The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Comedy Express (feat. Keith Robinson)

Episode Date: March 24, 2023

The great Keith Robinson calls in to explain his old stand-up gang, "The Comedy Express!" Comic Jon Carden hangs out for the fun.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM. For full episodes of the Bond Fire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly. Hey Bobby can you human toilet me? I can spit in your mouth so you can get some sous livers.

To human toilet me. We're back, bonfire. Faction talk. Hell yeah. Serious XM. I'm Robert Kelly. That's Big Jay Okreson. We're having Akins, Keto.

What is Akins? What is Akins? Keto peanut butter cups. I've been bringing healthy snacks in a, and I've been rejected except for today Everybody jumped everybody jumped in on a sugar free cookies, and they were absolutely terrible John's mouth is all mucked up It's all peanut butter dude Jacob loved it. John Carn's gonna be the house of comedy in Phoenix, Arizona It's March 30th through April 2nd. My first headline in

weekend. You guys are like, right? Hell yeah. Well, you can sit in the chair and stare at an empty bed, I guess. Go to a tummy timeless bed. I know you're without me in Spokane. I'm sorry. Go to at going to the John on Instagram. It's J.O.N. J.O. Ed. We're both going to be at the Nashville comedy festival. Do you know they had now? Do you look it up? They didn't know to yet. It's not on the website yet. Nothing.

Nothing is. It's so close. I know it's close. Very close. Kid Rock show and then we're doing a show together as lovers in the night. Yeah. Just two guys. We're going to do a live sex show.

We're going to do a live sex show with each other. I went to that in Amsterdam. VIP passes on with Joe DeRosa Marina Franklin Maybe even I think Rachel Feinstein was there and yeah, and we went there nice We went there and watch that live sex show everyone was having such a good time with the novelty fat stripper and then the muscular guy comes out and does this thing. We're all having a good time. A couple of hot girls come out and strip and then a couple gets and the state starts fucking and everyone gets like, oh, should we go?

It seems wrong. Even though I thought I was like, this is going to be the best thing ever. I'm like, I don't know. It seems weird. It does seem weird. Even the godfather with that scene and then they was like, yeah, look at it. Look at it. It's like, oh, this is weird.

Why are they getting in this? Four guys together just watching a guy with a donkey penis, do some weird stuff to a chick's fake strap to a pole. Where was that even happening? Is it still happening? Is there an address for that, Bobby? Cuba. Cuba.

Cuba. You look at Florida. Cuba, so gross. Tijuana. So, so gross. And we have a very special guest calling in very shortly. And it's from yesterday's show we had Keith Roberts in the legend. I mean, one of the legends, one of, he's actually a mentor of a big J and a little hard.

Wanda Sykes, a lot of people, generations. Generation to got Keith is the reason I started coming to New York. He got us into the mainstream scene, introduced me to the Patrices and Bobby's and Colin Quinn's and all these people. It was the conduit for all of that. I owe him so much and he would tell us stories. Some of them cautionary on what like not to do in comedy.

Yeah, the funniest thing that Keith did though that made me laugh when he comes on was he would tell me and Kev, all this stuff. He does. Kev had a lot of music cues and I had some for sure. And he was just doing that. He said, you guys getting too wrapped up in like the black circuit comedy, because you don't want to do that shit. You know, anyone can do that. It's just like smoking mirrors. You got to write funny jokes and then Keith Headlined one weekend at the Laugh House once and me and he's like you know told me and kept to come hang and watch and we did and

Keith kept doing like you can't do drive-boss to old 70s music Well DJ hit it. He was doing like all the music. And then at the end, we were like, Keith, the three sets, like Corny and like Hackey to do a bunch of music cues. Do as I say, play it. Not as I do. You know what?

I'm a... We were going, I used to do my first calls, Gays with him, and I did my first flight with him. And I mean, going through the airport, every girl he was talking to, every single girl he'd buy, he'd go up, start yapping, then there was one of the ugliest females I've ever seen in my life. He walked up to her. I think I stopped him. And he starts talking to her, he gives her his card and I'm like, what are you doing? He goes practice motherfucker, practice.

He's the ugly ones for practice for the hot ones. this motherfucker practice. Choose the ugly ones for practice for the hot ones. Gettin' in reps. Practice. He's gonna put in his 10,000 hours of trying to get pussy. So in some of those stories he would tell me, he did tell me stories that we were like a crew. And I think it just like,

when I was taking all the Keith information, it was something that didn't come up a lot. And he said it once and I was just like, well that's kind of like, he's saying that was like the past, so it's nothing to really, that's due with me. So I kind of forgot about it. And then Bobby brought it up yesterday. You know, happy it makes me that I'm ruining

the way you remember Keith, I'm actually putting it into real perspective right now. I was a Keith was, and probably not a ton of years removed, 10 years, removed from being in his comedy gang. And and he told me stories, but I didn't know that Bobby told me there is in fact a B. T. News local local B. T. News in local black news in local black news

There's a local back live there's a loose pit bull running around on a This is it the line for the new Popeye sandwich is died down So this is news with comedy expressed and we're gonna jump ahead a little bit. She's got to catch Keith. They all do Christine give them a little taste of each guy doing their own thing because I don't know If they're an improv trooper what but they all try to do a little A little something funny themselves for the camera. Yeah, but Keith's the worst What's the you've jumped way ahead? I was just going to this guy stand and watch me No, but we need to focus much more on Keith.

Do you want to go straight to Keith? Yeah, we watched this guy twice, I think. It comes up twice. So everybody's giving like an interview of who they are, who they are in the group, their personality. Yeah, the guy was first guy. And then Keith decides to mix it up. Everybody's just sitting in a chair talking,

but Keith doesn't do that. He puts his jacket up, fake on a hanger like it was there. Who's like you Warren? Who's the hot one? I'm a couple of group I've ever seen. Who's the gay one? Who's the bad one? Or a bowling league.

They look like the gay gang in the Warriors. Yeah, they have the jackets of an old white man duop group. Yeah. Keith Robinson one tour. Hey, you guys don't get to interview me, don't you? I think I can make room for you guys. My busy schedule.

Yeah, no, you want to know what I'm talking about. Can I stop for one second? Sure. He doesn't know, he's so not in the business. He doesn't know where to look. He's looking at the person in the room and then back at the camera and then back at the person. He has no idea. He should just stay with the camera. If there's the MBTs, he's got a cam with a giant light blasting

in his face as you can see for sure in the room behind him. There's a BHS in that recorder right now. Also for sure, probably a beta max. And they, uh, the sweater and the satin jacket kite, the thing doesn't work. Yeah, nothing work. The sweater doesn't read gang to me. Leather buttons on the sweater, I feel like you know I'm talking about this brown leather buttons. It's a cardigan. The jacket, I feel like you're going to park it outside of an Italian restaurant. Yeah, it's he does. That's exactly it does. He looks like he's a valet in a place. I straight up. And I tell you what, he was trying to get a job as a valet that day. And he didn't think he was going to get hired on the spot. Carlos didn't show up. So if you wouldn't mind, and he goes, I guess I could do a shift. and he just threw it on over his sweater, it's cardigan.

He goes, I got stuff to do, but also, I can do this. I don't like his hat that doesn't fit. Oh. We're the legend of Keith Robinson, first began. Keith, I'm gonna let you know, because you guys are special, BET. Well, it all started when I was young, very young. When I first had this attitude, this attitude

problem that I have now, see my mom, she wouldn't let me suffocate the cat. I got ticked off, ran away from home when I was two years old, packed my pamphlets up and got the heck out of the place. I didn't need the pressure. And with me, I've always been funny, I've always. All right now, I mean, you're bombing. You're packed. You dropped the pamper. You're suffocating cat story bombed.

Packed up the pamper. I didn't realize how bad this was. Like, that was bad time. How? Who laughs at suffocating cat jokes? Well, it's just that I haven't even goes, my mom, she wanted to have a suffocating cat see now. So, and I think when the camera person was just dead facing him,

he goes, so that didn't work out, so I was two years old and I left the house. And you're like, packed up my panties. You know, that's my favorite line. That's when he looked at her and looked at them because they both looked at each other like, what the fuck are we doing?

This is just everything all right. This guy's murdering kids. This isn't live, is it? Ha ha. Ha ha. Oh, can we edit it out? Maybe people are. He says, live, is it? Ha ha. Ha ha. Oh. Can we edit it out of people? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Told story to my brothers and everything just want to smooth for me. And I'm just great. Come to express. What?

I'm just great. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Who's after him? One more of these guys. Oh, Nick reads the manager. Oh

So Nick's the blame for that so the comedy group is just the three of them Well, the manager's part of the group. Yeah, man is a part of the group too comedy express When I was a young dumb trailer park kid thinking I could be a rapper. I'm glad there wasn't a camera anywhere near me I'm glad because this is You thought you could be a rapper. Oh, absolutely there wasn't a camera anywhere near me. I'm glad because this is You thought you could be a rapper. Oh, absolutely. Can you look at stop look at all their faces as the managers talking They're all going what the fuck did we do? Why do we give Nick all of our money to buy these goddamn jackets? They're all on these stairs and they're looking down like we're gonna get killed for this

It's horrible give Keith on now. We got the great Keith Robinson on right now. Please, Bobby, bring him in. Hey, how are those cats that you killed? Fun feels that Keith, it came as you know, it's funny. I keep saying i i remember now when we would drive up in the focus uh... and we and you would tell us

me and kevlick stories of comedy express but it i don't think of the youtube i was never able to put a face to what this was and boy oh boy man they set you guys up for failure. First of all, no one knew the BET had nightly news. I don't think that this happened still. Yeah. It goes.

Thank you comedy express. Thank you comedy express. And now for weather on the ones on the fours. Is there like, thank you. I like it weather on the ones on the fours. Is there late? I like it. Thank you. I like it. I thank you.

I like it. Keith was Nick Reed, just a manager, or was he also a comedian? Because when he speaks in this interview, you guys don't look happy. They don't look happy, Jay, because they know they fucking the stinks They're literally going why are we doing this? No, it didn't think No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no And we got a half hour special on what? Yeah, prison. What was that true?

What's prison? I'll tell you exactly what prison is of these being honest. Prison was for Philadelphia garbage like myself and Keith who couldn't get full cable. Filly just made like a cable station and you have to get an antenna for one station Prism and it was like where you can see movies it had nudity and stuff on it and they had a couple I think you had a press you had a prism

How did four how did four guys have a half hour special? The time doesn't add up. What? What did you do for half hour special? Even the plastic cup boys all get eight minutes. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you a question, comedy express. No, I won't tell you.

Oh, please. We got white guys, and it's two. What? White guys drink comedy stress We brought them a girl was so cock big daddy's grand. Oh, oh There was more white guys in too. Oh, so how so you weren't the only comedy express you are the founders and then you let Other people I am and then you let other people. I am, I am, Cowley threat. That's like the an1 mix tape to it.

I am. And so I've always said Ralph Trezvan is new addition, but that's what he said. That's what Keith Robinson was. So how do you get a jacket like? You know what I mean? How did you get your jacket? Well, you had to get jump in.

I'll be short-dend. That's what I was saying for something. You had to shed blood for somebody. You had to cut somebody. It's the first three minutes of your first that you get beat up. Hey, Keith, can I ask you a question? The joke about the kill in the

kit, the cats, when you went, I can't. I want to know joke. You packed up your pamphor and took off at two years old because your mom couldn't understand your style. She was hating. What? What is it? I don't understand the joke, though. There's no joke that you said, I killed the kittens and she didn't think it was funny Like what what what was the joke? You always had a bad attitude

That's there you go for day. Yeah, I know it's up This is a silly thing looking for guys on a stoop talking that shit. We're in team jackets. Yeah, it's crazy about that. I mean, like if you went to the gig and you forgot your jacket, did you have to go home and get it? Okay, you still do the show. No, I never got my jacket. I tell you where I like your guy. Keith, am I right about this though? And this is no disrespect to Ralph. And I don't know the other two guys at all.

The one we thought was the guy who would rape all the people of college, but gigs, but it's not him. What was his name? Vince champ. Vince champ. The other one was the college rapist guy, but it's not him. So I'd take that back. But you, I don't know Ralph and remonstraight background at all either,

but you were from like before you were in comedy express, like you said that you were like in like task or projects basically like fighting and you guys said you were working concerts and shit like that. So it is funny that like he was he was the bad boy. He was the bad boy. The comedy expressed Keith Robinson killing cats man Packing diapers for a shit killing it in my fight There should have been a one nine hundred number at the end of that

He goes you want to talk to me the bad boy mama kicked me out when I was two years old because nobody can hold me down I'm a wild man And they just was like a some kind of a weird like body, like body hump. And tips his hat and roll some of the arm. And he flips it back up. You ever see videos where male strippers introduce themselves? I'm an Akonda, and I'm here for your pleasure. Mm-hmm.

I'm Keith Robinson. I kill kittens and I kill pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't want to stand there, I'll pack up my pamph papers and move on you know my papers are magnum papers so those

satin jackets set protected you because they knew yeah because all the guys got around no everybody is going to fight everybody. White, black, the two Chinese, whatever we fought. Did they have jackets too? That's everybody who each other was. Everyone had their jackets.

Well, they're the Chinese Express. Yeah. Yeah. They got you in the house in 30 minutes. I'm trying to use express. That's how you know who won. This is wearing the jacket. I'm sorry, I'm just expressing stress. That's how you know who won. This is wearing the jacket. We're beginning.

It was all just different like arts, like comedy express, acoustic guitar express. Just off-shoots. You all got to realize your disrespecting comedy express, but it started off for a lot of fucking things. What? In silly and beyond.

Everybody before with us. You say, President, wouldn't have made it without it. Warren Hutchinson. Warren. For sure. Warren, young Wanda. Did Wanda get a jacket? Yes.

Did Wanda have to get a jacket? Did you make a roll of the dice? And you guys all did her? Women, women don't get jackets. They get sweaters. Hey, Rhonda what roll the dice Why be gonna pink sweater me and the Harris brothers and Vince champ are gonna take turns fucking you That's what happens to the girls in the games Did you guys know see that one movie where that happens? That does happen to the girls in the games.

Nick Reed for the record looks shistly. He's your man, Jeff. Is he your cousin? He took the money, didn't he? Yeah, it is. It just, you know, reminds me me of the remind me of guys like and I don't know Did did Boston have this Bobby Philly? Most certainly did especially in the black scene the guys who were like local

criminals basically, but they would try to jump into like legitimate like management like kev at one point You remember this Keith was managed my guy's name Lynn Lynn and Kendall, which is too, too, too, drove Lincoln navigators for some reason. We didn't have that, but also we didn't have his pussies and satin jackets walking around the comedy clubs. Yeah, because you get come stains all over them. That's right. You guys were gay up there. Why are you letting it fill your rules, boss, your rules. I love you guys to come into fucking Boston by the shick ticked out of you by Steve Sweeney and Don Gavin.

He's fucking fairies came in with jackets on, like slippery jackets. Oh, Lenny Clarks, a big boy. How'm gonna go behind him low? You go high. Don't even give me started on the hats. Who's that fucking kid? We were the shit out of Boston County. I agree.

I agree, Keith. All day long. 100% you wouldn't have. I think we should do this as like a celebrity boxing match, like a Jake Paul type of thing. What? We would have tore Boston County's ass out. They're fake.

No, 100% you wouldn't have. What? I'll say it again. ballroom college ass out that's it that's big no 100% you wouldn't what? i'll say it again what do you mean 100% 100% Keith and your little gang, your little fucking do-up gang

what have got your asses gidd dude, the black circle can you fill it off for ya? was its own violent situation it wasn't like things were good. It was like, I tell you remember that Keith, that first show I did away from the Laugh House,

I always told you that Roy's comfort zone. My mother literally, she goes, where's it at? And I went up and Cecil B. Moore and Broad Street. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she goes, don't go over there. I go, no, they're paying me $50 to go. She goes, I'll give you $50 if you please don't go over there. And I'm like, mom, it's my art.

I'll give you $50 and a satin jacket. And just stutters. I'll make you your own satin jacket, honey. It's not the same. I gotta earn my stripes. I gotta earn my satin. I don't even know what I like to do. Now who do you think will win, Jay?

The Philly Whites are the boss of the Whites. And a good fight. We're talking the Whites now. Oh, now how far do we go back? I mean, Dom Myraera is an- 70 Whites was unstoppable. You can talk to Dom, I rara. I love Dom, but that little pot belly to town.

Yeah, no, at no point was he gonna hold our own damn dude. Our Philly whites were lacking, Keith, I gotta be honest with you. Yeah, Philly whites would. I mean, we had Lenny Clark, we had Don Gav, we have Dennis Leary. But I'm telling you, our black circuit had, I mean, repeat offender criminals. Oh, I, I, I 100%. We have Patrice. You'd be like, hey, where's Buck Wilden to go?

The cops shot him. He's alive, but he's in jail for the next 11 years. And you're like, oh, I think I owed him money. I feel like the only way this argument ends is with YouTube fighting. No, no, no, we're old man, dude. We're paying us our part. Tell me time, buddies. We're talking time. No, no, no, we're old man, dude. We're past our time. We're tummy time, buddies.

We're tummy time. We got to get other younger comics to do this. Yeah. Yeah. New Philly crew is pretty scrappy. God damn right, dude. Give me a Dave Temple. Who you put up against Dave Temple?

I got no. Yeah, I got no. You have a Joeless wire, yes? Yeah, I know. We really went downhill. We went downhill. We got nobody. You guys just. Yeah. Joeless, why are you? Yeah, I know. We really went downhill.

We're down there. We got nobody. You guys will go, you guys will stay behind a locked gate and yell racist things and it's all. Get that blacks and his due friends. Huh? Mads Kirk can be scary. Mads Kirk is a scary fight. Why don't you because you feel like he won't know?

It was hard to know. Mads Kirk is a scary fight because you don't want because you feel like he won't know. He was hot. He was hot. Metzger's a scary fight because you don't know if his like, like when his eyes are going to come back to the front of his head again, and he's going to like not keep going. Oh, they're going to go black like a shark. It seems like yeah, like it seems like he's a zone out, a complete zone out, Kurt, and then just goes forward. Went at the seller the one time when I was down there and some guy was being shitty with him in the audience when Kirk got off stage, the guy came over and around Shaq, clapped him in the, like just slapped him in the side of the head, but it boxed Kurt's ear and

Kurt, like I said, like that, his eyes rolled in the back of his head. And like, do you remember the movie The Lost Boys? Remember when the vampires would run towards each other, it's a very long distance with arms already out. That's what Kurt started to. He just went to the guy with like a Frankenstein like forcefulness and just brought him down the ground and did go. He like fucked the dude up pretty good. Like he was floating like it was on roller skates. Yep. Yeah. It was like Spike Lee. He was gonna Spike Lee Dolly. And Kurt just went forward and just pounded this guy with pure just Frankenstein-esque rage. It was bizarre. So Kurt is a pretty scary fight, but it's not a skill thing for sure. Yes. Kurt is scary. Keith's scary. Sure. He has nothing to lose.

Except his satan. Whoa. Keith's in an age now where he keeps a gun and he calls it a pistol. Keith, not now. Now you have stuff, but back then you had nothing to lose. And there's a lot of law. What?

Haban on TV. That was 86. That was that game, because 86. law what happened on TV that was a six that that that that that that that that that that three channels that you have to keep his he was on the square big wooden TV that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that this. I think he calls this gun Pampers because he's always packing it. I am I am bomb that I didn't catch the prism special and I'd like to find it. What do you think prism keeps their archives? Where's prisms old shit? Yeah I can't even find my seesaw show anywhere. Let alone prism. God came. What happened? What happened? What happened with the jacket my friend? Did you do still have it?

Or did you wind up did you have to give it back when you left? Is it a rental? No, is it a whole thing? A town. It's hanging at Wells Fargo. How many I have a question. Keith, how many jackets were dulled out? how many were given was it exclusive few or was it dime It doesn't if you roll with the comedy express

Tony Woods Did you give Tony Woods one of the satin jackets he brought that DC bullshit probably called someone a banner Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha God How you doing? Where'd you guys you guys meet over that uh that Baltimore bridge and just fucking yo mama joke each other Lose rest to give the other guy Listen, I mean, I don't Bobby. Did you have you had inter like comedy fights things? Do you remember Keith? I'm when we were driving up all the time I stayed behind one time to do um I remember when we were driving up all the time I stayed behind one time to do Javon Pearson show which was a place called Boots and Barrett's under the highway and I had I did it and

He wasn't paying me and he kept having me come back week after week to not pay me and It'll give me some of the money and somebody come back again next week And then we found out one time he asked kev to do the show too and kev was like I don't know man You keep having Jay and you're here the money's not right and he goes no no no the money's fine Like we the money's good. He goes don't listen to that. He goes. I'll make sure We already have the budget ready to go and if not he goes. I'll just Give Jay less again. I don't think he just knew that me and Kev were like close like that. We were playing like Madden while that phone call happened. And I was like, y'all going there tonight and just getting my money and not performing.

And I went there, remember? I almost like, he had a security guy with him and it was a whole, but I like bitched him out. And he gave me the money and I left and I came back so confident about that. And I can't give you a jacket when you got back. He did not give me a jacket, but he gave me the money and I left and I came back so confident about that and I'll give you a jacket when you go back he did not give me a jacket but he told me he said young fella that's comedy express material haha we couldn't find enough worms to make the jackets haha you're not ready yet player but then I went do you remember this Keith and then I

did another shitty show in Ocean City a couple weeks later. I think it was the night I picked you up from hitting a deer. I was driving back from it. I was doing a show in Ocean City that started late and the guys weren't gonna give me my money. Like they're, yeah, we're not giving you, we gave the gamey last night was like, now I still got for myself.

And I was like, no more. Go get my money. Like get my money and I'll wait here and get my money. And they were like, okay, we'll go get your money and they left the room. And I remember I started smoking one of their menthol cigarettes that I just saw on there. And I'm like, that's how it rolls now. I'm not leaving without getting my money. And they just came back with two other guys and beat me up. And then Keith told me goes, I just hit a deer on the therm bike.

Come grab me. And I'm fucking there. We had so many roads. When Keith hit that deer, he told me, go, you okay? He goes, I fucking deer, destroyed, you okay? He goes, ah, fucking dear, he goes destroyed my car, total my car, took a fat shit of my hood, and ran off into the woods and probably died. And I just took that in his like Keith

saying at the funniest way possible. And when I got there and the tow truck I got there, his car was caved in, what, looking, it was around a fucking moose. And right in the middle of it, a fat perfect pier made a soft serve deer shit exactly what happened yeah

they had a prize galaro he was with his friends upstate and they hit a deer in the ass swung around and hit the side door and the shit when the kids face on the passenger seat yeah I was just fucking staves. Oh man, that was and then one time Keith thank God it was his beater car. He got like a shitty beater car because we were putting too many miles on the focus. The fourth focus was the beater. We were putting too many month. The fourth focus was sharp. We thought it was great. I think I had a five this changer in the front. Where you put you could put five in one

slot. I mean, look, Keith would take you. We'd always go and start his car because make sure it starts early. Oh, yeah. How many times? No, Keith, remember the time you actually, I forgot my, we went all over to his house with a flying out of Newark.

And I forgot my license, my ID on the upper side. I've never seen somebody so mad that Keith Robinson. God damn young motherfucker. Who forgets the license? Well Keith, when we were, remember being in the beater car and you were felt, you fell asleep on the, you thought I was getting you back because one time we had like a, a small like car arguments. I was sleeping at one point in the car when Keith was driving. You've done that to me. I'm not apologizing to Keith or Kevin Hart for falling asleep in a car. They used to just go start sleeping the second I let we left New York. And I was why I started smoking cigarettes.

Just because I need company. Yeah, yeah, hope that it's selling your lap. Stay alive. But they would crash out. And when I crashed out the one night night Keith was getting annoyed with me snoring So he just did a little jerk of the wheel Which was funny because it's supposed to make you kind of do like that little like your head comes up And then you tap back on the thing and it wakes up

But this car was like It was his beater car. It was made of like steel Like now was made of like steel. Like, he was made of like, now, just like steel and hard plastic. So when I do like drill, they like run my bell when he did it and Keith laughing at it. I'm getting genuinely mad.

And he's like, shot up. And I'm like, it's just fucked up. Keith, look at her. Keith thought for years and I got him back for that by one time. I couldn't even still tell you what the hell it was. And a dark turnpike Me and Keith are driving on Keith's asleep. I'm not getting him back at all

There's something in the road. I didn't see it all I know it. I was wide awake All I know is we were when Keith woke up it was to me screaming because all four wheels were in the air We were up in the air and then the thing we came down, there was like sparks on the side and pulled over. The only reason he believed that wasn't like, didn't fall sleep or something is because if you remember, we got out of the car and it just happened to the next like seven cars. They were just bottoming out. We had to get like a tow truck to come. Oh, did he, did he keep the fire because we do road gigs and he'd play all these buddy. I'm gonna tell you something. The incredible, the incomparable. It's the mighty, mighty delts. I know all the like Keith would make me.

He would make me a soul mix tapes like I was a girl. He was trying to fuck you. He'd be like, that's my hell, you're Jackson young fella. And he'd be like, all right, we'll leave him right after the show. Keith, it's a nine hour drive back. I got to be back tomorrow and Philly for my son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you drive back.

He dropped me off and he dropped me off in the train station at five in the morning, down to Philadelphia. He goes, don't look at anybody in the eye. You'll be all right, kid. This was aalon films. What I do to Jay, I never liked that. What I do to Jay, you know what you did. I didn't do nothing exactly what you did. Right. They still, they still hold you to the fire for this one.

I'm gonna just say this dude. You, this dude, you're ratting me out. I didn't mean to rat you out. Okay, it's fine Jay, but listen, there was them, and then there was me and you. Sure. Me and you. We were another thing. We became another thing.

We became another thing. I thought that trip was a pure bonding experience. That's what it was. And Keith set you up to get thirmed out. I didn't know. You did what you were absolutely able to do. And I couldn't have thought it was a better experience. Did you pay for gas?

Bobby, no, I did not. Did you pay for food? No, I did not. Did you drive? No, I did drive. Hey, most of it. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What? We already had a court for this. We did. You don't have to court. You were talking about this. I do know this story. I do know this story. I do know this story. There's no statue or limitations on this.

Oh, double, double jeopardy. You can bring this back. No. Yeah. So Bobby was in town. And so we kind of just met Bobby. And they were like, you know, he's you're coming back in town to do a college run pretty soon.

I just got colleges. And he offered it's Kev. For the first time, yeah. And Kev was kind of in the mix And he goes, Kev can't do it and Kev kind of was like, you know Kevin Keith plug you should take Jay Jay to do it. So I was like I'd love to do it I didn't know you not at all. Nope. We get in the car and we go we get along right away. It's great and Bobby same thing Bobby buys meals

Obviously he's not asking me for gas money or doing this thing. We're it's a good. Everything hotel. It's we're we're up and down the thing. And then when we were leaving the only one funny thing was when we were leaving, which by the way, I've had people do wacky things like this for me before too. So I fully get it because I didn't argue at all. We our last show was in Maryland. Bobby was staying with Matt Frost in Midtown, New York. And I lived in South Jersey right by Philly.

And I remember just Keith laughing at the concept of me driving right past my exit three on the term bike. And driving Bobby back up to Manhattan and turning back around. But I told that I was like, no, we had a blast, honestly, and they go, we had a good time, man. We had a good time, they go, what did he pay you? He goes, what did he pay you?

And Bobby's already back in L.A. at this point. What did he pay it? I go, 300. And Keith goes, good, good. He goes, $300 a show, that's cool, Marron, good for him. Good for Keith. And I just, I wasn't upset.

I was just correcting him. I was just correcting him, oh no Keith, 300 total, he gave me $100 a gig. And then the way that spread through the olive tree cafe to patrice to everything, they put Bobby on instant trial. I came in one night, not only. No, no, it's on the phone, they did it over the phone.

You know, remember, you weren't there. It was on speaker phone. That was another trial. I was no, it's on the phone. They did it over the phone. You know, remember you weren't there. It was on the speaker phone. That was another trial. I was on trial. I was a frequent offender in the company court. Yeah. I wrote that. This is up for us.

Yeah. So Bobby was on the phone and they call them up. And the worst part is their force, they're bullying me. My voice out of it because I'm like well this guy just gave me work in three hundred dollars this is great to me I'm like hey could you please stop making it sound like I'm complaining because they're going shut up Jay you should complain and I'm in the background like Bobby I'm not really saying it's so so then Bobby they put him on trial

I think Keith was my lawyer I think but trees trying to defend bobby did work he tried to defend bobby and i wasn't happy with that it took him to task trees dunk it's he really fucking stunk as my lawyer he almost wasn't on your side he was a hundred percent not on the side and then they drew a newspaper on the on the in chalk on the table that drew a picture of me crying been over and Bobby behind bars holding little bars and they call them in the next day I was like shit man the next day I was back so long ago it was at my mom's house on my mom's house phone I don't think I had a cell phone yet on my

mom's house phone I get a call and I answer it and I go hello and you just hear Bobby go you don't tell people what you make dude And then and then our next road gig years later was Mohican son me and Bobby who went to as a good year or so later and as one night and Bobby goes I'll give you 300 dollars for the night and When he was paying me went to the ATM he goes what did I say I was gonna give you I Go 300. I think you said he goes. We here's 400 to go tell people that you fat fuck No, but I was the best part. I thought that was a let I love that he was like tell people that your pieces shit Because they came down on him. They're bobby. You try to rip the chair. I was so mad at you that trip because we were coming back

And we had a long drive back. It was exhausting. It was the gigs weren't the best college gigs We're kind of shitty a little bit some lunch rooms and some of them go. Yeah, they're terrible We have I think the last one was terrible We pulled it off. I think there was no lights. I asked for a water and they gave me a cup of water Lunch room little dixie cup a little day and they gave me a cup of water. Lunch room. Little dixie cup. Little, like a little cup of water like here. It was bad.

That last show sucked and then we stopped at Wendy. And I was furious because he got a, I go, what do you want? I ordered all my food. As a fat fuck, I'm at least I'm gonna be traveling with another fat fuck and we're gonna eat like marinades. What are you order about?

He goes, oh, just give me the taco salad. I was like, what the fuck are you getting? And then we left and he goes, oh damn, I'm like, what? He goes, they didn't put my sour cream. I'm like, I'm trying to get home. I'm fucking exhausted, the gig sucked. We did the tour. Can you make him go back around? I had to go back and I think,, I'm trying to get home. I'm fucking exhausted. The gig sucked. We did the tour. Did you make him go back around? I had to go back and I hit the thing. Can I get the sour cream?

If you got the sour cream, and I just had to say, I had to say it on Bobby, you don't want to make the waves, but I just tell my go, it is just honestly anything that's like Mexican-y, like if there's no sour cream, it's just not even worth it to me. It's like, I get you sour cream. He gets me to, and the funny of how much that annoyed my eating habits annoyed Bobby. When we got back and Keith, you remember this because it was the hardest I've ever laughed at a joke made about me when Bobby goes, this fucking fat shit

is there, and he's not eating. We're supposed to be there eating. I'm supposed to not feel bad about eating in front of him. And now I'm eating shitty food. He's trying to eat a salad at Wendy's. And go yeah, probably I actually don't even eat all that crazy And just without no hands just like a head noddy goes then how did that happen? I deserve a jacket You definitely should get a jacket.

You definitely should get a jacket. How's Bobby not in the express? Keith, strong chance we should bring it back, man. We should bring back the jackets. That mean Bobby. Comedy Express shouldn't come back big time. And I think we get a B.E.T. interview. Years later, same lady.

We should think of another word than express. Something not as fast. Something not as fast. The comedy scenic room. The comedy local. The comedy stroll. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the comedy, yeah, the comedy gingerly walk.

The express comedy Comedy look at that Keith I've absolutely love you're gonna come in studio soon. I think when we get back from this break Please come in please come in we got Zillie in one stories to tell He's got a new special. He's probably filming in a couple months is I mean it annoys me honestly. God Dude I followed him a couple times at the cellar and everybody everybody that's gone to see me is like that Keith Robinson's funny. He's at the top of his game right? He deserves a jacket. He deserves a jacket and a hat Keith bring back the jacket I hope I hope you get I hope you get all the success right now and you're your special

Is you huge and then somebody finds this this video of you killing cats? Don't fuck with cat keats every minute. You don't fuck with cats wonder and can't have to go I don't know anything about that. I know Listen to this now bam boom. I don't remember killing cats that. I know. Now listen to him. I'll tell you this. Now bam, boom. I don't remember my killing cats on my watch. Bam, boom, big bang. That's my Kevin Prussian cute. Now bam, first and first, boom, bam, boom, bam, zip, bam, spank.

Me and my life love cats. We love you buddy and we'll talk real soon. Love you, Keith Robbuss and everybody. Make sure you follow him and check him out. Yeah, check him out. It's always at the comedy cell. He's one of the funniest guys around. I mean, on and off.

So funny. We have John Carden hanging out with us today. John Carden is going to be at that House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona. That's March 30 through April 2nd for tickets follow at going to the John J.O. and on Instagram. And big J. You are going to be in Rochester March 24th and 25th. And after J, you are gonna be in Rochester March 24th.

And 25th, and after that, you're in Spokane in West Nighock and Detroit. If it's tickets, please go to your website bigjacomity.com. Yes, the big couple of weeks coming up, my friend. Yeah, especially April 5th. Watch it. Comment, share.

Those things are important. First day, algorithms algorithms make it happen Hashtag Tony Hinchcliffe hashtag everyone else I know Bobby Kelly of course gonna be at the comedy works in Saratoga Springs March 24th and 25th After that Nashville Tennessee in Austin, Texas for the Nashville comedy festival in the Moon Tower Festival We're gonna be there together Come hang with us together. Come bullshit with me tell us how you tell us how you're loving the show. Have fun No notes, please For tickets and all that just tell us how much you love it. No notes. Yeah, we don't need our suggestions

We beat ourselves up plenty for tickets and all other tour dates go to robbercow live dot com we'll be for a special offer that's right and go to big j calmy dot com and robber kelly live dot com to check out our stand updates coming to a city near you uh... i stepped on the crackle crackle i stink