The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Decoy Stash (feat. Josh Adam Meyers & Dan St. Germain)

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Dan St.Germain and Josh Adam Meyers return and find out which comedian has a secret "go stash" just in case he has to vanish one day!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Oh, isn't that a good slow motion video? Is it? Could you slow my ball?

That was fantastic. I three of those videos, man. Usually when somebody says, hey, check out this video of a dude's balls, it never lives up to the hype. Yeah. You know what's funny about that video too, is that she thought it was so funny that we would show it to like friends and she would be like, no, show them the video.

Like, she's adorable. She's the best. what happened with her? She's dead. She passed away. She's choking a nut. She's following her last ball Your suspension bridge nuts. I think those were good shape nuts They were little there like there's two videos in the first video. Well, she's got little one down. So it's really, it looks like you have like very one prompt. So like the skin was loose and really hugging the ball. Also, that was, that was when I was hooked on opiates. And I think opiates definitely.

Try's out your bag. Definitely. Yeah, dude, it makes it definitely. I'm not good for you. Yeah. I love when people come up with things that opiates do bad Yeah, you get dry bag For Josh works out so much his balls are just fucking lean and shredded. Yeah, dude Before that was right before wrestling match, so he had to make weights So that's why his balls looked like so gone I was on I think at that time we did that that was that was I was on opiates I was on anivar which does dry you out and I was on testosterone so nothing dries out your ball back does No, dude. I think that's not a thing

You do if you take if you take something like anivar which dries out your I'll tell you what dries out your ball bag Coming as much as you do that's what dries it out. Yeah, maybe your balls just empty Yeah, you used to empty sack. Oh, yeah I thought you see it was coming in tomorrow Fuck yeah How's it going buddy good to see it everybody dance st. Germain hanging out with us joining the show Everybody dance St. Germain hanging out with us joining the show. Yeah, he showed dance St. Germain and friends happening tomorrow night November 9th at 8 p.m. at Old Man hustle and Brooklyn is part of the New York comedy festival the lineup includes Ricky Vallez Dina Hashem

Sean Donnelly and more longer Ricky. So Jay if you were What happened to Ricky? He get a gig. He's opening for Pete. So I take the money, you know. Shit, you know, where's Pete? Um, he is in Canada. Oh, it's like on the road or something. Yeah, it's like one of those. So, but we will have a replacement and I will be awkwardly asking my friends to fill it. I'm in the also cool room. I don't want to do it because my comedy is very filthy.

Yeah, dude, you know what I heard, but I'm team Bobby. Please do me a show tomorrow. I'm one. Yeah, my comedy is very filthy. Yeah, dude, you know what I heard, but I'm team Bobby. Please do me a show tomorrow. I'm one. Yeah, fuck you, Mark Marrick. Bobby, I really need a fair room. I'm so close. Can you please be as filthy as you want. I'm doing well.

Look at me. Bobby, feel free to be as rebellious as you want up there. Yeah, dude. I don't think Dirty makes. I can't believe he's, I just heard, I mean, I only heard this like walking in. We're on the air, right? Yeah, dude, I don't think dirty makes I can't believe he's I just heard I mean I only heard this like walking in We're on the air it. Yeah, I walked that that is I mean, I like Mark, but that is a passive aggressive Mark Marin special. Yeah, that is a pat

That is a like like I can't kill with dirty the way you can so I'm gonna say that that's a thing that you shouldn't be Yeah, you know like that's a thing that you shouldn't be out of. You know, like that's clearly what that is because Maron can't, I'm not even to say this is Suck Bobby's dick and not because I desperately need him to do my show tomorrow night in New York Commons. Before you say this, I'm not doing it. So now I'm T. Maron.

What the fuck? WTF pod. Maron do my show. Please. I need an answer. I don't know if you heard that. I don't know if you heard that. But if you asked me to do your show,

also that might go terrible for you. Is it for Josh? It is. It's weird. We already discussed it. But he just shit all. He did the jam a million times and he'd shit and when I asked him to say, oh, when you do the comedy central one or the one no for this is

like recently this is he had done it a bunch of your rock star to sure and he he's more and it's it's so it's just nasty Josh was like do you want to do the anniversary show the anniversary is a big show he goes I barely like doing it when it's uh when it's a regular show I don't want to be a part of it Josh gives him actually great introductions. Oh yeah, he makes out mark is I give it up for mark No, he brought me up. He brought me up one time. He brought J up just all right. I'll say it because you you keep fucking it up I say and that and because you just walked up with Jay. It's so funny and Listening to Josh and it's like listening to someone doing Josh and Josh is wrong

It is the craziest thing I've ever seen I'm gonna adjust out the unfunny way. I know, but it's like, literally sounds, like Josh doing it sounds like, how I would pay would a pirate everybody. So what happened was we're doing Moon Tower. They're gonna go and do a dual performance, and I'm, we're high. What's your home?

A dual performance. A duo. I don't like, you do, you do as far as I do. A duo performance? A dual performance? A dual performance do prefer to go up there and just You guys are gonna get 20 paces. You guys are gonna go running 37 on each other But guys are doing do-o performances of the same song So so you got one guy going in

One guy like a lot the other one's I don't know. Just jammer. One guy I like a lot. The other one's repalatious. Feel it, feel it. Feel it, feel it. I was about that. So I, I,

I, and worst we smoked before it's, you know, it's the end of the night. And I bring up, I bring up Jay. I'm about to go, I'm gonna go Jay's intro them and to do Bobby Kelly's. And I give Jay like he's the godfather of the god damn comedy jam.

He's one of the main reasons we are. Godfather of comedy in New York. In New's the godfather of the god damn comedy jam. He's one of the main. We are comedy in New York in New York. God for the comedy. I think I thought the god damn comedy jam in New York. Godfather comedy. You're a great intro. Godfather of comedy. I mean, that's great.

He's a godfather of the comedy. Jam. He was gonna say Godfather of comedy for you, Bobby. But what happened was he gave me an intro and then completely forgot you were doing the song with me and then he saw your face and he goes about to get his the embarrassing part. I was in full regalia. So it's like and I had a scarf on and I had I literally had a fucking a costume on and Baba Kelly and I'm not I'm not just sucking your dick

because you can't do my show tomorrow. It's a worthless to me, but I saw you on that Colin Quinn wet's ear so funny. You were so funny. Oh, that's not what we can hear. Oh, sorry. All right, where are you now, you rogue Kelly?

Oh, no, no, Josh doesn't. I don't know. Trying to give him a compliment. No, thank you. That's what I do. It's not the zippin' zapp. No, no, no, no, you can hear it. But no, he's very, if you haven't seen it,

like he's in Colin Quinn's web no, he's very, if you haven't seen it, like he's in Colin Quidd's web series and he's very, very fun. Oh, they're the cop show, cop show. Yeah, just like seeing him do like a fake Asian accent and then being mortified, it's really funny. Cop show, I can't believe they didn't pick that up. One of the funniest TV shows, if that was on television, it would be a smash.

You were like, you and Colin were, because then he like, Colin, I mean mean I don't want to blow it but Colin like start talking about how like such a sexually seductive you are I mean I was really I mean both really I'm not just saying it's very funny it's very funny Keith was so funny in that because he couldn't remember his fucking lines yeah he kept calling me the wrong thing and I and at one point I start screaming at him it's not that but I'm it's real like It was a real thing. He is a stroke victim, but yeah, he was that was before oh

No excuse That was part of his stroke Thomas my name is David He's no burt toast mr. Bing it's sister. Mr. Ping. I'm dying. Mr. Ping. Oh Misegasias very fucking funny. So Bobby, can we bring up here? Yeah, while we have everybody in the room. Sure Because now the Christine's back we could check The things Bobby Kelly told me outside That we're talking about having a stash

Maybe away from your family and loved ones. There's a stash of cash. You know some go money. You live with a girl, you're married, you have a family, you gotta have as a man, I believe a stash. Actually, I was thinking about that today. You have a two stashes. I have a little stash that I know my wife knows about,

that she can pillage, fuck with think, oh, I got you. And then I have my- Teacoi stash. I have my little stash that I know my wife knows about that she can pillage, fuck with, think, oh, I got you. And then I have my- Decoi stash. I have my other stash that she knows nothing about. That's slick. So there's a brand-o duck food thing. You know, I get it. I'm starting to think about it.

Maybe I need to have a stash. I could, yeah. My Bobby's got me goose stuff for you. Now I'm in the point of marriage where it's all our money. Yeah, you do that. But I'm, you guys are all in relationships, so I don't have anybody. I'm, you have somebody.

Nobody knows how sad it is for J.O. I am a man. Maybe I'm a travener. I'm a travener. I'm a travener. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, look man. I said, look man. No, when you get married to it, you have to see two have to hide money from your wife. No, Bob really. So a Bobby set outside was in a stash. I don't know how he got to it exactly other than saying,

like, he said, I'm gonna get gold bars. No, I said gold bars. I said, go bar, we were joking. Yeah, gold, you should get transferred cash into gold because it's smaller. It's easier to, you know, $20,000 in cash is a lot more to carry in your pocket than, you know, 10 gold coins.

CIA almost tells you CIA guys on YouTube. It says carry silver coins because you can use them anywhere in the world. But Bobby, you have to say, it's easier to grab. This is the measurements. It's easier to carry. I have $10,000 in gold coins as a, it's hard to carry. And the hand gesture he made was or $10,000 in cash, which that's not.

$10,000 about that big. Thank you. In, in 100s, sure, 20 not how it works. $10,000 about that big. Thank you. In 100s. Sure, 120s, 50s, and 100s. But then, because when I, I'd say, I'd say, well, it goes smaller. When I do sex work, I don't get paid at all. I am 150 for half hour.

I'm 160 for a full hour hour. I say every time you get it. But every time you get $10,000, I say, go trade it in for Chris behind us. I would watch an entire web series of like you as a sex worker, but it's just new negotiating not the sex thing. That would be really funny. You want to round the world for $16?

I'll pay my face. All right, all right. What is this $95 of those prices? I think $10,000 from cash versus 10 thousand dollars. What is that? Look at that. That's $10,000 in gold coins, which is nothing. Now show me $10,000 in cash.

It's way better. How is it that small amount for 10 thousand dollars? Because gold is worth a lot of money, dude. But what do you do with, is that coin worth upon payment of something like, here's my $5,000 gold coin? You have to bite it in half to pay for vegetables. You want a shirt? Look at this, 10, that, look at that.

You can get a little bank and that sucks. That's in 20s though. That's in 20s, yeah. Okay, we do it in 50s. You show just show me in Hondo's. Show a hundred. That's a very small dude. I mean, that one does, it's this big. It's very small. Those are crisp hundos

Show me in 50s Show me that show me in pennies. This is like fucking 50 year old ASMR just money. He's the sound of like F-1.8 flipping I do love that, dude. I said the guy, the gangster guy who runs governors. I love that guy, by the way. I love him. James, he's the best.

James the best. James the best. He's awesome. I don't give, like, I want mob run clubs because they treat you right. They go in there, they act like you're still, like, like it's 80 stand up, do you know what I mean they're like hello, sir, you know like now. It's like Doing the mole, you know, and now it's like I'm talking to somebody's like yeah, I lost you stand up

Like that's the but that's so much words of a thing like I could have done a pro But you know, I'm just running a club now, but he scares me because at the end of the night He'll give you a piece of paper in pencil with the numbers. He's scary. He goes this. All all right, look at that. And I'm like, okay, it looks good. And then he goes, I get that back to me. And I'm like, okay. And then he goes, he goes, put this, put this money in that money counter. And he goes, that's my favorite thing. When he puts in the thing in his head, he goes, I take that, that's yours. And I'm like, okay. You're not going to say no. It's not like you're going to like,, if you got it like 800 bucks, you'd be like, thanks buddy, have a good one.

As an outsider, the only time besides, the only time in person I've seen that machine is in that office. Other than that, it's been the things are going good montage of movies. It is, you're right. Well, I've seen it, things are not going well for me. Yeah.

It's great, you mentioned that because when I saw it, things were not going great. Can I get you the machine? I can't just your money. I didn't get the chance to the machine. It's only $60. I don't know if I ever told this story on the show, but I did the Blue Plum Festival in Johnson City, Tennessee. This was like... I can hook you up don't worry I can guess what anybody wants to do full plum festival I can hook you up

Jacob You ready to get back in the one man? I guess the headliner for the blue plum festival and Like the host showed up in hourly his name was X He just comes because I'm X and I've never had a guy show up in our latest a host And then he gave me like a mighty duck's motivational space of like we're gonna go out there brother We're gonna why we're gonna kill it, you know, and this is like and it was such a great thing because I just don't I did my first late I said I did found a week before and I like had thought I was like the shit

You know what I mean? And then I did this gig and I was like oh This is I picked a night a lifetime of misery real life All real life always follows the biggest things ever. I just did 17,000 Then I was told it was a fucking Solaceous twat and I'm playing pots down on Saturday night I just She had a so Joe I just So Joe yeah, so people came what it was just Dracula but I think Maran I think Maran was gonna call you fat in that tweet But he can't say that last second he was like fat

Rebellacious anyway anyway, oh wait. Oh, he's not only fat. I'm gonna change fat with filth I actually do think Maran's a killer, but he's not Bobby. You know what I mean? He's not he's not you're Bobby It's different kind of it's fine. He's a different type of killer. It's a different type of I've seen him legit kill But he's annoyed because you can kill with more people. That's what that's about anyway back to my amazing blue plum story I'm doing this blue plum festival Excellent my my had a big joke at the time which is like my cat guy joke and I did it silence and then some guy Dressed as an actual cat goes on stage and just starts rubbing his dick against me The end of the weekend I I go to the end of the weekend like it was $500

That was how much I made and I Specifically as a headliner. I made $500 and I got there and he brought me up. He this guy. He was like he kind of looked like a Fatter version of you with like a mullet and a blue tank top. You could see the pits nice and he was like He counted he took a money count of her $500 the saddest money counting you're ever gonna say It's like half a second, you know what I mean? It's like, but, and he gives me the $500. He's like, how was it? And it's the only time I ever, and the first time I've done this as like a headliner,

and I've done it since then, but it's the first time I gave up and I was like, honestly man, it was pretty fucking shitty. And he goes, I figured. No, that was my blue plum comedy film. Did you get a hoodie? No, I didn't have a hoodie. If you're gonna pay $500 for a headlining weekend, you're not getting a hoodie, okay?

Although I had that, I've had to like clubs recently because I didn't pack enough clothes and like, I'm not going to say the club, but I asked like, can I get the, can I get your guys hoodie? They like rolled their eyes and I was like, I'm headlining your clothes! Give me your hoodie! And I'm doing it at the lowest rate as a headlining. When you went now, diet coax, what's next? What's next? I'm a two grand weekend lowest rate as a headliner. When you went now, diet, coax, what's next? What's next?

What's next? I'm a two grand weekend. Like give me the hoodie. What's next? Lights on stage. Oh my God. You want people? You like the mic?

You like the mic hot? Yeah, it was like, and they looked at me like I was asking for, like, remember that old Jim Norton standup show where they had a Lamy playing, heavy map? Did you do that? Down in 30. Like, I don't know if you did that one. I didn't do it But it was like but there was like all this like heavy. I'm not asking for that. I'm just asking for hoodie. That's all I want. I just want to be warm on the flight

All right now that I've got that can let me get involved I'd like to get let me involved. Okay, good. How are you guys doing the right thing here? We're going the right direction I'm almost ready to sign this Can we get Lemmy involved? I go for that instead of an extra thousand dollars. I just go for Lemmy I'm like look I'm fine with two thousand or fifty hundred a week in I just get Lemmy here, please I like Lemmy's moles Good mole. Oh, I just get them off you think there's still boys dead. Yeah, I know they're off now

Yeah, they're still there I thought they're bones I'm rat try to eat them and they died They said uh, he that could have been fixed at any given time in his life. Yeah Simply and relatively cheaply sure that could have been handled You made him let me was this a thing that also added to the no I think it's a made him ugly Yeah, you didn't need those there's no way you needed those no, there's no need that at all you know you don't need a Nugget on your face. What age? What age you start getting like skin tags like what is that start happening?

What wait? I got when I was getting fat. I started getting them and then I and now I don't I haven't got them since and I got them all removed The skin tags suck. So what were you before this what what would it wait to do get you before the surgery? She went right now the heaviest was I think 360 355 I'm only five 355 Isn't that the measurements that sir mix a lot the scribes and baby cup Bobby Kelly before the 36 47 53 only if he Bobby the Kelly and Abdul of the butcher at the same

God damn dude We all we have really claimed up at once there me and Josh are gonna go see the Rizza Jay tried to figure us all at once I would have went to that one what Would you? Yeah. There was a talk about we sure. Sure, I like stuff like that. I like music and stuff like that. I like sitting down a little bit, you can sit down. Oh, I think there's gonna be some sitting, some standing. What do you think there's gonna be some standing? What do you think there's gonna be?

I'd love to see Josh do like, like, Krad worked for like a hurricane relief shelter. Like, I can be a, I rat, I rat, there's enough bottles for everything We got one blanket we can pass around oh sweet. Oh why you got that black guy your husband pissing I know You gotta have the kids sleep in here. Oh Changes a bad voice for making you feel like better when you're dead What you story that's Josh is a bad voice for making you feel like better when you're dead. Oh, that guy's so, you got it in his game, Ray. What's your story?

That sucks. What? Oh, I can't live sleeping on a cot. I'm solid. I look at it up lunchables for two, y'all. And that got you just before one guy, but for guys around it, that's crazy. I want to make Josh merch where it's like him

as a peanuts character I told you with with the head up and above it say He's the funniest head of FEMA after disaster Look guys, oh, there was relieved. There was it Throw paper towels actually Everybody right now sing with me it's gonna get bad We're gonna help with MJ Ogerson sing imagine You're gonna get back on your feet get up and make it come on Again to tonight. They're like we want houses stop

Subterin tradition of musical review I gotta go change up my money to gold coins. I'm getting silver Yeah, you gotta get a stash first. Oh, get a stash first. Oh yeah, for sure. What's a good stash? Like 50, 100? That's not Christine like, 100? Like, 100? 100?

Christine's like, I need a stash. We're in the same stash. We're in the same stash. So it's kind of all his stash. No, no. You have a stash. No, but she has no stash. No, she does.

She has a stash. Buddy, I've given it, let me take some. I know she has a stash. Because every once in a while, like, you know, we know we always hey you want this and I'll be like hey take this I'll give you a little money she'll be like all right I'll take it and she puts it in her stash. Well it's be fair because back into the Starbucks fun. What is the stash? How much is in the stash right now? I guess that would just be my bank account. What's your stash is your bank account? Do you

have a stash? That's like a cash. No. The only time we do have a stash that's like a cash with the only time we do have a stash in the houses when he does governors. Yeah, you know, when you work for the mob, wherever I work for the mob, you get you get paid in cash and for coats and catalax. No, Christina's access. The governor's not going to like this podcast. Most of my dough, you're the best. There's a secret account. I have what you don't need a secret account.

You don't have to vanish. You got to take your cash, find a spot to put it, and your key just add to it. Like I'm talking, dude, I'm talking seller money. I would take spot money and just throw it over here. I bet you your stash is at, I bet you it's at least a 20k if not more. I'm gonna tell you what my stash is.

That's, I got it right by the way. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, absolutely not, not is. That's I got it right by the way. No, that's the way. No, that's the way. I got a 60,000 stash. Absolutely not. Not a 60, not that. It's at 20? It's, I'm gonna tell you what it is. Oh, that is.

I got it right. 30,000 stash. No, but the thing is, you said you had a 60,000 on a stash cash cash cash cash. You have a 60k stash cash cash cash. You don't have it just lying somewhere. Wow, that's good. That's pretty good It's a lie. Yeah, you shouldn't say that yeah, you're really you're gonna get robbed now you have sixty dollars Thousand cash laying around you have six

Wait No, no, no, it's not in my Duffel bag under my Hand said back under my foot. I'm having a hot sat. I just want to join it. Let me rephrase this. I have. And then I can find it. It's from all the wounds. I get stuffed in my Antoine wanted.

I can't wait. I'm going to book you notes. I'm going to book you nights when I go over Josh's house next time. You're going to say, uh, he's like, can I get anything? I'm going to get the best of bed to the goddamn board. I'm going to get the worst of that. I want. I said I want you to go in the goddamn

I know I know I'm a cracker see a man. I was in a pretty good. I mean, like smells the money I was in a band with his brother. I actually grew up living next door to that guy Thomas Jane I like Thomas Jane. He got oh quick, but no, he made he made party. I don't think party I think he abused alcohol and drugs, and now he's doing like, like, the real estate. He's a cowboy movie. No, but like, money playing.

He's doing, he's doing, he's doing like, you know. He's doing, I like to cocaine a lot. Yes, but he was, he was, argue, let me do the mist. This was great. This was great to hear about. He just did a movie about he was a ranger. Cowboy ranger. Great. It was a good movie. Not great. Good movie. And

then I don't want to say great because Jail if he ever sorry, but great. And but he's all the shit. He went. He got old man. He's like a poor man Sam Rockwell. That's what I would say. Yeah. He's he he fell the fuck. He could have been Sam Rockwell if he knew her. I don't know if he could have been Sam Rockwell. I think you're the acting chops to a point. No, great. He's really good. He's very good.

He was very good. I thought Hung was underrated, you know what I mean? I thought he was great in that, but I don't think he's Sam Rockwell. No, he was not. He was a punishment. Punisher, he was not. I didn't like him in Punisher. He's a character actor.

He was an autistic guy and predator He's better at like he's better at characters, but he's we start talking this was just turned into like a Thomas James What we start talking about disappointment Maybe the mutant chronicles and I got super bummed out that I found out on Howard's turn today that Jennifer Lawrence's New nude scene that came out where she shows full bush and they've enhanced it and HD in it where you can really see. I mean her clam. And like, it can hardly wait for this one. It turns out turns out the market,

Merkin and underwear. Oh, it's fake. Yeah. Sorry, Jay. I'm sorry, Jay. I was like, I was like, man, jinnah for long. It's the NBC, the more you know, but for a sex addict. Well, like, guys, not- I believed it in the sense of like, though,

I'm like, jinnah for Lawrence, if you recall, when her fapeting happened, it was like load all over, facing, it was like out there. So you're like, oh, she's probably gonna go out. You never saw that, Jinnah? I saw the, I've heard, I've heard it, she's probably gonna go. I saw that. I saw the I've heard I've heard There was only naked photos. I have not heard about there's a photo. Yeah, there's a photo. It's kind of crazy

she has Gismotic fluid all over it. She I'm telling you there's a lot more J There's a lot more J law Fappening picks than you think she's been nailed a lot Yeah, they go fucking way a hundred percent. Oh, yeah, I feel bad Is that a is that a breathe right nose strip on her is that not come that's not that's around 30,000 kids That's goddamn common to jay Now who's that's I know that photo that's I mean, if you're gonna have a photo leak,

that's pretty good. She looks great. Yeah, she's unbelievable. I like the photo. What is that shower one with her butt? I don't think it's her. Oh, no. Who's the guy, though?

That was actually my mom where I before she passed. Who is the guy? Who's the last photo she did? Right before she died. Yeah, she just wanted to give us something to remember. Who is the guy that she was supposedly with or during at this time? That's not her.

She was dating the X-Men guy. That's not her right there. Beast James, oh. I don't think that's her. Chelsea Grammar? That's me. Oh, yeah, that's actually you. That was me.

That was my photo, right? Yeah, that there, that gigantic beautiful cock. Come. Is that her? Yeah. That's not her. I don't think that's her. Yeah it is. It is though. She never even denied those are her. Oh really? But in this new movie she shows her...

That's not her. That's not her. Okay, that's not her. These are fake now, yes. He's choking. This is terrible. That's real. That's real. Yeah, they're always gonna be see a little shit coming out of the assets real Wait, I just revealed something But yeah, but But and it's a good book. I was like I was really surprised. I'm like damn like you know what? It's all out there at this point now So she probably got paid a gang of money to do a movie where she did his full front on nudity for a long scene It's a decent movie. It's like, you please bring up the end of the movie.

I will say it's like four, I will say like four a nude scene because I saw that movie. No hard feelings. I think it's called. It's not bad. But like for a nude scene, she could have like, she leaned into funny. Like she, sure. It's like her just being normal, like she's not like, she's like,

you just see her naked, it's like, it's actually, whenever they're like, it's brave, it's brave nudity, this is actually brave nudity. Yeah, Christine, there's one that's, I don't know, I'm trying to, maybe none of the hands does the wrong word, but, HD, right, 4K, right,

4K dude, we're so past HD, dude. HD is like like she's now she's high She's actually hotter in that See can you bring up the laser Disco which is like pretty amazing Christine the the VHS version Actually Christine it might be on

uh 420 com if you look it up look it's in If you bring up 420 uh 780P please Should we uh should we take a break? Yes. And then we'll come back and then we'll see if we can find this. We got a great guy. Josh will be at the House of Comedy in Plano, Texas, November 16th through the 19th. And he'll be in Bloomington, and VanCouver and Phoenix get tickets Josh Adam Myerson. Dotcom Josh Adam Myers. The best. Dotcom.

Pretty sure you just said Josh Adam Myerson. I did. I did. Well you fucked my way up so Myers. Fine, now take it. I was hoping he doesn't mind. I gave you fucking hours of material to shit on me with. I know.

And I'm still going. Thank you Mark Marin was right about you. No! No. No! You. Danced your main and friends is tomorrow night. November 9th, get your tickets. APM, Old Man Hustle, in Brooklyn, is part of the New York Comedy Festival.

The lineup is Big J. Ocusen. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna tell you the house. Sorry. Can you do it? Can you do it? Please. Dina Hasham, Sean Donnelly, and more tickets and everything. Go to omanhustle.com, bigj, bigj, comedy.com, Philadelphia, sell it out.

No, I'm not going to be here tomorrow. He's canceled the show. He's going to be here. And Robert Kelly is going to be in Potsdale and Pete. And Robert Kelly is going to be here. And Robert Kelly is going to be in Potsdale and Pete. And Robert Kelly is going to be here. And Robert Kelly is going to be in Potsdale and Pete. And Robert Kelly is going to be in Potsdale and Pete. jay and i would have him on the show tomorrow night when that would remain it's a major amount of these cancel the show i'm gonna be here and i have robercow is going to be in potstown pa watch your ankles on stage

keep them off the edge bobby i hope i get pulled off that's saturday november eleven please nobody actually lunatics please don't do a were a copycat killing on bobby please don't do that he's kidding uh... that's saturday novemberth one night only Baltimore November 17th and 18th of course Dania Beach Saratola Springs Wisconsin all coming up for tickets and all tour dates Robert Kelly live calm we'll be right back honey it's the Bob oh in our live show live show don't forget that bonfire live holiday spectacular Tuesday

December 12th 7pm complimentary tickets are at the comedy or at comedy seller Got them now get them now. We get a very special Yeah, now before you look this up. It's gonna be great. Well, we can tease I get teased it It's a guy you got to watch because you were saying before you got to learn how to disappear Jason Hansen is XCIA He's got tutorials and what, Bobby, you're ahead of the game. You've got an arsenal.

Yep, I do. You're preparing for the war. I'm preparing for it. Whatever the guy in the council, it's only, it's coming. But he teaches you how to disappear. He teaches you how to have the belt. How much money does he say?

How much money do you say you need to really vanish I don't he'll tell you the exact number. I'm guessing it's got a big has a belt seven Okay, he's really vanished. He has a belt that has secret pockets. This is good combination He tells you he has the stuff to get out of handcuffs. Yeah in the belt he has Silver coins gold coins and cash how do you get it handcuffs? He has a video on how to get it. You have to learn how to make us easy. You have to learn magic.

No. How do you get the rings to separate? Damn, I don't know. I just watch it and enjoy it. The Fiasmos want it less. It's like been a lot and it's an angel. Not using the keyhole. You're using you're putting something in where the

the penis, the catheter catheter. And then the last goes to his balls. You're putting something in where the pain is the catheter Josh's balls if you look you can learn all this but he'll make you feel like a jerk off No, I watch I can't believe I'm gonna be I'm gonna check that stuff out tomorrow during the show Yeah, because I I think you know how much money to it would take for you to vanish and not you know I don't want to live off. I don't want to eat bugs I want to live but just gone yeah fake name the whole deal I want to know what ever costs he'll teach you this on YouTube I appreciate that we'll be right back everybody it's the monfire a loop man It should be J-Japs in the hug air. I get duggy due to Linus, Guggy, and a Booz. Chuggy, muggy, Boo to Linus, come on, hold two.

I'm like, rawr. You know it's funny. Say that about a blue. He's talking about road, road, hacky guys, but cruise ships, cruise ship comics is a whole nother universe of comedy. Yeah. Those guys have an hour, hour and a half,

and they've been doing that same hour polishing the fuck out of it for 20 years and they go up and they kill, they murder like nobody's ever murdered. They should do a documentary on those guys. Comics. Oh, but it's like white people dance like this black. It's like, it's all half comics. Like hatred of the settled for being a college comic until they were older or a cruise ship comic or some vice versa thing like that. Whenever people like said when you were younger in comedy, you were like kind of shit on it more because it's your fear that like, I'll end up there one day. As I get older, I'm almost like, I take, I take

comfort in the idea that it's like Buddy if the bottom falls out like you have the skill so if you lose audience and no one's blah blah blah You could go on a cruise ship make a couple grand a week a lot of comments from a couple days and just like go A lot of comments from Boston did that because they the bottom fell out. It's also leave out a Boston which is nice sometimes Because they the bottom fell off. It's also leave out a Boston which is nice sometimes They can't they can't a blast. Well, they they had tax issues because they made all that cash back in the day in the 90s and early Late 90s and stuff. They made all this cash didn't pay taxes all of a sudden the government came they would 250,000 dollars worth of taxes they went on the boats That was a big thing when we came up a A lot of those guys above us, the big hilarious motherfuckers,

well, their dream was to get on a boat. Who, like, who, when you say big hilarious guys, I'm just... Well, I, you know, I think, you know, Lenny Clark, that was Lenny Clark's dream. Lenny Clark did it. Yeah. Lenny Clark did it. I mean, Lenny was a star. Lenny was above that. Lenny had his own show. Lenny as a star. Yeah, Lenny, Lenny actually... He's like the exception of the role. Yeah, Lenny, Leary, they all left,

but the other guys that were there, like, do those guys are fucking hilarious, but they wanted to be on cruise ships, because that was the gig. You're getting $3,500 a week, you're working, whatever. Right, man, it's just, It's a nightmare that you can't talk. You have no rant, you have no rant,

you know, you have an apartment, I mean, you don't have no more gigs, you live on the boat for as long as you can. But if you're married, you're miserable because you never see your wife. You never see your wife. And then if you're single, you're not allowed to hook up with the cruise.

Literally the bummer of the entire thing. Not the crew, you can't hook up with the guests. Yes, yes. So it's like, why would you? It kind of is like, it's like you're getting, you're essentially a man, your dream, you took your dream and then you made it to become, I'm the regional manager of Stateful.

But you do get to learn a man. I'm a scuba diving. The hot spots in the end. And you get to go to Mexico for four hours. Yeah. I don't think it's going to be a keychain. I can go by a keychain. You get videos swimming with a turtle.

So there are, I don't think it's an amazing life, but isn't it great that they're like me plans and comedy? I want to see a montage of like comedians doing the turtle thing like right after watching their friends do late night Just like that like morose like How would I be how would I be if I was a if I was a cruise comic? We mean I can't fuck any of these girls You come out you'd be helicopter off the first night It would be it would be. It would not be.

We was only talking. I'd be finding it. We followed the Giz trail from the buffet. She was coming since the buffet. I didn't know she was 19. There's nothing wrong with drinks. You should have told me it was your daughter, Captain Stuban. He would have to go back to my room, have sex.

It would be 3.30 in the morning. And that's when they put on a fresh plate of case and D is way back to catering, get some fucking game. You like, it's a funny impression, but it's also 100% something you've done. I, so, yes. I, with the only crews I went on was the Joker's crews. And that's different though.

Yeah, trust me, I have friends that went on to be cruise comics and they made bread and My friend my friend who I love to death who is actually a very funny guy make me hot Lou They he he actually sent me a video of him. He's doing stand-up on ice skates One of the boats is so big. They have a big ice-kinger and they do a comedy show where you come out on ice-skate We're the microphone. What's up everybody? I think of like the end of to die for when that happens you know there's just like your your bot but it's like instead of Nicole Kimmins body it's your dream

I made her a scare over it yeah like the things like the theme one's like the burnt one or shipwreck like that shit rules yeah you know but it's it's those carnivals now I'm saying just doing Just being like the house comic on a cruise ship is But I'm saying I might you know get a good room either. No, I know a good room for sure I'm just saying but the comfort you could take is that like There are B plans to just like you know, it's all on the shit What's the there's no point in chasing the thing the road's not really booking me much more? Jay? You all right? What's the there's no point in chasing the thing the road's not really booking me much more. Jay Jay. You all right?

You're okay. It does. You're sounding like I think this career is way worse than no. I mean, yeah, so you missed the beginning of what I was saying. It's literally is like, it's fine. But if the bottom falls out, there's there's everything. It doesn't have to just be like, you know, famous celebrity. Oh, yeah, we have to go.

We have to go. Josh Edomire is everybody house of plane house of comedy in Plano, Texas, November 16th to the 19th. Bloomington, Vancouver and Phoenix. I'll come in after that. Josh Edomire's dot com for tickets. Dan St. Germain and friends happening tomorrow night. November 9th at 8 p.m. Oldman, hustle and Brooklyn. Awesome venue by the way.

As part of the New York comedy festival. I'm a rid of any Dave. Sheep Hell is going to be there tomorrow night. Oh, thank you. Yeah, everyone. Sheep Hell is coming through. Yeah, I'm Sean Donnell Dave Sheepell is gonna be there tomorrow. Thank you. Yeah, everyone The whole is coming through the Emerson Sean Donnelly and I'm pretty sure Mark Marik. Yeah my bridge and Carl Smentsia. We forgot He's doing a a drop in. Oh, yeah, he's gonna do all my jokes Robert Kelly live comm Yep, check him out. That's this weekend, right? Potstown PA. Watch out be Saturday

Yep, Baltimore the 17th and 18th. Don Yabeach, Sarah Toga Springs, Wisconsin. All following that for tickets, not today, it's Robert Kelly live.com. And I'm going to be. You're going to be at the live casino. Make sure you check out Philadelphia. And Milwaukee this week.

We'll see you guys live tomorrow. Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo