The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Date A Porn Star w/Addis Fouche & Ralph Sutton

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

The lovely Addis Fouche & Ralph Sutton are putting on a show in NYC this Thursday called "How To Date A Porn Star." Addis is an adult entertainer who dates regular guys. Ralph has dated many adult entertainers and is the owner of The Gas Digital Network. Bobby wants to date Addis and then take her home to snuggle. Jay shows her pictures of when Bob was young and hot. | Ms Fouche accidentally insults Jacob and the room erupts with laughter. For tickets to "How To Date A Porn Star" go to www.standupny.com! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Man, I was trying to hype this room up. Yo. No one gave a shit. It's a little too much. It's not too much. It's not too much. It's a little too much.

You get freaked out when Ralph comes in and towers over you. Me and Ralph are at an age where this is a little too much. We're a little too much for us. I've been at that age for quite some time. Ralph's a heavy metal guy, and he does also feel like it's a lot of crazy noise. Yeah, yeah. My medal was very different. You go back to my childhood.

So, it wasn't, you know, Judas Priest now seems like light music compared to what's out now. Yeah, I mean, it's a little performative. Twisted Sister was heavy metal. Judas Priest actually is gay music if you listen to it. I don't know if you know that, but he turned out he was gay. He's gay. You know that Twisted Sister just announced that Sebastian Bach's going to sing for them on this next leg of their tour. What?

Yeah. Happened today. What? Yeah. Twisted Sister with Sebastian Bach? Yeah, because these bowed out of it. You think he holds a grudge with me? Yeah.

A hundred percent. He holds a grudge with me. We've never spoken again since that. You think he's pissed at me? What a fucking doof. Yeah. He sucks. Yeah.

Hey, do you see him? Let him know he sucks. I'll make sure. Hey, let him know Jay said he sucks. You can apologize for yourself. Yeah. You can tell him I like him. I'll tell him you like him.

Bobby does not like him either. I met him. It is the Von Fier Faction Talk serious XM 103. Big Jokerson, the great Robert Kelly. We have two very fun guests in here. My old work husband. Ralph Sutton, an adult film star, Starlet. Was they stop saying that in the 70s?

Starlet? I like Starlet, yeah. Starlet. They actually murdered one of them back then. They called her Starlet. They changed it after that. Oh, that's why? Okay, well, I resurrected the word Starlet.

Bring it back. Thank you. We're going to have to murder you, though. I'd love to see you try. I would like to. This is a very strange hitting. Is this how you date a porn star, Ralph? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is rule number one. It's called Negging. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I was good to see you. I will kill you. Jesus, great. That's the hit on you. He goes, you look lovely.

I'll kill you. Happens all the time. Hi, everyone. My name is Addis Foucher. Addis Foucher. Joining the show again. Again, but this time with less penises in the room.

That's true. And smaller, smaller penises. Right, right, right. Oh, Addis came on. We talked about, I think, when we did SDR, so afterwards, Addis came on with three transgender porn stars. Oh, yeah.

Me, Isabella, two others, I don't call the name right now, but Mia Zabel particularly was all on one. And I don't even mean she was like on one, like shitty with anybody or nothing? She was just having her own conversation. She was having a good old time. Yes. Over the show.

And like we'd be talking to Addis or whatever we asked him about the show. And then she would just start talking to the other girl, just into the microphone. Like, can you believe I'm hungry? We should go whatever after this. Hey, it was the only time I ever saw Jay go, hey, we can't do this. Jay put his foot down.

which he very rarely puts his foot that. I'm so non-conversational. And on top of that, Mia's dick is 10 inches long and like real thick. I know. Didn't we once have a conversation like while the other two porn cells were talking to each other,

we're just giving each other the answers? Buddy, I just talked about that. Because one of the things... So we read it earlier on the show. We read the list you sent Lainie of porn stars that you've... Either went on dinner dates with or dated. Oh, my God, who?

Everyone. All of them. But Victoria's a drach. And that's one of the people you went. Did you hook up with her? I made out with her at a penthouse party. Right. And then she came on a Bohn, she came on a SDR show.

Oh, it was her, that's right now. And she was bringing her there to come, this is one of my, I think I have to stop doing the SDR show episodes. Because she was like, I'm trying to get my daughter into pornography. I was like, I'm trying to make sure my daughter gets not in pornography. This is awkward. And then they were, yeah, just different tears of doofy and dumb that we were playing a game, who knows who better, me and Ralph or mother-daughter.

And they were so blank-eyed just, like, staring at the ceilings that we were able to go, all right, for the next question, Ralph, I gave my answer was D. And Ralph would go, is the answer D? And then the girls would go, oh, come on. How do you know? You see the thing. Porky, barky, flinky, flinky potatoes.

That's what they talk. They talk like hamous. Jadav potatoes. Potato potatoes. Pata potatoes. That's a baby-faced guy. That's a baby-faced guy. So, you guys are doing a live show.

Stay in New York, new location. Yeah. And what's the show? How to date a porn star? Is this Ralph fucking dick-bragging for two and a half hours? Not at all. I was brought in late on this. Sorry.

No, you were. I had to explain it all. So I didn't even know what it was. I needed to have somebody who's, failed so many times at dating a porn star. So he's our example of what not to do. Yeah, that's right. So we have a bunch of people on the show,

on like our show. So there's a sex therapist. We also have Natalia Star. OG, big performer. We know Italia, yeah? Yeah, so we have a wide variety of people and then also Ralph's the failure. So that I think will be really fun.

You have Dante to... Don't Niro? Yes. Bitches up, hose down, strangle a bitch? Yeah. In case Corinne needs to get smacked, you bring Dante? Exactly.

I'll hit a bitch. Exactly. It's going to be so much fun, guys. So Ralph, so I want to know. What not to do in dating a porn star? Whatever I'm doing. Okay, amazing. Okay, perfect.

When you fart, not have it smell like salmon and vegetables? But is the discussion about how to long-term date of porn star or go on a date with a porn star? Because I really, Ralph's answer, he's going to be like this. It's going to be a very short speech. He goes, callaney. You know what, it's more about how to sustain a relationship with a porn star. Because I think I can just be like, hey, I'll take you on a date for five grand. That I don't give a fuck about.

But it's like how do you actually like date a porn? Why did you, why did you found? Well, because that's not dating a porn star. That's paying for one. Right, I know, but that is a date. Yeah. Once prostitution. Yeah.

Is the answer how to date a porn star just pay for it? Yeah, yeah, actually. But, yeah, if you want to actually like, we win. We win. That's what this is going to be about. Corey Holcomb's been right the whole time. So you can date a porn star.

If you call her up and say, hey, I got five grand? I mean, if you're not like an asshole. Like, I've fired people before. So for five grand, you have to be. be nice too? Yeah. Or at the very least, not horrible. What about $20,000?

Of what the idea is to be like to, I thought more was like, what's the psychology of dating a porn star in the business? Well, yeah. And you're not in the business. And something like that is. Correct. That is exactly what we're talking about. But I'm saying, but not like a transactional thing.

I'm saying more like two people meet. They like each other. Correct, correct. Like what are the nuances of dating somebody who has sex for work? See, I was thinking, and Jacob kind of asked this earlier at my thing. I go, I think I could definitely be fine with and move with someone who's not doing it anymore but did it more than the active part of it I think I have a problem with

eventually isn't every girl I think isn't every girl kind of a porn star no actually because I sucked dick way better than the average girl I approve it I have ten thousand dollars okay you doubled the money I am currently sitting on ten thousand dollars you have to blow me on the sawmill on the back to my house Easy, easy. And you have to jump out of the car while it's moving before you get back to Dawn,

because she's from Boston, and she don't fuck around like that. Honestly, that'd probably be one of the most fun spots I've ever had sex. Really? Yeah, there was one time I did actually have sex in the back of a yellow cab going over the Manhattan Bridge.

That was really fun. That sounds really good. Was it with Ralph? I wish. Why you like Ralph? No, I just want to see someone try to come and then not come. Oh, well.

Many times. Welcome to the party. I just want to see Ralph try to get his pants off in the back of a cab. He's six foot seven. You have to put his foot through the hole I'm angry. You see punch marks in the roof?

So it's going to be a Q&A with the... Yeah, Q&A. A discussion will open up the floor to audience questions afterwards, but I'm in a kind of moderating curate the conversation. Are you single? You know, I always have something sweet in the mix. Now, have you ever had a boyfriend, a long-term boyfriend?

Yeah, I actually had a boyfriend for two years when I very first started in the industry. Was he in the business? No. What did he do? He's a photographer and director. So he knew what you were getting into? Yes.

And he was cool with it. At first. Did he help you? Until you took seven. I know, right? Until I started making more money and it was more popular than him. Really? So you got jealous.

Oh, he got so jealous. When I saw my first brazzar scene, actually, was my braz's debut. He goes, oh, by the way, congratulations. Did I tell you that I got coffee with my ex like three weeks ago? And I was like, no, you didn't. What the fuck is wrong with you? So things like that were, like, guys, I think that they want a date a whore because it's like such an ego boost.

But then when you're actually dating a whore and you have to like reconcile with the fact that like other men fund her lifestyle, that's where like the jealousy kicks in. Right. Of course, but I don't must think the jealousy would kick in in a sense because like it's saying like it's going to make a guy also feel like

so wait, if I was doing better you wouldn't fuck other people for money? Well, I don't know. I mean, it would take a lot for a man to take me out of the game. I don't think it is even possible. Really? I'm 30.

Do you have an out date? No. You would do it? But do you want to jump at some point? Do you have like a plan like a plan? jump to producing at some point. Yeah, you know, I want to open my own studio. I'd also really like to open a marketing agency

that caters towards brands that are considered high risk. So, like, porn, you know, weed, stuff like that. I hope you stay in the game into your 70s and become an older black lady in the business. Me too. I'll be the angel ambassador of the industry. There's some point out of the 70.

I do, too. I hope Lanny passes her cane onto you. Good cane. I had a sum of it. You must wield this All her powers in that All her phone numbers are in it Exactly

Christine are you laughing or are you hurting Christine's holding like ice to her face Is Jay hit her? Is that what happened? Yeah, she's getting out of line And he knocked her tooth out of it This time I think she learned Yeah

I yeah Dry the dishes for you put them away Idiot She had dental surgery Oh Because I hit her So tonight, if you go to the show, is it going to be... Thursday.

Thursday night, Thursday night at the Stand-Up New York, correct? At the Rosewood Theater. Yes, so it's a collaboration we're doing with Stand-Up New York. Gotcha, gosh. So you're doing Rosewood Theater, and if I come, is it going to be single guys? All single guys? Is that what you're looking for, or couples? What do you want to show up?

Honestly, I'm looking for a mixture of couples that are interested in making new friends and single people as well. Because there's a lot of, like, sex workers who are lesbians, and they date women, but like they only have sex for men when they're working. So that's a whole other nuance there too. Right. So queer people, couples, ugly straight men, everyone's welcome. Also, this is like... It's gonna be mostly ugly straight man. I mean, you're looking right at me when you said that.

She's looking around the room. There's like the third or fourth one you've done with a different theme, right? Oh, I've done maybe, at this point, like maybe what eight? Like, we've done kind of a lot, yeah. We had one all about the BDSM and kink community. We had one all about orgasms. We've done a bunch of different ones. Nice. So I like brazer. Brasers are a great one. Oh, have you seen my browser? I'm going to, tonight when I get home.

Yeah, you should. In my sauna by myself in my garage. My first browser scene was I fucked on a pile of money. It's called making money makes me horny or something like that. I gotta be more freewheeling with the way I speak to women maybe. Bobby, what you just did made me so uncomfortable when she was like, yeah, whatever. You essentially were like, hey, it's been great to meet you actually. I'm gonna masturbate to you later on.

And you were like, that's great. And you just moved on. I would have been like, I respect her up. I looked at you like, you don't just say that to somebody. to somebody. I respect her art. I respect her art. Yes, you know, actually a lot of my exes... I'm gonna pound cock so hard to you later. And then a lot of my exes have said that... And then I think I'm gonna go to a diner. Is that it gonna be two... That's something a really nice date, actually. No, but a lot of my exes have actually had people, other people send them my porn. And they're like,

yo, look at your ex. She's so hot. You fumbled. Like, it's having many of my exes, actually. On the few dates that I've done with the porn industry women, guys would come up at the dinner table and say, oh, I love your work, which I just think is like, hey, I masturbate to you. while I'm sitting and having dinner with them. That was a pretty common car. Yeah, but you have to be okay with that. That's one of the things dating a blonde girl. You have to be okay with the fact that a bunch of dudes

are going to walk up while you're having dinner. Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. Almost like they come up to Jay and they go, hey, Jay, love your stand-up. And then I got to fucking pull my cog out. I'm going, where my face is. But that's the thing. It's like, look at that. Like all these guys are like unashamed going up to you guys

and being like, oh, my God, I love your work. But at the end of the day, you're taking her home, so who's really one? But let me ask you a question. They're kind of taking you home too. No. In a weird way. No.

Okay. So have you... Not that. Have you ever been on a date with a dude and another dude comes up and goes, I love you work? And been like, oh, that guy's cute. Yeah, no, I have cute fans.

Don't get me wrong, actually. Have you ever hooked up with a cute fan just because they're cute? Yeah. Okay. Do you think with everything you have to, like, do stuff to get over it kind of? With everything you have to, like, do it to get over it? over it. What do you mean? Like so

in some ways of dating a porn star it's almost like the first few times that you have sex with your boyfriend after you've done a gang bang scene or whatever like days after that that you have like uh that they're like and you're kind of like oh the world's still

normal. Yeah exactly. Like our personal life still normal. No totally. I just said I'm sorry for laughing I'm laughing. I'm laughing because I'm seeing you talk to the smoking hot porn star and I'm just looking over your chick. I was just gonna hold She's just gonna

A fucking bag of ice to her face I tried to get through it I really did I was like I can't I gotta put some ice on this fucking thing Poor Christina's just sitting My face hurts I don't even notice that first

Oh my God I didn't notice at all Wow you look great Oh Christine You look great No no I didn't notice at all It's gone down a little Yeah

This is a funny No but you're right Jay It's like honestly I feel like there's two camps Right there's the guys We're like, no, no, I can totally handle this. And then it like settles in, and then later they start to get it in their head. And then there's other guys who, like, at first they're all nervous and they, like, actually get to know you in the work.

And they're like, oh, a piece of cake. And there's probably people who are coming too amped up about it, which they probably have bad idea. Like, it's like, do you also, you don't want a guy where it's his kink that you do porn. Exactly. Or, like, you can always tell, like, the kind of guys who always just wanted to be around a porn star. Like, one of my guy friend, well, he's not my guy friend anymore. We ended up fucking after this party. And he said the weirdest thing.

He was like, I've only. seen this ass on the internet. And I was like, ew, I'm never, I'm never going to fuck you again. By the way, if Ralph has sex, he's going to stay during it,

I'm going to masturbate you later. We're fucking curled. I like that you assume that I're going to have sex twice in one night. Yeah, that's like very wishful thinking that two people are going to want to do that. Well, he's a runner now.

Oh, sure. Is this to teach guys to be able to date long term so they don't get? Jesus. I mean, that's horrible. Hey guys, we'll see you tomorrow. Wednesday.

We should just end the show, right? I mean, that's the end of the show. You're so quiet. Oh, my God. That's not my show. Oh, my. That's not awesome. Where did you go here?

I came in after it. You probably didn't see me. Oh, wow. I guess. We did not. Yeah, I know. That is wonderful. Take it time, Jay.

Take whatever time you need, buddy. Take whatever time. Just take you time. She did a real. She was going to go. She thought Jacob was a Roomba Jacob has the charisma of a chair You are you saying

Jacob, hello She thought you were a jacket on a chair I thought I grew out of that hurt But I haven't It hurts like it's in high school That's why you have to take Ralph's comprehensive program I was trying to engage

But now I don't care No no please wait ask me again No I can't I There's a hole I want to crawl into her I'm so sorry. Apparently you're already in it. Jacob, come out of your hole and ask your question. Bloom for us.

Yes. Now, the question was, it seems like the guys that you were dating are okay at the beginning. Yeah. So you're trying to teach guys how not to lose it. You know, and I think that guys... And not be jealous. Right, Jacob. Because I think a lot of guys, like, they think with their dicks, right?

They're like, I don't know. I can totally handle this. Like, even if they, in the back of their mind know that they might not be able to, it's the fact that, like, this girl's really hot and she's also a porn star, that they convince themselves they can. Because we think, can I say something on the side of those guys? Oh, sure. Just to give you, I want to give you a different perspective.

Okay. You know, because I feel like, because, God, you really fucking, she looks at me. I freak out. When, because. He's still afraid of black people. I know, right? It's fucking crazy. I didn't even know she was born.

I'm going to start a rumor that you think all lives matter, actually. I do. You don't have to start. Bobby's got a blue lives matter on his chest. That's actually on my Instagram page. Listen to me. I won't tell you, Bobby won't tell you. Bobby's recently saved two ethnic people from certain doom.

Two ethics. And they were ethnic? I got my favorite. A black child from drowning in Costa Rica. Yes. In the ocean. Wait, this person was a child? Yeah.

Oh, that makes it even cooler. Yeah. And she was a woman. Oh, my God. I'm definitely going to suck you in a guy after. A girl. And that's when he texted me from Costa Rica. I say five black children.

Oh, that's right. I say five black child. Five blood drops for you. Blow me. And what about my finger in a butt? I say the baby. Uh-huh. Amazing.

Amazing. Amazing. And what I'm saying. Thank God your fingers are already brown. I know. Exactly. Let's hear it. What I'm saying is that

that you, sex to you, you've done a lot of stuff. You do, you know. So sex to me, like when I have sex with a girl, I like making out. I like to, you know, do, is there, it might be intimidating to be with you because you know

you've done so much stuff. You want to do. So how do I know what not to do to you? Do I do too much? Well, I'll tell you that, because that's the thing, shoot our scenes. Everybody has like a no list and so you go over people's

no list. Like what's like things you don't like to do? What's your no list? I mean I know this is very short coincidentally but I don't like it when people bite my nipples because they're really sensitive and they're also pierced and so like it's just very like it's over-sensitive. I don't like that. I don't like when people put their tongue in my ear. It feels like a

wet willy and it's weird. Right I hate that too. Right so just stuff like that but like I'm okay if you put your finger in my butt. We're okay with like a rough face fucking whatever happens. I was like out of it goes This is me very, don't put your tongue in my ear. Double anal? Yeah, yeah.

Totally, yeah. I'd have wrote it down if it was on the list. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Just check the postage. It's right here, it's a short list. I actually like tongues in my ear. I just don't like the aftermath when stuff comes out on your tongue and you go, put, put, put, blah.

That bothers me. You do love getting your ass blasted, too, though. Not blasted. He's open to the idea, though. Not blasted. Just a calm entering and exiting. If it's a woman with a penis, he'll do it. No, no, I don't like stuff in my butt. He really wants to.

I don't want to. I don't believe you. I can't tell you anything, Jay. This was earlier. He told me he wants to gape for his wife. I can actually gape. Oh my God, I can gape. I'm going to throw up.

What? I don't like gaping. You know that. Are you sure? That's when you open your vagina up and it looks like something. No, it's an asshole. No, no. That's when they pull out the dick

and then your asshole kind of goes, ah. Yeah, the prolapse, right? No, that is a different thing. Now you're just introducing different stuff. I'm sorry. It's gaping. I told my friend Anna, she would come in here and not talk to fucking idiots, Bob.

Exactly. And you aren't making us look stupid as shit right now. I don't know what gaping is when you, what is that? Okay, that's when you're getting fucked in the butt, right? And then you pull the dick out. And then there's like extra space because, you know, like now the asshole can stretch and it goes, so you can see inside the asshole. Yeah.

That's not perlaping is when it goes inside out. I do not want to see inside of an asshole. Are you sure about that? Bobby. It's just a dark hole. No, but it's different. There you go, Bobby. Yeah.

Ah, I don't want to see that. That's gaping. That looks like something from. space. Right. And I don't like it. No, but here's a thing, if you put your hand in there, weirdly, like two of your fingers will come out of your ears. Right, exactly, exactly. It's like a star gate. I know. There's something inside that.

Is that what Otto and George did? Yes, yes. That is gaping. That's the great gait here. That's the worst thing. That's what we call on the biz breaking on through to the other side. I don't know. I don't want to see a dark hole. Wow. Unless I did magic. Now your racism comes out of it. If a watch came out of there, you like, look, it's her

happy birthday to you. Wait. Oh, but, but, answer your question back to the topic. Yes. Um, yes. Like, I mean, here's the thing, like, trying so many things like eventually, like, loses this novel team.

Yeah. And eventually it's like, do I want to, you know, entertain a scat fetish? No, I don't, right? I'm actually, like, certain things, I'm just like, you've reached your threshold, at least to me. Right.

Um, and yeah, like, I mean, that's pretty funny. No nipple biting earlicks are shitting on my chest. Yes, exactly, exactly. It has stolen the same post. Mm-hmm. So, like, I mean, for me, like, I think guys get intimidated

because they're like, oh, she's more experienced. but it's like, yeah, she could literally have sex with anybody she wants and you're still in the room, so what are you worried about? But do you have to fuck? Can we just snuggle? Can we go home and just watch a movie and not fuck? Yes.

What movie are we watching? I was going to say the new movie role play, which is really fun. It's about a biracial couple, but the wife is an assassin. It's on Prime right now. You're making Bobby Panic. It's really specific, too.

It was a really good movie. And do I get to assassinate you or who's assassinating? No, like I'm saying, like, all right, say me and you. you go on a date, right? Okay. I just wanna go, maybe, we have a first date,

we go out to dinner and spend a lot of money, treat you nice, then we go back. Already establishes it's like 10 grand. I know, right? Do you see how my eyes perked up when you say, spent a lot of money? This is cutting into your butthole finger in money. Exactly.

We're getting to it. So then we go, we have all crazy sex. Okay. And then next time, maybe we go to your apartment and we watch True Romance and get a little snacks. Yes, because at the end of the day, people don't understand that like,

you know, porn stores, we're still like people. Like, I was a person before. What? What? I was like a porcer before. I got some calls to make. Wait, so I'm going to make some phone calls. I'm asking you, like, if we go to bed,

will you help me put my CPAP machine on? No. Well, that you have to handle on your own. Because I'm scared of that. Okay, all right. That's very X-Men to me. Whoa, you don't want to see next to a guy who breathes like Darth Vader all that?

I do not, actually. Gaping, she's not afraid of a T-Pap machine. Yeah, no, actually. But that's the thing also. There is something you have to enjoy your work to some degree. I think that's the thing that would bother a guy, too, is coming home. It's not that you like, fuck.

If you came home and you were like, oh, once I hit this goal of whatever, like I got to get out of this. Like, I did a fucking gang bang today. And this guy had like the biggest fucking dick. But if you came home and you were like, who goes, why was a hell of a day? Like, goddamn, so-and-so fuck's good.

Like, I could see a guy being at home being like, oh. And the thing is, it's even if you're not saying that, him feeling me. It's like him, you're not saying that, but he's like, oh, she seems like getting a good mood. That must have been a great gang bang today. So I've been fucking two of my accent. is actually.

Oh. I don't know. No. I like consistent sex. I like consistent sex and like knowing what kind of person they are and keeping them in arms. But one in those like, so like, do you ever just get like lost in the scene and just like have fun? I'm like, you don't want the answer to that question because if I say yes, you're going to be jealous. If I say no, you're going to think I'm a damsel in distress or that I'm being like.

Or lying for his benefit. Yeah. So like you don't want the answer to this question. Well, there's a big difference between like coming home. I think Jay was saying is, oh man, the show was great tonight. I loved it. The crowd was hot. And you coming on a dude, those dicks were awesome today.

I think it said that's a tough thing. It's like you don't want what you do to be their kink. But they have to also find it. You got to just find people who find like the hotness. We don't care. They have to all think it's a little bit hot or else it will eventually just be like the first time you don't have like two weeks where you don't fuck each other and you fucked at work three times.

You're like, oh, so I guess you're fucking at work now exclusive. It's just like I can see the. Yeah, but like also too, like the dick could be really fun. but then I don't actually care about my co-star as a person. Like, there are a lot of people in the industry. I don't care if you live or die. I'm so serious. But, like, are you good to work with?

Yes. Are there people who you fuck good with and then actually when the scene was over or since they've just been like they actually fucking suck? I don't want them at all. Yes. Really? Many. Ralph.

Ralph. Many such cases. Yes. I think I told you guys ahead of time. I'm really sorry. I have to leave. Yeah. I have somewhere to be.

Where? You finally getting your breast implants? Yeah. Yeah. I have to go practice up. this night, I gotta make sure I have all my ducks in a row. Do you have a date with the porn store tonight? No, no, but I do have to get out of here.

I told Christine ahead of time out of my time. Are they making you your wife finally? Yeah. It was like 15 more minutes left anyway, so, so we can go, buddy. I appreciate it. Hi, Ralph. Have so much fun. All right, dude.

I'll see you on Thursday. I'll see you on Thursday. Him and Addis are going to be at Stan, or not at the... We're at the Rosewood Theater. The Rosewood Theater. Yes. That's this Thursday. The Lustfiles Presents.

Had a date of Pornuarton, New York. Standup, N.com. Thank you. I feel bad. Ralph, we were going to do 30-second drawings if you and her together. It's okay. That's all right.

We can do it next time. This is going to be the first time I ever had. This is the first time I ever had, this is the first time I ever had, I was going to see you full frontal. Oh, did Lainty not tell you? Full nude pictures. Ralph.

Why do I feel like you look really crazy naked? Oh, you can't hear me. No, he can't hear me. He's older. He's going to get new bolts putting his neck. I think he looks like Mr. Mr. Potato Head naked. Well, it is funny.

I bet he runs all time, so I bet he's pretty slim at this point. Probably slim, but very oddly shaped. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's a giant weirdo. When you, like, drop a can on the floor. No, it's kind of like, he looks like, he looks so much like Peter Steele from typo-negative Ralph, and what's funny, we see Peter Steele did Playgirl. It's pretty much why I picture Ralph, like, even though Peter Steele's in shape, he's just so, like, milky, white, long hair guy that it's not like, it still looks wrong.

He's 1970s movie star in shape. Very Edward Cullen. Very Edward Cullen. They were never in shape. You know what? If I was in a dude. Oh, no. Oh, ew.

He looks like he eats people. But you see what I mean? Yeah, it's like, it's like... That is a bronze essential. I'm saying, he's in good shape, obviously, but I'm like, I'm not jealous of that shape at all. And you see, that's exactly it. There's some guys in the industry that, like, I am...

I see the appeal, but I'm not into them. Have you ever dated a fat dude? You know what? No, but I have an ex-boyfriend who's gay now. Well, that's not even the same fucking favorite. I mean, what the fuck was that in college? Just say, no, wow, wow. Jay, it's all right.

I don't know what they. She goes, no, no, but one was gay. Yeah. So, no fast, just gays. No fast, just gays. No fast just gay. Yeah. I feel like I'm the most likely person

of a gay ex-boyfriend, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. You thought they were so fun for a while. I did. How was the sex with him? Amazing. Really? Did you like it in the butt?

Oh, you know what? He didn't. But he put me through the mattress daily. Oh, okay. He was so good in bed. It was like he was like the pussy whisperer. And now he was gay. Right.

Well, he got, he went beyond pussy. Well, yeah, he studied it up so much. He realized that he had, he's just a genitals whisperer at this point. It doesn't matter what. It's like I've done all I can with the pussy. I need to go to Dick now.

He's graduated. He's in graduate school. He might come back. He has a Michelin star in pussy. I hope he comes back. Have you had fun people, celebrities and your DMs? Yeah, I have.

Fun ones? Yeah. People that we know. Yeah, people you know and love. People we know and love now people who have won awards Benjamin Netanyahu You know some politicians There's actually a politician's son that I hook up with a lot

Really? Yeah, right It's a Cuomo boy for sure No, no no Byrdie's Cuomo, it's Baron Trump And you know what And he invited me to his birthday party the other day And I was like, no, sorry

Because he was bowling Aaron Trump? No, I wish Oh, the person, the son of the politician He's like, do you want to come my birthday party And I just didn't want to go bowling at 6 o'clock So I said no Do you have any, do you have like stuff on people where you can be like, dude, I can fuck you.

Oh, totally. Really? Yeah. Wow. You know I'm in the Epstein files. I believe that. Look at you. You want to hug up?

Spikes on your hands. Just you know, in case you want to hook up, I've been in the obscene files. Not once but twice. You're like, I don't mean to brag, whatever. I've been around internationally. I feel like there's not enough other comics that are excited about this on that list. Well, yeah. Well, I wasn't in it and I was very upset.

I talked to Ari Sheffir today. He was very bummed that he wasn't on the two lists. that I was on. Colin Quinn was in it, which is crazy. Made it nice. It was just an advertisement for a comedy show. Somebody emailed him, but still. Wait, that's actually kind of smart.

It's in the file. Yeah, right. I believe it. It's in the file. I wasn't in New York at that time. Have you ever been to an island? Have you been asked to go to something like that? Yeah.

You have. Yeah. And what did you say? Oh, that I had a scene to shoot. Oh, you had to go there for a scene. No, no, I was busy, so I didn't go. Oh, really? You asked Google to the E.

E.M.C. and Ireland? No. To an island. Ann Island. Stick with the program. Okay. Well.

And then when you get the island, he goes, now I want you to shit on my chest. I actually did, I have had a scat client before. So you wanted me to shit on the floor? So he could like scoop it up in the newspaper and sniff it while he jerked off. But he miss his dog? Jacob, stop making faces of understanding.

It's a disgusting thing. Jacob's like, I concur. Jacob's like, yo, I get it. That's why I wear this dukey brown jacket. Yes, yes, yes. So he wanted you to shoot. In case somebody scats on his chest He's already ready.

The thing is he wanted to pick it up. And I was like, well, how's like, how's that going to work? But how do you pick it up? With a bag? No, no, no, no. We laid the newspaper on the floor. Okay, and he picked it up with the newspaper. Yeah, and you know what?

That's how I know. I'm just not into SCAT. Because I knew it before. But no, I really know that. You know why? Because it's shit. Well, yes. And you know, and you know what he like, he kept the newspaper?

You know what I found out recently? You know, SCADA is shit? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I found new every day. You don't have to find out the hard way on an island? Scared of shit. Yeah, same thing.

Synonyms. Who do? Fucking Germans? He, no, no, he, like, he's scooped up. He took it to go. He took it to go. I don't know what he did with it after. He took it to go?

Yeah. I like he wrapped at newspaper, like, fresh fish. That was actually a doggy shit bag. It's like when you come home with some meat in the newspaper. There you go. Straight from the butcher. Yep. So now, I know a friend of mine who used to be in

And he used to, the girls used to... Jim Norton. You've worked with him, I'm sure. Wow. What the fuck, Jay. James Norton, I believe you've worked for them. I believe he's demoted you before. The girls used to have to eat certain food because he didn't want, you know, runny poop.

Oh, yeah. You have to eat a certain meal that day. Oh, you need your facetium hush. You need your fiber. You needed to be fluffy, like a loaf of bread. You wanted to come out and not stain your chest. You wanted to have more of a frozen yogurt kind of consistency. Good, Bobby.

Keep trying to out gross her out. She's going to win, dude. I am. You have a weak stomach, man. She's going to get you. She's going to get you. She's going to shit newspaper for a stranger on an island. You're not going to beat her in this.

That's my favorite poem. No, but one time the girl lied and said that I ate right today, blah, blah, blah. I got a nice fluffy one, and she showed up and a suppository fell on his chest. Wow. That's so special. Oh, so you know she was doping. Ah. What's that, dude, that Kurt Metzger joke?

I don't get the whole thing what he says, finding out. Because you guys know two girls, one cup was faked, it turns out. It was, you could tell. I know, but he goes, he goes, the guy told me that, and I went, what? He goes, not the reaction you're supposed to have, like, oh, thank God.

I mean, I was so terrible. He goes, I went, what? You're angry about it? You guys, the two girls, one goes fake? What? I based my whole life on that since then. That that's the world we live in. So Thursday night, you're going to be there.

Yeah. And you're going to be helping guys learn how to date a porn star. Jacob, you're going. Yeah, Jacob, you should go. Jacob, you should come and make sure you take off the coat, please. I want to know it's underneath the coat. Jacob, also. You want to know he's there.

Jacob, you don't need a ticket at all because no one's going to know you're there. You can just float off the street like dust. That's because Jacob dresses like the back of a chair. Jay, we got to go I feel like I might actually put you in my cart at IKEA, you know? Laney's going to this thing, you know there's going to be fucking porn stars hanging out.

Jacob, you should go Thursday night to see, and then come back on Monday and let us know what you learn. See if you learn anything. It would be nice for you to find out if you could learn something. If you could learn how to... If you could learn anything.

If you could learn anything at all be fantastic. Some of these skills are going to go over to regular women, too, right? Yes, exactly, exactly. This is for the guys, the girls, the gays, and the couples. I say Draft King, I'd say that after the thing that Jacob winds up on Ralph's list. Serious XM host. Three hours.

Serious XM host, dated. We kissed, and then he went home, nervous. Just dinner. Just dinner. But he tried. Did he invite you to an island? At Ted Montana's. Oh, it's the best, dude.

That was so fun when the porn starts to come in and would read Ralph's DMs to them, just trying afterwards. Kendra's was the... Wow. When he wrote the thing, it was Kendra Sotom and dated, I go, what? No, you didn't? And that's the first one I realized it was like a dinner date, though. But I'm saying it was like a dinner date. They didn't have fuck or anything like that because I was like,

Kenes. That would have been a thing they were talked about. Yeah, no, definitely. She wasn't on the list he told me to put her on. Oh, of course he did. Well, we had dinner. Yeah, I took her out. He went to beef up his fucking thing.

Yeah, he was trying to pat his resume. That's son of a bitch. Have you ever dated a comedian? You know what? I haven't. And he wasn't even funny. You have? It wasn't funny.

Like, he was funny on stage, but he wasn't funny in real life. Really? That's my neighbor said about me. Yeah, yeah. You're real serious in real life. I'm like, you're drunk at noon. Yeah. That is very true.

Do we know the community? Like, is he famous? Well, you do because he's on ladies' roster. Oh, yeah, Brett. Yeah, yeah. I did use to. Yeah, Brett Raybold and I had a situation ship, a little flirtation ship. White boy?

Yeah. He's been on a desk. I love white boys, actually. Yeah, we fucked you on dates. you know, whatever. He was, he did that movie, he did that race,

the play, the movie. Yeah, yeah. That guy, yes, that's what. That's him, that's him. Good for him. I know. Bobby, that kills you.

Are you fucking with him? Bobby. No, I'm actually not. Bobby, do you remember how young, can you show a picture? Show us a picture of young Bobby, please. Young Bobby will never understand

how this guy got you. I know. Young Bobby was stud. He really pulled very well. young Bobby is a fucking oh yeah yeah yeah don't worry Christine always brings it up this is part of her jail says Oh my god You gotta get to fuck wait a minute Come on my god you are so cute what the fuck

I mean that's the wrong That's the wrong That's the not thing that I would like to hear Oh my gosh oh smash oh smash all day long Smash yeah Where's the one I showed you the other day Chris Look at that reflection of Dennis Wolfberg in your lapels That's so spooky

Dennis Wolfberg Wow Yeah look at little Bobby Oh my god Look at that muscle look at Look at this guy Whoa who's that Is that you?

Yes Yeah that's me as a life guy All right let's stop talking about it I think we're actually making Bobby really upset Wait wait I thought that was you and you were trans I thought that was long hair I haven't transitioned yet I'm 60

So I can get a deal with Netflix You're not 60 yet Are you sure? No, no. Okay. Oh my God, you're fucking... She knows you like this, though. I do like it.

Dude, you've been three-quarters hard since she started ragging your ass. As soon as she said, oh, my God, when she saw that photo. Yeah. Look at this. There's another one right there. Oh, smash. Easy.

That was prime. That guy's still in there. No, he's not. He's died. Oh, okay. Let's bring him back. Yeah. Yeah.

No, no, no. This, this Dominican Bob over there. I'm not going to show you. little pictures of me because I look better now for sure. I'm glad of yourself aware, thank you. Don't look at my old picture. I won't show you a picture, he won't, but I will. Oh.

Oh, my God. Wait, which one is he? He's the woman in the back. Oh, okay. You son of a bitch. I told her he showed her so great pictures of you. There is. That's not me.

Oh, my God. Wait, wait. You look that kid from Matilda. It's not me. That was his family photo. That was his family photo. That's a little thing from Matilda. Are you sure?

Yes, that was a woman. Doesn't it feel good, does it, Jay? I show great pictures of you. I said, bring up sexy Bobby. You sandbag me in front of that is a Hoosier. Seriously. Christine, put that ice bag on your mouth again. Oh, God, Christine, go on my big fat walking around on P. Diddy show.

That's right. I didn't get invited to a P. Diddy party. I didn't get raped or nothing. God, wasted a day oil. Wasted her time. What a waste of time to be on P. Not get raped at all. You were managed by Pity for three years.

Three years. I mean, he makes you sign a contract when he did the show and no one looked at it and there was a clause in it that says if you get anything for the next three years he will get a manager's cut

because you were on this glorious show that was essentially just a thing to show off his stupid fucking clothing line. Well, yeah. There's Bobby.

There, oh. Look at that. Hey, where's the jacket end and Bobby's coming to begin? I don't know because this is what he just did to me. I'm sorry. He did save a little black

He did save a little black girl, Ghost Rica. Thank goodness. Oh, oh, all right. There he is. Oh, my God. This is from Bobby's specials. It's behind a paywall. It's called, Yes, my eyes are sweating.

I actually saved a girl with that shirt. He did. He did. He's a parachute. Oh, my God. He swaned from like a baby in that shirt. Oh, God. Bobby used to have, I used to open for Bobby at college shows when I first started out.

Yeah. And Bobby was doing, he was the college comic. And there was a picture of him when we walked in to one of them. And I mean, these girls, it was like the seven girls who ran the, you know, whoever put in the show on for the school, the student government or whatever, they would go,

they clam around by him, bring him over to bring this giant picture of him. And it was, he was like this. This picture with a button-down shirt, Cango hat open, and laughing at something. He's like, ah. I wasn't laughing. I was actually finger-jerked off. I was finger-popping

the photographer that was taking the photo. Oh, that's kind of cute. That's kind of a man taken away. It was romantic, and that was a great picture, and these girls came out. I mean, first of all, I went up there, I'm young, and I also, some things where you can't curse, you can't do all this stuff, I didn't know. And I panicked, and I just had, like, such a whatever set. And then I had to watch, I'm driving, so I wanted to leave after the show. And Bobby's like, well, hang on, they have to carry him around the room a little bit.

They came up and presented them with the greatest comic ever award. That's not a real award. They gave him the greatest comic. They gave him a trophy, the greatest comic ever at the school award. That's how much girls wanted to fuck Bobby. And so what was the reflection point where you became this way? I had to go ring the bell every hour. I got married.

I got married and I had a kid. He actually gave birth to the kids. He actually gave birth to the kids. Wait, wait, wait, baby. How old is your kid? He's very progressive. He's worked very hard to lose the weight. I'm laughing because that was so funny, but you're also saying it with your foot, your leg.

Yeah, why is your leg? I'm doing my Bobby pose. I like to show Addison I'm very flexible in case we get into some weird shit later. Thursday night. I'm also a gaper. You're going to be at the

The Rosewood Theater with Ralph Sutton, Dante Niro, a bunch of other people that are going to do. Corinne Fisher. It's Thursday night. March 5th, Lust Files, presents how to date a porn star. Get tickets at standup, New York.com. Jacob, you're going to go.

You have to go, Jacob. You might see me there. Yes. You're going. He's going. Your Lainey's plus one. You've got to go and tell us how to do it. Your Lany's plus one.

Then you're going to be on her list. You're going to be on Lainey's list for dated. Dated and caned in the ass. Big J this weekend is going to be at San Fron, San Francisco, Friday and Saturday, then Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, March 13th and 14th. After that, Madison, Phoenix, Tempe, St. Louis, for tickets in all tour dates.

BigJ Comedy.com. and check out his YouTube page, YouTube.com slash at Big J. O'Kerson. Bobby Kelly's going to be at the Verbe in Somerville, New Jersey, March 19th, Comics Roadhouse, and Mohegan's Sun, Connecticut. Roll it up. April 17th and 18th.

And after that, Uncle Vinny's in Jersey, Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans. For all tickets and tour dates, go to punchup.org, dot live, Robert Kelly. And, of course, his new YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. And every Tuesday night, Fat Black Pussycat Lounge, the Comedy Cellar.

Check him out live. Oh, that was a fun show, man. Thank you, Addis. Thank you, Addis. Show, go say hi to Jacob while you're there. Yeah, please, if you can find him. Jacob, you're going to be a hero there.

Jacob, don't sneak up on her like that anymore, you piece of shit. Hey, guys, if Jacob goes, I want you to carry him out at the end like a hero. Please. I promise. I promise. Please.

Jacob's going to be a swinger by the time at night's over. He's dating three porn stars. All right, we'll see you guys tomorrow. See you. It's the bonfire.