The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Devil On My Shoulder with Alice Cooper

Episode Date: October 16, 2026

Alice Cooper graces the SXM studios to promote his new memoir "Devil On My Shoulder" and he has stories. Alice has been a rock God for decades and has spent time with legends like Elvis Presley, Keith Moon, and Frank Sinatra. | Bobby gets confused and walks into the wrong studio, interrupting Al Roker's radio show. Al promptly embarrasses him and sends him away sad. | Jay reveals that Christine makes disturbing sounds when she's at the height of pleasure. | Bob once dropped his new iphone in the ocean to see if it could swim. *To hear the full show go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Cerson and Robert Kelly. Faction Talk series XM-137. It's the Bonfire. Big J. O'Cerson, the great Robert Kelly. We are joined today by an amazing guest. Probably, and I'm going to say it, my favorite guest we've ever had on the show, suck on that Jason Priestley. Wow. Wow.

That's just, that's crazy. It is the legendary great. Just to be mentioned in the same breath as Jason Priestley. 9-0-210. Classic. It is the great Alice Cooper. joining us today. Thank you. How are you, sir? Thank you for being here so much. He's here promoting his new book, Devil on My Shoulder, A Memoir. When it says a memoir, it always

sounds like it's going to be dark. Yeah, well, it is. Parts of it are, you know, because, I mean, we don't soft soap anything in this thing. We make, you make a lot of mistakes in your life. And so celebrate them because you overcame them, you know. Well, you want it to be dark, too, because if you wrote a real happy, hey, man, everything's great my whole life and I love everything. Well, it's funny because the character, Alice, that I play, and I argue through the whole book. Oh. Because, I mean, you know, because he's, I'll say something,

and he'll go, well, that's not what to happen. That's cool, man. Yeah. So, because the character, you know, is a whole different being than me. So it's kind of funny. How did you come up with the character? It was the band's name at first, right?

And then it became, and then you took it over, right? I was going to say when you first started, I watched the Super Dupor Alice Cooper documentary years ago, and that you guys dressed like in Maud, like 1950s like the suit and tie. Yeah, we were trying to be, you know, a British band from Arizona. Because everybody was in a band.

You know, you go through different periods of what you're going to look like, what this, it eventually started taking what we really were, you know, was this horror vaudeville comedy, but hard rock band. You know, starting out being a hard rock band, we wanted to be the yard birds, You know, and those were our influences, the Who and the Yardbirds. And then when we started writing our own songs, we always couldn't help from putting in West Side Story or I Spy or, you know, Dracula or something.

It just, that was our background. So we let it happen in the songs. Oh, yeah, I mean, like Bowd of Dwight Frye is such like, you know, it's just a guy talking to himself going crazy. And that guy deserved being recognized. He was the scariest thing in Dracula and Frankenstein. You know, but the thing about it was was like, you know, that was a period when you didn't know who you were going to be. You had no idea it was.

Jay's still in that period right now. I'm figuring it out. He doesn't know if it's going to be rock, rap. I'm getting it together. Yeah, lesbian. He hasn't figured it out yet. Lesbian. Well, I can see that.

Thespian or lesbian? Both. Both. If I'm going to be a lesbian, might as well act. So, you know, it's a matter of, you know, it's a matter of, you know, No, did I think when schools out was happening that at 78, I'd be touring in four bands, in four different bands? Yeah, it was it the Hollywood Vampires? Yeah, and I've got the original band, and I've got my band, my touring band, and then I have these teen centers in Phoenix, you know.

They're like a Christian nonprofit teen centers where any kid can come in and learn any instrument all free. It's all free. That's great. And they have a band, so I play with them. You never get to stop at 78 years old? No. But when you, like, because you go to church, you're sober. Oh, absolutely.

You have like a pretty clean life, but you're, but Alice Cooper does it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like the, he's my favorite rock star. Do you ever show up accidentally with Alice Cooper clothes? No, I've got that down.

Okay. But there was a period of time when I didn't know where I ended and he began. There was a very gray period, you know, and it was confusing because I was drinking and taking drugs at the same time. But when I got sober, I realized that that Alice Cooper didn't really want to leave the stage. He didn't want to play golf. He didn't want to be married. Right. You know?

Yeah, yeah. So I said, okay, I'll play Alice and I'll live this life, you know, which is an entirely different life. My wife and I are both Christian. and you know but that doesn't interfere with what Alice does on stage and it's so great because she comes out and plays a character also at the end of the show I've seen you several times

and she does the key it's me I kill her you know we just had our 50th anniversary but here's the funny thing we'll be in a Kmart somewhere in Idaho why like this and she'll be going tonight when you slit my throat make sure that the light hits the blade don't get it like this

and the guy next to his going what that's the successful marriage is that you should be able to kill your wife I kill her on only women bleed and then I go to the guillotine and she's the one that comes over

and goes die just die you know so and then it's like a play at the end everybody introduce everybody you introduce her right Alice comes back out in white top hat and tails

everything's forgiven, reborn. And who writes the songs? Is it you or is it Alice? I write for Alice. You write four Alice. Okay. Is that hard to do? Do you have to like...

No, I know him. Yeah. He's got his own boundaries. He has boundaries that he won't cross. But when I write, I'm not going to write for me. I mean, I'm a granddad, about five grandkids and coach soccer from, you know. The song would be you're late for school. Get up.

I want to write for that creature up there. Right. You know. Yeah. And so, I mean, that's really it. The separation of the two was very important. Or I would have gone insane, you know, if I didn't do that. Does your band see both sides?

Oh, yeah. Oh, here's the funny thing. You know, my guitar player and I play golf every day, right? So we're all full, Alice and the curtains down. And I'm going, hey, tomorrow we're playing Hazeltine. And 730. in the morning, curtain goes up and I'm like this, they go,

Alice. And then I come back, the curtain comes down, I go, so you leave at 7 o'clock. We have a tea time. There's that moment when you hit the stage, when you become this character and they know it, that this is a different character. I told my band when they joined, guys, when they joined for the first time, I said, look, I can guarantee you three things.

You're going to see the world. You're going to get paid. You're going to get stitches. What? Everybody in the band's got stitches at some point. I mean, the sword I use is a real sword. You get a little too close. You might take a shot.

And Nita finally got it right on the arm, and she goes, I get my stitches now. I was going to ask about her particularly. She's a musician I found through you, through seeing you live. And we've done, on the show, we've done 30-minute, like, deep dives. and there. She's amazing. She's amazing.

Captivating on stage, too, which is interesting because it's such a big production that she draws eyes on our own, too. She has her own entity on stage. She looks like a Victoria Secret model and plays like Eddie Van Halen. It's crazy. Wow. And the nicest woman ever, never a problem. Of course, there's never a problem in the band anyways. They're all best friends, you know. The whole band themselves. Oh, yeah. Everybody's best friends. How long has it been the same people? Ryan's been with me 22, 23 years. Chuck's been with me that long. If you ever beat you at golf, is he out?

No. You've never got to come close to beating me a golf. Oh, oh. There you go. But he likes to play. So that's good. Is there anything that in the book that you had to leave out that you were like, ah, I got to take this out?

Yeah, there's certain things where you go, is that going to hurt that guy's feelings? Right. And they're still alive. If they're dead, I'll, yeah, going for it. I always said I can't write the book until two or three more people die you know

but no there's nothing in there that I really that everybody doesn't know Keith Moon was insane right but he was one of my best friends and I got to witness his insanity right up front

yeah you know I came home one day from at Cheryl and I just got married when opened the door and there's Keith the moon standing there in a full French maid's outfit in a duster going I have dusty the whole house

and may I have the night off and Cheryl goes Who is this? I go oh it's the best drummer in the world It's okay And he'd come and stay for two weeks at the house And then you'd go to Harry Nilsons for two weeks He'd go to Ringoes for two

And he was great Every day though Was something You know you drive a limousine into a holiday End pool And just watch it sink That was Tuesday You know

He was amazing but he really was the best drummer I've ever heard. And you're drinking in like drugging years, you were with your wife through all that. Yeah. And was that ever, did she also like have to get sober at some point? She never got on it.

No, no. But I always say this. Our wives keep us civilized. Sure. You know. And she was the greatest thing that could happen to me. And the funny thing is, is what she was a ballerina,

90-pound ballerina that was in the nightmare show. And at the time before her, I was going out with Racheel Welsh. Really? Really? There was this battleship, you know. Wow. But I was in love with this one. Right.

And I couldn't care less about this. Every guy in the world's going, no, no, no. And I'm going, no, no, no. Well, you know. Me and my wife have our anniversary 19 years this week, and I married the bottom of the pyramid on the cheerleading squad. Oh. You never know. But you got a cheerleader, though.

I did. Tell the story, you can leave that part out. She was the bottom. She held all the other little thin ones up, but yes. Your wife, I don't know if it's the makeup with the whole costume, but she looks very young. She looks like a surprise. She's 70. To find out that that was your wife the first of myself.

Holy shit. No, she looks like she's 40. She out dances any 20-year-old. Really? She can still out-dance any of them. Yeah. And, I mean, she's the full. she's the real deal.

Is the golf helping you, like, being on stage doing all the stuff you have to do? It's not like you just sit there and... It's a total addiction. But is it help you on stage, like the exercise? No, Alice hates golf. If you put golf clubs on Alice's stage, he would think there were weapons, you know. That's how he looks at things. But that's what was the great thing.

I could go play golf in the morning, you know, have lunch with my wife, go shopping, do it, take a nap. And then that night, I get to be him for two hours. And she gets to be this cold ethel. Or she gets to be Mademoiselle Guillotine. She plays all these elegant parts, you know. But she's as much as villain as I am in the show. And you've met so much. You hung up with Frank Sinatra.

Yeah. How does that world meet? Oh, here goes, Bobby's Italian coming out. It was a really interesting thing. We had a softball team in Vegas. The Hollywood Vampire softball team. No, Albert Brooks was in it. It was great.

But we played charity games in Vegas against, you know, things like this. And there was this kid that wanted to get in. And I said, yeah, let him in, you know. Set him on the bench next to the carpenters or the monkeys or whatever it was. And that night I'm walking through the casino. And this guy says, hey, he said, yeah. He says, the boss wants to see you. I'm going, the boss.

Who's the boss? And he goes, follow me. And I go in there, Sinatra. You know, when he's sitting there, he's got this tie. He's got a martini and a cigarette, you know. And he goes, say, Coup. And I went, Coop. They give a nickname.

Yes, Mr. Sinatra. And he says, it's Frank. He said, I owe you one. And I go, for what? And he said, that kid was Jilly's son. And Jilly was his best friend. Right. He said, you let him, and you treated him like a cane, gave him the hat and everything.

He said, I owe you one. And I go, oh, Mr. Sinatra. He said, Frank. So, okay, Frank. I mean, I was just a kid wanting to get in. And he said, yeah, but you're solid. You're good. So about a year later, I get an invitation, Frank Sinatra at Hollywood Bowl.

And Bernie Topin gets one, too. Bernie is my best friend. And we both get these invitations. Okay. You know, we sit down, tap on the shoulder. boss wants to see you I could go down there there's Frank

he's standing there and he goes I'm going to do one of your songs tonight and I went what he did you and me which was a really pretty ballad and he did one of Bernie songs your song you think he did your song

and I went what? Because I mean you doesn't get better than that yeah you know Sonatra doing one of your songs culture shock too yeah but he was very I got along with those guys

guys so cool. That was, him and Dean Martin and the whole rat pack were great guys. I would ask, were you worried about meeting people you looked up to

as a kid and them not respecting your music because it was such a new thing at the time. I got to meet everybody. That was the cool thing. I got to meet for everybody from Fred Astaire

to the Beatles to Elvis to everybody. The only time I got shook up, I'm getting ready to play, hit a ball at Hillcrest. And, you know, down there, getting ready to tee off.

And somebody says, hey, Al Kalyne's behind us. And I went, in Detroit, Al Kalyne was Mickey Mantle. Okay. He was the greatest ball player, you know. And when I was a kid, he was my hero. Right. He was, I mean, my whole room was Al Keline. And it was the only time I got shook up where I went, Mr. Keline.

You know. Elvis, didn't shake you. No, Elvis was great, man. Hey, man, you're that kid with a snake, right? Which Elvis did you meet? Did you meet? Young one? or the 68 comeback.

The great Elvis story was I got a call. Elvis wants to meet you. It was about 1972. So it was Elvis, Elvis. And I got there to the Hillton Hotel. And there's three people, four people waiting there. It's Chubby Chucker, Chubby Checker, Liza Minnelly, Linda Lovelace and me. We're going to go meet Elvis in the elevator.

So we all go up. We're sitting there like this. And when he walked in the room, He was leather, black leather Elvis. Yeah. You know, he was the real deal. Yeah. You know, hey man.

You know, care with a snake, right, man. You from Detroit? I'm going to, yeah. He said, come here, I want to show you something. So I go into the kitchen with him. Just me and him. Takes out a loaded 38. Puts it in my hand.

And he says, I'm going to show you how to take a gun out of somebody's hand. With Campo karate? The little devil on my shoulder there goes, shoot him. greatest rock story of all the time. You know, and I'm going, a little angel says, yeah, shoot him, but don't kill him. Okay, just leg or something.

By the time I thought that the gun was out of my hand and I'm lying on the floor and his boo just going to say, and he says, do you want to see my most proud's possession? And I went, yeah, is it just me and him? And he goes in the bedroom,

and he closed the door and I went, wait a minute, the most prized possession. I don't know this guy, you know. And he says, he takes out an envelope, eight by 10, he pulls out these x-rays. What's this? And he goes, I was leaving the show the other night. He said, I got in the parking lot, and these three drunk cowboys want to fight me. He said, so I fought them all.

He said, broke this guy's shoulder right here. He said, I broke his ankle right down here. And I'm going, this is his most prized possession. And I realized what it was. this was his only connection with the outside world. He had no life. He couldn't go play pool. He couldn't go to a movie, couldn't go shopping.

The guys were always with him. He had no life. What a childlike behavior, though, to do is he goes, hey, come here, I'm going to rip you down and put my food on your neck. And I was like, you want to try my new ice cream machine? No, I was. He just wants to show you all this toys somehow. And to me, I was like, this is Elvis.

Whatever he wants to do, we're going to do. But I thought right then, if somebody gives you the biggest mansion in the world, and you can have anything you want in it, as much as you want forever, but you can't leave the mansion. Alice Cooper and Linda Lovelace. You will find a way to kill yourself.

You will either eat yourself to death, you'll drug yourself to death, you will sex yourself to death, whatever it is. You're not going to get out of that mansion alive. Everybody says, that's perfect condition. No, you're going to die. Michael Jackson. Yep.

same exact thing. You got another addiction into that one. It's when you have no life. Yeah. Well, you have no life. You can't just go out and do anything, but you can have anything you want. But you're recognizable to have difficulty. Like, you can just walk around all the time.

I go out all the time. I just sign it and take the picture. You can do the thing about you still get like, you're not just going to go to, you know, Kmart and have nobody say anything to you. Oh, no. But I go. Yeah. You know, when I'm home, I'm dad and granddad and I coach, we used to coach soccer. for Little League baseball, everything.

And so I'm just, you know, I'm Ozzy and Harriet at home. But on stage, I get to play him. Yeah. I'm sure if Elvis wore golf shorts and shirts and you might have been able to go outside. Yeah. Honestly, though, I felt sorry for the guy. Yeah. I went, I don't ever want to get that big.

That's prison, yeah. Yeah, because you're in prison for being that big. I guarantee you, Taylor Swift probably can't really do a lot. No. You know, Michael Jackson couldn't. You get to the point where you're so big anywhere in the world that you get recognized. Yeah, that's why I don't want to get that big in stand-up comedy. I'm just kind of keeping it low.

I don't understand. I'm not selling up because I don't want to. I want to be able to go to Target and Starbucks. You know what I mean? I know. You're going to live your life on Amazon? You got to get out there in the world. I don't want to do that because I will eat myself today.

Oh, yeah. I've tried. I've made aggressive tries, too. But you have to love, the guy was the Tennessee Hillbilly guy that did really well, and he was great. And he would, you know, something wrong with it, man. You know, he was very self-effacing. He had fun with this image, but I think he knew he had no life. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. The book is out now, right? It's going to be out now. So when this comes out, make sure you check it out, devil on my shoulder, a memoir by Alice Cooper. Is the live touring going to slow down at all, you think? Never slows down. We were in Europe twice this year. My band and then the Hollywood Vampires

with Johnny Depp and Joe Perry. We did six weeks there. I'm doing this now, and then I go right back out on tour. We do 120 shows a year. Oh, well, I'll be seeing you again, then that's great news. Yeah, you know, there's so many bands. I'm in four different bands.

I've never seen Hollywood vampires. I'd love to see. Oh, you'd love it. The band is really good. Johnny Deft's a hell of a guitar player. I know. I've watched a lot of the stuff on YouTube. Yeah, he can play. I love his cologne, Savage.

Oh, it's my favorite. Yeah, who does it? It's really good. I drink it. Not you, Alice. Alice can I say. I don't know if you saw the commercial where he plays guitar for wolves in the desert. Yeah.

That's where you knew you had to get him. Oh, believe me, we don't let them forget that. Hey, Desert Boy. Alice Cooper, thank you. so much for being here. It's an absolute pleasure. Talk to you. Yeah. Oh, Billion. Jay's getting into it. Dollar babies. Air guitar and really good. We're hung out with Alice Cooper. Yeah.

Well, I'm watching my girl Nita Strauss up here too. It makes me want to shred. Alice, he looks so good. It's insane. How old is he? 78. Jeez, man. Says he's not slowing down touring at all. 100 plus shows a year. I mean, looks good, sounds good. Stories unbelievable. Galore. The book is, I can't wait. To read it?

Well, I'm going to listen to it. But yes, I can't wait. There's no way you're reading the book. I'm going to look at it, though. It's nice. You're going to look at it. We didn't even get it signed, dude. What the fuck is wrong with us?

What's wrong with us? Why do we get it signed? I know. That's not on us. That's on us. That's on us. We can't, we can't, we can't think of that. We're all trying not to be nervous in front of Alice Cooper.

The producers jam it up our asses again. Can somebody go get them signed? Jacob. Can we get them signed? I mean, personalize. I have a lot of things I want him to say. Yeah. Jay, it was an absolute pleasure doing your show.

Jacob, you're not even listening. It's an absolute pleasure doing your show. I look forward to seeing you again. Your friend, AC. Wait a minute now. I have a couple things too. I want. Don't forget.

You have to wait for Bobby's now. Go ahead, Bobbi's now. Bobby, it's so great that you're living life the way I live my life. It's good to me in the program and put sober for life one day at a time. Tell Gary Goldman, I said hi. And also put the Lord's Prayer. Not the Lord's Prayer. Actually, do the Serenity Prayer.

Yeah, Serenity Prayer. It's probably for the best. And then put to my new best friend Bob. And then exclamation points. And then I want you to put a smile underneath. so the exclamation points. The dots of the exclamation points are the eyes of the face, Jacob.

And I want mine signed by Vincent and Alice Cooper. Both of them. And then also, if you could have him take a picture where he's biting the snake puts the makeup on. Yeah. Thank you. I don't think he's going to get any of that.

I think we're just going to get a signature. Hey, am I crazier? He suck. How did we not get the book signs? We just walked out. I don't know. I'm so nervous when it goes good. You're like, well, all I can do is fuck this up.

So let me run away as fast as possible. Yeah. Well, when the mics are off, we're good. When the mic shut off, we turned into regular Joe's. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember he told you he was really a big fan of your friend and didn't know who you were? Yep. That hurt. No, that hurt. Me too. What hurt me more is when you went, yeah, he's great friends with him. That hurt more. Yeah. That hurt even more. Well, I wanted to know that you know him also. I know what you were trying to do and it hurt more. Because he, like, he thought you were funny and he heard you were a stand-up comedian. And he said, do you know Gary Galman?

And you went, yeah, he's best friends with him. They're best friends. Therefore, you should have heard of him also. It does seem strange that you don't know his best friend if you're a big fan of Gary Garvey. Yeah, and then I panicked and brought up some of Gary's jokes. Yep. Oh, you got to test this one out. Oh, dude, you got to go hear his bit about this.

It was, man, we got to leave microphones on and then make us leave the room while the show still large. We have to get out, dude. You've got to stop. Stop turning the mics up is when we start glad hand in and we start wanting to shake hands with everybody too much. I shook his hands twice. He was over it. He was done. He was definitely over it.

Our picture, we just hugged him while he was in a chair. I think that's why we didn't want to ask about the signing because he didn't stand up for the picture, but then we got pictures with him too. But you could have brought the book over to him. He would have signed it. Somebody would have signed it.

Then all the producers took pictures with him and didn't get your books signed. What? Oh my God. God, God dang it. You guys are so happy trying to get your wall of fame fucking goose up.

Just Alice. No one helps us. Did you take a picture? with him? Yeah. You did? Yeah. Did you think to get the maybe the book signed? No, but I got my picture. Why? Why wouldn't you get the book signed? Because I wanted the picture instead. I didn't want to ask for both. This makes me sick to my stomach. Really bust my balls. It really does. And we're back in here and we forgot about it.

I think he left the building too already. Did he leave? Yeah. Well, Jacob's going to run out and get him because Jacob had his book too. So you know they're getting signed. Did Jacob pick his book over? Of course he did. He had three books. And I want to read, I want to read what he wrote to Jacob. He better, because Jacobs would be there. He's like, what do you want, any particular Jacob? He's going to make, yeah, say, you're tall inside. What you lack in regular height you make up for in spirit. It wasn't my fault about the Sebastian Manos-Cockels. Not really the program director. Yeah, he is, though.

He is, though. Jacob's just going to sign him all. Jacob's the full program director, quite honestly. Me and Bobby have nothing to do with it. We would be crazy. We were taking the brunt of it for Jacob. Yeah, we were joshing. But the way he's behaved today, not getting autographs for us,

and then prioritizing his own book and picture. Yep. Now those days are over. Yeah, so change your videos to Jacob Battott. Yeah. Just dub over Sebastian Manascalco with Jacob Battot. Jacob Atott. Maybe Jacob Battot.

It's so weird how much, how many people he's met. I mean, so many generations. Al's Cooper right now, not Sebastian. No, we're back to Alice Cooper. Like he's met generations of stars. Like, he met Salvador Dali, which is nuts. Like, who the fuck meets? I didn't even know you could meet.

I thought he was weird. Who meets him? Who? Salvatore Dali. What? No. Am I saying it wrong? What is, Salvatoree?

No, they were said. Salvador. Salvador. You're a fucking Salvador. You're a Salvador. You're a Salvabor. That's fucking correct. Salvatore

I didn't die until 1989 Yeah I know But it's such a weird That's so over here world Of course Yeah the crossovers of things he said With the Beatles And Fred Astaire

And all that stuff That's so funny that Fred Dude Because what if he didn't put that kid In the softball game What if he was like And now No get him the fuck out of here

He'd be dead He'd be dead He'd be dead That is so cool Well again also When it's like such a a different genre but when you grow up in a time

you're gonna like the stuff so it's exactly you know who was telling us that like they were hurt when they went to go who was in here that it was like they wanted to meet Neil Young oh they waited

was it ever last maybe no it was oh it might have been ever last yeah he was like waiting he's like waiting to see Neil Young and then he just like never you know then he kept saying every other day would be like yeah next tomorrow like he'll meet you tomorrow

and then they did the last day he just left My question is, is why was Frank Sinatra in a, like a caravan somewhere watching the game? Like, why was he there? He was in the box, dude. He was in what box? Up in the box of the softball field. Yeah, dude. VIP boxes.

Where was Frank Sinatra just watching from? Chairman of the board, dude. Wherever he wants to watch it from. Sitting in a limo? Like, why was he there? Like, making sure this kid was taken care of. I was picturing it was an Igloo brand chair. The boss wants to meet you.

boss wants to meet you but i'm saying like it's it's so interesting for someone who's doing like hard rock music with this like horror as he said vaudeville theme that like his because of his age it was probably such a kick for him to meet fred astaire you know what i mean where people wouldn't care you're getting your book back with nothing oh did you you got it thank god i'm going to see your handwriting first big j i knew who you were i just didn't want to be weird huge fan alice Cooper? Bobby, my pal. I didn't want to say it, but I loved you most on Torgasm. That's how I found Gary. See, that's what it is. We made him nervous and he didn't want to say this things to us. Yeah, we made him nervous. Yeah. Did he say something to you? What do he say to you? Seriously.

I just told you. What did he say? Big J, I knew who you were. I didn't want to make it weird. Yeah, I'm looking at that. There's not a, uh, there's not a minor. Big J. Yeah. I knew you were. That's not, that's a word. I didn't want to make it weird, Al's Cooper. There's not a, there's only three words on there. Follow my finger. What does it say? Big J.

Yes. Yes. What is stuff I said? I smoke too much pot. You can't remember your lives. What is it? Don't ask me to say anything three times. What does it say?

Big J. Yeah. I knew who you were. I didn't want to make it weird. I just came back to me. What does it say? You're a pal Al's Cooper. Does it say you're, oh, so you're a pal too?

I thought maybe he gave me. Big Jay, your pal, Alice Cooper. He said, he said, Bobby, my pal. My pal. Wait a second. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got my pal. Hang on a second.

Okay, I was going to say, where's my paperwork? I went on my paperwork staying there. It's all commemorative. What are he right to you? Did you get pal too? I got pal. Oh, we all got pal. Fuck.

We got Joe de rosa. I wanted to make sure that he liked us more than you. We got Joe de Rosas, we got kick him in the nuts. Oh, that's right. We should all get tattoos and say Alice's his pal. My pal. Alice's pal And then we find out

We're one of a thousand people who have that Oh, we're all Alice's pal Have you seen any videos of Hollywood vampires? I have, yeah When they go, it is so funny It's like Johnny Depp just not Still acting by the way And then just goes in fucking Keith Richards

Like there's like the Keith Richards Just like Blaze guitar really good Oh I thought it was a Oh is it Keith Richards who's in the band? No, no no I'm saying He looks like Johnny Depp like goes in acts And movies He's still doing movies where he's like

completely transforming himself. This new thing he's got coming out, he's got like a ponytail and blue eyes. Who's in the band again? Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp, Alice, Joe Perry. That might be the three big dogs of like the like it's a celebrity supergroup.

Is that Dane Cook on the drums? It's Dan Cook on D. What the fuck? It looks like Dane Cook. Who's on a longneck bass? Do they do mostly covers? I believe so, yeah. Are there any famous long neck bass guys? He really did embrace that pirate look.

He went for it. He went for it. Yeah. Johnny's singing. Oh. He's pretty good. Yeah. He's fine.

Damn. He's everything. In his mind, he was, well, the looks are going finally. Thank God. He still kind of got him a little. He still got him a little dude. Oh, no. Oh, no.

There's still an inkling of it there, but this guy was gorgeous. I mean, he was gorgeous, but he still got it. But he does look like he smells. Yeah. What year is this? This is not recent. Yeah, this is not recent. Really old.

This is old because he did put on some of that alcoholic, I drink a lot of wine face. When's this from? It's uploaded a month ago. Well, uploaded a month ago. This is not now. I don't know. Maybe he's on the old shot.

I think that's them there. I think it's them pretty close to now. Is it by, well, it's on someone else's channel. Find out when the Hollywood vampires played Montreau. I want to hurt him so bad. What does Alice do during the song? Shakes a tambourine. He plays tambourine.

Oh, right. A little tambourine. You throw it down like the cures, tambourine guy at the end, pissed off? No, look. August 13th, 2026. Yeah. It just happened.

Oh, no shit. You feel like a real asshole now, Jacob, don't you? Well, I do. I'll be honest. Jacob won't be. He'll actually deny it. Oh, wait. No.

This is why he's... He's not your pal. All right. I'm sorry. I take it back. You were right, Jake. What's up? Sorry, buddy.

That was my bad. You nailed that. That was a while ago. Why don't you keep your woman in line? Yeah. Hey, bitch, straight up. Whoa. Whoa.

You have bitch straightened up. Oh, my God. That's why she didn't get a book sign. She has an attitude today. Did you have a book? No, you have a book. Yeah, but you're not Big J. I am not Big J.

And you're definitely not his pal. But I have a picture. So do I. He didn't want to take it. Yeah, he said up mine. Nah. Yeah, huh. No, he did not.

Yes, he did. He stood up for your photo? I don't like that. No. He stood up for yours too? Yeah, but it's not a big... He didn't stand up for the photo picture with the people? I think we asked when he was already up.

He stood up for you, Lou? He stood up for me, and I got to tell you, I thought he was D. Snyder until I saw him. I didn't know who he was. That's fucked up. That's crazy. I kept asking what band he was in. And if he would have lied, he would have been like,

I played with Rob Zombie on a tour last year, and you'd be like, oh, I fell asleep during that. The whole thing? I had no idea. I heard it was good. You opened for him? I heard it was fantastic. I must be bad. I had a hamburger and fries and passed out.

He had to go to the medical tent and tell him he has theitis. I don't know what it is. I think I got theitis or something. How do you fall asleep during a rock concert? During a Rob Zombie show. It's the loudest things happening. Yeah, T.J. Miller went to another planet. I mean, the only person I ever saw besides fall asleep at a, at a,

loud rock show was months from dying Ralphie Mae No, Ann Lewis and Dave at Slipknot. That was full on inebriation though. It's no fucking fell asleep at Slipknot. It's crazy, but Slipknot. Standing up? Now sitting.

Are you sitting? Just as fucking pass down their fucking chairs. Both of them. Did you a photo of that? There's a nine-member band? No, I mean, this is... No, I don't think there was camera phones. Like a Blackberry? I mean, yeah, there were camera phones. but it wasn't like a good camera. Actually, I also threw my phone overboard in 2016,

so it would have been on that phone. I've done it. I've thrown the phone in some water. I've been known. I dove for it. You did it to prove a point to Christine when she lost hers. The argument was,

Christine, isn't it a shame they can't find the phone because they're waterproof now? This was crazy. Yeah. It's still one of the crazy things that ever been a part of. What? Me throwing my phone in the water?

You know, be diving after you? your phone. Like an asshole. I don't know why I... No, all of it was crazy. Christine throwing her phone off the boat by accident is hilarious and sucked. But then Bobby's saying, it's a shame they couldn't fight. I thought he was just fucking with her by going, like, they're waterproof now, so it'd be fine.

And we were all like, it wouldn't be fine. And he goes, sure it was. These phones are waterproof now. And he goes, watch, I'll film you underwater. So he filmed me doing an underwater flip. We all laughed at how fat I was. And then mercifully, when I came up, he was like, Bobby's water. resistant it's definitely not waterproof and he goes it's waterproof and then Nate of all people I couldn't

tell you another memory of Nate on that entire cruise I forget he's there except for the fact that he was he was had his arms on a boogie board and he went why don't you put your money where your mouth is and then Bobby just went oops like sarcastically dropped his phone in the water Christine Doe for it like there was a contest and she came up and Bobby's phone was immediately destroyed Oh, yeah, you had it rice after that. It was like a whole fucking thing. Oh, they had to go get a, they had to cut open a fucking sack of rice in the fucking kitchen. Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking cruise rice. You know it comes in a big burlap sack? I read the wrong article. I think I was reading about a Samsung. I read the wrong one. It was really, uh. It was water resisting.

It was not salt water in the ocean, Bobby. Everything about this was crazy. They meant in the rain. Yeah. The rain. I don't know a shallow children's pool if you have it in your pants when you slip and slide these are all things I think it will survive Certainly not you're going oops and sarcastically spiking it into the ocean Oh shit you'd have it down there for longer if Christine didn't dive like a dolphin yeah

Christine had the reflexes of the gazelle Yeah, she just couldn't she didn't want to see another person's community she was like we only got seven more phones in our friend group before we're stranded on this island Guys, we're not going to have any contact to the fucking to the mainland. Oh, shit. I just wish I trusted the cloud back then. Oh, to cloud your stuff? Yeah. I wish that rice thing worked.

Wouldn't that been great? I remember one point two, you did enough rice. And Bobby got it, and then he did the thing. It turned on for him once. And then he came over to us, and he goes, guess what, assholes? And he thought, by the way, he'd also be like, he would be acting at this point. His point to prove was I'll throw it in the ocean and then through a series of two days of soaking it in rice It'll be fine. That wasn't what he was trying to prove

But he comes out at one point and I got it working and he goes he goes hey assholes got the phone working again. We go really? He goes yeah, it's working again And we go no shit and he pulls his phone out and like touches the button and it goes like bing-p-p-ponged It's like does like the screened like broken technically working There's electricity going through it. Yeah, there's something happening. Yeah If your grandfather died and then he came back and went, he's alive. He's alive again. He's alive. He's not dead. There's still hope there. It's a miracle. Yeah, but it's just that your phone was brain dead at that point, though.

Oh, he was in the ICU. It was up to you to pull the plug, dude. It would be unmerciful. You just keep it hooked up by wires to a laptop so you can see what comes through it still. I'm not getting rid of this phone. I'm not giving up on this thing, man. One point where they had a guy, you got to let it go, Bob. You got a lot, dude. Your phone's like Terry Shivo. is laying there as a vegetable. That's the word. Have you, like, there's times.

Hey, phone. Hey, phone, it's me, Bob. If you could hear me, they said it talking that you might do good. Beep, bo, pap. I just want you to know, it's okay, I got enough money for a new phone. You can let go now.

Bees. You can let go. It's okay. It's okay. You can let go now. It's go off into the great, yes. Sleep well, sweet prince.

Bye, buddy. Bye. Goodbye all my weiner pictures. Bye, dude. With the eyes down. Did you ever see where like those people actually, they do come back though? Like we went through that with my stepdad. Like he was on life support and they came in and they're like, you got to make a decision to my mom. But she kept watching all these videos of people who were in the same thing and they just came back.

like they just one day started breathing and there are these moments where people are dead on that life support and they come back haven't people woken up in a casket before

or in like the morgue? I don't know if that's real I don't know if that's real I feel like I've read that somewhere that that's happened Yeah I've seen I saw a video last week With somebody was in the funeral home In the funeral home

and the person was sitting there and the person just sat up And they go who suit is this That's the one we bought you to die They do have, what's weird, is in the morgue, bodies move. Like, bodies will, they're dead and they'll actually start. That's like gas stuff and everything. Yeah, but have you seen how fucked up it is?

No, no, no, no. These things will start, like, jerking up and down. Because I watched the whole video on it. Didn't they say Anne Haste just sat up in the morgue or something? No, she was coming up. They had her on the stretcher, and the helicopter was shooting the video from the air. And all of a sudden she just, she got up. Like, in a body bag.

And they pushed her back down and just shoved her in the thing and said she's dead. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. It's nuts. They're putting her in the back of the ambulance. They're taking her around the side of the fire truck. You got her head covered, right? She's covered.

She's in a body bag. She's in a body bag. Now watch this. She just gets it open and gets up naked. And they stick her in the truck. This can't be real. Buddy, that's real. Buddy, she gets up and rips the body bag, zip her open.

Dude, she's covered. Watch this. They think it's all Ellen and Epstein. She rips the bag open and goes, hey, what's going on? And they just push her in the truck. Get in there. And she's dead. You're like, shh.

Yeah, you didn't, no. It's okay. Did they say she died in the hospital then? So they put. No, I thought she was dead there. I thought she died at the scene. They had her cut. Dude, the zipper was up over her face.

She was dead at the scene. But then what is that? That's her going. That's her going. That's a death rattle, dude. It's gas. I don't know if that's death rattle, dude. She over the zipper.

It's just gas escaping. Bobby, they're making you on zipper stuff. There is a thing there is a thing they have in the morgue. They have a bunch of collage of videos of bodies just flipping out in the morgue, but that's not that's not that. She goes, what? That happens

sometimes sometimes just gas in the body and someone wakes up and threads a needle. Yeah. She woke up and went, what's going on? She died in the car accident and she was kept alive to harvest her organs. Yeah, well. She was kept alive for three days to harvest. but she got up she opened a zipper on August 11th the day she died she was brain dead but she got up she's like my phone

she's on the fritz she's alive but they put her in rice for four days yeah it says they they rushed her to the hospital in critical condition but she never regained consciousness but what the fuck was that yeah what do you mean what was that dude death rattle gas no that wasn't gas dude you don't open a zipper with your hands guys you've never heard a story of someone is having a little bit of gas and sitting up and screaming please don't please don't you've never heard that how did your guys have what do you guys just fart yeah that's that's crazy but the stuff the stuff she was speeding like a lunatic right yeah she's crazy yeah something happened to her she she she went nuts and then she's been going nuts though for a

a long time, right? Yeah, after the breakup, she started going nuts, but she was a huge star for a minute. She was like, I'm not a lesbian? What the fuck have I been doing? I'm not a lesbian. I'm too fast and too furious. What is that? Look, it's so many different, it's all the same exact video of her unzipping the body

bag and trying to, and they're just like, no, you guys didn't see that. That's fine. You know, they tried to do this to Bill Pullman. They tried to bury him alive. But he said, don't bury me. I'm not dead. A little film called Serpent the Rainbow. Bill Pullman.

Wow. He had a voodoo thing on it. Yeah, that was a hit movie. And a commercial was big. Everybody remembers that film. Everybody remembers the commercial. No, everybody. He says at the end of it, don't bury me.

Yeah, the Serpent in the Rainbow is right up there was... I've given Christine a lot of time to get this reference on the screen for me. The Godfather. I said all the things, Serp in the Rainbow. Remember the commercial, but nobody watched the movie. Serpent in the rainbow. I never watched the movie. Nobody watched the movie.

Everyone remembers a commercial when Bill Pullman says, don't bury me. I'm not dead. Yeah. Well, I don't know if everybody remembers it, but you do, and that's what counts. Everybody remembers this. Nobody remembers this. And this movie sucked, and I saw it.

Oh, because Wes Craven made it. Yeah, I don't care. This was not his good one. The West Craven. Yeah, it's not a good one. You can just skip to the end where he tells you to not bury him because he's not dead. Wow, this movie died. Yeah

Oh That was a great reference That was a really great reference guys Now that we see it I see that was great I mean it was crazy Do you remember when all movies had the same guy Voice?

Every movie had that guy Oh exactly yeah Jean-Claude Van Dam Watch a new Merrill Street As she plays Silkwood Yeah they had a they had a narrator From movie trailers That was a what you call it's whole career

Papa Francisco's whole career was doing the impression of that. In a world. In a world. Bring up death rolls in the morgue. I want to show Jay, the people, the body's fucking flipping out in the morgue. It's crazy. Really?

I wouldn't, yeah. I mean, you probably get used to it in the morgue after the first time. I wouldn't. I might not either, do it. No, in fact, I would have to have one of those things that you, you know the things they kill cows with that shoots a bolt in the middle of their head. I would do that to every body that comes in. Just double-checking.

Look at the feet. What's this? The Lazarus phenomenon. Oh! Look at the... That just stood up. The corpse just stood up. And gas.

And also gas, guys. Yeah. It stops happening when the gas is gone. He's not really mentioning the gas, but it's gas. She's a kick of her leg. She unzipped her back. Yeah, but the one actually sits the fuck up.

Imagine being in the morgue and the body just sits up. No, I don't want to imagine that. Look at that. Imagine if that happened, what would you do? Leave. Oh, yeah, you don't, you change your occupation. I'd abandon my post. I'm never going into that haunted room again.

Fuck that. You can't tell me anything, but it's people coming back from the dead. But what if that person is coming back and you just, just, you could revive them. You had a couple minutes to get them back to life. Because I'm already left town. Are you gone? These are like movie scenes, by the way. No, these are real, these are real footage.

Why is the best, it's the best security footage I've ever seen in my life. We have the best security footage cameras ever in morgues. Man, would you, I mean, hats off to that woman who's just got a dead body two feet from her going about her paperwork. I know, right. I mean, who can do, you have to be a special kind of person. You're not connected to anything. Your heart is just dead. I'm not in that room.

I would never. Can you do paperwork, Jay? With the body, a foot and a half from you? I don't think so. Especially when the paperwork is going to be like there's a two-foot laceration from her thorax to her whatever. It's like already gross what you're doing and being a part of and then it starts moving. No, wait. Who takes?

Anyone who takes these jobs is a crazy person. Is a fucking weirdo. Yeah. Unless, and if you're, and if they go, oh, well, it was a family business, so I kind of like, I grew up in it. So that's why I do it. Yes, your parents made you a weirdo now. And now you're the mortician person. There's no one who does this that I bet. I've never met a, I don't think I've ever met a mortician, but I would have to assume. We had a, you might get used to it, though. You might, once you understand. Why do you want to get used to that? I'm just saying that you might get used to it. And like, we get used to drunks in the front row and people yelling at us and heckling us. Right. They might get used to. get used to just a body sitting up that's been dead for two days. Listen, eventually we would get fucking, we would get used to

boogie men if they were everywhere, but they're not. You know what I mean? You're still afraid of it because it's not real. What is a boogeyman? You know, boogeymen. That's more than one boogie man. Oh, Snoopy Lamont. That's my boogeyman. It's called boogeyman. I remember we

had that... Saul boogeyman. A listener call in that was the cremated the body. Look at that one. That one, the guy actually just gets up. I mean, that's nuts. Yeah, that's fake. She's a mortician?

Exactly. Look how weird that is. I think that was born a guy. And if it's not, it should be. And if she wanted to transition to a guy, it would do great. Because I believe she is a haircut and no glasses away from being Mateo Lane. Throw a mustache on that chick. That's compliment.

It's a compliment. Absolutely. Is that her before? No. I don't know how things work. I don't know how these surgeries work. Yeah, I don't even want to hear her talk about it ever again. That was, she looked like a mortician, though.

Yeah. That's crazy. That is a crazy job. It's always fucking weird. And they have to, like, they have to take the stuff out of the body, drain the fluids. Yes. And then they have, my mother wanted to be a hair, hair cutter for dead bodies. That's psychotic.

Well, she wanted to do it because they don't talk back and she's just going to do their hair and take off. And it's great money. Well, that tells me she's terrible at cutting hair. She's terrible. She must be awful at it because she doesn't want feedback. She only does old ladies. She goes, I only do those on the verge of or after death. Yeah.

I don't want any kind of feedback at all. She's not terrible, but she's good at old lady do's. But she can't do like, she used to do hot, cut my hair. And my bangs were always at an angle. She used to do angle bangs. On purpose? No, she just didn't know what the fuck she was doing and sent me to school. I have a photo of me.

I look like I have Down syndrome, my hair. Really? It's parted down the middle, and then my bangs just go, at an angle this way. Oh, yeah. And she sent me to school for photos. That does look handicapped. Yeah, it's crazy.

That does look handicapped for sure. What a show. What a fucking show with Alice Cooper so far? Yeah, he was a sweet guy, man. Before the show, you thought you were going to be able to just willy-nilly walk into what you consider to be our studio and put your things down. Oh, God. This isn't always our studio.

Well, here's the thing. There was a lot of, can I just say this? There's a lot of confusion going on this morning because we had to come in for Alice Cooper. I was told we have to come in at one. Yes. When we were leaving yesterday. Well, you weren't to do what we had to. We decided we decided to come in one and I was like, okay, so I had a cancel therapy. I was like, I don't care. I'll cancel therapy. I'll move it. The show comes first before my mental health. And I think I'm better when I don't go to the therapy. Yeah. I'm less connected to empathy and my heart and the human race. Absolutely. And I can come in here and perform better.

You just want to chop down. Yeah. I can try. Stop down. Yeah, you don't have to go through the chronicles of Lil Spiff. Right. So I got a bone to pick with you, too, by the way. I'll get to that in a second. Yeah? Yeah, I do.

Why? I'll get to it. Don't get scared. It's not that bad. Not scared? I don't even care. Yeah, it was 1 o'clock, and then it was 1.30. When did that happen?

That happened in the text message that it's 130. As I'm on the sawmill coming down here. Yeah, what happened? Christine wasn't there. when me you and Jacob had the thing in the hallway. Was it me and you and Jacob? Me and Lou? It was me you and Jacob.

I thought you could. I thought you had changed to Zoom therapy and you couldn't do the 1 o'clock. No. I said I could change the Zoom. I could can't. I could do whatever you want. Bobby, this isn't our fault at all.

Yeah. This falls on one person. Jacob. Okay. When we decided it was going to be one, should it make sure that was conveyed to everybody. Well, Christine just raised her hand. What?

That's my fault. You were in the bathroom. This whole thing was my fault I asked I like made sure everybody could do it I made sure we had it I made sure that we Everything was set up but then I didn't send like a big like This is a hundred percent confirmed and this is the plan So then yesterday when I sent it out it was just like totally on me

I didn't like Jacob did the producers text and It wasn't your it wasn't your fault there And you didn't fucking say the other thing earlier about you're right about the Hollywood Vampires performance being old You're two for two today And I don't like it. Enjoy it, Jacob. Enjoy it while you can.

Yeah. Because I'm going to hammer you the first mistake you make. Because now I got two mistakes backlogged that you didn't make. And then when we got here, I was like, okay, I'm just going to, I literally said I'm going to put my stuff in the thing. And I just walked to our studio to put my bags in here. But. Okay. If I could say a little.

Okay. We were informed multiple times that we don't. don't have our studio until this time and that we were going to be doing Bennington Studio until Alice Cooper and then Alice Cooper where he's doing it. I was told one time by Lou, Lewis said, hey, I'll be in Bennington Studio if you want to come hang out. That's what you said. Correct.

Not we are in Bennington Studio. We don't have our studio. If we would have went at 1 o'clock like we said, we would have been in Bennington Studio. Right. So that's what we had from 1 o'clock till 140. Well, I heard, hey, just come hang out in here if you want. That's what I heard.

So I was like, we're going in. I'm just going to, I go, I'm going to put my bag down. And then as I turn the corner, Christine's like, Bobby. And I go, yeah. And I'm walking. We got to, we got minutes. We got to go do this thing. I got to get my bag in there.

I got to put my stuff away. Bobby, Bob. And I just was like, yeah. And I walked right into the studio, our studio. Yeah, as I turn the corner, I'm seeing Bobby standing there with a door open. I mean, she could have put a little hustle in that. Sure. knowing that I'm going down the way to our studio,

a little hustle could have been... That's why I ran after you. You didn't run. I ran. There's no way you ran. Look at me. Look at me. Did you run or did you...

I heal run. You heal? Bobby. Like I ran after you. Bobby. She scurried. She scurried. She scurried.

Like a 50 secretary. Bobby. I like when you do that. I would... But if you see me going into another live show, you might want to run. Put a little heat on that. you might I just thought you walked down the hallway

I don't you know if you just knew there was a live show going on here at the moment but I just knew we couldn't be in here well I walked into a live full room of people by the way full room and Al Roker and I walked in and the whole show

stopped and stared at me the way we stared at people who walked into our studio and he goes excuse me son who the fuck of you basically in an Al Roker way get your ass out my

fucking studio. Is that Al Roker? I literally just panicked. I went, Al! I love you. Did you really? I panicked. You said Al, I love you?

I didn't know I was going to see Al Roker. I saw a bunch of people I didn't know. You don't love him? Then Al wrote, well, yeah, you do. When you walk in on a show, you do. So now, by the way, I just want you to know, when you say Al, I love you, it sounds like you're a lunatic who got into the studio. Instead of just going like, I'm so sorry, guys.

I didn't mean, it's wrong studio. Sorry. Yep, I didn't do that. That's what you do. I went, Al, I love you. It sounds like you've gotten in. And then he went, wait a minute, wait a, and then he kind of brought me back in. What do you, what are you doing?

And I was like, we're here after. I went in, I messed up the wrong time. I apologize. He goes, you know what I have? I go, what? He goes, a watch, get one. Nuh. He old-schooled smash me.

You for sure he said that? Yeah, I have a watch, get one. Did I Roker say that? Yeah, he did say that. Swear to God. Where would I come up with that? Well, you're a watch guy. I am a watch guy.

Seems like it's a line that watch guys like to say. It does your watch, get one. As we said, he goes, I have a watch. He goes, you know what I have? I go what? He goes, a watch, get one. And I went, okay, bye. Damn, do you get chump by fucking Al Roker with those jowls?

I got smashed by Al Roker. Everyone loves Al Roker. America's dad. He's off the rails. It wouldn't have happened. And this is before I have to go in and do an interview with Alice Cooper. My show esteem, which I've been building since the sawmill, I had it ready to go.

My walk was confident. I'm going to put my bag down, go meet Jay in the hall. Let's get this done. Sucked out of me. Gone. Sucked. You know what I have?

I can't believe you just sit there and let him give it to you like that. What am I going to do, dude? What am I going to say to Al Roker? Suck my dick? Well, that's, that didn't know. How am I going to say that? I would have walked in.

I would have been like, I'm so sorry, guys. And I'm going to be like, what do you? I go, we're in our studio here after this. So sorry. All right, let me be out and you be you. Ready? Come in, break in. Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry.

Who are you? Wait, wait a minute now. Who are you? We have a show in here afterwards, so I thought, I'm so sorry. You know what I have? What? A watch. Get one. I want you suck my fucking dick. That was really good. I know what you would have done. Put your hand on your chest.

Be like, my apologies, Al. My father. That's why it hurts so much when he would have hit me with the line after I've done the humble chest hand apologies. I did say I love you, Al. You said, I love you. And then he goes, well, you're a dumb piece of shit. Get out of here. You got chumped by Al.

I don't like that at all. I want revenge. I got chumped by Al. And here's the thing, Jay. I didn't need to get chumped by Al if Christine just put a little hustle into it. You're blaming the wrong person because you feel humiliated about the way you've been dealt with by Al Rower. Yeah, her people, her people. Fuck her.

You are. You're putting it out. It's her fault. It's a little bit. It's your fault. What? Didn't you also tell Bobby? What? About the studio?

Yes. Okay. Wow. Yeah, yeah, when we came out of... That was... When we came out of the bathroom, we were walking, and I said that, I said, we don't have our studio until...

Then he just chose not to listen. Ma, did you see her little getting her little clan together? No, there's not... There's no clan. But she asked it in a passive... We made a simple, basic mistake that happens on this show a lot. And we always make a joke about it, we laugh.

We don't make the person feel small. After they say, hey, big fan of the show, big fan. and then he goes yeah well you're a dumb piece of shit that's what happened to you just there i didn't say of the show i said of him personally yeah i love you okay yeah and then he was like you're a dumb piece of shit in a way it's exactly what he meant by that he just doesn't say that because he always has to congratulate people on their hundredth birthday and it is my birthday too soon and you're a watch guy so that must have hurt so much more we both were fatties and we're not we're connected in so many

ways. He used to be a fatty. He was inspirational to me at one point that Al went from chubby little round Al to a little thin Al. You should have been like it's called a Rolex son. I got one. I just sunned them, dude. I almost did. I did go, I have a watch too. Oh my God. I wasn't going to tell you that part because I didn't think you needed it, but I feel like you deserve it now. That's not how you show. You go, nice watch, didn't you? But he went, I have one too. That's not going, that's not doing this, Bobby. That's not going like, oh. I already got one, check it. Yep.

That's what you do. Yeah. You don't go, Jiminy Christmas, I have one. What do you mean? This isn't even really a watch issue. I told you. It's a mistake. I have first and sixth gear.

I don't have the second and third gear to be able to do that, Jay. Well, you should have got the sixth quicker. Well, you know what? You fucking stayed in first gear while a fucking Al Roker pummeled you. Well, one more. A goddamn weatherman. Oh, shit. He is a weatherman.

He's not even. He just reads the weather from everywhere. A real weatherman. is local and does the fucking work and finds out what's going on local he just goes it's going to be raining in the middle of the country storms down south it seems and uh some old bitch just turned a hundred you know he's not a good guy damn now we know he would get me too if he wasn't bisexual is bisexual i don't know none of that is true none of that's allegedly that's allegedly from jay i don't know if any of that's true i'm just making up as i go along what watch do you have on today bobby i have the skydweller

Jubilee brazen with a fluted bezel. The blackface. Second hardest watch to get. Why don't you use it? Huh? Wow! I'm piling on. Wow.

You're not fighting back. I need to get you. Where's that sixth gear, dude? It's fucking crazy what's happening. It's not summer. It's fall. I go into first gear during fall and Christmas. Summer's over.

Now you're back to work. You're angry now. Now you're fucking back out there. It's not six-gear summer. I'm six-gear summer. Why? You're with your family. That's when you're calm.

It's when you're excited. I messed up. First of all, I didn't know. This isn't Bobby. I used to, Bobby would fucking. This guy put Kevin Brennan up against a wall. It was only a couple of years ago. I've seen this guy.

This guy didn't take no shit. Okay. Well, if you want that guy around, you can have it. I want that guy when Al Roker starts popping shit to you. Yeah, well, maybe. Not when I don't run fast enough. Well, maybe if you abroad had a couple, a little. little speed in her I wouldn't have fell apart for an Al Roker how's that the wrong thing

why don't you get you broad and check you absolutely how's that not go you're going back to you're going to Boston soon for last Boston yeah I am that's gonna be you can't go back there with them they find out that Roker fucking chumped your ass for two reasons I can't go back there with Roker what happened with Roker uh well they did leave uh something behind yeah Well, Al Roker, as you know, if you listen to his show, he is off the rails with Al Roker. Whose phone's going off? Oh, really? Oh, wow.

Well, it's me. It's all me. No, it's not you, but you really didn't show that watching a cool way at all. Jimmy's Christmas, I have one, too. Jeepers, creepers. I didn't see Jiminy Christmas. I said, I have one, too.