The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Daydreams with Greg Warren

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Comic Greg Warren joins the hang as Jay and Bobby argue about ghetto pizza and the best time-travel superpower to have. Also a friend of Nate Bargatze, Bob encourages Greg to ask him for a house. Greg tells the guys what an accomplished and talented magician Nate's father is. Bob once battle rapped his way out of a fight and displays his skills for Greg. Greg Warren will premiere his new special "The Champ" on the Nateland Entertainment YouTube Channel Friday, May 16th at 9am CST. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Greg Warren's new special the champ premieres this Friday May 16th on the Nate land YouTube channel You can also hear Greg Warren's regularly on pure comedy and Jeff and Larry's comedy roundup on Sirius XM Everybody I think you've already guessed it. It's the hilarious Greg Warren joining us. Hey guys. What's up, buddy? Good to see you. Did you take the Nate copter here? I trust everyone under the Nate land umbrella takes the Nate Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool. Does everybody get their own Nate copter? I'm not at that level yet There's some of the guys that do you get your own Nate copter you gotta work your way up a little bit

I think the crew of friends myself included we should all get to pick a ride at this goddamn amusement park And we should all be something out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you announced it in Esquire. He's going for it. He's gonna be a fucking mogul and I think I should be able to pick maybe like a Like a splash mountain. So you were there at the beginning man. I like a big a big ride I would think I just I just want it like a hot dog named after me like the bob dog. Oh the bob dog I think that's buddy. I think that's a phone call away from happen yeah yeah no but I would like in the next time I see him if you want I appreciate that that would be nice dude yeah like I should run like

Hades like where it's like the one place in the park if you have to curse yeah big jail Christmas cursing then yeah yeah yeah away from your family for one second and be like these fucking kids what! Are the lines too long for you here? What if that's the thing that blows the whole deal for Nate? We heard him talking about this, and Nate's like, no, we won't have, he's like, no, it's too late. He goes, well, one, we thought it was a fantastic idea,

but two, we can't get behind the idea now. A cursing room, there's gotta be somewhere to cut loose. I mean, I assume that's who people who take to smash rooms are either hostile psychopaths or religious people. What's a smash room? You never heard of a smash room before? You go to a room and you get to just break things.

Oh really? They make these now, the Philadelphia arenas have them in there. It's called the Philadelphia arena. It's called any arena in Philadelphia where anybody plays anything. Yeah, but it's called the concourse, I believe. Yeah, these things, they really exist.

You could pay and go and wear safety equipment, which by the way, takes away a lot of the cool of it. I was thinking the same thing. I was like, man, some of the immediacy of it is lost. It's not organic. It's like when they had those, the urinals and they had a chalkboard in the urinal where you could do your own graffiti or whatever. It's, you know.

Not counterculture. Well, part of smashing something, of raging something, is you might get cut or bleed, and something might go into your eye, and that's how you learn the lesson. You're losing the dramatics of it, like you said, exactly. I punch like a TV, I smash a TV, that maybe is expensive, and I didn't even know when I punched it,

for sure I was gonna bust it, but I made the decision too late and I went for it and I bust the TV. But then you at least, as in the immediacy of that is like you're showing, then Christine gets to see, like I wanna do that to your fucking face, but I don't do that. Especially if you got a lot of chicks.

A piece of the TV stuck and you're not gonna buy that you're mad if you go to some room and book a thing five hours in advance. She's not gonna think you're mad. She's not gonna buy that you're mad if you go to some room and book a thing five hours in advance. She's not gonna think you're mad. She's not gonna think she did wrong. How is she gonna see, unless there's blood coming down my arm and I go, you happy now?

Is this what you fucking need to get through your day? Unless, Jay, if they had a room where you could smash your chick. Oh, that's true. A chick smash room? Or how about a couple smash room? You both get helmets, you both get some type of weapon and you can go in there and beat the shit out of each other.

I absolutely would get over anything I had to get out on Christine with a hilarious, like, if I could just do the action moves, on trampoline would be fine. But if I could stone cold stun her ass and fucking, like, like a sweet chin music with maybe a super padded like thing they put on your feet like those big like the bumper fist they give you. It's like inflatable big things. The guys are like sumo wrestlers. They get in the suits or whatever.

Sort of like that but with punches and kicks that really can't hurt you. Just maybe send you back a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'd love to know. You could do that though. Yeah, what would you call it? Just a no risk fist fight your long time girlfriend. If you could have like a superhero power where you could just go back, you could control time. Well how do you mean?

Is that, am I dealing with a doctor strange, like I have to control all time, or a superman, I have the ability to roll it back five minutes. You have a thing where you can turn and go back in time, right? So you could get into a fight with Christine, beat the shit out of her, and then go vvvvvv just want to feel the feeling of doing it, but not hurt her. This might surprise a lot of people to hear from me,

because usually people don't think I'm a hyper-emotional feeling guy, but my concern there would be, Bobby, if we're operating on the possibility of a multiverse theory, there is still a timeline where that Christine lives life being beaten the shit out of by me. You know what I mean? That continues on somewhere. I watched enough of that Westworld to think, like,

on some level, she's gonna know that you did it. Yeah. You know, like, she's gonna know, and she's gonna be hurt by it. Or we start messing up with timeline, exactly. And she starts having dreams of the other girl's actual reality. I mean, how deep you want to get? You to get how about some dorks listen right now like these guys are so stupid that is not how that is not how the continuum works

this is these guys are idiots have they not seen maybe you're worried about you go you beat the crap out of her I give Christine exactly what she deserves a fucking flush fist 80% power full cocked beaten. Yeah, you go back to where before so you got you felt it. You feel good You're done. You know, it's what to happen. You don't need to do it. No guilt whatsoever Feel good you did what you said you were gonna come to but then but you're worried about that Christine in the in the future now that you just left is gonna have to feel that and go on with life. That's what you're worried about. I leave on a different timeline.

She has to move on with that. Well, what if you get, yeah, but you control time. Go back a couple hours later and go, baby, I'm sorry. I'm just always worried about you guys. And I worry more than, I just wanna tell the listener, she's here and she's laughing. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean, she can't just cry all the time. You know what I mean? I know that I just ruined the whole bit. But I'm worried about you guys. Yeah, well, you are around Nate a lot, I guess. This is too edgy for you. It's beating the shit out of you girl in a different timeline. It is.

I mean, yeah, it's terrifying. You don't have to worry. I told you I'm not gonna beat her even if I could change her mind. Even if he had it, he felt bad. Because I mean. It's actually really romantic, Greg. Yeah, well, it's actually extremely romantic.

It was sweet. This is why I'm not with somebody. I guess by the way, I'm coming back to a Christine that doesn't even know that you she was beaten the shit of beating the shit off, but I'll know that the other one I go Oh, I'll never get to really apologize to that one and say like or take it back in her life Yeah, but she's gonna go on to a better life

Now let's make another change. Yeah, Me and Christine both have the power of time travel. That would be fun because then nonstop we can do things like once in a while she could shoot me in the face, I could beat the living shit out of her. We can go all crazy with it, nighttime stabbings, and then we both, but then we just go back, no we know we're doing it. And we laugh about it in the morning,

we go, oh my God, do we even know? We'll never even know how many times we've redone this because we killed each other eight times last night. What if she, yeah, go ahead. What if we accidentally murder suicide and then we can't go back? Oh boy. You gotta strike a deal, that would be a great movie,

by the way. That would be a great movie. Yeah, there's always a glitch in these programs, that this ability for both of you to go back, there's always like somebody forgot some piece of code and somebody's gonna remember or somebody's gonna get in trouble. Yeah, I know.

I kill you, but I forget for a second that it's a thing and I think I actually did it and the only way out is to come back. Why did Terminator Futurally made one time machine that exploded upon use? But it's weird about that, right? They never did anything right in those time travel things. It was a gone, right? Once he went back, he couldn't come back to Terminator, Kyle Reese, right? One never did anything right in those time travel things. It was a gone, right?

Once he went back, he couldn't come back to Terminator, Kyle Reese, right? One way, because the technology's in the future. One way. Ridiculous. The technology's there, but he couldn't bring that technology there, you know what I mean? To send himself back.

It's a more deal. How about this? The superhero power is not time. Christine doesn't feel anything. Nothing can hurt her. Oh, I'll take no pleasure in her just sitting there laughing at my punches, dude. That's not fun.

You know what, I didn't do that. Her sitting there smiling, laughing at me while she's eating a fucking giant sandwich while I'm punching her. That's emasculating, isn't it? Yeah. That's the best that you have? That would be terrible. Yeah, you know what, I didn't do that. have. That would be terrible. That's terrible.

Yeah, you know what, I didn't think that through. That's like Alabama Rorley saying hi. Yeah, have you ever hit anybody with an axe? You coward. How about, like a Wolverine life. I fixed it, yes, Wolverine, you can punch her, stab her, all that stuff, but she heals herself immediately. Full pain, though.

Feels the pain, and ah, she literally goes, my God, screams,, but if it grows back How fast it healed up because I'd like to give her I'd like to give her a full-on Like a full-on be like I need it. I don't want to like punch her in the eye, right? And then she gets a she gets a cut over the eye and heals and then that just heals like I want to see a Wealth of damage and then she sits there and she goes like no big deal and just kind of like more Okay, I got it. I got it, you control her healing. That's your power.

You're the one, you can control people's healing. So you can, look at you can. Then she's constantly in need of me. Buddy, here's the thing, you can hit somebody in traffic in New York if they get in your way, run them over. Kill them and then all of a sudden you can turn back, you can heal them and they just get up and be like what the fuck?

I'd spend too much of my time doing that. I don't wanna keep killing and healing constantly. Work gets out where like one of those, there's always like some 12 year old that has the power of healing that everybody lines up at the farm. No doubt. I feel like yeah, the war's gonna get out man.

Build out? This show's gonna go dead cause people are just gonna be, yeah it's all you're gonna get is people. How about the guy who did that, did you ever see that documentary, An Honest Lawyer, about Ricky Jay? Was that the name of the famous magician?

Ricky Jay? And he used to do a lot of those things, like fake, you know, try to fool people with, he would always try to expose the televangelist and stuff, too, he'd always get them, but one of his big things was like putting out there He's got a healer kid like a kid who can go out there. It's you know. He's Jesus reincarnated and then the People lined up and gave him all this love and then it turned out He just ended up having a gay relationship with that kid for the rest of his life

They were like together until he died. Yeah The kid that he put out there is the spiritual healer kid, just became his boyfriend forever. Maybe he sucked his powers away through his penis. Real nice dude. Yeah. So I don't know, I'm just trying to fix the whole punching thing.

Real nice dude. Fix the whole punching thing? No. No, Christine's fine, she's not gonna get punched because none of us has powers. This is what the fun of daydreaming is, Bob. What would, Christine, what would the power would you want? Invisibility.

That's not Ricky Jay. Yeah, it is. Ricky Jay isn't Boogie Nights. That's not him. Oh, well, then that's not Ricky Jay. I thought he meant Ricky Jay the Magician. What's his name, Christine? The Amazing Randy?

I think so, yeah. Totally different guy. Yeah. So Ricky Jay somewhere would be like, I did not have a, Ricky Jason would be like Ricky Jay passed away he did not do any of this What's his goddamn name Randy James ready amazing Randy yeah the amazing Randy is what he went by But yeah, and then he ended up being with I don't know if it was the kid was underage maybe together anything I'm not even because I mean the documentary was pretty out there.

I wouldn't remember if it was him confessing to pedophilia. What was his name, Biffy Jackson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stumpy Rodriguez. Wait, is that the guy he was having sex with, the old guy? Is that the couple? No, the old guy's the magician. The couple right there.

That's the magician and this is the guy who put him out there. That's the kid that could heal people. That's the kid he said could heal people, yeah, when he was young. Yeah, and they did like an indie or something. He did a couple. What is the other one he did that pretty interesting?

Like, he went to Princeton or somewhere, some Ivy League school, and he had guys that he was, he had people fooled, like people were doing, like, you know, opening things with their minds and shit. He would do a lot of fucking fun shit like that. The Randy guy did? Yeah. And he calls himself an honest liar

because all through breaking through all, his big thing was he never liked when people would use magic for financial gain and trickery. He's like, it should always be, this is an illusion, this is not real, you know, and he would break into the best one is he breaks into the, what do you call, frequency of the earpiece that the televangelist used. The televangelist is such an obvious thing. I mean I watched a

psychic do it that our friend Michelle was working with. They collect information from me, very basic information, but if a stranger in a fucking arena calls out this information to you, you're not thinking that I filled out a card and he's not looking at a card. He's walking around going I got a thing and they're in their earpiece going like, Eleanor Thompson, like, Eleanor Thompson. And then they lose their mind, goes, 225 Westlake Avenue.

And then they go crazy and they're just selling it all in their ear. He tapped into one of their frequencies and just like exposed that they were doing it. Yeah, it's pretty great. I like that. They're not around as much anymore, right? Those guys like.

Yeah, they fucked up a little bit. Yeah. They had a little trouble, man, right? Those guys like. Yeah, they fucked up a little bit. Oh. Yeah, they had a little trouble, man. All of them seem to, yeah. I used to watch them all the time. I used to watch Benny, it wasn't him. He had the Colmore. Benny Hinn.

Yeah, he had the rags, the little, there was another guy, older guy, kind of like a white dude, but he had, you could buy prayer cloths. Cloths. Yeah. I remember the Magic Water. I used to watch them all. I remember Benny Hinn. At night all the time when I was on the road, late. Cloths. Yeah. Remember the Magic Water? I used to watch them at night all the time

when I was on the road, late night on TV. These guys were the only people on. Yeah. And they were fucking fascinating. Uri Geller. Uri Geller used to bend the spoons. Yeah. He got called out on The Tonight Show.

Oh yeah, well he would go, that amazing Randy guy was great when he would do it because he showed people that could like, you know they could like turn pages of like a yellow pages or something with with their like hands like, you know in the air like their mind basically and he goes Whatever it was, he always just kind of goes like or move a pencil or something with their hand can move a pencil And he goes turn your head away When you do it and then it's just like oh he does it because the way they blow like a

Small way they blow out of the side of their mouth and their hand. So it's all like a trick. But notice, till he cut the one part of the trick out, he goes, that's fantastic. Turn your head the other way and make the pencil move with your mind. He's like, well I gotta look at it.

I can make the paper move with my mind. Sure. Ready? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was in the microphone. I saw it move, I saw it move. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was in the microphone. I saw it move.

I saw it move. No. No, I saw it move. Shut up. I saw it move, Jay. I see it. I see it. I see it.

It has nothing to do with the asthmatic guy. I'm sorry, sorry. Whoa. No, it moved. It moved. But I love watching people, exposing magic tricks is pretty hilarious. Also, because it makes people

who are falling for it feel stupid as shit. I am weirdly a sucker for magic. I love magic. Oh, I love it, man. Do you? Yeah, I mean, I didn't think I did. Nate's dad is like, Nate's dad is, the first time I met him, he just, like, we were backstage somewhere, he was just like, hey, you want to see some, and I was like, Nate's dad is, the first time I met him, he just like,

we were backstage somewhere, he was just like, hey, you wanna see some, and I was like, he's unbelievably good. He's also like, real funny, and you're like, oh, okay, I'm starting to see where Nate, like he's a freak, like he's real talented. I'm like, yeah, he's still doing it. Oh yeah.

He opens for Nate sometimes. Has Nate's success made him more successful? I think maybe he can sell some tickets in some places that he didn't before, but he was like in this field, he was like more champion magician. He's one of the best. Yeah, yeah.

One of the best sleight of hand guys in the world. But it's still hard to get gigs in that field. I think to sell a bunch of tickets. I mean, you can get gigs at places where the Magic Castle sells the tickets, but to be like, hey, we're all coming to see Steven Bergazzi, I think obviously now he can. Is that his name?

Yeah. He doesn't have a magician name? No. Steven, Nate's dad. Steven Nate's dad, Bergazzi. Is that his dad? That's a young, yeah, yeah, that's definitely him. Yeah, that's him younger.

Wow. He's a lot younger there. yeah, that's definitely him. Yeah, that's him younger. Wow. Yeah, he's a lot younger there. But his sleight of hand stuff's great. Theo Vaughn, when we were there for Mike Vecchione's taping in Nashville, Theo Vaughn was in the bus and Nate's dad, it's great, he's got a lateral lisp, which is a layer too, so he's like,

he goes through the whole thing and he goes, now, can I change your shirt pocket for your car? And just Theo going like going like no come on man It's ain't my pocket now is it? He's like I know you didn't touch my pocket And he gets his no no, he didn't look at the car. He just pulled it The fact there was a card in his pocket is like oh man no and he ran off the bus I mean if I don't know why we did it either I was standing right there, too

He didn't touch the oh, he didn't touch the oh,'s real unassuming and he's funny, he's legitimately funny. So you're just like, oh this is, alright, let me, you know. Let me humor this guy while I do this little magic trick. Let me let Nate's dad do his thing and you're like, oh this guy's like, he's better than anybody. Like he's extremely, and then I asked around, you know, and he's like, no, oh no, that guy like won championships and stuff. Wow.

Yeah. Did you see Baby Theo? Talking to Baby, bro. Yeah, no, no, that guy won championships and stuff. Yeah. Did you see Baby Theo talking to Baby Rope? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't stop watching it. Those things are very funny. It's really funny. Someone's gotta do with me and you. Oh my God, Baby J and Baby B?

Unfortunately, we have to pay for our own video. So, here's what it is. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? That is pretty wild though, to have a dad that's successful in that field and then him to be as, do you think his dad has any like, fuck. Jealousy?

Yeah, like not jealousy but like, wow, I wish, or is he just like, No, I don't think so. Flipping out like, god damn it, this is amazing. I think he thinks it's amazing. The times when I've seen him like, go on stage with him or he'll bring him on stage or something, he gets emotional.

Does he, did Nate, because if my dad, I'd give my dad a bunch of shit, right? Did Nate give him anything? Well, yeah, I'm sure he's taking care of everybody. Oh yeah, I'm sure he's. I'm just saying. Nate's taking care of everybody. Yeah, yeah.

He get you a house? No, but he could probably just redo Nashville if he wanted to. Yeah, me in fact, you don't got to go to Europe with him. Yeah? Yeah, it was a paid European vacation. Yeah, and no one's got to sleep with him or anything. Did he give you a house?

No, I haven't gotten a house yet. I'm gonna see, I'm gonna try to get a house. Is it true though? You're ruining it. Like, I had a plan for that, but. I'm sorry. I'm gonna stay out of it, dude. Yeah, the thing is, I've told you so many times about it,

you gotta slow play these things. You jumped the gun on everything. You know that that's what I do and I mess up and I apologize and you said you were gonna fucking help me out next time I do it. I know man but you. Yeah but you're calling me out now. I'm not, yeah I'm undercutting you a bit but.

I apologize. You ruined a plan I've been working on for like five years. I will shut my mouth, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm not gonna get a house. I'll tell you this. But you know I'm trying to help you right? You know where I'm coming from. I know where you're trying but sometimes you don't want guys help. Okay, you're right I apologize when you get pulled over and

Your buddy who's drunk starts mouthing off to the cop you said that before yeah We're gonna cut this out of the show is there a truth we're live This can't be cut I apologize for the idea that Julian McCullough has to sit there while Nate masturbates on him in hotel rooms now I did hear this somewhere. You're never gonna get a house if you answer that that needs gonna never get the I'm just being your friend You don't answer that let it off Nate has you talk to reading on his openers This is what this is why I do appreciate this and you sit through this and let him talk This is why I appreciate well Here's the thing because like you do come there's a darkness in there. I got you man

I know there's a darkness behind that bar gets just looke. Just look into his eyes, go through it, and we'll move on. We're gonna go back to baby fear. I know Nate. Nate's darkness has a first name, Laura Bargatzee. Hell yeah dude. Can I say something about his wife? She is fucking cool.

Oh yeah man. Laura dude. Way cool. Maybe one of my top five best friends. I mean she is way better hang than Nate. She's such a better hang than Nate. Yeah. Don't say anything.

Oh. She has no house power. Dude, she's got such a wonderfully great sordid history that I love that's just so not like the person she is today. But she's not like somebody's wife. Usually somebody's wife is a little more reserved, or I don't know, whatever that thing is,

I don't know what it is, but she was just like, hey, what's up? Like hanging out. Yeah, well well, she knows she gives going her wallet and change your life Hey Bobby heard Max wants a New car I got it. Laura was texting me and Christine last night about a concert thing I was like, you know more friends with a guy. No, but I go I go fly up I go this would take the Natecopter up for corn and what you been calling? She's like, I might.

I go, you're Laura fucking Barghetti. You go where you want, when you want. Girl. Girl, yeah, girl. Cause she likes all the same music as you do, right? Yeah, yeah, we like a bunch of the same music. But we were just, no, me and Laura's story is great because we were housewives together.

She came, when she moved to New York, she didn't know anybody. And Nate immediately had a job doing, he got picked up for the Video Game Awards writing. And they lived right up the street from me. And so I was home during the day always and Nate all of a sudden wasn't. And she was just a wrestle.

We already met and everything at that point. Nate's one of my close friends. So we were just hanging out. We just, I mean, I had to sit with her at the emergency room for hours once. She fist fought my ex-landlords with me before. It was wild. She raised her daughter.

She helped raise Isabella. Yeah, they were just such a part of our lives. So me and her have a good, a fun history. So I love it. So not even just for Nate, her too, watching that success and that rise has been so fun. And also that, you know, watching that success and that rise has been so fun and also that, and particularly Laura, she's still her.

Nothing about her, their lifestyle has changed, but there is nothing different. Nate's different just by, he could not be different. Nate can't wear Vanderbilt shirts anymore. Now he comes nautical. When he's in a nautical place, he wears nautical clothing. It's lovely, I love seeing it. Nate's living his best life.

Naked. Naked. Golf clothes. How did he become good looking? Beard and age. He became fucking, he's a good looking guy. Look how comfortable he is in these designer clothes. I know, man. It makes me so happy.

I'm like, he doesn't look awkward in them at all. He's just totally owing it. Is that him now or is that? Yeah, this is for his book. Look at this. It's like writing outfit. He's such a good looking. He is dressed like an SS leader here. I said he looks fantastic. Is he a GoBoss original? I mean I'm pretty sure this is how you dressed when you were executing Jews. Christine do me a favor make that a black and white dressed when you were executing Jews. Christine, do me a favor, make that a black and white.

And then play that Kanye song behind it. They don't understand the things I say on Twitter. Titans, look at that. Yeah, now he's from Nashville, right? Originally? He's from old Hickory. Old Hickory. Wow.

But right there. But yeah. Is he gonna have his own bar downtown? Bar? Yeah. I don't think he would have a bar. Old Hickory. My old Hickory. Wow. But right there. But yeah. Is he gonna have his own bar downtown? Bar? Yeah. I don't think he would have a bar. That's mean.

He's the mayor of Nashville. He's the mayor. A bar? Yeah. He's gonna have an amusement park, man. He's gonna have an amusement park. Oh yeah, I forgot about my hot dogs. Bob dogs.

Yeah, mainland, dude. I want Bob dogs and Bob's root beer. All right, now you're, come on. There's a lot of friends. You gotta, buddy, it's one stand. It's one stand. You's one stand you get the Bob Just root beer Bob dog and Bob beer root beer But it's only but it's only root beer root beer. That's it. No Bob dog or Bob beer root beer and waters

Hot dog me what Bob dog doesn't sound delicious Bob dog it doesn't Bobby dog Bobby dog Bobby dog with an? Bob dog doesn't sound delicious. Bob dog. It doesn't. Bobby dog. Bobby dog with an IE. Bobby dog. A hot bob. No that's sexy. That's too sexy for Nate. What are you doing Christine? She wants a hot bob. Leave her alone. Give me a hot bob. That's gotta be, yeah that's one of those. That's like a 30 Sanchez. I'll give you a hot bob around June, August August a hot bob still involves a hot dog though Small hot dog. It's more like a gherkin It's a cocktail sauce little weenie. Hey, here's the deal I get my Bobby dog with the Bob the Bob beer, which is root beer Cuz I don't drink and that's my under one hut and it looks like It looks like a barrel. Yeah. A barrel. Very Nashville-y, right?

Yeah. What are you gonna have? Man, I haven't really thought about it. Let's think it, man. Just the barrel though, man. I feel like somebody got there before you did on it. Like a barrel and root beer and like somebody, this is. Ooh.

I wanna do a Big J's haunted house and it's just gonna be ethnics inside. Jesus. Just asking for stuff, just confusing all of Nate's fans. Yo man, you got a dollar. I don't want any trouble. Is the statue in Times Square? Times Square, have you seen the Times Square

black woman statue? No. Oh, treat yourself. Really? Get down there and take pictures with it. Oh yeah, it's down in Times Square, have you seen the Times Square black woman statue? No. Oh, treat yourself. Really? Get down there and take pictures with it. Yeah, it's down at Times Square, it's very nice. I'm staying close. They have a-

Well you can go to any Starbucks and take a picture with the person who's giving you your coffee. They have the same face. Yeah, you know that person who's pretty pissed off that you came in there to get your coffee? Yeah, I met that person today. But you have to say this, it's too much cream. And then whatever that face is, take a picture next to that.

Actually, it's the face when you hand it back and not can you, it's more of the instruction of put more cream in that, please. If you gave one of those things, this is the statue. Whoever's doing that has way more courage than I do at a Starbucks. Are you kidding me? Some people don't give a fuck. Some people are like, can you do this? Hey man, put this.

Like do this. My name is Robert Splash of Cream Kelly. Really? Because it says on the thing Splash of Cream, and they always put too much cream, so I changed it to Splash of Cream Kelly. Robert or Robert Kelly. So now when they still put too much cream in,

I go, my name is Splash of Cream. I wanted a splash. And they were like, I thought that was unrelated. But then I go like this. I go. What? What? What?

I didn't know your nickname was your order. And I go like this, I go. Splash of Cream, I feel like you're good at three pointers or something. That's a swoosh of cream. Splash of cream. You're good at three pointers or something. That's a swoosh of cream. Splash of cream. Splash. And then I go, and then I go, is this a splash of cream?

And I make them answer it. You don't do that. I do. I go, is this- You really do that. Yes, because I- In New York City? I do that.

That's crazy. I've done it. You have to meet- Repeat after me, dum dum. No, see, I'm learning this in the suburbs. First of all, I don't like when you do me. I've done it. You have to meet suburbs. Repeat after me. Dumb dumb. No, see, I'm learning the suburbs. First of all, I don't like when you do me. Dumb dumb. Yeah, don't do that because I sound dumb dumb. Repeat after me. Dumb dumb. I said I don't like it.

I'll tell you what. You keep doing it. I won't do it again. I got to try it one more time. Dumb dumb. Do it again. Dumb dumb. You know, I like it now. Yeah, it's full circle.

You try it. Go ahead. Dumb dumb. That is good. God damn, that was good. The tone was almost matched. The tone, didn't full circle. You try it. Go ahead. Dum dum. That is good. God damn, that was good. The tone was almost matched. Jacob, try it. Dum dum. There you go. You just did a Jacob voice. Christine rocket. Give more Bobby to it. Christine rocket. Dum dum. A little deeper. How are you the two actors? Didn't even make a choice with the ... You didn't even make a choice. I panicked. Panicked, panicked.

Jacob sounded like the, his sounded like the transition in The Law and Order. Dum dum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little too quick. Dum dum. Dum dum. Dum dum.

Food before food dude, dum dum. Food before food dude. Now you get a little fucking good, okay? Why don't you settle down with your Meisner technique, bitch. Food before food dude was my ultimate Bobby impression. Food before food? Yeah.

Christine, tell me, you guys, anytime you ordered appetizers. You go, food before food dude. For like years of our relationship. Really? Yeah. Bobby's old joke. Appetizers?

Are you kidding? Food before food dude. That's great. Yeah, that was a good, yeah. That was early, early Bobby Kennedy. That was early, that was. That's great. That was early Bobby Kelly thing. That was early. That was great. I mean college girls just, you'd see their nipples tighten up in their sweaters.

They loved young Bob. He used to open for me when I did colleges. Nate opened for me too one time. Yeah. Yeah, how times have changed. Nate opened for me. That guy's open at a fucking amusement park. Nate opened for me several times.

I remember a piece of his car fell off on the way to the gig. Times have changed. And Nate opened his door once. That guy's open at a fucking amusement park. Nate opened for me several times. I remember a piece of his car fell off on the way to the gig. Oh yeah. And he's like, I'm sorry, I gotta pull over and check under my car. And he checked and he just ripped a piece of his car up and threw it in his trunk and goes,

we're good to go. And I was like, all right, listen, dude. I remember that car, he had that big clunker and then the biggest, the big switch in his life, when Laura came up, what she brought with her, a Honda Accord. A white Honda Accord that was game changing. That's the one that had something fall off of it.

The Accord? I don't believe it. I swear to God, we're on our way to Accord. No, he had a clunker before that. We were on our way, it was the white Honda, I asked him, we were on our way to dual college in Connecticut and we were stopping at Frank Pepe's because he's never had it.

I was like, dude, we're stopping at Frank Pepe's. And on the way- Underwhelming, underwhelming. Really? I never had it. It's fantastic. It's, don't listen, listen. He's a poo-pooer. Do you know what that means?

Yeah. Do you know what a poo-pooer is? It's the quality of the alien species. Bobby, I mean, contextually, I can guess. Yeah. Hang on one second. Do me a favor. Contextually.

You think you were getting too high brow for him? I mean, I don't know exactly, but I think I know. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. If you got that skill, try. What is it? What is it, Pupur? It's somebody who's going to say negative things about stuff that's important to you. You do know. Yeah, I do, man.

I had some intuition. Listen, you fuckf Yeah, I do, man. Did you think he was good again? I have some intuition. Listen, you fuck faces, I was in on it. Can you stop getting real on me? I was joking. Well, but now you're not. Now I'm not because Jay was like, did you really think he did it now? No, stupid.

No, I did this. We both knew. I did this the other day. He really is a micro corrector. Me and Bobby are connected at the same thing. When we are back into a corner, we get the same exact way. And I just saw it happen to Bobby. We're like, when you come in, and two or connected at the same thing when we are back into a corner We get the same exact way I just saw it happen the Bobby right when you come in and two or three of the people who are laughing you go

Okay fuckers. Oh, we're doing this. Okay. All right. Well if you let me finish what the fuck I'm saying But if I could fucking finish it, I guess you know what everyone laughs you guys laugh But we were in on it and you came out of it me You guys laugh, but we were in on it and you came out of it me The pizza's not good is what you're saying. It's good. Don't listen to him I don't want to get both sides. He's a Philly snob Bring it up on this is. Bring up awful Frank. First of all, they cut it. They think their big funny thing, the big fun thing about it,

they make three kinds of pizza. It's pepperoni and clam and plain. White clam. Listen, me? And they come in and they just cut it. They think their cool thing is they just cut it however. They just slice it up. Not in a, like, just not in a.

It's in a 100-year-old oven, over 100 years. They've been cooking in this oven. It's amazing. Reallyican son a hundred year oven. Oh, it's it's Frank Pepe's the originals in New Haven stupid Yeah, they do have one in Mohican's new Haven is the original right where I took I was going to a college We stopped at the original before even Mohican and they didn't have any They didn't have any other franchises franchises. Yeah No, you help me. Come on that's we were hugging over things like that last week You help me and I accept that it was a teamwork you ready to pounce

So so we stopped at Frank Pepe's and I got a a clam, a clam pizza, and I got a regular pizza, and we ate it on the hood of that white Honda. I was like, dude, you gotta, you gotta let it cool down. We ate it, but then I remember what happens with this pizza, we brought it in the car and it smelled up his whole fucking car with clam pizza. Yeah, it was bad. And then we went and did this college and the college sucked. But yeah, that was it. Yeah. It's so good. You know, we have our own pizza in St. Louis.

It's a style that's different. With spaghetti on it? It's not spaghetti. What is it? I'm not gonna tell you. Buddy, I'm sorry. Hey man, I was just trying to, I didn't know.

That was not passive aggressive. I thought that was, you have Cincinnati spaghetti pizza. Am I right? That's Cincinnati, man. That's spaghetti, but yeah, we're St. Louis. It's squares, thin crust, and it's toppings to the edge, but it's a cheese that you can only get in St. Louis. Only?

Only in St. Louis. You can only get the cheese in St. Louis. You're not the first one to play this. Like my uncle, my friend's own. Gary? Yeah, tell him I said hi. Because we both play this fucking game. Okay?

You can get that cheese in New Hampshire. It's Provel and you can't get anywhere but St. Louis. Christine's all about this. The Provel Cow is from fucking San Luis. It's a mix of four different cheeses. It's Provel, you can only get it in St. Louis. Buddy, Provel, you get four different cheeses. You get the Provelian cheese from the Provel Cow. You get the Cheddar cheese. You get the Prevellian cheese from the Prevelle cow.

You get the Cheddar cheese. You get the Prevalone and you get the Gabba Jupe. I know how to get this. I wasn't sure if... Oh, I gotta try this. This looks... This has Christine written all over it. This is like why Domino's Thin Crust is modeled after.

I'll send you guys some, man. But the cheese is... Domino's doesn't have that cheese. But yeah, it's very different. Listen to me. Do you wanna see where they're coming from? I say Frank Peppi's. hundred-year-old oven been there forever It's one of the known as one of the best pizza places in the country

No one talks with her cheese and she goes just boring as well dominoes. They're trash Oh Christine you see what's happening Bobby's doing the thing you just did I'm gonna gang up on you I'm Christine start doing she goes I'm gonna get a fucking time machine. You know what I said you know what I said you hope I don't have a time machine If I get a time machine, I'm gonna let you just go to the future We're all turning each other shitty pizza Grimaldi's Lombardi's Lombardi's We had we loved let's get back together here Lombardo no we went to Detroit Detroit we were in Detroit

We got there tomorrow. We went to uh I mean we were in the ghetto with the but in the ghetto This plate Philly has place like this at that Nick's roast beef. Yeah, it's in a bad neighborhood But when you walk into the restaurant a play it's safe way different So it's one of if not the original place. It's one up. Yeah, it was really in the ghetto What's the name of it? I'm trying to remember if I saw the name I might remember I think look at me in Detroit the bad number one Detroit's thing, but we went to it and that was Me you and Ari we got a salad which was great Yeah, salad and pizza is probably one of my favorite. If I was on Death Row and my last meal

would be salad and pizza, I love it. And this place was fucking great. Because it's not like Chicago pizza, which is garbage. I disagree. It's garbage. You're wrong. It's wet. The cornmeal crust sometimes.

Ugh. Cornmeal. Oh, you're talking about that. But I mean the deep dish. Deep dish, but some of them have like the, like, yeah. Oh, you're talking about that. But I mean the, uh. It's garbage. The deep dish. Deep dish, but some of them have like the, like, yeah. I wouldn't like that so much. But a deep dish is good, but it's a slice.

This was, this was fucking amazing. It may have been buddies, I think it was. I think it was buddies. It is so good. Yeah, we were probably in Six Mile because it was terrifying. And Bobby got pulled into a battle rap. Yeah, but I won, but I won. Tell them I won. Don't just say I pulled into a battle rap. But I won, but I won.

Tell them I won. Don't just say I got into a battle rap and I didn't win. I apologize. Because I fucking won. And then we got out of there safe because of me. Because I made fun of myself. I made fun of myself and your clothes.

And they were like, oh shit, this motherfucker's real. And he's like, now what you all gonna say about me next? And he threw it. He went acapella too. The beat stopped and he went off the grid. I just went off on the fucking grid. And then we went and had pizza, and they paid for it. That's right.

Just the instinct to go, to make fun of yourself right there when you're under attack is- I had no- He was like, and your name's Clarence, dude, and Clarence has good parents, dude. And Clarence went to private school, y'all. Dude. Yeah, when you turn me on the dial, you wind at eight mile and now we're gonna get a slice And I rolled the dice when I went into your hood

And that's what I'm not wearing because I ain't fucking racist like you and the Clarence. That's why I'm here to say I'm hungry Let me and big Jay get away keep the Jew. We don't care about him. That's why we gonna get slim this summer He's an ozemp. I got a baby stomach. I'm gonna call you over there Jacob I show you over there not showing respect is because you don't understand his new style where he rhymes every fifth line Old-school style where every other line hits dude, but that's not Bobby's freaky Anybody does that biatch's he boring ass Eminem that's Bobby fucking K yeah god damn it man god damn it Jay it really didn't get his self I didn't I feel like Jacob was making a face he was like none of this rhymes and I go he

doesn't understand your scheme dude he doesn't understand your scheme, dude. He doesn't understand it. He doesn't understand your scheme. No, because he's used to what he knows and what they want him to know. Jacob, you wanna live in this little box, dude. I know the lethal weapon wrapping. Yeah, you want everything to be. My name is Roger.

You want everything. With a he to who to hodger. You remember that? Just like every other line. No. Huh? They were at dinner with Moe. They were at dinner.

Yeah, I remember that. It was the worst rap. Original lethal weapon? Yes. Yeah. I haven't. It was the worst rap. Originally The Weapon? Yes. Yeah. I haven't seen that in a long time. He raps. The Kid raps, right?

And then his father raps. Yeah. He tries to show them that he can rap. So it was a cute moment. I mean, he had been getting... He likes cute rap. I do. I'm Detroit pizza street rap.

You're more hardcore. I'm hardcore street rap. They were gonna kill us. We found out we all forgot our waltz to place and then Bobby had to really rap us out of that joint. I rapped him out. I was like, yo, we don't got the fee. You wanna take a pee?

You can't unless you make me go out the door with my fucking whores. Ari, Jay, and Christine's not there. But you know what? None of us care. Cause we had a good time and I rhyme and it's time to shut this show down. No, no, we still have a few minutes. Oh, sorry, no, I was talking about my show. Oh, the show, oh.

My show. The show was in the show. Apologies. Micro correction, Jay. See, that's great. I thought you would only be able to do that if you were under attack, but you just did it. Buddy, I'm under attack now.

My credibility is under attack with this little fucking, uh, this wizard over here. Every five line rhymes. Yeah, he doesn't understand. I understand. Bobby, you know, I think Jacob, it's like, you don't understand what I call 1118 time. You might not understand time signatures in music, but I got this 1118, something like that. Maybe a seven four, seven four times.

Things don't make sense. He's getting me mad Jay It's I don't want this venom to come out like this Well, I don't want it to come out like this Dave Blunt's campers tourists There's a space for a guy looking to eat on the road is that Dave Blunt's is not the big fat guy. Yeah Mmm. Oh, what do we have to go? Why what but oh, sorry were we getting to the public domain time there? 30 seconds. Bobby, you can only rap for 30 seconds.

That's the good news. Or my ass will be jammed. You don't have to worry about us. Oh, give us the little rap. Give us the rap from the lethal weapon. I wanna hear it. My favorite. Here we go.

It's really short. This is your favorite rap? I just love how bad Roger is. Oh, oh, oh. My name is Carrie. I'm no fairy. my sister's Sherry, She's in love with Danny and I'm Carrie. That's not even it.

I'm warning you, the Danny Glover one is the one you want. Well that was a couple for everybody. Cause that was, they were taking tension away from the moment. People don't know I beatbox too. I'm gonna rock that out, but whatever. Do you know the little one that was rapping when she grew up? Psss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss Okay, I need a move the painting. Do you have a pepsi? Nebulizer those from the chick-fil-a the last one that wasn't that wasn't me be box and I was I can't Primateen missed with you

It's all sort of Bobby was just having there. Jay just fucking remembered Primateam. I know it was a thing. Yeah, it was a thing. I have no idea what it was. My parents are respiratory therapists so I know Primateam knows this. Wow. All right, here we go right here.

What is Primateam is? It's an over-the-counter bronchodilator. Hey, use for temporary relief of minutes. So Primateam is essentially a over-the-counter asthma thing. Greg Warren's new special, The Champ, premieres this Friday, May 16th on the Nate Land YouTube channel.

Good for you, man. Thanks, buddy. You can also hear Greg regularly on Pure Comedy and Jeff and Larry's comedy roundup on Sirius XM. Make sure you check him out on the road. He's absolutely hilarious, but watch that special. Rate, review, review leave comments share it

That's the most important thing get it out there always always this year again That's what you're doing go to Nate land YouTube channel and watch first days are the most important Yeah It's right now go check it out and send it to your friends and share that stuff like it and watch it again Make sure you get it out there for him. He's a very funny, hilarious guy. Thanks, fellas. Absolutely. Make sure you go check out Robert Kelly, PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly.

He's coming to the Parks Casino in Bethlehem very soon. This weekend, I am in Cincinnati. Liberty Funny Bone. Josh Eddermeyers is gonna be there with me. Wow, what I'm gonna be saying again when Josh Eddermeyers is opening his own amusement park and I'll be like, he used to open for me. Yeah, that's true.

Josh Land. welcome to Josh land we'll catch you guys tomorrow back here on the bonfire at the same bad time until then everybody crackle crackle crackle crackle