The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dignity with Kim Congdon

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

In part one of Kim Congdon's Bonfire visit, she would not mention the name of the Netflix comedian who refused to pay her for joke writing. Now they are back from the commercial break and the guys are still trying to guess the identity of the perpetrator. Jay does name names of comedians and club owners who have wronged him throughout his career. Bobby still holds a grudge against David Cross and alt-comics as a whole. | Jay plays videos of women caught cheating and people who think they are werewolves. | Kim puts her finger in Bob's belly button to see if it smells. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Previously on The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson, Robert Kelly, and guest Kim Congdon, this happened. There is a comedian who I wrote for. Okay. Who stole, like, $10,000. Rich Voss. There it is. Robbery in being unpaid?

Unpaid after a grant. to a payment and then this person who is, everyone knows here. Famous? Shouldn't be, but is. Like, not deserve, undeservingly famous.

Five guys just shocked at my head. She. Oh! She I had a feeling she. Refused to pay me my money and then added into the email an attorney who threatened to tell Netflix that I was difficult to work with if I came after the rest of my payment.

Literally think of someone who's never had one joke and is famous And gets regular spots in the city No, Bobby, Bobby guessed that already And blew up quickly And has been connected to some of our friends Oh, I know it is. I know it is. Yes, I know it is Yes, yes, yes. I see you writing it and yes, Jay

I'm seeing the letters Yeah, yeah, yeah right Yes Yes Yes, that fucking bitch I put that face I can't believe it Kim's so mad at Fran Dresher the nanny

Yeah I didn't know she was still big Fran Dresher I can't believe the way she treated you Kim Kim I'm not giving you the money You don't deserve it Yeah it's Fran Drusher Fran is your evil

Fran you fucking bitch You're on my list bitch Just a 70 year old woman You are on my list, bitch I'm coming for you Fran If you have somebody that you Is there anybody that you don't like Like that?

Like she doesn't like that person Is there somebody? Christine, do I have somebody Didn't be funky that I really have Like a don't like them? No, it's more I really wanted to make this joke But I couldn't say it out loud

Anyways, that sucks for everyone listening Still good Good radio Good radio Sorry guys Let's watch a video There's a guy that fucked you over for years That became a Christian comic

Yeah, Dili Yeah Oh you'll say the name Oh yeah I don't give a shit Coming after me with his flock His flock of religious people now That he's now he's Christian comedian They always go Christian

You think a Christian would have thrown you That money that he owed you Christian comedian D Lee for sure is on my list and Captain Brian off the comedy club. Oh, you don't like the comedy club owner. Is that Naples? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's the guy. I'll stay away. Yeah, he lied. He kept pushing tickets for a Sunday show on my weekend that I wasn't there, not there on Sundays. And then he kept saying oh, this is the mistake, they're going to fix it. And then I left, and when I left, the next night when people came, expecting me there,

he just said that I canceled, said I had an emergency. But, you know, but you know well everything's cool though you know you can come watch a different show with these local comics or whatever just to get so they sold tickets that night using your name using my name and then lied and said you cancel yeah oh hell no so why'd you cancel never took it i always take the comedy comedy club manager side bobby's a huge comedy club manager i'm a huge they're such good people off-the-hook people especially off-the-hook Comedy club managers.

They're really good people. I actually worked for him this year. I didn't work for him for years, too. Yeah. I had a problem with that weird, weird shit he would pull. Oh, what? You have to call a grown man, Captain Brian, and you have to.

And also does a podcast with you in his car while he's driving you to press. He would just turn the button on his iPad on. It says live, say podcast on the screen. Something. He would push it, and then a live thing goes on in his back seat and cameras or start filming it. while you're on your way to morning press yeah what a piece of shit yeah or genius is he

dating grand or marketing genius i'll tell you who's a dick to me Greg proofs that's a douchey name i don't even hear that oh you know i know who he is he was a fuck to me too was he every time i would go places i'd always when they would say that well there's a big show here this place but it's an alt show it's an all they used to say that was a very like early 2000s thing it was like divided it was an all show so I'd go so what like it's a comedy show like I'll go do a comedy show

yeah it was usually in the East Village you'd go do Mark Marin would be there comedy Central people would be there at Luna lounge all that kind of shit yeah all that bullshit when I was out in L.A there was one called M Bar and it was like the Sarah Silverman's and Greg Proops and I went up and did well and like they were shitty before and it but him particularly I remember

just being kind of like ow it's just you know I always just gets this disregarded as dirty shit or whatever and it is what it is It's fine. But, like, do it behind my back. It's weird to be, just be, like, I'm excited to be there. I'm like, hey, that's the guy from TV. I recognize Greg Proops.

Yeah, that's the smartest guy in comedy. When I get my shit. That's what he says. When I get my shit, like, from any comic, that's the bummer of it was always that. Bobby Slayton, it was never that I was like, he's the greatest comic I respect. I respected that I knew who Bobby Slaten was since I was 12 years old, watching stand-up comedy on TV. And then when there's dickheads, you're like, damn, dude, that sucks. Yeah, Bobby was a dude.

dick to me too. When I first met him in Boston I was opening, I was hosting for him and he walks out, he was like, uh, you do cocaine? I was like, no, I've been sober for 15 years. He goes, you fuck chicks without condoms? I was like, nah, there's AIDS and shit. And he goes, wow, what the fuck go to you? What we're

talking about? And he walked away, I'm like, what the fuck? I don't even know what the fuck that meant. I'll tell you now he knows you're a liar. You fuck chicks without condoms? Never. Never. I, uh, yeah, Greg Poopis did the same thing to me. I went up at,

He went on after me. I was like, oh, that was interesting or some horse shit like that. I was like, fuck you, dude. That's Leggero. Natasha Legerer did that to me in L.A., one of my first times out there. Like, I did well. And when she got up on stage and it wasn't going well right away, she, like, started shitting on, like, backwards on me, you know. Did she take her glove off?

I guess this crowd loves stupid, like, you know, just dumb dick jokes and whatever. Did she take her gloves off and slap you and challenge you their duel? Fucking breakfast at Tiffany's asshole. She told me she does declare. I do declare. I do declare. Why, I do declare. Yeah, there's a couple of...

Mr. Opses. Alt comics had a problem with us back in the day. It was a flip-side, because they, there was more of a chance of a comic who was working clubs doing well when they went to those rooms. And those guys said they were like the dominators of the rooms. It was a divide that no one even created. when I first started dating Christine

she loved alt penis well no she was broke so besides the club she worked that she didn't go to love the comedy club she got into watching the comics all at like the cabins and like the smaller places

and she worked at the one comedy club so she'd see like the A people there so she saw both and so her roommate Brian at the time was more like into like that world of like so they would almost like with a shitty thing goes oh I don't like sell

and so they're a club comic And it was just because like they stopped The people that couldn't get in the clubs just started a scene And call it the alt scene What really just meant was like most of them were going to be bad Alternate places they could get up Yeah A fucking donut shop

It's all it was and it was like oh because most of them are shitty and not good Yeah And but they're but I do appreciate like the effort But then the thing was they were like What are you going to go up there and just tell jokes And not like you know Shit on a piece of paper and call it a painting Because that's what comedy is down here bruh

Yeah that was so funny Do you remember that Seller and Kurt just came out, like, cackling, laughing? And he just goes, these kids think you don't need punchlines. Did you miss starting game, like the alt scene where they called it even like an alt scene? We had an alt scene in L.A. when I started. Oh, I guess because, yeah, I went and did meltdown. Same thing they were shitty to me there and I did great. Yeah.

And we had whiplash here. We would always go to. That was where you turned Brian around. I had, what's his name? What's his name? wife and um what's his name wife what's the name what's his name what's his name's wife what was that cambray was it no no um larry's uh larry david show the lady who played his wife okay she's she's a stand-up comedian and she had a show in uh fucking west hollywood somewhere and she had a stopwatch on and she would

i got a set one night i was so and i'm coming from being at the cellar being a rock star at the seller and now I'm out in LA and I got to go do this stupid show in a restaurant in a back room and she has a stopwatch and I remember her clicking it really hard when I like you have five minutes click and then

she just sat there with her finger on the stupid button my whole set and I was panicking because I'm just waiting for her thumb to go click you're done and she put her two up and I was like all thank you good night and she didn't say shit to me I was like fuck this LA had a doozy. L.A. had a dozy. L.A.

a doozy with a Jay Davis room and it was like a Chinese restaurant but the stage had like a babbling brook and like a bridge that went across yeah I remember and I went there walked in one night I watched like dove David off like tightrope walking like the bridge thing while he's got the jacket off the shoulders like young dove David off doing like his overly like I might be retarded thing and he's like oh yeah socrates is the one who told me about life and who goes That scene was, and I don't know what it is even today, but everything was like protective of getting pussy after shows for different groups of people.

Do you know what I'm saying about that? That's where I thought that meltdown when I did the meltdown out there. They were just shitty to me because it went good and stuff like that. It's like I'm going to impede ultimately on this nerd pussy. Do you know what I mean?

And you see it with the bro- You can't come in here and be funny, dude? You see it with the browery guys at the comedy store, kind of the fraternity, like, energy guys where it's the same thing. It's like, bro, you're kind of coming in here and fucking up the ratio. We can't have funny people in here.

They're going to know we're bad. Yeah, if some nerds doing great at the comedy store, everyone's like, yo, who's the fucking nerd, dude? This guy ain't getting pussy. Right. Does this guy even get pussy? Interesting. Interesting mix.

Oh, man. And the fact that it just found itself. It just spliced into two worlds. They had that in Boston, it was at the Catcher Rising Star in Harvard Square. It was with David Cross and Marin, and they had cross comedy. they were like elite

and I remember me, Dane and a couple of comics went down and you could fill out your name and wait six months to get a five-minute spot and we did it. We put our name on. We waited six months.

I got my spot and I remember my whole family went. I got like 15 people and the guy came up to he goes hey make sure your family doesn't laugh too loud at you. I was like, what?

He goes, tell them not to be. I don't want them to laugh at you and not laugh at it. Equal laughter. Keep it down. And I didn't even know how to say that to my mom and my uncles, be like, hey, guys, don't like me a lot. And they weren't anyways.

My fucking jokes sucked. You know what I mean? I remember I had some jokes about Spanish people or some shit that I look Spanish, but I'm Irish. And I remember one of these fucking hipsters. He goes, give it up for Robert Kelly. People are so different from me. comedy that was great wasn't it people oh i would have gone to jail yeah i know it was bad i would

have fully gone to jail that's that kid that guy opened for me at a college like seven years later hilarious and he took a fat hot one we're out of college and he was miserable his life sucked he was opening and i was headlining i was getting me five grand and this fucking loser was getting like 400 bucks and he ate his cock and i just watched him the whole time oh i love Oh, it made me so happy. Life does help sometimes. Who is that guy that used to wear a cowboy hat? Jim Norton.

No. Dustin Chafin? Yeah, he was a douche. I don't know why my phone. He was a douche. I get sent his, I think he opens for Nate now, Bargatsy, but he, I get sent from a lot of people. His post every day. He gives, like, comedy, veteran posts, which I always do find.

Pretty funny. Like what? just like things that will never apply to you but you're judging that the others have done you know what I mean like oh I guess we just all tell our celebrity friends business on podcast now I guess I always thought that we took that to our graves because that's part of the job about being a good friend or such as these things like

I had him on YKWD with Noam one day and he was he kept threatening to beat Noem up physically and he kept going I'm a golden I'm a golden glove And no one was like An old Jewish lawyer And what the merchant marines Joe was like Do you want to fight me

Like physically fight me He's like I can He's like Joe was like I'm not doing that We're just I'm not fighting you You fucking maniac What a dope

What's the last fight you got in Um Jesus Christ He got chumped His by fireworks last year No I didn't know I think it jumped That was not me

That was Chumped I didn't get That wasn't me who got chumped. That was Brendan and his brother. Oh. That wasn't me. That was the family.

What was the guy? Someone got you in front of Max? We laughed. No, that was when my association. That was when I was, I'm a member of an association. And we were, me and Max were down there. I've been going there for 30 years with my uncle. What association?

It's like, um. You can say just I'm a member of an association. It's Nambla. No, it's a national association, North American Man Boy Love Association. I went there with Max. I actually got a good price for Max. Yeah, he kept going up there with his uncle, but Bobby didn't have any nephews.

Now I have Max. So he had to make Max. Right. So he could take him up to molest him. Now I'm in the association. Nice. Right. He's a card carrying member.

We're all cut up now? We good? Bobby, please continue. So anyways, I'm showing Max's tushy off. You're taking a bit of a tushy talent contest? This guy came up and he's like, hey, are you a member here? I'm like, yeah. And he's like, I don't know you.

I'm like, well. look at this tushy. Now do you know me? Yeah, he goes, do you still not know me? Turn around, Max. He's dangling Max by one arm. Max, take a bow. I was actually braiding his hair at the time.

So there's, there's, uh, my uncle, uh, owns, uh, land. Dad, why? I love what she does. Dad, why are you bringing me to, why are you bringing me to bed over for all these grown bed? Listen, relax, Max. I told you, you need to learn. to relax.

Well, it does hurt less. Wow. Do you like Squam Lake, boy? Boy, do you like Squam Lake? I love Squab Lake. Oh, well, then you relax. It's like steady. So, breathe into it.

He's a, we've been going up to his house, and they have this beach front that is their private property on a lake, right? Yeah. You can't go there unless you're a member of the association, unless you have land. So I went and bought a piece of land in this association, so that I don't have to ask my uncle. We live on the same road. You can't ask your uncle? I don't want to ask my uncle, hey, can I go to the beach? Because he was kind of

a dick about it. And he actually, we're on the same road, but they're in the association. And he called me and my family townies. He goes, we call you guys townies. Which infuriated me. I went back to dawn. I go, we're buying fun. I don't care if it cost a million.

I'll sell our househouse to buy land. This motherfucker. I literally went and bought this piece of land. I had shirts made that said townies plus so we wore them the first day but now we're down there and we're doing my thing I'm a fucking I bought

I spent a lot of money on this piece of land so I could be a member of this stupid association so my kid doesn't have to ask his uncle to go down isn't the land like someone's side yard or something no it's a piece of it's an acre and a quarter of land it's my land it's like that quarter is important it's tough to there's something about it though right it's like tough to bill because it's I would have to

it drops off so if I build on it I'm going to have to fulfill. He's got to fulfill, and it's going to cost a lot of money to actually make it buildable. But you just wanted to fuck this guy over. I wanted to fuck my, no, I want to just fucking. Your uncle comes over after you buy land. He was like, we call you highlands. I see you can't even drop down to the water.

So funny. He said, oh, you bought that piece? You really can't build on that. He said, I was like, if I wanted to build, I was going to stop building. I was going to build a fucking mansion. It goes up and then over to his house on the bridge. It's like a diving board of a platform. for me, just stand over his roof.

It is a crush from his house. I really want to just build like a building that goes straight up and to the left that just blocks his view of the mountains. Oh, that's so funny. But we go down there and we're hanging out. All of a sudden this car pulls up kind of aggressively and I'm putting fishing rods in the back

and this big douche gets out, like retired cop douche and walks up. Hey. Pussy, you say what? I went, what? That's what I thought. Keep it moving. but I I didn't I didn't I didn't it just caught me and he goes he goes who you uh who you hear with I go no we we we live here

he goes where I go we we just bought the land where up on the top of the hill from I go I'm on I'm I'm Jimmy Jimmy's nephew he goes I bought I bought across me because now my land's across from him I go no I'm next to he's like who did you buy I'm and his wife is just stare not even going shut the fuck up leave him alone tell him who you fucking bought it from And I'm sitting there, and I'm like, I go, I bought, and then it finally came to me. I bought, I said the name. I bought their land.

He goes, okay, I bought that. And he goes, okay, and he walked away. Kick that tear on his ass. His wife all of a sudden was, hi, how are you? I'm like, fuck you. And Max gets in the car. He's like, Dad, can I say it? I'm like, what?

He goes, that guy's a fucking asshole. And I was like, he was an asshole. And I should have did something. And I came back here, and Jay was like, you pussy. He looked at Dawn He gave Dawn a little A little clap on the ass He goes

You look like you belong here He took Don on his pontoon boat Like a hour and a half She's out there She goes I'm just having a couple Keystone lights I'll be right back

She turns over to him She was like My husband bought the smallest land She can't even build on it It's a fill She came back She had a mohawk I was like

What the fuck happened She belongs to the lake people now She's an association woman now Association as a now. Yeah, that, that, it's so funny because they keep those guys on such a pedestal, all those alt guys, like they're better, like, I remember what guy was like, he is my, his dignity, like talking about David Cross and how honorable he is and how his stand-up. I go, oh, yeah, I go, bring up his resume.

Fucking Alvin and the chipmunks, one, two, three. It's like, they're, as soon as they can make money, they made fucking money. I'm sorry, stand-up's not about dignity. now when has it ever been about fucking dignity dude yeah i i don't understand it's about his dignity i don't know they think they're better than us what happened to the good old days when everyone raped yeah right bring back the 50s bring back the 50s look at jacob just stood up in his chair you made his spine hurt he's going to be like we're going to have to take that out too along with bob's bag joke no it was the hottest thing jacob's ever heard in his life hey silly bag is that better um was

Dushbag the problem? Nope. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. I wanted to show you something. I think Kim would be fun to have here for this. It's a, uh, nobody just pull my wiener out. I want to show you guys something. Look how big my diggers is.

Guys, draw this. No, this I was watching. Is it crazy looking at Jay? I was watching a video. Sorry, you're going to be uncomfortable. No, how you make it go? Oh, miss your belly. No, don't do that.

No, don't do that. Stop, we're not there yet. Come here. I'm going to go look at it. No, don't do it. Don't go look at my belly. Oh, I'll hate it. I'll hate it.

Go ahead, do it. I'll do it so much. I'll hate it so much. I'll be so sad. He looks legitimately so nervous. I'll be so sad. I'm starting to sweat. If you took it up and you just had this crazy girdle on.

What about you? You got to let me see your belly. Jay didn't lose anyway. Look, he's ready. I don't want Christine to see my belly. Oh, you don't take the video off. I'm a fucking black glue. Only time you put the fucking camera on me when I was my fat stomach out.

We have Osmo cameras on you. Take these down. Zoomed into your belly button. Cancel this. Wait, can I explain to you what this is? Yeah. Whoa. Put your finger on the other button.

No, I'm scared. Just do it. Just do it. Oh, don't. I wouldn't. Just do it. Do it. Index.

Index. Go, go. Go, put it in. All the way. As far as you can go. Can I do it three of your shirt? Like with a condo? No, that's terrible.

It's going to smell. It's going to smell. It's not. My belly button does not smell. Do you clean it? Yes. Every day. Push it all the way in.

Push it. It's so deep, I can't. I went past the knuckle crease. Does it smell? Yes. Do you smell it? No, your fingers smell good. You don't smell that.

I'll smell the other one. Yeah, it wasn't the other finger. Do a switcheroo on us. Do a smell test. Oh, not bad. Yeah, it's not bad. I clean my belly button. Nice.

Smells like. Yeah. It smells like front asshole. Luke, Luke's driving at my side stomach. This video I was watching A compilation the other day outside with Christine It was one hour of cheating women getting caught

Now it's a little misleading It's a bit of clickbait because it's everybody getting caught Love it I love people getting caught cheating It's great videos They're great The ones I always kind of laugh at Like women's reaction to getting cheated on sometimes

It's too much bravado and you're and you're hiding hurt and it's just too vis it's too obvious to me and I mean like they have so many on this video of a girl catching a guy cheating and then bringing the other girl out too and they're both kind of laughing about it it's like oh hey so you told her that I'm dead right you said that your girlfriend died so am I dead ha ha ha they're all laughing how dead do I look yeah and then but you know they're three hours away both of those girls from hysterically crying and being broken up about the whole thing. They're either three hours away from hysterically crying

or having a weird threesome with that guy. Yes, or one of them staying and the other one and then getting, he'll get her to turn on the other one. Yeah. Like, it's just so not a real emotion. The guys getting caught is funny because they really just like, it's almost just like,

they're not physically afraid much of the situation. So it's just like, but you have to take your lumps, can't really fight back. So it's just like a sit there and like look like a doof while a girl keeps like laughing at you. a girl getting caught cheating is puzzled have you ever got caught cheating i've never cheated ever was it but they's never like know what to do you know i mean it's so such a foreign thing for that to be the the side of it yeah uh it's interesting this for a woman handling a situation what

she says here i guess she got cheated on by her boyfriend and then she uh it's a it's a black woman and she lets him know why she doesn't give a fuck actually that he cheated. Okay. She doesn't give a fuck actually. Mm-hmm. You was just popping her fingers?

That's fine. I've been fucking your daddy. Hold time. Hold on. And I just had an abortion. So you know what? What? Now I'm gonna go and now you're my son.

Now what? That is my favorite thing. What? I'm gonna have to explain it to you. I'm gonna take it slow. Stop back. I know I was going to go through it. Whoa.

What the fuck? What? So, if a lot of all it wants, so I'm going to walk you through it, now that you heard it, and we'll go through it again. Woman has caught her boyfriend cheating. Okay, hang on, let me get a pen. Go ahead. Okay, go ahead. Woman has caught her.

Hold on me pull up chat, GPT. Woman has caught her boyfriend cheating. Jacob, put up on her. I guess the first response he gives to her asking, he asks him somebody, he goes, oh, you're just popping her fingers out or something, like whatever excuse he's making about being with another girl. he says and she goes but it doesn't matter because I've been fucking your daddy

the whole time she's fucking dad okay I got that got the dad Bobby's taking notes and then a guy goes and then the guy goes no then she says

and I had an abortion she goes she goes I was fucking your dad the whole time you were going no then the guy says that's you were texting or something and he goes and I just had an abortion and I'm fitting to go so you're my son now now what now what

so he was cheating and she goes you know that's fine you're cheating because I've been fucking your father I just had an abortion and what you'll hear when we run through it the next time is afterwards the guy who got cheated on is gonna go you were pregnant with my brother

she's like yeah she don't give a shit what it's the coldest funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life I need to see immediately no how is the son how go on Bobby you have a question Christine please before you

pause pause pause Bobby looks like he's taking the SATs right now. Bobby, I'll accept all questions. Real quick. So fucking the father, right? She's fucking the father. Right? Doesn't matter.

Fucking her boyfriend's father. Fucking, I was fucking your daddy. I had an abortion with the father. Father jizzed me had a baby. Now you're my son. That makes me, that makes you my son. I'm your stepmother. I'm your stepmother because you're my son.

Because I fucked your father. I fucked your father. I was pregnant with your brother. With her brother. You're my son. Got it. Now, I'm up. I'm called cut up.

Now we're going to another level. No, I think we're just rewatch it. Now we're just going to watch it. But now you're going to see the part afterwards where the guy goes, you were pregnant with my brother? She's like, uh-huh. And then the guy who's just,

the guy who's staying next to him just goes, this crazy. Go ahead. You was just popping her fingers. That's fine. I've been. I was through a fucking carap. Yo, Daddy, the whole time.

Whole time. Hold on. Is that who you're texting? And I just had an abortion. So you know what? Now I'm gonna go and now you're my son. Now what? What?

Not what? Not what? White. Not who wins. Shirted. Shirted. Say it again. Say it again.

Say it again. He was going to answer my phone call. Say it again. Lay this walk right on his old ass. That's something funny? No. He took me out. Yeah.

I mean, hey, long, doing the family. Long dick running in the family. Yeah. I'm nasty. you mean you got what you wanted you just said you had an abortion with my dad so that mean you had my brother I did bro oh my god it's crazy this better be some twisted I mean I mean if it's a skit she's the greatest actress in the world that way she goes

I'm an abortion and I'm fitting to go and now I see you in my son now so now what this is a funny way just like I'm like what are we where do we go from here so he was he was cheating on her by finger fiddle in did you call it no I think when Whatever he's describing doing, because it says, what do you, a chiropractor or something when he said? I think he was like, whatever, they're holding hands, and he said he was cracking her fingers. It's probably what it was.

It would be funny if he really was. You'd just get caught popping a girl's fingers. That's his dream to become a chiropractor. Can I practice on you? Can you crack my fingers? Yeah, I can't. I can still figure your belly button on it. No.

Top. Relax. Down. No, I don't like the. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Um. Uh-uh.

I'll crack. Her thing. This part's great, right? here, I forgot about this. What? I laid this wop right on his old ass. I laid this wop right on his old ass. Wet-ass pussy.

She called them a wop? That's an Italian shit. No, no, no. She's saying, I late-ass pussy. Oh, wet-ass pussy. I got you. She laid her wop on his old ass. Right on your daddy.

She said she was a pig, too, right? She said, I'm nasty. I'm nasty. I like it. It's that the other thing I had that I wanted to show you before, but I don't know if we have it right here, but it's a, I know we only have a few minutes. but there is I'm going to look into this lady

this might be a teaser for another day's deep dive and maybe she's famous online but there's a new series just saw in Prime came out called furry detectives and it's ridiculous it's a place in the world of ferries you know what fairies are I do it's the people who dress up in the mascot costume they fucking animal costumes

well they say as all these things they try to make it that it's not a fuck thing but it most certainly definitely is yeah people there's a college up where I live they have an outdoor place for the furries to play in. But there's, that's for telling it's crazy.

That's not true, is it? Yeah, there's a couple of furries at the college and they have an outdoor little, like, a area where they can go in the sand. You can go foster a furry for the day. Just need a therapy furry.

So, but someone, they get word, people start sending them like fucked up videos and shit. It's all, I'm only in the one episode of it, but they send fucked up animal abuse videos and they're the ones trying to like, because they're getting the videos they're trying to find out

who this comes back to and stuff. This is what I call the furry detectives. There's one girl who's very involved in the hunt girl, I think. Look at Paco's face.

What's the name of her, Christine? We took the name down. Pocko, are you a secret furry? Are you being exposed right now? You look nervous. Naya Okami. Anybody familiar with this?

Paco, it seems like to be up your alley. Okami, is that your cousin? Naya Okami. No familiar? No familiar. It's not a real name because she's definitely a white guy or girl. Probably a... They.

They? Dare you say they? Well, it is they because she doesn't identify as either. She identifies as a wolf. No, an actual wolf person. But you can be a male wolf or a female wolf. Now there's they wolves. That may be.

But I will tell you one of my favorite things, and I'm glad we have the cameras here, because you will only see this when it goes on socials of what she does. her introduction in one of the scenes is her howling at the moon and then looking at the camera but in such a way that you know again dickhead producers who are funnier and smarter than the people they're filming

go hey do the howl of the moon and she goes ho! And then the turn she just goes smudge turns and smiles at the camera you're like oh god this poor schnuck just lives her life in a room with a red light bulb it's a wolf yeah that's the type of what's the type of wolf a snook wolf

She's a snook wolf. Yeah, it's like right here. This is the greatest introduction to a character ever on something. Let's see here. Screen names to hide themselves. No. And I did say, when I start doing,

if I do any home streaming on my studio out there, that's going to be the intro of my show. It's going to be, and now whatever would Jay. It's her turning. I got to see that again. Can I please see it? First of all. This made me laugh seven times.

It's not a bad fucking howl. Fantastic howl. She lives her wife as a wolf. It looks like, it looks like. A Ramon. Yeah, she looks like a member of kiss. Yeah, she's Wolf Ramon. Hi.

Hi. Please look up. It looks like the guy that used to follow. You know, the guy. that used to dress like a goth and he was really tall and he'd follow people around and he was really scary do you know what I'm talking about oh oh he had a really deep voice I don't mean in comedy maybe he's in comedy I don't know but he was really scary looking and he'd like follow people in the mall it looks just like Naomi is weird looking is there can you look up her social

media or anything it's got to be you're so nice for saying her still huh her her Nothing. Oh, I don't even know if it's, I think this might be boy first. I don't know. Oh, it's a wolf first. First and foremost, wolf. Don't disrespect me. Let's just get that on the table.

I acknowledge her wolfism. Her wolfness. Does she, he, her wolf an entity? Live as a wolf all the time, or does she take a break to go to work? Full-time wolf. So you can get a job as a wolf. And where does one apply for a job as a wolf? Extremely domesticated wolf.

Okay. You have to be. You have to be like an inside wolf You have to be a house A potty trained wolf Or what if the job is like She just goes out onto like a driving range And just like bite and spits out balls

Back in the little buckets all day She just collects People have to go pick up her shit Yeah She's a ball girl in a tennis match She has to stand in the desert And how while Johnny Depp plays a guitar In front of a fucking wall of marshals

If you date her you have to have a penny can I swear to God I would rather Marilyn Manson go inside this than young blood I swear to God, this is cooler than Youngblood. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, she has a tail. Well, this is her original. That's Florida.

So this was. That's Florida. That's Florida. That's Florida. Oh, this is a Florida problem all the way. Whoa. Now, that was a meme. Jacob's going to try to shoot her next time he's down to Florida.

This is what we hunt down there, by the way. I have a license to kill this. You can shoot this on site. Dude, that's six points right there. That's like coyotes. you can just kill them they're actually you know what it's actually a problem that there's too many of them and they're hurting the environment you're supposed to shoot those they're an invasive species actually yeah they keep taking out all the fucking birds down there oh what is that

like realized that I was other canon theory and I joined what other kinetheer list I wasn't exactly welcome she's wearing a collar 12 years old I didn't really understand easy to shop for though just get her a fucking pigs here What fucking wolf do you know as a DVD collection? You're the only wolf with a DVD collection. What person do you know that has a DVD collection? You guys want to watch Dumb and Dumber, too. Community.

Oh, we've got to join that. This isn't a woman. What? It's a wolf. It's a wolf. What are you not getting, Jake? Jacob. Have some respect, dude.

Yeah, dude. Why are you such a Republican, dude? Why don't you chill out? Now, dude, you're born wolf. It's not a choice. Yeah, dude. You don't know who can't decide that. It looks like a male wolf

How do you know what a male wolf looks like? Why? Did you lift her tail and look at her undercarriage? Did you see her a little pink lipstick sticking out? I'm not a wolf expert. You're right. All right. Wow, look at how many. Is that all the wolf people in the world? She looks like the lead singer of Greta Van Fleet.

She's wearing a Mexican bracelet. I like the bra strap. Twisted bra strap. I love the... Honey, fix your bra strap. You're on TV. Oh. I'm still figuring out how to work it out. I love it.

She got one of those little collars at Costco's for the dog. but for herself. Oh, absolutely. That's what I thought I was going to find inside your belly button. A full dog's leash? No, the full wolf. I thought she was going to come out on my name. A wolf person?

Hey, put your finger on my belly button. It's been known to be a werewolf hiding spot. Doesn't she look like she curls up inside Bobby's belly button at night and takes his sleep? Oh, that is, Bobby. It doesn't like her hair looks like it is made of what would be inside your belly button. She looks like she goes in there to smell better. Could you imagine Where does the wolf

Go to get a cup of coffee around here? Jacob, male or feet? Or whatever says, no dogs allowed in his door And she goes like, she's standing aside And goes, ah, fooey, rats Those are her cousins The one in the back is the male No, the one in the front is the male

Front's male. Male is smaller, Jacob. You feel like a fool. Dude, you'd be a gay wolf. You happy? You would be such a gay wolf, dude Because you'd be fucking all the goddamn little ones.

Oh, you'd think they were women. You're just fucking guys. You're actually fucking wolf butt thinking it's wolf pussy. I hate when I have wolf button, I think it's wolf pussy. Dude, it sucks because they smell the same. But dude, you're so gay now.

You're so gay for wolves. He's looking at the wolf going, your wolf pussy smells like shit. And the wolf goes, got him. He's got a tail. Bombs. Oh, the sniff to the camera.

Okay. What happens to a child that they turn out this way? I, you know what, let's just hope it was beating and not molesting. I don't think it was beating. It's not beating. It's a hundred percent molesting. You don't dress as a wolf in the woods if you haven't been molested.

Yeah, there's some dude next door had a fucking dog that used to lick this kid's asshole. Please God, make me a wolf so I could bite off the penis of every man who tries to rate my face. This is the choices. You either molest other kids or you become wolf. There's two wolves inside of them and one was a molester. In a lot of ways, this is the hero we deserve. Look. I love his look anytime he does.

Does the, the, the, the, the, go back to that Hal, please. He does the same look. It's right back. It's a very, it's a very, how'd you like that? Yeah, he goes, he goes, it's supple, it's supple. It's supple. It's, it goes, that's a how. And that's how.

In fact, you know what. Hold on, let's see it. So, that's, that's how you do it. That wolf sounded like butter. I can't do it too loud. Other wolves will show up. And I don't want to have my pack here. Oh, yeah, also, I'm terrified of actual wolves.

That's why I moved to Florida. With his absolutely no wolves. She's the only wolf. I was going to move to Alaska, but he's too dangerous. Oh, God. The room's restricted. Yeah, that's what her father put that on to lock that fucking weird out. Logger in.

Hey, lock that fucking, that nuck job in the room, we have guests over. I never liked my father. This is my parents' people house. Yeah. They think I don't know the code, but I do. I do. I smelled his fingers on the digits. And I knew it was 3-4-2-2-2.

That's her humping room. She goes, what is that noise? He goes, that's our son. I mean, that's our wolf scratching. Oh, shit. She wants to get out. Look at it. No, the faces after the shots are so good.

Is every day a nightmare or is this content? This is a nightmare. Oh, wait, go back. I want to see what the name was. They changed to it, please. Okay, their name used to be Shiro Femian, Shimmel. No, I think that's the official name. No, no, no.

Now she's Naya Shiro Okami. Now she went from a Jewish kid to a Japanese wolf. To a Japanese wolf god. Wolf slash paper bird. God, look at those little fists. Hyphenated o'v? ULB. Maybe.

Shimil Ove. That's Robert Schimel's son, wolf daughter. Shiro. It's his wolf. Bobby. I got to tell you, Shiro sounds more like a wolf than Naya. It does. We will be kicked off the air so fast.

I'm sorry. If you start fucking misgendering wolves. I will. If you start misgendering wolf people, wolf bitches? Can I call it a wolf bag? A wolf bag. Is that okay? Yes.

You should be able to use the F word for this one. I love that he has little hair, ears. Oh, this will make you homophobic. I'm aware, queer. I use my mom's lip cloth because when I go outside as a wolf at night, my lips get chapped. I'm a we're a wearmo. It's so funny. No matter.

A fucking wearmo. Can we say that? Of course. That's a new. That's a new. A wearmo. I'm a wearmo. I know it's a wolf.

But when the moon comes out, I become a woman. Mo. A transform to Mo. Oh, God. There. Wow. He's fucking moon hallowers. Oh, man, he's so normal at one point.

Wait, that's him? No, that's another one. Oh, that's a different one. That's a different one. Oh, is it? I think so. One is goofier than the other one. The other one talking is definitely play it.

A leopard on all levels except physical. I am a wolf. Okay. Wait, the little bark was crazy. You mean everything? Well, he's a little baby wolf then. His little baby wolf. Still peeing inside all that shit.

Have you ever seen the video of the two virgins kissing for the first time? No. Yeah. Is it hilarious? Yeah, it's hilarious. They wait till their wedding day. And they kiss for the first time in front of their entire family. I mean, in their 40s.

We got to wrap it up. We got to go. Can we close out on a virgin kiss? I mean, you can bring it up after we read Kimmy's plugs. Kim Congdon is going to be a Patty Power Comedy Festival in Dublin this weekend, July 24th through the 27. After that, Nova Scotia, Tacoma, Nashville, Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth, and more. For tickets and all the tour dates, go to Kim Kongden, C-O-N-G-D-O-N-G-D-O-N, Kim-Congden.com, and listen to the Kim-Congden takeover on YouTube, and wherever you find your podcast, she is one of the best.

Bobby Kelly, Punchup.com.com. He's going to beat Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine this weekend. Yep. And then I have Tacoma, Tacoma, L.A. And Sacramento.com. Go check them out. us out and we'll be back tomorrow tomorrow thank you Kimmy love you Bubba love you guys take care what's her name say it Phyllis Diller!