The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dan's Birthday Recap, Robert Kelly Accepts A Challenge & Dak Prescott In Studio

Episode Date: July 6, 2018

The week started with Jacob recounting the story of being reprimanded for using a cake caddy at Big Jay’s BBQ. Then Dak Prescott, quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys stops by the studio and is interviewed by super-fan Black Lou and non-fans, Dan and Jay. Afterwards, the great Bobby Kelly calls into the Bonfire to challenge Jay another Air Drum Battle. Finally, while watching the Netflix documentary “White Right”, about white supremacists in America, Dan and Jay ponder what if Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen were racists.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon. And I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8pm on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. Man, we ate like garbage yesterday, how fun was that? He should have followed us on all social media at the bonfire SXM

Man, we ate like garbage yesterday. How fun was that? We did eat like little piggy girls. Yeah, Jake came over gave me I had a Visit from Jacob who brought muffins delicious blueberry muffins. Oh, where are they fuck were they good marble? Just marble glaze on the top just yeah, oh making them sweet sweet muffins. Yeah And he came over and I was like jank steamer like 20 minutes away. I was like staying hanging out. He goes it's right stay Got a bit more interest. I'm telling you Jacob's had the business a big joke or send you over it. Yeah, yeah, tell the worry up set when he talks me all the time I guess Jay are you done? Are you done? Yeah, can I finish now? Can I do some crowd work?

There's my crowd work. Hey, what's your name Jay? Do you ever let your co-worker Jacob talk? No, I'll answer the question And by the way at the beginning of the conversation Jacob thought I was going to your house So he's like this is how bad he wanted you to have a muffin. How much does mother-fucker cares? He was like Let me come over before you go to Jay and Christine so I can give you the muffins that give to them. And I was like, now they're coming here. He is. I got to travel with muffin. So you're a really race of muffins. All right, Dan, you take these rest. Midnight run with muffins. I brought it over on a plate instead of my K-Catty because Wayne from your party, lovely man. Give me a talking too. I didn't tell you this. Oh no, I remember this, but the cake caddy.

Yeah, he took me aside and said, dude, boy, he's walking around with a cake caddy. Yeah, Wayne gets sauceed and then gets weirdly like, I didn't know Wayne was so anti-cake caddy. I would call it a, Wayne would own, he owns all the gays products. Well, he's also a gay man. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean, he's gayest products well he's also a gay man no I know you're trying to tell me that you're a gay man

you look a little frizzy walking around with a gay canty and they're very defensive wait I get listen there's a point to be made that walking on the k-candy is not the most masculine thing a very weak shit but you never done with your dick out there's a lot of unmask you and walking around for reasons Oh, dude. Yeah, I have my silk fan that I walk around with that's not masculine go outside I go outside and Flip flops a lot that never feels manly to me that makes you feel not as masculine

I'm trying to fucking make Jacob. Oh, okay. I'm gonna walk another cake atty I even the second best of episode I think that I've done I walk around like with a sawdoth dick in my mouth. Yeah Yeah, I walk around with a sawdoth dick in my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. I walk around dickrabbing every day on my street. I thought, now fifth street, you know what's going there. I throw cumbaloons at people. Other men's come. That's how gay.

I got very defensive when he said that. Well, I have a cake. I mean, I have to bring it. I had to bring it at the cake caddy. And he said, put it on a plate, wrap it in foil. Why you walk in around with a cake caddy? He was very emphatic So I didn't get cake caddy yesterday. No, I'm fucking happy birthday to me Happy fucking birthday to me. You shouldn't have overthought that Wayne does get sauce by the end of the barbecue But it's all like his joke. It gets a while ago. We describe as gay agro humor

It's very aggressive. I've seen him do it the sad stuff. That's just sauce-dwaing Do you think you should go back to the cake caddy? I say yes go back to the cake cake cake I'm not saying it's the most masculine Of course you don't defend to me, buddy It was new. I got it. You know, and it has a tear you could put a cake in I Think I traveled with your cake caddy to bring it back to you. Yeah, yeah That's far I felt fine. He's not scarred by it fought five guys in the way here that day Yeah, when I took it home. Chase travel was like double dragon the entire way here

You're just bopping people in the lead think a fucking video game. Yeah, I think it up here when I took it home from your Barbecue he made me feel so weird about having a cake caddy that I tucked it under my arm like try to be tough holding it instead of holding it by the handle. I gotta carry this cake caddy over to some girl. Fuck it. Yeah. I walked around the street on these through it on the ground and kicked it and he's like I don't even want it. I'm bringing it back to some hot bitch. I laid dick. Yeah. Yeah. Some ladies. I fuck ladies and they bake me cakes.

Check the tot, how you doing? I'm just a good enough guy that I don't throw their cake caddies that I return them to him. And then I fuck the pig again. That's great, he's on the train, so he makes a... He's sitting next to the guy on the train and he looks at the cake caddy goes... Pussy, right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Excuse me, you guys. Just dudes getting pussy. Just a couple guys working shit. I am a game man. Back to the bonfire Comedy Central Radio,

Series XM 95. I'm Dan Soder. That's Big J.O.K.R.S.N. And with us in the studio, the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah, no, we're not bullshitting you. Dak Prescott hanging out at the bonfire. What's up, Dak?

What's up, guys? I have a meal. I cannot tell you what this means for black Lou. He's a diehard Cowboys fan. I'm excited. Took my money last season when I bet with the Niners game, which I was foolish for betting that game. Yeah. All right. Well, Jimmy G's there and those big browns are going to lead us to the playoffs now to the football questions. Because, you know, as a Dallas Cowboys quarterback, as a quarterback,

you probably just have to answer sports questions. Lou, what do you want to ask your idol in the flesh? I'm listening to radio my entire life, which is why it's like a dream come true for me to sit here with Dan and big J You grew up a Dallas Cowboys fan. Yeah, it did. What is it like to have your dream job? Great question. I mean, it's it's a blessing. I mean honestly is But it comes with a lot of a lot of responsibilities when you when your dream job is to play for the Dallas Cowboys, but it comes with great opportunities. And not only as you said, being in here with you guys, but being here for the reason that I am on behalf of

Brisson Marsquim, what I'm doing today. As a 49ers fan, Jimmy G, you think he, you think he's a good tipper, like when he goes out to eat, have you, have you met Jimmy? No, I haven't met Jimmy. Okay, but these seems like a good dude, right? I would hope he's a good tipper with when he goes out to eat have you have you met Jimmy? No, I'm a man. Okay, but he seems like a good dude, right? I would hope he's a good tipper with that check. He just got yeah, right? 135 million leaving it for a nice it better be more than 20 if I found out he was a shitty tipper I'd probably forgive it. That's stubbles just

Christine can you stop giggling at everything Dex? I know he's handsome, but where are you? He's household Jay? Do you want to ask your question as an Eagles fan? Come back to me. I didn't want this is tough. This is a hard one. Jay doesn't know how to accept. He's very handsome. He seems very nice to him. What a great cause.

But Jesus. You play madden. Occasionally. Occasionally. Did you grow up playing like football video games? Yeah, I was just big NCAA fan. I was just gonna ask you that. Yeah, yeah.

There we go. You almost just made meF. That was just gonna ask you that. Yeah, there we go. You almost just made me a cowboy's fan and I hate you guys. Well, that easy. Yeah, I'm a real dude, I'm a whore. You know that. Well, I was just saying, NCAA college football was my favorite football game of all time. And I've spent minutes on this show trying to get people

to believe that it's a better football game than mad. You grew up in Louisiana, did you play with LSU? No, I mean, I actually wasn't an LSU fan growing up always switched it around One of those guys that would pick one of the bad teams and rebuilt rebuild go into the season next You know I'm like in 2023 and my my brothers are still like what are you doing? I used to play with central mission I'm rooting doing all that I take a chip with them back in the night. The chips. Chippewauss. Take them all the way to the AC. You know, I can remember you can move them divisions.

I had just dominated the AC. I had none. Texas one in the big 12 national team. I mean, away. Every year. Jay, another question as an Eagles fan? Yeah, as far as gingers go, Carson Wentz is pretty hot, right? And you know what?

As a handsome, as a fan of a handsome quarterback team, that's a good question. What? Ginger's red hair. Carson wins the ginger. Uh, normally speaking, that's just pro-task. Well, I don't have a first off. I'm not judging another man in here on this deal. I would do that at all. Sure. But I'd dance him. Like he's hand. You can acknowledge another man's handsome. Like Jimmy G. What is stunner? I'm saying if you had to like cast your own Gay pornography and it was Jimmy G and Carson Wentz. I don't like where they would turn it off What you got for me?

Yeah, what you got, but you played Madden before you kind of understand Are you okay with your reading this year bad lines? Because I'm not okay with that. Let's have the reason I don't play mad and stuff. What was the feeling when you turned on mad and did you someone tell you what your rating was first or did you go find it out on mad? Initially I think when mad came out I mean I was the fourth string quarterback and so initially I was

like 70 or something. I mean it was bad. But they do those updates now like in their new awards. Yeah I mean I've had some good I mean they do those updates now, like in their newer ones. Yeah, I mean, I've had some good, I mean, they do the updates and so during my rookie year in the middle of it, I mean, I had a pretty solid ranking and then, I don't know, so I was like 80. You finished the last year at 82 at the end of the season.

Yeah. And then to start the season, they give you an 80, which doesn't make sense. Derek Carr has the same, almost the same numbers as you do and he has an 82. So that doesn't make sense to be so i'll write a letter the bond is that the

jay any questions is niko's van let me see i think black blue actually text me this question asked last night for one million dollars that would you sleep with black lose wife excuse me that i'm not what was it that it's a reverse in decent proposal. He's paying, Doc, to sleep with black, lose his wife, and his own wife. Will you sleep with my wife for a million dollars?

I'll pitch this with fran dresser, but I'm gonna pitch this right to you. My brother in radio. I'll write that on spec. Oh, go home. We'll get some food. I'll say you know right now, I can tell you, it's just because I know, we're for 20 bucks. Christina, leave with you and spend the rest of your life with you right now She goes I'll do it for an empty a car. No, just just it was a paper trail Dac thanks so much for coming in man. I really appreciate it. I have one parting question. Absolutely. You know, I can't

Dac do you happen to have maybe an old t-shirt or two that Christine and Luke can wear to bed at night? t-shirt or two that Christine and Luke and where to bed at night. Every muscle case. Justin Silver's hanging out with us on the phone right now. We have from the You Know What Dude podcast. Everybody the hilarious Robert Kelly joins us. Bobby. Bobby, we wanted you to call because I'm happy that Justin was here for this. Justin was my last call it victim if you want.

I was going to say notch on the belt of the drum battle at last year's holiday show. Well, Bobby, afterwards you threw down the gauntlet and said, yeah, you know what? You challenged me the next time to the drum battle. It's big. I did. I threw down the gauntlet. When this was, when this was, Bobby, I think what Jay was trying to get at is you talk some shit. So are you gonna show up at skankfest to Come for hang on Dan though you're fucking roll first. Oh, Bobby Listen Bobby, you know that you Bobby. You know you know you the You know where we are all right? You don't just throw me down the fucking river because big J's on this hold on a goddamn second When I'm saying he was this you coming in hot and heavy on J side I threw down the gauntlet to that big guy, okay?

I saw when he did the Justin I see man Well, let's go. Let's just you took a left when everybody thought you're gonna take a right it wasn't that crazy You don't know me you're gonna me or Jeff a jet no it's not about Jay saying there's a crazy way of that impressive sure I'll give it to you I'm saying Jay was subtle everybody thought he was gonna go nuts and he went subtle and and that's why oh that's one of the battle okay he had a good game plan Justin came in like a man straight out wanted to do a drum battle, a drum battle. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Thousand whistles. Justin came in like Led Zeppelin. Jay was born. Jovi. Whoa. I got a step on it. I love you. I realize I got to step it up. And I was trying to put on a bit of a show for sure. Yeah. But for sure. Absolutely. I realize this time I would be going up against what can only be described as a professional fake drummer. Yeah. I'm an amateur fake drummer. It's where they say, where amateur fake drummer? Where amateurs fake drummers?

Bobby's professional fake drummer. He's the sharp. He's going to come in with a fucking case for his fucking hair drumsticks. It takes a long time for Jay to get this sometimes, but it's always worth it. So I am completely ready to do this as Skankfest. Christine tells me, and maybe she's just trying to make me feel better, maybe she's trying to gas me up. Bobby Kelly says he needs at least a month to train for air drumming. Yeah, I need a month to train.

But when is this this gang fest thing? July 14th and 15th. Bobby, you're booked on it. July. Am I? Yes. Where is it? He's like, I'm gonna see if I'm down.

It's in Brooklyn. You guess, oh, sorry, I'm out of town that week. And now you're on the first. Now he's here, he leaves for Montreal on Tuesday. I know the schedules. Bobby, we have to go find the meatloaf truck in Montreal. Me and Bobby both definitely gave him good business. I think Bobby got them a brick-and-mortar Actual location

Like look dude. I don't want to stand out here in the cold to get my meatloaf. I want to be sitting now Bobby become customer of the month in a week Bobby's customer the month. Oh my god Really I went I went back to the meatloaf truck in my there was a photo of me on the truck. They gave me. They get it. I didn't ask the customer of the month. We were only there for a week.

They gave me a free chutney sauce and free meatloaf sandwiches for the rest of the festival. Did they name a sandwich after you? Yeah. It was just it was they only had the one sandwich but I'll tell you what Bobby did that was amazing though.

He was smart. He came the first day or one of the first days or shows we had afterwards We went and found this truck and ate it me and Bobby both said to ourselves we go man. This is deadly like for sure It's the greasiest butteriest the most amazing I've ever had I go gotta stay away from this I'm gonna wake is Christine's coming in a week. It was a two-week run of nasty show I go Christine's coming here in a week I go so I'm gonna have another one with Harry goes yeah, I got to stay away from this shit And then when I went with Christine's when we saw the Bobby picture on the thing

I go what out and Bobby goes a lot of people wanted to have meet love Sam It's a Bobby kept bringing them business. That's why they loved them so much They kept giving him free and all they told him his meet love sandwiches were on the house That's crazy Bobby was street team much. They kept giving him free. And all they told him his meatloaf sandwiches were on the house. That's crazy. Bobby was street team. He was a meatloaf street team. I thought I wanted those sandwiches right now.

So good. I can hear those kissable lips puckering up right now, Bobby. Over the boat. It's a grilled cheese. I'm not going to Montreal with amazing meatloaf in it. All right. Yeah, but it's the bread. It's the bread.

The bread is real homemade bread. And they it both sides both sides I didn't even know what I didn't even know what a shot he was but it was something like you got it from a girl in Jersey yeah like an STD Bobby do you accept the challenge of scaring fest strip down we don't have to go over the top I'm not gonna bring anything crazy to table just me and you just air drumming. What goes basic as you need? I'm coming to take you down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't trust.

Drummer. Drummer. Drummer. Drummer. Drummer. The third year anniversary show will have the second annual drum battle defending champion Big J. Ocarsten versus Robert Killey! Wow!

Our guest, um, I would say Bonfire regular. Tim Dylan, by the way, joining the show again. Tim Dylan? Uh, white right, meeting the enemy, a documentary that we kind of set up and I forgot Commander Steven is it oh yeah we didn't get Deacon correct But she retweeted us she did retweet is pretty cool. I bet you could get one of the Nazis These guys are ready for show this freaking the head like the first to made the documentary Start getting realistic and get a Nazi in here.

Yeah, I get it. She's not gonna be that good deacon anyway. It's gonna be like, well, you know what? Not sees a very hateful. This is your companion to white right, meeting the enemy. Yeah, brought to you by the bonfire. Bonfire companion.

She, this filmmaker grew up in Norway of Muslim descent and was at protests and she decided she did a interview for the bbc about uh... being a minority in i believe skin and avia and i could be off noria yeah it was about what he seems bbc but she received an incredible amount of backlash from white supremacists you know uh... a lot of it came from america and so she became interested so she reached out and she started filming with

these white supremacists around right before and during and after charlotte's bill so she got a very interesting point uh... and then she goes around and interviews these people but right now she's interviewing i believe his name is commander steven we're going to course give him his white supremacist or commander jeff maybe nobody wants to see a Nazi Who's like

Unshore Half convicted supremacist nobody wants an uncertain Nazi. It's like go in or not It's like you know what I mean you know what I mean you're selling me not see isn't me you're not selling me shoes You're not like why don't know you might like But if you don't you can bring them back. This is genocide. You got to be in or out. How do you feel black people? I don't love them His picket science is white power. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, he's like I think he's like we could do this But maybe we just need better schools. Yeah, rule. White power, if that's your thing. Yeah.

It's not cool. It's not cool. Hey, I left some more X-Crispy treats by the door. I got to get out of here. But if you're feeling my power, we're hanging out over here. We're in the parking lot, talking about how all the blacks should go back to Africa. If they want.

Right. I don't know why I just thought of Bob Dylan as a white supremacist running over here. He's like, go back to Africa stupid monkey Yeah, that's pretty good This juggle bunny hanging in the courtyard of my apartment You think I'd end up good enough bad Yeah

This is the Asian man building the railroads Yeah The Asian man, building the railroads! To you, to you, take my money, Take it back to Israel, Spread it around your khaki friends, And have a little dance. Cause the working man knows that Jews just switched the springs to Like, the springs to just break. Everyone knows that the reason that there ain't no jobs at the factories because of the

mix of candy. Blow that horn, spook. Wee-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep! They're coming in from Honduras. They're coming in from Sins. Hey boss, you're my child. I don't care. Cause I'm a what a mirror

Next thing I know I have a conversation with five a sub of man Stole my back Here my wife because I want to drink with Harry and blood. Thank God they went the good route. I was sitting down with some Mexicans explaining Hitler's a final solution until everyone understands. Ironically, I'm having these Mexicans build me a people oven. My backyard, for all that Jews living in Percipan New Jersey. I like, I like specifically, I like it,es the face, I like action on the end of a duct tape-axe handle. I'm not in my backyard. I'm not in my backyard.

And don't touch my note or leave my diary over. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95 or on demand on the Serious Ex-MF. Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM.