The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Creep (feat. Brendan Sagalow)

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

With Big Jay out, Brendan Sagalow and Robert Kelly learn about Shauna Rae.

I'm Dan. And I'm Jay. And actually, we're a radio show that exists on Sirius XM. That's right. For full episodes of the Bond Fire, go to SiriusXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. For our stand-up tour dates, go to dancoder.com and BigJ Comedy.com. And now, the Bond Fire with BigJ Okerson and Dan Soder.

Understand, under the Miami moon, you can make billions. Welcome to billions, Miami. How do you not like him, old dude I never did but now I do you can fix Now you can get it Bobby will help you out welcome back to the bonfire serious XM Faxon talk 103. I'm dance Soder Big J.O.G.R. Zen in Los Angeles with the skunks. They got a lot of cool stuff going on over out there Bobby Kelly sitting in our guest Is from the here is the scenario podcast you can catch them alive February 17th and grand rapids. It's printed sagaloo Mr. Worldwide

What's up, brother? You do in Bobby in those black look like stage hands. You guys look like you're gonna change the scenery We're not fucking Broadway stage hands over here. I'll be addressed at all black Broadway stage hands up here. I like how you addressed it all black, bro. I always dress like this. Dude, what are you trying? What happened to you? What do you guys think of as a theater troupe? I can't keep using the same example,

because I'm a fucking idiot. Let's do hands in red. Dude, I love this music. You do? Oh yeah, bring back to you. Do you really do? To what? What does it bring you back to?

I want to know what it brings you back to. Just fucking take an ecstasy and hit him with it. You did? Did you? You're fucking taking ecstasy and you did did you Yeah, I was hated that and I hated Pasha and I hated all that stuff but yeah But you want to move when the mood hits oh, dude. Yeah, when you're by yourself and you can just do a little wiggling That actually I was never like a club guy, but I'll listen to this like on the subway Oh, just get you pumped to go in the city Yes, I used to go I used to go to discos back in Medford. What? They're discos. Yeah, they're called

Club dude you're dating your Bones. I don't know how to call a club. I don't care who you being ages. Did you dance? Did you? Yeah, I went me and my friends would go to the Palace Disco the sounds were bump Palace disco the sounds were bump The gang but a cool the gang Night she's fresh Exciting. Oh, yeah, that's all rules. She's fresh job fresh bomb on me Baby music just used to be what commercial songs are now. Oh, absolutely fresh and they're like yeah, it's like it's like term demolition man

You have to bomb me Like who is that? Listen, this is this no listen. This is this is this is gap band. Is this gap band? No, it's a guy fresh I'm gonna fake this right listen this oh How'd you dance? Bobby's in the club go. I'll get the booze. I'm actually for mad thing I got it in some of them Bobby's got some fucking rules I'm actually not allowed to go in there cause I fucking stabbed the guy

I don't know I was showbiz and I was 15 I was a fucking pro oh damn do you and Don have disco night from Max goes to bed? We can't We have a button in the house that you push and every time you push it You have a disco ball comes there. Yeah, just Bobby. I'm gonna go put the dress on and you guys put the kid to sleep Max gonna grow up and he's me like yeah, you know how when your parents when you go to sleep your parents just blast disco music

You go to sleep and that's when your parents have their time, which is always disco music. He's gonna think everyone does that. You go to sleep and that's when your parents have their time. Which is always disco music. Alright, right here. Ready, ready. Oh, hell yeah. He's going on. I was like, I don't think Bobby actually knows what part he's going on. No, look at this music video.

Hey, you really got the mic. Those little microphones. Damn, Bobby, you probably were so shiny. I didn't get so shiny. I'm here lovely. I could be come true. I'll really anything to spend the night with you. You've got the lyrics right there.

I'm reading the lyrics. And I can't stop, baby. Yeah. This is frisky lady. Frisky lady. Do you call your, do you call it Don Frisky lady? I call it a rendit. Let's get this fucker You know, uh, you know, I think Max is hitting those r. E. M's

Why don't we fucking Don get over it. It's some fucking frisky lady Don you're my frisky lady honey, so you like Oh dude, so you like club music, but just to listen to I listen to it on the yeah dude like specific songs It's not like what's your go-to what's your go-to to amp up Brunin Sagalo when you're on the train. Oh my god You know it's one of those situations where I can't think of it right now I have so many I just toss one out. It doesn't have to be a dog.

I'm not gonna chat. I don't know, I don't know. Look at your phone, you can look at your phone. No, I don't wanna look at my phone. I wanna use my brain. No, you're not gonna look at it. I do have a public Spotify that I've, for the past seven years, I've made a- No, no, no, no, no, because public Spotify you know is public.

I don't care. So you're going into that cure rate. I don't care. I mean, SAG just choked. I wanna know, it's fucking, I know. I wanna give you a song, let me give you a song. SAG, you choked. I just wanna know if someone sees you on the to give you a song. Let me get you choked. I just want to know if someone sees you on the D train and you're just going nuts in your head. God damn it. I know that there's one. There's like, oh, didn't even need to look

at it. Miss hangover by flow rider. I listen to that on repeat. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that on. Put that. Put that on. Put that on the fucking intrain. I want to know this. Just, dude. Just coming up in Queens. Yeah. Is this you going down the stairs? This is going down a stairs this that way. Right when you're going. Is this you walking up at fucking 36? Uh-oh.

This is where you hustle up a little bit. This is the local entry. Next stop will be 36 Avenue. Yeah, so that ladies in general, man. Ladies and gentlemen, this is 39th Street Dutch Kills. I have not homeless. Yeah. Uh, uh, if you don't have a dollarills. I am not homeless. Yeah.

If you don't have a dollar, I'll take a smile. Yeah. And I'm listening to this. I know. Take over. Okay, I'm in the group. And then someone next to you goes, why is this guy breathing weird?

Because they can't hear you. Because all the hair is cut to music. All the hair is sagilistening. That's something like this. Yeah. I'm kind of seeing you. Sagilist, are you spinning around from the pole to pole? Like it's a musical?

Yeah, if I was alone on the train, I'd be spinning around. I said, I was just trying to go for a singover. In your ears, plan. Dude, do you ever get caught? What, singing? Rapping. Yeah, all the time. I made you nervous.

Do you ever get caught? The 90 things ran through your head. I don't smell or panise. I made you nervous. You give a good cut the 90 things ran through your head I don't smell or panties. I just take them and then I give them back I don't ever steal their underwear. It's going there and I want to see how they sleep. I just want to see where they're sleeping Sixties legal in Jersey. Yeah, it's like the scene in Bougie nights where he's like just there's so small So jack you gotta believe me. Dude, when I was drinking, I would be every night on the train with a fucking white claw, just wrapping whatever I'm listening to.

To the point where people texted their friends and their friends reached out to me, I think that happened to Fini. Somebody reached out to Fini, I was like, I think Brennan like wrapping on the train very loudly. Can I ask what, would you know what kind of wrap it was? I actually know exactly what it was, and it wasn't wrap, it was a Christmas carols.

I was singing Christmas carols very loudly. Like what, one. Old ones are new. All of them. I was finishing every single one. I was trying to think. Can I ask you a question now? Because I hate these people on the subway

that sing at a regular volume with they have so we have to hear it But they have your buds in so they're not hearing it if you ever see now. Oh, I hate it. Yeah, was that what you were doing? Yeah So you're just on the entry coming in the I would have I would have It's the most I Would the live it's the most One the food I'd be shut the round Christmas You know I actually do it this I do it in the summer look at his little Rosie cheeks

Yeah, you wouldn't love I got this little wayward. Yeah, you're like is he and from the Santa Claus Yeah, is he like one of those hidden children with the pointy ears? Oh if he broke into like a Kelly Clarkson Christmas album Oh, or some Boo-Bla. Oh my god. Oh, man. Oh, for Christmas. I do sag a little cruning hole in the right, a white claw on the train. You can go.

Yeah, I'm just fucking by people and putting putting them my hand to their cheek Fuck his face. I saw Michael Boobley a he did a version of White Chris. So he sings White Christmas. The backup singers are all black, which was hilarious. And he's going he's going, uh, what Christmas? He finishes the song and goes, can't really say that anymore Audience turn on him oh my god, he had to be like come on guys like it got very awkward I call it an arian Christmas We call

I can't say these broads on stage with me to get this stuff The stage reeks of cocoa, but if you know what I mean, let's come on with the next one. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, I see the audience. This hair comes off. Dude, dude, who play? Who play just being crazy racist? He goes, oh, I'll be home for Christmas. Not a lot of like of their dad, so.

Yeah, you fucking doing it. What's happening? Who play? Dude, who plays the reverse hysterectomy? He makes mom's wet Who play gets mom's going he goes there was dasher or I guess dasha yeah, we have fun here Once is not a real holiday I'm one of these broad stoat Check out the nose and the guy in the front row. He looks like he's celebrating Hanukkah

Vrgris, man. Shabbat Shalom. Yeah, isn't Ramadhan in the spring? Get out of here. Beat it, you heathen. Get out of here, you have a brother. Jesus was Jewish, but we don't know that against him. The weather outside is frightful in Harlem. Everyone knows Jesus is right. You look and count on me. Just the racist.

You people don't hear it because they're like, his voice is so good. It reminds me of a simpler time. Yeah, for a reason. Remember how good things used to be for us? Can any winks of the guy? I just don't do that. The guy's lemon, you can take your shirt off

and your tattoos didn't scare people. Oh, stop it. So what I'm into, alternative literature. Maybe do your own research. You get down me. Six million. He's not that many. Oh, I'm saying it.

Yeah, you know, you want to make an omelie got a crack some eggs We've existed all over the world of mind you It's his Pablo Francisco moment Good hands with all of that. How about I leave? How about you suck my ding dong right there? Oh, I forgot to say that. Oh, that's great.

By the way, shout out to everyone in Sacramento. Who put you suck my ding dong. Who put up with me at least once in a show going, what's that sir? You think I can get this? What's that sir? What's that sir? What's that sir?

How about you, you suck up? Whoa! Whoa! Did you sky on the Thursday show? I brought it up. What's that, sir? What's that, sir? How many of you took up? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did this guy on the Thursday show? I brought it up. It was a camper, a guy listening to the show. And he goes, it happened right there. It happened right there.

And he's like pointing to it at the stage. I go, yeah, there's not like a plaque. Where it's like, this is the place where all of the friends just go, lost his mind on drugs. It shouldn't be. Yeah. You should buy one. If the punch line was funny, you should buy one.

I'm gonna reach out to Molly and and be like I'm buying a plaque. 100% this should be a plaque right there. And just have it say in courtations marks what's that sir? No it should be a plaque it should be a chalk outline of his body. Because the stage goes up so it should be right on the stage where it goes up. What's that sir? What's that sir? You think I can't get at this?

So hard to get at this. That is so funny man. What's that sir? You think I can't get others? So funny man It's my ding dong right now. I love they doesn't the sick my ding dong right now Yeah, dude. I am my bone My mom loves booblay dude. I love them. I had to buy her a booblay CD like fucking four years in a row Asking about just asking about him. Yeah, it's weird when like your mom is like Has like the hots for a singer some my mom loves Ed Sheeran every time it comes on my my boy Is it because it looks like because he looks like you? Yeah, you think that's weird Put that together man

Yeah, she's like this this is the son I wanted. She's like, can I treat your son to actually do something? She is always calling me about my weight. She's always like, I'm just worried about you. Really? Yeah, sweet mom. But then I bet she feeds you when you're at home. No, she doesn't?

No, my mom doesn't, my mom doesn't know how to cook. She doesn't, really? What? Who what? How did you get this? Right, well don't, don't wash out her mom. Sorry, you're right, you're right. Yeah, that was really-

Like the homeless dog. This is Sagalo. Sagalo, let me tell you something. Sagalo has rage under, he's like the Hulk. It's under the skin. Very one layer, you say one thing. What the fuck did you say? Yeah, he'll snap.

You know what I've been saying to myself lately? You can't see through the water water when it's boiling Scary Here his is a trick-a-treat When he fucking snaps on Fini and fucking cannon no, there's just him You know what's going first? Yeah, Fini Yeah, it goes if F yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Of course, I'm grabbing him by his stupid fucking hair and just smashing him. He's too much. He just wants you to do one of those fucking welcome to hell video.

He's shit. Can it's gonna go because he doesn't dye his hair? You could have had it. Just dye your fucking hair. Jet black, you'd be fucking stupid. I can read Can in more. I know that he's like, you know, he's got some demons that I can see. But Fini's, his life is too good.

His life is too good. He's too handsome. He has no right to make fun of people. Oh, I see what you mean. You know, he's coming up to privilege. Yeah, he's speaking from privilege and he's coming after you. Yeah, I mean, that's why you got so much heat. Well, a year and a half ago, he was just sitting at the bar watching you and Canon of the salad just kill it. And now he just filmed a special at all four clubs. Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah'll just kill it. And now he just filmed a special at all four clubs. Oh my god.

Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah, he's getting Christmas cards from SD. Well, I'm struggling showing up, but I'm not even working there. You know, my favorite is Mike Finley. Oh, my. You know who I forgot was a live Brendan Sackler. I did not know that he still breathed air.

I asked him to get me Israeli salad. I thought he was new weight. I thought I go, I go and she looks terrible. And she looks like shit. What happened to him? Also, he is a void consolation. I give this man a $1. My cannon.

I have my Phoenixes. No. man he is a dollar. Mike Cannon. Mike Phoenix is now. Oh, he's here. He has cool. Mike and he's like, what's going on? I'm drinking a martini. The fucking martini. Hey, what's up guys? Anybody want to know about a city?

I'm like Jim Carrey's son. It's very, very, you know, you know, Samuel is getting a call after this. Hey man. Could you? You guys not shit. I mean things going good right now, dude. No, dude. We'll jump on the chat. No Sushima. Well fucking no No, I'm gonna online video games Mayfini and Ian finance and Andy Fiori. It was fun, man Play this samurai game called ghosts of Tsushima. Yeah, I played that game.

You didn't. Whoa. No, you didn't, Bob. Fuck yourself. You haven't played a game since Xbox. Ghost of Tsushima. That's Tsushima. Tsushima.

I love Tsushima. It is racist. It is racist. I'm a big fan of Tsushima. It's not about Tsushima. It's about samurai culture. First of all, you don't even know. I got a samurai tattoo.

Do you? Why? Yeah. Show me it. Because I'm a, I believe in samurai way. What got a samurai tattoo. Do you? Why? Yeah. Show me it. Because I'm a, I believe in samurai way. What's the samurai doing? It's a circle. What's it called?

It's called, yeah, shukou. No, it's not called boshito. That's what I said though. Listen. Boshito logo. Yeah, but the first original way they set it was Yoshiko. No, show me your turn. That turned into, that turned into boshito.

You are what we call a giant liar. And we do the cherry blossom change. Okay, Kelly. He just kicked me in the samurai way. That is the worst tattoo I've ever seen in my life. That? What is that? That's a house. What does that mean?

Yeah, a little house on the other side. That's a house. It's a Japanese for a house. I would talk to this man size of house Tell him it's mean respect when the man knows a crazy amount of ways My try to take me out. Yeah, they had to age army. Did you see that? Yeah? Yeah, I put you like that. I'm uncomfortable. He touched me physically Yeah, it was one of those kids that went he pushed me.

That's how good Bobby is. We were just making fun of him. All he said was did you see what he did and you just jumped right on board? I mean, dude, don't try to. I mean, that's some serious allegations. He kicked his, I mean, you see it? Do you see it? Oh, it hurts.

It hurts so much. I was waiting for the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sucked and he was like this starting left guard on varsity and we were playing a stupid game at my friend's house ghost in the graveyard. We're just like running from each other. We're being idiots. We were like soft moors or juniors. He was an important member of the football team right and you had to run to home base and we ran a home base and collided and I heard his knee. And he was like, what fucking knee? What fucking knee? And then I was like, oh my ankle. And I started being like, oh my ankle hurt. Yeah. Oh, you hurt me too. So this is pretty even. Have you ever been caught doing something as a kid? Like you get in trouble so you just start crying? And you're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

No. Never done that either. I was in a giant pussy. Yes, you fucking wore it. Yeah, no, I would. I threw it out. Yes, you were. Yeah, I was just funny to do to a guess. Someone comes on and you just go, no. Yes Who's this Let's take a bathroom break and sit down while you piss bitch. Yeah. Yeah. It's a pussy. It's a pussy. It's a pussy. It's a pussy. It's a pussy. I saw a crack. And then I saw, and then I go, I got injured by that.

Yeah. You can't be mad at me. I'm the victim too. Yeah. Yeah. I would just flee when I would get in trouble. My mom would be like, you did something. I'm definitely, I'm fine.

Good luck to you. You're closing speed better. Yeah. I got punched. Yeah. My A stepped out,'m like, good luck dude, you're closing speed better. Get off. I got punched. Yeah. My A stepped ad, but when they changed it out, you had a better step dad. I did, but I was already, it was done.

I was 10. Did you get hit, close, fisted? Yeah. Damn, in the face. In the stomach down to flat of stairs. Oh my God. Yeah, so my mom get punched. When you popped up down at the bottom of the stairs,

you're like, damn, I'm resilient. Yeah, no, I was crying And nobody was around to hold me like, Dad, you know I'm going to the disco later tonight. You fucked up my leather shirt, dad. You said, Dad, my hair. My hair. Oh, God. What did you do to my hair? Takes me a long time to get it nice. And then you hit it. They go, go, oh great, you beat Bobby into the Saturn and I fever references. Great. You hit my son into quoting Travolta.

Did he, did you have a moment when he left that you were like, it's over like the end of a hormone? You know what it is? We're like the sun's coming up and you're like, you know, it's over. One last. You know the crazy person, crazy person he is.

He's, so they're getting the divorce. Sure. They're selling the house. It's empty We're leaving. Yeah, we're moving into a two-bedroom apart my mom's gonna sleep in the living room on the floor Sweet lady, okay, he brings home. This is when it first came out brings home a Tari Wow, so me and my sister come home after school He's in the living room with just the couch and the TV left Playing Atari and we come in like what the fuck what the fuck is it? What's this?

I think that's a video game you want to play he had two remote any Let us play Me and my sister and we I remember saying to my mom. Hey mom You maybe you shouldn't divorce him. Wow after you beat the shit out of you Be the shit I heard did you ever put hands on your sister? Yep guys are monster My mother went I should burn and hell what the fuck did you just say to me and you go? I don't know. I'm just saying froggers fucking fun. Yeah, it was adventure. We remember adventure. Yeah Damn, dude, yeah,. Dude, people used to be here.

It's got flaws. He did the human mom. Sometimes there's a reason that there's a sunrise and a sunset. People look different. Hey mom, I was late. I should have been there on time. And your young boss and accent,

you just like fucking Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. You know there's a lot of people that change mom. I'm saying the Bobby Kelly story. I make mistakes too. But I probably post it to the edge. Do you ever think The Bobby Kelly story. I make mistakes too. Bob. I probably post it to the edge. Did you ever think maybe some of this was your fault?

Yeah. You clean those stairs so nice, it's so slippery. Yeah, maybe I slipped. I slipped and I fell. Hey, and Lisa is fat, and I am stupid sometimes. You know how you probably could have got your mom back? Is if it was around Valentine's Day. Steven Singer announced his brand new 24-carat gold dipthroes color for 2023, and it's Perry Winkle.

Back to the sad, you were beaten without mercy. Yes, hell? Captain. Hey, just to go off with that fucking commercial voice and do. What? Was that circle of hell for you? It was never ending.

Yeah, never ending. Now Dante has said that in certain levels of hell So your father be jeep before you answer that doesn't matter who it comes Did you ever think about putting a crash does dummy in your bed? So who take the blows? It's Mentos, but with kids getting beat Yeah, he lifts up his shirt. It's all phone books. Yeah, someone has a gun in their house and there's like a side swipe and it's a Mentos. Whoa!

Yeah, did he die? I don't know, I have no idea. You have no idea. I actually met him. I saw him. I worked at Grossman's Bargain Outlet in high school, which is a, before they had Home Depot, they had the little, you know, Grossmans in there.

It was like the lumber store. And I would roll myself up and outdoor carpet to take naps. And brilliant. I mean, yeah. Brilliant. Because you're in the carpet. Yeah.

But then how would you get out of that? Would you just roll up? He just rolls like Willie Walker. Is someone else right out of it? There's the thing that steps up. Somebody would come up and be like, can I, is anybody near Ender out? And I roll out and be like, how can I help you?

Daddy's, where they are? What the fuck are you doing? They would laugh or be like, what's happening? And then I go, can I get eight feet? And I'm like, sure, I'm having my razor blade and I cut eight feet into roctor. How deep of a nap would you get in that rug? Oh, I hit REM sometimes.

It's snoring. Yeah. This is a fucking snor-rug. It got so bad. I tried to cover for him, he's buddy in the store. Now that's a fucking... It's made from real love. Yeah, that's a Chinese snor-rug. It's fucking super expensive kid.

It got so bad I had to move my little thing to the installation, which was in the back and up. So I made a little fort in the back. Was that like a spesto store? You worried about that at all? It could get itchy on a hot day. Yeah, probably not the best idea. You went in there, had a nice little bed.

You could take a quick power nap. I, when I came in one day, oh, really? Oh, he came in. I saw him come in and my heart stopped. Because I was older now, sober now. I went through hell. Because that's what I mean. Hell and jail and all this institutions and foster homes

and rehabs. Here I am in high school. I have a job. I'm sober a couple years. Did you want to fuck them up? No, dude, my heart stopped. Yeah. I just, I was just looking.

I had a, I just went, I saw him and I, I just said, hey, you get this and I just went away until he's gone. You're the smoke cigarette. I went in the back and I drove the fork truck. Yes, oh yeah. Just fucking cool off, take a lap. Take a lap in the fork lift.

I flat stacked two by fours. I would love you rolled out of the carpet and told them all. Yeah, rolled out and you remember when you have fucking put hands on me when I was a child? I hit him with a two by four. And he goes, yeah, dude. the carpet and told them all. Yeah, you're all done. You remember when you fucking put hands on me when I was a child? You can't have the tour by four. And you go, yeah, dude.

I usually, a PVC with a roofing nail. You're like, neck. Yeah. I fucking deserve that. He's holding an Atari with a bow on it. He goes, I guess you don't want this fucking brand new attack me. You know the time you let my little dog out,

my Christmas present, and you let him out of the backyard, and then we found him on the tracks. Oh my god That was sad six beat the queer addicts. No he didn't. He didn't name me. What's this dog's name? Pardon me? Why? He's about to forget to light your ass up. He's like, what? She's in the bathroom. She's in the bathroom. She's in the bathroom. I'll say. Oh, jeesh, we, I didn't have any friends. I didn't have any friends.

She's sweet, homophobic. I didn't have any friends. And I remember when they got me bow, it snowed out. And I tied my sled to her. And she took my sled over her and she took my sled over to the place where we would go sledding. And I remember it was so awesome to have this dog. She was so beautiful. And then she would go down the hill with her.

Well, she would come down, she would run down with me. And then when I went home, I tied the sled and she dragged it home with me. Sweet girl. So I loved she was so beautiful. Afghan, did you ever see an Afghan? I'll bring her. up beautiful beautiful dog. And you just loved her. I loved her. She did. Dude, I didn't have a I had a for months. Maybe a couple months. Maybe a month and a half. And he got so mad at us one day. Oh, damn. Wait, your your dog was the starting quarterback

of the Jacksonville Jaguar. Pull up why? Trevor Lawrence was your fucking dog, right? Puppy. Puppy, uh, yeah, I mean, you know, yeah, it was a little puppy one like that, like over on the right hand, got you, she looked like over there. Oh my God. I mean, gorgeous little dog and, and, oh man, I was so happy. I mean, play with her every day and go in the backyard when I came home from school. She was like my friend that I, and her name was Bo.

Bo. Now, can I tell you something? I mean, the poke holes in the, in the backyard when I came home from school. She was like my friend that I- And her name was Bo. Bo. Now can I tell you something? I don't mean to poke holes in the past. Bo is a masculine. Oh, maybe he was a girl. Was it Belle? Let me, can I call my mom?

Was it Belle? No, it was Bo. And me, it was a boy. It might have been a boy. It's like a little call, mommy. No, we don't. Okay. I believe that.

We don't have to remind her of this. Yeah, you don't have to bring up another traumatic. Hey, mom, remember when you had a piece of shit ex-husband that beat your fucking kids, got one of those dogs killed? And she's like, we were just talking about this on the radio. I was just reading the Tom Brady Tharsteinos. And I was in a better place in my head. That is movie villain.

And listen. It was, it was bad. I have to call my mom. I have to know. I can't believe you didn't turn out like, Dalmer or something. I did. Look at me. I'm a fucking psycho. Yeah, that is true. And I've gained weight seven times. I'm sure the victims are like, I'd rather he have become a comedian. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, oh oh God you have to tell her we're on the air. I was just thinking about that shitty dog you had. Oh, how you doing Bobby? I was doing knuckle push-ups thinking about your stepfather

Call me back. Oh my god. She's probably screaming into the phone Bobby. I can't hear you, but you can't hear me So sweet little dog. Letter out. Letter out. One day Kimoma was wear his bow. And he ran away, said, but he didn't. He let about. He left the gate open. And she was a puppy.

Oh, he, I don't know what the fuck it was. It was my puppy. And I guess she ran away. And then they found a dog. Jesus Christ. Oh, my they found a dog Jesus Christ This is I I

No, he lose time. Yeah, my perfect change My you're on the radio right now with everybody so don't swear, okay? You can swear All right, listen to me our dog remember the dog bow Yeah, I do oh Now was bow a boy or a girl Go was it a why bow then that's a that's a masculine Be you yeah, but that's a guy name in front and French

Was it a boy? Yeah, it was a girl It was a girl. Okay. Now she she now Billy let her out right She let her out the ad and forgot to tire up so I divorced him That's why you fucking divorced Not about us We Yeah, you too I guess all right yeah you tell i guess all right yes uh...

uh... uh... the bro the camels back of fucking dog not when he actually broke your back that was the third one in the line how many dogs did he do it to sweet or the cereal and then they made it and then they had

Alex and then Alex had both what was the dog you got that we got up into in the hampshire that was trying to bite me at least or every time that we had to get rid of that was that was both rather that there were two that lived from the litter Boris and somebody took it but they just tied it to a tree and left it there. Well I wrap it up. I don't suck. Alright. I'm bored. I'm not going to take it but. Alright. What happened? What happened'm bored. I'm bored. What happened to my cat, Shamus?

What happened to Shamus? Shamus? We had a famous... We had a strong incoherty here. What happened to Shamus? Shamus is on a farm in the Hienam Shuk. Oh, I gotta go. Alright, I love you.

Hey, do you... Oh, you saw me back yesterday after you finished Tinklin. I'm home. I gotta go. I love you so much. I'll call you on the way home. Shamus is on a farm in the Hienam Shuk. Oh, I gotta go. Alright, I love you. Hey, do you? Ma? Yeah. Oh, he's on a full chopper. I mean that yesterday after you finish tinklin. I'm mom. I gotta go. I love you so much. I'll call you on the way home. Goodbye. I love you.

Bye. Change your mom. Oh, that's awesome. She has the cat. You fucking know that you tortured it. That oil drum. Yeah. Bobby's like a young serial killer. The same thing you did to bow. Yeah. You owe Bobby, you would light him on fire. And say, look at the cat. Listen to the cat meow. It's fucking Bobby, you and animals didn't get along. Oh, Bobby, you always said they had to pay for the sins of others.

You always said you liked how that livers looked. I'll tell you right now, nothing hurts more than a mom. Being like, why did you make that other major decision? It's not involving you. You go like, out right now. That's so funny. I'm 52. Yeah she goes well I divorced him because of the dog. You and your sister you could take a punch. You punch me in the face. Oh you're my children. Fifth grade punch me in the face. Dude quite opposite lives I was kissing Nick on the lips we had T-Rex with Dino David fifth grade

oh my god you kiss you kiss dudes on the lips I kiss my stepdad because I was so excited he got me a T-Rex for my birthday and Jurassic Park was coming out I was like oh no and then Nick grabbed me by my necking with your mind No, he's cool. He never fuck me. Thank God. Oh Thank God was that an option? I don't know dude cuz honestly probably what a May not you're a handsome man. He a little came with a flat butt damn dude. Your dog got fucking let out Yeah, my my dog came back. He ran away one time. Yeah, and then he just came back with an eye patch on. I just did the coolest thing in the world. He went to the he went to this hot girl's house and then hung out with her dog and then she called and I had to act like I didn't know

who she was. Wow. She was two years older than me in high school. Renee. She called and she's like, I saw her name on the caller ID Because I convinced Trish to get caller ID my senior year so I can know when the school is calling to ignore the call and I saw The caller ID was her last name and I was like it's probably a dad or brother and I picked up and she's like Hi, is this Dan? My name's Renee. I have your dog Montana. I was like, Yeah, where do you live? Do you live on that's all a drive?

And then I went and picked her up. Why didn't flowers? Dude, I went and picked him up and I couldn't even look at her in the face. I was like, Hey, thanks. And then I did the gaze shit. I did the gase thing I've ever done in my life. I got my dog. She handed me back my dog and I went come on Montana and we ran right right right right right right

right right right right right right right right right right right right

right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right Dude, the looking away from a girl that you had a crush on was my move. I'd just be staring at them all of class and then the minute they kind of felt me and it just looked like a... She was too... Dude, I did best in show.

Dude, I did, I did a run-up. She was two years older than me and she's like the hottest girl that I think ever went to my high school. And she was like, ended up becoming a Broncos cheerleader. So that moment I was like, ended up becoming a Broncos cheerleader. So that moment I was like, dude, thank you Montana. Montana was like, you're a real thing. Yeah, you didn't even look at her, you pussy. Hey, why did you do that queer jog at the end, dude?

Oh, I'm Montana, why are you crying? Because you're such a pussy. I go, oh, that's crazy for my dog. I go, yeah, sorry Montana, I was just that cock shortening surgery. Yeah, I had to go to a class that says, I'm too good at eating pussy. Oh, I got in trouble again

because I ate another supermels pussy. Yeah, dude, can you say goodbye like this? You say goodbye to where you're like, all right, see ya. Yeah, dude, I can't believe I did that. I I did the trot I can't believe you did that on radio Yeah, oh is this live? I can act out I'm recording yeah dude where'd you go? Oh dude I thought maybe they'd hear my footsteps slamming on the ground

Clunking back, clunking on the ground Daddy Ranny did a running bit but I wasn't he as he ran away from the microphone It's called being innovative. Sorry, I'm trying to bring a new element to you. I can't say that. I was nervous. I did well. Sackle, I just did an act out. This is something we're...

Do we have that story about the 23 year old guy who's dating the tiny girl? I think Christine, I think you might have it. There was this reality show that we found out about. Yeah. And there's a good subject to talk about because Jay talked about it on Skanks so we can talk about it here. I think it's safe.

But there's a reality show on TLC. I think it is or it might be, I think it's TLC where the girl looks like an eight year old but she's actually in her 20s. Yeah. It's called like a... Wednesday? Shawna Ray. I'm sorry,s. Yeah. It's called like a... Wednesday? Sean Array.

Oh, sorry. That's good. It's called Sean Array. I am Sean Array. I am Sean Array. Yeah. I am Sean Array. This girl looks like a small child.

Yeah. And her voice is weird. If you can bring up the Sean Array thing, though, first before we get to this, so that we can give a little bonfire context, if you will. The TLC does a little thing called I'm tiny and perverts want to fuck me. I forget it's called I am Sean Array and it's just yeah there she is. What did she look like when she was like 18? She looked like a baby.

I don't know she's like Megan the robot movie if it was real. Yeah. This Megan has looking as bitch. If you bring up like a clip of it, she's like, how old is she? 25? She's in her 20s and she's like, Katie and I ended up watching an episode. Yeah, I remember watching a clip of her being like, Oh, the love to have someone to love me. I had this one of her little tattoo.

Oh, she's a little person voice. Yeah, she's Her vocal chords in growl these all these pedophiles are like oh sweet sassy my last oh my god Jesus she's the hienic in zero for pedophiles She's the high-knockin zero for pedophiles. She's she's So fucking I I can fuck you and it's fine and like Chris Hanson I see yeah, they're not even trying to make them lose. Yeah, usually you're in the other room yelling downstairs, but I know this. Right, right, Mike's hard lemonade.

I get it. Hey, sport, what are you doing here? I know the questions. Yeah, no. It'd be funny though, if they like got married and then if they're wedding days, like, take a seat, Chris Hanson comes out. I knew it.

Hey, guys, anybody have to say word against this marriage? It's Chris Hanson, he goes, and I'll justick a C. Here's the play of Club Over. All right. Out of the closet. Say, I'm going to eat my closet. What a nightmare.

My sister's how. My sister's. My sister. I mean, yeah, dude, if you're her older sister, you got a swat away pedophiles from her constantly. Yeah. Or you look like her mom. That'd be sick, though.

What? If I do it act like my kid. Yeah. Watch this. And I'm going to from her constantly. Yeah. Or you look like her mom. That'd be sick though. What do you do to act like my kid? Yeah. Watch this. I'm gonna toss her around. They could be con men. Yeah. Oh my god. Dude, you could do so many cons with a kid that look like that. Oh my god. I'd be con and all the other. Yeah. Grifting. Oh my god. Dude. Yeah. Dad, where are you? Thanks. I mean, that's what Gary Vieter's dad did. He was a con man. No way really. Gary Vieter's dad, you should tell people that Gary was a reporter for sports illustrated for kids. And then he would get him into like locker rooms at Madison Square Garden. Gary Vieter

is a kid met John L. Way Michael Jordan. He was at game seven of the Stanley Cup 1994 finals. Wow. uh... he was at game seven of the Stanley Cup 1994 finals while when they when the rangers beat the van koeber canucks and he was like he got to like be in the locker room because they legitimately thought he was a sports host for kids uh... they're all they're all they did a whole article on a sports rabbling a young gary veter put this down yeah that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Yes, yeah, yeah, you're the fucking kid from sports heel straight for kids. Yeah, huh? How am I knew we're gonna win the cup? Huh kiss me to Canadian tradition

Kiss me on the mouth y'all fucking loser What you don't like fucking loser kiss me What if she's not that big? What if everything in the house is just huge? That's hilarious They do a lily-tongue Big fucking No word all giants. She's fucking five foot seven. She's an average height.

Yeah, actually pretty tall woman. While she sleeps, we put helium in her mouth. She doesn't understand that we are all giants. All her families are like, well, we're actually suffer from giant enthusiasm. Yeah, we didn't want to feel uncomfortable. It's actually easier to make her think she's tiny. So it's a lot easier than her letting her know that all of us are going to die at a very young age.

It's giants don't live long. Yeah, we're like great Danes. Yeah, we're like a great Danes of family. Online dating profile a while ago, but I realized online dating wasn't for me, so my mom suggested that I give match. Stop, stop, stop, stop. How old is she? 23. Oh, I can't. This is nuts. Nuts. But again, imagine that your brain is broken and you're sexually attracted to children. You can't. This is best case scenario. You can't fuck her. I mean, you can. You can. Youally. But you can't. Legally you can. I can't. I mean the post nut regret. Yeah. You're talking to me. Yeah. Oh, I'm a fucking. She goes, nothing. I'm playing Josh in Minecraft. I mean, they could do a lot of like online pranks.

Yeah, if they fucking, she goes, when she's done, she goes, do you mind if we toss on some blues clues? Yeah. Hey, did you see the latest Henry Danger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that happen? Oh, my God. You know, I love after a good fucking is door of the explorer.

I look to go on an adventure and you're like, are you sure you're not a pilot? Dude, you know what you could do? Do you have any balloons? Can you, can you, you know what I could do right now? Color. What did I love doing after I fuck like an animal?

Color. Can we get Smash Burger? Yeah. Do you guys have any dino nuggets? Yeah. She don't eat dino nuggets with hippie sauce? Cause after I fuck it, that's right. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Oh, well. This is fucking terrible, dude. Well, dude, she's dating a fucking guy now. She's dating a guy, here it is, in the New York Post. It's Tom Brady. It says, I'm dating a 23 year old woman who looks like an eight year old girl I'm not a creep you've given yourself up dude. Yeah, you can't say that's it. You can't say you have to play stupid

You have to play stupid is it weird that she looks yeah, I guess she Hey, dude, wait, are you sure she's over in a sandbox? Yeah, he's sure. He's like, he grabs somebody's hand. He's like, come on, babe, let's go. It's an actual hero. She's not that young. She comes up. I made you a bracelet. This is our house and that's our dog. She's like an artist, man. Draw little stick figures. Is this him? Yeah, dude, this is beautiful. I'm so glad we have video hell Yeah, oh praise a law is that her on the bar? That's no she works a bar. Yeah, dude. It's called it's called thoughts and suds

How many it's called little boozey Wrong assholes make Joe sat her like can I pay you in teddy bears? You know, hey, I'm gonna put you on my shoulder like a pair. No, you're so, and she goes, wall, your wife left you and he goes, I know. Can I pay you in teddy bears?

See, you guys, I can't help just to have her back when you're in. Hey, American girl, I'm getting a little white hair in my blood and visibly. So I was like, I don't like going to that bar because one of the bartenders looks like my daughter who doesn't talk to me Anyway, you can never I lost my kid in a car accident. She looks just like her You could never fuck her in public What I mean never I never fuck your wife.

I don't think that's how I stack up a relationship. I first met my old hag of a girlfriend in public all the time. If you don't, I'm the first vinegar, Katie, what's your name? Fucking in public spread. Yeah, but if you fucked her in public, you'd be beaten. If you kissed her in public, could you imagine that? If you gave her like a fucking relationship kiss, we go, dude, do you want to get your home?

Dude, yeah, that's what they should do. They should do that and put it on TikTok and just film people's reaction You just go to a park let her swing for a little bit come back over the bed. You just stop making out Yeah, he goes god you got so high I thought you were gonna go completely over Where are you fucking high you got you go completely over. I'm gonna come baby come here. You're so good at the monkey bars I'm gonna come baby come here. You should get the monkey bars Here play the play the Instagram video of him being like I swear to God. I'm not a pet of fire I knew her age I knew all that that's crazy. Dude. It's crazy because her pussy gets wet like an adult none of me

Actually the worst part about it is her pussy's not tight Yeah, he's got a beefy one I'm not a cream. Yeah, she's 23 He goes either she just looks alone. I can't get you away. You shouldn't be kissing her at a McDonald's It's a bad that I'm looking at the likes and I'm getting jealous You know, I like Exactly, I just thought she was a grown adult. Oh stop it. Carnies are available all the time. We had these people in our land called Hobbits. It occurred a bit small, isn't it? Oh, this one, Ben. I call them a little cramping. It's got my join as we took it to the ball ball game It's not a big deal if you have in six with a child. Yeah, you have a smoke of fag after beat six with a woman

It was for the child a lady that looks like a child is much different than a much One of you Americans grow up Winston Churchill had a child bride as well So yeah me mate to tell him is she's 23 or more, that's mental. I'm over there, looking at her going in there. You must be straight off a little poorer chip, wouldn't you? Pick me. It's awesome.

She's, we go to dinner, it's very cheap. She gets chicken McNuggets in fries. Oh we get the fish and chips. She is one eye at the rest. Fill her up, BingBang Boom. BingBang Home, what get the fish and chips? She is one eye at the rest. Fill her up, Bingbang Boom. Bingbang Boom. Watch the merry barter. We have a little bangers and merch. Take it back. Put her in a crib. Tucker in. I tell her a little story. I tell her about the I.R. race. Who I tell all that. My name is Jason. My name is Jason Stacey. I think I have something to Steyford. That's the Irish guy. I know. I know.

I think that has something to do with England. That's what I'm talking about. Let's keep playing it. Inspired by her emotional strength? Shut the fuck. You were inspired by her emotional strength. Yeah, she had to pull that bar thing. You know what?

Heavy that is to her. This is the equivalent of a 70 pound fight. Yeah, wait for you. Yeah. You can do it, Guinness, but I can't. Took me three years. He goes, well, I could only call her what some would call a powder cake of six million. He's royal British now.

Actually, Prince Andrew, he's two and a half and he was quite beneficial to him. As he touched me, I felt alive. Had he heard things with the Johnny Car? It's Johnny's time. You feel... It's quite lovely. Alive.

I'm in a hula. There's some flowers on the cars saying, go live your best life, wishing you all they happen as you deserve. Of course, I did this show knowing I was going to get some hay, but it's very important to remember that. Shornet is an incredible 20th building who has has a disability so as you build a connection with her it's important to acknowledge her disability and not pass that and build it with who she is as an individual.

You know she's this incredible inspiring 23rd woman who just happens to be a little bit sure. He goes but I'm not going lie, the domestic violence is fun. I choke slam her, I toss her around like a tall. No, she beat him. Oh, after we meet something. Do we play Master Blaster? She rides me shoulders around.

And then I'm just a simple love slave. That's fucking crazy, man. Oh my God, the way he's like leaning into it, it's like, dog you've got. Well you just keep saying 23 year old woman. She's a 23 year old woman. I need to reiterate. She's 23 years old.

Hold on, before we do anything else, she's 23. She has volcano tits of a 13 year old girl. It's insane. How good the pussy is. But she's 23. Yeah, pussy tastes like skittles. There it is. I'll be like, he's like, I can't believe you're an adult.

Yeah, wait, wow, you're almost 24. That's crazy. Yes, she does believe in the Easter Bunny. It's a problem. The dude's very good. She still has baby teeth. But I do assure you they hurt as much on your cock as adult teeth. I really give her a good rodger egg.

And then we paint. We finger paint. It's quite lovely. It's quite lovely actually. This fucking group and role-playing is amazing. It goes, I we could do Peter Pan we can do We do lost at the mall. Oh you lost it. No, don't scare me like that again I better give you a punishment the car We do things called afflaptic pressure

Hit play I blew a tire I had a flat tire on highway I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the Yeah There it is. What is it? Anaphylactic? I fucking had to do it. I liked it. I blew the tire and I was like you know what I'm gonna pull off. I was curious I just want to know what it was anaphylactic. I knew a girl in my science class named anaphylactic. Anyway, doesn't matter

What comes? I'm just gonna switch to my side. You're gonna sit in that one. I don't know. It's something about me. I don't sit in anything. We got to get to the end of this because we're gonna sit in that one. I don't know what it's gonna be. It's something about me. I don't sit in anything. We gotta get to the end of this, because we're gonna take our last break. But man, this shows fly by. A real world connection for someone else. You dehumanize her, which is absolutely disgusting.

Shut up. Shut up. Absolutely disgusting. And she cries. And cries. You're fucking weird, dude. Yeah. How are you talking shit to us? you're fucking weird dude. How are you talking shit to us? You're weird, bro.

This piece of shit got regular size chairs for his house. This guy's, yeah. Why do you get her a fucking chair for her, you piece of shit? You gotta give her steps like she's a fucking chihuahua. So she can get up on the bed. She's on the fucking kayak, it's regular size. Yeah, you can't go bowling with her because they don't have children shoes This guy's calling us this piece of shit

Human being she does the half Relationships and connection put her on the back seat by the way. Yeah, right? Yeah, she shouldn't be in the she should be facing the back Dude she's gonna go through there like a bag of cat litter That airbag's gonna go through there like a bag of cat litter airbags gonna smash your head Hey she should be she should be in a child she should be sitting backwards to the back see Not me in the front seat I don't think she meets the 40 pound weight minimum for a seatbelt Yeah, couples. I swear, this is my girlfriend.

My, you're digging yourself in deeper. I thought I was in your British school. If they get to a fight though, and she, they can, she can do whatever she wants. You're mad, man. If you get to a fight. This man makes me kiss him on a swimsuit region. He is.

Honey, honey, can you not, can you not do that? Not right now. She's an adult. She's a 23 year old. I assure you we are going through a little bit of a tough period. She's not a child. He made me put hot dogs inside my vagina. Alright, buddy. You better say something or else you're getting into your rest. I'm this, man. I promise you she's getting thrown into the you, she's just fucking through. She's getting thrown into the cop car.

She's just walking back. No, it's not even looking at it. I didn't know there was a cigarette. She's like, is she right right? But it's here. Looks like it's here. It's a bubble comes here.

You got a piece of shit behind bar. Dude, that's what she's going to do. She needs relations. That's what she's got to do. You've got a piece of shit behind bars. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Whether that is not creepy this limey fucker trying to explain his way to do it I guess I promise you I don't you go off to anything we don't look at my you need hit in history I bet Yeah, everyone in the studios hands up right now is we all don't understand how you can have an emotionally deep connection with a child I say Now I come home or my wife Fuck dude, we are running so behind, Brynn and Sagalow.com. Robert Kelly alive.com, bigjcommy.com,

here at comdancer.com. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. That was just a portion, a tiny sliver, a morsel of the entire show. You want the whole thing? Go to seriesxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer that is tremendous.

It's so good. It's gonna make your family upset with you. We're gonna lose money over here. I'm slash bonfire for a special offer that is tremendous. It's so good. They're going to make your family upset with you. We're going to lose money over here. And you can go to bigjcomedy.com and dancota.com for our standup dates.