The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Cruising!

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

Bob Kelly shows Dan the movie "Cruising" featuring a hunky Al Pacino.

I'm Dan. And I'm Jay. And this isn't just a podcast, everybody. We're actually a radio show over on SiriusXM. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the SXM app. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. Too special to tell you here, but it may involve sex. For our stand-up tour dates, go to dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dancoder.com and bigjcomedy.com. And now the bonfire with big J. Ocarus and dancoder. Just two people rocking, rocking the fucking faces off. There you go. It's the bonfire. Sirus XM F Faction Talk 103. Dude, I just did the thing in my brain where I was afraid I was going to say our old place. You know why you're saying something

and you're like, am I making a mistake right now? I thought I was going to say the old CC. CC radio. I'm Dan Soder. Big J. Overson is in Los Angeles. Full LA. He's selling the biography movie about his life. It's called Even Bigger J. Overson is in Los Angeles, full LA. He's selling the biography movie about his life. It's called even Bigger J.

Ah, okay, I was wondering if you're gonna come with a title. Sure, of course I am. I was gonna say, I can do it again. I was gonna- Little J to Big J. Now, my story, I think I would call the Big J biography fingerless heart, the story of a man learning to love. Ha, that one.

Yeah. How about big J? My assholes always been clean. That's good, but not my finger. Clean holes. Yes, clean holes. I think cleaning holes. That's a good one. Cleaning holes.

Uh, that's Robert Kelly. We got full crew in here. DJ Lou, Jacob Atat, Christine Marie Evans, and our Black King, the Black Tiger, Lewis. Jaws. To any claims that were homophobic, we've watched more gay porn on this show than any rock steamery Evans and our black king the black tiger Lewis To any claims that were homophobic we've watched more gay porn on this show than any other show serious Exxon the first gay porn I think I from this show I've watched more gay porn than like like the gayest guys do because that Jay will just Look at that look at that And then we learned about gay we learned about gay punching that was the funniest one. What's gay punching these two guys?

We watched this video where these two guys were just how they start is they just like start punching each other in the shoulder Pushing each other And then they like Greco Roman grab and then they grab each other and then they start fucking You remember the movie cruising with Alvachino? No. How rough. You remember that? Oh my god. He played a gay guy.

Christine, can you please bring up the trailer for cruising with Alvachino? No, the opening of the movie is the most, it's a giant pan through a gay bar. And the guys are fisting each other. What? Yeah. Blowing each other.

Alvachino dresses like a cop. You were like, what the fuck? Alvach just is like a gay cop. One of the funniest. I've never heard of this movie. It's one of the most... Billy Freakin directed it. Sure. So Pacino has to go under cover as a gay guy because there's a maniac killing gay guys and gay bars. He's picking them up. So he has to...

Laura Mark did it. All right. The ending of the movie is the fun. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. and gay guys and gay bars. He's picking them up. So he has the- Alaw, Jeffrey Dahmer. Right. So he has to- Loremarked it. All right. The ending of the movie is the funniest thing because by then he's got the lingo down

and he meets the gay guy in Central Park. Yeah. And he's, and he's, and they're riffing with the gay lines. How many times have you watched this? Yeah. This is the funny, because Pacino goes,

the guy has some hips or lips. And then Pacino knows what to say. And then he goes, he asks Pacino, how big are you? And Pacino goes party size. That's my favorite part. That's so funny. I got enough dick. I'm sorry if my cock got soft. I'm over here fucking three guys in the bushes. I don't know, I don't know. So I'm sorry if my cock got soft. That's where he got the fried, that's where he got the chicken. He's dried out. Watch this movie.

This movie's nuts. Here's the trailer. Nuts. Four minute trailers and same by the way. Laura by our presents. Gays. This guy is fucking. This is back. Anyway, Laura by our present's gaze Guys fucking

This is bad. I would like to disappear Disappeared. Go undercover You know this man These victims are all the same physical type. What about him skip? Late 20s 140 150 pounds damn twigs. Oh You ever seen him before? I want to send you out there to see if you can attract this guy It's me before they had lighting and movies. Yeah, they didn't they didn't give a fuck about 70s and 80s They're like you squint harder motherfucker. Yeah, they did they didn't give a fuck about 70s and 80s. They're like you squint harder motherfucker

Yeah, you can't see anything You're gonna watch the movie because they're not gonna show the opening the actual gay You can see fun cruising opening scene because I want to know you think it's an actual porn It's so graphic the opening of the the bar scene, but they grab each other like that remind me because in the bar They grab each other roughly when they're about to dance and kiss. Oh, man. They grab each other and kiss me. Take me back, am I right?

But Pacino gets into, he's like this, like shaking his hands and the dance floor. Pacino dancing, dude, is one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life. Man, we should do a bonfire watch along where we watch cruising. Wait till when Jay comes back, we'll just set it up and watch watch cruising

Such an interesting flick that you can't you want to shut it off a lot, but you can't also that That's like that weird stage where Al Pacino was like Ambiguous with his race like he's like what is this guy Italians got Cuban? Just why they didn't want him in the godfather. Yeah, though like this fucking weird. Oh, it's gonna do a She's gonna do a movie called Cruiser They did the the take on the S&L Dan Acroid did the cruising gourmet. Oh, that's funny. He's pounding like stuffing a bird He's beaks or cheeks He's just pounding the bird with stuffing. So this movie from 1980 So yeah, dude I was and, AIDS wasn't even kind of around.

This is why. You were still a bath house, and dude. This is what it ruled to be gay. This is where you were just smoking meth and fucking dudes in bath houses. Zero consequences. No condoms. No condoms.

Except society hating you. Besides that, zero consequences. Best music ever, though. I mean, it's built for coke and methamphetamines Donna Summers and fucking riftabs yeah Harry riftabs guys didn't even have to shave back then you could be a big old fucking furball just a Harry box this studio that put this out to put out a press release saying look this isn't what we know gate this isn't that to put our press release thing we're not saying this is what gay people do

or just saying there are some gay people that find the press release this studio has to be like not all gays do this just the crazy fun ones just the ones just the sisters that don't care Dude, I still fucking crack up thinking about when I did live a Gotham J came out to the show and watched it And after he was like let me buy a shot, dude. Let's go have a shot in a beard You know congratulate you doing this show we walked into this gay bar and it was empty and Jay walks in he goes What's up girlfriend? Can I get a shot of Jack? I'm gonna go some nobody's girlfriend I was like dude Fuckin fact that that you even said that is so condom for me.

You remember Gerald at the cellar? The gay waiter? Old gay waiter? Yeah, I don't think I was around for that. I mean, I came around to him. He used to try to get me in career to go to a gay bar all the time. Every Friday night. You mean a crazy guy?

Come on, just come with me. Yeah. And he get mad. Damn, he was a fuckingumpet beef. You and Pete were too hot. We went. We went one night Saturday night. We went. What was it called the Ramrod? Of course it was. And we went. And we went. It was fun for like 20 minutes. And then it got, you know, aggressive. I don't know. Pete. I mean, this is me and Pete at our peak. This is this is when we were hot. I don't know Pete. I mean this is me and Pete at our peak This is this is when we were hot. I mean yeah, we were good looking

Pete Quarrieli even even you know as an older man attractive. I mean Pete is a Pete is a man a woman's man Yeah, and a man's man And he kept young Robert Kelly coming in there with you had to go to you bet too I had the Caesar haircut at that time. Oh what what Coming in there probably the denim vest on dude. I had a leather god damn it thin leather How did you not I had a spring? They not dog pile you the second you walked in that gay bar We walked in and it was kind of late and I don't like dick, but I like conversation did we. We played pool. I played pool with a couple guys. You put your hiding out.

Netflix was probably the dogs were barking. Pete comes over and goes, dude, you gotta come with me. I go where? He goes to the bathroom. Yeah, that's smart. I go, what? No. As a straight man, you probably should go in twos to the bathroom. But I was playing pool. I'm like, I'm playing pool with Gary and Sean. Whatever the fuck you're doing.

And he's like, dude, you gotta come here. I'm playing pool with my friends. Yeah, I'm putting stick to hole. You gotta fucking come in the bathroom. You know, Cory Elligan. Yeah. You gotta come with me. I might.

So we go to the bathroom. The bathroom is only room for like two people. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, convenient. There's four people in there. Let's put it that way. I'm a gay's do party. So I'm in there. I'm like, dude, this is the gayest thing we Let's put it that way. Okay, he's do party. So I'm in there

I'm like dude, this is the gayest thing we could have done and they went right And they're like right kiss me Kiss me right now. Yeah, it was weird because then I said it's second-peed off. Oh, you found the whole movie Oh my god, you little sleuth you should do a watching this. Let's just watch the opening scene. Oh good Well, it's what I mean this is Jacob. You're like Mr. Skin, but gay. This movie is a Pachino classic. I mean, it's a hidden Pachino. I didn't even know of its existence. Yeah, I do no idea Until just now. Yeah, they don't they don't they do they do They do they do

Cerepaco is a big one dog day afternoon Big one godfather one two even three that they remastered I'm a fan of the devil's ads I'm a fantasy All right, I mean he's one of my favorite movies not relax He's one of my top five movies. It is not even the top 20. You're so retarded. It's crazy It is not even the top 20 you're so retarded. It's crazy. You're his favorite. He is in my top five movies for sure. Boogie nights my favorite movie of all time. But I would put heat in the top three. It is overrated. What the fuck are you? What's your top? Is my mic off? Did you turn my moon? I didn't know you could fart out of your mouth. Oh, did you fucking talk about it? You're just saying he's good because.

Because why? Because it's one of the best high school because because because because because you know, because you know, because you know, because you know, finally before they both go silly before they both lose their fucking minds. Wow, you're really turning left wing. What do you mean? Right now? You know what I mean? So you just yaps over the other person. What do you mean? I'll call me right? You know, like right? You know, like black people when you're done talking. I'll tell I'll make my point. Why don't you like it good why is it not a good movie because

Okay, it's it's an okay movie. Is it godfather now? You already changed now. Is it godfather no? The two different genres godfather's not a heist movie. It's the same comparing it to Pichino's great work We're talking about you're in its fucking pocket, and you're already out of his pocket. Are he's gonna be in a war mode now? No, he's not. I'm agreeing, I like heat, but I don't think it's,

no, I love heat actually. Jake taking it. Please show us a way. He's okay, thank you. Thank you. He's okay, thank you very much. Thank you very much. That DJ Lou, what are your feelings on heat?

I can take it or leave it. BOOM! Damn, I thought the show had taste, Christine. Do you want to pile on? I like it. BANG! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I think it's a great movie.

We're talking the best movies of all time as the Godfather. Park Lou. I've never seen it. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It's a great bank robbery movie. It's not when it comes on I will not rewatch it

Time it's on cable it did it's not gotta watch heat. It's not it's not a great movie. You're being a real wingo right now I've never seen Godfather and it looks really boring Yeah, there you go To quote Peter Griffin it insists upon itself Dude, it's not it's a good Good movie it's not a great move guys, I know the only thing that I'm It's Miami vice. It's Miami vice. It's all it is. It's a it's an extended Miami vice. What is that movie godfather? No That movie godfather no he

That's what albicino stinks in it. It's fucking Val Kilmer you got Michael Manson Michael Mack fucking okay, I'll just I'll tell you why it stinks his one has one reason of many wives not the great Fucking dumb Val Kilmer's elbow. Let it what happened to his elbow. What do you mean? Heat Val Kimmer's elbow. You know, it's distracting. Bring it up. Heat Val Kimmer's elbow. It's disgusting and distracting and they never acknowledge it and we're just supposed to live with it. What's wrong with his own? Oh my god. Yeah, you never know what was that. How close did you watch this film?

Apparently not close enough. That's disgusting. Nice. What the fuck? Yeah, it's gross and it's distracting to the movie and they never acknowledge it. It's fucking bleh. Yeah. So there you go.

Now what? Still one of my favorite movies. It's not. It's suck my dick. It's it's my fucking elbow But let's go back to cruising. Let's watch this open it. I mean cruising more pedigree I mean like I said William freaking who directed the excerpts is directed this So it's not like a throw away patino movie. Okay. Well, it's kind of is because I've never heard of it until now It's wack now. It's wacky. It's 43 years later. It's uncomfortable. If you love Al Pacino, don't you do not watch

this movie. You do not watch this. If you like Al Pacino, you fucking you skip this. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. If you fucking like Al Pacino, I don't want you watching a second of this. Play play play. play, I just want to watch the opening scene now. I mean, I'm gonna watch this movie now. It's our 41-a-hot gay action, dude. With crime and intrigue. I think fast-fodd, so you can get to some gay. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha It's right away. I don't have like I haven't watched it in a little while. I remember the opening bar scene is is nuts But I don't remember when it is

All right dudes kissing in construction hats. That's just the union work. Oh, wow all right. It's got a jock strap The bars nuts. I mean, it's just asless. Oh yeah dude everyone's ripping butts. Everyone's in Mike Biker gear. Guys are kissing. Honestly, a lot of sweat. There's more graphics stuff coming up. You see this guy? Construction worker was fighting in a dude. Look at he's got keys. Look at that. Sure it's off to you. This was like Skankfist Vegas. Just watch a hot guys. Yeah, they're all hugging. They're all making sure they're bumping chest. Everyone looks like Ari. I'm gonna come up to this song by

the way I'm in the next show. Please do. I can wheel your butt. Look at Harry ass with a band day on. I think Dave Smith asks. look at it looks like a fucking everyone's just wearing fucking jock straps Yeah, this is kind of gimp costume These zips up Like guys just jerking off in the background Not a chicken sight Zips up. I guys just jerking off in the background. Not a chicken sight. Not an ugly guy in sight either by the way. Do I qualify?

I hate cigarettes. Oh, really? I think they're disgusting. Wow. I enjoy them. Well it isn't, they're aggressive. If you want to quit I suggest you try another former childhood stroke. I don't want to quit, I suggest you try another former childhood stroke. I don't want to quit.

I suggest you try a master, which, further along, the smaller your back, help you spline up to the nape of your neck. Sounds addictive. What do you come here? Why do you? Because I'm having ego problems, I need to be worshiped and adored.

Where you from? Mars. Terrific. I never made it with a Martian before Damn dude, what a way to pick up a guy the same James hotel right here It's fuck dudes. Well then let's go. I got my buck licked in the tub man hotel in St. James hotel And the same James. Oh, I got a tit. I got her in the tub and I was in the tub and she lick my butt like a fucking man A tee did you float? Refloating on your stomach. I was rising my butt up a little bit like a foot.

How did you, Sans accent? How did you get your ass eaten in the St. James Hotel? You, she, she was in the tub. I was like, and Sans accent. It did you, was there water in the tub? There was a lot of water in it. Okay, I was gonna need you to not do your weird, Mississippi accent. I was

in listen to me when I talk about my ass getting eaten I have to be in my character. Bucky. I don't like this at all. I listen now. When I get my butt licked I would rather go back to watching cruising than hear your accent. I went in the tub. She went in the tub. Did she recommend eating your ass? No, I never do I never do that to a lady I'd never put that that struggle on a woman. No, my say I'm saying buggy. Hey did you ask her to eat your ass? No, you never use words when you want your ass eating young Daniel. You just put it up. You raise your butt up in the sky and then you You present and then she just munched and then she munched Well, you get her down there first she gets on you ding a link and then she goes down to your sassafras

And then once she gets past the sassafras she's right there at the wrinkle of life Hold on real quick. I just I genuinely want to know this and not in character I just want to know how young Bobby operating You were in the bathtub getting a beach And then she licked your balls and then you kind of like put your butthole up. I don't want to come out of this Yeah, well, I think you're gonna need you It makes me feel safe. I don't care about that And makes it I don't want to get me pretty I'm already I'm already reeling on the fact that I've been turned against on the movie

Heat by everyone in this office. And by the way, with Daddy J comes back, you guys are all going to pay for this. I just want you, I just want you little slicks to know, when Papa comes home, you're getting hooked. It's so mad at you guys. And I stood my ground. And he's going to be proud of me.

But you did watch a game movie. Oh my God. We'll watch that. Trust me. Watch that, Lechee. Looking for gay sex scenes still. You know, nice. All right.

Good deep dive, Christine. When you, when you want to grow the go to your butt, you know, I've never wanted that. My asshole is a wreck. You don't know. Zero. I do know that. Katie's the only woman that's ever looked at my asshole. And what she said. Why did you do that? I was like, because I'm not a god. Yeah, and then she's like, all right, do it again, because you're like challenge me and I rocked back and she was like,

okay, but I don't. I feel like my ass hole is disgusting. Well, back in the day, maybe it is now, but back in time. I know, but I wipe a clean. When you're 20, 28, 29, 30. Oh, when you're blue, not some nice and tight. It's nice. Nice. Were you that young when you were at the same James Soto?

It was in my, you know, 27, 28, 29, 30. Some were in there. I gotta make sure, you know, because I, Yeah, you don't wanna get in trouble. You know what I mean, trouble. But yes, it was, you're in the tub, tub and you kind of you know when they get down there there You kind of go Except watch with me

for you So you guys are in the bathtub. She's she's blowing you yes, and there were there is water in the bathroom We're taking a bath taking a bath in an old school pot tub. Oh, that's awesome That's a paw tub. Those things are fucking sick. Let's not go back to that. I don't know if I can't because I said the word paw. I will.

And paw means a lot of things to me. It means my daddy. It means my dog's foot. I didn't think there was any. I have made a moonshot called paw juice. I'm a character guy. I didn't think there was anything I could hate more than you wrapping. And it turns out that it's this character. You don't know Bucky until

you know Bucky. I don't know why I hate it so much but you never presented yourself to somebody the way I do. When she is eating your ass in the bathtub are you floating up on the water and she's like? Or did you flip over I'm oh my god, who is that? Liz oh That's Liz from so high to Liz yeah, yeah, so I listen to this other Liz you live on the bonfire high Liz It's on really Liz. It's live to tape so

We can edit you out Liz have you ever gotten your butlick yeah shout out now let me ask another question shout out gizmo Bobby was telling us a story about how he got his ass eaten in the St. James Hotel But he has to do it in character and it's a Fury I do it in my bucket character that I talked to my wife in when we go away her name is Her name is Dixie Liz I remember you guys doing this back on you know what dude and this is why I drank I'm Dixie. I'm Bucky Lizard. She's Dixie lizard and Max is what?

Buck shot Bucky lizard she's dixie lizard and maxes is what buck shot buck shot Liz can you pull all of Bobby spots because of this? Liz real quick the movie heat is it a great movie or is it a good movie? I think it's a great yeah, wait wait wait finish Yes, Liz your correct Like the very end. I just don't Thank you. You know just takes too many liberty Thank you, so it's a great movie, but it can't be a great movie I'll get it and I think you're always great

What about what about that? Listen, listen Unbelievable Judd listen Liz is it a great movie a great movie is from front to back is it a great movie? You're a good movie yeah, it opens with a high Yes I don't like because you know it here's a problem you started going yes Yes, and she's like oh, I want to make Dan happy. Thank you Liz. Thank you for some finally someone this room wants to make me happy Thank you Liz I didn't

I love you Liz bye I'll call you later I said well she's a big, well, mad at me. Uh, we get to another topic that I want to talk about, which you casually dropped. The fact that you took a shit next to magic Johnson. Yeah. What airport was it airport? No.

It was a, uh, a movie premiere. What movie? Believe it or not, I believe, I'm not sure because I don't remember. I think it was. What was the movie with Al Pacino and De Niro, not heat, because we know that. Oh, the one where they fought each other? No, no, no, no, the ricochet or something like that. Some stupid.

But the last scene, it's a garbage movie. They pan down Al Pacino's dead body spoiler and that he has his lifts on. No, we're at the premiere. With with with Pacino and with the near and I believe Irwin the director of the producer of Rocky and all that guy. I mean everybody and I believe Maggi John was there. I'm looking this up on IMDB and dude they I don't know if they took it out. This was the premiere. Yeah, you're watching the original.

So they still have time to add it. Everybody laughed in the movie theater. They pan down his dead body and he has his lips on it. Pure. Righteous kill. Righteous kill. That's one of the ones. Yeah, righteous kill was a fucking bomb.

Gabbage. I remember Bill Simmons wrote a whole article about how bad it was. It was bad. He was un-like-rantly. And I went to the bathroom in the middle of it and I went and what I think I think it was there. It might not be but I'm pretty sure it was there. It was a premiere of something and he was next to me. I took pictures of his magic. Magic Johnson was next to me. How did you know is Magic Johnson? Because we both went in at the same time. Oh shit. We both would get doosin at at the same time If you're magic Johnson and you know someone else in the bathroom, you have to go to another bathroom

Yeah, but it's a came here. It was like a big event like there's only famous people there and me Did you hear him? Why were you there? Because I got a thing from like oh, yeah, I'm a thing. Yeah, your agent sometimes we'll reach out to the thing Then we'd love to have you at this. Yeah, I want you to go down here and do this Show your face. Did you hear him shitting? No, no, no. No, I didn't.

I didn't hear like a mush. I mean, you want to hear a hollow famer drop log. Oh God, no, I didn't. I didn't hear either one of them. Did you fart? No, I didn't. And mine was quiet too. Mine came out like fluffy.

Yeah, like the loaf. Yeah, it was nice. And then I was done. but I quickly took a picture of his shoes. They were nice shoes, fancy shoes. Oh yeah, it was very wealthy. And then he left before me. Oh, he got done before me.

Yeah, he was quick, he was done quick. He might have just sat to pee. Nothing wrong with that in the older years. No, not that. Because knees are probably shot. Yeah, or not. I can't play, like, uh, but you didn't have a chance to interact with them in the morning.

No, no, no, no, no. You just went in and shit. I went shit and I saw his feet and I took a picture of his feet. And then I went home and I was like, don't, guess who this is? He's like, what are you doing? 2008, 2008, that's a, that's a, that's, did you have an iPhone?

iPhone's out no seven. I think it was a flippy. So it was like, the noise and he goes, Hey, man, you taking a shit of mine? You taking a picture of my shoes? Maybe you see a match of Johnson in the next doll. Excuse me. Are you taking a picture of my feet?

I was, it was very nerve-racking to do this. I felt like a spy, like a shit spy. Oh my God. That is a great bathroom interaction. Blackwood, you've ran into an athlete in the bathroom. It wasn't an athlete. It was a pretty famous celebrity. Really? I was here. I think I was still interning for the OP and Jimmy show at time. Who's that? Sharon and Ozzy came in. Yeah.

I did an interview and then at the end of the interview, I went to the bathroom and Ozzy walked in mumbling to himself. No. And he peed right next to me. He was in character the full time. He was doing this thing. K-K, he's like, hold on. I don't know. Did he sound like he had a shaky piss? He did not. Full stream. Full stream. Strong, full stream. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Jim Norton not swimming in the bathroom. Ah. He's English dude.

They have full streams. Yeah, strong prostites. Uncut full guy-richy dick. Right out of those burrito winters. Yeah. When I was in seventh grade, my, this thing, we'd go on vacations, which really were just my mom's business trips. So she would just like wait until she was going somewhere warm like Phoenix and she'd be like,

we're going on vacation. And you're like, what does that mean? She's like, you get to swim at a hotel pool. That was it. Like, it was fucking ruled out, which I did like. That's fucking awesome. But I was in seventh grade, we went to Phoenix and we went to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Wow. And Grant Hill was there with like the pistons. And I took a piss next to Grant Hill. And I like, Do you look at it? No, there's the,

Oh, the barrier. Barrier in between. But then when I got out of the bathroom, I walked up to his table and had him sign my planet, Hollywood menu. And I definitely disturbed his meal and I feel bad about it now. Would you have looked at it

if there was no penis barrier? 1,000 percent. 1,000. I would have been like, damn, Graham Hill. I would have done this fast to look, ready? Damn. Damn. That's fast.

Wow. Wow, would have been cock. What if it wasn't? Tiny dick. What if he had Al Pacino dick? What was it called? Party size. Oh yeah, party was it called? Party size. Oh yeah, party size, dude.

Party size. I am so fascinated by this moving. Is it streaming on anything? Can you look up where you can see? It's, you have to rent on Amazon Prime. Oh, please rent it. I want that to come up on your 1000% Oh, it's starting getting into my algorithm.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, why am I watching party boys going wild? What is this? What is shave chest hairy butts? But yeah, I mean great being gay back then though in New York City You're you're a guy. Yeah, you like guys. Yeah, you're in the big leagues I'm telling you if you were gay and you moved to New York from like Iowa or whereverO.R. wherever, you're like, I'm wanna play in the Bigs. Yeah, I was the youngest of gay. Yeah, you're like, I wanna go fuck a big star.

Pacino throws himself into the community in this movie. I mean, he's got chaps on and dancing on that day. A lot of people though, though, I did research on that role for over two years, kissing and sucking, fucking and strutting. I'm telling you, I was so gay. We're in the nowadays all these 13 million fucking it's rotten. I'm telling you I was so gay Now that he's all these turns admitting that stuff from 1978 to 1981. I didn't have a female lover I only

And I was the bottom baby Just coming clean and all these days you gotta see him dancing him dancing It's the greatest thing it will ruin bichino for you. Please if you can talk Google Bichino dancing in cruising I was thinking dicks in the ass and I was sucking off man Wait, you see it but you know dancing in the game bars It's like they went almost like right from dog day afternoon to this. Yeah.

It's crazy. Here he is in the club, dude. Oh, he's set... What? Everyone just dance. Ugh. What they're playing. Yeah.

We'll tweet this out at the Bonfire SXM. Oh, thanks. Oh, back. Gems just watching. What is that? There we go. They got a bandana from him. No, he's breathing in like Amel Nytrade or something.

Yeah, he's doing poppers, dude. Poppers. No. He is going intensely rocking his elbows and doing it. You know what it looks like? Wait, go back Christine, go back about the fucking 20 seconds. You know when you're at a wedding, you know when you're at a wedding and you see a little kid, you see a little kid on a sugar high dancing and they're just doing like aggressive

It looks like Joe list. Yeah, dude. Can I tell you right now one of my favorite questions of all time was Nick Molen doing Cruising Joe list We're here for some reason Molen found himself in a pocket able to do a list And he's like what do you guys want to fuck? Yeah fucking they're already dancing you want to go dude? Shout out Nick Molen doing cruising, and cruising Joe Litz. You might have done it on our come down. It's so funny, dude. This is the best. Yeah, dude, look at this dancing.

Like a little steam engine? Damn, he's getting all these other guys horny from his aggressive dancing. Oh, yeah, dude. I'm party-size. I'm here, party-size. Look at me. You're a huge, young man. Give me another whack of that hanky.

You're missing the greasing, what they're doing on the pool table. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. Look at me Don't shoot your man. Give me another whack of that Hank. Oh, you're missing the greasing What they're doing on the pool table Bobby did you do that at the pool table? I don't like that Jacob doing the the term for it. Oh, look at greason Jacob is like you're missing the greek. I'm in the pool table He's usually right now and guys like this lock horns. It's a 60 40 split.

Whether you're going to be top or bottom. It's such a crazy movie. It's out there. It's a crazy movie. Those guys ride dry. You know what is that made? You guys ride dry? No, Lou.

Dude, this movie's nuts. It looks like a gay version of the Warriors. Yeah. Yeah. Next time you have a party. It looks like gay Warriors. We've got a party and have this playing on all the TVs. It's got no sound. Welcome to my cruising party. You guys, thanks for coming out to hang out with us while we watch cruising.

There's a gay community because I just read it well about on Wikipedia. They were so offended by the movie that they were trying to disrupt the entire movie. So a lot of it had to be overdubbed because they were sending off air horns and putting shining mirrors on the streets so that they couldn't get the shot. It was a big controversy to the movie, yeah. Wow, I didn't know that. That's damn.

I wonder if that's why no services like HBO Max or like Netflix pick it up because I like, we don't want that shit. It's weird movie, does it? It's crazy. You got to really, you got to really have nothing to do. Like you have to have a whole day of like, dude, what do you want to, I got nothing. Let's watch cruising.

Like you can't. I, it is one of those things that before today did not know and now we'll probably see pop up and everywhere or someone a reference and he goes, that's for cruising. Dude, it's never on. I mean, this is never on. Well, well clearly because now companies don't want to rock the boat with like gays or so they're like no we're we're not playing that this is like Stallone's porn this is I think Bichino bought these these copies up yeah he's just got a full room full of the blue rays of cruising. Yeah, there's no lights in this movie Every time I really said I had to buy up every copy him just frantically going to every video store

Yeah, cruising. I got a buy it. I got a buy all these Daddy's fucking wild. It's wild. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Welcome back to the bonfire series XM faction talk 103. I'm Dan Soder Bobby Kelly sitting in big J. Ocarsten in Los Angeles full cruise here though Can I say something about Pacino because I he might be my favorite actor? He gets a bad rap because from like 88 till like early 2000s that was his bad period of what I feel is overacting well he didn't heat 95 he said well I'm sorry no no he had a few gems in between and I do

want to want to be terrible terrible but he has had such a renaissance in like the last 15 years some of his best work what what what beautiful? What like what what? Yeah, thank you. What that? What is that even the Irishman a lot of the HBO shows? HBO dead the Kavorkian Yeah, you know, no, watch. Do you hunter once upon a time in America hunters hunters? He's great in that. He's a character actor. Pacino goes for a character. He'll do accents.

He totally transformed. He'll do accents. He totally transformed. He switched me. You know what Jacob? You got me. I'll give you a list of the stuff he's done the last 10 years. You'll have a lot ton of respect for him. He has done acting in the last 10 years. Where? He house. I mean, dude, he's right. He's right. Paterno. Dude, he's right. Yeah, it's great. He's great in it. I forgot that he played paterno. Dude, he's right. He's right. paterno dude He's right. Yeah, it's great. He's great in it. I forgot that he played paterno dude. He's right. He's right.

The patino's great. Phil Spector. But dude, he's right again. Alright Bobby. I don't like how easily swamable you are. I am the most swamable guy. It's on me as crazy. He's swaying me the other way.

Watch how easy I sway the other way. Is Deniro even close to patino? Deniro states. I love patino but Denero stays in his lane. He doesn't do accents. He knows what he's great at and he's the best at it, but Danero will not try what Pacino does. When you're acting?

When you saw him in the Irishman. It's good, man. Thank you. Yeah, when you see him in the Irishman, I thought that was so moving, what he did is, why am I blanking on the hoffa? as Jimmy hoffa, a total transformation.

You know what? You know what? I'm gonna tell you something. Now hold on real quick, I'm gonna tell you something that's gonna give you a little credit. Beautiful actor. The Irishman I thought was all right. Maybe I wasn't watching close enough.

Movies too much. The movie was very long. But he's great in it. I would say there was a similarity that I found of him in the Irishman to him in Donnie Brasco, where there's like this pit of this guy that you kind of pity in a weird way that you don't like. I don't know, Jacob. I think I'm I think I'm starting to listen to your theory. And Jacob's Pacino theory. Jacob's Pacino theory is out of the money. Courage courageous actors because he'll go for yes

Yes with this because he goes all out and when he misses he misses big But when he hits you think he was like a beautiful thing Do you think you thought cruising was a success? Do you think he was like? Well, if you're using cruising? You know I can dance with a best of them You are gonna buy him as an undercover cop who gets a little carried away when you see this movie does me i'm just gonna ask you and i notice a spoiler and i'm gonna watch the movie i will eventually watch the movie when i don't have anything to do is rot as bobby said the inside does he fuck dudes in the movie

the the the last toilet no i'm not gonna give it up it well do they reveal if he does or does not? I can say this. The last scene on the movie, he's looking into the mirror and you realize he might have embraced the community a little too much because it you start hearing the music in the background from the bar as he's just gazing in the mirror and it trails off. That's how it ends. That's how it ends. That's how it ends.

That's how it ends. So it's him reflecting on getting boofed. Dude, let's suppose we, as an undertone, you're not supposed to sniff something. Yeah. Somebody gives you out of their back pocket. Or just huff a rag. You know, it's supposed to huff a rag

and then take your shirt off, yeah. He's like, and then just jiggle aggressively. Turn it into a little gay train That's like catching your dad jerking off Stop in from dancing. Yeah, yeah, dude. I love I love finding out about this. It's bad It's a random movie that I want to watch you see in Central Park is so fun. Yeah, you ever get, yeah, dude, I love- I love- I love finding out about this. It's bad. I'm a random movie that I want to watch now. The scene in Central Park is so fun.

Oh, that was- Maybe I'll come over. When Jay's home, maybe I'll come over and we'll watch this and then we can all come together and do a recap. While we all go over and watch it and jerk each other off. Lemon party. Yeah.

I'll suck you. I'm a bear of the jerk off. Buddy. Who made body sick? I'll suck you. I'm a bear of the jerk off. Who made body sick? I'll wear that outfit. Oh my God, dude. You're in a nice little fucking sheep. Some wings. Yeah. A little wing. I put some turkey grease on these lips. Oh. Can I throw another great Pacino performance? I mean, two years suck it. I'm dude. What is that I mean, the Insider Russell Crowe.

Dude, why does that movie is hard to find? The Insider Russell Crowe. Great movie. You know that movie is very hard to find? Really? Yeah, I tried to buy it on DVD back then. So it was cruising. Yeah, for real.

No, but the Insider because tobacco companies were like fucking destroy that movie. Because it was all about how the tobacco companies wereicit in like knowing that it was given everyone cancer. Yeah, and then now it's like hard to find But you can buy it on Apple TV. That's cool. I Remember trying to buy it on DVD. It was very fucking hard to find. Yeah, De Niro. This is that movie was his downfall all the way to heat He was in 95, that was a 99. He learned your shit. He learned your shit for you.

He was the movie where you before you come at heat. He was the movie that Al Pacino everyone went, Hey, man, what, what's wrong with Al? No. It was. It was. It is. It is. It's not that's the movie where he came in. What did you think of any given Sunday?

I see I watched the movie because it's funny to me. Not because it's a good movie. Yeah. Not a good movie. Any good. I love the performance. It's is that that's that's all yelling a lot. Oh, do you do you Clendary Glen Ross? We do we do comedy's a game of inches. It's great. We make fun of that. We make fun of the speech at the end Yeah, I mean Luneau's Lou even has it as a drop like Luneau's how to get oh, I thought you had it as a drop I didn't know that you he always looks it up. It's speeches hilarious hilarious. It's yeah, it's terrible. I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I'm too broke.

Look at love that. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. And then I like when Jamie Foxx does the Al Pacino version of his face. You're going on the street and take a left and in the morning. Yeah, Namo, Namo, good line from heat. Exactly. Hey man, here comes the heat. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, he goes. Exactly. Exactly. I proved my point. Case closed. He fucking. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. There's not even a, there's not even a good line. Yes, there is. What? I just don't remember because it's so thick with resin. That's not true. Yes there is. What? I just don't remember because my brain is... Because it's suffix with resin. That's not true.

It is true. It was a good line from a godfather. I can't, Bobby. I can't call. I met him on offer, he can't refuse. Bang, right out. That's hack. I mean hack, it's all aligned.

Christine knows that she hasn't even seen the movie. What does that mean? I come to you on the day of your... No, Kalyon. I come to you on the day of the... No, you're just doing fucked up mouth. What? He had a fucked up mouth. His tongue was too big for his mouth Bobby this conversation is very things we are in hell All right, I can't get out of this conversation. I can't do it for you

I'm too old the show's almost done. Is it we have any but taking commercial breaks? Oh my god, and we're supposed to We got people buy and advertising. They don't even taken commercial breaks. And we're supposed to. We got people by and advertising. They don't even know what they're gonna do. And I'm gonna tell you right now. Radio is a game of minutes. And those minutes, I can't do the rest of it. I can fucking put that song, I think on my iPad. I think I can put that on my iTunes

and it would make me want to run through a wall. Is it just called the Pachino speech? Yeah, you just look up any given Sunday Pachino speech song. Katie, I want pizza. And I know we've been eating healthy all week. I can't do it for you. Trust me, I'd put ranch on everything if I could. But I'm getting big.

I'm growing about it. But I'm gonna have pizza in between both of us. Um, are we gonna, how are we there? Damn, dude. We're done? Yeah, on a fun episode. Wow, he, how is, how is beautiful? How are we 15 minutes short? We can keep going.

I thought we had to do 15. Are we party science? We have to do 15, do you have four parties? Are we party science? Are we do 15. Are we party size? We have to do 15, dude. We're party size. Are we party size? 15 more? We could do six more minutes. Damn. We're party size.

We're party size. Six minutes ain't shit. Six minutes, dude. I can do plugs for bigjcomedy.com. You can go see him right now. He's going to be coming to Nashville. He's going to be going to, he's going to be, he's in LA all this week.

Oh, the comedy store. But that's, we'll do that on Monday. Yeah. We plug that show on Monday. But you know what, he is gonna be a natural and he's gonna be in St. Louis. Big J comedy, he's just fucking slinging it around. And then go to luicicay.com and buy a Robert Kelly's

kill box. And go to my website. Go to Robert Kelly Live.com. He comes to me live. Dude, Bobby is, as he's once told me when I was his opener. A hammer. Bobby fucking murders.

Go to Robert Kelly Live.com. DanSotter.com. Get tickets to see me at the Rio Theater in Vancouver. I'm gonna be there as part of the JFL Vancouver. I'll be there February 24th and February 25th. Tickets at DanSotter.com. And then I'll see you soon Salt Lake City Toronto and Buffalo all those at danstoder.com And of course at the bonfire SXM on Twitter and bonfire. I mean Instagram. I was distracted by Bobby

What are you doing there guy? Hi, I have the my I have the headphone cord in my hand and a little bit of it hanging out Yeah, and I'm swinging it around and it's like a limp big dick in my hand. Oh, look at that dude, you're in the cruising. You're in the cruising, what do you do, Jacob? What do you do, Jacob? I'm taking something from my... What, oh. Cradum.

You're taking cradum? What is that even? Cradum is a sponsor of Skankfest, so Jacob's in thick with them now. Cratum. It's cratum, it's not cratum. It's cratum. He said cratum, cratum.

How do you say? I think I say cratum. Is it cratum or cratum? I think you said cratum. I thought he said cratum. You all hooked on that shit? I take it a once in a while. I'm not like, Justin takes like 80 a day.

It's crazy, I don't know. Wait, really? He takes too much. We're gonna have to have an intervention for Justin on Cratum. What is Crat, Crat, Cratum? Cratum? How would you explain it, Jacob? What is it? There's a whole documentary on it on Netflix. I was totally cool taking this. It's, I think it's a plant or a leaf. But you watch the documentary and you're still cool taking it? Yeah, because it was a pro-crate of a Muslim. Oh, it's a pro-crate of a Muslim.

It was trying to tell you that it was actually very beneficial and people have been taking it for a century. They always do that. They know it's actually, if you go to Central America, you notice that people have been chewing on this root for, do you know Columbus? This is how he survived the quest over. When he came over was it was actually through

Crater and they selling you on some bullshit. Jesus, that's why he could take the crown of thorns. It didn't cry. That's why I could take the punishment. Yeah How you remember on fucking Monday when sagalos in and you guys battle wrapped? Yeah, I guess smoked I didn't get smoked. you think you'll smoke did you think Terminator timeline do you think you're gonna smoke sag a little you back around dude You know you you know you she on our breaking between episodes because obviously recording this on on it on a Monday We're recording on a Monday. It's carrying on Thursday. Oh, do you think we could write you lines or we could steal lines Yeah from other battle rap and then we could put it together so that all Bobby would have to do is Bring up the monitor So I think we could we could fix it fix it. Let's fix it

But I don't need it because I can breathe it No, I bring it up and you don't believe it, but I'm here. I'm bringing up my mic. You don't know It is I got I got black flu over here. White flu over there. Jacob's in my hair. Even though I have none. I bring it up and that's why I don't need a gun. Because I got words that shoot you in the chest. Make you molest.

Bring up a girl like Kristaliy Est. But that's why I'm here now. That's why you used to call me a cow. But I'm skinny and I'm getting rich. That's why I'm gonna fuck your bitch's why you used to call me a cow, but I'm skinny and I'm getting rich That's why I'm gonna fuck your bitch eat a meatball Basins in them and that's why I'm gonna tune out of my ism I'm gonna start calling you King raisin dude. That's your rap name. I mean come on, dude

You're king out your king right your king raisin. I couldn't even stop that Lou hit the music and I took over I wanted it to stop immediately Christine Christine, you had a word of advice of Bobby to stop doing that? No, I just, the raisin meatballs really made me gag again when he brought it up. Like, that just sounds like one of the grossest. And I have a pasta dish with sausage with raisins that I love, but in the meatballs.

Falling to think the one that made me gag was the meatball, oh, I heard the raisin falling out. I mean, I want to taste your cooking. Oh, wow, that almost made, that almost made Monday crazy awkward. Christina, I want to taste you. I have like four dishes in there on the video. Okay.

Christina, I really want to get in there and taste you. And then on Monday, I'm gonna be like, hey, Jay, how was Los Angeles? What the fuck am I, what's up, what's up, what's up? What's going on in the Thursday episode? I don't know. How does Shoggy-Man, a peaceful weekend, had a very peaceful weekend.

I watched cruising. Hey, that's super bowl, that was pretty crazy, all right. Yeah. Are you guys, you guys are, oh yeah, it's time to go Super Bowl party at the Oakerson Evans Household. Yes, low key. Hope it's fun.

Hope it's fun. I won't cast my bill. Okay. Okay. So some low keys means you guys can't come. And let's hope the Eagles win. Or people are going to be bummed out. I know that because I have a house and when you're like, dude, low key, that means you ain't coming. Yeah.

It's also funny watching Christine's face when she said that because she really is like and let's just hope to God those Eagles win because I'm not in it for a Sunday night if the chiefs pull it off. That's gonna be a tough Monday. I love you guys campers. We love you at Robert Kelly live dot com big J comedy dot com dance order dot com at the Bonfire SXM on Instagram and Twitter. We will see you back with Jay on Monday. Have a lovely weekend. Goodbye. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. That was just a portion, a tiny sliver, a morsel of the entire show. You want the whole thing? Go to seri seriesxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer that is tremendous. It's so good. It's going to make your family upset with you. We're going to lose money

over here. And you can go to bigjcomedy.com and dancoder.com for our standup dates.