The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dangerous Comedy

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

Big Jay is attacked on stage at an outdoor comedy show in Pennsylvania. Dan and Jay discussed The Discovery Channel’s odd programming theme on this year’s, “Shark Week.” ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hey, I'm Big J. Operson, and I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire, SXM.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Hi, this is DJ Liu and welcome to the bonfire. Best of the week, Crackle Crackle. On Tuesday's show, Joe DeRosa goes over Big J's house to join the gang face-to-face as J tells the story of him getting attacked on stage while performing in some fucking shit town Pennsylvania. Enjoy. Last week, as you know, Jake got called out of the bullpen for a show in Pennsylvania. It's supposed to be Lewis, Jay Gomez and Dave Smith doing an old souljoule gig. They made the parking lot outside like a sand thing.
Starting point is 00:01:01 They had like 200 tons of sand brought in and they basically made the parking lot look sort of like a beach area. Cool. And everybody brings their own like you just bring your chairs, you're gonna watch like a baseball game or something. So that's what I heard. So I heard so high. And then the stage is like so the stage is like a five feet high I'd say roughly and it's like it's a tractor trailer like on its side or something I said right? It's an 18 wheeler on its side. It's like five feet up in the air. Yeah, that's how I mean It was five and a half feet up actually so I keep hearing is Souljohn's got these outdoor shows Vecchi owned does him Sean Donnelly did it and if you're it did it What that?
Starting point is 00:01:39 We've known Joel for years so you sub in for a soul Joel show David Dave had the cancels so I told Louis I'd go do with him. So then I am at the stand and Christine just sends me that first grainy video. And at first I'm like, that's Jay. Is that Louis behind Jay? So all that you tell the story. I just got a video and I was like, what is this? Yeah, everyone was super worried, which was interesting. Yeah, there was a show. I said it was set up very nice. I saw my friend Liz came out with a friend that watched the show. You remember Liz from the last factory?
Starting point is 00:02:16 I probably haven't seen her in a couple years, even in like, the Warriors Ward? Like, something like, you know, like, Nars Tant, one of those like aerosols. God, I love when you got, when you pencil a some of any people to start throwing out your random hamlets It's all just like yeah, it's just the always she lived she living Grotto's brought usville or she over in a lot of birds. Yeah Moccusburg She Moccusburg. No, she's she's flanness bird. Yeah, flanness birds and towns
Starting point is 00:02:41 Yeah, whatever's town yeah a lot of birds Yeah, oh man moorford. Yeah, whatever's town. Yeah, a lot of firds. Yeah, bird town. Oh, man, moe referred. Yeah, no, I went to moe referred central. I would have known him. Tell you what, dude, wall walls were in like water out there. Oh, it's where the guy did it. Make a left and not find a wall wall.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Oh, Lee, those people are born and bred off gas station sandwiches. I just, I earned my wall wall that night. Wasn't going to get wall wall, but I talked to him the and I was like, you should go wall wall. I'm gonna. So you go down for the gig, you drive Lewis or he meets you there. I drive with him. Okay. Me and Lewis drive down with Zach. Chris. Shout out Zach. Meek. Zach. Meek. And we got there. So the setup was a bunch of fans like you know there's a good amount of people there 150 200 people maybe Watching the show was great a lot of skanks t-shirts clear clear fan when Lewis got on stage you can see his fans Everyone's excited lose where the glasses on stage
Starting point is 00:03:46 No, he broke the glasses. Oh, yeah, they fell in the fire. He has like clear ones now. I don think so now. I was wondering that I said He would for sure. Yes, of course he would he for sure would yeah, but he uh while he was on stage This lady and it turns out her brother. I guess we're walking to Portopates. Yeah, mm-hmm And try me. By the way, how were the lady and her brother? The girl was 24 girl was 24 girls 24 the brothers probably a little bit older big guy though the brother yeah okay yeah so like The over time was funny is like you almost see the guy like kind of giving her like the he's a drunk He's like he's like chill out, but she's like walking through the audience doing like that
Starting point is 00:04:21 I can't fucking believe I was laughing at it. I can't fucking believe everyone So she's a young white lady. I've uh, I've been seeing a little bit, you know, I go on the skanks reddit once a while Uh, when I'm bored and I saw the pictures they they posted pictures of the lady nice Oh, and she uh, yeah, dude. I'll show you here. Yeah, I'll yeah, I can find a clue So oh, so you have the pictures? Oh, okay So she is definitely one of those women. She's I don't think she's hot. I think she is bar hot. I think she is Yeah, I think you like you look at these words. That's a rose word Words right
Starting point is 00:04:59 The Rosa would definitely smash What does that mean? I mean she was a young hot chick. There's nothing being taken away from the girls. Looks like she was just like a psychic. She's okay. She's okay. Oh, she packs on the makeup and in the clothes. I see what she's doing.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yeah. I see the, I see the, I see the slight of hand. The little fatale. It really, it really made me laugh. Because on the, on the Skanks thread, they called her a fat trickster and it really made me laugh. It really, that fucking made me laugh hard out loud. Just the thought of someone going this fat trickster.
Starting point is 00:05:29 That said, she is a certifiable pig lunatic. Yeah. I mean, no, listen, by the way, the reason I'm talking shit about her is because I already know where and why, the how this story goes, and where it goes. But my question is, so she's walking through and her brother is with her, she's just screaming out like, why is this funny to any of you?
Starting point is 00:05:47 Like that kind of yelling? Like that kind of, no, no, yeah, not to me, but she's like, yes, like the general broad. It's like, I fucking hate Pennsylvania so fucking much. And who are laughing and the brothers Lewis on or are you on? What joke did you say that was that she was reacting to me? This is Lewis Lewis. But what did Lewis say that you was telling a story at the time about i don't think christine fully is gonna know exactly what was talking about no i jim telling you because i went and talked to your friend Lewis was
Starting point is 00:06:15 telling his story about he was going into on the story about sucking the fake dildo with bobby kelly yes the what he was talking about she stood up and she goes as he's starting that story they're all racist they're all racist nothing and even been said with Bobby Kelly, but just the what he was talking about. She stood up and she goes, as he's starting that story, they're all racist. They're all racist. There's nothing it even been said to you. It was, I went to your friend that was there
Starting point is 00:06:30 to ask her, I go, did Lou, I thought she was saying about rape, their pro-rape. I was like, Lou, it wasn't even telling a rape joke. Like, what's she winging out about? Yeah, I got you. Yeah. Excuse me, John. That's that.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Paises? Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah. So, so she's just winging out at, Jesus drunk. All right. She's drunk. That's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Different hold on they're in different portopies yelling at each other. Yeah, like yelling calm down That should be their white trash family crest and the dad was like get out of there Speak it through plastic what only yields and blood and that's a bad scene too, dude when Two people that old their dad is still reprimanding them in public as if he's dealing with No, I know I know that I'm just trying to give anything. Yeah, I mean, this guy, you're yelling at your kids and their adults to stop being drunk
Starting point is 00:07:31 and throwing you seen. Yeah, that's bad. You're not a good look at all. Well, brother, it seemed to me, at least, was, like, hammered, but he didn't seem to be like, he's like almost going to his sister like it seems he has much more of like a relax like it's right he's kind of like they're just making jokes or whatever i think it's a fucking disgusting but they she like he even gets hurt a laugh at one point yeah like the brother says something that makes her kind of like
Starting point is 00:07:59 get like a joe right alright so it's like she just have like this goofy melt out. And then she goes back to her seat, but she's like standing bent over with her back to Lewis, like talking to her family the whole time, saying something to that. Yeah, I have a question. I have a question. With all due respect to my dear friend Joel,
Starting point is 00:08:18 why the fuck is he not throwing her out at this point? Why is he not saying miss? She got to go, you can't do this. He said in the art, there's some miscuses in the article for sure on page six whatever article but what that came out That was saying like he did come up to me. He's like hey, give me a nod if you want me to kick anybody out And I said if I want to kick anybody out like I don't have to like it. All right I was like I don't have to give you a signal like I'll tell you I can't be the be right But for sure what is happening to a degree is in fairness to Joel, but the truth is
Starting point is 00:08:47 like these people have come to his whole festival that he's wearing. The regulars. The regulars. The parents. The parents are. The kids are the kids. Okay. Now I got it.
Starting point is 00:08:59 And you know it's weird. It shows you the immaturity of the kids that it's like the parents saying where the like your dad wants to go see the comedians tonight and they're like I don't even care about comedy why are we doing this I got it certainly that's for you that make sure you're like Jules now got a predicament can't I got it I got it he can't just toss him he goes listen I'm not gonna give you a suboxin unless you come to comedy show he absolutely could have tossed him he did it would have been his call but but in fairness to him
Starting point is 00:09:24 like I keep saying in my mind of, of course, the way I go, I'm like, oh, I hope they're there. I want to ask about it. Right. He did ask me about tossing it, because I was standing in the back and I actually said Jay would probably rather like go back and forth and he'll tell them gone until I got to him.
Starting point is 00:09:38 That's how, how, how, why did it was outside while Lewis is on stage? It went from Lewis. It went from pretty much like to dark. OK. So she's standing up. Is it dark when she's like standing up bent over talking was outside while Lewis is on stage. From Lewis, it went from pretty much light to dark. Okay. So she's standing up. Is it dark when she's like standing up bent over talking to her family?
Starting point is 00:09:49 I have pictures of Lewis on stage. Getting darker for sure. Okay. It wasn't fully dark until Jay was on stage. Okay. See how light out it was. So that's actually the girl right there before she was standing up.
Starting point is 00:10:03 So now? Where? Right there. Oh man, she's got a real, she had that wet hair, That's actually the girl right there before she was standing up. So now where right there? She's got a real she had that wet hair Sweater look of a real slut So now you're right not being who knows you're ready to go on stage basically you've said I'll let you know if I need you to get rid of them and now you go on no one's even then He was just asking anybody in general's like because there's another guy. It's like a big fan who kept sort of interrupting Lewis,
Starting point is 00:10:27 but it was all like fan, he was hammered. Yeah, so he's just like, yeah, go man, 2020. Yeah, yes. Realize like, dude. Sure. Oh, that's up, but he doesn't mean any harm. So I certainly am not like, don't just blindly boot that guy out. Let me see if I can even have, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:10:42 Lewis have different energies even on stage. So maybe when I go up there, I can kind of have more of like, hey, you know, Lewis is cool with you doing like those call and response things, like he probably won't do it for me. He didn't. I don't call that guy being any kind of an issue. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And so when I get on stage, the girl sitting in her chair is on her phone completely. And I was, you know know busing Lewis's balls But I was like for a visual for people that are listening I just Christine show me a picture of the girl sitting in the audience and she has completely that like slutty wet hair look, you know that you get you know how you do that in your joke Yeah, can you see her type ponytail puffy and puffy and that puffy in the back like curly wet Yeah, curly wet. It's also a neck tattoo Neck tattoo, she's got what she's like dragged off.
Starting point is 00:11:27 She just looks like a problem. She looks like that her berry gets juiced when she watch men fight. You know what I mean? She looks like slamming into each other. She's, oh mama's got human pain. I'm telling you, Adam and Eve going. I'm telling you, when you hear this goes,
Starting point is 00:11:43 you'd say honestly, like you can make an argument that this girl should be definitely heavily medicated if not institutionalized. She also might be heavily medicated. That might be why she's so off the track. Yeah, that's absolutely true. She could be your real nose. She could be bipo. So, I'm just talking to her and I'm doing the thing I do is I start busing Lewis's balls
Starting point is 00:12:02 but I go, Lewis is a testament testament how funny you are, dude because You're you're killing with this crowd, you know, I mean like your crowds laughing so hard and like so much so at whatever your jokes are that she doesn't like The crowds laughing so hard that she denounced the entire state of Pennsylvania just based off of That of the reaction to your joke of the reaction of your jokes the entire thing so I go I'll think that's pretty impressive and then I asked her Like what you from miss And I you know she's clear enough pencil mania she goes
Starting point is 00:12:36 Reading I was like we pencilvania wait till you're in pencil vain like I have trashed publicly trashed Arizona Several times several times and I'm a college there, and I really enjoyed it. She's doing that, I'm gonna do the towny thing of like I'm better than this town. I didn't understand. You're from the town that you're trashing, it's always why I had,
Starting point is 00:12:53 it's why I had that weird thing when Brendan Shob came on the bonfire. And I was like, a roar of man, and he's like, yeah, and I was like, don't do that, you're supposed to be like, it's a shit hole, but it's my shit hole. It's like, when you shit on where you're from, it's kind of a weird. She actually ended up doing an old joke
Starting point is 00:13:09 based off of what she was saying. I'm not saying that her sentence didn't make sense saying, I hate fucking hate Pennsylvania. I just thought she said it with such a nose up to it when I saw her say it. That I was like, she's here visiting from fucking, I think even somebody said, I think they're here from California or something.
Starting point is 00:13:24 I thought that was gonna be interesting. You know that remember when that was late Maybe she's from renting California. No, no, this was they were from Pennsylvania All right, you know what that is that used to be a thing that was I feel like way more prominent or it happened more Where people from like New York City or California would go to like a Wyoming or even a Denver and they'd just be like this is What is this you guys don't have anything. You guys are all racist, no people. No, it's the fucking, it's when the European goes. You're also a medic.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Yes. Fuck yourself. That's the perfect, that's the perfect thing. It was, whatever it was, it just made me laugh. And then she was like, I fucking hate this place. And I was like, well, like, you know, as I was sitting, like you're an hour and, you're an hour and a half, two hours in New York and an hour to fill you. I'm like, you know, stop, stop
Starting point is 00:14:10 being like this Bruce Springsteen song. Like, oh, I can do work in the factory. My brother, his score to me, he's to the port of potty. And I don't like the races. My daddy working the coal mine and his daddy daddy. Only comedy club was outside of the sand Yeah Listen in the jokes under that covert sky We wanted was a roof over our head for the punch line Get some tea hey get some tea water from the well Let's you know what used to make here licensed plate holders.
Starting point is 00:14:47 People, you don't do it anymore. Delays this plate over to Capital the World. So again, I'm not doing, and what's funny is, during this time, I'm just kind of going back and forth with it a little bit like, I'm being very like light with her. I'm just kind of like, I'm just laughing with it.
Starting point is 00:15:00 And she's like, when you do a very good job, something I love about your crowd work is, you do a very good job of, laughing with and she's like, when you do a very good job, something I love about your crowd work is you do a very good job of genuinely saying nice things as you lead them to the thing that's gonna make everyone laugh.
Starting point is 00:15:12 We're like, you're a beautiful woman. Where are you here? You know, like, where you gonna be like, Oh, you're all, you're like, do these things where they're like, yeah, I don't know. She's like, suck, suck, six decks and go, whoa, and everyone's like, oh man, but.
Starting point is 00:15:24 If you call it as it is, dude, it's good. It goes, yeah, you're pretty chick, but anyway, I was like, I suck six dicks. I'm like, whoa! And everyone's like, oh man. I'm gonna call, if you call it as it is, dude, it's good. It goes, yeah, you're pretty chick. But anyway, I was like, say it. I'm like, she was like, no, I like you, but I fucking, I go, I like you too. What's the problem with the people here? And she's like, and she's like,
Starting point is 00:15:38 she was, do you support Trump? And I was like, no, but I'm like, but what differences does that make? That's what I'm starting to hate and calm. And right there was my, that was the first thing in the thing with her where I was like, I have but I'm like, what difference does that make? That's what I'm starting to hate and calm. And right there, I was like, that's the first thing in the thing with her where I was like, ah, fuck, here we go. Yeah. Because she goes, do you like Trump?
Starting point is 00:15:50 And I was like, no, or I support Trump. I was like, no, I was like, but I don't, what is that difference that make here? I don't care. Either way, let's assume I did. Let's say I did what's making this moment different right now. And she was like, everyone who fucking likes Trump
Starting point is 00:16:04 is a racist. Well, here's the thing. And it's just like this whole, everyone who fucking likes Trump is a racist. Well, here's the thing. And it's just like this whole thing and she's saying everyone there is racist. When Nackerel says that, you're like, oh, you have something that you want to get across right now. It's just what all this in the world is about to her. Yeah. And people, I listen to take what she's saying to decipher sort of what she's saying is Lewis is a guy who makes harsh jokes, he's making them directly to the fan base. They're laughing at them. You are all pieces of shit. You laugh that's not true. It's not whatever, you know what I mean? Like half of the people screaming like that are
Starting point is 00:16:37 tears there are like something wrong with them. Just making like the I need to stand like I need to be the person to stand up here and stop this from happening. Now here's the thing she didn't do I start talking to her. Right. In fact, when I mentioned the whole thing about this lady, he went through this whole thing screaming over by the bathroom that she hates Pennsylvania and all this kind of stuff. And then when I finally said her, I go, where are you actually from sweetie? And I was like, miss, where are you from?
Starting point is 00:16:58 And she looked at me from which goes, who me? And I was like, did you not know you're the person? Like, you know that I'm the person. I said someone was just screaming I hate Pennsylvania. You didn't know I was talking about you. But that's the person like you know that the person I said someone was just screaming I hate Pennsylvania you didn't know what was talking about you, but that's yeah, I do I fucking hate this play But that's also the selfishness of what she's doing. She's not trying to fucking prove a point. She's like who me? Oh, I don't know. I was like y'all shit a y'all shit and then like people deal with it. Well, and now I'm speaking my truth They've been giving you're true. You're a fucking asshole. They've been given they've been giving a
Starting point is 00:17:24 Defcon for fucking button to hit Yeah, every self-centered baby now has a newcom button. They can hit yeah Like and it's all just about their own little childish cheerleader bullshit Yeah, so as soon as you disagree and I'm a baby. I can go you're racist You know like okay, so you just you just decimated me. There's nothing I can say now the reason those people annoy me so much and Jay Seeing this fucking almost every episode we've ever done the bonfire will you be like, Dan? That's not correct And I'll be like yeah, that's probably not correct I just I can be wrong about stuff and I'll I can be corrected and I think a lot of people are forgetting that like
Starting point is 00:18:00 That's what learning is is like you think something is one way and you find out different You're like for the life of me, especially when she said she liked me, which I thought was a good thing, all to you, I was like, oh, let me explain to her why she's just like you're being so emotional about something that deserves zero of your emotion. It doesn't deserve your emotion.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Like you don't have to get this wound up about you. It's ridiculous. You're like, we're in a fucking sand covered parking. Right. And I do want to tell the things that led up exactly to the thing. No, because she said something about like everyone's like everyone here thinks rape is funny or is pro right. I said something about that and then everyone's racist, which I debunked that, but she was writing on that. Well, so you know what she's doing is she's giving you the things that like make clear
Starting point is 00:18:40 villains. She's like everyone here likes rape. Everyone here's racist. Everyone here thinks children should be murdered. That's what I'm saying. It's a nuke button. You can hit to just make yourself the say. It's like, what are you supposed to say to that? It's like when a, when a sober person goes, you know, you're in denial and you go, I'm not in denial. I don't think I'm an alcoholic. That's denial. Not in denial though. That's denial. Are you saying? Okay. What are we doing? I mean, listen, when I said you're in denial though, you know that but that's denial are you saying? Okay, what are we doing? I sure I listen when I said you're in denial. I was just saying you're hurting a lot of people close to you That I know I'm doing It's getting dark at this point so I can't even see them too well. Yeah, I see her she wearing that white sweater so I could see
Starting point is 00:19:21 You know who she is she's wearing that white, let me keep my kids with my parents. It's a lot better. Because I was too young. Oh yeah, I'm a little bit harder. So I even asked her, I go, how old are you? 24. I go, oh, I go, that probably.
Starting point is 00:19:32 I mostly answers everything about what's happening here, even. And she was like, what, and I just go, I go, the young white women. And then I have the whole bit. Yeah, it's great. I did the cops bit,
Starting point is 00:19:43 which is an attempt on me to explain. I go, so you see, I'm like, you don't have to get wound up. It's all like Yeah, that's great. I did the cops bit, which is an attempt to explain I go, so you see, you don't have to get wound up. It's all like bullies just jokes. That then ease her fucking woes at all. This is the railroad tracks that lead to the fucking craziness. This is interesting, because I just want you
Starting point is 00:19:56 to see the flow of how it went from me not being like aggressive with this chick even. I've been far more, I'm not saying I wouldn't be. And if she was like super shitty with me, I would have gotten like shitty funny sure but I would have been like harsher yeah it wasn't calling her a con to nothing like that I we went I like that's my rainbow I was nice I didn't call her con I could throw the stool yeah I could throw a stroller I could have a shot her with something
Starting point is 00:20:20 right on right on right on the middle Right just gray area right down the pipe. I ain't gonna go either way miss. You treat me? Look, I didn't ask her to marry me. I didn't call her cut. Somewhere. Dude, that's so funny if they go, if they call me for a quote,
Starting point is 00:20:37 they go, anything you say about Jago, he's a fair man. They never call her a fair man. Fair man. Man treats it like he's, he treats like he is treated He deals them on us. That's all I could say about Jason. He deals him on the money. Oh calls him like he's Well, you push on a tree ain't gonna move it much cuz fair
Starting point is 00:20:57 He's a fair man. I'm gonna start calling you the money. Oh start calling you the mighty oak. The mighty oak. Oh my god. The mighty oak. This son of bitches is a fan. Will you wear a D shirt that says the mighty oak if I get it for you? Would you?
Starting point is 00:21:10 Would you? The mighty oak? Yeah. All right. It's got a thick good, though. I'll work it out. I'll work it out with Rodriguez. So, all right.
Starting point is 00:21:18 So at this point, she's just screaming out. It's getting dark. And she had to scream me out. So this is the actual flow of the things that were said that led up to the the whole thing that work got obviously out of hand I guess but I said I said my point was saying I wasn't getting shit with her she kept saying she was like throwing I think I want to even look back at Lewis who I knew was like side stage because I was even like I was looking at him I was like she's throwing these lobs dude I
Starting point is 00:21:43 don't know what to do like she's like, she's just, what come takes good? No, it's not. So when it is in succession, as I said, I go, who are you on the phone with now? Because she's just back on her phone again, after I told the, I was telling the girl cop story to like have this like thing. I was like, do you see?
Starting point is 00:22:00 She's like, it's all, and I was like, she's like, hi, I'm like, I go, who are you texting in your friend? She goes, oh, I'm texting my black boyfriend. Like she said, like it's all, and I was like, she's like, hi, I'm like, I go, who are you texting in the finish? Oh, I'm texting my black boyfriend. Like she said, like everyone's gonna give a shit about that. And I went, I went, all right. I go, oh, does he make you chicken every hour?
Starting point is 00:22:15 So he knows how long he has to get bitches out of the house. And then I go, so I'll- Oh, check in, I think he said, I swear to God, I thought you said chicken. Me too, I'm sure that's the way it is. Check in, check in, you make you check in. Okay, I got you. I go, this guy makes a chicken every hour. You fat bitch Maybe she did have a point Jay
Starting point is 00:22:32 Right to the cook chicken part. Yeah, once you make you cook chicken every hour because they love it Does he love it does he make you make this make you wear a bra man of watermelon shells? You make you save the last dance Make you make this you make you wear a bra man of water melon shells. You make you save the last dance You know you should have said she said he said does he eat your pussy? But you know, we got to put a biscuit in his cold Soul Joe pulled J off stage. That's the real story. he fucking Sandman, my brother is like, he did it up there. Do you break a cake, baby? You just fucking fuck it up. I gotta walk around this town.
Starting point is 00:23:06 What do you think of here? So no, in order she goes, so I said, I said he makes you check every hour. And then I, you know, I went and laughed and I was like, I'm just, I even said that one, I think I'm just fucking with you. And she goes, I'm actually pregnant with a black baby. And I was like, I mean, that's more of your father's
Starting point is 00:23:23 nightmare than I is. She was like, I'm not sure why you're telling me that. It was sort of like the thing. What was your dad doing when you said that? I have no idea. I can't see them like that. You know what I mean? I just kind of see.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I just know where she is and the white sweater. And I'm as front of the stage as I can kind of get really without being like dangerous if I put a stool on, I guess, because like I get a little bit in front of the light so I couldn't see anybody. Yeah, yeah. So like the, she was impregnated blackmail, that's your father's problem. I thought we don't give a shit like that. Everyone laughed, it was like a relatively fabric,
Starting point is 00:23:57 you know, easy line. And then she goes, and then her mom, who they've already made us, I forget when, aware that the mom is a Trump supporter And she has a problem with her mom for this okay her mom's kind of like trying to shush the daughter almost like and she's going The mom's like She's like she's not pregnant. She's not pregnant at all She's not pregnant or I think when she said I had a black half black hell. I got your father's name
Starting point is 00:24:20 I go look I would just say get him shooting jumpers young, take advantage of that half black while you can, you know. And, uh, and it's like, she's not pregnant by a thing and she goes, no, that's right, I'm not pregnant because I had an abortion. She's like, all spooky like that. Like, again, like, she thought the crowd was like, yeah, gonna be like, yeah, yeah, I was gonna be pro life like stopping. Oh, no, they start throwing fucking baby pads at her shit. Like, they know it's gonna happen. Like, it it's gonna happen. Like it's Rocky Horror Pictures show. She said, this is where we throw the diapers
Starting point is 00:24:48 at the girl that had the abortion. So she says, she's, I had an abortion. And I said, well, Miss, I'm like, for being so concerned about racism, you're the only person. He was just confessed to murdering a black person. That's great. And that guy got bigger and I was like,
Starting point is 00:25:05 so for the black lives matter tattoo you got on your purse. And she just like a fucking like we like I broke her. I just brought me she just literally in place just started screaming at the top of her lungs. Just in a chair just going, ah! Right to the sky, to the head of the sky. Dude, what if all of a sudden you guys just saw
Starting point is 00:25:24 like a dark green cloud above her and Swirling go what did you do? What did you do? What did you do? It was the candy man the candy man got her pregnant the end of like the end of Raiders Yeah, that stream comes down Just that one thing and she's like oh shit She started to levitate just like Oh shit. I knew she started to levitate. She's like, Yes, I'm not like I'm. Jay, what did you do, you unlocked her?
Starting point is 00:25:48 She slugs her mom in the chest. What? Yeah, it's great. Like, just fucking boom. Well, you know, she was sitting this way, but you know, the thing like doing like that, just hitting her mom, just hitting her. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:00 What's the mom doing as she's being hit? Or can you still not? I just like, I see that. I see you're kind of hit her Moms are moms next to her and then I see your mom and like I guess and whatever it is They're just like a fat pig family from fucking Pennsylvania. What was the how long? Wait wait wait wait so what happened? But yeah, she's hitting her mom the mom's not screaming. No, I mean that's like tell
Starting point is 00:26:20 I was just hit her like and then the mom's like you know like calm her down and like They get off this they walk her off, sort of like, Rambo at the end of Rambo, like a jack-o-over. It's a long road. You should've sang that. God damn it. You should've sang that.
Starting point is 00:26:35 It's a long road. Well, no, what happened was they started doing like a, hey, hey, no, no, goodbye, champ. And even I was like, I was like, everybody, I'm like, leave her alone. Dude, she just like, she just popped a st- It was just like crazy. Yeah, copy leader right? Copy leader right? No No, he's at that point. It's like I'm dealing with a mental person
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yeah, something wrong. That's right. So when she started screaming in the skies I'm just like also because everything I did so far was I just kind of make this thing it's like miss I'm just joking. I don't have no problem with you. Yeah, who are you said you like me? In my mind, yes, like so but she's like crying like crying screaming And they walk and then just add like the dark like walk their stages the brother Which I know is totally I'm not an idiot. He's he's walking up for trouble But I'm like security's gonna get him before he gets to the stage for sure Nope, and then and very much for sure I was like and if not like he's coming up on the stage to try to fight me or something
Starting point is 00:27:22 You know, I mean so when you see him walk if he's gonna do something physical in my mind He's coming up on the stage to try to fight me or something. You know, I mean, so when you see him If he's gonna do something physical in my mind, he's coming up on the stage. Yes So when you this point Joel somebody should have run it in A hundred percent so this girl though when she screamed and it really jazenogs exaggerating even kind of it was like a teakettle blowing It was her mom and her aunt. I guess tried to like they're trying to walk her out like he said so security It's like there's a ton of commotion already happening like we thought this was the event you know and maybe securities focus on them and don't catch the brother there should a hundred percent now and read everything about
Starting point is 00:27:55 instincts and all of this is the guys should have never been able to get to this stage you're like holy shit why was there not you know also you're saying what happened is because all the emotions dealing with this girl literally slugging her mom hitting her while they were trying to walk her out and I would also say this in in Joel and the staff or whoever's defense Nobody this should never happen and it's crazy like no ever thinks this is gonna happen You're like we're having a fucking goof off. I'm sorry Goose like it's like saying I need security the barbecue. It shouldn't happen. Yeah, it shouldn't be right Sorry, but it was also a distraction of but somebody comes up. He just I just walk it up. He's like
Starting point is 00:28:32 He's like yo come here. That's my sister when he did the premiere. Yeah Come here. My sister you go hold on. Let me put this mic down hold on Oh, look what are you my mind? I was like we're in the middle of a pandemic I'm not gonna fucking fight this guy and And also like, this guy's coming, I guess defending his sister, but it's like the whole thing's more onyck. Like he's fighting for, he's defending his sister for nothing.
Starting point is 00:28:51 No one did anything to his sister. His sister, the prostitute. Yeah. She is the entire problem. She was being, no one would notice her if she was sitting there watching a comedy show. She made a scene on her way to the bathroom. She made a scene on the way.
Starting point is 00:29:02 She's yelling out stuff. I'm saying she's killing everyone, the racist and all this bonkership, right? And so he's walking up to the bathroom. She made a scene in the way. She's yelling out stuff. I'm saying she's killing everyone. They're racist and all this bonkership, right? And so he's walking up to the stage. Like, that's my sister. I was like, what? Because I was like, it's said, him being involved, it's like a brand new thing at all.
Starting point is 00:29:15 But I see him, I'm like, I'm like, what? And he just goes, what he's saying at the same time, that's my sister. I'm sitting on a stool. So picture, you know, stools at the bottom have like bars to go. You have one foot down and'm sitting on a stool. So picture, you know, Stools to the bottom have like No, I see no you have one foot down and one foot on the wrong No, both on wrong. I think I know you're sitting stuff. Yeah, no, yeah, I believe yeah
Starting point is 00:29:33 I believe you're doing with Dan's doing like your feet are tough. Yeah, I had them like both on wrong I think yeah, yeah, you do that's why it looks like in the video that somebody from the behind Yeah, I can see what the fuck just happened when the guy's walking up I guess like fast nothing Lewis was already making his way on to the stage Louis. Yeah, I talked to Lewis and he said he spotted him. He said he saw him Walking up but I saw I thought I didn't see my song when I was like this guy's Yeah, but I think it loses mind. He's always ready for that. He goes this man's gonna assassinate giant I know also keep in mind. There's an ounce of me that's still also saying this guy was like trying to tell a sister to calm down
Starting point is 00:30:06 yeah she's clearly an issue so maybe he's gonna go up and be like dude I fucking love you man my fucking sister's a wet that's happened before that's absolutely when I was at American comedy company last time of the time before that drunk I'm the third row making fun of them he's got a picture of beer he turns out he's by himself or whatever. And I'm like laughing at them. I'm like, oh man, you know how the fucking drink come out. Just having fun with them like that.
Starting point is 00:30:29 He just gets up and starts walking to the stage. And I'm like, what the fuck, do you know that row in front of you? So I kind of like back up like that. And he's like, I just got kicked out. Oh, I say have a good night. And he stands his hand to shake my hand. Yeah, that's what I'm like. Thanks man, have a good night.
Starting point is 00:30:44 And he's like, all right, bye. But I'm saying that I could conclude my decision of being like, Yeah, it's really good. Thanks, man. Have a good night. He's like, all right, bye. But I'm saying, I could conclude my mistake of being like, oh, it's a right just dude, man. Well, just whatever it is, I just don't know. Especially, but I just don't know what it is you're going to do necessarily. But my mind said more like his face was so like,
Starting point is 00:30:59 he wasn't smiling or anything. So I was like, oh, it's coming for a thing. I don't even realize how accessible I am. think I'm like if we're gonna do something I have to come down. Yes, or he's got to come up. Yes, right I'm not gonna go down. Yeah, and by the way I said at 42 years old the funny thing is like on this even if I was like if the guy was like If the guy was so in the wrong of like doing something with me That I wanted the fun
Starting point is 00:31:22 I would have went and walked down the stage Hold on only on the off chance I go that I jumped down from that five and a half foot stage of 42 Just tweak a knee and you go up. Yep. I don't hang on time out Oh, then he's just he's just hitting you in the head while you're grabbing your knee. Yeah, yeah Stop out fuck time out time out guys, but he just grabs my right ankle. I think it is and and man It's immediate that you're just like I'm going like I'm'm going off this I'm going off stage like there's no chance We're even like I could pull back. I just had nothing it was all his momentum pulling me
Starting point is 00:31:52 Because he did a real like pull like you know full pull full pull and I was able to Tap my left foot down on the stage just a hair enough To like just get my body going like my body going for this. What is it? What is it? I know it's toward where the end here, but like, I got to say that like why why I do take it seriously ultimately in the story. In the story, it ends like, okay, even you know, in reality, good for us in so many ways of a story and everything. But make no mistake in the grand scheme, like why I'll probably go to court and probably like pursue this thing is because
Starting point is 00:32:31 one side ways turn tractor trailer performing. Yeah. It's got to grab me by my feet to pull me off of a five and a half foot stage with no footing is what his mind was going to be. Yeah. He's pulled me off of a thing. Hit my head on that. If I went flat and down, he didn't. If I wasn't able to tap that foot down, call it instinct, call it luck, whatever I'd like. Luck probably is what it, that foot doesn't tap down, dude. Presence of mind. My head on that corner. I've had a lot of bouncers say that they've seen guys get fired for bouncing when they try to pull stage divers off like that. And they say, on those guys, they do it as an all purpose move because they hit their head and like get knocked out.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Fuck's it, try whatever. But I'm like, you're pulling me. I mean, any number of things from breaking a bone to paralyzed to fucking dead from what that guy did. And the way I was able to twist my body kind of like in the air enough To get I was able to get like across his body when I landed and then I'm telling you that our fans are not fucking our fans actually the fans jumped in fuck. Yeah, I was like to say the rest like I gave him a firm talking to Lewis gave him a firm talking to get people I feel like and then I've only got an opinion and then a bunch of other people expressed their opinions. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, opinions were shared that not everyone
Starting point is 00:33:48 thought that was cool. But I thought that was a cool. But I'm lucky that I wasn't that wasn't just me unconscious in the bottom of a pile of other people handling it. I was able to like, I said, do you want me to be on my festering with like fucking, and I do I'm pretty fierce. But I'm a little to have festering with revenge is because like I got I got a couple of good opinions in yeah yeah yeah yeah I was with set I got to go but I was with Sal when we saw the video we hadn't talked to you yet are you sent it to Sal we were looking at it and we were like it was it was full on alarm dude Sal and I started calling you repeatedly then we called are you because we couldn't get through to you.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Because we saw the video where we were like, there's no way he's not in the hospital right now. I thought you were at the... I thought you were at the... I thought it was like, there's no way the video looks like it's fucking... It seems to me the grainy video and wrote, dude, this just happened, and I just bombed outside at the stand,
Starting point is 00:34:38 and I go over and I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like sitting, you know where the booth is, when you go inside the stand right there? I'm just like, standing there watching it, I show it to like Shane and Norman and Ari and everyone's like what the fuck Is he okay? And that's what I was trying to blow up Christina like someone call me I need to know either Normans like I call it's old Joe. I'm on the mode. Yeah, I like son of a bitch on the long Yeah, for the long story short is that Ultimately like yeah, the guy got arrested, but when arrested. But when everything's getting broken up,
Starting point is 00:35:06 when the cop show up and they take him into custody, is the sister in the family still around? The sister fucking attacked the cop. Really? And they ended up still not arresting her. That lady's a basic case. And then the gross thing, Joe, I'll tell you, because this is what the thing that you have to hear,
Starting point is 00:35:22 the grossest thing to me, is the patriarch of this goddamn slob pig family, the dad of garbage people. The dad is coming around apologizing to everybody, not saying like, you know, I don't know what happened, you know, my kids and blah, blah, I was thinking, he's going around going, my, he's again, my son's like a local porn producer now and getting in the fights like where he's done this, my son's like a, a local porn producer now and getting in the fights like where he's done this, just like a blind side attack people around town. He's an alcoholic.
Starting point is 00:35:52 My daughter is a piece of shit and she's a bipolar alcoholic. So sorry, we won't bring them anymore to something like this. And you're like, dude, I respect you more if you came around. We're just trying to make excuses for them. Yeah. Well, then just go like, there's scumbag, pieces like they're like they're your pieces of shit your piece of shit Yeah, you made these pieces of shit Soldial interviewed of course by the post and he's like talking about what happened. He's explaining the family He says dude. It's and by the way
Starting point is 00:36:19 Shout out to page six for getting Lewis Jay Gomez, right? Oh, yeah, they could have wrote Lewis Gomez I mean, it was definitely a fan they called me a cold comedy hero dude it's awesome that's why that's why i hit you back with the day of growl there goes my here but i am this is the greatest soldier all quote where you wrote Richardson tells us fans piled in to help the comics while club staff called the cops quote i guess the guy was trying to defend his sister's honor Richardson said although if you matter i'm not sure how much honor there was to defend. Me, yeah!
Starting point is 00:36:51 Yeah, she was big garbage. Wow. But I do think she has a black card. Jay couldn't have handled it any better. Hey, it's Black Blue, and before the attack on our beloved Jay, the guys discussed the Discovery Channel's odd programming theme on this year's Shark Week. Every time I think that Discovery can't make Shark Week worse, they prove me wrong. Okay, wow. Discovery Channel is to sharks, what the food network is to food. It's that bad.
Starting point is 00:37:19 It's the most low-brow programming on sharks. I don't understand how you can fuck it up, but they managed to do it. Everything now is some concocted stupid plot to justify the episode, and it's all celebrities now. They had Will Smith, Shaq, and Mike Tyson with the same plot. They're all battling their fear of sharks while helping marine biologists somehow. By the way, just you know, there are just Jacob just so you know, there are white celebrities who are afraid of sharks also. But it is. Tell that to discovery.
Starting point is 00:37:52 No, I know, but I'm saying it is funny. It's crazy that they don't touch that. They don't touch that. That's how that's coming off. Like such a big company isn't like, hey guys, in this time, is it good to do the whole black people afraid of water or slash things in the water? That's what I mean because there's definitely because they know the problem is they know what guy's gonna be like, oh man This is scary. I'm very nervous. I'm feeling anxious right now about getting in there with the sharks and you know and Will Smith and
Starting point is 00:38:17 Sheffield would be like, oh, no, I don't mess around with that finnifin finn You're saying this is the white boring fear that we have. I'm scared. I'm quite honestly. I feel but also white people. I mean, this is like where all the like base jumping and extreme sports come from. White people have this thing where it is like, yeah, no danger gives me a thrill. There'll be a white celebrity that's like, I cannot wait to actually touch the fin of the shark. Yeah, they'll dive, they're white, they're be a white celebrity. It's like, I cannot wait to actually touch the fin of the shark.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Yeah, yeah, they'll dive or they're just, I said, there a thing is just like, I have to conquer this. I've been going over to my therapist and this is something I need to do to make steps forward. And it's it's like, the shacks going to be like, oh, hell no. All right, go in now, water. I'm not talking out of it. That's a hammer. I heard you called every shark a it. That's a hammerhead. You called every shucker hammerhead so far.
Starting point is 00:39:07 We're gonna have a hammerhead. Well, when I played for the Lakers, I called everybody Kobe. How did no barracks fishin' was a person? I called Paul Pogas. I called Paul's all white Kobe. And by the way, it took me two years to learn Kobe's name for when I first got traded to Los Angeles I called everybody penny
Starting point is 00:39:32 It was like smurf Kobe was my smurf word Welcome to Donald's gonna take your order goes. Yeah McDonald's penny Can I have a number two Kobe and a number with a solid Kobe and a large Kobe. I don't understand what I mean. He goes, make a Jack Kobe. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:39:55 No, that's chicken Kobe. I want the other Kobe. Shack actually does that with his name on everything. If you watch his MTV crib, he's like, this is Shaqapoko. This here's the Shaq garage. He like, he smurfs everything with Shaq. This is my Shaq in room. This is my Shaq chin where I make this food.
Starting point is 00:40:17 This is the person I'm married to. This is Lady Shaq. She gives me little Shaq's. This is hot Shaq. Oh, yeah, I think it's called a stove. Yeah. Cold shack is the refrigerator. I believe cold shack.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Yeah, they can't do shark week with like a psychotic British actor who's like, I like the way their eyes stay dead in the wolf. Yeah. So what happened with guessing right? Is it a bunch of all hell costs? No, two, I don't like couldn't suffer through the Will Smith one. He was so scared of sharks. He has a psychiatrist, a psychiatrist helping him with a sphere of sharks.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Well, you understand. Well, he's diving with sharks. And fairness to Will Smith, by the way, his mind was probably somewhere else because you know, as well as that, they're trying to swim with sharks and hold dolphins and his wife's probably home just getting corned out by some new R&B singer. Yeah, she's in an entanglement with a sexual shark. Yeah, she's getting split by Drew Hill and the fucking in the sunroom. So shark week to you is a bus now, Jacob.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Uh, it's been a bus for a while, but I mean, I'm just shocked at how bad it gets. And it's the same recurring. It's all they're all also shot like a Michael Bay movie, which is. I'll have this movie soundtrack action soundtrack pumping through every time there's a shot of a shark, they cut it, they edit it like the shark is always attacking the cage. Do they do that? Do they do the Christopher Nolan noise? The Do they do that? Do they do the Christopher Nolan noise? The wooooooow. Yes. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo like fucking very cinematically. Look, this is my problem with Shark Week.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Is they always come up with, they do have fantastic footage. They just always fuck it up, but how they edit it and how they package it. It's awful. You don't have to put this soundtrack and shove in celebrities. And who had the funniest reaction? Who had the funniest reaction? Who had the funniest reaction?
Starting point is 00:42:25 Tyson was the most honest reaction. I guess it, like, I didn't even watch the Wilson-Mitha one, but I guess you would find Shaxe. Did they challenge Tyson to do the thing where it's like a bunch of shark in the nose? It'll go away. He looked like he wished he wouldn't have done this. He did not get over his fear of sharks. It's all world star.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Clearly a paycheck. Clearly a paycheck, but he's so honest. It's just funny. He's funny because when he's not terrifying my Tyson, he's so corny. And I don't even mean that as an insult, please God know that. I mean, that as an insult. I'm saying that he's like silly.
Starting point is 00:43:04 He is like a silly guy. I'm like, he is a guy that would show you that he's afraid of something or something. You know what I mean? Like, so it's interesting to watch that change in him. So I'd be happy to check that. That's a really funny spectrum to run. No, like putting, because my Tyson,
Starting point is 00:43:20 there's interviews where you're like, oh man, you are an instrument of destruction. Like you won't put on this earth to fucking really hurt people. But then he's also got this sweet, kind of like inside of him where he's just like, like the only way they can make this worse is they did like Mike Tyson's afraid of the dark. It's turn off the lights on him. Is anyone there? Is it like mad at me?
Starting point is 00:43:43 Hello? He's actually, I think they shot this while he was in full training. He's ripped. He looks at the Tyson looks unbelievable. That's the one thing I noticed when you sent that fucking shot. I was like, damn, Tyson's jack. He don't. Mike Tyson is, uh, I got to meet him when I was filling in for Anthony back in like the opian gym days And he walked in the room and was absolutely terrifying
Starting point is 00:44:09 Because he looked at me and he goes who the fuck are you and I was like I'm a man that's filled with underpants full of pee is right now But then when he got like loose and normal and be Don't tell us Sean Fury that dude. He's gonna think you're a bitch. Yeah, I'm a bitch bitch Yeah, but I'm saying like when he relaxed and was nice, you're kind of like, it's probably also because you're still terrified of him, but because he's nice, you're like, oh man, you're a good dude, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:33 you just seen that end of it where you're like terrified of him. So then when he played with that. What'd he be in playful? Was he being playful when he said who the fuck are you? Yeah, because he was like, what's up, opening? What's up, Jim? And he goes, who the fuck are you? He was like being funny.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Okay, all right. But to me, it was like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. You know, you're like, what's up, Jim? And he goes, who the fuck are you? He was like being funny. Okay, all right. But to me, it was like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Oh God. Yeah, so this is Mike Tyson in on Shark Week. Shark Tank Week. What's tonic immobility, mean Jacob? When you put the shark to sleep, you can actually calm a shark down by rubbing its nose. I think it's with a punch them in the nose. That will scare that will scare them off. If you actually want to immobilize them, or they'll actually just kind of go limp. actually want to immobilize them, or they'll actually just kind of go limp. Better word. That's what you do. You rub their nose and it puts them into a...
Starting point is 00:45:34 What if it coming at you to eat you, you can do that. You can make them forget their hungry and put in the sleep. You would punch their nose or yeah, you would rub their nose. That's a little... So you can just pet a shark out of attacking you? Your nose is very sensitive to them. a shark out of attacking you. You know who's the very sense of doing that? The best thing to do is punch. It's the shark. Did you guys see this video was just him playing with his pet tiger? Like it's any old house cat? bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo I don't understand why I want the wreath all the time I'm gonna keep it tighter. That's a just a terrible fucking idea Dude, there's no way
Starting point is 00:46:32 It's a look at me Mike okay, yeah, I don't know dude. I gotta get out of this thing stop wrestling with it Oh, it's on a Japanese show too, so they probably think it means he's more masculine So they probably think it means he's more masculine I'd be afraid of an iguana as a pet That's crazy. Sometimes my little looks at me and am I gonna buy me? Is this it is a curtains for me? You said you're gonna have to fight this dog off. Oh god So fuck shark week. I think that's what we came to the conclusion, right, Jacob? Yeah, I'm tired.
Starting point is 00:47:07 It's racist. It's racist. It's racist. I don't care. Um, plus there's this, they keep going back to the, the same marine biologists that have sold their soul to be on Shark Week. They're like celebrity marine biologists now, but one of them does like to slain through some of the ancient aliens. Yeah. But what are you saying? There's one what?
Starting point is 00:47:29 Well, there's one Australian biologist. He's in his 50s and he's a white guy with dreadlocks. Boo. I can't take him seriously. Oh, well, damn, let's hear him out. Boo. It's not way boy day. Was it way boy day? I just, I never got that, I never got that look. Yeah, and Australians can bring it with that chippy attitude of like, actually, I didn't realize it's cultural appropriation anything, I just like having my hair like this.
Starting point is 00:47:58 It's good for, you know, I'm doing marine biology. And sometimes I notice that sharks don't like white people that take black culture. Jacob, I just heads up that one day, somebody's gonna turn around with me, you cry. Make you cry. No, someday walking around in the halls of serious
Starting point is 00:48:20 could be a shark. It could be the band corn who could possibly come on our show to be uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Huh? I know you're both with me on this. I'm with you on it. I can't be with listen. I'm with some corn style dredds on a white guy. You Which I can't with some corn style dredds on a white guy. Christine, I'm gonna need you to pick the leaf of absence now. I think I think I think you could all agree on corn because they're corn. Yeah, it's corn hair Like I'd be like, oh, you got the guy from corn's hair. That's how I would say it. So yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's corn hair. Like I'd be like, oh, you got the guy from corn hair. That's how I would say it. So yeah, you're right. Yeah, corn's doing it, but you can't, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Across the board, it is an outlook for sure. Especially if you're a guy who's not doing corn. You guy not corning, then you do it for the game. Now, come on, Jacob, they're rad. Ugh, all right. All right. All right, well. But let me head this. If you want to watch a good documentary on sharks, I'll recommend Saving Jaws on Amazon and I'll leave it at that.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Oh, wow, what a sad documentary. Hey, it's Big J.O. Grison and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at SexM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.