The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Cowboy In Culottes

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Jay, Bobby, and their ladies went to the home of Luis J. Gomez to watch the big game. Luis' new young girlfriend rubs Bob's wife the wrong way and Jay makes his world famous stromboli. Bob accuses Jay of giving him hope for his hapless Patriots when there clearly was none. | Kid Rock's halftime show got the gang talking because of its poor production and bizarre song choices. Bobby teaches jacob about the easter eggs in Bad Bunny's performance. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. I was over watching fucking Kid Rock, bring America back to it. Bring back to it. The Kid Rock was so bad. It was so funny bad. I heard it was awful. You didn't watch any of them? I watched two seconds.

A bad bunny? That I watched. What a show. I didn't watch the Kid Rock. Oh, you watched the whole Bad Bunny. First of all, the party, the impromptu party Lewis was throwing. he was like he I'm like I was like who's going to be there and he's because it matters and I go because I know his girl's going to be there and I just you know I didn't want to be there with one of

Lewis's girls and my max tries to say while Max can appropriately steal his girlfriend yeah with my adult wife so I called Jay Jay's like if you go I go so we're like all right I'm going who and I go who's going Jay Christine Dawn Max James my girl me I was like I'm in and then we showed up and there's just two rogue dudes. Just two wild cards. Well, it's Lewis's nephew who, I don't know, he genuinely could have been 41 years old or 12. Yeah, it's just, he had man-boy-face.

He's either 12 with a beard or 47 with pituitary issue. Yeah. It's one of those two, though. And then, uh, James, and then, uh, Maddie Jester Sculls. He's a run. He's a guest digital guy forever. I didn't, I didn't know him, though. But I came in and he was just staring at me.

You know what? If you saw him, maybe when he had shorter hair, you might recognize it. He's been around for you. I guess I met him a bunch of times. When I walked in, I didn't know him, but I guess he knew me and thought I knew him, and I came in hot. Yeah. I came in.

I was like, who the fuck's this? Right to his face. Yeah. Because I was just, I was just in shock that there was, because I thought it was just going to be us. Yeah. And it was so funny. I brought. And who else was your other little treat?

I brought. Who else was the other little treat that was there, though? Oh, oh, Joshio. Joshio. For us. Mc Joshio. Yeah, fucking micro-joshing me the whole fucking. I just came home from a full weekend.

of Josh traveling with his dog. And then he goes, I got the seat next to you. He told me that. It was great news. I go, I sleep on the plane. He goes, ow, I got the seat next to you. I go, so I sleep the whole time. But now it would be better. You're right if Leka was under my feet. It would be better if your dragon was underneath my legs while we were a thing. Leka is actually very good flight. All right. And we got to say that every time.

No, no. I know. If she was... No, no. Bobby. You know, I can't wait to tell you with Josh. Fuck up. I'm telling you. Leca was fine. I actually like it's probably better than Josh because Josh doesn't shut the fuck up the whole flight Hey anyways Yeah I do a comedy jam Dude he was he there's I love Josh

In the middle of the thing I'm watching the game I'm into the game And he just leans in Bobby let me ask you a question Do you think if he gets shut the fuck up Just stop fucking asking me questions I'm not fucking have a good He wants you to answer these questions In the middle of like when we have the ball

and if we get this down, it's a good thing. And he's like, Bobby, is this the way? Shut up. Stop micro-joshing me. You wouldn't have felt like this if your team didn't shit the bed. Listen, that's the point, though. If somebody's team is shitting the bed,

you don't talk to them. You don't ask them random fucking questions. Bobby, you kind of do. You don't. You were a fight. What you were doing was sly. Well, you, now, don't look at me like that. You don't.

Listen, I had a whole fucking night to think of it. You, your fucking little... You're going to make another assessment about me that's totally wrong. It's 100% wrong, and that's why Christine is gaggling, laughing right now, because she saw you do it. You were sitting there, passive-aggressively, supporting me and my team. Jay, I had a whole drive home to think about it

and a whole day to think about it. Your mind was in a bad place. You're thinking the wrong thing. No, it was not in a bad place. You were putting me in a bad place because you were giving me hope. I was giving you hope. Yeah. With a minute and 40 left trying to get three touchdowns. Correct, Lou. That's not Hope. That's a fuck you.

That's a fuck you. You're a sports fan. And you watch the whole season and the whole game. I know that, so it's a little different than Bobby. But we are talking about Super Bowles. He hasn't seen one of those in a while. It's been a while. It's been a while for sure.

But, I mean, like, one, he's half invested in it. I'm not half invested. I went outside at one point. His team is getting their assholes kicked in, especially whenever he's in the room, personally. Yeah, so I go outside the room. He's like, Bobby, stay there because they just got it down.

But isn't as a sports fan. Your thing is supposed to be. When there's still, I mean, any inkling of anything, you're supposed to just look at another fan and go, we're getting ready to watch the most amazing thing that's ever happened in football. Listen to me. A minute 40 left, Seahawks have the ball.

He says there's a shot. Bobby. Fuck him. Did you watch Super Bowl? You watch Super Bowl? You watched Super Bowl. You watched Super Bowl. You are a Super Bowl.

Lou, Fuck him, right? No, no, no. The Patriots are known from miracle comebacks with Tom Brady at the helm. What's what I was going to say?

Was there not still definitely a chance, a legit chance until Drake May, for some reason, started throwing wild hail Mary bombs like there was no more time. Yeah,

but he did. That's what he did. He threw terrible passes. He did. He did. But you were giving me hope the whole game with a tone.

But I was, it was genuine, Bob. It was not genuine. It was. Because by the end of the game, by that third quarter, when we went out to hide the smoke and stuff, by that third quarter, I was telling you,

I'm like, this sucks just on every level of, like, this should be a better game. Oh, the game sucked. So when I was, like, 33 to, like, whatever, so I was like, I hope the Patriots like staged some sort of a comeback to get the game going. They did a little, they got a little comeback going. No, this page, this, the Seahawks just stopped playing.

They stopped caring. You didn't have to do this. They were already celebrated. With two minutes left, go, dude, you never know. Never know. You do know. It's called math. They could literally take a knee four times and the game's over.

At one point, it didn't become that, yes. Yeah, yeah, and you were still trying to give me hope. I walked in yesterday. I stopped at 7-11, and I got a, I got a lollipop ring for Lewis's girlfriend. For Louis's girlfriend and the kids. How old is this one? This one. I don't know.

No, but I'll tell you what, I like her. She was great. She's 15. No, she's not 15. She was great. She was great. It was okay. Her parents are cool with it.

They signed all the forms. She was great. Coming from a very massaginistic point of view, as soon as we walked in, the dog peed, she cleaned it up. She gave, she, bitch knows her place. Yeah. When we were leaving, she wrapped up all the food and gave everybody to go thing. Lewis gave, when Lewis shoots her a look, you see her go like, yes, sir. Oh, she did give, she definitely got to talking to.

I know that she got a talking to Oh no well she did a fantastic It was great by the way when you left that was so funny And she is she's very sweet girl She's great and she uh she was mortified Because her opening thing with Dawn Stluis has a new little dog Adorable little oh my god

And we're all everyone's playing with like it's so little So it's like running all over everybody and going nuts And kind of dog that bite your face but you love it It doesn't hurt yeah it doesn't hurt oh It's so cute and it's running around And going nuts and everybody and then I think maybe Lewis or somebody said he goes, yeah, I was thinking of him and be getting like a doodle

because she does shed. And then Lewis's girlfriend just goes, oh, I know, though, because like doodles, though, are like the worst behaves, just the worst dogs to get. And then Dawn's first words to this girl ever in the world where we have a doodle. But with Don's accent, we have a doodle. Yeah, we have a doodle.

And just stare at it out. By the way, no words needed because the air said, what of it she goes we have a doodle is my doodle a piece of shit is my doodle one of these assholes you're talking about it was so good

when she left dude when she left Lewis right away started laughing at he goes oh it was so funny when she did this and she was like it wasn't funny I felt like oh my god when I was leaving I go you guys got to come over this summer we have a doodle so we'll

actually put her up for the day so it doesn't bother you she's like oh my God I'm so sorry look the Patriots shit the The Seahawks defense came through. Kid Rock, lip sing poorly, which we have to watch, please. But we're also going to watch some of this bad bunny. But I think really there was one clear champion of the night yesterday.

Go ahead, Bobby, tell them. The stromboli. The stromboli. Here's the problem with the stromboli. I'm sorry. I swelled up last night. Yeah. It's very salty.

I couldn't get my fucking socks off. 7,000. You had 7,000 milligrams of salt. I drove home. I kept pushing the brake and the gas at the same time. My foot was so fat. I believe you. My big trouble in little China, you just blew out of your foot and shoes.

Dude, when I had my little tray that she gave me this morning, I opened it up slowly, hoping to Jesus that she put a piece of stromboli in there. Nope. When we left, they were heating up the last few slices for themselves. Dude, it was a fucking hit. Strambole was a hit. Jacob, you'd have to hear about it, I suppose. Yeah, Jacob would never.

I brought stromboli in here before, though. Everybody had a little stromboli. It's so good. Here's why it's good. Just enough meat, not too little, not too much. Nothing worse than a too meaty stromboli. And the dough is thin and crunchy, perfectly cooked. And when you bite into it, you get all that savouriness, a little tiny of the little grease from the pepperoni and salami, whatever is it.

Oh, my God. And you bite it and your mouth explodes. Do you want to my layers from bottom to top? Go ahead. Mozzarola. Pepparoni. Bing. Cheddar.

Ooh. Salami. Yay. Cheddar. Yay. Pepparoni. Ying. Monsorale.

Bang. So good. But I was swollen. Yeah. I was swollen. I had heartburn. Like, I've hadn't had since I fucking have surgery. It's so, I mean, dude.

I ate 55 tons last night. How many pieces are? I was actually putting water in my Pepsi it and just mixing it up. It's the taste of it is so, I'm so confident in the taste of it. so that's Trimbole how good it is, that I do the Stephen Singer where he does with jewelry. I undersell it in that right.

I go, it's delicious, but I say, I go, it's a heart attack. Like, you're going to die. You can't have more to my... It's so dense. I tell every... I just give it to you, I go, try this.

And then I just give warnings. I don't even say anything about it being good. Because then they bite it and they go, fuck, I'm going to finish this piece. Yeah. I know, but I wouldn't have any more. I took a whole piece. Don took a bite.

I go, we can split it. She goes, no, I'm getting my own. I had none. She went over and said. Let me tell you how dense it is. When I made it, I cut two small pieces just for a taste to make sure it was done and everything and cut them in half, or we split them and half. Me and Christine split those, small little pieces from the middle.

Yeah. I didn't have a piece at Lewis's. It's like it fills you. You didn't have it when it loses? No. I had a piece. I had a piece and then my fatso and me went, go get another one before it's gone. And I got another piece.

I took one bite and I was like, I can't. I'm done. But then you did. I wish we had saved some for us. I'm so glad I don't have a wedding ring. I have a tattoo of Don's name. Make it in 20 minutes. My ring would have popped off my finger last night.

I mean, I was swelled. It stretched out. Look at Max's Don. They were all fat driving home. Well, I mean, Christina, I go to Skanksana. You could go get the ingredients. I could whip up some stromboli. Whip it up.

I should we bring in here tomorrow for lunch. Yeah, lunch. You're here. Yeah. All right. You love stromboli. I do. Trumboli is a tough one, though, because if it's too cheesy.

Doesn't exist. If it's too cheesy, it's bad. I don't make it wrong ever. Ever. It was good. Fantastic. You make a good stromboli. That should be your new nickname,

Stromboli J. Strambole. Yeah. I'll take it. Jay Strumble? You watched a little of bad money or all of it? No, I watched all of that. What did you think?

The Kid Rock one I didn't watch. What you think of Bad Bunny? A lot of people didn't know that Kid Rock was doing this, too, by the way. Is that what they're telling you is why the numbers are about? Is that your algorithm? My algorithm. today caught really like fucking Kid Rock, most of the

algorithm on my YouTube was like, Kid Rock killed it. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Everybody... The numbers were horrible. Everybody was either saying that a bad bunny sucked, it was terrible, it wasn't a merit, blah, blah, blah, and Kid Rock fucking murdered it. Or they're saying the exact opposite.

Well, I think there's just no, there's not even an argument here. They're not even talking about the game. Of course. The game was horrible. But they're not even... They're not to talk about. Bad Bunny, I don't know a word he said. This didn't inspire me to want to see him live or in concert or anything he does or buy an album. But through all of it, he has seemed to be like a pretty decent dude and put on a fucking hell of a halftime show.

Everything in the thing meant something. Yeah. All that stuff like the, remember the old lady? It looked like a bodega. Yeah, the gold. It's a Puerto Rican social club that's one of the last ones in Brooklyn that's still there. and that was the real lady. So we put her in it.

The telephone poles are actually the guys up in the telephone poles because Puerto Rico, they have outages all the time. They never have electricity all the time. So those are the guys trying to fix getting people electricity. That wasn't corn. Somebody watched the 25 things you missed.

No. I knew that the, because everybody's bitching about the corn. It's not corn you fucking idiot. It's sugar cane. And everybody's bitching about What the fuck does that mean? Everything in the had a meaning for Puerto Ricans, which is America, by the way. Yes, no, I know.

And I said all those trees were people. Yeah. Do you see one of the trees did the six, seven? Really? There's a time lapse of them going on the field. That's actually really cool. Yeah, it was like to get it to happen. It was better to, like, put people in costume.

They're bringing out props. Those are people? The trees are people. Yeah, those are actually Puerto Rican people. No, this is a video. This is a video. These are all Puerto Rican people they got. When it gets around him, that's all people.

That'd be hilarious. All these people who are illegal images that ICE is looking for. That'd be great. And they're just hiding them on the field and playing right, like pedophiles. I said, I have, did there any confirmation? I was going to say his shirt is like so, like, oversized to his pants, kind of that he's definitely wearing bulletproof. At the gram is.

Well, you said the grameys, I think, under this for sure. 100% of it. Because that's, it's weirdly thick. Yeah, he's wearing a bulletproofs all the time because he's, uh, every. What a crazy thing they have to worry about? He seems like a pretty. decent dude like at least his public persona he seems so personable

so nice so charitable like he's just a great guy and the end of his whole video was uh like an american hey we're all here together yeah I thought it was great I thought it was actually really good was it Prince no was it fucking Bruno Mars well again that's gonna be an age and like again also like an age and genre I don't give a fuck about

people are saying that there it's like Spanish language music doesn't matter they're saying there it sucked a little bit because it was made for us for TV. Yeah, they're playing views over, and it's like you couldn't see people going through. Yeah, the people there couldn't see what was going on for some of these things. They're in a sugar cane field. Like I was thinking, if you're in the stands,

you're not seeing any of that. Everything's a, every Super Bowl show these days is like a movie set. Yeah, but they're doing it for the billions of people watching, not the, you know, 100,000 there or how many of there. Yeah, pretty neat what they did, though. It's so funny, though, that people are, the stances people are taking.

I saw a video today. There was one bar that was playing the Kid Rock one. The owner changed it all to the Kid. And the one guy went to this place to watch the Super Bowl and see the Super Bowl halftime. And he was complaining like, dude, I came here for the Super Bowl experience. I didn't want to see this shit. He was going to, fuck you.

Go somewhere else. Time went over too, right? I think for the turning point one, the Kid Rock one, I think went over time. Like bled back into the game. I think but it's so did you see you didn't see any rock thing I just come two seconds of kid rock I don't know where they were to keep it was empty or not but I would tell you they just start again you have to know country I guess to call it the

all-American thing like maybe he should have diversified it a little bit not you think no I just mean like not just country like if they would have gotten like fucking if Ted Nugent came out and played something he's a lunatic fucking Republican let Ted Nugent come out and do something awesome. Kid Rock, you've seen all the stuff in the news today, though, right? He came out, it was weird. He sings, for sure. Not a difficult, I would say, maybe for him, I'm sure,

but like a song song. He sings it, but he comes out first for his headlining two songs he's going to do, to do ball with the ball, and mouths the words, but he doesn't know the word, like his timing's wrong. It's fucking crazy. To his own, not it's just his own song. his own song

he's played seven gazillion times since the day he's wrote it his defining song and he doesn't know when the lyrics are happy he's like he's like it's really strange

we were all into it we're all into it when he finally came out with the ball you're like oh here we're ready to go and then he pops out from the underneath the state let's go and then he

as soon as he missed the line and he could tell he was lip singing and we're all like and then he stopped giving a fuck it seemed completely yeah I mean like core

I'm telling you this is Corey Feldman level of bad lip singing. It's so awful. And they only had 300 people there. It was in an airplane hangar and the stage was as long as the airplane hanger. So it's like it just looked like one of my shows on a Friday. Is there really 300 people? Yeah, they had like 300 people there. That's what they said. Yeah. That's what Vanity Fair said. Yeah. Also it was like an exclusive event. I mean, also nobody wanted to go. Well, also you can't sell tickets on the fucking Super Bowl. Yeah, but there's a lot of people that would have came to a concert to see all these people. They were all famous enough to sell a thousand. you know, fill it up, let people come out.

Did we ever find out who these black? Is that the Booiah tribe we kept wondering that introduces Kid Rock? You know how many people reject? It was like, no, I'm not doing this, dude. Oh, yeah. They get down to the Booiah tribe? I don't understand the setup. Oh, we got to take a break.

We'll do it when we come back here. We should get callers calling in to tell us what they felt about if they like the bad bunny or the Kid Rock better when we come back. No one liked Kid Rock better. Dude, a lot of people like Kid Rock. A lot of people. Not a dude. If you were like, let's go, if you were like,

20 days in a row, we got to watch Kid Rock or Bunny Perform Live ourselves. Yeah. I'd pick Kid Rock every time. I like Kid Rock's like the older music and stuff. I like this thing. I was into it. So I'm not anti-Kid Rock.

That was insanely bad. Yeah. It was so bad. He's a fan. It was horrible. People are still saying it was better. It was fucking garbage. I don't know how, but they are.

That's your out. Bobby, that's your racist white cracker. or algorithm. I don't. I don't. I don't. Call in 8669-669-1969 and let us know what you thought of the Super Bowl halftime. Either one.

You don't have to be ashamed. If you look, Kid Rock killed it. Call in. If you like Bad Bunny. Nobody thought Kid Rock killed it. I guess. I was, I was, I would, if I would go over. I'd be happy to come on today and be like, yo, that show was nuts.

They got, you know, this guy, that guy to come out. And it was really cool. It wasn't, that show wasn't formed. I'm not a fan of most of those people except Kid Rock and Kid Rock ate ball bag. You don't believe in Jesus or America. Not after that. I guess not. Dude, so I saw another thing that I have Charlie.

It says everyone's favorite widow, Erica Kirk, and it's like her, it's just AI, but it's like her doing like pole dancing and like an America thing like coming down all crazy down a pole. Did she make an appearance? We didn't even watch the end of that. No. No, she did not. All right.

All right. She's going to get a ticket. Uh. They call me cowboy. I'm a singer in black. Now throw a finger in the air. Let me see where you're at. Hey.

Say big J. Get up on the thing, Bobby. Get up on the thing, Bobby. You got to get up. I can't. You have to do all this on the top thing. I have to do all J movements. You're doing my J movement.

My jeans are too tight. There he is. Or you can suck my dick. I'm going to fuck some hoes after I rock this place on. It does feel good. I know you do, Jacob. This is the place. The reason why I had to stop, Jacob was just staring at my groin.

Absolutely was. Not even blinking. I locked in on it. Yeah, why'd you lock in on it, kid? Well, I mean, you're thrusting it in the air. What do you do? You did know. I'm throwing it out there.

Everybody took a real good gander and really enjoyed bad bunny's big, fat, enormous cock bouncing around. He's got a big old Puerto Rican sauce Apparently it was a big thing It was a big point of contention He had a nice piece swinging Can we find out Do we find out who introduced Kid Rock?

Oh no let me look up It was bad Well hang on let's give it a second Maybe we expected too much yesterday It's funny too because all country people Are dressing like hip hop now which bugs me They all have these like cool little jackets But they don't zip because they're still country fat

You know what I mean? Absolutely. No, they're all wearing way too tight button-down, like leather shirt, like shackets. Yeah, dude, just put a flannel on in a hat. Stop. They all look ridiculous. They're all wearing too tight pants and everything, but they're like bulky dad bods. They're crazy-looking.

But this is Booie I try, I assume. Christine, you looked it up by now? I did look it up, I'm not finding. I got to, like, go into the articles. It's not just coming up in a headline. It's all right. Christine, I'll spell it for you, type it out. This is the question.

W-H-O. Oh, God. W-E-R-E-T-H-E. N. You think she did I by herself? You see that video I said just earlier? There was this white girl on the train, and all these black girls are like,

they're like, get off, bitch, get off of the next stop. They were yelling at her, and then she got off. And just before the door is close, she stuck her head in and she said the N-word. Yeah, yeah. I was talking about it last night. And she just laughed. But this is why black people were so funny.

They went nuts. They went nuts, but they thought it was funny too. They were like, what the fuck? They were like, yeah, they thought it was funny. A couple of them, you can see it. This girl right here. Yeah. They're trying to open the doors, man.

Look at them. There's like six of them just trying to open the door. They were so mad, but then they start laughing. They were like, this bitch. She waves. She waves. Look at it. This one girl right here.

What a fucking crazy. That's so weird. It's wild. That seems like a woman who would get mad about people saying the N-word. Now she, you know, every time she takes the train, she has to fucking shit her pants. You wear a ski mask. That's going to happen anyway. I'd shave my head and lose 20 pounds.

That was Boi-I-Tribed, right? Introducing Kid Rock. So as far as this goes, this turning point, the Kid Rock thing, like when did it air in relation to the bad? So you have to watch? You watched Bad Bunny and then you rewinded and watched this. We watched Bad Bunny and then went back to the beginning of this. A lot of people went right over to Kid Rock. No, they didn't.

Yeah, they did. Not a lot of people. How many views they got? Last night when it was happening, 5 million versus 138 million. I'm not saying compared to, but a lot of people went over there. It was so bad. Boo, yeah, Tribe, right, for sure. And then the guy opened up with some country song that nobody knew.

And then he went into a ballad. It's like, come on. We just watched a Puerto Rican walk through a field of people. We had telephone polls. We saw a whole story. Man crashed through a house for you. Dude, it was fucking incredible. And the song, even though if you don't know the world, you're all kind of just dancing to it.

You can't help but dance to it. Then he gave a Grammy to a little kid. And then he had a football that said, we're all in America or something like that. And then we had to go to a ballad of some guy in a tight jacket singing some stupid song. Who introduced Kid Rock? Oh, you'll find it. I do wish I could have had that dance skill. I could just woo women with my super Latino dance skills.

You don't get the hips, kid. No. You got to do that band workout, work on your hips. I got it. I do work out. I mean, you know, you can't just become that. You need a loo booty for that. You got to have enough weight.

It's like physics. You have enough little booty to flip it back. What you can do is shake your cock around. Yeah, you got a big piece, right? I mean, apparently not bad bunny. Not like Bad Bunny, no for sure. No for sure. Well, they also had, they also had Ricky Martin was in it, which was cool.

Who looks fantastic. I mean, looking great. Man, dude's jizz in your butt must really preserve you. It does. I don't think it's on his butt, though. I think he's getting some of it on his face. In his butt. I think it's in his butt and on his face.

He rubs it on his cheeks. In his face, though. It's like a vampire facial. And what's her name? Lady Gaga did a great. She was great, too. Oh, the gaga. I forgot the gaga was there.

The gaga was there. That was far from her best work, I'd say. She was kind of useless more. She was just there. She was there for the rednecks that didn't want to see a bad bunny. I think she was like, I like, I'll fuck these guys. Fucking Kid Rock, I don't give a shit. Kid Rock's new haircut, by the way, is not.

That's the official out for me. All of his political beliefs are fine with me. As long as he kept that long hair and stayed kind of cool looking. Now he's a mustache and he cut his hair down to like, it's like your mom just realized like, she's never going to be pretty again. Yeah. Your mom just going like, I'm a mom now.

Yeah. Like all moms. You know what I mean? I'm a mom. It doesn't think they're being sexy anymore. All moms. All moms get their hair like they pitch for the Yankees in 1978. That's exactly, yeah.

45, 48. Yeah, like Steve Garvey. Yeah, that goose gosset haircut. You got an early odds, Kurt Schilling. A nice Dennis Eckersley. Yeah, they really do. They just want an easy thing to towel off and go out of the house. Is that kid rock or something?

Steve Bedrock Bredrosion. Four-time Golden Gov winner. Side armor. Yeah. Stevie Bedrock Bedrosian. Go ahead. This is probably the B.I. Trowman who's going to say it is. Well, he found something saying it's not.

Yeah. Exclusively. It's just not. And it's just four men introduced them. This is like me and Kilboxer. My leather jacket. It does. I know.

It's too short. It's like Frankenstein. Like he's got like his shirt and everything. His jacket's too tight and short for his arms. Yeah. The sleeves are too hot. It's not his size. I know how I jumped up.

I said also if somebody drew a face on a thumb. He's not worried about his rosacea. I'm so worried about mine. Why wouldn't let these guys do anything? Who are they? The Boiard Tribe. They're just introducing? That's it?

That's all the Boiard tribe really does these days. I guess it's the Bloods? So Kid Rock went on last? He was just like, I need black people to introduce me. Close it out. How dare you ask that? I don't know. Of course, Kid Rock goes.

on last he's kid motherfucker rock he should have opened it he's bringing west coast pussy for his detroit players his lyrics are nuts too well someone pointed that out that he does ball with the ball and i think he says that the song he says that he says some kind of line like that the underage girls are not statutory they're mandatory yeah he's a piece of shit too that's though those are the lyrics everybody keeps pulling up yeah i'm not sure if that's ball with the ball yeah ball with the ball it's one of of his songs it says it's statutory it's not statutory it's mandatory nice and he dates uh teenagers

yeah i did think he wrote that when he was I fuck teenagers I fuck teen what was that song we were supposed to do for I gotta put that in my rotation oh Clarissa I fuck teenagers I fuck teenagers I hope that little boy comes on my face I hope you clip that we do we got it clean

we need me do it again hope that little boy gets come in my face I have to take there you go let me try it I hope a little boy comes in my face Okay, let me do one more. One more before, I just want to feel cover, which is for safety. I want to feel safety.

I want that little boy to come in my face. Hmm, that was better. Thank you. Can I try a different version? I want that little boy to come right in my face. You're not the songwriter, so I feel like you play with the lyrics a little bit. Sorry.

As the writer, I don't mind if I like that. You took some liberties. Alright, try this one. Little boy come in my face. That's good. Little boy come in my face. Ferguson. little boy come in my face thank you dude for punching that up yeah well he's game yeah we're

hollin-outs we sing with each other what was the band that's gonna come back what's the band tete they're getting mad at that's gonna come back one of us is gonna get a part in a movie and and then it's gonna come right up one of these fans isn't like remember this song what's the line what's this thing in ted oh simon and garfunkel he goes he goes oh yeah it's fine garfunkel's gay he's like what do you mean he goes men don't harmonize with each other He goes, what about Holland Oates? He goes, they go one at a time. You know who's harmonizing?

Gene Simmons' son has like a band where he's harmonizing. Oh, really? This whole thing now. Really? And this other dude harmonized music together. On my cell phone on page, gee, can't call me, just page me, daddy, yeah, young ladies, young ladies. I like him underage.

See some say that statutory, but I say it's mandatory. Yeah, dude. He also wasn't 19. He was 26 when this song came out. Oh, but different. Yeah. Cool daddy cool. Is that what it's called?

Cool, Daddy, cool, yeah. Yeah, that wasn't a good, that's not a good, that's not good lyrics. I don't like those. Go back to this, yeah. Yeah, let's watch him kill it. We were all waiting for him to kill it. We were all waiting for it. Man, the Buyah tribe is I live and believe.

I mean, just that outfit, he comes out of it. We were all pumped up for this. Well, they don't capture him getting shot out of the floor well at all. No. It looks like he was just on stage, but he comes out of the floor. It's just like it happened so fast you missed it But there's no, it's like all these people Are like in like behind a rope or something

It's like nobody's up by the stage There's like three feet around the whole stage And the stage is too big Well, I was a turning point you're saying I was gonna say this company is also not real stoked On people being too close to the stage You know what I mean at this point? They're a little nervous about that

Fair enough Although he got his black female drummer to come play this shit They're pumping in crowd sounds in there too by the way when you watch him perform at the convention they like nobody knows his music that's the funniest when he came at the republican convention is so funny rich people don't listen to kid rock no people who live in jesus and go to church on Sunday don't listen to you were smoking funny things we were in many things oh yeah there's also video bad bunny like making the sign of the cross and looking up to god before his set started he's like an actual Christian yeah wow yeah you don't

see him come out he's just there dude kid rock's new fucking hair. Can I just say something that bugs me the worst thing is him flipping the microphone over? He did it once. It's cool. I know. But do it once or twice. No, it's not that's his thing though. You got to be a fan of old school kid Ruckton. That's kind of his thing. It's kind of cool the way he does to be. But he'll slide it in the fucking front of his pants. How about this? Do me a favor. Take a carpal tunnel wrist guard off. I would agree. Take out the

risk guard of a lady who's trying to get laid at a fucking at a bowling alley bar. That's he's dressed like. He's trying to get laid at a bowling alley bar by a guy. Yeah, he's dressed like most waitresses. It's fucking stupid. The outfit's like sickening. It's like, it's... You don't mean that.

Jorts and a cutoff fur? It's like, we're like full... I hope that risk guard is just attached to the microphone because he's not really flipping it. It's just spinning. Ball with the balls. I wonder about, he's had that same kid rock sign forever. Yeah, he had to take it out of the garage.

For sure. Oh, there, no, he pops up. I know, but it was just very, it's very unlike, uh, it's too lit up. Underwhelming. It's, he's got. He's faking that. Yeah.

It didn't sound it. Already off. It is very Corey Feldman-esque with his dancing. Do you think he got two? Well, here's what I think he's, I wait, pause it? You think got an adrenaline dump and he just got ahead of himself? No, I think what happens, I think what's difficult about it, I think they're playing a live version of it. Like they're piping over a live version of it

So he doesn't know So I don't think he knows exactly his own exact You know What's the point of this? Why didn't he just I don't understand why they don't sing their own fucking songs live anymore I've wrapped this dumb song publicly five times Yeah

There's no reason for him not to do this It doesn't take anything Yeah it's not fast or complicated It's also it's not singing or you have to have a good voice You can just say the words Stink wrinkle With a little bit of like a eh Bobby just did it

Stink wrinkle That's my word for a pussy Oh, that was good Twat. Has that been a minute? My word's twat. It's been an hour. It's been an hour.

Too late. Try again the mark. By the way, I was pretty sure Kid Rock was hammered because it does that. His hat goes sideways and his eyes are just like plus that watch, you know it's fake. Don't you dare.

Yeah, I swear to God, he left one at Shane's house. No, no, no, he does that. It wasn't Shane's house. It was at the three. He did it to Marcus King. It was the first night we ever met Marcus King at that bar. he was telling me, I was like, why does your watch not fit? Because his watch was open completely.

Do you know what I mean? Like where the thing is completely undone and it squeezed onto his arm. I go, I think that watch is too small. He goes, yeah, man, he goes, kid Rock gave it to me, though, man. He says it was really expensive. He goes, Kid Rock gives your watch, man, you wear it no matter fits or not. And then he found that later that Kid Rock just always gives people like an $18 watch. And it's like, it's $350,000 right there.

He gave one to Shane, too, right? He gave it to Shane. Shane goes, I'm not keeping it. And then Shane was like, I'm not taking it. And then so Kid Rock just gave it to another guy in the room. And then left. And then Shane, and they all had an argument because Shane was like, give me the thing back.

We're not taking this. We're giving it back to him. And you're not taking it for sure. You know what I mean? He's like, he's giving it to me. And then it's like, and then they all find out. He goes, oh, it's $18 on Timo or whatever. And he just has a bunch of them to do that.

Come on. Guys, a little bit funny. And first of all, he's short. Stop calling them George. They're not. They're not George. They're pants that they just cut before the show. They're

And they're baggy And he looks ridiculous They're baggy Short short My sister wears those They're culots They're coolocks They're coolocks

They're coolocks They're they are They're denim culots He's wearing a collat He's wearing a scort He's wearing a denim scort His little legs It looks like a dress

It looks like a denim dress He's got all right legs I don't mind his legs Yeah look at the little they are Good shapes though The calves there And the ankles there

Jacob am I right You can say The caps are right Nothing wrong with his cats Yeah but the pants make his legs look tiny. But the calves are fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay sticking up for his calves. He's, well, I'll throw stones here where necessary. Kid Rock, eats, eats nuts on this right here. Go ahead and play it. You missed it. I mean, his mouth, he's doing something completely different from the track. He doesn't. He's not defrying.

How could anyone think this is good? They're just, they're just bad people. All you have to do is keep the mic up to your mouth the whole time. Yep. That's it. His words are moving independently of the song. What's he doing? Do you think he's out of breath or something?

And then his hat comes off and you see his awful haircut now? I thought this, I go, oh, the sounds off. Like the sounds not mixed right. Because he's, I thought his performance was going to be better. Yeah, he's around those old man, new balance. And then the fucking, I forget the goddamn classical breakdown. Then a string. Then a cell.

and violinist for about, I mean, seven minutes. It was terrible. And then he comes out and sings a song with a guitar, nobody wanted to hear. It's crazy. Yeah, with his name. What is this, though? This has to have meaning to, like, something.

Yeah, this is Charlie Kirk's favorite piece or something, but I'm sure. Was it? Oh, boy. This is what Charlie Kirk likes to fuck to. This is Charlie Kirk fuck music. That's how boring he was. How did they get vampire-lostat to do this?

That's all I'm wondering. I know. It looks. They played that one commercial where Andy Sandberg is Neil Dynie. and it looks like Andy Sandberg Neil Diamond. He really is wearing vampire jacket. That girl thinks he's ridiculous. She's like, no, he's a great cello player.

He looks like an asshole, but still. So get past this. This is seven minutes of this. Can you imagine this crowd just like, what are we? What is this? It's so stupid. In the middle of ball with the ball. That's what just came up at.

Now get in the pit and try to love someone. That guy was wearing the Seinfeld shirt. Do you see the ruffles on the end of it? Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Do you have to wear ruffles if you could. play the cello? You have play ruffles if you're wearing that fucking composer's jacket. Now the black guys come back. Booie I tribe.

Definitely the Buii tribe, by the way. 100% booieieieieie tribe. But now he's Robert Ritchie. Now he's Robert Ritchie. Bobby. Me and Bob call him Bobby. This is a cover called Till You Can't. Oh, then Cody Johnson. Oh, then we're fine. Oh, good. Then only Robert Ritchie does covers. I'm not finding what the instrumental was. God.

Herka-do. Flammie. I guess there's got to be a lot of people like this. Country music kid, Rob. It was exciting that out of 125 million people, only 5 million people watch this. Usually about pussy and getting in-dried of those numbers as a country. But now I'm a little bit about Jesus. That's what I said.

My first joke, when I wore my country Western shirt to the jelly roll roast, when I got on state, I told you they didn't, I didn't know it was a rose. And I got, but I knew I was going to wear that shirt. And I got up there and I go, and none of the other comics were wearing country Western. stuff and I went oh sorry I thought we were all doing the country or the wigger failed wigger gone country theme I was like kid rock how are you kid rock jelly roll and then rip yelled at you no no no he got shit you with bert yeah he got shoot with bert fuck him cole houseer whatever I love rip I love america I love rip I love kid rock and you love kid rock I like kid rock now

The 1999 Woodstock performance, I watch it over and over again. You don't like Kid Rock Jacob at all, do you? This is what they end on? Yeah. You go back to the Super Bowl and from this? Yeah. Oh, by the way, this is one of four, I think, full ballads played on this whole thing. Oh, yeah, there was other ones.

They opened up and they went right to a ballads. Yeah, it was it. It's crazy. So they got you pumped up this is going to happen, and then they brought you right into this whole shit. And we were all just in a room quiet. It's not eating stromboli. Yeah. And then the last two.

minutes they just show you a montage to remind you how weirdly fat Charlie Kirk's face was. It was right round. It really is a gigantic target for of them the mist and hit his neck. They had such an opportunity to last night to really bring America back together again.

Poor kill bad bunny and they failed to both. No one shot bad bunny. Did anybody call in? Lou? We didn't really give the number or really make it a thing. I didn't realize they like pieced in little clips of things leading up to it. Yeah, obviously. The apartment a war. Oh, that's the guy that Colin Jost makes fun of on us now, right?

Seth, Hegs Seth. Hegseth. His name's not Seth. It's Hegseth. What was his first name? I think it's... Is it Seth Heg-Seth? I know. It's not, Peter. Peter Heg-Seth. I'm mistaken for Shifty Shovel Shots from Crazy Town. But they change it to... I make the War. They changed it to the War. Department of War. It was Department of... Justice. Defense. Defense. And then they made it war. It's great. It makes me laugh. Yeah, this guy Yeah, another tight jacket That doesn't fit

Yeah, look at his belly You can see his belly Yeah But if you don't think that I Tight jeans If you think I've been going My whole life Wondering why I've never had

A brass knuckle microphone You are right Oh, we immediately said That's Jay's microphone It's just a chain Then everybody says That everybody goes That everybody goes

This guy's pulling off What you're trying to do Jay And I'm like, I'm not wearing Extraordinarily tight shit Oh my fucking still I'm aware fat body Look I am a fan of the sheshikette it's my thing I love a sheshikette but you gotta make it fit you gotta

be able to zip it yeah this guy you gotta be able to zip it's got couldn't zip it dude no look and his fucking his uh his buttons would have made the button holes look like Chinese eyes it would have been stretched out this guy looks like he's about to start sweating hair die he is he's got he's got congestive heart failure this guy I mean his face is like super dyed hair yeah and he's wearing one of the infinity stone holders that guy looks like he had a couple pieces of stromboli

looks like his salt's up too yeah we all look like this guy at the end of the night it's all that salt I put out that fucking good good salt in to you I hope this never happens again what? I hope it happens every single year are you kidding me? I want to see what the

fucking what white middle America wants to watch for the half-time show I hope it gets bigger and bigger and bigger I don't miss Larry Gaga came out of a giant pumpkin Over on the Super Bowl And I hope next year it's Africa I hope they get an African star And it's all

I hope every year it's not American themed It's some of the country's theme Oh yeah They actually got married Yeah it's a real thing right He's like sure you can get married It don't matter It don't matter

I just have to fill 20 minutes I am illegal I have no rights in this country Yeah what if that was a marriage that was a marriage that was making that woman legal that's been a fucking great one dude they should just had a white guy marry some Hispanic lady and be like you take it's like yeah he goes hey she's got her papers and then she just goes and kisses another guy I love lady Gaga of all the things that I don't

like being an extra sugar plant it must be oh people are stoked they were like I made the height requirement to play the sugar I guess I They just want to be a part of it. I bet they found out they were all white people. I hope so. Well, we did think the theme was weirdly slaves in the very beginning. Remember that? Yeah.

It was. It was just to be like a nod to Puerto Rican slavery. Oh, that was a real thing? No. They said slaves in the sugar canes. That's what they say if you read up on it. 100%. They're not slaves.

I don't pay attention to not American history. Servants. Oh, wait. They're really low-paid servants. They're not slaves. Ruben board servants. They're El Slavos. El Slavis?

That's different. They were mad that none of it was in English. But I think he said one line in English at the beginning. He had one line in English. Can we see on the show before you're gone that I'm going to, if anybody's interested, I'm going to do Bobby Show. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. You're filling in for me at the Pussy Cat lounge.

I'm filling in over at the Pussy Cat. It'd be funny if you go down and you just sell it out and they take it away from me and give it to you. I'm not going there. I have to wait for you to get sick. I'm not going there every Tuesday. I'm not going there every Tuesday. Bobby, I promise you I will turn it down aggressively. Listen to me, everybody just show up tomorrow.

So it's a hit. It'll be funny if I go tomorrow and it's just dead. No one's there. Dude, a couple weeks ago, man. What a hot one. How many people before I can just not do it, though? 10, right? Under 10?

Under 10, you can say no. Yeah. But. And then absolve them in the other crowd. But if you guys want to come, I'll do it. I'll do it 45 minutes. I'm going to do Bobby set, though. Marshmellios.

I'm going back to the old school deal. I'm going to put together Bobby's early TV sets. Piss the pants modern. I'm bringing off marshmallows. I'm bringing up Massachusetts. At the end of every joke, as you have to do is go,

scolololol. And they're going to go, someone in the audience, I'm going to go, what's wrong, bud? He goes, I miss Bobby. I go, hey, head up. Marshmellios. And I'm going to do the point.

Thank you. Got him back. Got them back, just like that. Oh, yeah. I know Brad Bunny had a bazillion times bigger budget, but he used every penny of it. You think? Chris Rock had a cut...

Nailed it. Chris Rock had to cut shorts before the shelf. It's a great. Yeah, who's got scissors? Oh, shit. He goes, yeah. He goes, oh, dude, hey, K.R. Hey, K.

He says much hotter than we thought. Dude, those jeans are going to kill. He's like, you have scissors? One of you probably has a buck knife on your hip, no? They had 200 people dressed like fucking sugarcades. These assholes had a chella, a vampire celloist and a weird violinist.

I mean, what the fuck, man. They have money, too. Like, the organization has money. They could have put some cash oil into the show. They don't have Super Bowl money, apparently. They set up a bodega. Well, technically, the battle is between talking about companies.

It goes right to, like, Erica Kirk, essentially, right? and when it was there, versus Jay-Z. I see, yeah, well, I mean, all the owners. And the reason why they- No, but Jay-Z himself cultivates, that is his job. He cultivates the halftime show, yeah. We have to get, we got to get Kid Rock in that position.

And everything will change. Yeah, Kid Rock to succeed, Jay-Z. What if they let Kid Rock next year do the Super Bowl halftime and they do the same exact thing? He goes, no, you don't understand. That is our halftime. show. That's the show we do at half times of things. It'll be the exact same show.

That would be great. I will poorly lip sing. Every year they go back and forth. Hey, little boy, if ICE tried to take you, give him the Grammy. Well, a lot of people are saying that that was the kid that Ice took, but it's not. He's not. Look at, he's holding his hog. He grabs his big, fat, enormous dick. He got a big one. I'd grab it if I

had a big one. That guy looks like me. Where's Ricky Martin? I missed him completely. He's coming up right now. All these Hispanics playing plants must be fun. There is. They must have been having a lot of fun. Usually they're human furniture. Look at him. Oh, there he is.

This guy aged wonderful. Yeah. Gay. The gayes knew how to age. Well, you have to age wonderful. Are you just going to get old Asian dick? Look how good looking he is. I didn't know he actually had a good voice.

Yeah, he sings good. Manudo. Huh? I don't think anyone's allowed to sing for real on the Super Bowl anymore. No, he's singing. They're singing to tape. No way. I'm sure it's mixed in.

No. You can see the veins in his neck popping out. He's not. Yeah. Yeah. And it's easier to sing Spanish.