The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dance Battle

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Every member of the Bonfire loves music, but who can actually dance? Bobby thinks he can because he flirted at A.A. dances when he was young. Jay puts on a rhythmic display while alone in the shower. Jacob shines only at weddings. A video is played of DJ Lou folding under pressure trying a shuffle dance. Paco the filmographer suddenly starts dancing in the studio and puts everyone to shame! The Bonfire will be live on SXM next week, but please enjoy this never-aired podcast! To find out where Jay and Bob are performing stand-up, go to Bigjaycomedy.com and Robertkellylive.com. Big Jay Oakerson's crowd work special "Them" is out NOW on YouTube! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly. You really do know when to start this show. You know what? Yeah. I've had a thing, people don't know that the music starts and Lou waits for you to put those headphones on. And for a long time I was like, what's going on? You know what? You know when to start the show and the song. You really know.

I would have started 30 seconds ago. Could have started six minutes ago and it would have been okay, but you gotta let the people enjoy what's happening. You gotta let them build. Well, once that starts, somebody out there is in a cool situation right now fighting a California fire. Yeah. It's very dark, apocalyptic happening around

them. Yeah. Maybe they're listening to us in Australia where it's nighttime right now. Yeah maybe somebody's on the subway about to push somebody on a train. Maybe someone's gonna push somebody on a train. Absolutely. Maybe someone's listening to us while they're thinking about jumping off of a building. Yeah. And this song is too dramatic to just stop in the very beginning. You gotta let him get through the whole mood of it first. And then we pop in, hey, it's Bonfire, Bobby and Jay.

And then we're in. And then we're in. You know what? Just like that. I'll never doubt it again, my friend. I'll never doubt it again. Well, when you pick, and you should pick songs to start the show. Yeah.

When we come back from the first break. I'll pick the song. You pick the song and then you know where to start it. Great, perfect. Because you're feeling it at that point. You go, this is the song, I want to hear it for this reason. And when we get to that part, we'll thump in. Any song. Any song you want. All right. And you got to, we'll thump in. Any song.

Any song you want. All right. And you got to know when to thump into it. Got to know when to thump in. That's a thing. But you couldn't have gotten started the show without getting to like the heavy part of the song. Turn it up, Blue.

It's coming again. I've never felt the emotions this guy sings about One spark, sun, dear kill me Kill me Damn, dude That's cause, you know Let's leave everything we know and just start over Let's be badasses

You should go to therapy and then you'll feel these emotions What? What? I've been going to therapy be to feel this I feel these emotions every day. Oh, I feel it now. You need darkness, dude Yeah, I'm going darkness. I have dark. This is my shower song today. I Must punch myself in the face in the shower In the dark so hyped up that's cuz you couldn't see anything. I couldn't see myself I was trying to shadow box, but I'm my own shadow in the dark so hyped up that's cuz you couldn't see anything. I couldn't see myself I was trying to shadow box, but I'm my own shadow in the dark Oh, that's me. Mm-hmm Yeah, I'm sorry we won't talk again until

It's great band. Tool does rule. It's just great. Does he sing the same though? I think so. He catches some shit saying he can't really hit it anymore. Maybe there's some like help. I don't know but like his voice sounds, I mean he talks most of the songs. But there are songs where he has to sing and hit some high screams. Where I don't know if he can anymore maybe.

But he always sounds great to me. It's one of my favorite YouTube videos is him singing sober in that onesie. Yeah, it's like a daytime, right? Daytime, but he's, you know, when a lead singer is into it, it's disgusting. Well, he's always like, that's what I've always thinks kind of cool about him.

Like the way he dances to the music and stuff is very like a very private, very tribal. I feel like he's looking at one person. Took Jacob to see Tool right before COVID. Yeah. Do you like it? Oh, I loved it. He did. Jacob was loved. It was Jacob's first experience of being recognized a lot, too.

I was like, yeah, dude, like fans of ours are at these kind of shows. And Jacob was outside, people were yelling Jacob, they were all excited for him. Were you excited? Did that make you excited? I was also, I was also chilled because I took a little uh. Acid?

No, it was a blue pill. What the hell was it? Oh yeah, Oxy-Con. Oxy. What? Yeah. Jacob was a drug addict a few years ago, Bobby. What?

I don't like the light stuff. We wanted to get him to take Molly with us, but he wouldn't. So he took painkillers instead. You don't want Jacob on Molly. I would have loved Jacob on Molly, dude. You don't want his emotions coming out. Are you kidding? It would have been like having a lovable pet.

You don't want all his female soccer emotions coming out. You're wrong about that. I do want that. I wanted to cry with Jacob that night. But for eight hours? I wanted to cry with Jacob that night. I don't know, it doesn't, I said, Christine will tell you this, I don't know why, these things don't hit me as hard.

It turns out not as big a major decision to do them as it is for some people. Because you are not connected to your emotions. Possible. You need to go to therapy and you'll enjoy your drugs more. If DMT didn't work on me, that's gotta mean something. I think, I think, I think Lexapro blocks this stuff. Yeah. Oh, you take Lexapro? Yeah. What does Lexapro do? Blocks everything. Love. No, it made me not. When I'm off it, I just get like, I'll get genuinely like panicky like things that I,

I'm far more aware of them now of what they are. I don't get as panicked anymore, but like I just get that kind of like nervous, like something bad's happening right now. Inexplicable. 2010, it was really, really bad. That's why I got Alexa Pro and I really haven't had a problem with it since. But I've taken myself off of it and I've gotten like Forget the emotional like I'm having a heart attack. I know that's kind of not what's happening

But I still get like glassy vision and stuff and like if you're off it If I guess if I get to a something where my body's like getting in the panicky, I guess for whatever reason I never took anything. I mean, I probably should have taken something at some point You're shaking your head full of pocket. Go fuck yourself. You're annoying. That's why so I treat you the way I treat you fucking bug everybody Nothing to do with me That's all you Hey when people blame you for being an asshole It's like you're a little quick trigger furious. You see you make me furious

Yeah, you fucking douche. Um, you know, I took that, so that's what it will do. But maybe it's because of that, because I don't not feel the... DMT was crazy because I felt nothing. DMT is what? It was like nothing. It's the liquid your brain secretes when you die. Why would you...

First of all, who'd you get that from? Lewis. Lewis. When, what hooker did he get it from? Maybe all these girls he's dating are girls that have been murdered for DMT. It's a strong psychedelic drug, which may, I think it's, it may have changed Christine forever

for the worse. Yeah, I really had a hard time with it. As they call it, blast it off. Yeah, Christine was. Is that what she called me? No, no, that was the residual effects. I believe Don woke me up Christine still on the phone Still talking But yeah that may have fucking contributed to that pretty heavily, but it did not do anything to me Nothing.

I didn't even get like, I didn't even have like a little something, and it's only 10 minutes, but it did zero. The high only lasts for 10 minutes? It feels like an eternity. Jesus Christ. But Lewis got me to do it, to try, because what happened was Christine did it.

She came out in four minutes pretty sad pretty crying and saying she wasn't enjoying what she was seeing at all and then uh and she goes I don't know if I think it's not gonna end and then I told her I go all right well it's only gonna be like like six more minutes only been four minutes and when she the way she looked at me when I told her it's only been four minutes she was like I've lived three lifetimes so while while she's going through her thing, I'm saying over her head to Lewis I Go mama doing this. I got my doing so funny. You know Christine do it first. They like yeah, I'm good Yeah, the guinea pig sure get her first. We'll see what happens far more experience with drugs. Probably Christine

So I was yeah But probably Christine so I was uh yeah but so I was like I'm not doing it and then Christine when she because then and like seven minutes later she was just like that was crazy but she wasn't like there's no residual like you're wobbly she was just like oh I guess that's what DMT is like holy shit wow that was nuts and then I go yeah I don't think I'm gonna do it. And then she knew she already hated it. She knew she hated it. But she goes like this.

She goes, no, no, no, no, you should do it. You should do it. I go, I don't know, I think maybe it wouldn't be good for me if that's how you handle it. She goes, no, no, no, you'll be fine, it's fine. It wasn't that bad. And then after I did it and it didn't work, then she was like, that was the greatest nightmare I've ever experienced

Day was night night was day. I don't know what was happening and I was so scared and she sent me right into it Yeah, but that's what drug addicts do they go. No, it's good. You should try it be in hell with me. So I'm not alone Not like it's but she was already She needed you to go there to experience hell pretty much with drug addicts That's their MO. Okay Bobby sharing drugs is no drug addicts. Yeah, I was gonna say probably nah, it sucks. You wouldn't even like it. I keep it for yourself Try oxy I did it's the best. I did it when I was 13 Alright, but you haven't done in a while. It's new, it's better now. I used to snow at Oxie.

I remember I got Oxie, we stole it off this kid's mom and we put it on a shingle, or crushed it up on a shingle like idiots. And then we had to lick the shingle because most of it was just embedded in the shingle. Classic. I'm just licking a shingle as a 13 year old. Classic.

Yeah, I used to do a lot of fucking, I loved pills back in the day. Pills rule. I loved drinking the most, because it was like an all-day thing. You could just get a thing of ice, put it in a barrel, sit by a track and fucking drink,

but popping a pill was great. Snorting a pill was great. We used to snort the pills. I feel like you could officially use barrel for too many things. Barrel. It's a fucking barrel. An actual barrel this time? It was an actual, yeah, like a barrel.

Okay. Like a fucking barrel an actual barrel this time. It was an actual yeah like a barrel like a metal barrel Like you know the big metal barrels tub, you know, they put oil in tub that's a barrel that's not a tub a tub Is something yeah, that's a barrel. Oh, that's a drum. Well, that's not a drum If I said drum you'd be like good drums. I said barrel. That's more if I said that's a barrel But that's what it was, a steel barrel? Yeah, like by the tracks, we'd always get like one of these steel barrels, and we'd fill it with wood and whatever we found,

and we'd light it on fire and hang right by the tracks. That's what we used to drink under a bridge by the tracks. Because when the cops came, they couldn't just get to you. They had to come down where you get in, and then come up so we'd always see them. And then we could run. We're having a party, man. Yeah, yeah, we used to hang out on the...

But you've never done Oxy with Jacob? No, I've never done anything with any of you people in the room, because I've been sober for 38 years. Unfortunately. I love taking Oxy and then not having enough strength to get off my couch. Yeah, it's great, right? If you did Molly with Jacob, you'd wake up on a bench,

you'd be curled up like a shih tzu under your stomach. That was great. Christine did not enjoy it. You suck in a lot of your tits. Christine, one of her least favorite tools was the one on Molly. She didn't not like it, but she said it was too much Molly, not enough concert.

I was dialed in. What does Molly do again? Make you just happy? Yeah, super happy. You want to call a lot of people and tell them how great they are. They're all consumed by love. But... Why wouldn't you want to do that?

The best thing was Justin Silver, because what I also focused on for many times when he went a row in front of us to be with other muscly guys and Then just and then just got down to his tank top and then he just does one dance He holds his dick and and points his finger forward and just does this over and over again for every song every beat No matter the tempo, dick grab, tank top, fucking... Just plays it out, dude. Surprising. I thought if he did Molly,

he would just become straight, like he'd go the opposite way. It was a wacky night. Corinne Fisher thought she was talking to Justin's dog who was passing away. Corinne Fisher. Yeah, she was like, she started crying. She's like, he was talking to Justin's dog who was passing away Yeah, she was like she started crying she's like he's talking to me okay, sorry, I mean Justin lest you know, he feels the beat Well, because he wants you to know full 360 degree I had to put it when we saw tool I was on the end when we saw him in Philly, and I shuffled,

cause what it was, I saw this coming a mile away. It was me, Christine, Fanoia, Justin, and I was like, 10 minutes into this concert when it starts, Fanoia's gonna be like, looking at me and going like, is this motherfucker, is this the whole show? So I was like, Justin, actually, you should come over here on the end. I put him on the end.

To really give him a wide berth so he can fucking dick grab and throw that finger down. He's like that guy at the Stones concert that was dancing the whole fucking concert. Oh yeah. He needs the aisle. He needs the aisle? Justin needs the aisle.

He's an aisle fag. He took up all the space. Turn it up, dude. I mean, dancing at a concert, you're either going to kind of keep it. I keep it. I'm into it, but I am aware I'm doing what is acceptable. What concert do you dance? I don't know. Billy Joel, acceptable.

Coldplay. Billy Joel, I don't really... Coldplay Billy Joel I don't really do I mean Billy Joel play I say I would say is acceptable Billy Joel is a sit concert from a lot Of it, you know, I mean I mean Bon Jovi. I was fucking up the whole time. I don't know if it's a dance concert. Not a dance It's a stand-up. Hey, what's not a dance concert the cure? Suicide concert that was a fucking that was a hold your elbow with your opposite arm and look at the ground concert It really was I'm cold concert the whole show. Yeah, that's that's I have to cut myself to feel Christ I could go back in time. I would do that. Hey poke that fat girl holding her elbow with a knife. Is she alive?

I don't know. She didn't do anything when I did it. I've never seen max sad Except there and when we didn't get in the snake pit I would dance at that sure in sync Madonna you could dance that. Backstreet Boys, Backstreet Boys. Oh, fuck. Backstreet Boys, I would dance at that. No, not as a man, you don't.

Well, as a confident man. No. You could dance as a man a little bit. You could dance as a man a little bit to Justin Timberlake, for sure. You can't dance to a man to the, not one boy band song. Can you dance like a man to, not one boy band song can you dance like a man to not one are you crazy I'm not crazy no no I'm not saying okay what you're doing is uncomfortable for everybody

is that what you would do I'd get a I'd get an usher to check on you you put me in the aisle I'd be I beg usher I think something's happening to the man next to me. Right here, right here, this is my, I'm just feeling this. By the way, you're being terrible to your neighbors, what you're saying right now. Everything is a jetting, everything's a jetting. Are you out of your mind?

Everything's been a jetting out, almost like you're reading commercials. Hopefully they'll be jetting that way too. When they go that way, I go this way. So now you're in a choreographed routine with everybody in the audience. I don't know where Lou got the 12 inch remix over here. Bobby said this song was going to start 11 times. Bobby, you are taking a wide berth.

This is virgin. Everybody. I do this a lot. Now you've changed tempos in your own dance. Everybody. Feel it. Bobby's pointing to the sky. He's feeling the soul.

The soul of the boy is creeping into him the soul of the boy Bobby you'd be physically removed because of what the problem you've caused for the aisle you're in and then I bring it all in. I'd only be wide at the beginning. You're going to get jumped by a bunch of 45 year old wet pussied fat women.

In sync? Come on. No. Kelly Clarkson, I'd lose my fucking shit. You're going to dance to Since You've Been Gone? You're going to dance. Dude, Since You've Been gone, but the Christmas song, I mean, come on, dude. But I'm talking about dancing.

I, hand in pocket, if you're calling that kind of dancing, I do that at a lot of concerts. Really cutting loose and dancing? I can't think of a concert I've danced at. I don't think you've ever danced, have you ever cut loose and danced ever in your life? Anywhere? Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. Hang on, we're not done laughing. Of course I have. You've never cut loose. No, no. The question she should have asked was, Jay, have I ever seen you cut loose dancing? When have you cut loose dancing?

She hasn't. Almost 100% of my hotel rooms before I get dressed. Okay, we're talking about like a club or a concert or in public. I know in public it's hard to dance. I get insecure with it too. But I've done it. I've seen your isolated dancing. Buddy, in your room alone is fine, but in public it's tough.

What I'm doing in that room would get me pussy in a club. The gayest time I ever danced was in Amsterdam with Patrice. We went to a black club, a dance club. And I remember he started... he started dancing, so I started dancing with him. So it was just me and Patrice. Dancing with each other.

Me and Patrice just grooving it. And I was like, fuck it, let's go. And then I went to another club in Amsterdam, too, and it was a dance club with uh remember T-rex why do you go dancing with men so much? I don't know dude I read some DC I used to dance At the a dances too when I said when I first got sober we go to the a dances I would dance my ass off. I was terrified when I was young in school dances

So I only slow danced in school dances also. This was a time when I was young in school dances, so I only slow danced in school dances. Also, this was a time, when I was growing up, it was a time where dancing was as valuable in school as being tough. As far as being popular and getting, like, chicks. Yeah, grace. Dancing was as popular as being tough. Like, you'd get the same kind of love. So I really wasn't pulling it out because there was guys

doing the fucking splits and real like jump over their legs like kid and play stuff that I was like, there's no way I'm pulling that off at all. So I tucked my down away all these years. I tucked it away. But I'm telling you in hotel rooms, I explode. And I'm not saying I'm going to win a contest. I'm telling you, if I went on Dancing with the Stars,

they'd be like, OK, all right, Jay. Buddy, let me tell you, we should go dancing one night. No. Why? All we have to do is take that cork out of the bottle and let those little effervescence pop out. Because the things I want to do that I'm doing in a hotel, I want you to understand. Take up a little bit of space.

Know what? We can clear that fucking floor like John Travolta. We go to a disco? Buddy, we go to a dance. Guys, I love what you're saying right now. Let's go dancing, man. Let's dance. Buddy, did I ever tell you what I used to go to the seventh grade dance? I got some moves. They used to have at St. Mary go to the seventh grade dance. They used to have that St. Mary's, the seventh grade dance. And I used to go and sneak in and Carol Coughlin was her name,

blonde. I was in love with her. Love with her. And she was there and I had cigarettes, smoking cigarettes. And I was dancing, I was fucking, you know, trying to get her attention. And I was dancing so good that I got her attention and she was like hey she I think she said good moves or something like that and I Bobby she complimented me somehow she complimented me had somehow because she talked to me she never talked to me right and because we got into a thing years before we did a show and tell in the bush and she got me to show my bum, and she didn't show hers, and then they left and I got mad at her.

You were going to show each other your asses? We do her kids. We were little kids. We didn't, you know, we didn't have pubes, I don't know, right? Still. Hey, you want to compare butts? So she actually talked to me. I was so excited.

And I had a pack of cigarettes. I took a cigarette, she goes, can I get a cigarette? And I, I'll, this is the worst thing I've ever done. I went like this, I went sure. And I took a cigarette out of my pack and I went. Yeah, you warmed it to her. I warmed it to her and she went, thanks. And then just walked away and never talked to me again.

Yeah, that's brutal. Sometimes dance can go, you can go too far. You have to know the limits. No, I danced with my high school crush and she was very purposefully doing a fucking rhythm that was a little too complex for the nerve level I had right there. I wish I could go back in time.

It's the easiest thing in the world to do. With the natural given rhythm that I have, I was frozen in the moment. But we don't know that, dude. What song could you dance to right now? Shit, so many. Name one. I don't know

I'm not doing anything. I just showed you first of all I what you did was absolutely silly Yeah, and it was dance. Okay, you want me to sit here and flat my arms around like a fucking bird trying to get oil Off of it dude. First of all my dance. I'm sorry. I salted you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you Blashing out because I don't want to dance. Jay, you know you want to dance to the song. I don't. Yeah, you do. This isn't what would get me to move.

What would get you to move? Nothing. What would get you to move? I just want to hear the song. You don't have to do it. Just what song would get you to fucking move? I know you like to move your body. She does know I like to move my body. What do you listen to in your hotel room? Depends on the day. Okay, you're in your hotel room right now

You mean he's so shy He's so shy is pretty great by pointer sisters, but that's dancing a little sillier. Yeah Still good still full of rhythm but Come on, but this isn't what I mean though. Yeah. Yeah, that's that Still good still full of rhythm but Come on, but this isn't what I mean though. Yeah. Yeah, that's that that's this. That's a little body I'm right there a little more hip until when I do it. Maybe some more leg even to what you do a little spin But I'm in the shower What's nice shower do you have that you can dance around?

hotel showers No my hotel too in my in my house shower. I The dance I do the most is a Scott Weiland Hands Benadrys behind the back and maybe like a little like a very snaky kind of thing Christine if I buy a hidden camera that he can't see I'll kill you both Don't film me In the dark so we can't do we lose my song What is what is the song like? All right, you know the opening of Deadpool 3 with?

Wolverine when he the, what's that? It's Backstreet Boys. Bye Bye Bye. Is that in sync? Right? That song, I can't not feel that song. When he did that dance, I can't not kind of do the bye bye. It's a fucking, you can't, how do you not dance to that song?

Well, I'm not a female child. Okay, well that's a good point. Bye-bye-bye is not happening for my, the song, it's more in the line of like, give me the night, George Benson. Get Lucky, Daft Punk with Pharrell. That's a good one. Oh, how about Little Bruno Mars?

What's that crazy, Uptown Funk? Nope. No? Nope. No? Yeah, so all your dance moves are all in. No, it's in here. No, but- I'm not living out loud like the fucking, my room at a Marriott Courtyard somewhere.

But what is a move that like- I don't know, man. You give me a favor and just stand up. Nope. Stand up up just feel the ground Why I'm not embarrassed I don't care you're in a safe spot dude, yeah, we know you have magnificent rhythm I just want to see just shut the fuck up Can't wait to fucking hang me out to dry Christine's trying to set me up because I said this

and I mean this from the guts I could definitely dance better than Christine no fucking way from soup to nuts whole thing dude better than her is that true there's only one way to figure this out that's a challenge that's a fucking No, I was gonna say we have to learn the same routine Style Christine Christine even we do a routine Christine is a freeze-up performer Me watching her particularly she will freeze up when we first started dating She was in a musical like a dancing and singing musical and I was I was like when's the thing I want to come and she Just kept pushing it off.

He's like, this isn't a good one to come to. Until it was over, she didn't want me to see her sing and dance, because she thought I would have made fun of her. I would have. I bet when Christine dances, she's a lip-biter. Maybe. And she's a snapper.

I don't know, you know why? Because Christine doesn't dance in front of me either. Never? You don't dance in front of me? I danced at Coldplay. You didn't dance. It was a perfect dance. Okay, this is not dancing. First of all, Coldplay, she just put her arms up in the air

and cheered. What she did dance at, we all remember, some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses when she went to Rage Against the Machine. He's afraid somebody's gonna do to him what he's doing to me, so he won't dance. I just wanna say something. When you do that, the he won't dance. I just want to say something. When you do that, the forces to the crosses,

I get sick in my chest. Mm-hmm. It makes me sick in my chest. Yeah. Right here. Right below whatever this thing is right here, that bone where you're supposed to, like, bring people back to life, it makes me sick right there. Well, the bummer was I made fun of her first night for it,

so when we went to go see him again... She didn't do it again., she didn't do it damn it I had to do it Yeah, Dawn dances all the time and she came out the other day. It kind of got me going She came out in just panties and a t-shirt and she started dancing through the kitchen right early in the morning with her hair down Because she looks like a lion now It's so fucking big and fluffy and she came out and just started dancing with a little tiny shovel butt a little Asian boy ass Fucking loved it. No, I got killer moves for sure.

Can't do that split though. When I go to a wedding, I do something inside of me shuts down. Like, I feel bad because Dawn wants, I know Dawn wants to dance, but in front of family and friends, I can't dance. Me either, and definitely, listen and friends, I can't dance. Me either, and definitely, listen, you could, listen.

What? What? Oh yeah. I'll dance anywhere. I have videos, hang on. Oh yeah, Jacob, he takes it down. Like Joe List danced too much. He get, his wedding was, it was like,

dude, you started dancing. And I can only assume he looks ridiculous. He looks, why, you weren't invited? No can only assume he looks ridiculous. He looks, while you weren't invited? No. Really? I don't think so, no. I thought you were. Um. It's okay.

Anyways. I love Joe Liston and Sarah. Him and his family danced the whole wedding to where they were sweating. That was like wild to me. That's a lot. Also when you're not very good dancers, show it when you got it.

Now, I got it. I ain't showing it. But I will say, at a wedding, the... That's dancing is like... That I will do, and people have seen that plenty. The simple, like, the boppin' two-step... Fuckin' not this, but at a wedding. At a black wedding? I'm at a black wedding at this one.

But, you know, a basic little two-step bop Yeah, for sure. I'm talking about Dancing like what I don't understand show explain it to me or show me a deuce like a little bit. No Bottle used to be a dancer Filipino boy, of course that they're made to do that How can do all that like go up on his hand and grab his legs above his head. No, I can't do that. He's made to do that and sing like every white rock band.

So that's the reason now I realize I'm not doing it because Paco will judge me and he can dance. I'm not gonna be judged by you assholes. Maybe when me and Paco get alone, two dancers, I'll show them what I got. You're not, Jay. Say that this week and then next week Paco comes in, you see that I'm fucking throwing him back flips off with my foot.

He does the thing where he jumps, does the back flip and then. Well, you know, you're not going to do that to him. And then I'm going to do all his assistant stuff. Like he's going to land in a split and then I'm going to go grab his hoodie and actually I'm pulling him up when he comes up. Yeah, you're the guide cheerleader. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to toss Paco around.

I'm going to grab him a lot. I'm going to do a lot of hip touching. What is this? Is this Jacob? This is Jacob, yeah. Where is this at? Where is this? Maral's wedding. My office.

Oh my God. Make a little love. By the way, my moves are even better now. I do the motorcycle still, but I've evolved. Jacob lives life. Jacob looks like. That's right. Jacob dances like a little kid at a wedding. That's not true.

It's like, let him go. Let him go. This is why. Look at a little Jacob go. This is why Jay won't dance in the room. It is true. This is the reason. I was attacked immediately for my moves.

Well, listen, your moves are basic. I'm gonna say this. No, they're not. Dude, you're a... I guarantee I can dance better than you, Bobby. 100%. Did you just see what I freestyled? Yeah, we all saw it. I felt that from my core, dude.

I bet $7,000 on Jacob. $7,000? $7,000, seven large on Jacob. Right? Lewis and I danced for the Vegas show. That's unfair. What? You have Lewis's fucking.

Oh, he was carrying you. We think he was carrying him. Yeah, he was carrying you. We danced in unison. Yeah, Lewis was throwing you jive, making you get some energy, man. I don't think so. You're absorbing Lewis's soul. He put his soul into you.

Seven Large on Jacob takes the dance battle. Fuck yeah. I'll bet that Seven Large on Christine beating you. There's not a chance. 100%. There's not a fucking chance. Christine, you get that seven to win. Listen, I'm gonna win from default.

She's gonna quit. She's not gonna do it. Is that true, Christine? Well, freestyle dance-off? Yeah,, she's not gonna do it. Is that true, Christine? Freestyle dance off? Yeah, no, I won't do it. All right, you get to wear whatever you want when you dance. No. No?

Okay. A choreographed dance routine. She's saying you will do that, all of a sudden that, you'll perform in front of people? Do you wanna take ballroom? No. It's a battle. It's not us working in unison, but two hearts becoming one

This is a fucking versus Jane versus Christine, you know dance battle, you're not at a Jewish camp in the summer Yeah, we'll learn a routine together and then people can judge you they believed more Ridiculous now now I didn't served or I'm coming Ridiculous. No, no. You're getting served or I ain't coming. I tell you this man. This is gonna be great too because you're moving into a house and you say you're dancing in your bathroom

which is a tub. You're gonna go into a house with a no tub, right? Well there's a tub but it's unattached to the shower, yes. But you have a, do you have a shower with a? Full shower stall, yeah. Shower stall, no tub. No tub, right? Well, there's a tub, but it's unattached to the shower, yes. But you have a, do you have a shower with a? Full shower stall, yeah. Shower stall, no tub? No tub. No tub, listen.

Oh, real dance room there for sure. Listen, my shower, dude, we and you both could dance. I'm concerned about it. You understand what I'm saying? I made that shower to dance. For two people to dance? To dance. Yeah, and by the way, dancing on tiles is pretty great.

Oof, it's great. It's pretty great dancing on tiles. It's great. It's pretty great dancing on tiles. Dude, we should dance on tiles. Paco, as a fellow dancer, what's your favorite Florida dance song? I would say linoleum. Linoleum, so I was going to say, too. Cardboard is second.

Cardboard does work pretty good, as far as pop locking. That's a different type of dance, though. That's break dancing. Yeah, we're talking dance. Well, I like to walk in a memory lane. Do you remember the time we tried to get DJ Lou to simply dance with his feet only shuffle dancing? And he panicked at the first count.

He kicked one foot out and quit immediately. It's the fastest, funniest video I've ever seen in my life. Do we have that, Christine? Buddy, I don't. We gave him one line in a song for Christmas and he fucking failed. I forgot how hard you whiffed that. I mean you're the only one had a cue you had a cue It was such a long wait and I bugged out in both cases. I had a little panic attack Bobby you fucked up the song too. I did fuck up the song because of you cuz I threw you off you threw me off

All right, that's you're a selfish performer guys. Don't worry I brought it all back with with putting Christine face in the glass. It unified the room. It really did. Thank God you did that. Much like me beating her in a dance battle would really unify the room. Christine, we could do this dance battle on the Gaza border and probably bring that whole thing to an end. Paco, what do I have to Google to find videos of you dancing? Of me? Yeah.

Of Paco? Oh, there's some videos about me dancing. What was your dance name? Yah-bay, oh sorry. Yah-bay yellow. Yah-bay yellow. I knew it. Those could be chinky japs. Why yellow? I'm kidding. Just call him volcano, something Hawaiian, what would your dance name be?

Big J come on It's gonna be something cool big jizzy. He's got fucking yabay yellow big jizzy big jizz. He's good. Yeah, Yahweh. Yeah, just God Because you take the name of God and offend some people I'll be Yahweh I mean I want to be stinger K Wow, you like that? I like it and offend some people. I'll be Yahweh. I'll be, I wanna be Stinger K. Wow. You like that? I like it, but you said it, you were asking us all the question because you've had this in your head for a while.

And you, could you just blur it out? You didn't even wait for us to go, do you have one Bobby, you would do? And you didn't even do a thought. You went, you go, what would your dance name be? Mine's would be Stinger K. I've had it since sixth grade. Christine taking advantage of having an

Asian in house. Hey Paco, while you're here just fix this computer. Can you defragment this? Hey you have a cousin somewhere overseas that could probably handle this? Is this him? Wow. I mean this is this is breakdancing. Oh, Paco. That's not him, you're racist. That's just another Asian. Okay, this is you. This is you. Paco, but how are you dancing and everybody watching?

Wow. This explains your outfits. Yeah. Paco, those jeans stretchy because Did you get those jeans off Collie Simon? What look at him go, huh? He's pretty good dude. I gotta admit whatever that thing was Monkey oh Cart we all that thing. Oh

Elbow sit on the side of his head again. Yeah. Oh back thing snap it pop push underneath Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I mean, I'm at a breath dude that's in some high school gym. Yeah, no, you know, we rented the gym out tonight It was a little past high school Community Center. Oh, yeah community cell of the Philippines, which is a Filipino community school the church and the police station The parents to make some sort of a seaweed soup while the kids would all break dance in the other room. Oh, come get your spam. Oh, time for seaweed soup.

That's like, breaking two, they try to save the community center with their dance. God damn right, dude. Oh, now listen, I think we can get even Christine out of her shell to dance publicly if we could save a community center. Is there a dying community center in New York, Christine, see that we could help out here? Paco will lead the charge, which is when we think save a community center. Is there a dying community center in New York Christine? See that we could help out here. Paco will

lead the charge. Just when we think that they hate us, we'll have Paco come headline. We wouldn't save it, they'd actually rip it down faster. No, I'm telling you, we could raise tens of thousands of dollars if we get DJ Lou doing a worm. You get DJ Lou doing a worm across the stage, for sure we will raise a lot of money. I promise I won't bug out in panic. Well panic all you want just do it while you're wormin. Nothing you gotta remember there it'll be me and Bobby yelling the word worm at you until you do it. Worm Lou! Worm! The video of him failing on the Christmas show is the greatest ever. Did you find the other thing, Christine?

You find him fucking up the shuffle dance? What was your line in the show, by the way? I play the sound effects. Yeah, that's it. I play the sound effects. And he had a... and the song goes... Ting, ding. It was the only line that had a cue, ready to go. And Lou just...

And I just looked over over he was like this staring straight upper and bottom teeth exposed I knew it was time to sing but nothing was happening I knew it was here did the rehearsal you had ever wasn't getting it at the right never once got it I studied yet you got Emily was not mouth he was I still didn't get it. You got Emily Bluntmouth? Jay was patient. He wasn't getting it. Everyone else had to follow somebody. I had to sit in silence and instrumental to that ting.

You waited for a ting. It hypnotized me when it hit. But then there was a ting and you just sat there. And we all looked at you and we were like, we knew we were going to make it. Seven heads looked left. I was still looking at you when I missed my line No, I looked you and started singing the line with you I did stage mom do

Well, it doesn't matter you make all up for it when we save the community center cuz of your worm Lou, it doesn't matter. You make all up for it when we save the community center because of your worm. Individually your worm. Yeah, and we get to choreograph dance numbers. Christine, I'll ballroom dance with you to save the community center, but... We break off from that ballroom dance at the end and it's versus. And then I'll battle Jacob in freestyle. You battle Jacob in freestyle for sure. Freestyle.

That's all I do. Oh my god Bobby He's making me so confident in this 7k. I put down on him. You don't know who I am do you? No, you don't know who I am. Jay knows who I am. Stinger K. Stinger K. I'm not gonna fuck with you I'm not gonna lie to you. Christine. I'm betting on you, but I'm not gonna lie to you. You are fucking with Stinger K Google Stinger K. See what comes up. What if I was a star in the Philippines? Oh, that's so great, dude. You're like, fucking yeah, looking for Sugarman?

Should I get started for Sugarman? Bobby's a dance star in fucking Norway. The Kia Stinger, that's the thing you're talking about. That's what I drive up in. Kia Stinger, Stinger K's in the K Stinger. I will say that you both said that you were confident slow dancers in school. Totally. That was the one thing that I danced slow danced once with a girl in seventh grade and popped a full boner.

It was the worst moment. It was so embarrassing. Did you say seventh grade or seven months ago? Seventh grade. Okay. I was so, yeah. In school, I could slow dance well, but it used to just be side to side thing for the longest. And then fucking Janessa Farighelli, dude, she threw fucking a one, two, one, one at me and it just fucked my night up.

I was focused too much. I didn't say a word to her. I was staring at the side of her head while she talked to her friends. I was not catching that one-one. What the fuck? I wasn't catching the one-one. I was one-two. I'm like, what, it was every other?

And then it's this side this time. And I'm overthinking it, and then it fucked up. Then I took a professional picture with another guy's girlfriend and told people at my dad's house it was my girlfriend. We all gotta do what we gotta do, Jay. We all gotta do what we gotta do, Jay. Yeah. We all gotta do what we gotta do, kid.

Hey, man. Here's what it is. Yeah, oh, man. I'll tell the whole world that story and will not. Damn, I mean, it's my... Listen, we talked about this, Bobby. Yeah. It's my dream for me, you, and three other black guys

to get on stage in white suits and do the new edition if it isn't Love Dance from the Apollo. It seems doable. It seems possible. I know with my gift of rhythm, I can handle it. I would worry about my partners being in concert with me. You don't have to listen to me. I know you just saw my moves, but I want you to understand bro, that was freestyle.

Yeah, yeah, no I know you get Stinger K in the studio for sure, no you're gonna nail it. Yeah dude, Stinger K don't mess around. I don't think Christine, I don't know if Christine can nail her, I'm not saying she can't nail it. She does not perform. I just think Christine has it in her, but she won't let it out of her. For sure? I think she has it in her. I think she has it in her, but she won't let it out of her. For sure. I think she has it in her.

I think she has it in her, too. I just think she has it in her less than I do. I think I'm a better dancer. I think she has it in her more than you, and that's why she's afraid of releasing it, because she might, in her late 30s, decide to have a career of dance and follow that passion. And she's afraid of that tsunami of just emotion

and creativity to come out of her. She's holding it back. Christine, I would support you if you quit everything to go pursue dance. I support you anyway. She's coming home every day sweating with a bandana around her forehead. All day.

I can finally pursue my lifelong dream of being a professional dancer. Yeah. Now this is the right time dream of being a professional dancer. Yeah. Now this is the right time now, because your bones are set now. Hahaha! No, it's good. Your bones are fully grown. Your soft spot's grown over. You're ready to rock, girl. Ooh!

Hahaha! Yeah. I don't know what they're doing there. You see the kids of the block are back on tour and they're doing all their dance moves again and it's pretty funny just to see Jordan Knight out of breath with his little belly popping out of his skinny jeans My boy, I follow him on Instagram is to my greatest thing ever just seeing him out of breath with his little my little 50 pot belly coming out my boy my boy D walls told me he's keeping him in good shape though who?

Hello, Donnie Walpert What do you call him? You weren't here, you told me at the end of the thing to call him D.Wallace. It makes me fucking angry that. Look, I'm friends with Jimbo. I don't care, dude, we're messaging, it's so what. So what, me and him message on IG a little bit,

me and Donnie Wahlberg. Are you fucking talking to him? No. Okay. Did you, does he know about me? No. What? No.

When he was on, did you mention me? Yes. And what did you say, how did you bring me up? You had other stuff you had to do that morning. No? No. When he was on, did you mention me? Yes. And what did you say? How did you bring me up? You had all the stuff you had to do that morning. No, no. And I said, you know, bump me up because my buddy's a, I said,

my partner on the show is a Boston guy too. And I said, he goes, who? I was like, I was like, oh, could be Robert Kelly. And he was like, and he went, oh. What? And then he like moved on quick from it, but. Did you bring up other things? Yeah, I was like, oh, if Bobby was here,

he would probably know what you're talking about in this very Boston-centric story. You guys would probably bond so much. and he just moved on quick from it. But... Did you bring up other things? Yeah, I was like, oh, if Bobby was here, he would probably know what you're talking about in this very Boston-centric story. You guys would probably bond so much, it's too bad that he had, and I think his quote was, anything else to do this morning. No. Where was I?

You were up in the mountains, and everyone signed up. You were interviewing Lance Bass, Cross Town. No, where was I? You were shooting your show that that can't be talked about. Oh yeah yeah yeah. What'd you call it? Campy Talk? Yeah the show that we don't talk about which we do not speak. It's not called Campy Talk. Can't be talked about. I mean listen I just got a phone call about it. So whatever Norton saw in those woods man. Made him quit serious sex on radio. Made Yamanica lose around a hundred. Yamanica dropped weight Jim hasn't been the same ever since. Bobby Lee's normal. Jim's wife goes Jim you haven't slept in weeks. Jim I Notice you haven't been sleeping You've been sucking my packer less

Jamie Lee Curtis Help me with my oop sack Yeah, she's Swedish right? No Same thing though Some place where Phil Collins likes to live probably Wow Lou had it Thank you so much So this is a couple years back we were gonna do a

shuffle day EDM shuffle dancing if you could show Lou an example what EDM shuffle dancing is or show Bobby rather EDM shuffle dancing it's just all foot motions that we're saying it's pretty stupid you know what it is right Paco you're a fellow dancer I know if I'm explaining it to what you what it is I know Paco I'm stinger Paco you what it is. I know Paco I'm stinger Paco. He gets an ego when I try to tell him about dance stuff Can you as a fellow dancer explain to him for EDM shuffle dancing? It's very simple shuffle dancing is where you aggressively stomp your feet in place

But you are sliding it from front to back so it looks like you're kind of moving fast, but in place Yeah, so it's shuffled. I do that on water. It's right here, look. It's this dumb shit. Paco, can you do this? Because I'll tell you what, and this is embarrassing. I'm gonna tell you an embarrassing thing.

I don't know why I haven't told this before though. It's pretty funny. If you look in my YouTube history through time, you will see there is, I've trying to find the best tutorial video to do And I've eight names for this the happy feet some things called the shuffle dance So but it's the something where you make your feet go and like they go out and into the other side What is it?

No, I don't think so No, no, no, that's kid and play Now this is Christine look up happy feet dance, please. I want to do this so bad. I Can do this no problem, dude. I've done this Oh well, just you know we thought so all of us can do it and and then DJ Lou We all gave it a little try and then we said hey DJ Lou Would you give us give us a little show show us what does what you're working with here? See if you can pinpoint when the confidence leaves my body

Yeah, this is great Christina go back to We got from the beginning Okay, here we go ready on turn the volume up That's the whole video he takes one leap forward and he goes, I don't know, I don't know, and quit. He put on sunglasses? Wait a minute. He prepared himself for the whole thing. I think I missed it. You did miss it. No, can you play it again, please? Yeah. Hang on. What?

What the fuck? By the way, look how hard we're laughing. When it gets over to me, I'm hysterical. What the fuck? Start from the beginning again. If you blink, you'll miss it. What the fuck? It's one of the best videos of all time. I've never seen somebody's soul leave their body. It's a great first step though, come on. I mean, God, Christ only knows what that was leading to.

His hands didn't know his feet gave up yet. Did you see that? His mind was the first thing to give up. His hands were like, oh, we're not doing this. His mind was the first check out. When he leaned forward, his mind went, I'm not doing any more than this, but his body was already moving that direction. And then his feet were like, okay, we're not doing this. doing it his hands like are we sure we're not doing this guy's good

I've watched this guy do it a lot. He's doing what I'm talking about Paco. Is that dusty sleigh sort of He shows you how to do it, and I'm telling you I haven't even tried cuz I'm like I'm gonna fucking Fall in a hotel room like a dope. I'll do this in two seconds. Okay, by all means please He's wearing pants like you, Bobby. Sorry, why is that? God damn it, Christine! Yeah. You're down one pivin now.

You're negative one pivin. No, no, no, Jake. You cut it off at my favorite shuffle part. No, look, there's a search bar for some reason covering his feet. I was trying to get rid of that. Oh. Here.

I can't believe she's terrified of the pivin, exactly what you wanted to be. Yes. Did you hear her? She went no no now watch me does it Now he's doing something Yes Does it look so simple I can do it. No, you can't I'll do it right now You can't though out over Paco you familiar with this Not really but it seems simple enough doesn't it Be showing you over and over it's heel up. That's it dude Christine how facing you figure that out

You Bobby show me one more time you get one more time only don't call me Bobby sorry stinger Kay You get one more time only don't call me Bobby. Sorry stinger Kay You already don't know what he's done. He's doing he's going in and out, but then it switches to one in one Bobby you're breaking equipment Bobby. This is all rental stuff. You're not doing it Sure, I'm certain You do that on a dance floor though, you look like a flapper girl from the 20s when he tried that yeah No, Bobby's definitely Bobby's putting on the rich. I don't know what's going on over there Something how I want to love, how I wanna love ya. I didn't want to do it.

You made me love you. I didn't wanna do it. I felt like I was doing it. Jacob and Paco, as two fellow dancers, do you...get out of this, Christine, go back to that. Do you agree if you pull this off anywhere where you're dancing, people are gonna be like, all right.

I'd be happy with that, yeah. A little bit, yeah. Just a little bit? I would definitely say if you're more to the white side, you'd be very impressed. Yeah. So what is it? The heels go out, the heels.

I can't explain it. I could watch it a hundred times and not explain it to you again. He slow motions it, but then he doesn't do what he does in the slow motion. He doesn't, because what's happening is he's doing both at the same time, but then when he speeds it up He's doing one in one out one in one out. It's yeah, he'll in toll at the same time, but the opposite feet

So what his heel and his like if his left heel is moving as Paco can make it look pretty good It's gonna infuriate me So if his left heel is moving out his right foot toe is moving in at the same time. And then you switch. So it's like this. And then you bounce. That is cocksucker. Nailed it.

That was sick, actually. That was actually so sick. Hey, settle down. This is not the Philippines. This is America. Give me the camera, Paco. I'm filming you. Which one do I grab?

Paco nailed it immediately. I prefer a humble dancer, but that was great. Yeah. That was nuts. That was nuts. Paco, show them the moves. You got it so fast. Oh, it is kind of, you're going to go fast?

Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, I got it right here. You nailed it. No. I got it right here. I like weird straining so hard Bobby relax your face I Know shit you made everyone anxious with your terror face. Yeah, I was worried. I was going down Is he going to be losing consciousness? I should say something. I had the same feeling inside that he had you shouldn't have I did It looked way different, but you put a lot more effort in

You put a lot more effort in. You put a lot more effort in. Damn, Paco got that immediately. He's Filipino. Yeah. They have gifts. Yeah, they do. They do. They can sing like anybody. They do awesome karaoke.

You can wheelbarrow your family behind you. Yeah, then how to kill a person on the ritz. Wow. Yes! Just got yourself a Piven my man. You're goddamn right you're good. You're goddamn right you're good. Fuck! That was awesome. I was so proud of him.

Now we have to take a break. We have one to two rad reads today. I wish there was a, there's no try Piven? There's no E for effort Piven? I'm gonna give you the loner. I don't want the loner. That's Christine's No, it's several people's it's hers

All right, listen, I'm not negative right you are you're negative. Oh, you're negative one pivot I shouldn't be shit now you are for bringing that up. She should remember how excited I was to watch that shuffle dance Then you flip to the next video Remember when I lost my goddamn mind over that she was trying down one pivot she's negative one pivot I want a real pivot and I don't want the loner pivot state your case listen I thought I tried maybe I didn't succeed but I tried rocket you know what the face for the content the face alone a content pivot. That's a content pivot right there god damn it God effing damn it

You got it Anything to retrieve that pivot for the guy who throws the pivot and maybe you should have a pivot taken away for your throws What the fuck is wrong with you two Two days. Okay, that's fair. I'm negative one pivin. That's fair. Because I tell you, it's two days in a row that I've fucking whiffed that throw. And part of being the person who controls the pivins is being able to send it. I should be able to send this around the cameras to you.

You should send it to Christine and have her come back, her just miss it, and then come back to you and catch it and go, no, not yet. I'll learn that before Christine can beat me in a dance-off.