The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Crazy Bear (feat. Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Shane Gillis gets a special wrist watch from Kid Rock!

I'm Dan. And I'm Jay. And this isn't just a podcast, everybody. We're actually a radio show over on SiriusXM. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the SXM app. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. Too special to tell you here, but it may involve sex. For our stand-up tour dates, go to dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com and now the bonfire with bigJ okerson dancoder oh it's Dan's last week we'll look at that memory lane yeah stopping it everywhere and the guy that requested the song didn't even show up what a fuck Shane said he goes can we open with calm like a bomb

yeah it used to get me hyped when it would start off the show and we said, dude, yes, of course. We're all going to be in the room looking at each other, malvin the words. He's not here. Picking different instruments in the band. He's not here. He's garing you.

Yeah, well, I was garing you. Listen, I deserve it. It's a whole mixed bag of Gary in this room. It's a flopp of Gary. You're Gary and him. I'm Gary and other people. Everyone's garing on each other or you're getting real Gary Oh man my cuttaisling my two shits today still had margarita villain

I can't really shit at home. Oh, yeah, because a water main broken hobo can and we don't have water That's crazy. Yeah, so we've been just trying to keep it number one in the house That's nuts until I mean we have like We don't have any water that's the thing the crazy problem to have yeah, not having water They've done that when we were in these village that would happen to our building once in a while Look up the explosion from yesterday afternoon. It looks like a movie. It's like shooting up in the middle of the street the water Main explosion. Yeah, I was like a private contractor Fucking blew it open and I was like doing that building exploded on seven streets. Oh, yeah It was just guys. They were like how much I'm gonna run this gas line from this other place in the here real quick

But first let me smoke Let me juggle this dynamite You guys but first goes you want to you guys want to get my new zip-o? Yeah, he goes, but first he goes, you want to, you want to get my new Zippo? Yeah. Let me practice my lighter tricks. He's just practicing. I got the Zippo impression, it'll come it up.

Yeah. I told you that story about when Amir was trying to get me to sell water purifiers. And then he plugged into their gas, not their water. He came back and his fire fires and pops around the yoga studio. And and they're like you punctured the gas man and he's like yeah, so you pissed You just put your waters pure. Yeah, not for nothing. You want his man pure. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. It's made relaxing Put your right to sleep your clock sack. Yeah, how do you do to you then? How do I do to you? Put your right to sleep you clock sack. Yeah, how do you do to you then? How do I duty? I do

I got away with a flush this morning and whereas it went that's usually what I do One for what are you doing tomorrow? I'm whole I'm hopefully gonna take a shit They won't let you use a bathroom at a McDonald's or anything say or where you're probably gonna shit Well, there's a lot of places in Hobo, but I'm gonna water. No, I'm saying. Yeah, it's like you can go there They're not gonna let you go shit there. There's portopodies outside Really? Yeah, they put portopodies on the street Look, there's a portopody mess. I like the jugs of water in front of like the apartment complexes, you know If you need water for like cooking or whatever. We have third world problem. You're living in I find it fun

It's how many. How many days? How many days? They said maybe tomorrow morning it'll be back. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy better. There's dirty birds. No chance it'll be tonight.

Murdles getting bottled water a little bit. She loves it. She goes, oh, Dessani. Can I give you some sort of water. I need something with some zip. I don't think soda's supposed to fizz when you open it. What is that? When I leave here today, I'm gonna fuck Myrtle in the mouth.

This is Dan Soder and I'm not kidding. Wow, I hate that. When did you say that? I hate that. Don't. I hate that. I know what you're doing. You guys brought the robots against me.

Yeah. How dare you? You guys have brought AI voice? Now this is, how dare you you guys have brought a I voice Now this is all loot lose been holding back for years of the things you say during commercial No, what time is the grammar school let out? I'm trying to come dude. I am trying to come that's a you know what? That's a real one. So that doesn't hurt me robot. No, no, they're all real remember a couple months ago You pulled this one out of your ass fuck the bonfire fuck the Niners. I need some booze. I mean this guy is No, the guy you think he is no no yes

No, no, but oh I can see what you're doing there. Oh, do we have oh man? I'm gonna have to fight back with my own AI technology I'm gonna do a whole bonfire just me and AI people at home You want to shut Shane down today and tell him that he doesn't like now that he's big, doing theater tours doesn't respect this anymore. So that's why he's late. I think that emotionally crumbled. So I think the way to go, I see what you're doing.

I see the play, but I think the play is just pure disappointment. Yeah. Just I think if you like, I wouldn't bully you in the situation. Right now and I'm, he wouldn't, he wouldn't. I'm saying what we do is we just go like We were looking forward to listening great chance machine with you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah remember we were raised by women Jay That's right. Who's that power use a passive aggressive gil That's what I'm talking about. He's his strength is too great damn. Do we really was raised by a towering father?

We thought we were gonna have it We are when Shane gets here. We are gonna break into because we have have a few more of these voices, we have to divvy up. We didn't finish Dan Sotas' last second. Tomorrow's not gonna be a voice academy, it's gonna be just a series of emotional goodbyes over and over again. Do me and Dan eventually kiss, do we kiss goodbye? Oh, will they want that?

I always knew that this was what this was. I knew this was a will they want that. I don't know why, and it will be a fleeting second of a thing. Yeah. But when I see you at a comedy club, just one night, yeah, after I had maybe haven't seen you in a couple weeks, because you know, we're on the road and everything.

Sure. We're on the co-weeks and I see you at a comedy club. It really, I figured I'd have that motor like, Hey, hey, hey, how you, um, how you been? Still playing, still write those crazy songs Yeah, I tell you the time Vecchio and I got me I take that game over Yeah, oh in the first after the move no, no, but it was before as while we were moving I was already out

I haven't gone, but like I was cleaning my stuff out and I was like, hey, it's cool with you Like that breath. I'm gonna miss these times, but yeah, it's funny because I'm like, I'm like already doing the thing where I'm like, by Dunkin' Donuts. I can only Dunkin' Donuts on 50th Street any time. But I'm just like, I'll see you later, Dunkin' Donuts. Time Square, huh? By the way, I'm just like I'll see you later talking to you. Yeah, time square By the way, I'm such a big time square. I guess Took it for granted all these years. I hate walking through you. I just didn't know you're leading me to a better life

Because every day I'd walk by and have a person all for me tickets to a show that I'm apparently on that I'm unaware of That's not my calendar Yeah I'm unaware of that's not my calendar Yeah Believe he footloose is out of here We're gonna have to add water thing blows dude. It sucks It sucks. Yeah me and I forgot no to fill like last night while we still had a little bit of water I forgot to fill the filter Oh, we lost gas for six months once We had no gas for like six months and then

And Christi never cooked again. Shut her down. Shut her down for the rest of the life. We had to order out for six months straight and she was like yeah this is better. Yeah. Would you guys have hot showers? Yeah. Okay. Yeah the hot water was fine. Okay. It was uh just yeah and the game is great. They gave us a hot plate. Did they? Yeah. Like a plug and hot plate. Damn like you guys were hobos.

You guys are trained people. You're like, you can cook on this. Here, you're riding the rails. You're hot plate. Worn your can of beans on this. It was pretty pathetic. Yeah, hopefully you'll get it back. Have you had to use one of the porta-potties yet?

No, but I, if by tomorrow morning, you'd probably piss when you get home there Yeah, I'll probably piss there. Yeah, I don't know or piss and So funny if you have to take a duke old if I have to take a duke with no water gonna be a big problem Gonna be a very big problem Right over there the head Welcome in buddy. Oh, we're alive really we were so bummed out. Yeah Yes, we're bummed out you missed the angel we were bummed out the we did

Coma bomb Yeah, we're like we're like Although you just walked in you just walked into candles that are stumps and cold chicken. And we're like, we had it. We had it ready for you. Hey, even now, while you've been out there playing basketball, they have been here studying for jeopardy. Yeah. Mayor, stand in the corner. Come here, what up, dude? Come over here and hang out. Great. At least put on headphones.

Was Lamar? No, Lamar wasn't the one that Kid Rock did the watch thing too? Yeah, he was in there for, you were in there for, but it wasn't who he tried to, who he gave it to. No, he gave it to Nate, Nate Marshall. And then he gave, well, he tried to give it to Billy, then he gave it to Nate Marshall. And then I was like, dude, give me that fuck.

What, what? I was like, we're not keeping, I didn't tell you. Yeah. Oh, this is hilarious. I don't want to ruin his trick, but it's one of the funnier tricks. He was, he was, Kid Rock was at our show in Nashville and he was all like, he was fucked up.

We were having a good time. Yeah. End of the night, he takes off his, it looks like an insane diamond watch. Hands it to Billy, he's like, I want you guys to have this. I want you to have this. It's worth $300,000.

I want you to have this watch. And Billy is like, no, I can't take it. So he takes, he's like, I'll give it to Nate. Nate's like, I'll fucking take it. Nate Marshall is holding this watch. And I was like, Nate, Kidrock left. I was like, Nate, give me that fucking watch. We can't keep, he's blacked out.

We can't take a $300,000 watch from him. So I go to give it to Kidrock. Well, he's leaving. And he's like, keep that brother. You gotta hang on to that watch. Keep it. So then I go back in. We're all just arguing over who's it to Kid Rock. Well, he's leaving. He's like, keep that brother. You got to hang on to that watch. Keep it. So then I go back and we're all just arguing over who's it is. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, ideally, yeah, it's like, and then rubbing your hands over the watch.

Sell it. Yeah. Maybe what do we do? Maybe we can each, he sell each diamond. If you start changing, it'd be great if you were just wearing jeans, t-shirts, and a fair, a fast-drawn watch. Yeah. You just got to pat a go-no on. I mean, it's a absurd looking watch. And then in the middle of the fight, my girlfriend just Googled it. It was like, it's $20. It's a plastic watch.

And she was like, people were like, it is light. We all gold is light. We all are so fucking excited. We know what you're like. I'll tell you what's really funny about that. I think I've seen, I didn't realize that Kid Rock has an R.A. Shafir like, like Joe Kronade level, like Lee and let it unfold. Yeah.

Because now I remember that when we were there for the Kid Rock show, what's your, and we met Marcus King, who's now become a buddy. Marcus King, Christina, remember that night? He had a, yeah, Marcus Chubby dude. Yeah. And he had a watch on that was unclassed and still like tied on his wrist. And he was like, Kid Rock gave us to me, man.

He goes, but you know, he goes, kid, he goes, doesn't fit, but Kid Rock gives you a watch, man. You wear that shit. There was a watch. And it was definitely, yeah, for sure. It was. What a fucking awesome joke. And also to do it, obviously, to not see the result is hilarious.

Yeah. But then to buy it, he wore it all night. Where's it so that at the end of the night, he can just be like, that's great. Take this and he's blacked out. He's a blacked out. He's got Olig, Sasha Baron Cohen level, committed to carry. Unbelievable. He goes, kid rock is a care.

He's like, what's everything? Before I get out of here, I'm gonna tease the watch bit. Hey guys. He was fighting his wife, or girlfriend, whoever the lady was, they were in a fight. And during the fight he stopped me,

I want you guys to have this one. And then we'll back the fight in spite of it. He still got it off. It's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. That's so funny that he just has to refill his fake walk watch Ben. Where is it? Can I get more fake watches? Can you order more of those? Yeah, keep fucking with these guys Yeah, just keep going out. Yeah, I made the more mistake of just hoping instead of just hoping Kid Rock came to my shows

In Nashville, I said the Lucy go yo have Kid Rock come out and she goes I spoke to his manager and sent me a screenshot of saying like it's tentatively in his calendar and then he didn't show up so now I know he thought about it. Yeah, he got to. He was like he did not. Yeah, that's bad. Better just a open weight. Yeah, so leaving you on red where he's like fuck you. I had some goodies though guitar player fromplay from Mass now is pretty righteous.

That's pretty sick. Yeah, that was a good one. Marcus King, obviously. Yeah. Um, and Casey Musgraves, which if I was a country person, that would have been a big fucking deal. Look at Black Loose sat back. He gets so excited. You like Casey Musgraves? Absolutely. Really. And she likes Black men. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Does she really? She does. Her boyfriend her boyfriend wasn't makes you feel any better The rebound was though really absolutely. That's a word straight down Black rebound Dan's gonna get a new shot Dan's gonna do a podcast with Charlotte made the guy

James gonna be like what the fuck I'm, son, you haven't even seen this yet. He was into that this whole town. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, little two fallen dan sotter, all added again. Yo, it's the add it again podcast. Yo, do that fucking we need to poop voice real quick. We're gonna break them off with that. Oh, you're trippin'.

You're straight trippin'. It's pretty good. Oh, well, I with that. Oh, you're tripping. You're straight tripping it. It's pretty good. Well, I'll tell you what, speaking of, Shane, you came on a really good day for the bonfire. So, baby, because I'm leaving, we last week, I had to give you up Dan's voices to the best of who can handle them. Jacob has run away from this for the last time.

But he will be back to, he has to attend voice academy or he'll lose his job. What people trying to do these voices. We go around the side. You fuckers. But you're good at. But I don't think I can do any of these. Yeah. We're going to put yours on.

Shane, this is not my years to lose. We do them, of course, in solidarity. I found out through this that I am not good at Sean Schwartznecker. I can't even get it up. I can do the obvious like get to the chop but tell me the situation. I know but if you're like, no, of course you have to answer the door and there it is. That's so good. It's so much better on the second run around. The first one, dude, I crumpled.

So what we do is we're having to do the door. Yeah, we're doing. So we have people going around in a circle We have people in a circle asking questions and the voices. You have to like pass it all yeah, you pay we do a little Uh, and I ask me I have to impress Jacob Well, we're at the end of the only those they're masterful though. Yeah, you're not you got a good Nate. You can do Nate Now I'm not your Nate's your Nate is my Nate. You do a pretty good Nate. Yeah, you do a good Nate dance, but No, dude, you're the best dude. We're gonna miss you so fucking much You're

Everyone's so I'm just I saw you post that Which would have been my closing song if I were a picture of always really said that yeah something soft and slow Coming through a fucking But you can't stay just everyone knows dance soda on the mound nine bitches three up three down He'll take a little bit about got him got 102 mile an hour two seam fastball got him climb the ladder on him got him Is chasing those not curves drop that's gonna be it out

Here he comes up Hey Jacob Jacob Jacob. You're not getting out of voice academy. Yeah, and we've added We have a guest we have a guest lecturer one Shane Gillis to run us through a couple of his voices. Oh, that should definitely be yes I got it Trump and Diaz that's it. Yeah, my dad and Gillis What Jacob does he have of the park home run film? We're putting Phil Gillis on the list. Yeah, Phil Gillis might be in there.

We were just laughing, so we did a me and Matt just did our podcast and we were just doing guys at the Elks because we were talking about how grabbing guys' decks is funny. Yeah. And how black guys don't like it. You can't, like that's a white, it's a young white man game. So I just say, if you go into the Alcsistope Pull and fucking oh People are gonna get upset. Yeah, look like we look all your old gay terms like nanny and stuff like that

She comes in here like a fucking query. Yeah, you got your son grab me. He sons out there fruiting around grab it Everyone's piece. I feel what's the deal with shame coming in here? Grabbing my dog. Hey, what the fuck? What are you doing? Get out the fuck you doing, Harkin me shame because your son was coming in here rubbing up on my door. Jacob, great news for you. Hawk slapping though is funny for all young white boys until about 15, 16 and then it becomes very serious. Yeah, then he starts getting vinyls hard nuttap. I like a little fucking little tickle. Let him know you there go

Woo I grab from the bottom and I give two pulls towards me. Whoa. Yeah, but then that's it But then the hell your son came in started fucking yeah, I don't even want to Because he came in here half jacking everyone Jason's been fondling some of his What we should throw a Sebastian on here. Yeah, and a Chicago a general Chicago accent. Well, that is Sebastian sort of don't What fucking awful game? I know yeah, it is kind of embarrassing cuz I was doing it. Yeah, but it's DJ low No, yeah, it is kind of embarrassing. Okay, so you're doing it.

DJ Lou. Did you look at the feedback on this? Did you look at the feedback on voice academy part one? I know. You see the numbers? Do you see how this thing's trending? You're true to roof. You know what I mean?

This thing is a goddamn hit. Straight to the run. Dude, how much? Man, Shane did a skanks last night. Yeah. What a disaster. I'm so hungry. Oh, dude, Louis though, telling the story of getting his car

and pounded it was so goddamn fun. Yeah, you ran me through it downstairs. And we really glazed over, he goes, we just sitting there, almost getting arrested in front of your whole family and a dog. A new dog? You just described an airport for fucking an hour. And then at the very end was like, yeah,

and then my family and a puppy had to stay on the sidewalk because they took my car as I was walking out they had one of those things you know you can put the quarter in and it rides around around and around and around that's the story that James tells when he's looking over the city in his quarter office and he turns around and fires a guy and he goes sometimes life isn't polite you're you're not a fucking really traumatic experience for that kid James is sitting there It's your dad talking shit to a cop on your way to my mom I saw both my parents fight. I've never seen him get a rat. They my dad left. There was cops there But no shit arrested damn damn your Gary was fucking way cooler than mine my dad left like Batman

You're like yeah Is that what you said? My dad's like Batman. Yeah, I go. He just disappears. Instead he goes, it was asleep. I left. Yeah.

My dad was asked to leave and he went, Oh, okay. Yeah. And he just left for a long time. Yeah. He's like, Oh, I'm actually going to go to Florida. Well, you said leave. You didn't say, take care of the kid.

I fucking left. You said get out. I got out. You didn't tell me care of the kid I fucking laugh you said get out I got out you didn't tell me where to go Well, so Jacob I got a little bob Kelly on for it. Yeah, Bobby Kelly. We don't need to do it right now Oh, no, no, no, we do because this and Lou doesn't want to make fun of a second dad So you should take Sebastian off. No, Sebastian's no, no round he's doing this new second bad Yeah, how dare you We're not making you do a peak or yearly, but you're gonna try to do a Sebastian. I can do a Sebastian Nails a Sebastian I bet he can I bet he really actually can Christine was a surprising hit in really academy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you good at people answering?

Shane, I'm gonna tell you like this. This is just, this is kickoff team. They're just throwing their bodies into it. Yeah, you wanna see Christine be as adorable as you've ever seen her? Feed her a danger field and let her do it. This make people so happy online. Well, I heard you a danger field.

Do you remember how to do danger field? No, you gotta give it to her. Hey, Christine, come on on throw me a good danger field What's going on? It's actually very adorable Talent list but so cute unbelievable. I mean, and what more can you ask from a girl like a pop? The talent list and super cute. It's like a poppy yawning. Yeah, it's pretty good. That's what I came in with today That's like a poppy yawning. Yeah, it's pretty good.

That's what I came in with today. A poppy yawning? Just like guys toss up my Instagram Reels. We need to see this together. Dogs dancing the funny Asian music. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I also love the dude that pops and loves. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. So fucking good. There's like a cello who pops and locks. He's like, he's from Tucson and he's like, Jesus is king. Jesus Christ I was doing religious break dance If you smell something is Dan he hasn't showered in two weeks. He has no water and hobo. Oh, Jesus Christ. Two sawners, oh Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. If you smell something, it's Dan.

He hasn't showered in two weeks. He hasn't no water and no bokeh. Ew. Okay, yesterday. Yesterday. I showered yesterday. God. I showered yesterday.

He whacked his ass with lettuce. No, I didn't. I used to wipe in a flush, thank God, because he still had water in the tank. Blood. That would be the worst thing. If I had to rely, if I had one more flush, and I took a shit. I'm like well. I'm also gonna send this thing clogged They put put portopodies in the streets. Oh my god. It's like pay route

The new Jersey way If I could I know the paper come in a crap on the corner. Hey, it's me Frank Sinatra quick voice school Do what's your? Come on baby come on Jacob give me some Zick Jacob. What do you want to do? No you got a Vegas baby? Come on see how fun this is I can do the voice. I don't I need a dialogue when I suck that guy's dick baby Do the voice I don't need a dialogue. I'm gonna suck that guy's dick baby Whoa, what's got a nice dick?

That guy's penis is the tops your son your son came in to the elks Yeah, you don't all right right now take a best answer your question come on baby you got to share the goods tell me we're doing this here it is why you're black baby how did you get in here oh I thought you was Sammy from behind oh where's this security in this place? Whoa! Hey! What the fuck in music? Wow! Jesus Christ, dude. What's wrong with you?

Pull the punch a little easier, friend. My God! I was told to do that. No good. So Shane, you'll see the allure in this game is everyone going up to the diving board and not jumping. Yeah, it's coming back and then running and jumping. DJ Lou, Bob, he's my favorite.

He'll bomb off that thing. He's belly flopped and his kept coming back. I'm not an entertainer. You're yes, you are. You're an entertainer and so much more, but now you're also going to be a voice guy. I could be a voice instrumentalist. He didn't do the what he got one of them.

Yeah, they're not. One of them he won. I had notes. Just threw them away. Wow, good professoring. But, well, you know, I'm going off on sabbatical. Yeah. I'm gonna find myself.

I'm going to Thailand. You're touched. I'll be in Beijing if anyone needs me. Beirut. I know who's down there. Who? Thailand? Yeah, who's there? You know who's down there. Soft. The lady boy's.. Bay root. I know who's down there. Who? Thailand? Yeah. Who's there? You know, who's down there?

Soft. The lady boys. Supple. The girls. A sexy. Sexy dancers. Yeah, you're gonna kiss. You're gonna kiss a boy. You're gonna kiss a boy lady, probably. Whatever. You don't know what love is. It's legal there. Yeah, it is. Anything goes. A cousin who went on a Thailand tour. He was like boasting about it.

It's not easy. He came back here. He insisted he did on the road. He went on the road, but not boys. He insisted he did underage. Wait, he didn't want it to. He was underage here, underage here. Not underage there.

No, I believe he was saying, you just tap fun, and you're like, you're like, you're kidding? He said he insisted he had sex with other age children. Right? No, no, no. Wait, you just tap fun You don't walk that back You don't walk that one back? He said he insisted he had sex with other eight children No, no, no, no I said, but I don't know exactly what you mean Yeah, but I'm just saying

He just specified, I just got the impression He never did, he never bows I told you about this You went, at what reading level are they? Anyway, what the fuck those guys are saying? Honestly, I go in a scooper bunch up. We didn't talk to him after that. No one talked to him.

After we talked about his sexcation. Me, my brother, my wife. Was it old school? Did he show you guys? Did he show you guys like slides? You still wonders what it's about? Why don't you talk to me? He's like, he came back from the high school. Let me walk it backwards.

I went to that dinner, told the about fucking the underage kids in Thailand I was in Thailand before Thailand told him I was going to Thailand Everything was fine up into that point. I hit on us before that was Thanksgiving and that was fun Hedon is funeral I can politics just drove my family apart. I think Facebook broke us up I can't do politics just drove my family apart. I think Facebook broke us up Super religious afterward. He got super honest. Pious. Damn, so he did some dirt. Oh, wow for sure. Or maybe that's the way you get religious by fucking underage people You think you killed or priest do you think you went a little too hard in the pain?

Yeah, you know, I mean maybe gods in there. I've been looking for him Deep inside of a kids. Yes. I haven't found him. Maybe I can tug him, maybe it's in the scene in his kid's ball bag. Look, I said he never coaxed it out. Yeah, he never specifically said, yeah, we got this underage girl and this underage girl, but he was just talking like about how easy it was to get anything you wanted there. Did he keep specifying anything? Anything you get a burger at three in the morning you could fuck a kid all day long

There's no clock on that you want a walkman Original V a set a chess copy of total recall The words are always throughout there to see to see Ford Ranger was in the middle Did you say I could have an underage child whenever I want yeah, yeah that So he just did he came he came home and just told you guys Did he get me time? I mean he definitely had I mean he said he had Yeah, guys thebub was right. Five star reviews sit

around. Let's get into detail. Number one, you know, you're going to, it's honestly, it's like a constant supply of veal, but for fucking where they want to go, so he goes, Oh my God, he goes, everything they say about Tyler is true, gather around. He goes, what Steve's in the bathroom? Now wait, there's a guy's in there awkwardly. I'm like, he's gonna wanna hear this. What are you guys doing out,

what are you gonna tell? What are you guys doing out, you're just gonna say, sex, how it tells, and the kids are there in the lobby, like a snack. You know you can go down, they have the marketplace where you can get like a small thing of scope and maybe some Mickey chips

Look like fucking Saturn Crouching these kids I think I'm going back to Thailand to play a more ring around the Rosie Probably late July again. You all appreciate this Dan. What's getting me there? My head was him saying Saturn and I was thinking about Perry Saturn Yeah, and the rings of Saturn used do. Did you see the video yet? That's a great one of the, the guy, the coach apparently told his wrestler, if he won the national championship

or the state championship that he could suplex him. And after the things over, he like wins, they raise, and he goes over grabs his coach and he, he powers in the coaches, hops up and they bump chance. It's the most masculine, weird thing to say. I've ever seen it. Yeah. Then he would let him suplex him. Have you seen it? No, I haven't seen it. He power some the coaches hops up and they bump chance Then he would let him soup like see no, I haven't seen you a lot of No, no, just like when he said sadder and I was like I was thinking of a perry Saturn Yeah, I was like oh that reminded me of this kid because he can see this kid

This is so I don't need to be reminded that we don't have water No, but if you want to you have part of that We lost water my dad would go and shit and shower at the planet fitness. We did that at a crunch. I think, don't quote me on this. You did that at crunch. If you grab one of those jugs of water, then you take, right? It's a giant barrel thing.

It's massive. You got to bring it over. But if you go down and get like a pot of that, I think if you take a shant drinking water, right? I think I think if you take it you can load the tank and get one to go down. I'll go I'll go forage with Merdle later and take some water back with yeah, I'll bring a I'll bring my hatchet in Merdle. Yeah, that's a little A little white I'll get back get back for me. I need to poop fill the tank and yeah

Yeah, watch your watch your turds got you got to hope that thing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're not gonna have water whatever I got madden. I've been on man. I'm back on man. You want to get it going pretty fun You want to see me with these dolphins brother? You don't want that yeah, I do I don't you guys understand football way better I was just thinking though. I want to get good at NBA 2k I've always sucked at it and the nuggets has one of the best one of the best teams in the game is the nuggets So I'd like to get good with them get good with them. I think this is a fun time The six are still the best video game team They're really nice. Simmons are the best video game team. Yeah, they're really fun Yeah, they're because they don't give video game players the hips. They're pretty great But they're pretty great, but they really don't give Max he has respect yet

So and I have him running the second unit. That's pretty safe true to forms Ben Simmons They says gonna sit the rest of the year and they're gonna try to get rid of them aware Australia I think he's done in the NBA. Well, yes. I start to do a little bad for him, but... I feel bad for him. They keep playing that LSU recruiting thing where it says like he's gutless basically.

They go, he's super talented, but he just got no heart and doesn't want to like be responsible on a game and a big game. And that was his college report. What a fucked up thing to have on you. Yeah, he didn't try that gutless guy What the fat dude sit around you fucking gutless loser

Yeah, buddy when I was it was funny when I went to the Tom Tom was ripped from gas digital and went to the the net sixers and silly Kind of last minute and Tom was a drunk remember sitting next to him and he goes fuck you, man All right Tom. Yeah you don't do that. Yeah, like that guy would annihilate us. Yeah, streets. I went to, I'll catch your shrapnel. I mean, no comment went to flyer, flyers, penguins.

And before the game, you can go down and just look at the, like we were like on the glass, just watching the penguins warm up. And this flyers fan came down and started pounding on the glass next to us. And was like like you fucking Stopped and looked at us because we're both looking at him like what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, he goes I wish I could get in there and just beat this shit out of those guys Dude if you go in there It's a shark tank. You're gonna get ripped apart

They're gonna get ripped apart. That's right. It's been a long time. They've been in these guys. You know what? He's gonna malk and he's like, I have beat they'll fuck out of mouth. You know what my favorite? He'll kill you.

It's my favorite videos are guys getting in the ring of wrestlers. The one, there's one where a guy attacks Stone Cold Steve Austin and he's wrestling Triple H. And then Triple H kicks the shit out of the guy. It's like bat. And just like, fine. But you see, there's another guy that rushes a scott haul

and they fuck them up. like during the NWO Do these guys really get in there until they're face to face and then they're like oh? No, yeah, I do fell in the penalty box Ty dummy was in the penalty box. He's a monster dude. I think it was a filly's flyer's fan He's on the he's over the glass like fuck He falls in he just gets fucking whale please find that That's got me there is so the ones like fan falls in pedal. I actually hate to when it's I don't have when it's Philly. I don't have like a yeah, dude Philly. I'm like, guys,

come with the one was a couple years ago was when they just started pouring soda and popcorn on Westbrook. Yeah, and as serious you're like, it's like you're the jerk offs for sure. Yeah. Fans stumbles into sticky situation. I don't know. Yeah, play it. Just that guy just like I'd like to get in there and beat the hell out of this guy. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Fucking brown.

Yeah, that's brown. Brown. Dominic lays out Luke Richardson. That'll hurt a lot for a long time. Third period game time at one Richardson. What's a vicious hit on Darcy Tucker Tucker goes down hard Job, love, job, love, so much Let it play

It's just white They don't have just whites. We're allowed to fight They don't have a fight on all the vehicles They're throwing stuff at him so he gives a squirt over the glass Tucker being helped off Another squirt here comes a fan from Oh, no, he's in the tank. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I hurt myself. Time, time, do that ref. You know what it reminds me of is do you remember the old 80s video with the

bear attacks the lady in the dress. With a reference. It was like a shirady gieery. He's like, one of the finds fit. It's it because I forget who was like reaction video. No, it was even it was like a, it was like a deaf jam episode of comic. When that video first came out, maybe a comic, some black comic, whether joke about when the guy was talking about the bear. And then you could see before he goes, I remember the because he goes the bear looks the lady like this bitch but he

looks at her first and then he goes I don't like her I'm a flabberg I was so great you really let's first you go over you go stupid bitches deal Maralas Castillo but that's why that refer me to that guy in the karate key. Cause he was like, oh, I love this. I love this. I love this.

This is a great idea. He's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, Yeah, I fight bear style so they get it here we go. Here's the rest of the rest of the slamming his coach That's far on some What a hug God that's the ultimate hug. We're just a weird things again. Give it to me dude

But also takes it dude just takes it lands flat on his back We got a he's her alligator attack. What are the odds? Hey, bye. He's hurting for sure. Oh my god. What coach is hurting? Oh, yeah He looked like he took the fall well of course. He didn't have a bunch of people. He's got to do the thing. He didn't love it Do you think it knocked a little wind out of him? He's gonna hate that kid a little bit. Yeah We're gonna hang in there. Rest of his life, he's gonna hate that kid a little bit. Yeah, he's like,

I'm gonna do that kid. I'm gonna do that kid, he was kind of an Eric. We die like him. If he dies in an accident, it's gonna be a thing he says to in the side. Like just as a side, he gets a little cocky. He's a little Eric. He was treating him like a son.

It's like that whole Cogan tape, where he goes, he did something brother. Should we get back to voice? Should we take a commercial break? Take a commercial break. I mean, consider that's gonna take us through. Yeah. I know it's going to.

Yeah, we'll take a break. Oh wait, what was the other thing we wanted to, there was one more thing she was gonna show, oh, the bear, the bear, the we should go out with the bear attack. But let's watch the bear attack one more time. I'd like to see a bear attack, a lady. It's one of the greatest videos of all time. Mine as well.

I mean, we're here. Yeah, if we're here. God, I mean, as long as we're here. And she looks, just like a regular, she looks like somebody's mom. What's crazy about is that I feel like picking her kid up from they did. She didn't put enough complaining about like, hey, should I sit next to the bear? The guy probably shouldn't sit next to the bear, right? It is a very small couch. Should I snuggle up? And she seems very confident with it. Like, she's fine until it goes

bad. Yeah, search lady let it attack by bear. That was a fun video I wanna show. Shane, you've seen the guy trying to get the magic trick on a morning show in like Poland, and it's the magic trick where you like smash the bags there. Oh, yes. With the nails inside, and he digs, grabs his hand and goes, Whoa!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's one of the best. Crazy bear! Crazy bear, smiley face. Crazy bear

Crazy bear smile chase crazy bear Oh smiley bears fucking crazy Crazy drain play crazy Crazy drain Damn it Damn it Damn it This is fucking old school moves Yeah, start from the beginning just hit play both both he is

Yeah, yes Crazy bear actually jumping in a little bit cuz that's a big fucking bear dude Polox yeah, I can bear it in. I think it's Polish, the magic trick one too. I think it's what it is. It's funny to call Polish magic a big fail. He looks at her first. He's like, you're deal.

Go back. Just go back. It's so fast. It's so, she sits down like, hey, how you doing? Well, this is exciting I never thought there'd be a bear here in Warsaw. I guess We're trying to go like hey, hey, hey bear no matter what the setting So funny bitch

It's my chair What do they what do they do when they did it? She still smile what about when he when when when they pull her out of the pile they open her shirt and she had like a bomb attached Like he did something good. He saved the world. Oh my god that bear is a fucking He's got to release a virus into the atmosphere. Yeah That's what a weird play the guy's in a gai with a bear they go out in the hall There's a bunch of dudes and tuxedos like what happened in there Don't even tell me to go haywire with the guy in the gai in the bear Watch tell me what went left with the the the guy in the bear the way I said something happened

Look who tried to check out the bear You know he's got new shoes like rusty rusty rusty That's a tuxedo guy I just want to let you know this is a $500 plate dinner and you are ruining it You and your fucking bear sprinkles stop Mr. Chuckles you get off of him Son of a bitch would win all but He goes all right, so apparently yo-yo the bear does not like perfume. Yeah, she got too close Proud Barry. Proud Barry. Are you wearing?

Are you wearing what was it Elizabeth Taylor? He will fucking flip on it. Are you wearing diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor? Because that is the one thing. That's what the lady wore who beat this bear when he was a cub I'm trying to be right about her. Let's take our first break. We're hanging out with Shane Ghost in studio. It is the box on Dance last week last week can studio. It is the Bawntfire. Dance Live Speak. We have Speak Dan. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. That was just a portion, a tiny sliver, a morsel of the entire show. You want the whole thing? Go to seriasexM.com slashbondfire for a special offer that is tremendous. It's so good.

It's going to make your family upset with you. We're going to lose money over here. And you can go to bigjcomedy.com and dancoder.com for our standup dates.