The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Daddy & Otter (feat. Bailey Jay)

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Joe DeRosa guest hosts as Bobby talks scary movies with porn star Bailey Jay.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Yo, we're back. We're back. I didn't pick a song.

Jay's not here. He picked who's that? Who's that? This is all so windfall. This is your band, Joe. Yes. What song is this? Song is called Fair Devil of the Mist.

Fair. A lounge song. How do you come up with a name like that? It's just one of the lyrics in the song. Oh, all right. It's like a lounge with a name like that? It's just one of the lyrics of the song. Oh, all right I take a lounge. I like I like serious Joe. There's different. You know, I like you and I'll tell you why there's different There's all different sides many moods. Yeah, there's exactly many moods We on the phone Joe oh

Relax a little. This is very exciting. Yes. I'm very excited. We have Bailey J Bailey J. How are you? Hey guys, I'm good. How are y'all? What are you? What are you? Southern? What's going on y'all? Yeah, the fuck y'all What you guys I guess what's happening Bailey J? I barely Joe I miss you. I haven't seen you in a long time. How's everything going? Everything's good everything's the same

We you're just still doing porn Yeah, I know isn't it? I'm gonna be 35. I'm almost ready for granny porn. Oh really you're gonna do granny porn No, I Jump ship before then. Okay, so you're like 35 cheese. It's I feel very old these days. How old do you? I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more.

I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more.

I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to get a little bit more. I'm going to We really? Yeah. He Joe's wearing an Empire Strikes Back shirt.

Yeah. I look at you wearing that. Yeah, that's that. How about those? Bobbi's wearing a bonfire merch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're ready to forget what show you're on when you got here today.

Hey now. Yeah. We're looking at Bailey J. Well, actually, they brought up some of your porn on the TV right now. Woo-ee. Woo-ee. God bless you, Bailey J.

We have a question for you. You maybe can help us. Joe, you want to ask the question? So Bailey, excuse me, we were trying to figure out what is, is it harder to turn a penis into a vagina or to construct a penis? And which one, which version of that will be more potentially problematic down the road? I said that I've heard that turning a penis into a vagina can cause potentially, not to disparage it in any way, but it can potentially cause problems with infections and things

because of them having to create a hole. And I didn't think that the creation of a penis would have those same issues, but we didn't know. And we thought maybe you might or somebody more educated in this world than us might know. Well, there's definitely people are going to be more educated than this world than us might know. Well, there's definitely, there's definitely people are gonna be more educated than me because I'm not a person who wants to get the surgery. Right.

But just what I've gathered from talking, you know, just from last Moses, from being around people who've had the surgery, the getting the penis, the turning, turning a vagina into a penis is more of an undertaking and there's a lot of very methods for doing it. And so I think there's more room for light because there's so many different ways to go about that surgery because when they turn a penis into a vagina they're not really making

a whole per se. I mean I guess they are but it's not a whole that is open to your entire body the way a like God made vagina is So like so it's the real complaint. I've only heard About people who get a penis and turn into a vagina is that you have to like dilate afterwards. Have you heard about this? No, wait, is that where you got to put the object in it? We were just talking about it. Yeah, basically you get like a medical grade Bildo and it goes in the hole like per I don't know how long you have to do it

I've heard some girls say they did it for a long time also I've also heard the size of your penis is going to directly affect the size of your vagina. So Joe would have a small vagina? It's a tiny little barb of pussy. She said you had a Barbie pussy? Now, is it the same for the other way? Like, would you have a giant loose pussy? Because of your big cock. Yeah, right. Like, so I have, I have super fat cock.

So for me, I would have a cavernous vagina. Yeah, just such a right. Is that the other question I had was, is the reason, I'm intrigued by all of it, is the reason that so many trans women don't get that keep is the reason that so many trans women keep the cock because they don't want to deal with the surgery of the vagina transition and all

that or is it more just because no i want to be a woman with a cock so obviously there's been a lot of reasons. So, you know, economic reasons. You know, it's an expensive surgery. And if you want it cheaper, not everybody can take off and go to Thailand to get a vagina made. But I'll say this. I've known trans people, trans women who are like really what they call, have a lot of gender dysphoria about their penis, they don't like their penis, they don't

like to see it, they don't want it engaged with, they really, it really, really makes them uncomfortable, and then there's me who I'm just like a thick pig and I don't, I like having a thick, I like other thick, it doesn't it doesn't bother me uh... i guess if i'm squatting naked and i'm soft i'm kinda like but like other than that i'm fine having a bit yeah well i i we that was another part we talked about i was saying when i'm with uh... trans woman i prefer that she has a penis and i'm not quite sure why

yeah i know why that makes sense you know if you're gonna get a burger and bacon on it yeah exactly you just you like a nice you like nice penis job yeah you like a nice call the baconator you're joe's a dick pig I'm also a dick pig. Yeah, Joe's a nice dick. I want to in my life

So so now some's happened to you over the years, which is weird to me is that your penis got bigger Bailey J You know, it did and and i get asked about it a lot yeah but not that i i've looked a lot but i remember when what i first met you and i started with a regular penis and now it's something else uh... we did

i always thought that i got older how so the thing is the people will hit me up and they're like, hey, what did you do to get a fatter dick? Like what procedure? And I'm like, if I had the secret to how to make your dick fat and not look weird, like I'd be a billionaire and not be doing porn.

Like, you know what I mean? So I think what it is for me is I started hormones at 18 and I was like, I was pretty a late developer, so I think even at 18 I was still cooking kind of. And so I interrupted it by doing hormones and then I was like, oh, I don't like hormones. I don't take hormones anymore. And so I think my dick just finished doing what it was planning to do anyway, just the later day.

So you paused your penis growth and then you let it go back and it became what it was going to be. I think so because I have a big nose and big noses and noses and cut girth go hand in hand like anecdotally as a slut, I can tell you that's true. God dammit, I got a little nose and it matches my little dick. That's a true theory. I'd be curious to see your penis.

Are you talking to me? I'm looking you dead in the eye. So what is going on, dude? I didn't say, I mean, talk to me. What do you want to do? You want to move in with me? No. I'm just curious what kind of dick you're packed.

So what do you want me to do? You want me to show it? You want to take a picture of it? Yeah. No, I don't want to take a picture. I just want to see it. You want to see it. I'm curious.

Not in a sexual way. I'm just curious. Joe, look at me. Yeah. Look at me. I guess that. Yes. It's our song.

Is that the music from Arthur? No. No. Yes. It's our song. Is that the music from Arthur? No, no. No. Joe, seriously. Yeah. Bailey, I want you to hear this too. Good. Joe.

Yeah. Whenever you want to see my cock, you can see my cock. Right now, I want to see it. I'm not getting fired. So you can see my dick. Why would you get fired? You can't take your dick out in work. That's true.

I guess. Huh? Tell that to Ari. That's true. Yeah. Why does he take his dick out a lot of work? He's taking his dick out a lot of work. He's taking his dick out a lot of work.

He's done. He's done. Yeah, he walked into taste buds, but naked the other day. He was naked outside in the hall. I'm sure. And then what, and then came in. I have a growing order show or two.

I have to get it ready. Yeah, I have a very regular size penis, but I think it's just the right size. I actually have a better dick than I thought I did for a long time. I forgot my young penis back in the day when I used to roll with no underwear. And then I got heavy.

And now that it blues and weight, I could definitely show you my dick now. Billy, it's Billy's dick. Billy, your dick really makes me feel like bad about myself a little bit. I mean, it's a fucking hog you got there. Well, Billy's Italian. I'm a mutt, so I'm Italian and Spanish and Native American and Swedish and like everything. She's got a nice Italian Native American. That's a nice piece mix. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That's a nice, I mean, yeah. I got like Irish Italian. I got like French Canadian. I got a awful piece mix. You know, I bet Lou has a nice piece mix, he looks like he's got some, some Viking in his piece. Yeah, Lou looks like he's packing.

Yeah, you packing, right? Average. Average. Jacob looks like he have a big dick but it'd be real skinny. Yeah, he's got, he's got a, Jacob's got like a misty cigarette, like a slim and sadistic. That's a lot of dick. Yeah, you know. Jacob's got like a misty cigarette like a slim and sadistic Yeah

I'm also shorter than people think I'll be Like my my my height is shorter than people like I photographed all So like my dick just looks big on me, but you when you're with a guy you like a guy Like Joe that's gonna treat you like a girl You don't like a guy that wants to suck, to go to suck you. Oh, it depends on the guy. It depends.

I want different things from different people. You like twinks, right? You like a twink, like a Jacob. You like a little twink. If I like, if there's a twink, all fucking mel and eat their ass, but like if there's a good giant like trucker dead, I'm not, my first thought isn't let me eat that

So in the room out of me Joe and Jacob, why do you always got to turn it into some competition of some kind and I don't you know I don't see myself as a twink you're a twink you don't see yourself as a twink Are you out of your mind? Are you out of your mind? I'm in a twin. I don't know. I don't know. Buddy, you're a twink.

You're cold. I'm cold, but I mean a twink is skinny. Yeah, you're skinny, Jake. Yeah, you're really skinny. You're very skinny. I work out. Yeah, I know. Twinks work out.

Twinks are not in shape. Buddy, twinks are in shape. What are you talking about? Maybe I've got the wrong attitude about twinks. I've got a Google twink Go ahead ask your competitive for no reason competitive Because you never fucking had brothers to play with Fucking lonely

I just had a dad that showed me support well, I didn't turn it into a competition. Yeah, piece of shit Slim build and youthful parents is the definition of twink that you that you're a twink that's actually Yes, yeah, you look like tell me your name. Yeah, that's what is call me by your name You look like Timothy fucking shallow back Hey, I don't Jacob. I don't I mean not Bailey Jay out of us three. Who would you be with? Well, if Jacob looks like him at the Salome. Just as sort of his body. Now he's going to walk that back.

Yeah, what can I have to say? I was like, this is too high praise. What can I have, Joe? What will you let me have here? Yeah, Joe. From his neck down, he looks like him. I was ready to go along with the timnesthe challenge. I know you were. It's like you are okay i'm a twink that

yeah uh... uh... jacob's your jacob's a good looking kid jacob's great looking what which we think that muscles there are there are there are there are there's also twunk territory kind of a hunky twink that's also a thing what is what is joderosa i like to think of myself as a twink then it's what would you be i'd say jordan order I like to think of myself as a twonk then. It's only Shelby. I would say Joe's an otter.

An otter. What's that? That's what you look like. It looks like you slip on logs and go back in water. You eat seashells on your belly. Hold on, wait. I want to look up otter in a gay talk. What am I now, Bailey?

Oh, see, now you were, you were a daddy easily. But now you're in shape, but I think you're still a daddy or just kind of like, you're bordering on like muscle daddy like that. Mm-hmm. It's your first, you first you were trucker bare and now I say you're a, you're a daddy. Nice, I like it, but you still wouldn't eat my butt. Um, no. No. No. Bailey, I you still wouldn't eat my butt. Um no no

Bailey I'm too slim to be an otter. I'm too slim to be an otter. I'd say otters are like smaller bears Well, so a cub is a smaller bear an otter can have like a longer bill They're just not particularly muscular, but they have body hair that you okay? I'm an otter near an otter. I'll take it. Of course you will, you have to. Well, you know, I don't like that she goes you're in shape to you and then you go, yeah. You're a shape.

Please. Buddy, I'm in better shape than you. Bob, what? You're out of your tree right now. First of all, you're out of your... If anybody's in the tree, you're out of your otter. Cubby tree, right? Whatever the fuck she said you were. You're out of your... If anybody's in the truck, you're out of your auto. Cubby tree.

You're out of your cage. I'm in better shape than you. Bob, you're not. I'd say we're in equal shape just in different ways. Buddy, that's fair. That's fair. You know that that's fair. I'm gonna take that because I want to move on

because we have other things I want to talk about. Because I want to talk about horror movies and I want to talk about and Bailey you're a big horror movie fan correct yes Yes, okay, huge. I want to ask you guys really quick everybody in here All right, I want to know you top five horror movies, but before we get to that I because it's Halloween and we're not doing a show tomorrow And I love Halloween. I want to know who's the number one mother fucking monster? Who's like the top three? I'm talking like Dracula, werewolf, Frankenstein. Hold on, hold on.

Okay, I'm holding on, good. You just said two, I gotta problem with two things that you just said. But then I'm better shaped than you. No, that's a fact. No, that's, we're past that. I know that you put a hammock up outside of a tiny house. And you think now that you're a woodsman?

Right. Right. Because you bought a fucking ice stove that could cook a hot dog outside. And what the fuck it is you do? But I hope they attack us tonight and you get killed right away. I hope that happened. What are you laughing at twink?

Have your way with Jacob. I will rape Jacob right now. You don't think you might hear him. If don't get shot in the head like like Joe said, you're my bitch Jacob. Me and you make a love. I'm on the queer D. queer D now. Yeah, yeah, that's you. If that's a twink. Yeah, too. I mean, I wish the audience to see that. I'll take that. Yeah, that's you if that's a twink. That's you. I mean, I wish the audience see that I'll take that Yeah, 100% of your twin all right. Yeah, you're a twink. I'm a proud twink and by the way your name's Jacob Jacob is a twink Oh my god Went by Jake. Yeah, yeah last name is twink Jacob patat that's twinking

Sorry, okay, so wait so wait no, no, no, want you to walk, I want to walk back what you just said. You said what's our favorite monsters top five or no, who's the scariest monster? Sorry There's two categories to that question There's two categories to that question It's you got to either go specific monster meaning like Freddy Krueger Jason or you got to go monster type meaning zombie Where wolf mummy okay, so so so that's that was and then also the monsters not called Frankenstein I want to say first of all I'm in way better shaped way better. This is insane. You said you wanted to get past this way better shape You said you want to get past this right now looking atakes you said you want to get past this right now. No looking at me.

No, Jacob. Who's a better shape me or him? Who's a better shape? I got to see Joe's guns. Show your guns. Your guns are bigger. I can tell you your guns are bigger. Whatever. Okay. We'll move on. We'll move past. Bobby's gun got bigger guns. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. I'd like to see the blood work and see Are you nuts? Can we just please? Okay, come on. Okay, all right. I'm saying and Bailey and everybody

Monsters the classics. Okay, you got you got Dracula. You got the werewolf Frankenstein. Frankenstein's monster. I'm gonna throw up. He's not. It's a big difference. I mean, it's just it's it's just common knowledge. Monster. Whatever. Yeah. And then you got you got the creature from the black lagoon. So you only want to go the classic universal classics. Well, because I think it's unfair because if you go to Freddie. Why is it unfair? Okay, we'll go

all them. But I think it should be monster types. Okay. And then monster specific. Okay, what is it? Scariest. Okay. We can do both. Yeah. What, who's the scariest monster of out of all of them?

Specific monsters, not types. Yes. Um, I think, uh, pinhead from Hellraiser is the scariest monster. That is a good, wow, I didn't even think of pinhead. That's what I'm saying, you gotta go, go say iconic monster, okay? And then you're talking, you're talking. You got some icons, Chuckie, counts,

you know, he's in the running. Chuckie is not scary. I didn't pick Chuckie. I'm just saying like, can I say some more Chuckie? It's a shit, it's never scared me it's a doll with a creepy voice that can get a night you could kick chucky off your fucking shin i like i like chucky chucky sucks i'm a fan chucky's an asshole he's an asshole yes that's right

like a razor hand in here bailed you think chucky is a good monster like a scary monster so i i'd funny you ask that could i recently acquired a ventriloquist doll from an antique store that i was warned with haunted and uh it is doing some weird shit but i realized i'm not scared of it because i know i could just stomp the shit out of it yeah lighted on fire kick its head off it's a short choking me i just start laughing yeah dolls aren't scary come to the but i know i disagree i think dolls i think i think dolls in the right way can be really scared

did you know what he said what's that he's one's gonna a fucking old doll on a bed in his house she does you know so the wall of dolls it's terror that is the reason i'll show you a joke during the on a bed in his house. She does, you never saw the wall of dolls. It's tarot. That is terrifying. See the reason I'll show Jay Joe during the brief. I think dolls are, there's some scary dolls you know, they're not a favorite of the dogs. I'm just saying, I'm not saying Chuck E's the scary, I'm just saying, I'm just naming him as an example.

I'm saying pinhead. Pinhead is good. Everything he can do, his whole vibe, what he represents, pinhead is pretty goddamn scary. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say Freddie. I would have said Freddie, but then Freddie got like two jokies and it got ruined. I'm gonna say first Freddie.

Very joky. First Freddie. Okay. First Freddie, number one. That's a great one. I think he, because here's the thing, you gotta sleep. You gotta sleep. I know. And to know that he can only come when you sleep

You can't fight it. You can't fight it. You can only do what? What can you do? So I have Bailey before you answer. I just want to tell Bobby this. We're not forgetting about you um, I have a I have a The I don't know what the fuck you'd call it, but I have a belief with opinion with horror movies. Every, in my opinion, the best horror movies ever made have one universal quality, which is you're in a situation that is inescapable, okay? Not just, oh, the guy trapped you in his house

and you can't get, I don't mean like that. I mean, and one of the examples I always say is nightmare and umstreet. You have to sleep eventually. There is no escape, you have to sleep. The exorcist is a great example. She can't leave. It's her daughter in her house.

She can't leave. Texas chainsaw massacre. They're in a town that is secretly being run by the insane family. You're trapped, they're in a town that is secretly being run by the insane family. Your trap, your fucked. Anything where it's like no dude, you're trapped here, you can't get away from this. Like that to me makes the best choice. But here's the thing, Texas chainsaw massacre, you can get out of that town.

You can't get out of sleep. You can't get out of your own brain. They cut their, they cut their tires and brakes or whatever. They can't, they have no vehicle. Okay, fine, but you can. There is a way out. It's a real town. You know what I hate?

I just, I just made. I can't call an Uber. This is back in the day too. Yeah. There's no cell phones. There's no houses. I make a interesting point and it just, and me instead of going let me find the problem Make it again because I'm a good actor. Go ahead make it again really quick

When you can't escape it's scarier That's a good point I never thought of that and I'm really that's good I took your thing and I went with it and then you shit on mine. I did I 100% What Bailey what's your what your what your what your what you see? Who do you think the the scariest monster is? on mine i did i have a hundred percent baili what you're what you're what you see what you who do you think the the scariest monsters okay is it too much of a deep cut to say

no sparrot too you know like the silent film longer and all they deep cut baili it's a most famous silent movie all time when you think you're fucking an intellectual mean are you fear's first movie? Silence Bill, I didn't want to sound like I was being a dude. I mean, it's... Bailey's like, I don't want to get to us a terror here, but I think Bella Legosi.

Yeah, we've heard of him, Bailey. I mean... I didn't want to sound like I was putting on airs. You weren't, you don't. I heard you are, and you know what it's not scary What he had a shadow that was no that's not true. I'm not sure I was really fucking with the long fingers Yes, I would also barely I would I would piggyback that with the salam's lot vampire being fucking terrifying All right, Sam's

So so what are you saying that so so that Dracula? A nose Farato as you. Well, that's what the movie's called. Okay, fine. Yeah. Or you could say Dracula for the layman's people listening. But then they're gonna think of Bellagosi Dracula. Maybe they won't.

Maybe they'll think of, you know, another is a plenty of other Dracula's. You can think of Vampire Lostat was a Dracula. No, he was a vampire. He's not what's what's a Dracula. No, he was a vampire. He's not. What's a Dracula? Dracula is his name. So this Dracula is the one guy,

and then the other vampires. Bob, Bob, I don't understand. You know what, I'm gonna say this. I'll say this right now. You're right. And I fucked up. You know the scariest, in my opinion, and nobody ever says this when they say scary as

Dracula's like guys that have portrayed actual Dracula in movies. This one doesn't get it enough. Gary, the Gary Oldman Dracula in the Francis Four Coppola Dracula is really fucking scary. He's really scary when he turns into like the half bat thing. I think Fright Night guy was scary. That's a great one. I think think right night doesn't get the credit either i love for you as fucking terrifying jerry dr. dr. jerry dandridge yes not the remakes ever yeah the remakes

sucked what what is your remakes what is your favorite what is your scariest monster movie or monster monster i i'm gonna have to pick a i'm gonna save Freddy Krueger a second. I'm gonna give you as an alien when they're on the Nostromo. Is there just no way out? Wait, in the movie Alien. Oh yeah, that's a good one. But I mean you're talking like, that's a monster and not a person.

But is an alien, wait a minute. Is it an alien? That's the scariest creation. Because it's an animal that does not care. There's no reason to say something. That's why I think Werewolf is the scariest of all the monsters. Because you have no, there is no reasoning with it. You could conceivably make a deal with Dracula or a vampire. You could conceivably get away from a zombie.

Wherewolf, it's like, you're fucked. Yeah, but it's only when the moon's falling. So if there's a cloudy night, you're fine. No, it's just it's physically if the moon's out. I thought when the moon comes out is when it happens. That's modern. It just takes on it, which is bullshit. It's just the cycle of the moon.

Lil, who's your scariest monster? I don't really like scary movies. Besides when you and your girlfriend fight. She's a hard monster to overcome. Woof. Because when I was young, the original pet cemetery scared the shut up, Jacob. Scared the shout of he's so hard and fucked me up so much

that I haven't really watched scary movies since. So I just got to go with pet cemetery because something you once loved comes back a different version I'm gonna say something great. I'm gonna say something right now when kids when kids Are possessed or devil or would come back one of the scariest things because You have to hurt a kid Which is for me to hurt a kid, which is for me brings back the childhood shit. Well, that's what makes the exorcist so scary.

Tara. Because she's so scary. She's so scary in the exorcist, but it's her daughter and it's the worst case scenario. It's your daughter you love. That's, yeah, that was a great kid at one point. Great kid. Such a sweet little kid. How bad was that new one?

Holy shit. It was fucking terrible. It was terrible. Great kid such a sweet little kid how bad was that new one holy shit Bailey what I remember your favorite horror movie Bailey, but I don't know if you think it's the scariest. Yeah, Rosemary's baby You do my podcast. We talked about it. Terrible It's not a scary movie. Oh It's a good movie It's not a scary movie. Like what movie is the scariest movie of all time? For me? Yeah. Go to Jacob. You go twinkie. Yes, sir. No, I would I would have to say Nightmare on Elm Street. That would be my

pick. It's a good one. My. Like I said, like you said, you cannot. You got to go to sleep. You can fight it and fight it but Black glue what is your scariest monster? We didn't ask you and that's that's on me Scariest monster yeah, um I really don't Watch scary movies, so it's kind of hard for me to To say right this way I didn't Because I knew you're gonna say that you're not afraid of anything. It'd be candy man, I guess. Oh

Candy man's a good one. He's scary. Oh, it's terrifying. Yeah, when you say he's he's beetle juice What are you talking about? Don't you say his name when he comes out? I don't know stupid I don't know, dude. He is scary. Candyman is scary. Dude, Freddie came when you went to sleep. If you were the kid of one of the people that killed him, if you weren't, then you're fine. Don't say that about any monster.

You can be like, well, just don't go to the place in Texas and you're fine. Yeah. Don't play with the puzzle box and you're fine. Yeah, don't go to Texas. Don't get a daughter possessed. You're fine. Yeah, don't play with the puzzle box and you're fine. Yeah, don't go to Texas. Don't get a daughter Possessed you're fine. Yeah, of course, you can't say that. You can't do possession. You can't say that the devil just comes in takes over I Think I think candy man's a really good one. Candyman is not a I'm sorry Lou and I'm sorry. I'm not going against you I'm just saying the exactly that's what I think Just a one-eyed little man who can tap dance

Stakes can't even suck. No one is ever been scared of this. You know what? I'll tell you a movie that's scary that doesn't get credit Jeepers creepers. Oh shit Number two into the worst horror franchise of all time Jeepers creepers I at we did my podcast live the other day. Our movie podcast. I said to the audience, we did a giveaway, we had trauma film sponsored and they gave us stuff to give away.

I said for the first question to give away, what is the worst horror movie of all time? In a podcast, Danielle, Jeepers creepers. Congratulations, you win. That movie sucks. That monster is not scary. Oh my God, can I say something? You know what that is?

What? Rookie mistake. It's time for Rookie mistake brought to you by Snickers. Rookie mistake. Maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL. Check out Snickers dot com slash NFL to learn learn more and tomorrow make sure you get your trick-a-treat you get

your little Snickers. Looky Mistakes. Hmm, thank you. Bailey, do you agree with me about Jeepers Creepers? So I think Jeepers Creepers is really scary until you see the monster. Oh, okay, that's a good point. I think the monster okay that's a good point i think the largest terrified and i mean i was scared of ups truck to the kid to the movie

and but then once they actually show the monster totally show him he just looks like a c monkey and really stupid let me tell you why did you i forgot the age difference you were probably young when that movie came out i was already in college i think but but let me tell you i jibars Creepers is so dumb. Just made it weird. And not scary. Number one, he drives a truck.

Number one, a monster that can fly drives a truck. Number two, the truck has vanity plates. It says Creeper, the monster got vanity plates made. So the monster that can fly goes to a gas station to fill this truck up with gas That's why I liked him cuz he's a down-to-earth monster He's not a fucking guy like Dracula just appears and uses wings all the time this guy went out and got a van All right, and he got he got a vanity plates. So what so it's like a hipster truck I think I think like a given Brooklyn driver.

Exactly. Can I say something though? I never thought of it. I never thought of the stupid truck that he could fly. Can I ask a question though? You don't know that. I think there's only certain times

he can, in his wings grow. Wait a minute. It's not Bob. It's not. Trust me. I have tried repeatedly with this franchise. When somebody will go every 10 years years or five years or whatever it is Somebody will go no, it's good. I go all right. I'm gonna go back again

And then my god damn it. It's not good. All right name the top five horror movies to watch my my favorite tomorrow night We're gonna watch our movies five and what do we watch my favorite is the exercise one love it, which is also baili's She said great my second favorite horror movie of all time is creep show It's it's I look it's my you asked me my favorite is that the moment the anthology. Yeah, okay. I like anthology stuff I know you do the movie creep show is awesome creep show to is awesome tells the dark side of the movie is awesome I the TV show creep show is not great to his creep show is not great. Two was creep show. Two was creep show.

My third, I definitely have Nightmare in Elm Street, somewhere in my top, the original, in my top five. The original. God, this is hard, man. I have so many horror movies at home, and I've watched so many. Wow. No, I'm not, I'm not drawing a blank.

I'm just, my head is racing. Just spit one out. Texas chainsaw massacre. That's good one. You know, my fifth could, it just, there's so many. I love the mist. I love the mist. The new one?

New, it's the one with the things with the, with a fight with each other in the supermarket? Yeah. It's an amazing movie. I love Misery. Misery's not a harm movie. Ah! It's not a harm movie.

Alright, fair enough. Not a harm movie. It's just a crazy... I love the tea. You know what? I really love. And it's a mini series. I don't know if it counts as a movie.

I love the TV version of it. It's not. It... Peace. That's a great, scary-s scary Tim Curry's Pennywise is fucking scary as shit. Not the new one. No, the TV one they made in the 80s with Tim Curry where he plays Pennywise. That's fucking scary. But here's a problem at the end of the movie is a spider. Well, they botched the ending.

Wait, you know, what do they mean? Didn't that the J said that's what do it. Stephen King writes a shitty ending on all his books. It always turns out to be a space alien or some mystic. We used to jump. Me and my friend used to joke that that Stephen King had a spinning wheel in his office when any guy who's in the third act of the book and he's like, all right, what's it going to be giant spider? All right. Bailey, what's your gonna be a giant spider all right Bailey what's your top five top five just do top three because top twice too hard

apparently for you horror people well i would say i would take the extra set i like slow burn horror movies though so if i was thinking like something stupid which nightmare no i'm sure thism street is the gay one. The second one. Oh, the part two, yes.

Yes, teacher. So the gay, the gay one with the school bus. I like that one, though, it gets a people shit on. I think it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, I, I thought one was the best three more years is so great, though. What is it? Third one is one of my favorite movie. Yeah, I thought one was the best three more years is so great though What is it third one is one of my favorite movie three is awesome. It's not scary. It's just fantastic. It's not as scary but Yeah, I I really liked her editary which is new horror for me

I don't like new horror movies generally, but I really like her editary. I didn't like her Yeah, the ending just it was stupid anyone it but it here. I didn't like her. Yeah, the ending just, it was stupid. Anyone. So I like, I read, I have all these books on demonoletry. So I'm like a demon nerd. So I got really excited about the pain and shout out. I love, did you watch Evil Dead Rise? That movie was awesome.

That was terrifying. Yeah. Evil Dead Rise was terrifying. It was great. Again, kids, kids being possessed was terrible. And they weren't coming. They were dead. I went to the premiere of that in Austin at South by Southwest. And because it was a premiere at a festival and they let jet, they let like tick, they let like, um, pass holders from the festival in. Yeah. So regular people

could go. Wasn't some Hollywood thing where you had to be invited and whatever There was a literal line. I was like and I was in line my friend JT Haberstat It was a comic down in Austin and we were standing in line like oh, dude When's the last time you waited in a line to get into a movie? I'm like this is fucking cool and we got in man They dude people were going fucking crazy in a it was awesome. I was jumping out of my soul. I went to Jay and Christine and Josh and I was jumping out of my fucking chair. That was a crazy crazy ass movie. I don't know. I don't like dumb scares. Jump scares are like not my thing. I hate them, but I love them. I don't think it's hard.

It's so hard because everything's been done, how are you gonna make another scary movie? How are you gonna make an exorcist? And they seem to just be, like with other movies, they just seem to be making kind of politically correct horror movies. They do that a lot.

That's why I hate the Blumhouse stuff. Everything from Blumhouse, including this latest exorcist, they just are constantly shoe-horning this agenda into it about the patriarchy. And I'm like, guys, it doesn't have to be a part of everything. And if you're gonna do it any horror movie with a message, the message when it's done right, the message is masked.

And you have to go back and somebody goes, you know, that's kind of actually about this and you go, holy shit, that's fucking cool. You know, like, so they talked about like, there's a documentary about that. They talked about Friday the 13th and they were like, you know, Friday the 13th was actually a commentary on the moral majority in the 1980s.

Everybody that gets punished in front of the 13th is having sex and doing drugs and drinking and, you know, and they get killed and they were like, it's this kind of commentary on what was going on in the culture at that time with teenagers. And I'm like, that's fucking great. And you'd never know that if you weren't looking for it. It's just there.

And if you really love the movie, you go, oh, you know what I picked on. I was even in Jason versus Freddie. I mean, yeah, Jason, they did the same thing. Yeah, yeah. The girl was, you know, I had to tell Max, we watched what Max and James last night. We had a put, there's not too much for Max. We had to put, we had to put hats on them. They had to pull the hats down when they were showing the tips and stuff. But, you know, it was a rookie mistake on my part. It's time for rookie mistake brought to you by Snickers, rookie mistake.

Maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL. So check out Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more. Bailey, thank you so much for calling in. We love you. You've taught us a lot today. I miss you. I'll be back in Tampa very shortly.

And I hope to hook up with you guys. You and Matt. Uh, and happy Halloween. All right. Check out Bailey. What's your podcast that you do? Um, I'm doing the invisible cabin, the BS two e's and it's on a Patreon. So it's neat. What's the Patreon. Oh shit. I don't fucking. There you go. Check out Bailey J. We'll post it. I'll post it. We'll have somebody posted. Bailey J. Bailey, I'll drop a line when I'm in Florida. I've been seeing you in 10 years. Yeah, and of course, of course to say hi to say hi to Matt. I love Matt, her husband, which really bummed out Joe

when he first met you that you were married. You've never seen him that disappointed in my life. Still haunts me, still hurts. Um, we, uh, we got to take a break. We'll be right back. Joe DeRosa is going to be all over the place. Uh, make sure you go, what's your website? He's going to, Joe, Joe DeRosa dot com.

He's got a brand new tour that's coming out right now. So make sure you check out all his dates. Here's some of them right now. Uh, New York, New York KGB bar doing readings from my audio book. Uh, and then the rest of these dates are the new hour. Philadelphia, November 11th, November 17th, Pittsburgh, November 18th Buffalo, November 30th, Denver, December 1st, Phoenix, December 3rd, Salt Lake City, January 13th, New York.

It's a lot. February 8th, Nashville,. It's a lot. February 8th Nashville. I mean, just February 9th, Charlotte. It's too many. February, they've forgot all the February 15th San Francisco February 16th. Just read the website. West Hollywood's February 17th, San Diego. It's a lot.

Joe de rosa.com for dates. Big J. And ticket links. Cobb San Francisco November 4th through the 50th. He's going to be a Milwaukee Philadelphia Cleveland Houston for tickets and all of the big J comedy dot com Robert Kelly live dot com. I'm all over the place to go to punch up dot live to watch my special for free We'll be right back. It's the bonfire Everybody thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show

If you want the whole thing go to serious xxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo!