The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dexter Sings (feat. Kerryn Feehan)

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Kerryn Feehan and the gang discover the music of Michael C. Hall and also rate the nudes sent in by campers!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. O'Kersen. We're actually a full radio show on Sirius XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Sirius XM app. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kersen and Robert Kelly.

Oh, man, I can't wait to watch this shortened with elements of la-i-sla-bo-nits mixed into it. I can't wait until they're singing this at her funeral because she saw a ray of light. Bobby, you hate Madonna. I'm not a fan. Oh, I love her. I mean, like... Of course you do. You have a Jaina.

Original girl. You have a Jaina? Was that what you called them? Jaina? No, she has a vagina. That's why she loves them Of course everybody. Everyone loves Madonna And also everybody loves Karen Feehan everybody She's here with us She's gonna be a comedy key west

January 31st to February 3rd Fun Club After that she's gonna be in Baltimore, Atlantic City And Denver follow her at Karen Feehan K-E-R-R-Y-N Feehan for tickets So funny. One of the funniest.

Hey guys. Hey. Hey. Oh hey, you came on a very exciting, it's Madonna Day. I'm jealous. Don't be. You're gonna have so much fun. Because she has to play some of the class.

She's not playing any of it. It's all over a fucking speaker. We went through the set list. We got the set list and we went through it and it's missing a lot. Like no border, any borderline? No borderline. Um, what about Lucky Star? Nope.

What about, um, uh, who's that girl? Nope. Um. Nope. By the way, you just named- She's playing some of my Jackson songs though. You just named three of my favorites. Those are my, like, borderline, one of my favorite mononots.

We played it. I actually like that song. That's not a bad song. What's the other one? She's playing that stupid song from that stupid movie from Sean Penn. Oh. Argentina stinks.

She is doing Argentina. Argentina stinks. Livetel's great. Livetel's good. It's not great. It is if you're a beaten woman, Bobby. Yeah. It stinks.

Livetel's good. Argentina. Wait, what about this? This used to be my playground? No, thank God not that. What is that? She's like, she's talking about her face. She's pointing at her ass.

This is my surgeon's playground. Oh man. No, you're gonna have fun. That's watching like living sculpture art too. That's like an experiment. That's a human experiment. It's a human Videos you watch on YouTube that's like a living corpse just dancing around. I bet she has strings like a marionette Yeah, it doesn't look good. I bet they drop her in yeah, it's gonna be hot

This is around 14 gay guys controlling her arms and legs It's just Tim Burton with one remote control She really does look like a Tim Burton fucking marionette. She's made like a mostly space materials. She vows and body parts fly off her. That's not a dress she's wearing. That's actually her new skin. By the way, any song, any other song that you named that she is playing? The answer will be Elements of. Okay.

That's a medley, because she can't get through the whole song because of her knees and her hips. They're made of metal. Yeah. Papa Don't Preach, her dad died 45 years ago of natural causes. Papa Don't Preach is a great song. Not in there. I even liked when Kelly Osborn covered Papa Don't Preach.

I liked it. I actually liked it better Kelly Osborne. Yeah, yeah, but you deserve Madonna hater. Yeah, I just don't yeah, I'm not a fan I'm not I like Massachusetts. She's from Michigan. I get it. That's not true battles I don't care about that. It's that she's I don't like her. She's kind of just a goofy diva Egotistical become she's lived long enough to become a character of herself That's a good one how's it go I like that song oh elements maybe some elements do want to hear she's doing a variation of the song she's doing express yourself okay acoustic yeah her Nino Betancourt are gonna work this out express your self hey hey hey hey So if you'd like it right now, let me show you

Are all of her adopted kids up there dancing? I hope so dude just an African choir like Coldplay. These are all my kids I hope so dude just an African choir like Coldplay. These are all my kids She really does have a lot of African babies. Oh, they all have mohawks and wear makeup too young She like doesn't remember she's mic'd up backstage. She's like blue ivy is so much better than you Beyonce's kids are so much better. You know shit. You don't get mad ex You know you know the one of the parents tried to get their kids back They were like we want our child and she was like no you can't have him like sorry umboots who lives with me yeah I need his adrenochrome exactly yeah her ass is filled with African baby fat

it's full of clits it's clit force games just gay guy jizz and clits. It's going to be a spectacle. It's going to suck. It's going to be a spectacle. Well, listen, speaking of music, it does suck. I do like, would like to cover this too. I think Karen will be fun to do.

Did you watch Dexter when it was on? Yeah, a little bit. I love Dexter. I love that actor. I think he's awesome. I like the Dexter, like the reboot they did, where they continued the story was great. I've seen him interviewed when that new season at Dexter came out. I watched more interviews with him, so I was excited for it. And he seems, even though he had and beat cancer, even when he's talking about that,

sounds like the most unpleasant person you'd ever want to talk to. Like he sucks and takes himself really seriously and then someone our fans Showed us this weekend in Denver. He's like, I can't believe they ever talked about this. He has music He's in a band, but it's like It's so it's like it's EDM slash like screechy It's music for guys the fuck guys to know that for sure 100% that I'll be judging that princess goes to the butterfly museum What is their name come talk to me? I'm professional music to fuck guys to guy

This is why yeah, this is really blew my mind when I saw this I go I can't believe he's doing this and meaning it This is like I was dexter or during dexter? I think it's current and at the same time. Was six feet under before Dexter? Yes. Yeah. This came out three years ago. Okay. So this is current. Now he quit Dexter because he got cancer, correct? And then he went back after he beat it. Okay. And he was banging his sister. Okay. Well, his TV sister. This is TV sister. Which is still his sister in my brain which and I'll say I hope to God We never interview her because I will say how many things they've tried the jam Jennifer Carpenter in to make her like the Attractive person has never made sense to me. She's too thin

No, she's got a bit of a you know a lot of real estate top of the head the chin But she's real thin, real too thin. I just find her, yeah, her thing was never just like, very dudeish, like to me, tomboyish. She's not ugly or anything. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying they've tried to make her like the... Well, when she had a little weight on her, she looked good, but then she got too gaunt and then she started to look like something from Lord of the Rings.

It looks like they gave her China's old chin. Yeah, and Fredo's ears. Look at those fucking wings whipping out. She's doing just fine. Yeah she's fine. Let's watch this. But this is yeah. Michael C Hall. Michael C Hall. And he means this. Wait a minute. He's got a cut on his face. No. Makeup. This is not real. I didn't think it was either. I was like even though minute, he's got a cut on his face. No, it's makeup. Makeup. This is not real. I didn't think it was either. I was like, even though I know he's probably

a weird artsy guy. Wait a minute, guy, this is not real. It is. It's not real. This is absolutely real. Look at that puppet. Is he singing? Yes.

It's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's fucking great. Is he singing? Yes. I would spend I would spend seven hours watching this instead of going to Madonna Look at he's got them. He's got both those puppets. There's elements of Madonna Yeah, actually that puppet is Madonna tonight. He's doing Madonna The song must be come talk to me and he's Princess Goes to the Butterfly. Okay, can I just tell people listening? Cause he's, he pulled it back. He's singing this.

They pulled back. He has weird makeup on his face like he's in Road Warrior. And then he has a brunette puppet in one hand and a blonde puppet in the other. And they're singing to each other. The name of the band is princess in the butterfly museum A little aren't we all a little wordy?

That's true Are we all just princesses in the butterfly museum? I wake up every morning. I have a king-size bed. I don't know about you guys I'm just a princess in the butter-pickin' cheat angels. Either that or you fucking kill yourself. That's all there is, butterflies, day after day. Uh, when do you start, he starts really letting go in this one. Oh no.

Look at it. So the blonde is the- He makes it seem like he's sonomizing those puppets. Sorry for interrupting. Wow. What does the shirt say on the puppet? He got a custom shirt for the puppet. Jesus Christ.

Are you sure? This is not a joke. This is not a dream sequence from Dexter. I have them live at the Mercury Lounge. Yes, New York City. Please, I'm so bummed we didn't go to this. I would like to see them live. Maybe it's a different show. What is that instrument called when it's a keyboard and guitar? Yeah, it's called a gay stick

Can you please pant like four middle-aged women I mean that audience does not look this. How funny would it be if we look at it just in silver? He's gonna butt his dog. Just clapping with his shirt off? Yeah, with dogs all around him. That's the best. Dogs surrounded by dogs.

Dogs right out. He's not an engaging performer, he's just standing there the whole time. Well, he does have his puppets, Christine. That's true. He doesn't have his magical puppets. Yeah, he has puppets. Power. Yeah, Christine the music speaks for itself. It really moves you.

He can't really hear him. He looks like not okay. Dude. Bring up another video of theirs. I want to to hear it I can't hear it sang on Jimmy Fallon or something like you do song I did hear that it's like Like his music it's all over the place too like some of it's like a rock song That sounds pretty rocky right that's more like it didn't sound that bad to be honest with you What if this bit turns us way into Michael C Hall music?

I'll tell you what the more I went back and from listening to this weekend and going back to that honest with you. What if this bit turns us way into Michael Seahall music? I'll tell you what, the more I went back and from listening to it this weekend and going back to that one with the puppets, I was kinda, I wasn't not moving to it. I mean, it's catchy. It's almost like it sounds like what you would hear in the warmup of like a spin class. It's just jarring, it's just jarring at its dexter.

I don't know, we all got through it. 30 Seconds to Mars came out when Jared Let it was up and coming like you saw him in things And it was still even hard to accept like but you're like, oh, I don't even know him that much as an actor Like for this, you know, there's in shows. I didn't really watch now It's kind of weird that he still gets these huge movie parts and goes back and being Like the rock star guy again. I think he's a great rocks. I like 36. I don't love their music that much But he's great. I don't I love it, but I like it rock star guy again. I think he's a great rock star. I like 30 seconds to much. I don't love their music that much, but he's great. I don't love it, but I like it. And that one song.

Now you're saying for a second that you loved it. I do like that one song. Yeah, we all like that one song. It's called The Kill and the video's like The Shining. It's the one song that everybody likes, but 30 seconds tomorrow. That's why I bought the hoodie. But do you have a official live music video?

Oh, here we go. He's not singing I bet he is Unpleasant to hang out with No, you don't think he's like kind of doing some poppers and jumping on stage or whatever Yeah, I do You don't think he wants to go to like a diner after the show and get a club sandwich and some fries I don't think so no I think he wants to go to a party where like people are having sex and no one's acknowledging it

Yeah, those kind of parties. I think he wants to go to a party where everybody gets their own personal bottle of glycerin Yeah, I think he wants to go to where people are art at the party. He wants to go to a party that's in the sewers the party. He wants to go to a party that's in the sewers. He's like, take me to the tunnels. I have my take me to the ice tunnels. I don't know. Many ice tunnels. And you are not who I need to speak with. I want to

I got a little audience there. Those look like paid extras. It's very possible. They're using his iPhone to fucking produce this. Oh Man, I bet his band doesn't love oh, he has a bet he is the same listen outside First let's acknowledge this we got to say something nice about this first. Yeah, he is Four million times more at least self-aware or talented than Corey Feldman Okay, well, he's still a fantastic actor. He can't take that away from and this music is far more cohesive than

Kory, Corey, film is recorded songs sound like first takes on a fucking tape player, but Corey Feldman is going straight out singing. This guy's going through a filter. This voice is filtered through electric. This is electronic music. Yes. So he's got a fucking hand. That's not his voice.

He sang, he sung on Broadway before before I would like to hear him sing sing Oh, he was head wicking the angry inch, right? I love that fucking movie Isn't it about someone cut their wiener off cut his dick off and it and it healed back up And he's just got this little angry bump little bit. Yeah, that's a great movie the songs are great on that I never saw I know a Neil Patrick Harris played it for a while I'm gonna get that logo We should make a bet whoever loses has to get that their logo as a tattoo the logo of princess Yeah, you have to get that as the tattoo at Skagfest I'll tell you what Bobby. Yeah, I'll just get the tattoo anyway

It is you will get so much 20 year old hipster hipster pussy if you get that tattoo because what's that he goes? Yeah, it's a little band called princess and the butterfly. It's going to be as pussy. It's not going to be regular pussy. It'll be nice ass pussy. Feels the same. It does feel the same. I think I can fuck the princess in the. It's actually wetter than most of.

Oh, he's into it. Yeah, he's getting. That's his thing. That's his thing. He tells you to get up. He tells you to get it going. He goes, all right, hopefully you guys didn't commit any past crimes that you need to be killed for. Crow's really not moving.

Wow, I don't think you moved that. And this is a fake. Do we have him singing really? This is a video. No, that's an... I want to hear him. Is that him in a dress? Oh, let me hear him. Hang on, let me hear him What do you think we wanted to hear Sorry, you're doing a good job. We gotta get through this because we gotta show I promised Karen Dix It was promise I wrote that event to talk about fucking I was promised it. Yeah, um, I wrote out a bed to talk about fucking

Michael C Halls electronic music. I mean, I've already downloaded that first song in my mind I'm gonna listen to it my whole cab right on talk to me. Yeah, I think I will listen to that song again This week will you come out to it? Are you show? Yeah? In fact Christine's it's really it's it's I have an itch. It's not scratched right now Can you go back to the part where we start screaming real big? I loved it, I think. I think I love it. I feel like he takes time away from the band when he's like, guys, I need to get these lyrics down.

Like, leave me alone. Yo, yeah. They're like, he's doing his lead singer. Here we go. Here we go. It's not a great recording. It's all right He's a good actor man. He's really good. He's a great actor. Christine, can you see when that band get formed? Yeah, last Tuesday.

That would make sense. I wonder if he did this, head wig the angry inch, and was like, I'm having a good time singing. Like, let's do some goofy music. Or if this is because I think we would have heard about this passion project forever. This passion, this was after cancer. This is surviving cancer. I don't care anymore. I think you got it.

I'm gonna live my dreams. I think you got it. When I get cancer. Start don't care anymore. I think you gotta live my dreams I think you got it when I got a man at 55 years old who gives a shit if I get cancer and I survive I'm starting a band too. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just gonna tell people I survived cancer and start a band Oh, is it funny that I survived cancer and now I want to live out my dreams He used to sing on six feet under two he was in the gay choir, right Where we all back to the first song, please? We are all dying to hear it again. Christine's infatuated with this.

She loves theater. She's getting ready for Madonna. No, she's so ready for Madonna. I guarantee it's good. You're gonna be very disappointed. Who's opening for Madonna these days? A guy named Bob the Drag Queen. Oh, yeah.

Hey. Sure, sure. And Bob the drag queen? Oh, yeah And Bob the drag queen is gonna lip sing some of these songs that she will not be playing that's good. That's That sucks worse than just listening to them Cuz then you get them. Yeah, she's not doing that drag show and hear a bunch of quips and dirty jokes Yeah, I go second. I guess I could listen to those songs alone or I could have a fat guy in a dress yell at me. I heard certain people. Madonna's coming up soon. Here's my dick. Hey honey.

Hey honey. What are you looking at? You want to see me sing? Express yourself honey. Honey. This is how women talk, right? Moistress. I'll show you some foreskin material girl.

Hey, hey chubby with the red hoodie and the red boots. I'm talking to you. Hey chubby with the red hoodie and the red boots. I'm talking to you. Hey chubby with the red hoodie and the dyke next to you. Who's the fag hag? She put fingers in the button. Oh, this is him just singing, singing? Oh, God. Oh, it's getting to us.

Steven Bowie on Stephen Colbert. Oh, okay. This might be good. It says the band formed in 2018. You know it. Cancer. Cancer. That's a bucket. this might be good. It says the band formed in 2018. Cancer. Cancer. That's a, uh, he'd be cancer. Yeah. I'd be cancer fucking. Minds would do it all. Turn it up. I Boo Fucking boo. He's got Broadway voice and I'll tell you what that translates much more better to I think that

Christine put my jam on I can sing that Christine, please play my jam. I'm not gonna lie. I did like that. I like it, too You like this no no the first song we heard no the butterfly in the I'd rather see that I'm using him in the middle when he does that scream noise. It's great They think he sang at Fallon to like get on the show. He's like I'm gonna do this come talk to me That was a favor Fallon's a fan of the show. Yeah, is that to me. That was a favor. Founds a fandom show. Yeah.

Is that his ex-wife? Was that Jennifer Carpenter? No. I thought so too the first time I watched the video. Is this the middle? Oh, here it is. This is the dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life. This is gay Avenue Q. This is dumb dude.

You can get down to it's own. I guess it is. It's just one movement, that wrong? It's empty. It's empty. It's empty. It's empty. You gotta put an eye patch on. It's empty. It's empty. It's empty. It's empty.

It's empty. It's empty. It's empty. It's empty. You, yeah. Yeah, you know. No, Spend the day on this. Come on, no, no, no, no. You know what? I take it back. This is in me. I like it. I like it. Oh, you just got to survive cancer once.

Once? Yeah. Oh, god. Talk to me. Talk to me. Damn it. Fuck, I like this song. Oh, it's like, leave me alone with my lyrics.

They're like, are there more than just talk to me? No, not you. Oh, I like this song. It's like, leave me alone with my lyrics. Are there more than just talk to me? No. Hey look, a couple of corner boys just hanging out. Not that everybody walks by and goes, it's fucking Dexter, dude. Look at the little puppets. They were junkies the whole time. No one knew. Look at the outside Joey Roses. Sandwich junkies.

Joe actually blew that tranny to the song. Oh, that's right. I'm curious to this one. Turn this up. This is him doing Starman. He does a lot of Bowie. He dresses like he's like an actor. Here we go.

He's just doing Bowie. He's even put on the Bowie voice. Yeah, he's doing Bowie. He sounds good. Sounds good. Sounds good, man. He'd be killing it at the comedy jam. Oh, yeah. He'd be killing at the comedy Jam He'd be a comedy Jam legend

Then Josh would say it was his homey for life and post a picture every time Hey, did you guys hear my homey Michael C Halls got a new play out? No, I'm telling you he didn't ask me to tell you. I'm just involving myself Actually made a puppet in my like this I'm good-looking. I'm cute. I'm just involving myself. I actually made a puppet in my likeness. I'm gonna win them over because I'm good looking, I'm cute, I'm funny, I'm talented. Me and Michael save Skankfest again. And this year I'm bringing Dexter. We're committing murders up here on stage and who's gonna do them? This is terrible.

We don't have that much talent. We have to show Karen Dix. Yeah. Go right to the pictures. Let's go right to the pictures. Karen, we are doing... We have other... And he goes, now Karen, can you tell me which one of these is Jacob? Is it the big one, the small one, or the medium, perfect one?

It's the one that says, will you go out with me, check yes or no, written on it. Is it the dick wearing earth tones and suspenders? Is it sponsored by Eddie Bauer? So our next up sent no dick. What? He said, I do not want to make the series studio a slick with perspiration. So for now the clothes stay on. Oh, okay. Hold on, I do not want to make the series studio slick with perspiration. So for now, the close stay on.

Oh, OK. Well, I see. Hold on. I might have sent an update. If you tell me who. Well, let me just. Oh, did you demand dick? We did actually.

Oh, wait a minute. That is, that's a military man right there. We also have naked women that send in things, trying to make some spokesmanals too. I wish I wore my glasses. Yeah, tomorrow, Jacob, we have to go because we have some other stuff for this. You got new-sided glasses for me? What do you got? You're going to put contacts in my eyebrows?

Oh, you're going to bend over and show your ass? I saw that. You piece of shit. What are you doing? Are you putting on glasses, Bobby? So you can see. No, I just touched the wall and part of it fell off. What?

The wall fell apart? I just touched the wall and part of it fell off. Where? Right over here. So what part of it fell off. Where? Right over here. So what are you taking out of your bag? Glasses for Karen. Glasses so I can see the dicks. I wanted to see dicks.

Oh, I thought you were gonna fix the wall. No, I'm not gonna fix it. What am I? Are you gonna read the letter? Yes. I would like to formally. No change. Announce my intention to.

I mean, look, or dick, it goes, that's changed. No. I would like to formally announce my intention to run as a spokesmodel for Christine. Although I do not post many things on social, for now this would change if I was selected. That's a good sell. I feel as though Christine would be entitled to feel like new pussy for someone. And that someone is him. A little bit about me, I'm 40, retired from the Army after 20 years, business owner, father and avid gym goer.

Big fan of the show and always look forward to listening to the episodes each week. I have attached my photos for you to judge. However, I do not want to make the serious studio slick with perspiration. So for now, the clothes stay on. This guy looks yoked. I mean, he's yoked. I bet he's got a nice American dick. Yeah, that guy's hot. That's Robert F. Kennedy. bet he's got a nice American dick.

Yeah, that guy's hot. That's Robert F. Kennedy. That guy's got a good dick for sure. Yeah, he's got a nice piece. That's why he doesn't need to show it. Look at that. What is he? He's tall. Look at all those.

Look at all those. He has all that hair. Oh, he's so decorated. Look at all that chest candy. Oh, yeah. Huh? Chest candy? Decorated, veteran.

It looks like Jared Freed. For the troops. Jared Freed? It looks like Jared Freed a For the troops. It's like Jared Freed. It looks like Jared Freed a few more inches. Yeah, yeah. That guy didn't show any dick. It looks like Jared Freed if they gave him the Captain America juice.

Yeah. Hey, that guy. Send your dick, dude. Yeah, dude. You want to be in this ring? You send your dick. Yeah. I say he's in the running though,

because now there's anticipation to see this. Our next person, we'll call him simply M. M. Um, hey guys, throwing my cock into the ring for Spokesperson. Hopefully, Spokesperson, very, that was smart, that was smart, that was very well. Progressive. Hopefully representing our queen, Christine. If she won't have me, I'll even put in for notable bye guy

DJ Lou This is back on your plate. Okay That's a real wet feiny dick That's yeah, the shine on that. Yeah, his bathroom sucks. Okay. There. He's giving you the Okay, what is that what is it? What's up? Oh? You know what nice eyes guys got great eyes beautiful eyes Yeah, it's not bad in our goal and he's from Boston. He's a Boston fan. I love that So but he didn't want to be he wants to be for you or Christine. I'll say Christine thinks that dick's tapered a little bit weird

This is my Christine thinks that dick's tapered a little bit weird. This is my, this is my, Is it my no my girlfriend or not? I think it's tapered weird. It looks like a botched circumcision, like too tight. Like they didn't give him enough room to puff up at the end. Somebody's a cock professional. It does, it looks like,

That's in my special skills. Karen, does it look like if his dick got any harder, this, the skin and the head might separate. Yes. Like there's not enough, there's not enough skin to hold his dick meat in. Yes, imagine you're squeezing a sausage and the casing breaks and the flesh flies out. I'm gonna throw, I'm not gonna lie.

It does hurt just hearing you say it out loud. I'm starting to, I'm feeling sympathy pains of that very situation. That makes me disgusted. You should do this. You get a bone or your dick rolls up like a sleeve. You should do this on your own, you're only feeling judge dicks. It'll give you a personal thoughts on dicks. You should do this. You get a boner, your dick rolls up like a sleeve. You should do this on your own if you're on Judge Dix.

Yeah. Give you a personal thoughts on Dix. Well, I'm very anti-circumcision now. Really? Yeah. You like a snuffalophagus. Not that I'm anti-as-in, I won't sleep with a guy, but I don't think we should be circumcising little boys.

Okay, that's fine. Why? But what dick do you like? Because little boy dicks are better when they're uncircumcised? Um, I... Hey, strike them. We shouldn't be circumcising our babies. Uncircumcised baby dicks, the best dick.

They're like little pigs in a blanket. Bite size. You can get rid of the evidence quick. Yeah, it's the effect. It's like a mustard. Listen. Why are you taking a political stance on dicks? What else?

We're like the only people who circumcise in America. Everybody else doesn't do it. What woke fucking alt-comic have you been fucking? No. What Brooklyn douchebag is talking to you? No, it's just the Irish guys I fuck that are still intact, I think. And I enjoy the sex and I think that they're fun.

You like it uncircumcised. Yeah I think you're like our next contestant. Oh, yes. Well, Christine you have a similar take too, right? Yeah, you're fine with an uncircumcised dick I think as long as it's clean I think the whole thing's kind of weird that we do it. I agree with you Yeah, but it looks prettier. It does look prettier technically. There's no way you could say an uncircumcised dick. Hard they look the same But again, you want to throw up. Yeah, but I want to throw up at all hard dicks There's no way you could say it on a circum an uncircumcule hard. They look the same but again hard They you want to throw up no, but I want to throw up at all hard dick Is that your thing I don't like I like them hard Bobby you like him call me gay You won't like Jay then they had to take him to the hospital when he was a boy

Alexis writes your episode with Joe de Rosa made my fucking week as a token of my gratitude when he was a boy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that of course it's a man's man. Oh man Christine would fuck this guy the day after I fall asleep. He looks like what I was supposed to look like. If either of my parents were a little more attractive. Let's see what's Dick is the same. Oh he's got a what? A dog and a lady. Okay and well. The next one is covered in spit.

Who's spit it Who's that? Oh, he's in a tub. I always have it in a tubby time. I'll tell you what. He sent you his tubby time thing. I don't know if that's hard, but that's a good dick if it's not hard. That's a big, girthy dick, but look at that circumcision just pinching at the tip there. Can I just say something? This is the second dick we've seen in a tub. Yeah. Is it, is that a better way to take a picture of your dick?

Well, not for me. My best way is if I put it that a is that a better way to take a picture of your dick? Oh, not for me My best way is if I put it through a curtain and no one sees anything else attached to it But I also be laying on my back with my legs wide open And you have to have string to your nuts and have somebody pull it Mine looks best in one of those doll houses next to a furniture Yeah, mine looks really good like next to a Barbie convertible. He said uncut, but that looks cut. It's not. It's not. No, you can tell it's not. Yeah, that I need flaccid. He's, I'm telling you what it is. Oh, he's pulled back. He's pulled back.

But he's only pulled back to the very, very bottom of the head. So that's, that's foreskin right there touching the bottom. No, no, no, up, go up, go right to the head so that's that's foreskin right there touching the bottom I don't know up go up go right to the head look at that little splice at the bottom of the head Yeah, I don't know no no up right there that line that goes all the way across That's his dick head hitting his foreskin The foreskin is just pulled back slightly yeah, it feels good inside your pussy But it's like ribbed. It's like double double pleasure going against the stuff Good-looking guy. Stop looking me like that Robert It's a good-looking fella. All right, here we go. Oh, this is a long message. Oh, wow, okay. It's probably good. How's the grammar?

I would Bagging a nerd, aren't you? I would like to throw. You're not bagging a nerd, are you? I would like to throw my name in the hat to be the spokesmodel for the bonfire for the lovely Christine Marie Evans. My name is Brandon. I'm 37 years old from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll say I'll say. Work in construction maintenance for a fertilizer plant.

That sounds like just a bunch of words. I'm half Asian. Okay. So I bring a little diversity. In my spare time I like to work out, cycle, cook. That's what he calls his dick, little diversity. Have you met little diversity yet? Yeah. I'm a connoisseur of fine whiskey and cigars. I've done some fitness modeling and I've attached some photos from my shoot. I know how Christine likes the pretty boys like Justin Silver, so I figured she may enjoy someone who is clean Clean cutting in shape. All right. That's a tack on me

Which I figure she'd enjoy someone who's clean cutting in shape, right? You gotta land that fucking pile of shit every day Which let's be honest is hard to find another bonfire fan who fits that criteria shots fired to all the campers is hard to find another bonfire fan who fits that criteria shots fired to all the campers I was at skankfest last year I got to meet big J but did not get to see miss Evans unfortunately I'm gonna go see mr. Robert Kelly in April when he comes to Lafayette also plans to be at skankfest next year in Vegas as well needless to say I'm a big fan of the show I've been for a while I think miss Evans is the glue that binds the show with her lovely feminine energy. Is that what you're getting off her? She brings

feminine energy. That's what you get from her. Get hard or leave. That's not feminine. Yeah. It's dry all the time. Oh, I think Karen and Christine would definitely get on that regard. I get you got a minute and a half of me sucking your dick to be hard and if you're not getting hard goodbye We had a whole conversation about Christine's a very like and she has no One more shot at sexy to get you hard if you're not getting hard from the things that get your heart She's like fuck. She's angry. I think it's a weird approach an hour I think it's a weird approach for an hour Even if you don't so I hope you do pick me as your spokesmodel miss Evans, I don't care that you can't act

You're still an amazing woman who not only produces one hell of a show but organizes the greatest comedy festival in earth You can check out my Instagram Please tell mr. Batat I can give him some pointers to add muscle so you can ditch the buffoonish blankets and warmers This guy has hurt everyone except for a clue First of all it is black. Well over here cuz I'm so lean that looks like right over the blower Dude this that looks like an in-shape Dave Smith does those arms are fucking big. Yeah, yeah guys in good shape for sure That's the justice Silver chains though. He's like, I freed the dogs, but I kept the chains. It's a reminder that I always got to do dip story today.

Okay. He's a babe. Some total muscles. Oh, he's got it instead of his weiner? No weiner. No weiner. He's short. Not even the white half of it?

Come on, now. He's short, I think. He's the short king. Short king. He probably doesn't have a big dick. No, I think he's got a. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh!

Come on. You can't lie with the eggplant. Boo. Now this guy's not. Boo. Christine's all in on this guy, for sure. Boo. He doesn't have a big dick, dude.

He put a fake eggplant emoji. Now, I'll tell you what, that guy's got a decent dick. I'm sure it's not gonna be, that might not be a jaw dropper, but it's gonna be nice. He's got a penis that's doing a bicep curl too. Oh, it's definitely curved up. It's probably curved up.

Agreed. Cause the way his hips were, he was like, look at my guy. And it goes, yeah, that's one of those ones that tilts. Yeah, I don't like a tilter honestly they call that a kung fu dick yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we're 45 we gotta go we gotta go damn it maybe when we have 30 seconds we come back we could judge one more dick one more dick Karen Fian will be at comedy comedy Key West January 31st through February 3rd after that she'll be in Baltimore

Atlantic City Denver follow her at Karen Feehan for tickets one of the funniest hilarious so funny Thanks for hanging out. We'll be right back everybody. I think it's the bonfire. It's the bonfire Madonna day Back everybody, I think it's the bonfire. It's the bonfire. Madonna day. Ugh. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual SiriusXM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash

bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robberkellylive.com to check out our stand updates coming to a city near you. Crackle, crackle, crackle.