The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Comedy Stylings (feat. Joe DeRosa)

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Joe DeRosa calls into The Bonfire and the guys take a deep dive into the stylings on Britain's Got Talent!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Oak at Tony Tim's house. He got bucked. I'm a fucking Duke rail. Damn, man. Me and Dan were just having such a hilarious laugh at the concept of Lenny Marcus writing for Lesley Jones in the elevator. We bumped into Lenny Marcus in the lobby and then oh my Lord, I was laughing. It's the most un non-sensical coupling of people I've ever seen. They do a show together here. They have a show. I think it might be un-non-sensical coupling of people I've ever seen. They do a show together here. Mm-hmm.

They have a show I think it might be on serious. I think it's a podcast. I think it's podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her and Lenny Marcus, why are you doing it, Lou? Piece of shit. No. He's in it on all the action.

I was a consultant, yes. Where are you? I love consultant, Lou. What'd you say, did you say we should have a tiny Jewish guy right for a large black woman? Yeah, that's my idea. You're consulting? Consultant Lou coming in with that, just smoking a cigarette in a boardroom.

You never just thought we were having a ghost. Shit, alright, I gotta get... Someone give me a piece of paper, I need to write this down, he's already down. I just got struck with one. I was thinking about if a motherfucker ran up on me. What's with all these broke ass motherfuckers? Always jumping up on my shit. Oh, Lenny, we're in the middle of dinner and he goes, I was struck with inspiration. What's with all these broke ass motherfuckers? Always jumping up on my shit.

Oh, Lenny, we're in the middle of dinner and he goes, I was struck with inspiration. I, what a 50 year old black woman. This pussy spit far, y'all. What a sister gotta do to get some dick around here. Damn, look who's calling me and I really wish he was here for this, he would really enjoy this conversation. Joe De Rosa, call it on the phone.

Can you tell Joe to call in? Can we take his call? He's gonna we're gonna get some good Joe de Rosa laughs And we should also tell when Joe calls we should also talk about the fire right set. Oh, yeah We're all trying to get on the show. This is the bond fire. It's the lost it. You know that you're listening to the show You know this but I don't know I've OCD so it's the bond fire affection talk series X-M103. Oh it's good to do that. Big jokes and dance soda. We were yeah I think black leu's good in me water which makes me feel terrible. I don't like that. Oh what's it called? The Fucky? The Fuckery. The Fuckery with Leslie

Jones and Lenny Marcus. That's such a funny couple of people, man. Hey, Leslie, what's going on here? We're all today. Another motherfucking coming at me. Sideways! Or when they land on the same topic, where she's like, oh, yeah, I think a blind's like that too, Lenny. It's just coming together. Yeah, Lenny, I do think a blind's like that too, Lenny. It just comes together on something completely behind. He goes, yeah, Lenny, I do think a kitchen island

is better than having more count of space. Tyle, near a toilet is weird. This is a small decoration, these. Ah, shit. We promised this episode for a while. Thank you so much, Luke. Watch the part two this weekend, but we're gonna talk the Manitai Teo documentary.

Yeah, for sure. Did anybody reach out to Joe yet? Yeah, I texted him. Did he answer? No. He's like, I'm knee deep in bread right now. I'm like, I know you just called Jay. Yeah, you just called Jay.

Tell him that. I did. Call him actually. Don't even wait for a text Why don't you call him dick cuz I'm doing a goddamn show Also, he just called you could just picked up his all good was all that yeah, I'm saying just maybe I'll answer from your phone Damn, he really doesn't respect you at all, huh? Yeah, he knows how to treat a bitch. He knows what's up with it. I hope he doesn't answer for we know he's free He just called he wanted to shoot the shit for a little bit

Yeah, he was about that about that a was an emergency and he needed you and that was it now he's dead the bass brothers That is calling us right now. Oh What you say? Hot Mike What I think Christine what's that? Bennington is live so it's their call. Oh the Rose is on Bennington. Yeah, I can't have all Bennington's non-call fan line non-fan call oh

That's Joe yeah, he accidentally called Benning. Yeah, he's not live right now Okay, I'll just text Vito and tell him don't answer this. Oh, and then you answer it. Yes, okay Tell him to do it again. This is so complicated. This is so complicated for something that might not work out. It's going to work out too. I know. I love a good Joe the Rose left.

Yeah. Loody got it. We put so much trust in you. So wait, that's not him. While they work this out off mic, we could set up what we'll talk about after Joe, who's fucking, which is the man Tatea. We got to describe everything. If this is, cause I feel like it's just us going to like jump it in on the mic being like,

Oh, this is great. Christine Strassel, she's giving up completely. She's just opening a piece of candy at this point. This is got fucking intense hacking into the mainframe face. I'm gonna find a shit. He's gonna find this shit. And we're patched in. Dude, him accidentally taking like the joy. Dan is his screen like a DOS. It's all ones and zeroes. Dan,

Dan, the joke man. That may be laugh really hard. We got I really want Joe to pick up the things. It's a fun one. There's two part man Taitao documentary. I'm gonna keep trying to start this. I'm gonna fucking I'm starting this old school push style. You're doing good. It's a two part series that we watched on Netflix. You can which is a thing I remember watching him. I remember the whole got like as a fan of college football watching the big fan of college football but it was a national story either way. I mean it got huge because it was crazy. It was a crazy story, but I always left that story at off at that was the guy that got catfished

and then, or, and then things maybe he was also clout chasing by making up a story. I think it was pretty, I think it was like, unfortunately for him, this, like, this story was like, oh, he was involved with it somehow. Yeah, because you're like, well, no one's that dumb. And then it turns out, yeah, huh. Yeah, got him.

And we're in. Man, Tai Teo, was that dumb? We'll get to the documentary. Joe, Dorosa, are you on the phone? Yeah, what's up, guys? There he is. Man, you almost broke the show trying to get you on. Like, you're the fucking president. I don't know what the frig There he is, man. You almost broke the show trying to get you on like you're the fucking president.

I don't know what the friggin's going on. I called baby, betting can answer it over the happening. It was like, it was like you called the wrong chick. Yeah. Oh, right. I mean, baby, baby, no, I love you afternoon stuff. I love you afternoon delight. You can get right away.

Sarah. Who? You're supposed to. delight. You can get right away. Sarah, who? You're supposed to definitely do. That's what I called you. Remember when I said you looked like a Sarah? Joe, two things I want to talk about. Better get what? Better get.

I'm in the street. I had a pile of jobs. I was walking when you guys called. Joe DeRosa out in the street. It's OK. I thought you'd have a good time laughing at we just saw Lenny Marcus in the lobby here Uh-huh, and he's getting ready to go tape a show up here with Leslie Jones And then it just are so reminding me and Dan that Lenny Marcus writes for Leslie Jones and just coming up with

Large black woman subjects from a little Jewish guy all day has to be so funny The Rose I said Lenny just waking up in the middle of the night of the night is wife is like Lenny what's wrong? He's like it hit me. I wish a mother fucker would I wish a mother fucker would The dad from Alfred Willie Willie's right for Lizzie Jones Leslie Jones Leslie Jones I have I've watched Alphan years and I'll tell you that Pretty good Willie. It's a one-second impression. You do great one second impression. Thank you

The and Lenny's older than her too. So it's extra weird man. I mean, it's a good job, but the man make his money. No, no, it's a great job. It's just so hilarious. It's very funny. That he has to go, he's just pussy tight. Motherfucker, this pussy make its own money. I have a, all right. All right, now we can get back to this.

Let's get back. Will we talk about honey? I'm sorry. I have an 81 year old Korean woman that writes for me. So when he's just bouncing, just bouncing would just try to find stuff so let's just wrap uh... like you like a ball game i like a nice beard of ball game you like that

short uh... why do you hate white girl hair so much give me some of the work that's out there at the grocery store you see someone you don't like. You do what? Now, is it a, it's, is that a word we use? Have an eye, put schwats and then you fill in whatever you want to fill in when you say it. We'll use that as a marker. Have you had the kinesh?

Dude, all of a sudden in every special, she says, Oh, I don't know where. Well, that's funny. That story always made me laugh. That a tell would tell me when I first started working with him. He was like a bunch of my friends were working, like writers, he knew we're working on methenred. Oh, yeah. And he said it's just he's Jewish writers and have to write the show and then they have to give it to metham reds like people to and then they they change it where it's like you know we got to pay the phone building so then it's gonna be like you know we got to get them duckets on the rang and dang

dang I remember that I remember it's all telling us that that's so funny yeah I remember that. I remember it's all telling us that. That's so funny. Yeah. They're the higher young rats. They have to bring in young writers to black it up. Um, and that? You guys read it out of right for the audience. Dude, that and fucking, uh, I was laughing today.

Our text thread today was wonderfully hilarious. That fucking, uh, flyer. I was saying, uh, it is fucking hilarious in the in the black comedy circuit how many comedians stage names starts with the word to be in i mean now i have a question about that sorry for the noise i have a question about that do you think

that that was because that that was part of their title or do you think that was because they were trying to differentiate that because they were spoken were people going off of the show. Like, that's going to be like, this guy's a poet, this guy's a comedian. It was very confusing. It is confusing, but no, these people's names, they are comedian, whatever. It's like that in email addresses. But Joe to boss reaching out to me, that was one of my favorite reach out,

like, we do my show. Because usually I get the, Hey, we do my show, these people did it. Yeah, I reach out with where you do my show because usually I get the Hey, we do my show these people did it. Yeah, I'd love to have you do it and he goes uh, hey, heard you're from Philadelphia I was I heard some good things about you Some whispers in the wind what would it cost for you to come check out my you know do my show headline my show and I was like man We should get a gaggle of us and go do this show Just call it a white out. Yeah, I'm all pick names. It was a day and day in the joke, man. It should do the winter, the winter ball.

Fuck, do we lose Joe? Yeah, clip dude, he was out in the streets. Yeah, we lost Joe to the streets. Or you want to besmirch. He was for the streets on the boss. Joe to boss. Joe to boss. Joe to boss, maybech. He was for the streets. John the boss. Joe the boss. Joe the boss.

Joe the boss may be hilarious. I was just a hilarious tech. It was, I've heard some good things. That's like, oh thank you, Joe the boss. Yeah, I've heard some good things. I've had that recently. I've got a body of work in the world. A body of ours.

Not a buddy, but a guy we both know, like text me like, hey, I'm able to feature for you in this city when you come through. If you both know, like texted me like, hey, I'm able to do a feature for you in this city when you come through If you want to and I was like, oh, thanks man, I already got I'm bringing somebody it wasn't a big deal But then they're like, it's all good and you're like, yeah, no, I know you reached out to me. I got side-sweived for some openings Recently, yeah, yeah, just got caught Just got caught it pans down or what?

You're like, yeah. Well, the comedy's one of the only businesses where just people that you kind of know can ask to come to work with you. And then it just happens. I know. Like a serious no. No one can walk up the black loom to like, hey, I'm gonna, do you need help with the bonfire today? And he's just like, oh no, we're good. You know, the comedy is like, hey, do you need help with Chicago? And you're like, aw, I already have. Also when they tell you, it goes,

also I'm like from that area, so like, I'll probably bring like, it's the best. Like 100 people. You know, like, it's all good. I don't I don't There is this was looking for audience this lady that was from Colorado was when I first started working comedy works I was like I can open for you. I'll pack that place I was like well the whole I'll pack that place the whole idea is like I'll pack that place That's right. I want to get don't worry. I don't want to talk to your friends all my people will be there

Probably so fast to see me that a lot of your people might not get in. Also, they're really not going to like you. They're just going to wish there was more of me on there. You may want to add a 4pm or on Saturday for your people. They can come to the show. Oh, look who's back. It's back. You got to get out of the box.

Joe to boss. Joe to sandwich boss. Right beforeBoss. Joe DeSanwich Boss. Right before it disconnected, I heard you say, that you got a message along with this invite of people who have done the room. You better skill the beams on that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to do a show, although I don't know, young Joe DeBoss is, he looks like an old school player. Yeah, it was like Michael Collier. Joe DeBoss.

No, but I said they always, they always say to me, it's like, hey, we do my room. It's Tuesday at 7 p.m. and then it's just right away. It seems defensively. They write like Mark Norman did it. Joe, this has been here before jay mark normand it's so funny to send that yesterday ice we were recording taste buds and i said the homeless him

i go i get these were questions to do these podcast pop of the list every time they go mark normand did it all a hundred percent mark normand's done everything always I learned that lesson about six, I learned that lesson about five or six years ago with Norman because they're someone to reach out to do a bar show. And they're like, I was bar showin' Brooklyn. Mark Norman did it.

It's gotta be decent. And I go out there and be like three people. And it's like, they're playing ski ball. All of them. Everything. Yeah, he does it every show. I love Norman, but that's one of my biggest beefs with them. I said it to him.

I've said it to him before too. I go do every comic who ever asked me to do anything in the world. Informs me that one of the reasons I should first and foremost, Mark Norman did it. Yeah, because he does every show guy works as asked. But he also does this thing where if you're on and Joe and Jay, you've probably had it. Jay, I don't know if you have, but the rows you've probably on through it with a club will ask you you'll be at a club to like a king switch your spot and you're like uh... i don't know why they go smart normand's got another spot

is gotta get to you like you always have other spotty's got to get to it is tonight i remember a show good good job my favorite with spots is charade uh... each spot in four clubs at the same time and he's like money don't worry about it it'll work itself

yeah the one of the crazy or you said you think I was going to say one of the crazy is like spot can you switch ones I got was a guy had a jealous girlfriend and he got caught cheating. And he was like, I have to pick her up at work. Like he was like, can we switch? I have to go to her work when she gets out

and like meet her there. And I was like, damn, that's like blowing into your car when you get to do lots of girlfriends. I don't want to know who did it. Oh, I'll take you guys off here. Dude, Norman did a show at me one time. I can't wish I remember who else was on it, but I just remember he was definitely on it.

It was like a Christmas party at one of those, what the Christ? We're locked in, dear fellow, totally. Was that one of those WeWork places? I forget what they used to be called. Welcome. What, the private? I was lose phone.

No. What's up? You know what I'm talking about? What are they called before WeWork spaces? Welcome what the private I was lose phone What's up? You know what I'm talking about what are they called before we work spaces where it's like communal Office space. Yeah, I don't know what the name was before we work But like it's what so what it was a bunch of like young startup professionals. Oh, yeah, yeah I think I've done I think I may have been on that that's particular show It was like it was like in their lobby, basically. Yeah. And it was like a couple hundred people, but they were all everyone.

You'd like every guy you could tell wears like Colin Ferrell beanies. And you know, I mean like maybe maybe it maybe owns a tall fucking drum. It was all like like brogans and fucking Teagans and Tyler's. There's like that energy is fucking not cool. They did not enjoy me.

They did not enjoy me. Honestly, we're about open minds, open borders. Man. Collin Farrell, Collin Farrell Beanie, who's so funny, it's a same hat. It's dying Tom Hanks hat. It's a little bit of a hat. Tom Hanks dying hat. You're showing, you're showing, you're showing hair almost to middle head and then beanie starts. That's the lesion brand.

Oh, yeah, it was like every actor in LA where I always dreamed to be able to rock a hat like that. A shrug hat? It did not work for me. You ever long hair? Yeah. But even when I had long hair, it just wasn't. Now, you don't have to have just long hair.

You also have to have an asshole sharp face. Yeah. It's a Mr. Steer, your girl kind of face. For sure it is. There it is. No, it's Norman. It's Norman face. that's a Mr. Steer your girl kind of face for sure there it is Norman it's Norman face he's like I gave her MSI uh dude Norman could definitely rock a colon feral beanie without a doubt yeah oh look at the little flip on that some bitch you got to love that dude it's scrunched up in the back?

Damn dude Joe. What was some of the best names of Comics when you were in Philly the I mean we always a beefy funny is always gets a laugh people don't know him Huge yeah You know the one that always that we you and I talked about so times to kill this was that that there was show not and show guns Yeah, yeah, you had to remember which guy's authentic Authentic was one of my favorites and I actually became friends with authentic and I didn't know his real name for like Six months

We got into a argument as a far one in the middle of the argument. I go what the fuck is your real name? I am not calling you authentic Well, we're screaming at each other right now, and it was like it's Michael. It's always like a very pleasant name Joe Introducing him to like his his family like where people they knew it cuts down He goes this is Jimmy his guy could Could outdrink anybody it caused Jimmy. This is authentic. This is authentic.

Buddy, I mean, one of the best, the people I wish, Christine, he's look on YouTube. Have we ever tried to look him up on YouTube? Kenny Ray Walker. Kenny Ray Walker was someone that you should have been able to see, Dan, he's so fun. He was just, he was, he was, looks like his whole life Dan he's so fun he was just he was he was looks like his whole life he's been 60 and like he just showed up with these hip-hop

e-show and we just eat shit man he had a wonky and he uh and did Richie Reading has some of the best stories I'm just doing gigs with him and then he's having to stay at richie reddings parents house with him and his mom waking up to see a kiddie ray walker walking around tiny whiteies look at that so funny good steady it's funny man like can he raise act

and and personality in and look at everything he's a guy that should have had a a name like sure it would have enhanced everything and then like there were guys like beefy funny That should have just been named Kenny Ray Walker because they were fucking hilarious hilarious Yeah, yeah, if you go couldn't get past beefy if you're super talented But you have a wacky name like that like at what point you can't earthquake had to just be like I'm taking earthquake All the way to the top, you know like what is hamburger's bank account look like yeah, he's been referenced on family guy

But is he a fucking millionaire? He might not be even anywhere close There's not even a thing for him anymore now. It's like he shows up. It's like funny if he does your show kind of Did I think he's like I Stoom I might be wrong, but like, I mean I've been in I've been in Des Moines. I will for the past 16 years living like a king but Bob Nelson. Hamburg Bob Nelson was a character guy. He was a character guy and Bob Nelson like exactly but his crispy look up Bob Nelson net worth 46 and then look up a alonzo hamburger Jones net worth There's been like 45 black comics with cowboy hats on I've met a few of them

It was do cowboy hats that was like That was like that was like a thing like like for for comics like like when we were like around the time we started you know it was like it was like there was like i'm gonna be a story guy or i'm gonna be a rancid i'm gonna be that like there were guys are like i'm gonna be a cowboy hat guy and like i'm gonna you know there was like suit guys

you know it was it uh... i'm never to remember his name. I don't take up too much of your time. But uh. Choosing suit. Uh. I always thought was like, why, man? Why did you choose a suit?

Especially when fat guys would choose suit. I'd always be blown away by that. That's a lot of work. It's not the best you're going to look. Hamburg, $29 million. No fucking way in the world. Does Hamburg have $29 million? I hope hope he does too. I hope he does. Hamburger's got a lot of good investment. Oh, you haven't been on a hamburger's hamburger.

You're gonna want to look at some stocks. You're gonna want to look at AMC. You're gonna want to look at Pfizer. And you're gonna want to look at... And then go up to the NASDAQ hand burger or Maybe invested in highly hand burgers hotdog stands everywhere Hey, you have hamburgers. Oh, me and hot dogs Hand burger and that invested in possible meats He goes okay one goes one chili dog hand burger. No, just a chili dog. Please he goes one chili dog coming up Hamburger so you're confusing me Finally he was diagnosed as his Tourette

hamburger Tourette we wanted to tell you something your Tourette acts out in the form of you saying hamburger. Oh, man I'll make it work. So when I get nervous. That's gonna happen That's to be burger. Oh man, I'll make it work. So when I get nervous, that's gonna happen. That's just a big nervous money. Oh, hamburger. Do my favorite. I just remember watching the first time with the Boston and being just blown away genuinely, blown on my, cause I was like, oh, this guy, remember this guy from Def Jam.

Yeah. And I remember that's all I have always. And Def Jam wasn't that long before at this point. Yeah, I've only seen him on Def Jam. It was like 2001. And I remember him going up and thinking he just goes, where he goes, everybody talking all about his alien Gonzalez. And Burger ain't having it. And then he just moved on

to the next subject. Maybe Lampsoor in the back and the crowd was just like, what? They just didn't, they were puzzled by it. Amberga and Amberga. Because Ellie Gonzalez, everybody talking on Ellie and Gonzalez. Amberga and Amberga. Look at me. Oh, that big round of way girl. Liesman sit on a bus stop sucking on pork jobs.

Amber. Amber. It actually Isaiah, it is to read. Amberga. Don't say they true. Hey, Amberga. Oh, I got to call my family hamburger. It's okay You're just working through an episode right now Breathe Hamburger

I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store.

I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to go to the store. first show. Have you done a show yet at your club or your bar? Now, we just we did one out of the, um, in the out arc, in the out of the, but we're not really trying to, but make pretty good. I guess we should do one with our group of buddies, give ourselves some wacky names and really have the fly, but we should flyer for it heavy, but don't like use all the goofy names on the flyer if they have to

really look at the pictures to see yeah and I think we would take pictures with props so if you do look at the picture first I think you should use Ari's Ari's name from uh hey guys I just walked into Ari's but I think you should use Ari's name from the thing today or no the name are you game over Jay Hover yes the witnesses too good you show you guys are about to witness Jay Hover we should build a show is Jay Hover and the witnesses will be all the witnesses yeah I love it Dan Dan the joke man oh yeah really made me laugh. Or else gonna be Danny gets your laughs. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to decide on which one. Danny the pipes are calling boy. Yeah. I'm just taking Joe the boss. Yeah. I love it.

Who's serpent from him. Yeah dude, just take it. You are now the boss. You got the juice. Oh dude. And then just like just any but not like, Yeah, dude just take it you are now the boss you got the juice. Oh, dude And then just like just any but only was like comedian Steve. Yeah But it'll be like Nate Parkette's

Comedian Steve Dude we have to be somebody's gotta be grenade face because that was the name you always You always made up Jay That was always your like fake go-to name for The black comedy shows that your head ladder Grenade face. Yeah, I was showing I was showing somebody recently Michael rage the raging bull of comedy that one set he has online where he just keeps going stupid people I'll always remember it. It's one of the funniest, bad comedy. You call me the stuck-and-triving, you stupid people. And then I always love regaling people with the story

of he told me in Kurt, bet for not letting him cut in front of us on open mic nights that we were gonna be out of the smoke with me video. Smoke with me, we watched the video on the show. I mean, yeah, I've watched that video 2,000 times. First of all, black Lou looks disturbingly like Dan, that I think about it. Dan owes me money. Um, that's one of Joe's favorite things ever.

And I was like a basic laugh. I'm on a very simple curse word. Was always that guy Dan who worked with Michael Raige. Fucked me over on money a lot and then try to cut me up Like a year and a half later two years later. We bury the hatchet and we try something again And this time I'm gonna get your money and like a Dan stay the fuck away from me you asshole What did he say when you said that? He's a come on man. I'm like dude fuck on Up on him. I'm like it it's just like, I was,

that point I was like a little done, getting fucking railed for money like that. That's one of those things that we last so hard about for years. We probably exaggerated it, more and more. Oh yeah. Like when you actually said it, you probably just went,

then instead of fuck away from you asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like when we do it, we're like, Dan, stay the fuck away from you asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like when we do it. We're like Dan Staying the fuck away from me you asshole Me and Joe good laugh we used to have was making part of this comic Just the delay he would do on this bit he had a bit like I've been with my chick for living with it for 10 years Yeah, but only for like 10 minutes and he goes 10 minutes under water and he really sold it like Oh, did I know this? Yeah, you guys do the same for me at the rose of that was shipping. Yeah, it goes but only for like 10 minutes

Shumon 10 minutes are you already we got the pie roasted up in the back 10 minutes under 10 minutes under water! I remember you guys telling that back in the day and like we were all hanging out and Nate was there and Nate was... Remember the Nate note that he got about the guy said about Spider-Man? Yeah, he should shoot webs after his jokes. He got that note from someone. He should do jokes and then like shoot webs. Nate was like, shit. Shoes, webs. And it was like, what?

Do I level that shit? I remember when I first went to, when I first went to, to do a, to think about doing a NACA? Yeah, I forget who told that. I mean, we can do it. When I went to first go try to do a NACA. Yeah.

They were like, I was like in comedy, they got to be really clean. And they were just starting to describe to me like what the people who make tons of money are. And then I, and then I got to witness him speaking of the witnesses. Um, Marty Puts. Marty Puts comes up. Marty Puts. There's no, there's no way it's real. That's like a fake name.

That's like a fake name of a mafia guy gives talking about a silly guy You know, I don't know I'm down these guys telling jokes are regular Marty puts do Marty puts I don't he had like we got him we got it. He had sort of comedy, but mostly a thing was shooting a gun that shot marshmallows My god what a jack off Marshmallows. Oh my god what a jagged off. Oh damn it. Jesus. Marty Puts. Play a little. This is him. Yeah. Oh a little little talking with Marty Puts. It's Britain got Britain's Got Talent. Is he British? Oh no. When I did my audition and I covered Simon with toilet paper I remember talking to my friends when you know what I should do and everybody's going no Simon and I went yeah, dude they went way positive. They're like Marty. You're out of your goddamn mind

Don't you do a prop bid on Simon Cowell and cover him in toilet paper? He goes I'm gonna do it because I'm Marty Puts. Yeah, dude. I can't wait to see the Scorsese movie, the biopic Puts. By the way, good move Puts, taking this bullshit over to Britain, where a guy spinning toilet paper, off of a roll to the audience, is gonna get an appreciation. Because they still think Benny Hylf and Marty Piver on rules.

How did he go from, how did he go from one door to another door? God damn it, these suck ass. He sucks such ass. This guy moved on to the first round by simply covering Simon and Toilet paper, from a Toilet paper gun. Also him retelling the story, he's like, everyone said, Puts, you're crazy.

Because I was on the phone, in America, they were like, you get killed over here for that We were we're in Montreal. I got to go out to the better artists screening But I but we were we're in Montreal at the trees. We were backstage in the anthems y'all and Brendan Burns is a friend of mine. He's no stride in comic But he lived in Britain. He was telling us how brilliant the British scene was and how hard work How much hard work is Eric just go

Shut the fuck up y'all suck and he just starts going ooh coming to the stages in the end of us you know you all suck dick fuck up so it was like it was a we're the hardest shutdown some of the tree shutdowns you your like I wish I just could do that conversation but instead of like it sounds great i'll come over sometime yeah i'll come across the bottom do some time over there because i think here's a some brilliant guys just smiling and nodding

i love my comics to be described as brilliant dude do you remember when we were tree stole jott remember that guy Johnny Spanish and he went on stage and bombed all did you remember what the truth told joe when the guy johnny spanish anyone on the page and bomb came off stage and the trees were on the truth goes hey johnny spanish you need to change your name to johnny anglis translate that horse hit action

and and christ yeah i love you guys i'm in standy and go next weekend uh... yeah i love you guys and i'm standing at the next weekend but i want to three yeah go see jota roza jota roza comedy dot com or just jota roza dot com what is it

jota roza info jota roza info dot com jota roza comedian jota boss comedian jota boss jota boss uh... we love you buddy jake here. I got we gotta keep watching Marty Puts. Oh, yeah, I got more puts in me I got more puts. I just I know we'll get to man title promise. Yeah, we're good. We're good. It's all time in the world

I am so excited to be in the semifinals because I now get a chance to show More of my stuff and some of it's never been seen before that I designed specifically for this show. When you saw Matt Nacka was you doing props? Yeah. The Marshmallow gun is what gets this guy six figures a year of colleges. Going to get someone else doing a bit about their grandma dying. It's just clever.

Yep. And they're like, oh, that's pretty dark. And then he goes, yeah, whatever. You can talk about that old bitch. Think it was dominated all week. Yeah, I'm just fucking shooting, Marge. Steve Hofstetter, Morty Puts dude, cleaned up the colleges.

I like that Hofstetter's coming out now being like, all these people are putting videos up that used to mock me. Of what? Dealing with hecklers? I think so. You want his hecklers plans or something? Yeah, that's right. I was always plants or it was like The problem was like it wasn't anything that harsh or he would like giving hey, why don't you get out of here?

He goes oh deals with heckler security. Can you guys please just go destroy? Yeah nice shirt. Fuck oh Destroy oh, I remember I had my first drink From like what the title would be versus what the video actually Gives this man an abortion with words. Yeah, and then it's like hey you fucking you're stupid Sends man home on suicide watch. It's like nice haircut. They cut men's hair. Are you get that though? watch. It's like nice haircut today. It cut men's hair. Are you getting that done? No! Well, million views. Let's keep going with whole Marty, dude. Puts. By the way, pause. If you could do it while we're watching this, if you could look up also

Christine. Marty Puts also used to back in the day, if you might recognize him, he's very old now. But back in like the when I would watch the A-list, using the improv and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, I was all in that watch. You recognize what you see, and he did straight stand up at one point. He always was like wacky. It's always weird when you see like, you just did layer the cable guy show.

When you see Larry cable guy on, I think he's on two drink minimum. Yeah. And he's Dan Whitney. Yeah. And he's doing layer the cable guy jokes as Dan Whitney. Yeah. It's pretty wild. And then do you remember when Larry the cable guy guy came out and this is equally his corny, but we know his gay Wow breaking news. I got get it in the butt Let's just say Tyrell got it done on my dook she yeah, I thought it was a one way turns out it's But he

Oh, fuck I'm There he is there's the putz there He's so goofy. I know I said he always but did goofy stuff But it wasn't he was in costume, but this is just like stand up though. He's doing these wearing like a fur hat 80 stand up was buddy. Yeah Christine you're too young to know this but 80 stand up All such a 80 stand-up was buddy. Yeah Christine you're too young to know this but 80 stand-up all such a It's all where costumes it's no more the other guy that fucking

You know it's Creel Kirshenbauer put the fucking wet thing on his head The question bar I wanted to fucking dropkick one of these windows. You know it's crazy Stand-ups getting as bad as this now. Oh We're hitting peak 80s. It's about the pop. I'm telling you. Because people are getting too cheered on for their shitty character work.

Look at all the Instagram clips. Yeah, I don't like character work one bit. No, but I'm saying all the Instagram clips, 90% it's like, that's like the new evening at the improv. That's like the new two drink minimum. Yeah. Because you're just scrolling through and you're seeing people bomb, but they're putting up clips.

Oh yeah. Christine probably likes all of them. Christine would love Marty Puts if we weren't here to influence her the right way. I'm a Puts a Hollish. You guys that was just the Puts it. And again, go back to the Britons got talent first. I want to see his Britons got talent thing. And then we'll watch. Typically for this show. Don't go back to the Puts. And he took your work. Tonight is going to be one giant Marty's party and everyone is going to have a blast. So it's like he collects dolls. But they're kids he killed?

Yeah, he names them after the kids he killed. He gets rid of the body. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to show you one of my earliest inventions that I've been working on. To spare you. Ever since I was a little boy? Are you asking me to fly? Yeah. So tonight, what?

It's the premier launch of this, the Puts 2000 jet pack? Well, we can see the string behind you, dude. Oh, you don't think he's gonna fly? No, he's going to. It's already given away. I'm out. I'm out already. I see the string. Oh, yeah, he's got a harness on. He's got a harness on. I'm out. He's going to rock it pack up to the sky. I would like to be taken. Okay. In a closed theater. Years after Great White.

I'd love to be a pilot. Let's just let a guy named Marty Puts loose with a rocket pack. Jay, it's about the presentation. Okay. I'm speaking from a performer's standpoint. Okay. And sloppy. Okay.

Make it sell it. Sell it for me. Christine bring on the pudge. As I circle above your heads, do not try to reach up and grab me or high fi me. Are you ready? Let's do it. Marty pudge dude. What's a leather helmet gonna do? I don't understand what he's doing right now. I'll say you

You say what's a leather helmet gonna do? Yeah, it's just like to get these a look. Yeah Christine you're too confused by this whole thing. Oh Geez the suit flew off. Oh, and his tookus is out. Oh. This guy's a real putz. It's a fake ass. It's a fake ass.

It's a good thing I didn't get that tattoo. All right, you guys, I have a school. What was it given to? A few cool more in there. And I've mentioned to show you that so I'm still excited to be here. All right. Hey, you guys. I gotta tell you, one of my first jobs when I was in high school,

working part-time with school, I was in pizza, but I got fired after the first night. It was accidental, but, well, let me show you. It's great. I used to go up on the door. This guy fucking murders in the afternoons of casinos. Yeah. I don't I don't understand it so it's like his face is a pizza but like it's not a pizza because it's his face. But like it's not a pizza because it's his face Oh, let's hear how much they love him. We gotta hear the judging no Christine you go back right now It's so sorry that you're doing from America. It's I like it Pizza face man

Terrified me. It's just an old Duke. I am in bread. Let's get to some judging Puts I am in bread. Let's get to some judging. Puts. I think we're going to have the hot one. The Marshmallow gun. They got a little less. There we go. Let's take their room. There we go.

It's not working. Oh, there we go. They got to cover them in toilet paper again. The women to the goddamn judging the women were out. Fuck this. Didn't they really ran from toilet paper? The British are just left anything. Huh? Does everybody loves going over there so much. Yeah, I go over there. I'm telling you, I mean, right in case it's an A-Royce case scenario, I just start fucking T-P in a room. That's what I did. That's how I closed every show. All right, you guys are ready for some fanfare? You guys love fanfare, don't you? And then when I was coming over, when I was going through customs and I had my leaf blower and they're like do you do you shape toilet paper at people's

face? You must be a comedian. Okay I'm the guy. Oh but I 40 tickets right now. I'm gonna bring me home family to four different shows. Is it is same thing every time? Oh prefer if it is. Do you cry in it at some point? Go. That's Edinburgh. I was knew I was fucked because every top, all the top shows would get one. Somebody cries also. Sicks get super serious.

Kill yourself and stop boring us with these one people shows. No, that's when I was realizing. Yeah, I had the ball just right a letter and commit suicide. Something just watch you fucking drone on through it. I could have watched a movie or an episode of a show highlight. Jesus Christ. Instead of got to find out that your uncle sucked your ass when you're sorry. Kill yourself or move on from it. Yeah. Stop yelling at me or punch it up. Don't call it a comedy show. Call it as fucking

hey you want to watch somebody sad sec on Netflix for a half hour. Good. I want to hear the judging Simon Kale. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I've never been this blown away. Come back, dumb girls. The putt's a mad, dude. This is what the judges signed out for. Dude, what do I mean?

Look at Simon hamming more. Why is she throwing shit at him? Damn, she's just- They hit her with stuff. I think she's genuinely sort of pissed that he hit her with stuff. Just push, kicks her down the stairs. He just whipped her with a towel. It's getting weird on that stage.

I'm a big kid at heart. I know lots of kids watch this show. And I think they're gonna absolutely love you. Because that was Mayhem. Good morning, you're a funny man and you're a very very brave man to say this all and covers the internet well. Alicia, did you like toilet roll?

A good flush, yes. Thank you very much. Come on down. I'm going to send you the dry cleaning bill. Yeah, I mean it is good fun. I'm gonna send you the dry cleaning bill Yeah, I mean it is good fun. It's clowning at its best All right, that's like when you're talking to a cop family Yeah, it's like when you're talking to a cop and are starting to let you know like you go and you're like I was just I'm you know, I was driving fast to work

And I you know, I didn't say I didn't know you were around that corner I wouldn't be going that fast't know you were around that corner. I wouldn't have been going that fast. That's what he did when she, because she was legit pissed. Oh yeah. And she's like, I'll send you the jaw cleaning bill. This is a million dollar dress.

It's not a good dress. It's all good fun. It's all, it's clowning. It's better you think I try to bring families together. What family goes, we're a family divided, but we went and saw Puts live, and I gotta tell ya, I don't know what it was for the first time in my life, my daughter talked to me.

I mean, really talked to me. Did your parents get back together? You know, I'm already Puts. It goes, the Puts come through town again. Puts at the performing arts center. I don't know, I'm just saying my dad got hit with a roll of toilet paper. Completely different guy after that. Next thing I know, he was sleeping back at the performing arts center. I don't know. I'm just saying my dad got hit with a roll of toilet paper Completely different guy after that next thing. I know he was sleeping back at the house again

So we're having family dinners again on Sunday at 7 p.m. It's a start It's a start and I would tell you where it really started putts live Can I'll tell you what I got my mom? Five tickets see putts It's gonna be the Terry Town music all for sure Puts the show it up the Terry Town music all for sure Puts is showing up the Terry Town musical I think I was I did bring your grandpa and the grandkids if they want to get marshmallows and toilet paper thrown out We it is a we are a cohesive unit because of mr. Puts. Can you give me some young puts Christine?

Dude, I'll do all right that show right now young Puts all right. All right. I'll run a fucking Marty puts. Marty puts was a huge knacka. Yeah, did you see everybody just line up for him? Because people though it was legend already. It was like the guy gets Oh, they were like, good luck getting him. He's already booked to. Yeah, maybe you think so. Tomahawk University. He's going to the big schools. Indiana. Illinois. Talent for sure. Iowa. This guy's going to the big schools Indiana Illinois telling for sure Iowa this guy's been all the I the campuses of campuses and a giant theater firing toilet paper and marshmallows and it applause filling the arena

Friday night live. Oh, yeah, God play This is how they're gonna look back by the way The way we're looking back to stand up right now is how people in the future are gonna look now to stand up and podcasting. Oh yeah. They're gonna be like, damn dude, just everybody was doing it. Everybody was doing it.

A hundred percent of people. Who shouldn't have been doing it? One hundred percent of people are doing it. It's crazy. I mean, it's crazy that you can just do it. Yeah dude. Like you can just have a podcast. I think of me and you should probably get some some big black women writers for us. I told you I have an 83 year old Korean woman that writes for me. But she knows my voice. So you can say, Dan, I have a new one about how you're too old to be getting

high as much as you do all right and how to go shoes This is how I think you're into it. I Smoke too much I you say I was so high I thought I saw a runny danger field and you do the right thing but don't runny danger field do it You do right danger field you do that for a bit you do it right danger a little bit You work with the crowd to do the right thing to field I Lou I her name's Lou too. For L.U.

I know. Asian lady Lou. Asian blue. Asian blue. You pretty goddamn good at this. I gotta say, I hope that was still your way for me because you've got it. You've got it. And you've got the goods. Maybe you share them. And you are are bringing them I leave Katie for I go it was a work thing Lou you know it was gonna happen You know when you work something that closely you fall in love with them. Yeah, she goes and then you do macho man Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you watch your man. Yeah, yes

You do much on that for me You're you're you watch me Right here we can't me sit down we can't Oh It's like a much a man I love them Dude, they're letting it call it up. I got a new bit Are you sitting down? Yeah, Lenny calling up. I got a new bit. I got a new one. Are you sitting down?

You had the job? You getting your hair braided? We're gonna be talking about how no middle-aged man can fuck the way he's supposed to. Yeah. All right, here's one thing. I'm gonna say, welcome all the guys with a good dick. I ain't got no job. Blaow. Splugging.

No, let's watch some Marty Goots. Our Puts. Young Puts? Young Puts. 88. We're not from the United States this time. Wow No, let's watch some already good putt young puts young putt 88 United States this time great to hear somebody from Canada this act is fabulous and astonishing please Nothing else not even but so Still props Actually, I have to tell you this is my first time in England and it's great. This is a great place.

But you know what, your customs officials are, they're not very nice. No, they went through all my stuff. But wait, no, they didn't find this. It's my Coke spoon. No, it is, look. Right now, it's time. Get a Coke, get a Coke and I'll have a spoon. No it is, look. That's it right now. Get a coke, get a coke and I'll have a spoon.

My favorite Alfred Hitchcock movie. Ooh. Jesus. That's good. My favorite Alfred Hitchcock movie. Hey pal, why aren't you doing it? Go! Too late!

Come on for that and I'm gonna break you fucking mouth! You're gonna be with a fucking... Excuse me? You shot him with a fucking... With one of the suction cup darts, by the way! Hey, gav, I wouldn't be in with that, I wouldn't be in that. I brought you fucking shoot me, Revease! You got to party to go to the end price!

Get over here, Yo Jason stay there Did you see me with a little tiny thought? You go there, right? This is bad. This is like he's talking to children. Yeah Make the noise of me Come on you gooses Come on you galvan geese What do you laugh before man? You're wearing glasses Galapangies. What do you laugh before, ma'am? You're wearing glasses. Do this. Do it! Come on!

Right now back to Alfred Hitchcock. We're starting swinging. What the f**k? I I'll tell you something It's burrs on his face drop comedy man. What a weird genre I think you have to build how many times I would break my props because I get frustrated building schematic something a fucking garage Trying to make the perfect flapping bird to put your face in the other room. Just standing there. Yeah, hold on Yeah, I see a standing what I'm making my booger mask The mirror to the joke about I got a sneeze a chew my face is a booger

What I'm trying to make a snot gun because I don't know cuz it's a big knackin next week what cuz you want what Yes, it's a nice dress. Yeah, you look beautiful. What building it. Oh fucking thing. Well fucking fit. Yeah What you got to turn off the fucking table saw Yeah, I'm up in the workshop Okay, just two more minutes I'm just cutting some PVC pipe on I'm making my jet pack. Oh, let's go rip off my clothes. I'm gonna a chicken wing cannon I'm going real big I'm going real big

Big hop stitters on my ass He's roasting these audience members. He's torching them. He's torching them. So I got a fetum Nice ball hit there. Telly Savales Hey, look telly Savales and then he puts a TV over his head. I'm talking about big TV. Yeah, you know, I have to check three bags. You know how this is. My fake TV couldn't come across to Pawn with me. That's my clothes, that's my clothes.

My Tally Savales. What if there's a bald guy in the audience? I gotta put the old Tally Savales. I can't just be shooting these people with darts all night. Yeah, let's talk a little man, Tite. Yeah, I mean we gotta talk a lot of me. Tite. Yeah, let's take a break Let's take a break. We'll come back and we will talk cat fishing. We'll talk mental I don't know dude this man stuff this people this fucking documentary you just do it's feel so bad for such a hot dude Well, he wasn't always a hot dude, but man his glow up man now he is a handsome some bitch yummy

Yeah, Christine was sliding all over our leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, segment man. I take out Take out Oh Man, I'm totally insane Bout-Bout-Bout Chitch-Cow You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings

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