The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Cry At Fireworks

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

Bobby delivers a patriotic speech about why he loves July 4th. Jay reviews Will Smith's new song while Christine and DJ Lou bicker. Terrence Howard is back on Rogan with a mathematician so Jay explains basic math to the group. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

Freedom is like being warm. Huh. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, I know you do right-wing Bobby Love it so much. I do I fucking love man. That's why the full vote for Trump in three states last I didn't vote for Trump at all You got bullied by a black guy. I'm gonna vote for Michelle exactly what these libtards want to do Dude have a black guy bully right out of voting for the man you want in the office I'm gonna I I'm gonna have some I'm so excited about tomorrow Being up in the woods of New Hampshire at a mountain range. It's the presidential mountain range by the way, up in New Hampshire.

Mount Washington, Mount Jefferson, all surrounding us. Don't wander off or you're gonna get fucking banjo music raped. No, not up there. Maybe. No. That's what everybody says till it raped. No. Not up there. Maybe. That's what everybody says until it happens. You know, you read one of those documentaries? This was a place where no one even locked their doors at night. No, that's Virginia. No one ever locked their doors here.

Oh, I can't wait. Tomorrow night on the lawn. Around 9 o'clock the fireworks go off. Turn it up, Lou, while he tells us. Oh. Probably get a hot dog. I'm going to have a flag. Maybe American flags. Oh, fucking fireworks.

The first one goes up in the air. People go, oh. Second one goes up. Bang. We're all looking up at the sky. And then they start exploding and then the grand finale And everybody's buddy Ah, and then at the end. Whoo

You hear the distant. Whoo Yeah And everybody looks around you can smell the smoke Hmm can't wait. We're gonna gonna order takeout and look from our window. Dude, I cry at fireworks. I love it. Which is hilarious. It's not hilarious.

I may not tell me that fully until we got on the air because I have to know. Tears. Yeah, you know, it happened in Boston. They have great fireworks. The Boston Pops, right over on the water there. And every year they have the Boston Pops.

When I grew up, it's amazing. And you know, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Yeah, there it is right there. Look at this. And I went by myself one year because I had no girlfriend. We had broken up. Nobody wanted to go and I went to Boston by myself. And I went over to the the Esplanade they call it the Esplanade. And you could hear the music and I could see it. I climbed on top of a bathroom. And I actually met Dickey from the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. Was just hanging out in a stoop. And I actually met Dicky from the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. Nice. He was just hanging out in a stoop.

And I wound up talking to him for a minute and we went over to the fireworks. Together? No, he blew me off as soon as we got over there. He just walked away. Like I was a nobody, but I thought we were going to enjoy them together. Look at that. Right here. Turn it up! Da da da da. Fucking America. All of us together as one. The greatest country in the world

freedom democracy freedom of speech freedom of religion Free to love who you want To be who you are Hand in hand black white brown Paco gay straight Paco! Gay straight! Girl guys, guy girls! Girl guys, he, she, thems!

We're all together! Woo! Look at that! All those fireworks and instruments brought to you by China. America boy! Dude, I was looking up, I started crying, I was so emotionally affected by fireworks and music does something to me fireworks get you huh? fireworks and music just the music I like fireworks but this is the most you're gonna get on me once in a while

oh nice that's a cool one that was a cool one oh look at that and then I'll miss a few because I'm gonna go to the person next to me and go, how do you think they are able to figure out it's gonna make that shape when it comes out? I think I'm gonna get lost in that a little bit. I would tell you, shh.

And then I look back up and I go, no, that's what I'm saying right there, like that one. How do they know it's gonna be a heart when it comes out? It's just an explosion, right? I will never see fireworks with you, if that's the case. Huh? I don't want to be interrupted. Well, I also play funny music.

I don't want, I want that music. No, no, this is what I do. want to be interrupted by funny music. I don't want I want that music No, no, this is what I do watch Christine show fireworks explosion. Luke you play Fuck the pain away by peaches Oh, shut up boss Look at that You're not even from here stop owning New York, you're not from here That's a look at that. That New York has better fireworks than where I'm from. They don't- but they don't have music.

Now it does though. They have the Boston Pops playing while the fireworks going off. Go to work, fireworks. Where are you hearing them though? Right there. Yeah, but if you're like a hundred feet from there, you can't hear them. Yes you can. America!

Uh. America. Yeah, but if you're like a hundred feet from there you can't hear them. Yes, you can America America I'd walk away from you Right you're ruining it. Wow. I hate it God Who look at it go? Explosions in the air right on time big No, my titties like you want it. Me calling me out. Not what America's about yet.

You're ruining what this holiday's about. SMD. Can you try now, Me So Horny by 2 Life Crew? No, I don't want, stop ruining my fucking holiday. Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, my holidays. Yeah, I'm making it better this is not better try like this knocked on the door not having an America that night had in store I'm like a dog in heat a freak with that warning I have an appetite for sex Because me so honk me It does kind of go with these fireworks turn it up watch I

Think I'm gonna turn to me. I'm I think frost kid ice is the one who's really gonna bring it home for you Get the next verse little Girls always ask me why I fuck so much. I said what's wrong baby girl with busting a nut Much I said what's wrong baby girl with busting a nut And you shouldn't be mad I won't tell your mama if you don't tell your dad I know he'll be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted won't your mama be so mad if she knew I got that ass I'm a freaking heat this says America probably more than anything You know what? I like this better Put your lips on my dick and suck my asshole to I'm a freaking heat that other music maybe sad

Yeah, they're not gonna cry in front of your boy You can't cry in front of him after you just got beat up by a guy in front of him a few days I did not get fucking beat up emotionally. He I did not and I talked to Alan and he told me I did not get fucking beat up. I did not. And I talked to Alan and he told me I did the right thing. If you fucked and deserted, give me the fireworks. I love this is your talent. I'm knowing all the girls and make them cry. I love this is your talent Me she's gonna do this Joe if you don't mind I'm just gonna sit here and drink beers and sing the entire first half of as nasty as they want

To be by firework in the two-lap group to fireworks Fireworks of the shit suck it to me you love fireworks too I love the fourth I hate I don't understand people that don't like the fourth of July fireworks I know me too fireworks is so amazing fun it's such a it's always a fun holiday. It's a great barbecue holiday. Ah the best it's the one of the best holidays Because there's no This fight you're just waiting for that fireworks it goes off First you enjoy it and then you've done it and you hang out no presents no getting gifts We're no way fucking everybody has a different party. I've been made. I make a mean flag cake

You make a what? A mean flag cake? Oh, you said flag? I bet you make a mean one of those, too. You live with a mean flag. I'm sorry, it's kind of ignoring Fourth of July tomorrow, I guess. Why? How can you ignore this? We're going swimming and then we're going to watch the fireworks. That's got ignoring 4th of July tomorrow. I guess why how can you ignore this is going swimming and then we're gonna watch the fireworks That's exactly what we should do. Are you gonna watch the fireworks? It's a barbecue holiday

Are you gonna watch it on TV? You're gonna go no, we're gonna go. Oh go Yeah, we're gonna go to the park and watch into the park with dogs. Great. Yeah, I love it cuz it's free You just walk anywhere and any town in America. There's gonna be some type of fireworks going on I just had a private fireworks show in the Lake of the Ozarks, so this'll be fine, though. This will be fine, though. Yeah, what was the last one that went off? Was it Big B?

Yeah, when I realize this is for everybody and not just me and a few other people, I'm gonna probably tell Kristina to go back to the house. Just come up when you're done. I'm gonna put headphones on, listen to my own music. You can't play me. So horny at the park It's one thing about getting a house that I like I would love to host fourth of July again Because I it was just so fun to like invite everybody and hosted at our house now Can't host a party now

what? but it's great verzy has a sick party at his house and he goes and buys around $3,000 worth of fireworks but I don't like those parties because I don't like people who buy real fireworks that should be done by like a firework engineer and I got two guineas and a dog fucking with a big lighter that should be done by like a firework engineer. And I got two guineas and a dog fucking with a big lighter.

And it's just coming down on the neighbor's roof. What's his name? Jean-Pierre Paul, right? Is that his name? Jean-Pierre Paul? The guy who fucking, yeah, the player for the, Yeah, it's the worst. The player for the Giants.

For the rest of his career, he's done, he might still be playing. He's done, but for the rest of his career, he played in a huge, he just had like a platform on his thing and he just had his hand wrapped, but he blew all of his fingers off. He still played football, but he blew his fingers off just 4th of July fucking around with fireworks.

We were at Verzi's house and I was in panic mode because you just saw his shadow running over to a big bomb, lighting it, and then doesn't like and then he lights it again And then he runs as fast as you can and then it just shoots up in the air and Sprinkles down on everybody's house and on bushes, and I'm just like we're gonna die like this is not Paul Verzee shouldn't be lighting Fucking real fireworks off and he goes to like Pennsylvania to get is like dude I got that I got fucking at that the way to you see this fucking let the grand

finale you shouldn't have a grand finale Paul you live in the suburbs there's horses around you buddy I'm about to send you something that wait do me a favor go to every sub go to Lisa Ann's Instagram please I I should bobby my cake first, cause I pulled it up. Oh wow, I love that. What kind of cake is underneath? Is that whipped cream? It's whipped cream, yeah, cool whip. What's in it? Strawberries? Well it's strawberries and blueberries and I chopped that up in the middle and put it with whipped cream so it has a nice layer in the middle of the cake. So it's like healthy too. I like that.

And then it's decorated. I want one. I used to get the cake from this place Moishas down in the village that closed. Moishas? Moishas? Moishas, yeah. From I used to get the cake from this place moist is down the village that closed moist is moist is moist is yeah This really is it was a Jewish bakery Should we say you have to be Jewish to say that right? wishes I Want one of those will you make me one of those? I'd love to make one. Will you make me one once a week? Good on this Paul Verzee. Oh god. Go down and see Paul Verzi.

Dude, Soder caught this. What is it? This is so goddamn funny. Is this her pop? Yeah, there's Paul. Now wait, don't play it just yet. Is she on? Is she still doing the show here?

Yes. Wait, what's the whole setup here? I'm going to give it to you. Oh, sorry. So Paul's... He's a professional broadcaster. Eight years, going on nine. Back off, Jacob. So Paul's a professional broadcaster. Paul's explained. Eight years, going on nine.

Back off, Jacob. Over nine now. We're doing way better on Contacts, by the way. Go ahead, Jake. Paul, I guess, was on Lisa Ann's podcast, and he's talking to her. Another person that doesn't have the virus. I mean, we are fucking pussies. We haven't told somebody to shut up on the show ever.

We're just like, okay, you talk. I thought with Lisa, I was a little, I made jokes about her kind of going on and on. But Paul is telling us something. I was just making a joke about that. Is that what that was happening? Yeah, that was happening. I don't know what.

Everything's weird in here. It's because you don't like America. Paul's on Lisa's podcast and he's telling a story about, he's basically kind of getting into one of his jokes. And he's saying like, this is not a bad Paul clip. This is a hilarious. I'm gonna say this about Paul right now. Okay, we're through the pandemic.

Paul's a professional comedian. Does a podcast from his house. And the fact that he still has a camera set up, like a fucking... That's terrible, yeah, that's bad. Like some middle-aged dad that sells windows. The fact that, I mean, what the fuck? I'm so mad that he doesn't, he's still, look at that.

What the fuck? Get a camera. No one knows. Everybody can fucking look good on Zoom. This made me, when Dan caught this and showed it to me, this made me less. Lighting lens, here. So hard.

Sorry. So he's telling, I guess something about one of his bits, this is what you're looking for and we're gonna put, can we put this out on socials? Why? To watch this? I think I have it cut, if we can. But, so he's talking about a joke about

where he's not gonna run a 5K for cancer. He's like, I'll give them money. I don't want to run the 5k. You know, I'm not going to do the thing. And then she starts to laugh at like the bit and her face goes up to laugh. And then he goes, and then he goes, you know, my mom's got stage four cancer and she goes, I'm doing it no justice. Watch it and then we'll put it out there. But everyone listening, you'll hear the laugh from everybody. This is so

Hopping on one topic for too long where somebody who didn't like that topic was Stop one second. I have to get ready to listen to this She enunciates to one word Mm-hmm Alright, right, go ahead. I can do it. Her mouth muscles are fantastic. One person with one word has to make it. Oh, yeah.

Do what you need to do. Yeah. Her mouth and pussy. Her pussy can actually queef notes if you give them the extra notes, because, hey, F major. Like a kazoo. How did you balance that and decide that you could you could segment things out, keep everybody comfortable laughing and know that you're not offending anybody you're touching lightly

on some things that might. Wow, man. That's so cool. You said that. I fucking hate him. I want to call him right now and throw something at his face. I mean, I fucking Paul, I love him. You gotta you gotta give it up. Because that was, wow, he's a good actor. I mean, can I just hear that one? talk about with me and you know, I never want to alienate people, especially my crowd. It doesn't make sense.

So, you know, one of the best things that ever happened to like an audience ever said to me was I was performing at the punchline in Atlanta, Georgia, and I was touching on Trump and I was touching on Biden. Wait, I'm going to send you, Kristi, I'm going to text you. This is not the clip. I don't know if this is the clip. The thing I have is know if is the clip that I had the thing I was very very concise Well an audience has never in unison said something to a comic never while you're performing. Hey Paul really quick

We saw I want to let you know Paul is fucking you know in his head he was like what? God she's in shape though, man. I do love that muscly fucking chicks. She's gorgeous. I like a shredded girl. Christine, you should have her text it to you. This is, oh yeah, at least Ann's hot, undeniably. Jacob, would you be with her?

No. Yeah, I would. You would? I mean, wait, you mean like, you have to- Be with her. Be with her, Jacob. One time, or we're dating? No mean like... Be with her. Be with her, Jacob. No, Jacob, be with her.

I sat for that guest, she was a guest. Jacob, you and her on a beach. But would you be with her? You go away a couple times a year. You get to show everybody that fucking bonkers body. You hold the little dog on the plane. Fuck. But you have to...

She is who she is. Yeah. But you get to wake up every morning naked. Yeah. She gets up out of bed first and walks with that fucking retardedly great ass to the bathroom. Yeah. And she immediately starts talking. I guess I go through with it. Yeah you do. Yeah I go through with it.

Of course. Yeah. I don't know why I delayed. I'm really proud of you dude. I would puncture both in my ear. No I would do that first and then go on vacation so I didn't hear anything. I would talk and... what happened to you? I can't hear no more because I fucking blew out both of my eardrums. How'd you do that? I did it intentionally when we started dating. Here you go. Send you a check. My mother, my mother has stage four cancer.

So it's like, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. Start it over again. Fucking mercy. I'm not running a 5K. I'll send you a check. My mother has stage 4 cancer.

So it's like, it's not for me, it's about the lab. Dude, that's so fucking funny. Oh no. It was such a fucking great find. Play it again. Play it again. It does not get fine. Please put that out. It'll be on all of our socials, everybody. Such a fucking great find Please put that out be on all our socials everybody that's fucking great Play one more you'll give it to me one more again

Mmm, I don't mind looking at that I'll send you a check my mother my mother has stage four cancer. So it's like, it's not, it's not. It's not about the lab. It's. Oh, that's terrible. Please. That's like doing morning TV, where you have to do, the club sends you in the morning,

and you have them, and then you say... They're wrong, you go a little too far. You go a little too far, and they're like, oh, all right, well, weather with Gary. Yeah, he goes, oh, thank you guys. He goes, hey, I'm glad you guys had the Girl Scouts on with their cookies before I came on, because I'm actually allowed to be 100 yards from them.

Oh. What? He'll be at the Funny Bone. No, I'm kidding, yeah. Okay, I guess you're gonna hear things like that funny bone Just go back to this cuz I did find it on tik-tok I've searched on grammy.com Paramount Plus for some reason how long this video has been pulled. This is seven minutes This is the full performance of the brand new funk part. What is this brand? This was when he came out

To do the 50 years of hip-hop after Chris Rock shit, and I was like he came out to do the 50 years of hip hop after Chris Rock shit and I was like he's back this was awesome this performance. Hey what's up I'm BK Burglar Bob Kelly aka the Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson I only have one aka I'm a cowboy. Look if you love love the bonfire, which you know you do you this is just half of the show That's right. There's the podcast version everybody So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show

You go to all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend but most importantly this show yeah this show just go to the show do something resembling anything this And he's laughing about the beatboxers grooving and screaming. He's growling. And the microphone up is flowing. Fresh rhymes up a show. And the people say, yo, keep going. So I continue to rock. Watch out, boys, on the beatbox. Special assistant from my homeboy, Ready Rock. People fight just to get up front. For a bird-job, you and I, we call the brand new punk.

That's so good. Such a good band. How long ago was that? A year. Last year. Wow. It's fucking amazing. It was after the slap.

He came out and he did this performance and I was like, I love Will Smith. I don't give a fuck that he hit Chris Rock. He would have slapped Chris Rock. I enjoy that performance more than anything Chris Rock's ever done. So good. If I was there, I would have been like, dude, bring him out again, slap him again, dude, and come over here, Chris Rock, get the brand new punk! This is like before my time.

I was a, I came in on Big Willie style. Right here. I mean, he killed it. I'll tell you what this, I like Will Smith and I like all his songs. That new song was Butthole. But here's the thing, he wrote that shit in some fucking stupid... He wrote a song, and I bet that song would be better on, like, if you heard it produced, not live. Sure.

Rap is hard live. You know what I mean? This is all live. It's a shitty song. That was great. But I'm saying, if you heard that song, I'm just trying to stick up for him now. Why? It's okay. Shitty, loser, I mean, it's like hope and change, I don't know. Because he's writing a song from that bullshit, you know, where he's okay. It's shitty, loser, I mean, it's like hope and change, I don't know. Because he's writing a song from that bullshit, you know where he's at. That sucks when rappers-

Yeah, you're going through something, he goes, what are you going through now? Do your fucking 50 something and you're a bazillionaire. Yeah, I don't want to hear it. Dump that bald guy and move on. That would have been a bread of rap. Take your girl, son, and fucking start over and teach him to wear some pants, god damn it. That was great. I want to see the Terrence Howard thing before we have to go. Son and fucking start over and teach me to wear some pants god damn it

That was I want to see the Terrence Howard thing before we have to go hmm. I know we're running buddy You know what mm-hmm play it hell Yeah play it is not a rabbit and jumpin and beeping and bopping and booping and skipping and skipping and flopping and dooping and doing and Something and over there and the pippin to bopping and poopingopin'. As a 53 year old white dude from Boston, that got me. That was groovin'. It fuckin' got me. When I watched that performance, I was ear to ear.

Yeah. I was like, ah, he's doin' it. Yeah. And he still did the songs that I don't really care about, like Miami and all that shit. What's the one, Summertime? I like that one. Or Gettin' Jiggy with It, I don't care about.

I don't mind Jiggy with It. I like all his shit, I don't mind it. I like that one. Or getting jiggy with it, I don't care about. I don't mind jiggy with it. I like all his shit. I like that. Like Charlie Mack first had to live. That was like... He was Philly, so I mean we all knew. That's like the four Fresh Prince of L.A., right? It's all in he's a DJ, I'm the rapper. They were the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff.

But it was before the show. Yes, TV show? Oh yeah, no, he was still like local. He still lived locally. That was good. He used to hang out at the bowling alley where my mother met my father, where my mother spread herself open for a pin setter. A job that was replaced shortly thereafter by a machine. Jay, if it helps, all jobs are gonna be replaced by machine.

Yeah, but not two days later with a machine that other bowling alleys already had. It's crazy your dad had that job that's such an old tiny job set up ten pins I'm a member of a another cigar lounge in Tarrytown called the Lyceum Boys Club Weird name Men were men, and they hung out with boys. What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, YMCA. Hey, you know what, Bobby? The Philosophers did it, so. But they have a bowling alley in the place. But you have to have a pin center, because it's an old school. They have an old gym, like back in the day gym. So a man has to go down and do it?

Well, you do it now. There's not a man, but if you play. So in the day Jim man has to go down and do it Well, you do it now There's not a man, but if you play you ball and you have to go down and sell the pins and fuck that yeah It's I mean, it's stupid. It's really stupid But is it a bump a bowling like a real with gutters and everything real bowling alley three lanes And you have to go down if someone has to stay down there and set the pins back up That's it. That's I Don't know what to say. That's crazy. Yeah well I mean maybe if your father worked there he wouldn't have been replaced at the Lyceum Boys Club. He replaced me after shortly. So this is

Terrence Howard and Eric Weinstein. Yeah I mean this guy is. Excuse me Christine can you prove that the things Terrence Howard says aren't real? I know but I mean this guy is excuse me Christine. Can you prove that the things Terrence Howard says aren't real? I know but maybe this guy's doing it maybe relax. I Would like to see how far you could get through this There's so many words. I don't know. Let me tell you something about Terrence Howard, too No, this is worse. This gets what this gets worse and the fact that Rogan says absolutely nothing During this whole thing, he just, I mean, of course, but this is wild.

Guys, what's the square root of three? You know what a camora is? As an example of the one times one, assume that Terrence doesn't have a big problem with addition, because addition doesn't have the division by zero prime I was racist if you take any two numbers a and b two real numbers, right? Make them positive and take the natural logs of those two numbers. I'm already and add those together

Then you take the exponent of that so we haven't done a times operation at all the exponent of that so we haven't done a times operation at all right the exponential J L in a time plus L in a B but that is equals L on the a to a times B in other words addition and multiplication are what we would say is isomorphic ordinary person would say exactly the same thing no you guys so in other words if you don't allow me multiplication, but you would allow me, because you like waves, so with waves you need exponentials. I like unison.

Natural logarithms. A logarithm? There's no way of changing the law of multiplication. That's what I said last time. And accepting the law of addition, because they're the same system. Multiplication should initially started as exaggerated shut up you fucking idiot Yeah, I fucking bitch

Looked at natural log of a number and I'm like, okay. Well, it doesn't make more sense Says in e7 in x3 e E in a e7 in this guy went to prison he was 7 for sure It's in e to the 7th what he raised to I n x to the third e I n eighth power e to the seventh power I am This is I can't We only have 15 minutes left so I can't get this all in now

I can't get this all in to you guys right now. You know what? F-U-C-K-Y-O-U. To the third power. To the third power, you piece of shit. I'm mixing with I go take a math class. This made me want to fucking kill myself. Actually smart people. I am as dumb as they say I am. I'm like, I'm alright at math, but not great.

You've read the articles, you've heard the podcast. It's all true. You've been to Reddit. Bob's dumb I agree if the world could just agree that I'm dumb and you can't get mad at anything I say you go he's dumb yeah I go yeah oh yeah I was just be be a dog wait till he wait till he gets to the there's a couple other words that he there's some explosion there's explosion in math I don't understand that either. What is log natural of 10? 2.302585, value of log one to 10 for log base e.

To what power? Christine, Christine, you sound dumb saying it. I know. You're reading it. Third-floor dude seven times this girl. And I got to live with that. I am a genius. I got to live with that.

Well, Christine talks usually, if my eyes just roll back and in my brain you just see a bunch of square root signs and formulas crossing over back and forth. And I was like, yes. And I'm like, what'd you say? Oh yeah, Taco Bell I guess. And I'm right back to like F parenthesis seven. Look down, you have a frying pan in your hand.

What have I done? I'm a... Jay's dumb too. I hitched my wagon to Christine. That's dumb. I hitched my wagon to you. This is a wagon train of stupid. Paco, you wanted to come to this.

The whole point of it. The precise statement would be that the positive real numbers. Wait, pause it Christine, it's on the screen, you can just explain it all probably. CA0 plus 2HC. Christine, please, I can't read the little hexagons if you're gonna keep talking. These little hexagons are... OXYGEN. Oh, this says actually this is just stock footage. The answer to this formula is oxygen. But this isn't a math problem. The person who

made the video threw this up as like a basic thing But that's oxygen like a trick. It's a trick. Yeah, it's pretty much. How do you like those apples? Actually, it's here at the end of all this it just says time zero so it's zero With the identity element being much multiplicative identity Being one our isomorphic what is the total real numbers that means hang on pause it that means the same as good the additive identity being zero what and the natural logarithm and exponential are group homomorphism do tell the connect with one being the others's inverse. He's like, you call me gay, motherfucker? Terrence Howard, you call me a homomorph?

Y'all a homomorph. The drinking water's making the fish gay. They homomorphin'? You look over, Joe's just passed out. By the principle of explosion, the reason that people are in part that freak out about your stuff is That we have a vulnerability and that vulnerability says

That from a single contradiction if you can sneak one contradiction through TSA The entire airway lapses. Yeah You get what you say is making an analogy for you guys because if you get through TSA with something, then like the system has failed. The whole system, it doesn't matter who did it particularly, the whole system has failed down. I'm, it's the best I could do, I can see your guys' eyes rolling back. Christine, please bring him back.

I can't stand you, dude. Everything that we do Just is destroyed and so the idea is that the security on mathematics and physics and physical sciences is extraordinary Stone there it is outside ideas because the first contradiction in the unity of knowledge destroys all of it, okay, so So what he's saying is that if we go with you We fuck everything up that we've built for things to make sense. If we go with Terrence Howard's theory,

we might as well just start fucking our family members, dude, because society breaks down. And now flying's not safe, because the TSA's involved now. So if we go with the guy who was in Hustle and Flow, we're fucked. He was also in Sunset Park, and he was one of the main characters of Empire. And he was in Iron Man 1.

He was in Iron Man 1. His math fucked that up. He was. He was also the... You fucked that up. Yeah, he was also the coach of the very black swimming team in high school in the movie. I wonder if you learned zero plus zero is zero, stupid.

You get nothing. You could have been in the Marvel fucking Empire How can the times of that with the square root of two be one? He was like this smaller than the original number. It don't be making no sense They replaced him so fast with a black midget Ironman that's a black man Don Cheadle Don. Yeah, Don Cheadle. He's four foot one. Yeah, he's got a fly ass tall light skin brother with green eyes and he plays him with Don Cheadle.

He looks like a fucking dried cat shit. Yeah, he looks like he's in the Tutsi tribe. Like in Hotel Rwanda. No makeup in that movie. These warehouse racking collapses. Yeah, some forklift guy. This is another analogy for idiots like you guys Christine pay attention. I'll quiz you later. Yeah, but I do need the warehouse analogy. You do I do want it I understand your simple guy from Jersey One of these warehouse racking collapses. Yeah, some forklift guy hits some strut and the entire warehouse goes...

House of cards. That's what you're dealing with with the principle of it. It's the house of cards theory. Do you guys know the house of cards theory? Now I get it. Yeah, we do. Oh, okay. Wasn't that a show that Spacey was in? Are you guys familiar with cards? If you have houses of them? If you have sex with young boys you get canceled you do okay? But if it's just boys you can come back eventually No one feels that babe just raised bunch of young boys That's the problems with the identity they go who are these boys you rape Kevin space he goes theater kids you go You were dinner with him you wouldn't make that the whole conversation the whole night he goes he goes now

You know these were theater kids. I go Oh fucking dude. Say no more, dude I'll have the do you have a raw bar here? Here goes Terrence Howard that sounds stupid again, I guess go on T They've been trying to work on for years. I think he has one of those wings on I Think he's wearing a cornrow wig. I hope so. I think he is one of those wigs on. I think he's wearing a cornrow wig. I hope so. I think he is. Now, can you all see my lace fronts? Norman J. Wildberger talks about it. It is what's... because you have to cancel conservation of energy and you have to cancel the action and reactionary laws laws I will say it does he just says words

over and over again because the cosmonaut graph Come into the Trilogophagus Look that word up, please. It's Trilogophagus. I think that's a word Now the sample nation of the species itself come to break down with a one tiny electron And that's how I can fly everything he says is dinosaurs Now the little and what's the word I'm looking for the flontubio Tubios that tend to move the plasma graph on through the you know what this is too much for you Joe

Rowland. I see your ears starting to steam a couple of geniuses chopping it up on your show You know I taught the first blacks how to swam. I said brothers trust me your hair will dry It will take long, but it will dry. Is that why black people don't sweat? Because they don't think their hair is going to dry. Black Lou, black me up. They think their hair is not the women, yeah. It ain't never going to dry.

I thought it was because it's not their hair. Your hair will dry. I thought it was because it's not the hair. I thought it was because it's not the hair. For one times one. Now I understand. You're seeing one, one time. But because of the associative law, the associative law that says if A and B are both positive integers, then A is to be added to itself. Oh really, you dumb fucks? A is to be added to itself really in mom fucks

Many units as is indicated by being on there Yeah, I can already tell you what this guy's gonna say Let me let him go I'm gonna take I can I could have busted that apart, too Let us let us let him do it. This guy makes the big bucks. Let him. There's a lowly radio guy Yeah, why do the word Jay? Yeah? Is a lowly radio guy. I'm gonna explain it. Yeah, why do the word Jay? Yeah The word itself to the word zero you're gonna say there is no zero Why do I say there's no zero because you're a fucking dumb lunatic? Why I'm trying to get back to what I understand is underlying metaphysics

There to say zero zero is supposed to represent no thing, nothing whatsoever, but they have zero as a number, set up as a number. But to say no thing, your brain creates a chemical structure even in saying nothing. The fuck? Well, if you say nothing, it's nothing, then in your brain you go, it's nothing. You don't even have to be a scholar like me to know that this guy is dumb as shit.

There's a difference between the empty set and zero. Are you saying that? If I say to you, Terrence. You're a dumb motherfucker. What is the collection of kittens that you have sold to North Korea to be used for spare parts? Seven. You would say, it's the empty set. I've never sold a kitten. I say, hey Terrence, what is the number of kittens that you've sold for the internal organs to North Korea?

You would say zero. So zero is the... I would say none, yes. That's right. So there is a zero. But to multiply something by the nothing to multiply Why would he use that analogy? I would use kit kitten organs I'm sure you could have done for apples Apples bananas. There's a lot of other

If you're gonna take a baby's liver if I asked you how many baby livers did you sell in the black market? How god bless Joe Rogan dude how in this same room three days before this Ari Shane and Mark No matter passed out on beers talking shit about everybody He goes guys guys you gotta take make sure you clean up all your beer cans. I have mathematicians coming tomorrow. I Have an astrophysicist coming tomorrow. So seriously guys had to clear these farts out Jay Jay right at the others is Joe's gonna do an alpha brain ad If you want to be as smart as these guys Do you want to know about absolute zero? Buy on it?

Don't they have to be dimensionally equal to in order to multiply. Like you can't multiply a human by an ant because they're not dimensionally equal. It's human times ant. They're not dimensionally equal, Jay. They're not dimensionally equal. You explain to me what dimensionally equal is. Means in the dimension, you're bigger than the ant. Son of a bitch, he's got it.

Thanks. You know what, dude're bigger than the ant. Son of a bitch, he's got it. Thanks. You know what, dude? I apologize. Whoa. I didn't realize that you were also, you're quietly a mathematician. Quietly. I had to focus on metaphysics when I did it.

Oh. Is that a thing you could focus on? Yeah. We have to take a break, everybody. I'm going to go look up what my degree was. Anyway, Yamanika has a show. Yamanika, anything else you want to plug Okay, that sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun and Robert Kelly in the meantime is gonna be in New York at the

Gramercy theater for a live regs podcast with your list Dan Soder Lewis J. Gomez And of course a very own Robert Kelly after that in Portsmouth, New Hampshire San Diego, California in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, San Diego, California, Vermont coming up? Yeah, go to PunchUp.live. All my new dates are up there, and I got a couple extra this summer, up in Vermont and maybe Maine. But you're taking it kind of easy for the most part.

I'm taking it off. I'm gonna be fishing, hiking, selling kitten livers. You son of a bitch. To North Korea? Ah, no, I'm gonna sell it to China. Ah. You can see Bobby every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge,

the Comedy Seller for tickets and all tour dates. Again, go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly. You can also get a bunch of his content there as well. Make sure you go see Big Jay Oakeson at the Funny Bone in Richmond, Virginia July 12th and the 13th. And he's gonna be in Atlantic City at the Borgata July 27th doing a big ass theater show.

Get your tickets right now for all the shows at big J Comedy dot com and check out our podcast go to the YouTube page like subscribe Paco's killing these clips killing it Paco. What are you gonna be Paco? Wherever you guys bring me Wow that was sad Wherever Asians are sold you know the zero plus zero means zero Oh, we probably your agent. Let's talk math He's tan Asian we back to say goodbye. I think everybody's the bonfire. There's no commercials, but nobody had them right Jacob Yeah, we have guests yeah

All right everybody Thank you so much for staying with us this week In a week where it looks like no one's really putting in the effort except us. I appreciate that about us. Yeah, we come in as a unit and put on a show live. Sure, some of us are mathematicians and some of us are a bunch of stoonods. But I'll tell you this. Yeah, sure.

Some of us look like the fat guy from Lost. Some of us don't. Takes a lot of vegetables to make a salad. Robert Kelly is gonna be at the Gramercy Theater for a live regs podcast on July 11th. After that, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, San Diego, California, and every Tuesday night, 7pm at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Punch up that live slash Robert Kelly for details.

Yeah, Big Jay is gonna be at the Funny Bone in Richmond, Virginia July 12th and the 13th, and the Borgata in Linux City July 27th Get your tickets right now big J comedy.com you guys before the July everybody America day. Go cry at fireworks