The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Comedy Driving School

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Jay joins an elderly comedy workshop and stumbles upon something called Comedy Driving School!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson and I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Smooth. I like the way you raise that, Lou. And we are a go.

Thank you as always to the Legend of Ron Bennington, the Bennington Show. Always giving us the best lead-in in broadcasting. This is the Bonfire. That's right, FactionTalk Series XM103. I'm Big Joke, or some VAT, Stan Soder. Hello. Hello.

Happy New Year. Happy New Year, buddy. 2022, baby, and studio. Oh, no. Nice to be back in studio. COVID's not real. And who are that? Guys, we had some opinion shifts over the break.

Yeah, guys, it's not real. And build that wall. I'm not sure right now. Build that wall. I'm into the moon landing not being real. That's where I'm standing. Conspiracy, Dan. Get ready for it. Came in fringe, dude. Lake County Dan went ahead of a hut with some kind of weird like

shortwave radio broadcast you'd be doing. No, I feel like Lake County Dan would dabble with methamphetamines and start believing that the aliens were in the lake. Yeah. We have to drain the lake. Old Danny drain the lake, so do you. Fuck it. What's under there? What, where does it get its source? Dan, it's a man-made lake. Yeah. Please, just leave it alone.

There's something under there. I feel it when I fly to DIA. I flew a Denver for Christmas. Felt it when I land in the airport. I said, there's something going on here. Yeah. Something's under the ground. Yeah.

Oh, for sure. That's where they hide the present. Yeah. Or something. Everyone says it's an illuminati safe house, but I think it's yeah, I saw TV show where they went down to go like you have to like shake the right Paul of the horse outside The blue the blue the blue horse of the red eyes bronca Is that it was a year oh Jesus Christ Jacob's impression damn. That's scared of that scared to live and shit out of me Thank you to everybody who came... Oh, there are crews all here.

Yeah. We got DJ Lou. We got Christine Evans. In person. We have our Black King, the Black Tiger, Louis. Jaws. So... And the winner, the Bob Sag at death pool everybody.

Jacob at top, all the way in front of the lady, Adam one. Damn, you picked them every year and finally you win Yeah, a lot of people don't know Jay Jacobs bedroom was like Finkel's an ace of intern said die Bob died I say I get died Very sad about death Bob Sagitt bad fucking crazy. He was just at Skate yeah, and heard nothing but great things a met him a couple times he was super fucking cool no uh... i was up to miss the reason i was bumped out of bump in my expeter is fine

uh... i remember we sat in the back of that yeah we sat there was a lot of that they called me over to yell at me about uh... there was supposed to get mad at me for the letter the lady wrote all i didn't know that is remembering crazy hot. And then we went downstairs and they were like, I remember a tell kept getting ready to call me up

and then Jeff Rose would stop and bring up somebody else. Yeah, the one time he just started yelling and he was Michelle Wolf. He was like, no, Michelle Wolf. Michelle Wolf's there, everybody Michelle Wolf and they start clapping and they're like, I don't think she's here yet. He's like, oh, he goes, why don't we just bring up J?

He's like, well, hang on a second. Who else? Yeah, we got it. He's like, what's happening, man? Dude, I was standing in the back, we're all the comics. It hurts so much. I mean, I was sitting there watching it.

Guys, just bring up Jay. I should have grabbed the mic and gone. It's me, Michelle, off, bring up Jay. Yeah, dude, where were you? I'm not being Jay-ocursing. I was just standing there high. Yeah, it's running. Winslow used to be able to get rid of neighbors

by having a machine gun going off in his house. You'd never really dropped a ball I really blew it one of your voices gonna help me man. I'll get you out of a jam. Yeah, I got a Winslow out of jams Remember used to call me out of school as Sloan's mom. Sloan's dead Frequently I think you were nice. Hold Rooney you so so, but yeah, man, it's one of those things where you get a text, you're like, what? A buddy text me, Bob Sagatide, and you're like, what? R.H.F.E.R. is gonna Instagram. Thing is, he talked about it last night,

like right when it happened. He's on stage or went to the cellar. Pretty funny, he was like, That's his conch shell. When a celebrity dies, it's like, Bo-bo. He's like, I have to go talk about this. But it was like that he goes, he goes, they say it wasn't drugs. Who said that?

His drug dealer? No, that was, that's incidental. Yeah, a rest in peace, Bob. So I get, that's a fucking young man. 65, 65. There's only about, we do some quick math. 25, 30 years of being able to make jokes about banging the Olsen twins.

That's a lot. I, 65. My boy, John Stamos is probably bummin', didn't catch his number or anything, or were we hung out that one time? Good news is, Janis is close to him, so Janis can probably get you. Janis Poppins, he calls him Jani?

Oh Jani. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Jani. Ohice Poppins, he calls him Janice. Oh, Janice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. I want to change Janice's name and my phone to Janice live at the Acropolis. Oh, dude, that was, that should have been the stepmother section of a CD store. Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh my god. Talk about stepmom music. Janice and Tash, dude, that's not even your mom. It's not even your mom. No. It's your stepmom was too. It's tash do that's not even your mom no it's your stepmom it's a it's a lady that lays with your father it's it's your tash coming up with some themes though the lady who lives with lace with my papa yeah man speaking of Greek music when I lived in when I first

moved to a story we lived across the street. Oh, we lived across the street from the Greek music in video superstar. Don't shit. And Vic and I always jumped around that it was just a hundred copies of my big fat Greek wedding in the soundtrack. That's and then a couple Yannis, a couple use lot. It was Yannis floating around. You guys should should start a locks for love with the arm hair in that place Look like a fucking wookie canteen Fuck dude, I think I was I talked about fucking family guy blue harvest like twice yesterday Thought of the jokes where they're like what do all right guys with the cantina band. What do you want us to play play that same song? Yeah, man, it was very it's it's very my friend Joey always texts me when people die

He's like the guy. He's the guy. He's always the bringer of bad news death bringer He remember when we were about to do the live bonfire outside the village underground and he called me and he's like, my friend Josh Morales was killed in a car accident. That was Joey. When I was, it's when I started. What a great show for you to have gotten spring break drunk, dude. A couple of claws. A couple of claws and a couple of shots.

How's a couple of years ago? How would I ever do a live show not like that again? You're going to be in the bag every time now? Not in the bag, but I definitely get loose with some tranks. Oh man, it'll be fun. Yeah. Moontower, dude. Next to Moontower, we do.

I go, yeah, I didn't think there was going to be a white t-shirt contest, but Jay was four-close dea. Come on guys, what are we doing? Are we partying or what? Beaver contest? I'll get a Pritz Albert right here on the stage. I'm going to have a half asleep asleep half rude conversation where I'm like, the girls got a great snap or Dan.

Jay, what? Snap? What are you saying, 70's terms? You're falling asleep talking? Yeah. Yeah. No, she was hot. What, Jay?

We're introducing the group. Yeah. Yeah. Where's Jacob and Santa? It's Moon Tower. Uh-huh. What? No, I know I'm fucking around from before Idiots anyway, I'm glad you letter help dot com slash gravel. I'm glad that I don't have

I feel like I quit Drinking before everything was recorded. You know, yeah, I remember doing a podcast where I was drunk I don't even know the podcast. I don't think it will. But I was fucking hammered on it. And I was like he, I used to know I came out and he notified me on Facebook. And I was like, oh, this is like 2011. And I remember being like a couple of you know what, dudes? I got fucking hammered on. Yeah. Christine's, uh, Christine's drunk face and pictures was pretty Tellable for sure What was the giveaway on Christine when she was drunk? I float and I

Yeah, the floater one just one just takes a trip a different direction, but by the way She thinks both of them are looking at you and neither of them is Neither of more. Nope. They are just making just they just fucking like the blue angels dude zip by either side of your ears to do flybys It's it's pretty wild. Yeah, you can tell for sure But when she sings the waterfalls you can see the floaty eye, but she was still here's thing floaty eyes happen and quick No matter what so floaty eye. It's not a good tell floaty. I can still be fun Christine But floaty eye I was also indicative of like when Christine would do the hey you guys want to do a little shot and you're like I

May have said this in the show before but I'm trying to Work on like a stage thing about it because it is funny The reaction I go it's when people get ready to go out at night. Let's go get drunk Mm-hmm and like women particularly do this and then when they come over to you at some point They go let's do another drink and you go no no your drunk. You're simply tell my intention of that was always just to be like Nah, you don't want to you're fine. It's like no you're drunk like you don't move. You're having so fun So much fun and then when you said you go like nah, you don't need that drink. What why what am I doing? I fucking my fighting with people my being a bitch and you're like now this here is the whole reason like you see

I'll fast on a dime you could turn on that because just Nurse this man man have some fun. I learned I learned very early on is a Shit talking kid that with I could get under a trisha skin and being like all right. You can have another one Like she would be going back to the thing about who you be like, oh, you have another one for dinner? And she'd be like, what? And they're like, you know, the first time I did it, I was like, oh, no.

I don't know. And then by the time I was 16, we'd have like knockdown drag out fights, I'd be like, oh yeah, get a refill. Fuckin' refill it back up. And she'd be like, yeah, fucking dope, and she called me a dopehead, which didn't make sense.

That's a great one though. It's a pit. I was like, what does that even mean? I was like a mom, it was like a mom insult that do you mean? I don't know, that's just our new merch dude. Go, pet dope head. Well that's because you're smoking pot, right? Yeah, dope head.

Yeah, that's what you meant. Yeah, that's what she meant, but it was like calling a dope is like, that's heroin lady. Mm. No parents call it hot dope. Right now, fucking nerds. Smokes and dope. Yeah, yeah mom, I want you. I want you have some dope

Like you're typing boot off Idiot stupid idiot man We got an NFL Sunday was last week of the regular season last night fucking intense Yeah, but nothing to me nothing changed nothing moved you guys were in you guys had played the day before you guys played Saturday Play Saturday, but they also everybody is in COVID. Oh, I didn't know that everyone will be back for I mean I mean they probably were gonna play starters anyway, but like yeah, I thought you guys are Deciding when Kelsey went in and played a Three plays just to a

Log in that he played wait wait the longest Kelsey's back Jason Kelsey. Oh Never mind. I was never mind. I was confusing Trace. I was thinking I thought I was like I thought no, no Kelsey. Yeah, the center. Yeah, he You know, they showed him again like they were giving a speech this week It was good. Yeah, I saw that online. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's a awful strength. Nobody can fuck with us with It's so amped, but then his brother is like yeah, what up dog? Yo, your female's looking fine. Oh, it's Travis Kelsey. Yeah, he's like wigger. Yeah, really? Yeah, you didn't know that Jason Kelsey. I would just bet like on our

Y'all Jason be man, serious bro. If Jason Kelsi was like, I'm not racist at all, I'd be like, yeah, I'm sure, but, sure, I guess, no, seriously, I love all people the same. Yeah, I got you, but you don't say anything. They did another wonderful, wonderful, on SVU, where they just take, they are irresponsible sometimes.

First, I don't think that white power symbol, they say people give when it's like the okay sign. I think you still like to throw the okay. I'm a little mad, I can't give anybody an okay. I'll throw okay in my life. And it's terrifying. She'll go, yeah, it's like, they'll look at that way.

But in SVU, one of them, not under cover, she was just, did you watch this? Yes, I know. Yes, she went to the white supremacist guy. I was trying to like fool him that she was down. And she was like, hey, she's like, she goes like, you gotta stop just saying it was black people. It's like being too obvious.

And then she did the white, the okay symbol. And he was like, what do I say? Like, he just bought it right away. She pauses and she pauses and would look like, hey, look at this. Yeah, check this out. Take a look at it. And I was like,

they've been funny if she dead armed him, you know, when you get caught looking, you go through, oh, one for looking. I don't know if it's true, but my Loganopolis on Skanks did say that he started that rumor that, that okay, sign was white power, which again, it's just like, fantastic.

Yeah, I heard a thing, you know, he's like broke now, like he's just fucking done, and I was like, sure, like that doesn't blow my mind either. Like he was, it only as important as you made him. Mm-hmm. He was in the Martin Screly documentary, I would.

I watched that, that one stunk. Did you like it? No. The one where the guy lives in his building? Yeah, yeah, and he's all his like, footed pharma bro. Yeah, yeah, it was like It's all right. It's funny watching it goes face kill it talk about him. Yeah, that was the best part That's the funniest part of it. I don't want to talk about this dude no more

But he is 45 minutes and me talking about him, but here's a lot of footage of me talking shit about this stupid kid I'm gonna talk about him talk about him a lot. The one thing I didn't like about it was I felt like the guy that made the movie lived in his building and like, he was a fan of his. Yeah. In a way that you're like, well, it did point out the idea that he's just for some reason was so willing to play the evil fucking like, smarmy piece of shit.

Yeah. But like, it's just a thing that's done constantly. He's just such a face you could put on it. Like, me piece of shit. Yeah. But like, it's just a thing that's done constantly. He's just such a face you could put on it. Like the idea of that, like a pill being raised 5,000%. He's just constantly done. Yeah. It's 100% done. So it's like, it's not just, like he's a,

he's just the best asshole to point at for people doing that. But there's, you know, sweet grandpas are probably doing the same thing in board rooms, you know what I mean you know I mean oh my god the decisions that CEOs make where you don't realize how shitty they're like you know this is gonna impact all the people around in the town and they're like yeah but our profit margin will be up 4% let's do it dude speaking of the old's getting involved I was in Jacksonville weekend thank you Jacksonville for showing up by the way did you do 16 minutes of Jacksonville material?

The way Cat Williams did when he was special down there? No, I should have, but I do that hotel as such a hooker hotel. Oh. It's so fun. It really is fun. Like, it's just a very interesting place to stay. And the bed's good enough that it's like fun.

Internet's free and good. It's more than that. And you're less than 200 steps away from the front door of the comedy club. The comedy club's in the hotel. But it's one of the hotels when you open your door, you're outside. You know, I mean, it's Florida. So the lot I like that, but like, do you know what I mean? I don't like it.

As a smoker, you must love it. Oh, as a smoker, I almost died this weekend. I was crushing them. Did you just have your door open, leaning over the rail? No, I just go outside and paste in the rail. Talk out front everybody's door about personal things probably. Who gives a shit?

Throw people under the bus, just through a door. It was a mile-round trip to go to Starbucks and back in a target. Easy peasy. Yeah. Whether whether it wasn't probably it wasn't cold, like it is here. It's fucking fantastic. Whether I went outside in shorts, uh, basketball shorts, and do my pacing smokes.

Florida J dude, ripping butts, getting stuff done. Florida is a trash garbage place of, uh, people. However, it's so great when it's cold here. Thank you, Flora. I love you so much. Now, the fans out there are fantastic. Local comics and stuff. All fucking cool. It's really, it's a... I don't know if they should get rid of the comedy zone and know what the answer is, but like, no one goes there. It's like dinosaurs performing there. Are people that are worth that? Are people that are worth that? You get like black comics that have their own fan base

that can bring in like good audience, you know what I mean? And besides that, I can, it's like public Francisco's coming next week, the people who work there admittedly don't know anything about comedy, like the managers and stuff. It just was purchased. Man, it was just sold. I got the hold down, but to talk about the old people I was gonna say on Saturday still,

they keep this running thing that's been there since the old owner, where it's called the comedy workshop. You go down, it's whatever, 330 or something on a Saturday. And you have to, you used to have to pay to do it, right? It was like 200 dollars to join the workshop, but that was the only way, the owner ran it. So that was the only way that you could get into the club. Yeah. Was to go to this workshop. I mean, Finoa went and watched the last time and it was like

that. It was interesting to say the least. So it's kind of like a showcase to get, it's, it's, I didn't know exactly how it was going to go other than when it happened. I was like, this is a nightmare. I would not do this at all. It was horrible to go through this. Maybe it's helpful for some people. I can't argue that. I don't know.

Everyone's got a different process. Yeah. But these comics, the younger people that are trying to do comedy for the most part, they all get up. They go up in front of each other. But ultimately it was just like for like local comics in their 50s, 60s. You know, I mean, sitting there for them and when someone would be like a joke, you know, they do like their new two or three jokes and they go and,

uh, you know, came in or mouth anyway. And then these four old people have to go, you know, came in or mouth anyway. And then these four old people have to go, you know, did you explain like why? Like, did you explore it all like why you came in or mouth? It was just so, and then when it was even that dirty, that's a bad example. It was just like, you know, so, you know, so I told my girlfriend with it and ultimatum like that.

I guess I'm choosing fantasy baseball, you know. And it's like, now fantasy baseball, do you play fantasy based? It's just like these things that are like, oh my God, dude. Hey, don't, please stop doing this. Oh, please stop doing this. I did the, I did the how long can I sit there?

I did as long as I could. And this was so uncomfortable. What, during the day? 330. And then they just asked you to come and hang out and watch it. Or, oh, it's in the hotel. It's just yeah You just meant but in fact I told a couple of the comics I'd go to it and like sit there and watch and like hang out and then at

415 or 430 one of them reached out to like hey Down here to think on the idea me or whatever. I was like oh shit. I totally forgot about it and I was like Fucking throw throwing sweatpants and went downstairs and it might hell you. Fuck. But it's so weird. First of all, they don't laugh for each other at all, but then they clap when it's over,

which also seems like condos, it's just odd. So they don't give it up at all for the comics. It's just dead silent. Because comics open my eyes. I mean not like giggle, they're giggle. And then what's also funny when you get to know the local people Especially the older ones like the the real bin theirs for a while How overly hard they laugh at each other when the actual show comes

Like when there's an actual show going on Because one of the older guys was my host and so then they show up I actually liked him very much But I I did like him, but I will say your reason I'll talk about this thing and have fun with this because in fairness, when he goes, what do you want me to say? And I just go just lead just ganks and bond fire. And he goes, those are specials, huh? And I was like, no, nope. The other now. I go, there are both podcasts. I'm like, where we go? Nope. They're just my broadcast, but I just say I'm fine. Those biker gangs.

Yeah, so it was like, is that the unit you were in in the army? But he was one of the guys. He had just sit there like, given the run down the young college. I was young. It wasn't even young. There was like an old lady who had it was up there. And he's already asking her question. Should I get her explored more? And it was like, it wasn't even young, there was like an old lady who had it was up there. And he's already asking her question, trying to get her to explore it more.

And it was like dirty shit. And she was, dude, she was built, like, built to push a cart. I mean, you know, I mean, like the dinosaur arms, but really heavy. Yeah, not so much like overweight up top, but her lower body looks like four different people. It looks like she's wearing her skin and the shape of lower body looks like four different people. It looks like she's wearing her skin and the shape of her skin looks like. Remember when flea wore the teddy bear pants one time? No. We're not really peppers, we just wears like it's like other people all over his legs. Her lower head looked like Gene Simmons

Demon. Yeah. Toad it up. You don't have to be free. And this guy's just sitting in the crowd picking her, picking her active part. Yeah. He's like, yeah, he's like, what did you actually have sex after that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what her lower body was like. It was crazy.

And again, she was like, and I don't know what the six, I don't want to be a dick at all. And it's good. It's no way for it to not sound dicky Put seeing a 60 something year old person like doing the comedy workshop on the weekends to get ready for thing I just don't get it like why they would do it. I don't maybe they just bored Yeah, I would prefer there's part of me that way, but Yeah, but it's like to find like community maybe. Yeah, there's part of me that would prefer someone that's in their 60s doing comedy for the love of making people laugh and doing jokes.

Then these people that are doing comedy. I bet you would feel that way if they're hosting for you when you get to town. No, not at all. I'm gonna talk about my host, he did farm, just saying like, No, I won't work. Say just generally speaking.

Well, I won't work with him. I'm saying, I would prefer if they're out there, if you're telling me the other thing that's out there, or like people in their 60s doing this is like a hobby, trying to make people laugh great, versus like YouTubers that are just taking money, and taking weekends. Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Taking actual weekends from working comics. Well, that's apples and oranges, I think. But like, Yeah, but I'm saying like, eh, fuck it if they want to do it. No, I just don't get it. I don't. Do it, who gives a shit? I think anyone should do comment they want to do. I No, I just don't get it. Do it. Who gives a shit? Oh, I wouldn't. I think anyone should do comedy if they want to do it.

I just don't get what's the end game of it though. Like, uh, it's like, what are you gonna do? Cause in their head, they probably, you know, they probably lifted up levels. Like, they take it serious on a level that you would, that you're like, that's ridiculous. Do you want to think that Jacksonville's grandma Lee was from there? You remember grandma Lee?

No. Cause it's either one that was like, please bring up some grandma Lee comedy. Wait, uh, No. Isn't she the one that was like, please forget some grandma Lee comedy? Wait, I think that's like the raspy like these kids talking about back in the day Back in what fucking day Dude you coming out of Jacksonville you gonna be fucking the grandma Lee which is right. She did like good on the list. I'm extending She did oh, so she's recent. Yeah, grandma Lee is a little devolved from Jacksonville They do all yeah shit and limp is get dude

Do what a holy Trinity grandma Lee little do ball and limp is good dude Jackson it looks like limp is good I've never been never been to Jackson that club is great The staff is awesome dude. it's really like a- I was gonna say managers. They're really good club. I said Christine, you're gonna jump consulting comedy clubs. But managers that don't know- No, don't put on a mergist.

Got talent, that's what you do. Just get a set of hers. Managers that don't know comedians is, it's great when they bump up against comedians that think they're more important than they are. When you just have that person that's like, I don't know what this is. You know, you know, I'm talking about comics that are like, you ever seen someone get the

air pulled out of their sail? Comics that are like doing well and there's something that's like, I don't know what you do. And there's just that apathy towards them. Oh, yeah. It's very funny. Oh, yeah. It's very, very funny.

Especially when you hear like demands that comics make on the road. If you run into one of those managers, it's like, I don't even know what this is. This is basically, I work at a restaurant. That's the way I look at it. And they're like, I was, I was very big on, you know, funny to watch that. Was funny. It shut them down. It's funny. It's Christine feels, and I get it. It's sweet of her. I'll tell you on the air, you don't have to do this because you're not doing it, but it just makes when I get there, I feel bad. Cause I get to go, where do you want the, uh, die of peach snapples? I was like, die of peach snapples, I go, what she says, you're a manager. Say we asked, uh, you know, if you want anything backstage at all, and she said die of peach

snapples, I was like, Oh, yeah, I mean, I drink, that's what I drink at home. But you know, you don't have to like, like, well, we got a, like a six or eight, eight of them. So it is every day backstage, you know, be there. And I'm just like, So, and it was every day backstage, you'll be there. And I'm just like, yeah, it's a good point. You don't have to say that. I thought they put it in the room. One time they put it in the room. When they put it in the room, it's great.

When they put it in my bedroom now, where was that American comedy company maybe? They did it right. They what? Yeah. In your hotel room? Uh-huh. How?

A nice aider. Did they check you in? and I don't know, dude, some snacks. And I think a pack of smokes. What? It's very nice, very nice. Oh man, now with legal weed states, you could probably start asking for joints and fucking. Oh there, I think I think there was also weed maybe. Oh, there, you know, there's no, I don't have to weed in the room. I wouldn't be saying this out loud because every comic that hears this that works American comedy company is going to be like, so do you want my drink order right now or do you know, American? You're gonna put it

in it. You're gonna put it in my room. It was snapple. It wasn't fucking skullhead vodka. Dan Acroids finest. Dan Acroids finest skullhead. I'll come off the wagon for Acroids, fucking skull vodka. Yeah, I mean the wagon for acroids, fucking skullbaka. You know, I mean, just being in that workshop took me back to early comedy, like so much. That's what I mean, it's the seriousness

that they take it that you realize. It's like when we saw that open mic the other night. What I feel bad for is the people in there who like, I don't know if they're going anywhere. I don't know, but like someone who's 27 to 35. Like those people in there that I feel bad because I'm just like I don't even know if you're not even getting good advice at all. Now like what's the point of the take to go and I don't know if it does good. Oh I guess it does it does I guess going and having your jokes just have no reaction from

an empty room. It's repetition. It makes you tough. It's something it builds, but like at the end of the day, like, how much do you gotta do it? I'm no hack. I'm not repeating my joke. I understand that Jacob. No one ever said you were. I was just saying you might benefit from a comedy course.

Damn. Man, getting those notes from someone that you don't find funny Like if you and they know each other it's a small scene. Oh, yeah, when is it Bell? It took the Comedy class remember she came back she was like to keep telling me to like change the lines of the jokes And I was like oh, yeah, I should tell you this in the beginning don't listen to anything they say about comedy Just do the assignments they give you, which was 14. And then she's like, yeah, I was like, yeah, just like if they're saying like today,

this week, right about your family, right? Something personal, this one, right? Observational, right? Something about I go, just do that. I go, when they're they tell you like, you should really think about approaching it. I go, if they knew what they're telling you, they wouldn't be teaching it to you.

Yeah, so I'm like, don't worry about that. Did this lady... I'm gonna let some fucking wash up teach my kid comedy. I'm here. Fucking nuts. Get the stink off her. Yeah, what are you nuts? You're gonna put your bullshit in her? Get out of here.

Well, become friendly enough with the owner of the club that eventually they feel terrible for you And they find a way to give you another paycheck I have when you rip people off for public speaking gigs Man if you're funny and you take your comedy class you have if there has to be a love moment or you're like One one comic who I've respect genuinely. There's like a good comic and teaches guys. It's karsan Yeah karsan's total comedy class for a long time and so they got, but like besides that, I'm always like, it's a cash grab. That's how you know I'm doing hard drugs.

Start doing dance, comedy college. I said, I would have, my thing was going to be to break the mold of it. I said, when Wayne was asking me, everybody, Wayne, he was like, do, he's a teacher's comedy class. Now I was like, all right, you know what? I think I could offer like valuable information to comedy courts. You'd have to submit by showing post shots. First thing to do here comedy school.

Let me see your box, hilarious. Or is it all nice and toy? Ooh. No, I was, it was, I just, I think it's an information that could probably help. And I can think of things to tell people to do for homework or whatever and get people to talk. And then he was, I was like,

but I just wanna do like young comics. Like people who wanted to like, you know, young people kind of, like, save them some time on some shit, maybe they can get better. And see, also it gives you kind of cool the opportunity to see someone like, oh wow, they have like a, you know,

if I saw Kurt, if I was an established comic, I saw the level of Kurt when he first started, I would be like, Jesus. Kurt's good jokes. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Out of the game, even if I would be like, these aren't great jokes.

I'm like, no one this young at this should be writing this good joke. These are like, pretty elaborate. You blown away by his jokes immediately. And so, and he was like, no, no, no, you gotta teach like, the guy who got a new job and has to give reports that he wants to speak publicly better, a nervous guy who's using as a singles club basically, and so I'm like, oh, I didn't write away, I was just like, no, no, no,

I don't want to do that. I go, then it is just like a cash grab really. I'm like, I don't want to say I'm teaching it, and then not really, because I don't care about that guy. Yeah. But you guys, I just want to pay not to be nervous when I give or put you. and teaching it and then not really, because I don't care about that guy. Yeah. But you guys, like, well, I just want to pay not be nervous when I give or put you.

What's the post looking like in this situation? Yeah. You just fucking, you breathe in on an apple for me? If I were a 90s network executive, I would green light two seasons of you teaching a night school of stand-up comedy. Night school? Immediately.

Have you just having a bunch of businessmen and teachers and socially awkward bus drivers? No, the reality show should be of me teaching the reality. F**k reality. Scripted. Here's a good reality. How about me teaching the, okay, even if it's a made up story

of me teaching, you know, they actually have the comedy DUI classes What yeah, I know they have DUI classes at comedy clubs But I think you comedy ones. I don't think they're comedy classes. I thought they were comedy based No, you think they just use a space for DUI class. Yeah, no, I think they get you sense it's space By the way, I think we're thinking of the same play. I think cap city used to do it. Yeah Wait, there's like funny DUI class. I don't think it's space by the way I think we're thinking of the same play I think cap city used to do it yeah wait There's like funny DIY class. I don't think it's funny. It is. I think it's just do I class

No, they were just using the space they ran to why would they announce it But why would they announce no I think a comedian teaches it so you get like a funny course Look it up you go hey, what happened you Christine? Christine? Oh, Christine would have had these things up already. I feel like everything I gotta say, I look at you and you go, is that even possible? You're the internet person. Look it up. I mean, but how do you make a DUI class funny?

You're like, listen, I know you wrapped that family a three around that telephone call. Like fun and the funniest. But if you wrap a family through that telephone you're not gonna be defensive driving court. This is just like getting caught thinking like, you know, we're like, oh, just dropping my kid off. Yeah, this wasn't like you know I forced that truck off the road and I

I fell asleep with the wheel and now my cousin's gone because the four car pile up put Tracy Morgan in the coma Sky flip three times. Shut up. His eight year old has to eat through his belly button Yeah, the guy from Walmart that almost killed Tracy Morgan did kill Uncle Jerry Mac. That guy definitely wasn't the same because Steve Burns really got a lot of information on drinking and driving. You guys are gonna shit about this, but I was trying to forget Steve Hofstetter. And by the way,

Steve Hofstetter, a big shitty comic, so yeah. By the way, and Steve Hofstetter, fuck, and he buried me when I heckled him. I'm a heckler and I got this for personal aid. By the way, and Steve Hofstetter fucking he buried me when I heckled him I'm a heckler and I got this for the road what what a reputation because for his comedy that I really genuinely don't know I may have seen a clip ever once and I go oh Steve Hofstetter. Yeah, it's funny But somebody sucks. I'm like damn what a reputation that guys got. I don't even know if he sucks I don't know. Maybe genius. I call him Steve the destroyer He just stays online. Yeah, I call it a gozer. Yeah, he just destroys hecklers.

Go ahead Comedy traffic school. Oh, it's traffic school. All right. No, but that's what it is. Is that DUI school? Yeah, you have to go to traffic school. But is it, is it you're funny? Do you send my certificate to the court or do you send it to me? We submit it. No, we pye you in the face. And then we give it to you. We accept MasterCard, Visa, yeah, Seltzer, Seltzer bottles. SXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Fucking joke. Yeah, I know. Fucking joke. Well, let's get the, where the, is the comedian teach it?

Free preview. Dude, I wouldn't. Uh, there we go. Eric Astrada. What? Hang on. Chips. Watch Eric Astrada as funny friends.

Oh, cause yeah, traffic school. Oh, uh, you know, yes, dude. Oh, I yeah, traffic school. Oh, you know what? Yes, dude. Oh, whatever. ComedyTrafxchool.com is proud to introduce our brand new, all-visual, all-on-line video course. It's as easy as watching TV. That's right, no more reading endless pages of text.

Our new approach is exactly what our students have demanded and it's finally here. Acturing comedian Regan Burns, our own superstar captain traffic and a few funny friends will take you on a hilarious show. Who are those friends? Easy and fun. Do we buy it? Guys, I think I need to go to traffic school. Wait, keep going. We're having a party, man. Yeah, what's the preview of the other one? I don't know, but I'm excited to watch this. Are you sick of driving and falling asleep? If you have narcolepsy.

Oh, this one's just podcast. I got it. It's read. Yes, it's just audio. So I mean, it is an audio medium Damn they took it down damn take that I heard the listen for people the listen version has to deal Spotify like Rogan They paid the listen version a hundred million dollars. No, wait a second go to the comedy breaks Mm-hmm comedy breaks Okay, hilarious study breaks best gymnastic fails ever baseball follies a Sign felt bit David Spade bit toy vehicles gone bit that's a

100% guaranteed to pass we don't care. Yeah, give us your money. Reagan burns from Comedy Central does this whole thing. What a cash grab. That's weird. That old Comedy Central logo rules. It does rule. But that's, this is weird. Yeah. That's very, very weird. I'm looking forward to Danza Rhythmatic. Come on down to Danza Rhythmatic. Come on down to Danza Rhythmatic. We have Down-it, Barbecue, and more.

Danza's teaching a new tasty math class. It's like a Sylvan Learning Center, but hilarious! With racks of ribs and funny! Can you play David Spade's... Is it just like... Yeah, they just use comedy to be like driving's crazy, ain't it? Race car driver Holy shit. Sorry this video is not found as due to rights restrictions, so they're not allowed to use the stuff

He said it was like yeah, you can use that bit Because YouTube wasn't cracking down so much on Seinfeld. Damn, Seinfeld does his best tight five. Enjoy everyone traffic school. I can't tell what he has to do with traffic school. Yeah, I have no idea what it means. You get in trouble and is this in Austin? Where is this? No, I think it's online. I don't know. This one's just online. This is just online. If you get in trouble, how would you not do this? You're going to regular.

See you anyway. They're like in my hometown. They're in El Segundo. El Segundo. Oh, they're well there. Oh my god. I got to get it. I got scots to get it. Christine, you have 75 hometowns. By the way, there's not one of those play you are from Hermosa Manhattan now El Segundo That's a new one on the fire. There's it's there's all these different cities that are all part of something called the South Bay And I'm from I'd say I'm from the South Bay, but it's like El Segundo and have someone say they're from Philly when they're from Ardmore Ardmore jacket fucking Ardmore you're not from El Segundo You're from Ard you don'tdmore. Jacket. Fucking Ardmore. You're not from El Segundo.

You're from Ard. You don't hang on the same place as Tribe Called Quest hangs out. You're just from Ardmore. You're from Ardmore. You're from El Segundo. No shit, did you? It smells bad there. Why did you almost move there?

Did you want to get real authentic eyeliner tattoos? Mm. Mm. Let's start with what's your name? Cute. What eyeliner tattoos eventually become beneficial if you did it, because then you just like, well, I don't have to spend any time doing it.

But Max's mom has them. She has tattooed makeup. Oh, crazy. That's so close to your eye. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And I think they just do it straight up, like a needle, like anything else.

No. It's pretty wild. I'm gonna do it to my eyebrows. Shave my eyebrows off and get in tattoo eyebrows. Oh, I will not treat you. Straight troll. I will not treat you any different. What straight troll eyes?

I will treat you exactly the same. I mean, hey, Dan, you think it's almost done to go to commercial break? Yeah. Yes, say. What's up, it's me, Lilith Sleepy! We should go to commercial break, that's what we should be in the team.

Perhaps we should take our first commercial break. You've been listening to... SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!