The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dave Attell & Ian Fidance

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Dave Attell & Ian Fidance bring joy for the holidays!

Bob and Big J. Okerson. And I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to a full two hour long episode of the Bonfire on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy. Go to SeriesXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. And Nashville Plus he dude.

You ever see Nashville Plus live they were great the two girls would like like get on stage and shit at least in Memphis cock do not you know was in Nashville pussy when I saw them remember Cherokee Parks yes the best player his sister and she did a bunch of nude modeling stuff pretty pretty former Duke player and BF player. Yes, that's right. And also a pornographer. Everybody's the Bond Fire Faction Talk Series X and one of the three big Jopers in Dan Soda. We're hanging out to my favorite guys, to my favorite guys hanging out right here. First, of course, we have Ian Finance, the hilarious

Ian Finance returning, returning to the show. A favorite here. Part of the live shows. Hello. Play Jacob Orn's. I did. That was so fun. hilarious in finance returning returning to the show a favorite here part of the live shows hello play Jacob Warns I did that was so fun absolutely amazing and of course everyone The funniest man in show business makes noise for the legend David tell Guys as you know, I always try and bring in a few sweets. Yes. Well, are we ready? Here's some chocolate sannos. Yeah Oh, thank you Dave. I love Santa's chocolate. It is good See, are we found today that DJ Luke and thank you to languages

Christine caught hers wow well Luke couldn't because David threw it at a hit a monitor. That's fair. Yeah. Oh I with Fatter fingers and Ian you can take this one the broken Santa I'm off sugar so thank you wow a child. Okay. Well, here's a tampon. Yeah Delicate lady, very nice David Tells gonna be a Caroline's on Broadway the final headliner a Caroline. Yes, it's bittersweet J It is bittersweet December. It's Wednesday December 28th through Friday December 30th You can get ticket to davatel.com. I I'm coming Wednesday. Awesome. I move things around so I can make sure I come because I leave Thursday

Who I found your Santa Where where you headed, Jay? I'm going to San Diego. Well, actually, you'll love this. I'm going to San Diego for New Year's weekend. Then I'm going to go to LA for Sunday Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday night. I'll be driving to the AVN awards with Ralph because we're nominated for an AVN for best

adult podcast. Yes, do you understand? That'd be great. Best stand-up adult podcast. Yes, that's gonna be great. Best stand-up blowjob. Hey, you know what? I hope it happens because there's a snow, snowbombs, snow effects. What is it again? Something, some of the snow storm is heading that way, guys.

Towards Vegas? Towards that whole area of the country. So, Jay, really, honestly, I'm careful out there. Lock up. Especially during the avians, honestly. Yeah, so people will be using their anal beads Ires and pure chaos something. I'm warming up Did you beat your tires before you drove in you've been the avians Dave any advice you I've I've by the way I've been saying on all of my

Broadcast because every time I say I'm going to the avian as they go, oh, are you hosting it? And I go, David tells, told me for years, don't host the avian awards that they, I will approach it wrong. And you know the deal and you're just like, they want like you making fun of like the business. No, yeah, it's very serious. And they take it very seriously. And a good friend of mine, Scott is really heavily involved in that. And I think this year, aren't they doing it on zoom or something?

No, no, no, this is the first back of our life. Awesome. Well, you'll have a lot of fun. It's quite an event. They really put a lot into it and let's face it, it's Vegas. And I got to thank you guys for having me out there for Skankfest. Oh, yeah. That was really an amazing turn out and amazing production. Tip of the hat to Steve putting that together with Lewis. I mean, honestly, yeah, Lewis, you were sorely missed out there. I know, I was. I missed it.

Well, you had a rival festival. That's I was I was at angel fest. You were at cutie pie. How's that cutie pie? Paloos. Wait, it's just only hugs only hugs and handshakes. Well, there are a lot of lots ones. And everyone got COVID. So. Do you know Dave, you'll appreciate this too. I wanted to bring the subject up.

Because it was the thing I wrote in my, I think two weeks ago in my phone is a subject for the show. And every time I say the name, no one remembers who this person is. I have no idea who it is. Do you remember Dame Edna? Yeah.

No one remembers who that is. And I was all I came up with the question. The only way I had the subject written was, what the fuck was Dame Edna? What. No one remembers who that is. And I was all I came up with the question. The only way I had the subject written was, what the fuck was Dame Edna? What was the whole thing? It still has your idea what it was. What is? She was the original gender fluid, you know.

First life. He was a guy dressed like a lady. Well, yeah. A guy dressed like a lady doing an old British thing. And for some reason, people loved it for a few years. She heard. Oh, no. It was like British Jimmy Cliff. Yeah, it really is few years. She heard it. Oh, no. It was like British Jimmy Cliff.

Yeah, I really is like Mrs. Doubtfire. It looks like a Benny Hill character. Yeah, but I don't get like, it was so famous. No one knows that dress. Oh, you're seeing an old gray weiner with socks up to the knee black with a little sock. And the little thing. They got that British voice. And I don't have to give a little sock. I don't know. I think of that British voice.

I don't know. I have to give a little tug on me governor. There's a bit of a moat on the undercarriage. How you understand? You feel like they met the for sure as like a sad guy now. They'll bring up her talking, him, her. Should it say Julius Scottie? Who's that?

You know, like the first trans comic. Oh really? The plays like only the Philadelphia New Jersey area. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a dry state old trans comic. She's great, but how old? So alike.

I think she's in her sixies or seventies. She's the guy. Do you think I'm stuff, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's like made of trans, Julia Skoddy, isn't it? Do you think she's like, yeah, did you no, it's it's like made of transit Julia Skoddy is a man. She's like, yeah Did you guys see this fucking British guy? I'm down in what I'm down for real

Yeah, not for nothing, but they trying to be a trans me. Yeah, got my dog cut off back in the 90s Yeah, I had a Trinidad Colorado that one only talks. He don't snip Oh, yeah, they're talking. It's so weird. So it was so was it was a common was a comic. I guess TV personality more so. Yeah. I think she had her own chat, uh, chat show as well. So like, like like a Robin bird or no, no, it was like very, very big. Oh, okay.

I just never got it. It's like the in it. Watch. Do just play the stand up. It's all the most basic level of JFL Russian You see Eddie isn't I'm still saying it isn't fair as it was through to be back here at home. Why work so hard for it?

It's a different time. I'm just throwing on a goddamn dress and made it. Yeah, guys, I'll be out there in two minutes. Let's put makeup on. Give me one second. But seeing that full audience at JFL, huh? That brings you back There's Montrealians. They really enjoy it. I have also have Santa for the guy in the booth

There's no one no one in the booth. Oh good today. Then that one's for me Blackburn Jacob or home and Jacob left what happened? Where Jacob go? I went to Florida Did you guys have to downsize like Twitter? Yeah, the sign name agreement we'll let a few people go Did you work harder with their gone? Did you watch the Dave Chappelle bring out Elon Musk? I saw I saw that in the news Yeah, when he brought him out and everyone started booing. I don't understand why he brought him out to begin with He said you just the liberty, you know, right? Elon has a tight five. Yeah.

Yeah. She's like a star fucker now. And he's like the biggest controversial figure right now. So why wouldn't he bring him out? But just like I can't believe he agreed to come out. It was just such a thing like, hey, y'all, you heard he'd on musk. Here he is. And you know, musk comes out. He's like, I know. But he said he said the richest man in the world. He should come out throwing alcoverans. Yeah. Here you go. No chocolate Santas for.

Yeah. That's two acres of. He throws out real Santas. Mall Santas that are down on their luck. Real Santas. God damn it. Yeah, I just know the whole thing of bringing I guess like Starfucker.

But I. Yeah, but he's also like like isn't he super hated now Who Elon Musk everyone hates him and their man Adam so why would you bring out that's what I'm saying Why do you make someone's gonna get booed at and the richest man at read the room everyone's pouring suffering now I don't know it's cause eight hundred dollars. Yeah, those tickets are like two hundred thirty eight dollars a pop Yeah, it's a genius move Because it's like you never know who he's gonna bring out you never know who it is so he always has this incredible like true is true

Jeffery Jeffery Epstein still I have him at this one show exclusively I think it's super super cool that he does that it's like his crew You know what I'm saying? I'm it's all over the place. That's what I'm saying. It's like you know, I must go everybody Nils law for it The next night you're at sacrament. Oh, he goes golf art golf I don't want him without Simon Hitler's grandson. Yeah, that's his closer now is bringing out random people It's right there. It is very smart. I think it's better than puppeteer from lamb chops

I've got the body of Jean-Beney Ramsay and we're gonna view it in the funny of each show if Elon Musk did the the Snoop Dogg speech from the thing. You don't like Elon Musk. You don't love Elon Musk. You all ain't got love for Elon Musk. Well, there's gotta be known. We know where we're at. Yeah, I mean San Francisco is where he lives, you know what I mean? Twitter is Twitter based. They're. Yeah. So I mean, well, they were in San Jose.

I think they were right down the chase center. So it was there at the same time. It's okay. That's the way they said they were in San Jose. Chris Rock and him like the night. We did the same. We can. Yeah.

It was, uh, they did better probably. That theater is big. Yeah. That's why you got to have a controversial figure come out at the end of your show. Now, he's like, everybody, Dylan from Gastigital. J here from Philly, you got strings. Pull Cosby out. You brought Cosby out at the end of the show right you think he's gonna do one more like death But before he dies like interview like he should where he lets this all out in some way who Cosby Cosby I though it's still still talking about Elon Musk I mean this guy put a pole out there on whether he should like who would do that like put a pole if you should get fired or not

Yeah, it's like that's so dumb I really must live in a bubble or something. You know, I must put it a pole saying should I be fired or not? Yeah, you stop running Twitter. He should have done it like if you have a Tesla or you're an astronaut you can vote on Like it's very small everybody. It's just people he knows very tiny, you know polling group If you've ever seen the planet from outside the planet. People love watching it, though. People love watching, there's that documentary on HBO Max now, the Branson.

I watch like two episodes of that. Oh yeah, is he a guy? He is, right? I mean, he seems good. He seems like, it's just his whole thing, just like watching a person go through their rich life is not that entertaining. Yeah, but that guy has that good look.

He has that look like he knows everything about lions. Am I right? Is that weird face? He does. That weird hair. Yeah. He's a lion. You can get to go that way.

I do all the stuff he does, like all the philanthropic work, or you can go as that's the other guy that looks like him, that Peter and I guard who just fucks children. That, that, uh, Richard Branson, his whole thing was like, I'm going to make my own hot air balloon and fly around. And that was like his rich dream. He is Willy Wonka dreams.

Yeah, yeah. Did you see the documentary into the deep about the guy whose dream was building a submarine and a rocket, and then he ended up just murdering a woman on his submarine? That's awesome. And that was his like rich dream of of torturing a woman under the water. I knew what you were talking about.

What's it called? Into the deep. But this guy was a documentary. He ended up killing this woman and then he was like, I don't know where she went. And then she went in a submarine with you and he goes, right? And then they're like, alright, you guys want to see the submarine? Yeah, I could take it down. Yeah. Yeah. Is anybody rich, not a complete lunatic?

Like that kind of like grotesque wealthy? They all seem to like fall in line but doing something bizarre. What about Tom Cruise? He seems like a good guy. He's doing stunts and stuff like that. Yeah, we'll always get in the TikTok going. Every time you get a voice memo from him,

he's on the side of a plane. Yeah, this guy knows no fear. Because it might be a little noisy up here. I'm robbing a bank robbery. I do wish you a happy one. Yeah, yeah. So I'm stopping terrorism. Yeah.

You're right back. Yeah, but he's still locked into the Scientology Center, which by the way, all those lumps they've taken, I said this earlier in the week, all the lumps Scientology has taken, still commercials on TV. I saw when I was on ESPN, a commercial for a Scientology network, TV network. They have a channel that...

Wow, they'll start you and stand up and we're all, we'll all sign up. You see that at the airport, sometimes the people set up their little flyer thing there, which is the, you know, like, eternal life thing, whatever that is, which is really, puts more stress on the flight But have you been running into a lot of I guess you can call them street characters at airports because I'm getting that now a lot

Yeah, you get people that have infiltrated the airport. Yeah, it seems like that's like the final You know, did you get caught when you were young in New York City? Like NYU days did you get caught in any New York? I mean from long Island so wasn't that far but just like in the scam of anything get caught in any New York? I mean, from long Island, so it wasn't that far, but just like in the scam of anything. The scam of any? New York, yeah, like just something of the bull, exactly, someone like mine. A street court, some of the game, yeah.

Like some saying, someone like them lowering you into, like you know, like, like a, like, dionetics center. No, no, no. Not a cold always, I'm just saying like, any of the things you buy tickets off the street that were bullshit and stuff like that. I did, they're like two months ago.

Definitely was some kind of like whatever spiritual thing. I remember that going around, but I don't remember. I remember that thing, est, that was like in the 70s, though. That was like when it was like a three day intense cycle analysis, you know, thing, and it's kind of like a cult. And it's no longer around, but that was the whole thing where the guy was like, get over it and screaming at you in the bathroom for three days or something like that.

So that was like the intense thing that we all kind of grew up with. But I remember specifically when growing up on Long Island, we always afraid of cults. Like that was like, you know, you don't want to, don't talk to that guy. He's going to get you in a cult. I remember we went for like one time for like, you know, what was it like, yoga or something like that?

Like some kind of like learning, some kind of thing like that. And like, is it a cult? We just wanted to know, is this a cult? We're so naive. We had no idea. So funny, yoga did become that big room guy. Yeah, it did start a cult. Ah, yoga.

Yeah, that's what everyone's looking at. See what we're making a cult. Yeah, cults are in. But But they did that was the fun thing though It seemed like in the 80s though the fun thing to do was to go to the woods and paint like a rock like you are in a cult Like you know, I mean like that's what I think it's Yeah, but you that was a kind of like a fun thing to do is like Ghost spray a bunch of upside down crosses and like pentagrams and goat heads on a rock. And then the news is going to come down there and be like, there's a cult in this part.

And it's just kids fucking dickin' around. We could use more of that now. Yeah, these kids are off the grid right now. Yeah, they're fighting McDonald's employees. They can go back to spray painting stuff in the woods. And you know, I'm headin' to Philly. I was gonna say that's the day because I think Caroline is gonna be fine. It's Philly and Mugubi's in Baltimore that I'm a little worried about.

But Philly, you know, every time I go there, it's one less wall wall. So I don't know what's going to happen. They're gone. They're just there this last weekend. They're all gone. So what are people doing? You got to go up to 16th Street. The walkable.

The Haney wall wall. Yeah, the walkable ones from club to hotel gone Totally shut down. So what is there is there seven levens now or no? No, there's still a wall I still exist they just for some reason like that area of There just shut the few of the two me down. There were right there. There were too many people ran They were always on world star hip-hop. Yeah, yeah, thing. They got Wawa back on the map of World Star. Yeah, they were just going in and fucking shit up and being on Star World.

You know what I say in which? That video was incredible. That was the one on Market Street by the hotel. This for helium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By this, this is a lair, is there a senesta? Yeah, I said that in Philly, like a Wawa is almost like a church. Like you tuned it with respect.

Should be. Yeah, they let the homeless people sleep on the steps. I tell you what though, when you do DC improv now, church like you teared it with respect. Should be. They let the homeless people sleep on the steps. What though when you do DC improv now though the hotel they put yet is rather front door across the tiny street. Yeah, giant wall walk. Exactly. Man, is that a great wall walk?

I was great. It was great. That was so good. Yeah, that's a good late night. You're like, all else fails. Couldn't care less. Yeah. You grab a little wall walk.

Everything's going to be just fine. I've been we've been on the road for so long and always the best amazing the only time I've ever seen people boo was in Pittsburgh when he mentioned while. Yeah. Yeah. Boo. She's and it was like an assault of like what's happening? They're wrong.

They're wrong. They're wrong. They're wrong. They're wrong. No, it's the other place, right? What is it called? She eats the one they love. Yeah, she's no disrespect. The sheets have sent us a bunch of stuff trying to get us all far on the sheets. And it was decent stuff. But while I was still going to win that fight, the best every single time. You're getting ready to do, you're getting ready to do this week, I used to do this week with Dave, several years in a row.

The week between Christmas and New Year's. And it was, man, so many stories that I still tell, I almost forget that it's like attached to that weekend. The Nate driving drunk and parking in the middle of the street and me being so drunk, I backed him up to them like good jar parking dude That happened there. I went home with a girl one night To her place and

Really cute chick. We ended up fucking but I first had to listen to all her talking about jaw While she did like hemp stuff and Like smoked weed job me a Jop me a lot. Showed me a lot of, no like the job. Oh no, that's what it was. Wasn't she talking about Jop? She was like a hippie as chick. And I went back to her place and she had a lot of like beads

and hurt me stuff like this. Yeah, and it was, it was a very cool experience because that's so not me. But before I fucked her, I definitely had to hear like, she goes, you wanna hear a song or a wrote? And it's like a tapping on it. Not even playing a acoustic guitar, it's like tapping on it. And I'm going to like, just speak to me, just speak to just a weird hippie girl song. And I was just like, I'm like, that's really, really good. Now you're

dating me though, Jeff. I'm sorry, Jay, you're thinking like, I didn't start there in the 70s. No, no, not at all. Listen to the Vietnam War. I'm sorry, I never heard you ever remember, Dave, when all those beat nicks were right. Yeah, I'm not dating you. I'm dating me in that deep into my 30s. I still require Dave to bring me out with them.

Those shows, it was Dave, Lenny Bruce. I was, mom's very lucky to have you guys on those shows. And will I say, I'm gonna say right now, that neighborhood has changed dramatically. Carewise? From when I first started doing them there to now, it's like the worst of all worlds now. You know, it's like.

It's like, you used to be scary now, it's just lame. It's scary, expensive, you know. I give them credit because the rent there must be crazy. And the fact that the, you know, the new. What do you think it's gonna be? don't know I mean they're turning into a crossfit I think it's I really I was thinking dispensary I was like New York yeah dispensaries you know and then I was thinking clean needle exchange bring back the booths yeah something's gonna happen there it's gonna be funny

when you walk with like you know five not even's gonna be funny when you walk, like, you know, five, not even two years from now, when you walk and you see what store that is. Yeah. And you go down the long stairs and you're like, oh, this used to be care lines. Like the way you look at the Boston Comedy Club and now it's a restaurant with like those lit upstairs. You're like, oh, it's crazy.

There's so much. Well, whatever it is, I'm gonna work there. Every time, this time of year, whether it's a staple, whatever it is, I'll going to work there every time this time of year, whether it's a staples, whether it's I'll be there. I'm doing my weekend. Well, how about the old improv, which is before all your guys? That was on 44th and on 9th and 10th, which is now that neighborhood is terrible. And now they have a, it's a Don Giovanni.

It's a Don Giovanni. It's crazy. Really? And they have a plaque against the original wall. No shit. Like this was the original. Where was a catcherizing star? I missed that one.

That was on the east side. I think it was in the 70s and A's. My friend Dave Jessica would know. But that was another one where it was like, you know, this is an amazing club. How can this ever go down and it went down? I know was that was one of the better ones. But I've seen the reverse where Jimmy's barbecue became the stand. Oh, yeah.

Oh, it was a brother. Yeah reverse where Jimmy's barbecue became the stand. Oh yeah. Oh no, it was a brother, brother Jimmy. Brother Jimmy is, I used to eat nice pork ribs right in the middle of the upstairs room. That's right. I don't, yeah, like of all the clubs, you know, you know, tip of the hat to the comic strip, you know, we're all like on deck for that one to go now, but it's not. It's not, it's definitely, it's like, it's like one of those like haunted pirate ships. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you see that? I see it too.

It's because Spanish Harlem, they can go in there and do whatever the fuck they want. Yeah. And no one will stop them at all. You know how like it is? That place was on stage free for all when I stopped working there. It was crazy. It's like a Disney world, you know, they count out every night to like New Year's Eve. Over there, it's constantly prom night. It's just every, it's like 12 kids from, you know,

some school, some, some, and they're fuck you to the comics. Oh yeah. There's no security there anymore. It was wild, but that place was where I first got here. That's the dating myself. That place was rolling when I came here. The current strip was like one of the places

for sure the weekends were the fucking best. Getting on late night there for that lottery was like one of the places for sure the weekends were the fucking best getting on late night there for that lottery was like a huge deal. I drove up from Delaware to wait in line to just get in the lottery to have a chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a card. Yeah, and it was I got it for like a year and a half. Yeah, oh, baby. It's-booking. Yeah, yeah. Some to look forward to. That lady, Starla, and then, uh, Lucian would come in and his was fingers were falling off and pointing to you. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was. It was a scleroderma. When you, that's a mother fuck. When you were starting in standard, was the strip like the place? Yeah, no, and the whole thing was you could either work this strip or the comic, uh, catrising star. That was working on catrising.. I was working at Catrising, but I wasn't able to really go on either one.

But it was the catrising star. I had passed there with the comic strip. He didn't pass me. Lucian didn't pass me. And then he always said that that was one of my his regrets, which is the, you know, that he didn't pass me. And I'm like, well, isn't the other one? Did you pissed off a gypsy and now part your body's falling off.

Like, then you insulted a unicorn. Now that you're basically falling apart. And one of us, you're like, I appreciate that thinner. Was there when you were a new or young comic? Is there any, but I always said, like Bobby Slatins, I could say his name because like we were fine. Me and Bobby, but like he was like my boogie man of like Young comic I met a person who I was like, oh wow do this guy I remember watching from when I was a kid on TV and he was just a fucking day a kid out of the game today

Anybody like this really right away? He was really and I always thought of him as he was really in show business He was like one of the first guys and I know Bobby He was one of the first guys who always like wore a suit. Yeah, the tan, you know, so it's like, well, this is a good looking guy. He's really in show business. And I don't know. I guess this a lot of people who you're like, well, I thought that would be a cooler hang than it was. Yeah.

But the majority of them, like I was thinking, um, you know, uh, I worked for the Caroline's comedy hour. Do you remember that show? You guys remember it, right? What's crazy is one of my only pictures of my father is him on a vacation without me With another lady and he's wearing in MTV half hour comedy hour Remember he had the Caroline's comedy hour thing too for some reason yeah, yeah, he had a bunch of random shirts out

That was the South Street C-port one though, right? I really don't I think it was at this one I think it was when they got the second or or whatever it was, was there, was at that one in Times Square and that's where the original host was Colin Quinn, who I'm gonna invite to come by. Oh yeah. And Richard Jenny, when you're longer is here with us, but he was the other host, so it's kinda,

it would be great if the hosts show up. Yeah, that would be awesome if you had Colin come by. You're gonna ask him, yeah. Yeah, that's great. But, you know, it's, I feel for Caroline and the staff, especially, I mean, a lot of them, you know, for years and years. And then the kitchen guys, man, there's like 50 guys.

Man, those guys stayed. Also guys that I've, You know, for 15 years or 20 years. 20 years. Yeah, so wild. It's funny, it doesn't matter how many people are out front, they're always at like full tilt. Like, things are moving, guys are pouring stuff. Like, they're always at like full tilt like things are moving guys are pouring stuff

They're pulling like a chain and like a whole like calf is coming down They're gonna like butcher it right there, but like out front is 25 feet I'm like, well where are you doing this? It's a sleepiest showroom inside like I'm in the weeds It's like it's like they're like bang bang bang pick up pick up. We got a pick up here It's a 20 person Wednesday and then the season finale of the bear and the kitchen Yeah, it's like the major D wants a sandwich get it out to the major D. Where is that? Where are the eggs Benedict ordered?

That guy was so good to me too. He'd be like you want any food. I go now I'm not I can't really have anything because I'll just make you something for home And it's like walking through time square with like three different types of pasta and like a gigantic steak You're like hey, what's up, buddy? I'm hungry. Yeah, well, you know Man, you really have watched that area go from being you know one of the worst Yes Cleaned up to then becoming the most corporate overpriced areas. Oh, God.

And have you seen that thing on Netflix, the Times Square killer thing? So that's funny, because it's not funny, but it's just like, the way they describe Times Square, this is like in the 70s, they're like, it was a place into itself, it had its own laws. You could go down in the alley.

You know, it's like people speaking a different language, there's different laws down there. You can do whatever you want there. That's why there were like a lot of people, a lot of characters would draw into this area. You know, it was like any kink, you could find it there. Now it's like you can't find anything there. You know, it's like all our casual people

are going to swing back at all in that regard. Because like, I'll say, for sure about, say like TV, even like Disney things, people things got to keep up with things now if you watch like the I said like a good examples like an SVU or something that's been on for like 20 some years I mean the language change Saturday live even the language barrier changed the not nudity so much at all but definitely violence like change letting a lot of it more in so I wonder if there is some kind of a swingback. But it'll probably be crime,

but they won't ever get like that. We're like, when I moved to New York, there was on several streets of Manhattan, and definitely when I first moved here to Queens, street walking prostitutes, I haven't seen that in a fucking 15, 20 years. It's online. Nobody would do that. Nobody would do that in fucking 15, 20 years. It's online. Nobody would do that job out there,

but the whole thing of the open-air drug thing that's still happening in certain places. But I think that it's dangerous and boring. It's like the worst of both. It's dangerous and boring. And you walk through that center time square thing. There's a lot of people who are like, once you do that, you kind of like give up the neighborhood,

like cause now it's like, you got people who are milling around, what do you can tell them not to do that? So, you know, it's the way they light it. Like can you imagine if they didn't light it like that, like what would be going on there? Oh my God. It would be like the warriors when all the gangs met.

Have you ever got a thing? Have you ever got, go ahead and mix that in your life? Anytime you're like, do you ever go down, Ian, you may have to watch the ball drop like in the next two people. Yeah, come into Caroline's.

I remember like we used to do the worst. No, but I mean like going like really into it where you're like shoulder-shoulder people pissing. People then they're all day, fights, boozing, and shit, I've never. They don't even let them leave there now. Like you go in and you're stuck there. So yeah, don't people bring things to go to the bathroom.

I like where do I go? Yeah, but where they just say where they just start pissing and shooting on the street. In sane behavior. If you go there, you should. I don't I want to I wouldn't mind being at like hanging with friends above it. Do you know what I mean? Like like I think Bennington said that one year. Yeah, Bennington said one year, the hard rock, like the roof, let them go on the roof of the hard rock and watch, and that was awesome. That would be awesome.

So Ian was talking about, like, you know, it's his birthday on New Year's Eve. He was thinking of bringing his mom up, which is very nice, because I'm gonna just put her in a hotel for New Year's Eve. I go, really, it's gotta be like, look online right now, it's probably like $3,000. He does for that. I go really it's got to be like look online right now it's probably like $3,000. He does for that. I didn't think of the time. I looked up

hotels JFK Airport 200 bucks a night. That's what you have around it. You have to stop right here. You've got our Jamaica Queen. You can watch. Mom, I mean now you can watch him deice a plane You have a news news that that 1035 from post is gonna be landed. You can watch him You can watch a drunk bag of Chandler drop a drop of police. What's funny? What's funny is is taking her like almost possible Philadelphia's time drive Away from the city Yeah, the other directions.

Like you're making your drive from Philly which might be quick, that could be an hour and a half. And it could be an hour and a half easy getting in from. Oh, easily. Yeah. She's not doing it.

She's not doing it. Yeah, smart. That's a smart woman. Like that would be so much trash. So much trash. That will be terrifying also. I know. I'm going to go back and see you

for a couple days on Christmas. So that's the day when the subways free, right? The subway is not the my birthday. Yeah, December 31st. Yeah, so that we're gonna see some incredible subways. Shit. That's gonna be like it's gonna be like all year long. Who's gonna be the first guy to go down in 2023? Yeah, there's gonna be world star hip-hop's gonna get the subway's crazy. It's gonna get you that so people don't drive. So, yeah, but world star it's gonna get overloaded. And they've got too many vice versa. And they're also gonna let out the jails,

like just like let them go, let them out. Let everybody out. It's the 31st time of the change. Then the guy's gonna go in and turn off the con-poward unit for the ghost busters. All hell's gonna break loose. Magic. Like it, it's like they're coming out of the jails and they're handing them like knives, hatchets, like as a go, go, go, go, go get it, go get time square back.

Take back what you did. She's just the ending of Joker. Yeah. But Jesus Christ. And I'm trying to think of like, you know, because I do remember show world, you know, I've been in there a couple times. We all know what that is. Buddy booth, peep shows.

Man, was there ones? Were there actual live sex shows like Amsterdam ever? People fucked. Mm-hmm. And why people? And I went, I don't want to say where it was, but we were at a deli on the east side and the waitress, who was like my waitress. She every time we go in there late and she'd come over and she was so good to what she goes.

Yeah, you know, I moved down south to what she goes. Yeah, you know I Move down south, but I used to like you know, we're talking. I'm like what'd you do? She goes, you know I used to perform at show world so she was like Yeah, oh me I used to have to be cream pie caffeine after she brought the food You want to warm up? You wash your hands? Yeah, after the food. She goes. I'll just take some coffee He's like this is a different kind of performance. You know, I'm talking about like, I'm putting things down. I'm not like on all fours and it's like, guys over me looking down on me or anything.

Did you come young under age to Times Square ever? No, too scary. I wish. I was probably like 18 or 19 or something like that. It was really terrifying. What was that? And it was really scary walking around. Well, it's one of those things where like, you're in there. It talked about like, you're in there and there's a man and a raincoat

You know it's about like it really was that sure no, I'm saying just time Who is a raincoat now? I did show my I said before it's amazing how like I wasn't afraid Very much that was even what kind of a thing about New York moving to New York It's like the urban environment didn't really scare me as much. Of course, walking through a bad particular neighborhood and scary, but it didn't look crazy to me. You had to tell me it was bad pretty much because you were like bad things happen here,

but it looks just like- When did you move here? Who did you when I was 23? Where you? Just wait. It's scary. 2001. Yeah.

2001, so this didn't seem scary. The woods is always what I have to overcome like all right a scary thing of like being like Very dark in black rooms. That's their I think it'll grow up in a city. It's what was I never had like quiet at night. It was always Remember that one time we would drive into a gig and it was like through like that kind of like a salamwitch We would drive into a gig and it was like through like that kind of like a Salam witch country Remember it was like we're like it is no lights would you lost and there's that church? Yeah, it's like that the weather beaten church like let's go in there Walter that's what your piss always caught now. We pes the the evil tree farm

Just like one part where the trees don't have leaves and they're all just like crooked in his thousands of them in a row Yeah, it was a. There's way scarier towns like, you know, like the New York, it's just all like some of these towns like East St. Louis and like that. Yeah, it's like, it's pretty much even perkipsy. Yeah, exactly. You look the perkipsy. Right. I guess all right.

We were Niagara Falls and honestly, there's like a weirdness to that town as well. Where it's like, you get off the two blocks where they have like the falls, you know, and it's basically just houses all boarded up and weird stuff like you're driving around and people don't know your car and they're like storming and they're like, come and comfort them. To get on the windshield, I don't know.

That's not James. It's all in there. Detroit's pretty wild. Detroit's pretty wild when I drove through there. Tojo Bobby Kelly would not even want to turn the streets. And I'm like, we're in a car, Bobby. It's fine. Like, but I do want to see. And it was like people living in a dilapidated house that is between two houses that are half burnt like off. But it's not as bad. Like it's not like

there's a guy cooking in a bedroom on a open fire. Like, hey, you got any hot dog rolls? Yeah, once you hit the robot cop level of poverty It's different with like people just living in those kind of houses. Then you're like that's fucking we need a machine cop I tried to get my friends to take me to skid row in LA It's like I just want to see it and they're like no you will if you don't If you stop your car, you can have neither on your own Yeah, yeah, like you will get people will throw If you stop your car You can have an e-mail on your own door to get it. Yeah Like you will get people will throw their bodies on your car because it's a zombie land I did a comedy festival in downtown LA called like the riot fest or something and it was by the hotel was by skid row

Mm-hmm, and I was just walking around just before we was legal there like trying to smoke a joint and I turned the corner and it was like Oh, shit Where the girl fucking fucking thought goes and climbed to a thousand Hollywood. This was downtown. No, it was downtown. Oh, it's all thing hotel. Sessley, it was downtown. They changed the name of it. But it was no, that's all thing because they said Skid Row broke out in tuberculosis and they thought it was because she was a human weapon.

Turns out she was just off meds and climbed into a tank. That was the most disciplined documentary ever. Yeah. All that build up to like the science of it and all the stuff that goes, she was just on her off her meds climb the tank. And then when it went out to like poor guy that was like a satanic guitarist, I just like death metal and I live in Brazil. And everyone was like, he did it. He's like, he had to like, change his makeup pattern. Or something. Like, he can be the same guy. He in finance, David Tell rocking out all next week. Make sure you check it out.

This is a historic week. I mean, days being. The ball aside, God. Yeah, last chopper out, dude. I'm going. Last chopper out to December 28th. December 28th through December 30th. Go to davatel.com to get tickets.

And gone. I'm so excited. You're going to try to DavidTel.com to get tickets and go. It's so excited. You're going to try to get in time. Oh my God. Guys, go on for a little bit. Get a last taste. Last licks. Yeah.

Maybe I'll get that pretty average, okay, chicken palm. That Caesar salad that feels fat. Caesar salad, mostly dress. And then make sure you check out Ian Finance on being eating, being Ian with Jordan Podcasts and he's coming to Denver. You can catch him at the comedy works January 11th through 12th. Big J is gonna be in San Diego, 29th through the 31st

and then a live Legion of Skanks January 1st at the comedy store. Vote for SDR for the porn awards. Vote for SDR for the porn awards, bigjacombie.com for all that stuff dan sota is going to be in Sacramento February 2nd through the 4th after that van kuver salt lake city in Toronto all on deck for tickets and all tour dates of course go to dan sota dot com uh... will be right back to say bye we're gonna okay awesome will be back to say

bye and uh... thank you guys so much and thank you Dave hey guys thanks for listening to the podcast. And always remember, you can go to seriousexam.com slash bonfire for a special offer to hear us on the actual radio as well.