The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Concert Pigs

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

Jay tells a classic tale of sex, crime, and comedian Craig Gass. At a Korn concert, Craig hooked up with two ladies in Jay's car. The girls steal money from the car and then return with their husbands. The cops are called and the story gets wild. Jay and Bobby remember what it was like to be really fat and buying clothes. Certain tee-shirts were only sold in super large. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Love sassy black lady music. Well, we got Yamanika coming in tomorrow. Oh, yeah sassy black lady comedy You better be good to her. Yeah, you're better. You get nice. She's gonna give you a fucking Russian sickle She's not she lost a lot of weight. She looks good. What if she's as tough as she used to be Now that she's slimmed down. Yeah, let's try to fight her. Let's see. Yeah. Let's put up a girl.

I don't need to take your shit no more, Yamanika. Let's see if... I ain't scared of you no more. We'll put her against Jacob first, and then DJ Lou. Yeah. All the way up to Black Lou, and then let's see who she gets to. Every one of you, I swear to you, Yamanika, when she was heavier, you guys would all beat the shit out of her. Not you, Christine, she'd fuck your world up.

But the rest of you guys would beat the shit out of Yamanika. Yeah, Christine would go to pull her hair, it would come off, and she'd be like, what now, bitch? Yeah, and Christine's gonna freak out. And she'd blow dust, some type of dust, in Yamanika's eyes, and she'd go, I like that shit on my fuckin' bacon and eggs, motherfucker. Christine Evans lacks aggression

Stick up for yourself aggression does dawn have that she has that gauge in her right Boston chick Yeah, I told you one time I threw chicken at her face by accident right and she she balled up her fingernails Yeah, she broke all her fingernails off to fight you. Yeah, she kept calling me kid She's got I was on top of her, thank God it was heavy at the time, it was one of my fats. Yeah. And I was on top of her, I go, Don, you gotta calm down.

I was acting, she's like, kid, get off me, kid. That's scary. It's like holding down one of the Walburgs. Kid, get off me, you fucking kid. I'm gonna fucking get off me. I go, stop calling me kid. You better kill me here. You better kill me, kid.

Because if I get out of this hold I'm telling you it's on until you're dead. She's got that very very hard to get to Yeah, she usually goes to tears first But is with dawn mm-hmm someone comes up fucking throws, or maybe a nice knee or a punch into your Your car into my punch into your car. In my car. In your car.

Yeah. It's a woman who does it. The one's in the passenger seat. Yeah, I'll have to hold her by her hair. Yeah. Yeah, like a fucking, like a dog. You don't let her go? No.

Why? No, because I don't wanna see her get her ass kicked. You think she's gonna get her ass kicked. Or kill somebody. No, but here's the argument. She doesn't get her ass kicked. Yeah. Because you're there to make sure

it's a lopsided fight in their direction. You just can't hit a chick. But I can't hit a chick, but I could push a chick's shoulder, spin her a little way, just grab a wrist if she's trying to hit Christine, and then Christine's got free whales all day long. You can grab a wrist and pull. Sure.

Into the gutter. No, listen, cause you could always go, well she's attacking my girlfriend. And then run like you're running to her. Miss, I'm sorry, and then accidentally kick her in the gut. Yeah, I can kick her in the gut for sure. When she's down, I can fuck her all up. But it's the initial thing.

To the, the optics to the, to society have to be that uh Christine is in this fight yeah yeah don't know I could through Christine I said like lopsided this fight to really make sure this girl gets a good ass kicking yeah I think I've seen Don snap twice and it was and it was two Pete like women she snapped in the store with Max. Nice. Somebody, some lady's. I like that.

Saying something to Max. I like when your rage overpowers your love of child. Yeah. She, some old lady gave Max, bumped into Max and said, with her cart, and was like, you shouldn't be in the way, and Don snapped. I know, Lou, I'm sorry, I gotta. Don snapped.

Really? Oh yeah, she was like, why don't you watch where your fucking car is? How's that? Yeah. He's a, I think it was like nine, he's nine. Why don't you fucking watch, and she snapped. Carla was a little bit quick to reaction,

and particularly with, when it was the Isabella thing, that story I had from years ago when we found the car that they stole stuff out of our car, these people, and then were leaving. We couldn't find the stuff they stole, but the cops were there. It was a whole ordeal. You found the people?

Yeah, oh yeah, we lured them back to us. How'd you do that, with like treats? No, so it was- Gold chains on the roof? I haven't told this in a long time. It was a Project Revolution tour. Craig Gass takes me and Carla backstage down outside of Philly.

We drop Isabella off. There's so much happens in this story, by the way. Found out that morning when DeRosa wakes up, he goes, hey man, did somebody stay over here last night? And I was like, yeah, Craig Gass crashed out. Because we went to this concert today, he goes, oh, I think there's cocaine residue all over the table yeah and I was like Jesus Christ it's ballsy ballsy well he's many years sober now Craig two heart attacks in many years sober he

had heart attacks too Wow from coke so yeah that's real that's true 100% true yeah I'm friends with Craig you get, you get heart attacks from Coke? I thought that was a myth. No, no, no. Two heart attacks, apparently. How much Coke do you have to do for your heart to stop? Twice. Wild.

Pretty wild. So anyway, Craig takes his becks. I gotta keep, this thing, it sucks. Turn it off for a second, Lou. Jay is fixing his mic stand because it keeps going limp on him. It's Sirius. Has everybody else in the world have Shure microphones?

The podcast world has figured out the Shure microphone is the one. It's a quiet slide, it's a fantastic microphone. Hey, Mr. Sirius, William T. Sirius, if you're listening up in your ivory tower. Better microphones. It's fixed now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I cranked it until, better microphones. It's fixed now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I cranked it until my fingers hurt. It's working. Now we're doing okay. Thank God you have no fingers on your mittens. Thank God. If these were straight mittens, I'd be fucked. There's nothing worse than an angry guy having to take a glove off.

Oh, to do something, I know. God damn it. Especially if they're a tight glove. Unless you're gonna slap another man in the face for a fight. When they ask me at TSA what I'm wearing, it's funny when they go, you gotta see the gloves, so I already know the motion of like,

I go like that, and they're fine. You don't take them fully off? No. You don't put them in the basket? I don't think about it, really. I wore them because I'm freezing. Right. In the morning.

Yeah. I would love to get Craig Gass in here, because I just watched an interview with him and I had no idea that he Became friends with Eddie Van Halen and Eddie Van Halen after he Craig gas broke up with a girl Let him live in the 5150 studio. Well, well, I don't know if he let him well Yeah No more about this because he said he was actually listening to Van Halen rehearse.

I just know one of my favorite stories and I'll go back to the thing with the fight, but one of my favorite things with Craig is I happen to be with Eddie Ift or I saw him shortly after this happened. And I know that Craig Gass was staying at Eddie Ift and Steve Steve Byrne's apartment house, I guess, in LA a lot. He was crashing at their place. And I know as someone who had Craig crash at my place, he also left all of his belongings

instead of getting storage in my dining room for two years almost. Jesus Christ. You were just his in New York apartment. Yeah. And he would stay and sometimes he would like leave garbage and he would leave my balcony window open was another thing he did at one point.

So. I can't tolerate that type of person. No. I just can't do it. Well, I think he's changed a lot now, I hope. He hasn't been my house guest in a long time. He comes back and stays at your new house. But Eddie.

Man, you mind if I live in this garage for. I said you lived there for months. I know, the thing that made me laugh about that is when listening that or talking to Eddie Ift afterwards, he was like... He's like, Eddie Van Hansen. I was like, no, he was singing Eddie Van Ift's house at that time. At that exact time. So, I don't know. Who knows? It's pretty elaborate, the story he tells. Right? I know, right? Like detailed... Could be true. Now I gotta get him

in here. That's crazy if he made up a whole. I became friends with Eddie Van Halen. I don't think he did. Lived in 5150. I don't think he made it up. If I went to Eddie Van Halen's house and he was like, dude, just stay, I'd be like, no. Right, yeah. I'd be like, this is weird. No, dude, I'm good. I have an apartment. Well, this. Or hotel even. Something, yeah. He'd be like, this is weird. No, dude, I'm good, I have an apartment. Well, this... Or hotel even. He said he had nothing, but he broke up with a girl who was, I think, previously dating Eddie Van Alen's manager or assistant or roadie or something. He's a, what would you call him, like a nomad type of comedian?

He didn't have like a steady house for years. He would just show up in a town knowing that somebody he knew would be there and show up at your gig and be like, yo dude, can I get on? And you're like, yeah? Also he'd be like, I brought Wolfman Jack and the guitar player from Tesla.

Yeah, yeah, so there was always something, some little morsel he'd have for you. Did you four if I bring the current lineup of rat Yeah, yeah It was weird now also early comedy though Craig got me easy roped in because he was throwing out my childhood With the people he knew it was just that it was like hey you want to go see Cinderella and poison. I'm like yes Yeah, and it was great. We get to see all these shows was pretty fucking all he always had like a weird hookup But it was uh, but he's at your house doing blow

Yeah, we go even windows open. Yeah, we are driving down with him and Isabella baby Isabella We're dropping her off at my mom's to go to this concert and then we're gonna come back pick her up afterwards We gotta call when I hear the thing about DeRosa, what DeRosa tells me about the Coke, I call him out on that and he was like, oh, I was like, dude, what the fuck you doing, man? I was like, I have a baby. By the way, we just drove down to Philly with the baby

and he goes, what did he say? He was like, yeah, I always forget you guys have a kid. Like, who's sitting next door? So, we went down... You're giving props for honesty. We went down to the concert, and at one point Craig asked me if he could get my keys, he wanted to get some out of my car. I was like, sure.

So funny though, he just came home, he's resting his beer on your baby's head. Oh shit! I forgot, you guys. Oh, that's not a baby-shaped table? Oh, look, it's cooing. It's a perfect coffee table, dude. Look at the perfect height of your child's head. Your baby holds my drinks for me.

Yeah, I hope you guys don't mind. I clogged both your toilets. I'm sorry I put my Coke straw behind your baby's ear. I had no right to put it. I accidentally tried to flush a sock. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, there. Look at your coffee table. It's ear. He had no right to put it. Hey, I accidentally tried to flush a sock. Oh, there. Look at your coffee table. It's adorable. So he has to use...

I go to my car. My car, by the way, a month old, first brand new car I ever got, Hyundai Santa Fe. Ooh. Automatic power windows. Ooh. CD player. Did you have the CD portfolio? No, actually, I think I purposely asked for a tape player,

because I was gonna use the, my, at that point I think I had at least an MP3 or an iPod, one of the first ones, that I could hook in and play through the tape. Oh, the tape one. Well, you had to put the tape in and plug the tape into the... Tape into the iPod. With the little headphone cord. Yes. Fuck, we've come so far. Oh, the tape one. Well, you had to put the tape in and plug the tape into the- Tape into the iPod.

With the little headphone cord. Yes. Fuck, we've come so far. I know. So far. Now I just tell my phone, put on Toto, hold the line. Now playing it, what are you gonna hear it on? I go, throw it on Apple Music.

Crazy how far, we've come in such a short time. Such a short time with that stuff, it seems. But, so I got this new Santa Fe. So, Greg goes, could I use the keys? I gotta get something out of my car. He said a charger or something. And he vanishes, and then he comes back. And he goes, at one point he's like, whoa dude,

he goes, I just hooked up with three chicks. I was like, oh, all right, cool. At the same time, I'm also with Carla, so I can't overly be like, damn dude, are they still hanging? Yeah, I was just like, okay. But then I'm also like with Carla so I can't overly like be like are they still hanging? Like I was just like okay, but then I'm like You were just like why would you do that? Well, I was like I'm like almost like how like what the fuck is that God would and then I go wait a second

In my car and he goes yeah Proud Absolutely proud. Well, you're supposed to be yeah. If you're from the early 80s and you're fucking 15, that's his mentality. He goes, yeah. Yeah, that's his, if you're, that's his fast times at Ridgemont High fucking life. I go, dude, it's my first, it's a brand new car, man.

Like come on, and you know, a brand new car, it's 18 grand, or it was 17 grand, but it's the biggest thing in the world. Plus your chick and your baby are in it a lot. All the time. And they have to. Now there's load. Was there a baby seat in the back seat?

Yes. So. 100%, one of them sat in it. It was definitely touched by some fucking backstage at a corn Lincoln Park show pig. She was just flicking her bean in your baby seat. Look at me, I'm a little girl. What's up?

Drive around, get me a lollipop. Goo goo ga ga. I'm sticky. Ooh. Clean me up, I got wee wee. He tells me I'm pissed. For like the rest of the night. Pissed and half hard.

And I'm half hard, I'm jealous. And we, so whatever. But we watched the rest of the concert and Pissed and half hard. And I'm half hard, I'm jealous. And we, so, whatever. But we watched the rest of the concert and it's like, we're having a good time, and it's like, all right, whatever, let's just kind of get past that. We go back to the car, we're parked backstage. We go back to the car, when we go in there,

we start realizing, one, there's like fucking mud, like on like back seats and dashboards because it's fucking festival concert, you know what I mean? It's just terrible. So everything was dirty. Or one of the girls shit. Yeah. Then we noticed Carla put in the glove box,

we went in there, she had a cash, she works for Comic Strip so she had a lot of cash on her. And she goes, I don't think I'm gonna bring all this cash in, I'll put it in the glove compartment box. More backstage, you know? And her mom had gotten her a cameo, you know, pendant, and that was in there too. She looks inside the thing, both gone.

All the cash and the things gone, and the cameo. So now we're furious, and I'm literally getting ready to punch Craig, like Craig, it's a weird situation. And then we see they left their cell phone there. Stroke of luck. I go, Craig, call them to come get their phone. And don't be weird. Just like, hey, you guys left your phone here

if you want to come grab it or whatever. And they're really short on the phone, but they're like, yeah, where are you guys at? And he's like, wait, where ever we were. Before, now a minivan pulls up. Three girls jump out. Also two dudes. Oh, shit.

Who are definitely their boyfriends. This is like a gang? Now Craig's already hooked up with these chicks, but they're walking over now with like, I see their face go like, can I have my phone, please? Like to Craig or something. And then I took the phone, or no, Carla took the phone, and was like, no, blah, blah, blah.

Now the guys start coming over, and I'm very happy to tell them what's going on. The husband. Wait a minute. Husbands, yes. It's husbands. At least the one. You sure this wasn't like some type of-

One was a husband, one might have been a boyfriend, but the one was definitely a husband. Is this one type of gang, how they steal people? You guys, look, you guys are gonna go fuck this guy, rob him, and then go back. No, because this guy wasn't thrilled with what I was definitely husband. Is this one type of gang, how they steal people? You guys are gonna go fuck this guy, rob him, and then go back. No, because this guy wasn't thrilled with what I was telling him. Oh, you told him.

And Craig, yeah, I go, you're fucking pig girlfriends or whatever. And he's like, wife, or whatever. And it's like, fuck my friend in my car, and then they robbed my shit, so I want my fucking shit back. And Craig's, and I'm going like, the guy's going to and I'm going like,

the guy's going to Craig, he's like, is it true? And I'm like, Craig? You gotta deal with me, for sure. You know what I mean? I'm like, and Craig was like, yeah. And I was like, and they stole my fucking shit, and I want it back, and he's going like, ladies, blah, blah, blah.

And then the guy's now getting embarrassed, and he's pissed. And he goes. Why is he getting embarrassed? Because his wife and her friends just fucked Craig Gass in my car and it's being yelled out in front of, by the way, crew members from Korn and like... They didn't think it was Craig Gass, they thought it was Gene Simmons. Correct. They thought it was, in fairness, we thought it was Sam Kinnison and Gene Simmons.

Oh, oh, suck my cock. So, the guy goes, at one point he just wants to leave. You tell the husband, like, big guy. And he was like, he's like, yo, we're fucking leaving here. And he goes, get your phone. Or like, you know, it's like, they have my phone. And he's like, get your phone and we're getting out of here.

Is he not believing you at this time? Or is he mad because he believes you? Is he like this? Oh, he believes me. I mean, why is her phone there? I mean, everything adds up. The girls aren't making other excuses. It's just like awkward as fuck, and I'm barking. I'm like making the scene for sure.

What do you, how are you, I don't know your anger. Like, yeah. Yeah, you do. I know it a little bit. Can I, can I hear what you were saying? How you doing it? Hmm. It's not for air.

Let me see. No, no, no, they were all, they were all white. Can I can I hear what you were saying how you doing it No, they're all they're all white I What do you mean not for air? All right, listen, and we're just gonna get out of here. No, no one's fucking getting out of here Okay, I want my shit back and then you and your whore bag fucking wives can get out of here We smirking a little bit at the time? Well I am now because I see Lou's filming and everyone I'm putting on a show. This is why I'm a bad auditioner. I mean dude, you gotta get the part.

I go because you killed my brother. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. So I'm barking.

So I'm barking. And then the guy, but this is a quick, it's a quick turnaround because this guy like uh. He barked back? They have kids, they have everything. It's not that, he goes get your, not with him. Not with him,, they have kids, they have everything. It's not that, he goes, get your, not with him, not with him, but they have kids, we found out. Because he goes, well, we're leaving.

The girl's, they have my phone. He goes, well, get your fucking phone. And Carla kind of has like a, well, I have the phone. And he goes, and you ain't getting it back till we get our shit back, or till the cops get here, whatever. And then the guy was like, beat the shit out of her and get your phone right now, we're leaving.

And then I grabbed the phone from Carla and I go, well now I've got the phone, who's gonna come beat the shit out of me and get the phone? That guy couldn't have stepped into my face quicker. And I immediately, I mean, I held face and ground, but like my insides were definitely going like, his whole life has fallen apart tonight at a Linkin Park corn concert.

And I am just like, I'm down 400 bucks. You know what I mean? Like he's got far more fury in him than I do right now. And almost at that exact moment, the cops pulled up. So the cops do a whole thing. Cops are useless as always. They didn't search.

Why I don't call them. They went in one of their purses, found the 400 and exactly whatever dollars cash it was. They said can't prove cash. Did not find the jewelry on them and that was it. And they were just like, and they said, they go, well if we found, or no, I'm sorry, it wasn't to that point yet.

They were like, well we can't do anything about it. So I just go, and they're letting them go. So I go, I'm telling Craig, I'm sorry wasn't that to that point yet. They were like, well, we can't do anything about it So I just go and they're letting them go so I go I'm telling Craig. I'm like, yo You're replacing the four hundred some dollars tonight the guy who's living with you rent-free has nothing He wasn't living there. You just spent the night spending all his money on cocaine. Yes. Okay that guy $400, please some four dollars some dollars, but then they get in their minivan and pull cops had pulled away Some four and some dollars, but then they get in their minivan and put cops that pulled away They get in their van and they drive away when they drive away Carla looks over and she sees Not just her cameo like the little jewelry, but they took

Isabella's toys her baby's toys and Carla so weird, right? They just took the kids' toys out of our car. That's crazy. Well, they do have kids. Yeah. But it's crazy to do that. Hey, look what we robbed you, honey. Oh, Sarah will love that. When she sees that in that Vans search right away, Carla goes into, and what's funny is a guy

from a corn crew who I got to tell years later, I only saw him one other time than this, but I'm like, that's the guy. This from course like an Asian long hair like DJ type guy And he goes is that your stuff right there? And when Carla did see that to terminator to run to the van to this van while it's moving jumps on the back bumper and grabs the luggage rack while it's slowing for a turn and Then the cops pull it over again. It's wild.

It's getting in it. Getting in it. So, cops pull it all over again. What are you doing when she's running and jumps on the, what are you doing? Just standing there? Saying, holy shit. I was just laying by my hands in my head.

I was like, I've never seen her move like that. She's like, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t. Hauling. I wanted somebody to animate that. Just Carl, I mean, dead-faced, hauled and caught a van on foot. And jumped on it, jumped on it moving. It was crazy.

Was she just hanging on the back or on the top? They stopped the truck, I mean, hanging like yards after she was on it. Right. But she was hauling it. And the uh, I keep it she didn't fall or nothing, thank God. But like she, um, so they ended up arresting them all. How, on what? So, well, that's initially they were helping us and being doing the right thing. Then they, uh, so they take them all in and they ask us to go, Hey, if you want to press charge and stuff, doing the right thing. Then they, so they take them all in, and they ask us to go, hey, if you wanna press charges and stuff, you gotta like, come to the station.

And they're giving me all the reasons I shouldn't. They're like, it's gonna be a process. Like if you go, it's gonna be probably a couple hours or whatever, and I was like, no, but fuck that. Yeah, because you're not even giving us our money back. You're still saying the money is nothing. And like, so yeah, we wanna press charges, for sure. And then I call my mom, mom, we're gonna be like,

way late, this happened, blah, blah, blah. yeah, we want to press charges for sure. And then I call my mom, mom, we're going to be like way late. This happened. Blah, blah, blah. Okay. We go to this police station while we're sitting there, about an hour and a sitting there when me and Carla like, what the fuck, man, this sucks. This sucks. Just sitting here. I'm exhausted. We're not getting the money back. Any way, you know what I mean? It's like, it's going to be an ordeal for us now. And then you hear Craig is in the back with a circle of cops around him. He's going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

And they're like, oh, dude, I told you, it's the guy from Alistair. And they're, they're loving it. Me and Carl are just. And then the cop, when he comes over, they start talking to us. One we see on the cameras, they put them all in the same cell, which is hilarious.

All of them, by the way, guys and girls, all in the same cell, where I'm like, I mentioned. I go, hey, I think I watch enough TV that, like, aren't you supposed to not let them sit in the same cell and concoct what they're going to say while they're waiting to talk to you? And they go, eh. Yes.

It's not a murder. When I talk to them, the guy goes, if, uh. Listen you you say nothing about the pendant and don't mention the toys. All right, so he goes uh He goes um, what's the thing? We start talking to the cop and he's taking our statement He goes all right. We're gonna let him go tonight After after you guys go I was like you're gonna let him go tonight I'm like how why is that like on bail or something and they were like no No, we're gonna let him go and if I'm like, why is that? Like on bail or something? And they were like, no, no, we're gonna let him go. And if you wanna press charges, something like this. But we're not pressing charges,

you have to press the charges. And I was like, what's the, I don't understand what's going on. And they go, the guy goes, well, I don't know, but would you want me to press charges on you if we found some, if somebody accused you of stealing something and we found it under your car? He just asked that question to me.

I was like, yeah, because that means I took it. I probably took it more than likely. So he has press charges. I have to prove it. They're hoping cops do this. I hate that they do that. They always do that. They always try to make it as difficult as possible.

Because I want to go home. Because they don't want to deal with it. They just get it out of the way. Especially nothing violent there necessarily. If we press charges against you. Everybody. Everybody's going to jail. You get arrested, everybody gets arrested.

And that's bullshit by the way too. I know. Bullshit. They just want you to go, nevermind. Cause I, listen, me and Louis both, different occasions, have called them on that. And I said, okay, I'll get arrested. Just arrest this person too and you could arrest,

that's fine. If it's everybody or nobody, then I'll go too. And they went, no. So the cop was like, yeah we're kind of letting them go so Kind of quickly. I was like fuck that we're leaving and well you did it worked. Oh, it had a choice. Yeah I go fuck really even Craig's giving us the money back. We got all the stuff back, you know, I mean analysis like Whatever so we leave we're getting in the elevator And I mean as this elev is closing the guy the husband

gets in Jumps in last and cops are coming behind him and he gets in the elevator last second Oh, and the door closes and it's me carla him and craig galley. Yeah But it was very it was one floor we were going down I think or two maybe But either way we get in the elevator and the guys in, the cops should definitely be waiting at the bottom floor here, but in that elevator ride, the guy goes, no Craig, I ain't got a problem, I just wanna say, he goes, you fucked my wife, right?

Like you fucked my wife? And Craig's just kinda like, yeah. And he goes, and just for the record, I'm gonna get a divorce, you know what I mean? So I just wanna make sure, he goes, and he's like, she sucked your dick and everything, huh? And I don't think Craig is seeing that this guy's doing the thing, he's gearing himself up.

He's hyping himself up to hit him again, and to do something. He wants to take this fury out, so he wants to get a little weird, and Craig's like, yeah. And then the door's open and the cops all came in, and they just kind of grabbed that dude, and that guy was like, no, no, no, no,

thank you, Craig Ass, because you got me, or Craig, whatever it is, yeah, Craig Ass. He kept saying, thank you, Craig Ass, you got me, now I know I'm gonna get divorced, and blah, blah, blah. It was such a weird scene. And then. Funny if he did it in Al Pacino's voice.

I stuck my finger in her ass. Hooah. Hooah. So your wife saw. Your wife saw. Hooah. I shot by two. I shot by two.

She blew me. I fingered it. And I fucked it. And I also, I came to her eye. Beat it. He just kept going on with stuff that she did. Well the best, the oblivious Craig Gaestown era, oblivious drug addict Craig Gaestow, we were driving home, we went,

shamefully picked up Isabella from my mom, who's like looking at Craig, and like knows the whole story now too, and it's like, this guy seems like a jerk off, huh? So you put Craig in the backseat with the kid? Once again. And then, I let him sit in front. It's like this guy seems like a jerk-off, huh? So you put Craig in the backseat with the kid once again and then Yeah, it's like a both stare at the footprints from some pig in Jersey so we and then I always I was looking at the sign because I also had a bad license

So I have Carla drive also at this point now because like I would always drive But it's like the cops were watching us Lee. I don't know I was just like you drive tonight and she's driving back the cops were watching us, I don't know, I was just like, you drive tonight. And she's driving back, because I remember sitting on that side when exit nine of the turnpike, Craig S leaned forward and he goes, those chicks were hot though, right? And I'm like, come on, dude.

You're out of your tree. He is, he's out of it. Very, very, very different. Now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah, he always used to show up at my shows and I was like, dude, I don't really want you.

I think he's a big sobriety person now, like big sober, probably helping people and shit like that. There's a couple people that I did that. Jay Moore is fucking good at shit together now too. Sounds fantastic. I think Jay Moore is one of the funniest dudes ever too. And I'm glad he got his shit together. Jay Moore was always the type of guy

I wanted to be friends with. Craig Gass was a guy who kind of I stayed away from because I knew he kind of latched on to shit. Sure, well yeah. Because he had to, he needed something in this town. Yeah, I'll say look, he figured out his, I mean he would come and he got an apartment for like a couple months and it got robbed

And that's when I think he took some out of that apartment put it in my apartment. Yeah, I just know I stayed away from him I was so it was funny, but I was just like there's something up with well to me also in fairness I mean, I always like Craig too. I enjoyed like bullshitting with him we guys love the same shit, but the music thing but also like I said in fairness to like the We guys love the same shit, but the music thing but also like I said in fairness to like the People kind of like taking advantage of each other's situations like I mean I went to I Got to meet panter before dime bagged. You know, I mean that was all a Craig gas shit. Yeah Why we were in the snake

You got in the snake Craig brought us different or different or before So if I knew Craig if I was friends with him, we could have gotten a snake pit. Craig could have definitely walked you right into the snake pit. He definitely knows Metallica. He just walked up with two wristbands that said snake pit, hand them to us like it was no big thing. He goes, here you go, now go into the greatest thing you've ever been a part of in your life.

Yeah, that's what we were supposed to have. We were, but it was too packed in there anyway when we went. But didn't Craig like, you know what? What the fuck? Max couldn't see, I forgot how small Max was. It were, but it was too packed in there anyway when we went. But didn't Craig like... You know what? Ah! What the fuck? Max couldn't see it, I forgot how small Max was. We weren't in the snake pit. Well, I know, but we were on the outside,

it was the same view. No, you said when you get in there... But we saw how packed it was when we looked. But you said that it was not packed. Right, but it was. Because I was worried about it. It ended up being packed. No, but you said...

So for the best, we were in great seats. You said it never gets that packed. It looks packed, but it's not. How else would Max have become Henzo Grace? He's number one student if we weren't sitting in those seats. He's not with Henzo, he's with Igor. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That wouldn't even have happened.

It didn't. Right. You and Craig are good friends. Well, didn't Craig for years, like, defend that story? And then I forget what part of, um, it was, it wasn't, I don't know if it was O.A. or O.J. No, I told it on Opie Radio. Opie Radio. With Vic Kenley and them when he was on.

I told that story because Craig went on that show and told that story. And I didn't know after all the, Craig called me after I did that thing. He was super apologetic. And I was like, dude, it's fucking a bazillion years ago and it's a great story. Because he was just like, he's always told it from his perspective and when he was on drugs and stuff.

And his story was always, when he told it on Stern, that's one of the most hurtful things that ever happened on Stern to me. Because I had told Artie Lang and Gary Delabatte that story separately. And Craig Gass started coming and telling the story of that night.

But did he say you by name? No. He just said chubby comedian from Philly? No, he's just my friend. He was more talking about the story of like three girls sucking my dick in my friend's car or whatever. That's better than what Stern called Patrice. He goes, that fat guy who went to Brazil.

Yeah. Yeah. But no, he just was, it wasn't, he goes, that fat guy who went to Brazil. Yeah. But no, he just was, it wasn't, he wasn't, and he probably did say my name actually, that's why I think they got a hold of me. But yeah, no, he said my name, but his story was just like this thing like, yeah, they ended up doing some shitty stuff, these girls, but it was just like a hero story

of like how he hooked up with three chicks, and then when, but it was so many wrong facts in it that when I went on Opie it says good clip that's out there when I went on Opie I was like just play Craig's story play it and I'll tell you to stop the tape whenever it's wrong and I'll clarify what's going on here and then right away he says something he was like he's like so my friend Jay picks me up from the train station and I'm like, stop the tape. He stayed at my house the night before, in fact did coke off my table

while my baby was sleeping in the other room. Go ahead, start, were you there for that, Lou? I was absolutely there, that was the first time I met you. Oh yeah, yeah, that was a fun, so it was a really classic clip in that regard because I stopped the tape every five seconds to correct whatever Craig has said, crazy. But Craig called me,, he was super,

even called, he reached out to Carl afterwards, but I thought it was very sweet. Oh yeah, look, Lou's right there. Oh wait, no, that's not Lou. That's Carl. Wow. Wow. You can't even say all black people look the same,

that guy's not black. I said that as it was changing. I'll tweet this out. Oh, you're saying that black Lou looks like a fading in Carl? I'll tweet this out. Oh yeah. who's that? Is that Vic Henley? Yeah to those two guys are dead Yeah, and the other guys career Isn't he coming back with something opi I thought I heard on what on this I don't know how uncomfortable that heavier

Yeah, you dude you look Wow Do you a big? damn It's fucked up looking at you fat right what year it's only seven years ago. You'd already lost I think that's just like a bad. No you think that is not a good picture You think that was fucking he lost like most you lost like 70 pounds Everybody else looks the same in the video that you're saying, but Jay's part is a messed up part of the video.

Yeah, everybody else looks super slim. Only the right corner of this video got fucked up and made people fat. Just the angle. It's not an angle, Christine. Your boyfriend's fat at that time. No, I think there's something with the refraction, though, actually.

Look, refraction, yeah. If refraction means food in your face. No, I think the way the light hits that thing. No, it's perspective. It's not perspective. You're bigger than anybody else in the room. It's like looking through a plastic cup at a tree. The tree is going to be like, it's different.

No, things are just different. No, it's AI, when they didn't have AI. It's pre-AI. They have a fat AI filter on you, Jay. That's all? That's all it is. No fat AI filter. What's the big whoop? Dude, I look at my special kill box.

I want to puke every time I see it. It is crazy. I also don't understand why you decided to hold off on facial hair until you lost the weight. Why didn't you give yourself any semblance of like face shape? I only had a... I didn't understand fat techniques of the face. Because you were too back and forth. No, I knew. You took off everything that can hide fat, head hair,

and then you'd purposely, look at, Bobby, facial hair right there would be changing your life. Now that side view is not gonna help. Well, listen, the side view is. From the front on, from the front on, it takes away that whatever that little chin is that you grew on your regular chin. Little?

It was part of my chest. That was some of my tits on my neck. Oh, yeah. When your chest grew into your fucking head. How about this? That side view was my idea because I wanted, but now looking at it, wow, a mistake. Shoot me side view. That's why I can't watch or edit any of my things because I would say dead front camera the entire time.

Well, we killed a whole angle on Webster Hall. Thank God. Well, how about me? It's 900 degrees in Tampa at that time. The AC was fucked up, and then I decided to wear a leather jacket. Hell yeah. How are you not pouring sweat?

Oh, his armpits are fucked up. God damn it. Did you have a towel? I had a towel on stage, yes. I had a towel on stage. Nice, like a black comic. That's how black comics behave. Yeah. And to edit out all the towel wipes.

Yeah, but I actually. And you go, whoa-wee! But unlike a black comic, I used it. I didn't look wet the whole time. Fatty, fat, fat. That was your thing, oh, fatty, fat, fat. And then they all cheer, and then you tap your head a little bit.

Look at my, isn't that weird? You wanna find me a fine ass bitch, you go to church, dude. I thought my sweat marks formed a bonfire logo, but it's just the bonfire logo burnt into the screen. I ain't scared of y'all. Yeah. DJ kick it dude.

Wow, I mean look at that. I'm doing my leather special. By the way, the bonfire logo I thought was sweat. That's what I just said. Oh you said it was sweat? I thought you were saying that it was a watermark. I was excited. I was looking at my fat sweat from the bonfire like Christ Go back to Jay's video. Can you go back to that one? I'll compare it. I mean, I think we were both the same size right

Yeah, that's your heaviest Yeah, that was three three fifty three sixty. No shitiest? Yeah, that was 350, 360. No shit. All right, that hurts. My heaviest ever was 340. Yeah, but you're, I don't know, I got nothing. That was, Killbox was your heaviest? Killbox was my heaviest, yeah.

Was that right after Montreal? When did you shoot Killbox? Wow, Jay. Was that right after Montreal? When did you shoot Killbox? Wow, Jay. What? I just don't remember you being that big. No, I was substantially bigger than this. I mean, Z-Rock, you're heavier. You were bigger than this.

Oh, yeah. You look, I don't know. I didn't see what lost you. You were like, what'd you say, 350? Because you went down to like 280. 340 was my most. Yeah. You were only 340 was your fattest.

Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm sure. You weighed yourself all the time? No, but I mean I'd get weighed. Do you weigh yourself when you start CrossFit? Oh yeah they did. What was that? When I started CrossFit though I think I was like three... oh it's my fucking rickety goddamn thing over here. It doesn't cover the wires. Probably about three, 10 or 20 then. I lost anxiety weight. You know what, Wade?

2010. I hate the scale at the doctors where you have to. Kink, kink, kink. You have to go kink, kink, kink. Kink. Sucks. Kink, kink, kink. Kink, kink, kink, kink.

Buddy, I mean, when I didn't hear the three kinks anymore was a huge day for me. It's a great name for a band, the three kinks. And by the way, sometimes I get them, sometimes doctors were so used to doing the kink, kink, kink, they'd throw it up the 300 and then start seeing what a little one goes. The first time they had to dial it back,

I was like, shut up. Yeah. Two something. I mean, it's so funny how heavy it is. 292 on a scale, I remember the first time I saw a thing where I was like, shut the fuck up, dude. What? Under three, in my mind I was always around 305, something like that, if I was like, you know.

I was always like 190. I know, it's crazy. I was always 190. My fucking best weight was like, you know. I was always like 190. I know, it's crazy. I was always 190. My fucking best weight was like 180 when I was shredded. And then I went up to 220 at one point, and I was like, wow, that was my fattest. When I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office, I think the last time I had weighed myself,

I was still under two, maybe two, two something. When I was 360 or 350, and I heard the doctor was just like, that's not good. And I was like, all right. That's an understatement. Yeah, she was, that's not good. And I, cause I blew away the scale. And she was like, she wanted to put me on an Ozempic.

She was like, I have this- I thought she said she wanted to put you on an ozempic. She was like I have this I think she says you want to put you on an animal scale Well, we have we weigh large sea creatures in this other room That was a Louis bit when they had to take the fat woman to the zoo For the MRI they have a they have a fucking animal MRI that the poor lady had to go through I love it inside Belhaven obesity clinic used to take the fatties to the elephant to the to the Bronx zoo to weigh through? I love it. Inside Bellhaven Obesity Clinic used to take the faties

to the elephant, to this Bronx zoo to weigh them. When I came out of surgery and I was, you know, the next day, my, what was it, my thumb and index finger on both hands, I couldn't feel. Really? So I'm panicking, because I can't, no, it was my, these two fingers right here on both hands, couldn't feel. Really? So I'm panicking, because I can't, I can't, no, it was my, these two fingers right here, on both hands, couldn't feel. And I was like, oh my God, something went wrong.

Do you think Dan Cook came in while you were under and smashed your hand so you couldn't super finger anymore? No more sufis for you? You go, suck on this, how? My damn hands. I couldn't hold, and I could, so the doctor comes in, who's a friend of mine, I go, I can't feel my fingers. What happened? He goes, I don't hold, so the doctor comes in, who's a friend of mine, I go, I can't feel my fingers.

What happened? He goes, I don't know. And I went, I have to hold a microphone for a living. It was the gayest thing I've ever said. He's like, leave it in the mic stand. That is the solution. They tried to get me, they were like, all right, we're gonna get you an MRI,

but I didn't fit. And I remember just lying in the bed, she goes, all right, keep your arms and stay still. And I remember we were going in and I could feel me not fitting and just getting tighter and tighter. And I went, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And the machine just stopped and I was stuck.

And they had to like- Butter you. They had to just back me out of it, like slowly. And I was like, I'm not gonna, she goes, you don't fit. We don't have a size that fits you in the building. I'm sure I'm still too big for several rides, but like, that's just the worst feeling. That's a little, the one I always got nailed to me,

actually that and crushing was always walking around a mall. I just hated walking around malls. I mean, obviously you go to the sneaker store or whatever the other cool store, but you know, the mall is also something where you walk by and see so many clothes and you're like, man, it's a great hoodie. And it's like, yeah, it goes,

well, our largest is small and our smallest is petite men. So you're like, come on, man. Yeah, was it H&M? I don't even know. I still haven't tried. I still haven't tried just like a flat out mall. I'll do jeans, but I haven't tried a flat out shirt

from the mall yet. I drive by DXL and give it the finger all the time. Cause that's the only place I can go. I still feel I'm there, but all my hoodies that I'm wearing that are like my three X's now, if I just wear them to be like comfy, like I look like my neck comes out of them like I'm wearing my dad's clothes.

No dude, DXL, cause you could always tell, cause there's only like five cool fat guy shirts. Oh, the t-shirts, that was the worst thing ever. You're at the airport and you see another fat guy walking up with your Hawaiian shirt on. Oh, I didn't know you meant that. I thought you were talking about their... No, they only had like five cool summertime shirts.

I know, but... And then you, I'm getting that, and then you're somewhere and there's three other fat guys with just two different colors of the same fat guy DXL shirt. But that's not even as telling as their graphic tees they would have. They only had like a ham, so it was exactly goes,

why are so many fat people getting into this one new Nirvana shirt? Yeah, AC, DC. I had a Beatles one forever. They had Led Zeppelin, they had Beastie Boys, but it was never they always there's a lot of fat guys took the big double X Oh, yeah, I was triple X I would always do a because I wish I was short I would do 2x LT or 3x LT on those but it was uh, I always got the tall

That's right I always get the tall too because I was double X, but my stomach went out so much. Your belly would be hanging out. If I did thank you good night to my face, I remember there was two girls in the front row and I heard one of them go, oh God. And I remember I felt the air hit the bottom of my stomach

and I would literally say good night like this, see you later with my head, see you guys later, thank you so much and then I got you guys are cool Louie taught me about the tea because Louie's been fat he's gonna get the tea it's the tall the tall oh yeah yeah the tall the tall was a fucking game oh yeah there you go there's a nice one doesn't even look like you grateful dead you look fucking great but you don't even look like you in that The Ramones Ramones was a fact I want I didn't get Ramone

They had guns and roses. I had a brown Guinness. They'd do some beer ones. I get the beer. Yeah me and the guy Me and the guy who looked oh, yeah drop it no no drop kick Murphy sure was no. Dropkick Murphy's shirt was hot topic, actually, but it was short. I had to wear a tall undershirt. You had to wear something on it. Slinky. You always wore the tucked in wife beater. Still. Which was a good technique.

Always still. Yeah, that's a great technique. I wish I, in my fat, fat days, I wish I learned about that technique. These are so, these are all big and tall, Lincoln playing drums with a peace sign on it, but it was just like. With an was just like with an American flag, with an American flag on the bass drum.

Yeah. Is all fat guy shirts. All of them. Jerseys. What is that? Oh, there's the baseball. That's a I didn't know. He's maybe. Oh, buddy. Let me tell you some Dxl fat guy. Both of those. Punisher. What's the other punisher? Punisher. Had definitely and a hooded. I had the punisher. Oh, the Punisher. The Punisher, I had the Punisher. Definitely.

And a hooded. I had the Punisher. Damn, dude. Bobby, that's an eye-opener, because I never thought, basically there was one store. There's one store. And everyone had the same shirt. Here's the problem with DXL, too, is they're never connected to the mall. It's always by itself off in the distance, like a lonely fat kid.

The drive up chamber? Yeah, you had to drive up to it, and as soon as you walk in, another fat guy would walk up to you. And the mannequins, here's the problem with the mannequins, they never had fat mannequins, they were just like linebackers fat. Ben Bailey.

Yeah, they were like. They were Ben Bailey, they were just tall, broad men that would have great bodies. So the shirts still looked fat on the mannequins? Horrible. I don't understand why they're not in malls when like Torrid and Lane Ryan are in malls. Because they don't want fat people in the malls.

They want us on a route. Everybody. They know you guys don't like to walk. Yeah, exactly. We're gonna run out of bourbon chicken samples. Yeah, we're not gonna. Look at, that's just me with, that's with me and Rob Zombie's microphone stand,

I don't care, and five finger death punch behind. Whatever, who gives a shit. It's so far, it's just me. But that was me and Rob zombies microphone stand. I don't care and five finger death punch behind But those my guns and roses shirt Pantera was thing That was given to me I could never get the Budweiser or the alcohol ones because I don't drink so I could never partake in the alcohol ones Which I was envious, because they used to have the Budweiser. Dave Smith in Iron Maiden. Damn. Dave Smith. Wow. That's so great.

Look at that one up on the right, wow. This one? No, the right, that's the left. My right, your left. That? Yeah, you look, I mean, dude, you're still a cutie patootie, but you, wow. I understand the beard now, you made a face.

Yeah, Patrice called me on it, it hurt so much. He's like, what did he do with his hair, Joel? He was right. He took a stand. Who fucked her? Somebody fucked her. She has, I'm fucking one of these comments. There's the Beetle shirt.

Beetle shirt's great. The Beetle shirt was a classic. Go to DXL right now, see if they upgraded their fun fat guy t-shirts. Are there graphic t's? What do they got available now? I'm gonna take a guess. There's always an ACDC available. Rolling Stones was... I believe that was also Hot Topics. Hot Topics 3X. Hot Topics 3X

Hot Topics 3X used to always work good for me. But the thing about DXL is you're right they had the T. The 2X, the 3XT, when I got to the 3XT I was fucking sad. That's what I'm saying. All is that, all that red shirt? The door shirt. Why would you wear red? The doors was, I still wear red. Really? The door shirt was red. That was the fucking, as a fat guy,

the scariest color was red and orange. What is that? I didn't wanna be called big red. I saw, you would see people in the distance going, what's coming? There's something coming, what is that? And then it's, oh, it's just Bob in a distance going, what's coming? There's something coming, what is that? And then it's, oh, it's just Bob in a red shirt, fucking. What's the one there in the middle?

Christina, bottom middle, bottom middle. Who was that? That was them, oh yeah, there's Iron Cross. Oh, Orange County Choppers, that's what that was, and that was a biggie. Orange County Choppers had a, they would, I would get, I had two Orange County choppers shirts a year. Can I ask a question? Was this when you were doing magic in between jokes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I used Pizzazz fingers back then. What the fuck is happening? I don't know. I didn't figure out my eyebrows yet, probably. No, your eyebrows didn't figure out... You didn't figure out your face of hair either? My facial hair. Well, it's here. Oh, here we go. Here we go. It's here. It, it's here. Oh, here we go, here we go. It's here, it's the big neck. Oh, Grateful Dead.

Well, what are we looking at? We're looking at this big, DXL, which is called, it's DXL now, and they have the graphic fat guy tees. And there's only a handful at all times. I think I have more now. So you can actually go on the streets and when you see a fat guy, and're like you see a goony shirt or an ACV shirt

Know that there's you'll probably see for them. It's like when you're gonna buy a car I'm gonna get a Toyota and all of a sudden that's all you see You see a fat guy in a big shirt just know it's the things look at that paid a paid and full movie paid and full of all the movies. Godzilla? Godzilla shirt. By the way, they have up their game, by the way.

Yeah, because they used to just have, I remember the biggie shirt. I got the biggie. It was like 30 t-shirts, and that was it. But they rotated them in and out. Yep. And then one's gone, and then it was like, now Led Zepplin one comes in.

Yeah, they're realizing that fat guys need cool, kooky shirts. And by the way, again, these fucking models, I wish, oh Bobby, there you go, I'll get you a Yellowstone Ranch one. The Batman guy is a, yeah, he's a model. Yeah, well they can't put fat people. That guy's slim.

Yeah, he's, yeah. Right, no, some of them are chunky. Look at this guy. What does it go up to, Christine? What is the size that it goes up to? Doesn't it go up to like 5X? I don't know what's going on. Oh, they go up crazy.

Can you not say it disgusted? I think it goes up to, Doesn't it go up to like 5x? I don't know what's going on. Oh, they go up crazy. Do you not say disgusted? I think it goes up to, oh my Christ. Where is it? Click one. You click on any one. You got to click on one. And then go to the shirt. I think I could get it in a bazillion x.

Do you have this in infinity x? Here you go. Oh, 7x. No T? Once it gets to 6X and 7X, they're like. 7X, a family could live under. They stop, but isn't that funny that at 5XL, T is the last thing. Y'all goes, you might be morbidly obese and really tall,

up into including 5X. Yeah, 5, 6, 6XL, you really shouldn't care. 6 and 7X, 6 and 7XL is, like, you're going't care. Six and seven XL is, like you're gonna be buried in that shirt. There's no way, that's too big to make a shirt for a person. That's a 74 inches by 76 inches. I have a tarp that I rake my leaves on. Nice.

That is that size. Perfect. That's an outdoor tarp. Well get to seamstressing, dude. Eight XL, I've never heard of. 8XL. It goes to 8XL. Wait, wait, wait.

Yes, they go to 8XL. And then these are the XLTs. Oh, it goes to 8XL. Well, here's the thing. The size chart goes to that, but the shirt doesn't. Jesus Christ, man. That is, they should be a, they should. I'd like an 8XLT.

The chart is wishful thinking. Well, you know, here's the thing, though. That 8XL cost $700. If you're wearing... They are more expensive to make. If you're wearing an 8XL T though, like, it doesn't matter if there's a graphic on it. No one's seeing this.

You're not taken to the mall in your Deadpool shirt. Actually, you see it really great because it's so big. You should hire fat people from movies to walk around to. Oh, yeah. Advertising. Yeah. Fuck a billboard. Bobby, that's a fantastic idea. You just got yourself first Pippin of the year.

Oh! Oh! I got it. Ah! Ah! I saved the Pippin. Do you pay? Why does this still make me happy?

Let's see what bands they have. That's where the classic. Do you pay by the fat? Like, is it you go up? That's the big one. They know. It's more fat. They know that this is the only place you're gonna get in turn and the t is the one where they really know

You're gonna need this t the tall and they know that and they charge you for it They charge you extra for like a 1 2 X is not as expensive as an 8 X. So 1 X is So 1X is... What is it? What is it saying? 38. 38 bucks. Yeah, 38 bucks for a t-shirt, and then go to 6X. Just go to the 7. It's blocking me from picking it.

Because it doesn't want you to be that fat. It's not available. Oh, can you believe that, that the 7X isn't available? I mean, that's so much more cloth. You know, those Chinese kids who are starving that are making these shirts must be so annoyed. I mean, it must be like, why are we making big blimps to fly in?

No, these are shirts for Americans. The whole factory could fit in one of these t-shirts. It's crazy. I'll tell you what though. I'll tell you what, I'm a little pissed off though because go back up now. Let me tell you what, that's so much the Grateful Dead, that ice cube would have been a goodie to have at some point in my life.

You can still get it. You can still buy them. You can buy it, you just don't buy the fucking one you used to buy. Get the 1XT? I gotta see, T-shirt Kevin gave me 1XTs this time around. I gotta try it on and see. But is it, here's the thing, this is American XL.

There's European XL. Oh, I didn't know T- is it, here's the thing, this is American XL. There's European XL. Oh, I didn't know T-shirt Kevin was so worldly. Well, dude, you gotta make sure you get the American XL. It's a different thing. Hey, I got this from France. Well, dude, you go to Europe and you buy an XL, it's a medium here. I don't go to Europe, but I don't buy XLs.

I'm safe. Thanks for the warning, but I'm good. Can we buy an 8XL and see what it is? Yeah. Can we just buy the ice cube 8XL? Wait, wait, wait, let's keep going up, let's see. I would love to put that on to see how many. How many Jacobs can he fit in his ass?

Jacob, you can be so naked on the, ah, there's Nirvana, a lot of fat for Nirvana. Oh, Johnny Cash was a big one too. Sure. Johnny Cash giving the finger. Cash was a big one too. Sure. Johnny Cash giving the finger. That was a big fat guy shirt. Can we do a game like I'm doing something under the shirt but you have to guess?

Because there's so much cloth. Wait, wait, up, back up, back up. What's that one? Van Halen race car graphic tee, too busy. Fender girl, no. What a shit shirt for Van Halen. One of the coolest logos ever for a band. And they made a race car?

I like ice tea. Iron Maiden was never there before. That's huge. Rick Ross, that's too much of just a man's face and name. It's the Brady Bunch. Yeah, I don't like it. ODB. Ice Cube.

Boys in the Hood, come on. This is an actual industry now. It seems like when you guys were buying shirts it was like sublime would always be there more people are heavier now yeah they finally said why are we giving them a handful when we can make it billions listen I like myself I lied to myself I've always said I go man it'd be great to get famous and wealthy enough that like when I get to a point I go, I'll make the fucking clothing line that's like finally you can make a three quarter length

sleeve softball shirt of Led Zeppelin. That's what I always, the one I wanted was the Led Zeppelin shirt with the angel. And I'm gonna get to a point where I can make those clothes and I'll start making them, because they just were not and it just turns out I just wanted to fit into the regular ones I didn't want to keep buying giant blitz up one shirt