minute. It would be company. And now everyone's like, who the fuck is he? That's perfect, man. That's a great joke.

I love the Italian guys always turning to old Jewish guys. The older they get. Visually, if you look at them now, it's just like a great joke. I love the Italian guys always turning to old Jewish guys the older they yes Visually if you look at him now is just like a Vod Hello, are you coming over? I'm in over. Do you look at me in a restaurant? I'm getting worse dude What do you mean just with the with service? You know that yeah, but you're dude you what you're going? You're you're very uptight with people. Oh, I'm not yeah, yeah What you're going you're you're very uptight with people. Oh, I'm not yeah, yeah No, I'm not

You said because I want my water when I sit down Because the menu should be there Christine's a little honor you bad service. I I don't like the latent bad service like if I'm sitting there five minutes and nothing I mean nothing no hello No bread no water is five minutes. We're not even a little We'll be right. I'm so sorry. We're slammed like I'm gonna get you something yeah I don't like when they send the guy who can't speak English over and you're like hey, how you doing? Can you and he's like? No, and you're like are you fucking I'll be right back. He's a bad ass you Bobby did a nice

That's where the game beat it comes out of Bobby We're a Montreal did he grab the you gave the guy like a touch on the armories like you're embarrassing me in front of my friends and family here I don't know we've been here for like a long time like maybe some bread or something you know for the table or something he's like oh right away. No, I want I got a I got a 10-year-old that starving And I got I got ladies here too. Yeah, by the way, that for the table shit is the most passive aggressive selfish way to get food. Now let's get some food for the tech. It's like, it's for you.

Well, it was obvious. We were all getting pretty honored here. But you would have fucking, it was an hour. We were at a restaurant for an hour. Max went outside to sit on a wall and reflect. I was reflecting all. I'm not a kid. I'm not a kid. He went outside and I went outside I went outside was like I'm gonna go smoke and I go you can get check on Max

And he was just sitting in the install on top of a wall that I couldn't guess how we got on top of it was so high I mean, we're just thinking and I came outside he was like, oh, hey, you just jumped down and went back inside All right, yeah, it was bad. It was yeah, it was you would have lost your mind. Yeah, yeah, you lose your mind five seconds in if someone doesn't say something to you. It was it could's part of the experience, you know what? Experience what experience are you talking about if you go into a nice restaurant, but you treat every restaurant like it's an experience? No, you go to Applebee's No, let's see experience that. No, what the fuck is this though? I don't go to Applebee. They give me a menu with fucking stuff on it though I don't go to Applebee. By the way shout and the fucking stuff on it though. I don't go to happen, please. By the way, shout out, we went to Mace on Pickle

before Kiss the other night. The food, I mean, it was also fresh and so good and also, I feel like moments away from when we ordered it, it just kept firing out. It was so fast. Yeah, but here's the problem with that place. Is it so busy, they lied to you. And if it wasn't for Christine's desire to get whatever the fuck food that she wanted, she was like, I'm, we're going hit, this

is the best place ever. She went up and was like, a bunch of times, three or four times. It was like, what's up? And the last time she was like, this is bullshit. You guys, like, they lied to us. They kept lying to us. Oh shit. Yeah, they had another party. We were late, but I called and said we were late. They said they were holding a table. Another party came in, like lied to them. They were giving up our table.

And they were trying to not let us know that happened. But they ended up like getting the other people out at the same time. Yeah, okay, so there you go. So that's like a pregnant woman with a stroller. We were like, bye. I like that. I want my spicy pickles.

Yeah, bye. And they were talking, as they were going past us, they were saying things like, so wait, they're like, we're going like to different one or is it something I'm just like, that's a problem. Guy left his something at the table and he came back for it. And we're like, I don't know where it is.

Can you pass me one of those sweet ponds? None of us, we didn't even look very long. We're like, I wouldn't, I mean, I think I know if I was sitting on a sweater. Now, like, can you check me one of those sweet puffs? None of us, we didn't even look very long. We're like, I mean, I think I know if I was sitting on a sweater now, like, can you check this frogman's sink? No, I think I would know if my ass was on a sweater and not. Why would you leave your sweater at the table?

I'm making it jik-a-furious. Yeah, wow. I don't like that shit because my dad would do that to me and my brother and make it really embarrassing. He was really rude, my father. He was really rude. He was so kind of narcissistic. He was like, I'm here on Sunday, I brought my fit.

What is this? And I've also not to trust that they're not back there just fucking salesmen are you staying with. I would always think that. I'd be like, do you just talk to that person? You just call the manager over, you talk to him, and it was just me and my brother would look at each other and go, this is fucking not true.

So I don't like doing that. But my dad would be like, is there an owner here? He always have to go above. You know, it's like, he, one time he was like, I brought him up. Get me somebody important.

Yeah, he's, yeah. Yeah, get me somebody important. Well, I think the exchange you have with the people that work there and you, you want it to be as no friction. You want it to be as no friction. You want it to be very smooth. Hi, how are you?

What do you like? I like this. Okay, thank you. Here's your stuff. What else would you like? I would like some of this. Thank you. How is it?

It's great. Can I get anything else? No. Walk the fuck away. But then at the end, here's your check. I'm out. You know what I mean? That's the perfect experience at dinner.

My favorite thing to do is after Paul's dad type goes to work. I'll do this with the airport to this how you get great service. You wait for that person to lose their shit, probably very justifiably. So then the person's over to you and goes, what's that guy's fucking problem? I mean, is that big a deal? Dude, eat at home, right? Jesus Christ. Anyway, I'm going to have them weren't a bit of a rush. I bit of a rush I'm gonna have a oh then you're like on the top of the list dude I've gotten let into before whatever the what's whatever the fast like TSA pre-check of Canada is was that like Nexus or Lexus whatever

Nexus it's called quick yeah whatever it is faster I don't have the that one for Canada side and there was a guy in front of me just going off on the lady right there where they basically tell you to go this way or the faster way. Yeah. And I was definitely supposed to go the long way. And I would just like, I go, what the fuck? I'm like, Jesus Christ. That guy'd be more of an asshole. Like, you got to deal with that all day. I bet right? Yikes. And she was just like, yeah. Come. She's like, move the little, uh, the velvet rope thing and I was like go the fast way Do my my older brother. He like he's like the nicest. He makes me look like a fucking asshole

And he he was online. He's just quiet. He was online at a place I think it was best by and somebody was berating the person there so bad my brother black that he snapped And he just said come here for a second. He said, I'm gonna tell you something right now. If you ever talked to me like that, I would take this disc and embed it in your fucking brain and kill you right here. And like everybody just was like,

what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the,

what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, What a nerd fucker thing to threaten you with. Dude, I'll take this. I'll take this USB port. And fuck. I'll take this replica Harry Potter wand and I will shove it so far up your asshole. I'll take this 15 point K modem. I will take this blu-ray and smash your girl in the face. Dude, there is a hotel by you and downtown white planes and it used to have this amazing buffet like amazing and families would go on Sundays really nice. So my dad

knew the GM and the owner and he loved that. My dad loved to know the oh so and so it's he had to get him out here. Now my grandfather was there. My grandfather wasn't fully losing it but he did care. He was an awful comedy club audience guy. He would have, no he never went but he was. No, I never went, but he's not. I'm saying, but if he was, he was, that was those guys that I'm sorry, you know, we lose a bit, Joker's wild. Do you ever do that little short thing? And get a kid?

That was every week and there they go, you'd say blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, that's a huge, Jimmy. Am I right? There's the whole audience was one group of guys. That street is the attack. Well, that's the little Italy. That was little Italy, but the best pizza in the world is, that street is the Italian section. Well, that's the little Italy. It was little Italy, but the best pizza in the world is on that street.

Yeah, that's Sally's. Sally's. Yep. And I think modern is somewhere. I guess the name of the other one, but the mean modern. Modern. Modern. It was the, it was the owner's friends at Joker's Wild. And it was all of them talking.

Yep. I had a guy come and go, he can't talk to my wife like that. He followed me to my parking lot. It was nuts in the parking lot. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, what? He followed me. He said, my parking lot. My first time doing it there, that guy, whatever his name was, I forget.

Phinoia knew him very well. Yeah. Mike Phinoia, and when he came out there, the guy, and he's like joking, but it's just that kind of like trying to like keep you where you're at. He goes, Hey, Mike, he goes, the only reason this guy is still walking around here, okay, is because he's friends with you. The only reason he's still alive right now, and Mike's hippie came out're at he goes, hey Mike he goes, the only reason this guy is still walking around here, okay, is because he's friends with you. The only reason he's still alive right now, and Mike's hippie came out and he just goes,

nah man, he's alive because, you know, we're all supposed to be man. That's my first, that's one of my first engagements with Mike Pinot. I forget Mike's a hippie. I was thinking he's alive because, you know what I'm saying. We're all supposed to be alive man. I mean he's alive because Ross supposed to be alive man.

I mean, he's alive because like just why the lady bugs you a lot. He broke the tension in the situation. It's energy man. Yeah, but he like Mike, he loved that shit. He loved being like, I know the guy. Get him out here. And my grandfather wasn't losing it fully, but my grandfather was just talked to anybody

and my dad would always be like, Hey, don't tell people like my grandfather would be in the elevator. He'd be like, Hey, you don't have a daughter in Denver and like, I didn't know her, right? So we're sitting there at this buffet. And the owner comes out. My dad stands up. My dad's in a suit. He shakes his hand.

And he goes, this is my father, dude. I swear to God, I'll never forget to look at my father's face. My grandfather takes his plate. And he hands it to him and he says, hey, can you go get me more turkey? He said to the owner, and my father fucking lost it. He doesn't know what he's doing. You know I'm sorry. I'm sorry and dude

It was a thing my grandfather didn't give just handed him a plate so go get me more turkey Hey, go yeah, the guy was like oh no problem. I thought no, no, no, no, you know my father lost his shit Right, but he deserved it. He deserved it He deserved it my dad cuz he thinks that that matters owners don care. They don't like even if the owner knows you for years They don't get they're not have you gone to any of those like the exclusive Italian places because I assume they can only let me down Like a reos or we have to know That's where you have to know someone who owns the table or something, right? There's like six tables and you got to know somebody and if you don't it's like months of a weight

Yeah, but you know, but you can get in. I know people I can get you in but I'm very sorry even now I'm saying how good could it be as good as the jarred sauce because that's fine I think I think I think it went it back in the day it was good I think when it when it was coming up it was probably. I'm sure now everything has phases where it's all in the middle of the place that still got it. Donut, it's all gone. They're all gone. The bakeries are good, all right?

No, I think the bakeries are probably. It's Chinatown, there's no bakeries. What do you mean, there's nothing down there anymore? No Ferraris. No Ferraris, Ferraris is closed. No, no. No, it didn't. 100%.

You're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're asking, you're 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% Yeah, it's looking around. There we go. They buy in it. They buy we just gonna move on and not fact check that No, I've gone the events I go to Vincent's out Long Island Which is a great Italian place and they have the original ones in China or in literally and it's They do weird like they they've Definitely made their portions on everything down there become hipster portions

they've definitely made their portions on everything down there, become hipster portions. Versus like when you go to Italian, it's the one food where I'll be like, I'll take that to go. Like I'll take the rest home. Oh yeah. Oh, dude. It's the only.

I don't do that anywhere else. Sometimes as good if not the next day is it's only food. I'll eat it cold, eating like pasta cold. And that's why you had to get surgery. Yeah. You're even balls of cold pasta. I love taking a nice fork full pasta cold. That's why you had to get surgery Your balls a cold pasta. I love taking a nice fork full of cold pizza cold Just one thing pasta cold as fucking dude cold ziti I'll take a noodle before you throw it in but I mean I don't know if I'm taking a fork full of cold

I I Almost had a whole bowl the cold pasta tonight. It's so I was he cold clams sauce I like no, I'm not good fucking carry the way cold so yeah, I'm not a savage. Hey guys want to Pre-chilled paya What's a phedaginia frida? I'm not even cold fucking seafood Like a like a red sauce. Like a little sauce on the... Mar or nine?

Like a man, yeah. Oh my god. Over good? Oh my god. We went to Carbone, so we had to get like an 11 o'clock reservation. Everybody says that's overrated and blow a butt. And I thought it was incredible.

It was like one of the best meals I ever had. She's overdoing it. It's delicious. But again, same thing. Like, here's your order. Here's your amazing. It's tasty Of course, here's your order of four Like you know Zedys so I live a wheat pro

No, you have a way problem She just did your joke that you did a maid to you. Thank good morning, Christine You chubby son of a bitch. Oh Please I had my stomach taken out now Now, argue me all you want. Italian food's supposed to come in preposterous portions. No, no. Absolutely. 100% not most, I've been to Italy.

Well, you've been to Italy? No, in America, yeah. But in America, he's in a... Pasta's supposed to come... I go to Italy, then I'll go to, and they'll give me their things. Pasta is supposed to be a lot of times an appetizer Before like the cutlet or the steak or the vial sure you have a little like a cash a cash a pepe my favorite

That's great. My favorite pasta. That's great. That's it like that little thing before you have it I want to stick a fork in like this and put in the industry Like that and then I have to put half it it in my cheek. And I open it. You wanna bite it? And then I go, yeah, I go. And then very quickly it turns the, most of you, you can swallow. There's nothing like a huge bowl of pasta

with cheese and bread. Oh my God. Well first I put it, I cover it in cheese and then mix it in so the sauce now becomes a Parmesan cheese sauce. A cream sauce. And then I put on my top cheese. Yeah, that's my top Parmesan.

Well, the guy comes over with the cheese at the restaurant and like, dude, keep going. Keep going. Oh, I know. Anyway, he says he goes, like, have you ever ever read, read already, he goes, you have to tell me when to stop. And I'm like, yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. I know.

Anyway, Christine, yeah, that was a great, uh, dude, a great Dude, that Jim Florence team that Jim Florence one of my favorite thing is it's one of it We were crying we were on the road. We were meet the creeps He went in him Jameson a couple of people he goes no or no was there a bunch of you It was like never tell him never to stop don't let him stop right? She goes and he goes He goes no matter how long just let him keep going with the pepper dude and they're sitting there in the circle And the guy comes over and dude it got to the point am I exaggerating? I'm telling you the guy just kept going and they had down he got another one

I think I remember the count I think it was three three to four full pepper mills and then yes Three to four four once and then he had to go in a kitchen and they to get more he had a no he started hammer They started hand hammering pepper chords because because he goes against when he finished like the fourth or something you can find on youtube i think it's a fun and we have the fourth full pepper mill is done and i'm telling you it's hilarious there's a pile of pepper on top of his chicken just just a grilled chicken a pile of pepper the guy goes he goes uh... what about the other side and he just takes

and flips the chicken over which it clearly moves all of the pepper and yeah here turn this up dude it doesn't stop this is wait dude he's so ballsy what is it what is this again meet the creeps there's DVDs they put him in james and you're it's meet the creep okay Casey Armstrong 2021 minutes. So yeah, no more pepper mill. He has to bring it out now with a hammer. 28 minutes. He's bashing peppercorns again on the kid. It's it's so funny. We were crying

Yeah, they had they had Wait, there's when he flips it. Yeah, there it is. He just moves 100% of the pepper off of it Norton's trying so hard on the left. That's a great. That was a great all-one. They didn't want they didn't want called my brother You remember that and he told me uh, Florentine told me him and Don had to stand chest to back and hand them the phone back and forth because they were like, gonna be laughing too hard. And it's just a, they got cold call offering them like, you want a vacation? Basically, like, you know, they're the bank thing.

You want a vacation? He's like, oh, that's great. You, uh, let me play on my brother. And he goes, hello, it's like, you just use one of vacation, you just vacation where? And it's like to the Fiji Island, he goes, oh, cool. You know, let me play on my brother real quick. And they never, oh, that would be great. Can you explain to my brother? And it would have non-stopped.

And she just kept, she said everything like four or five times. And she finally got frustrated. And they kept her on for like, it's like seven minutes or so. It's a while. How do you do that? His, his, like commitment, uh, Florence, he's commitment. He, he is on the phone. He has a disconnect from empathy for humans. Dude, he called up and he said he had six months to live. He's, he has no connection to human life because in order to do those pranks, you can't care about other people at all. Yeah, I think his son changed all that.

I don't think he's done an upper decker in Luke's life. No, he acted like he was terminal and he called a guy and said, I got six months living, he was trying to sell stuff. And the guy felt so bad to get off, but the shit he was selling was like things you wouldn't, he said, I need a mouse, I need a mouse for the computer. He was about to acknowledge that I don't know how about a lamp. His son did connect him and then his ex-wife cut his emotions.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She was fucking a cop. Was it a cop? Oh, it was like a CrossFit guy or something. There was a cop. There was a cop. So you know.

When a cop snags your chickens to worse because you really can't do shit. You ever go up to somebody like dude, how's your family? And they just go, did this happen to me recently? He He's like hey man. How's your family? He just goes Do we just you know we just got separate? But it's all right and you're just standing there. You're like yeah, tough one, you know I did that when she was a fucking con anyway, dude

She was actually a pretty big con so that's for the best when Louie did that when he was married and had kids I went to his house he lived over in Soho and I walked up and he made his kids pancakes and he had this cool apartment. And I was like, I'm gonna ask Don to marry. I can be, if this piece of shit can do it, I can do it. And I asked Don to marry me. And then he got fucking divorced. He's like, dude, biggest mistake in my life,

getting married. I am having so much fun now. Biggest mistake of his life was getting divorced because he said it wagon off front of people. I have to say. I have to say. I have to say. Maybe the biggest mistake was

whacking off in front of, I guess the wrong people. That's true. The wrong people. They went off for the wrong people. They're out of the right people. There's definitely the right people. Yeah, there's somebody that's down.

I'll tell you what, he didn't whack off in a lot of the right people because those people were Not stupid enough to just go oh no, I'm out of that I mean it seems like it's all the thing was now now I don't want to do that. I'm good. I'm good Fuck people, but the good thing about Louis it actually told me how to like parent my daughter I was just like hey if this ever happens if a guy ever Try to find out is dick just be like a nut for me. No, thanks unless you want to watch him waggle You do you want to watch a celebrity waggle off? That's a decision. You're gonna have to make on your own sweetheart

So my mom said when it happens to comment because this sad you cuz you know me dicks. I've seen I didn't want to see That was a guy I gotta go mom. Yeah, to go. Tell him I support him. Let him know Mama Kelly's home. You're good to go. Should we take a break? And then we have to come back and say goodbye. Paul versus going to be playing the the Grammacy.

Yeah, dude. Grammacy, dude, New Year's. I can't wait, man. So the Grammacy theater New Year's. Make sure you get your tickets now. It is going to sell out He's gonna be at Uncle Vinnie's in New Jersey January 27th. The 28th you will be taping his special another special at the Den in Chicago February 24th. Get tickets Paul Versey dot com and check him out on that show. There's a show

Bondy picks don't pretty well. It's still good. I mean, I mean, if you ask black, Louis, it's not, we're posting too much. But the thing is, it's overkill. It's overkill. I know he wants to engage too. Too many videos, six a day, January 16th. I don't know when it was. He had a date. What, what are you gonna say?

Do you have an event coming up where you're, you're talking about how to be an influencer? What? Do you have an intent coming up where you're gonna teach people how to be an influencer? I can't, and if you want me to do that, I can do that. No, I saw it on your thread. You have something coming up

where you're gonna teach people social media. I must have missed that because you're constant posting. Yeah, my company. You know what? I'm signing up, I'm signing up a fucking hell. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, up. I fucking know. I've I've I've brought I post a lot so I don't know I post I actually post too much today, so I don't know I probably do But you post three times like some fucking boomer. I think it's four times today. Oh

Boomer it's too much Big day right what I don't know I asked black look. I don't fucking know one of days the right know one of days the right boomer Fucking boomer I have an autistic kid from Jersey posting for me. I don't know what he's doing I don't know what he's doing. He doesn't look me in the eyes But it's great Bobby Jesus Robert Kelly live com for all his dates dang you beach next weekend This week is gonna be recouping a knee and that big Jay crazy. I've Houston tomorrow my birthday Happy birthday, buddy big Joe big J comedy dot com for all his dates Houston improv Yeah, yeah, do one of my favorites great club great club. Why don't I then everybody listen tomorrow to the bonfire my birthday episode

In all coast to hell to the grammar see dinner You're gonna be you're gonna be him Pittsburgh New years years. You're gonna be him. Pittsburgh on New Years. Yeah, make sure you listen to what I would you. When we when we have the Dan Fallout. Yeah, go back and listen on Monday because you're the beginning of the end. Yeah, to the beginning again. Do you think Dan got all the years and he was like, could you use a good crew for my new show? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys probably wouldn't be interested in doing that. Yeah. Almost pimples thinking about, ah, you know what? Forget it guys. Just go do you think. Guys, I just got the, I just got the projected money for the new show. And let me tell you,

I think we can make a, you know, guys, you know, if you guys stay with your app, you guys think I've made my piece. I passed by the studio and looked in the window and you, almost as if in slow motion, you could see Dan, Katie and Ronnie B. Ronnie if in slow motion you could see Dan Katie and Ronnie B Ronnie laughing in slow motion. Oh Moving on waiting here No, no, no, no, he was a guest on the show today came in with Katie and didn't say hi to Jacob or little or any of these guys You're calling for him day after day. Yeah Dan has a new family and his old family isn't happy with the new family hang-off.

Oh okay. Well, instead we're getting a single mom syndrome where they're lashing out at us. But we're the ones who are here. We're here with you. Oh shit. They don't like that their dad is bald. Everything will be better. I was this fact kid.

If things will be better if I live with dad. Hey, why don't you go call dad and see if he'll take it. My mom's stepdad. My mom's stepdad. My mom's stepdad. My mom's stepby right to my dad and in three months, I was like, yo, let's go back. It wasn't he was abusive or anything.

I was so obvious he didn't want me there. I was like, oh, I should go. Yeah, like they said, one of the fans said, Dan's the dad that stepped out. I'm the one that stepped up. Yeah, he said, he's not me now. And he goes, he's not our stepdad. He's the dad that stepped out. I'm the one that stepped up. Yeah, he said, Bobby's not our stepdad. He's the dad who stepped up.

Yeah, yeah. It's like when the mother's like, he might be tough, but he loves us. He's here. I do love all you. Black Lou, DJ Lou, Jacob, Christine. I love all of you. And through that in time, they're going to learn to love you.

In time, they're going to learn to love me. They just, right now they're one state. Missing Dan. Alright, let's go. We're going to take a break. We're the Bonfire. We'll be back. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo