The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dining At The Y with Tim Butterly

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Bob brings it to the world's attention that Jay says "everybody" too many times when introducing guests. Tim Butterly just got off the ShipRocked cruise with Big Jay. Jay looks for escorts for Jacob to marry. Jay expertly searches for working girls in Kansas City and then settles on Queens, New York. Some of Jacob's choices are pretty rough, also the gang has trouble translating the call-girl lingo. "Dining at the Y" is not what you think it means. Tim Butterly's two podcasts "Tim Butterly's Show" and "Dad Meat" are available anywhere you get your podcasts. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Suck on that Neil Brennan DMX did it first Two different voices two parts of his personality in one song. I didn't know you were talking about now I know Neil Brennan took it to three microphones three different personalities DMX did it too. He did it first They're both that they're both DMX Bobby. I don't know if you know that I know it's DMX I don't know if you know that both voices are him though I know they're both I didn't know I didn't know now doesn't make it cooler now it does make it cooler rewind it a little bit Lou let him hear the

transition it's so neat Turn it up, let us feel it. Black History Month. He went back a little too far. It's okay. Did his Tupac have two voices too? No. Yeah, he did. Oh yeah, one was his inner gay voice when he was a dancer. One was a gay artist, poet, and the other one was a fucker.

Oh. So cool. I mean, it's not that different. It's extremely different, is the whole point of the song. I mean, it's a little different. He does this nice boy voice. See?

This is all, this is Earl. This is Earl Simmons. What is he, like, Norman? And then DMX comes in. I'm drunk so I'm a bastard. Was he like no and then DMX comes in You want to see this guy in a dark alley the other guy you'd sell dogs with Well in the spirit of Black History Month I'd like to say a happy Black History Month to you black Lou after I

Say to all the white people in the history in the spirit of Black History Month to you, Black Lou. After, I say to all the white people. In the history, in the spirit of black history. Even a woman gets it first. Christine, happy Black History Month. DJ Lou, happy Black History Month. Bobby, happy Black History Month. Jacob, happy Black History Month. How are you celebrating?

Eating peanut butter in front of an air conditioner? Those are all black things, just so you know. You don't even probably know that because you don't know about black history. I didn't know that. Is that a black thing? And black, Lou, happy Black History Month, my man. To you as well.

Hell yeah. What do we have to do? Listen to Farrakhan speeches? Lou, bring up some Farrakhan speeches, please, for Black History Month. We have an awesome guest in studio with us today. He's been coming in when you had to be out, Bobby, before. It's rare we get to all hang out together everybody Of course you could check out his podcast dad meet wherever you listen to podcasts

He's also gonna be a wise guys in Vegas March 7th and 8th everybody. It's the great hilarious Tim Butterleaf Back on land I got it. I gotta say something you do say everybody a lot Do I buddy you say you didn't and you gave me shit for it but you say everybody yeah yeah and you just went to everybody panic why panic I know so good at this I start talking fast and I want to make sure I don't blow it so I say everybody in intros a lot all right it hurts so much when I start doing introsros at skanks and I just look, and just Lewis is next to me and he goes... I was in the middle of the, I was in the

middle of the intro and it just shook me so much like, I go, what the fuck is he laughing at? He wasn't looking at his phone or anything it was just something I said clearly made him laugh and I was like I keep it going for whoever everybody and then uh He said down and he goes people were saying in the chat that Jay says the word everybody so much in intros Damn, yeah, I probably do. Yeah. Yeah, cuz you gave me that note You gave me that note everybody you said that you're saying everybody a lot I said it one time you like you don't want to say everybody and you do it yeah yeah everybody everybody do you want go give new words instead when every time you

feel yourself about to say everybody say my brother's put your hands together Again, let's see if you can do it spin it out. I swear to you. I just fought going Come on you got it. I got this. I just say it. I got this Wow Wow, you can do it buddy. Come on. You got it. You can check out his podcast dad meet available wherever you listen to podcasts He's also gonna be at wise guys in Las Vegas March 7th and 8th. It's the hilarious. Woo hoo! The hilarious Tim Butterly, everyone! You said it at the end!

That was the good one. You said it at the end! I did say it at the end, didn't I? You fucking psycho! Wow! You snuck it in at the end! You're exposing me! Yeah, I'm talking to you! I'm melting! Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, You just snuck it in at the end! You're exposing me!

I'm melting! I couldn't get away with that saying! Wow, you love everybody! The last one didn't count. The last one was appropriate. That was a good place to say everybody. It's never a good place to say everybody. No, it's fine. Don't do this. He doesn't need this. That's one of the best feelings in the world.

When you say someone's name and then say everybody and then people clap, that's the best...fucking put that in my veins. Timothy, you just got yourself your first pivin of the best feelings in the world when you say someone's name and then say everybody and then people clap That's the best fucking put that in my veins Timothy You just got yourself the first pivot of the day. Is that good or bad? That's great. Thank you They have to come back. They have to come back at the end of the show, but no pivots forever Okay, but they are our reward system on the show and they are numbered so we know which one you have I'm gonna start stacking them. Bobby. Yes, sir. I also needed to be called out. Oh Wow, that's big Something I have to change. Thank you, buddy. Appreciate you saying um and like it all falls into that appreciate

I do all those things bad. It's good to see you. It's good to be back I'm so glad last week was a very rough week for me. It was very sad You have to restart your entire body. I was on my way here Wednesday, cause I'm a fighter. I don't like to stay home and be sick. And I'm just gonna be honest with you, I shit my pants on the way here. No.

Yep, because here's what happened. I got towards the end of the sickness, I thought it was near the end of it, and I started tooting again, you know what I mean? Where it's like, for Monday, Tuesday, couldn't toot at all, couldn't even risk it. But then Wednesday morning, I woke up and I, you know, little toots and I was like, oh, I'm back.

You're an adrenaline junkie. You knew it wasn't time for that. It wasn't time. And you were in the car. I was in the car. And you wanted to play with fire. It's the only rush you have anymore. Drugs, gone.

Gone. Frivolous pussy, gone. It's gone. Drinking, gone. gone, you have no party left in you. All you have is gambling with farts when you are sick. That's your speed rush, that's your adrenaline. Playing underpants roulette.

Got one in the chamber, you're gonna spin my ass. I've done it. I've only lost the battle once or twice in my life, but I've definitely walked that line. I've, one time in Austin, Texas, the Old Cap City Comedy Club in that hotel, I remember walking out the door, Fennoy was with me,

and I farted on my way out the door, and I go, actually, let me meet you downstairs. I don't know, I'm just gonna check something real quick, and I luckily didn't hit the underwear, but I mean just painted my inner ass cheeks. It I luckily didn't hit the underwear, but I mean, just painted my inner-ass cheeks. It was pretty nasty. You spackled your cheeks? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought I... There was a 50-50 chance I didn't. And, you know, because I... I went home and I was like, maybe I didn't, and I took it out and there was a little spot. Wait, what does took it out mean? I took out the... I took my pants out. Took my pants off, sorry. I uninstalled my shorts.

I... I... I got into the drywall. I unhinged my underwear. Deconstructed my clothes. Yeah. And your underwear had some... It had a little... What'd you do? Just throw them out?

I threw them in the trash can, left that for Dee to take care of. Is that bad? That's crazy. You could have done it in an outside trash can but I did wrap my little toilet paper And I let her know this is you know you wrapped your underwear in a little toilet paper a little bit I read all your underwear. I got little like a baby. I got g-string It would take a lot of time

a lot of time mummy my underwear. Mummy smells like shit. I have mid true classics. King toots. You can throw away your shit underwear outside on your own. Please don't make this a shit. How did it get so funky? Funky.

That's a root. It's black history month. Kristi, I promise you, you will never have to take out shitty anything of mine. I have a feeling if you shit your underwear, you'd put it in the garbage and then you'd walk the garbage down the hall. Away out of everyone's life roof it here's the deal Upon the refuse I don't know Tim in the era of drones that we are in that information is bound to get found

This guy's got a roof full of shitty underwear Another week, I could have just talked it in the graveyard in my backyard Mac Weldon's really travel nice because he got that thick strap. He got that thick waistband. I put it in the trash can in the bathroom and I was sick, Christine. Oh, I guess in the bathroom it's not a barrel. It's a trash can. No, the barrel's in the kitchen.

Hey, Jacob, you like seeing me put Bobby in this place again? In this case, I do. You know what, Jay? Everybody likes seeing gonna do it. Jake, have you liked seeing me put Bobby in this place again? In this case, I do. You know what, Jay, everybody likes seeing you do that. No. Yeah, is that bad? What am I supposed to do? Take it. I was sick.

I went right to bed. Do you have an outside trash can? I have an outside barrel, yes. Then it should go into a... So you want me to be sick. I want you to get a plastic bag, a plastic bag like a shopping bag, but I'm sick Mm-hmm a small shopping bag, but I'm sick and you absolutely But I'm sick Bobby. I've been to your house. It's two floors. You can handle this walk

This is an easy one, but I'm sick. I was sick. You are sick Yes, but you definitely could have put those underwear, the wrapping in toilet paper seems like batshit behavior to me. And I would be more concerned, I'm like, what is this big soccer ball of toilet paper in the trash can? I didn't wrap it, it was more like police tape. Like hey, don't try to repair those.

Oh, you tried to put a bow of toilet paper right around where the turds were? Yeah, like these aren't good. Don't try to repair these Don, these aren't washable. Put these in the do not repair, do not resuscitate. In hindsight, Christine, I probably should have, but I was sick. You keep saying you're sick,

but that's got nothing to do with getting a small, a small plastic bag. You put the underwear in there, you tie that bag up. You make it a small little, almost, were you, yeah, obviously, I had to carry, you had a diaper genie when Max was younger, yeah? I had a diaper genie, yes. You screw him up and it makes the sausage links of little non-smellable terrafins. One of my favorite baby devices I've ever owned is the diaper genie.

When you take it out, it's so weird though. I was put a big old fucking intestine made of turd diapers, and they're all individually wrapped and you hold it like this, like a macaroni necklace. Yeah. Cloth anal beads. The string of garlic in Italian restaurant. It looks, all of those things.

And it fucking smells. Did you just make a scarecrow during Halloween? It smells like an Indian crematorium. I assume you used them, diaper genies? We used one in the beginning and I didn't enjoy it very much. So you just went to just throw them in the trash Yeah, I love the diaper. Genie was my favorite device just crank it twist. You know, you're making the sausage They go you only got to spin like four times you go I'm spinning like 12 times

I want that link to be tight when I pull it out I want those things to be little pearls of turd diapers I wish we did one for dogs, because we have to pick up our dog shit and we have a little barrel outside. I bet it exists. Outside it's a barrel. It's a barrel outside. You could just use that one.

Huh? You could just use it. You could just use that one. That would be smart. A diaper genie? That is a smart idea. Yes, you could. It's a little weird. But I bet there is some sort of a diaper genie for dog shit. Yeah, because we have just a barrel outside with dog shit. You're putting diapers in the diaper. Genie not mushy dog turds. Yes. Well, that would be crazy. They're in a bag I don't just take dog sure

Pet genie, there's no cloth. There's no video of how it works What do you do with the pet genie? Oh, this is exciting. There's a pet genie by the way This is good. Tim you came on a good day because I'm gonna explain to Bobby because he's not as hip as I am Whoa, I am I am more mature than you and very very much so yes very much. Yes, you're very mature Yes, um, but I like to still live out loud and I keep my finger on the pulse with the kids are in Tuesday's day So I watched it great I love when a guy with fingernail polish and gloves is telling me how I'm not hip You guys watch the Grammys you would know the Teddy swims also

You'd see a lot of painting nails if you guys watched the Grammys last night on a lot of the dudes It was a wash can we do we see other pet genini works yet? Yeah, there's a... I keep seeing litter, but it's for dogs and cats. Yeah. Oh, I like this. Explain this. Give a little context. Okay, let's see. It looks like a trash can. I like the push foot button. It's got a foot button. Foot button, yeah, the stepper. You don't have to touch anything.

I think it's a stepper. Okay, now... This is crazy. Oh, I like this. It's got this weird gasket-like thing. Oh, no. All right, so now you've got maintenance parts. Yeah, okay? Whoa, whoa hang on the vaporizer I'm loving it now you pull a bag out of this little thing this doodad am I doing good?

I'm just listening and punching a wall right now, and then there's a thing and then a flip switch and then and then a door And then each way, and then there's a knot at the bottom and then a and then it's gray The ladies got a very shitty watch band and her elbow is disgusting Her elbows and her hands are fat and wrinkly yeah I'll tell you that's why she knows how to use this thing because she has a lot of pets and no love in her life Her toenails suck too She's got no lady bruise on her for she really does she has like cancer freckles on her arm You know what? This thing sucks! She's got an old lady bruise on her forearm too. Oh, she really does. She has like cancer freckles on her arm.

You know what? This thing sucks. Sucks. Boo. What? Turn it off. Oh, that stinks. You gotta go through some, what?

That's not good. What's the point? That stinks. It's a daily bang. There's no point of this. Now this is too much maintenance. You heard it here first. The Pet Genie is a sham.

This stinks. Bullshit. Smash your pass? I'm gonna go pass pass fellas. I'm out And for those reasons you could use a diver, Jeannie though, couldn't you you know what? They should have been like they have the Roomba for the house, which we both have by the way One for the backyard that goes around and picks up dog shit that because it's a robot friend That stops being anything that you would want in your house. It's gonna develop feelings for you eventually There's some things if something can go out, seek out,

and get dog shit without making a mess itself, it's gonna fall in love with you, and you're gonna have a hard time. It's gonna end up killing Don and Max. I should get one. That'd be an easy way out, wouldn't it? Oh, God. Bobby, that vacuum you got me killed Christine.

I would theme every room in the house. Oh, I know you would. This is my igloo igloo room I make that shitty hotel in Edmonton I'd have a I'd have a computer bed for gaming we're just lying down with a big screen Tarzan there she is look at. She can't wait. They actually just made a robot with real eyes. And eyebrows and eyelids, they're clothes. So now it has emotions when it can actually frown.

Yeah. So these robots now have faces that go on them. But don't you threw me off in the beginning by using the term real eyes. Like real, like they realize real eyes. Realistic, realistic. Instead of being these freaky little like shadow people. Yeah, once you add realistic,

when you add the eyelids and the eyebrows to the robot and it makes, it does, it fucks you up a little bit because now it's like real. Yeah, this one, as long as they keep a blank face. Damn, it's gonna suck. I was planning on only using these things for doing wrestling moves and now there's gonna be a woman's face attached to it.

Black History Month question, Black Lou, how comfortable are you? I got my Tesla announcer's table that I'm gonna power bomb this thing through. And it's gonna make a crying face at me the whole time. I think they made laws already for robots. They were passing laws... Try and stop me.

So you can't sexually fucking abuse robots. Sure you can. I don't know. You can fuck anyone of them you want. Nothing on that looks like I want to put my wiener in it. How crazy is that face? Black Lou, where is the black community on AI from hell yeah to all hell no?

Probably 50-50 about now. Yeah? Young generation wants it, old generation wants it. Are you afraid of it? Am I? Yeah. No. I'm just trying to figure out if I should get you

one of those old man caps later, so you can complain about it. And AI coming in here? I'm gonna go with AR man Alan Orbison. See, that's not real. You can still fuck it. Yeah, you can fuck it, but you know you're fucking it. I don't know, those twitch lips though

scare the hell out of me. Describe what we're looking at. We're looking at fuckable face robots. This is from the Consumer Electronics Show, is that what it is? Yeah. 2025. Yes, conveniently located, just steps away

from the AVN Convention Awards. I learned that when I went there to the AVN Awards. The Consumer Electronic Show is right next door. Like, how embarrassing, there's all these dorks here. No, they- It was supposed to be me and the cool porn guys, and now I got tech dorks. Tim, as a former IT guy, you're gonna appreciate this.

It's the same guy. you're gonna appreciate this. You're gonna appreciate this. It's actually cooler than that. The AVN Awards happened at all, from my understanding, because of the Consumer Electronics Show, was they would have that show out there in Vegas, and then the porn stars would go out there and high-end escort these tech guys,

and then they were like, well, everyone's here. We should do our own convention. So why don't we start doing the AVN show. So they started doing the AVN show and now you still, why I was getting recognized at the porn convention at all was because the tech guy, these nerds were coming over and being like, Big fucking Jay, what are you doing here?

Oh nothing. Yeah, I'm like, well I was podcasting. Me and Ralph were podcasting from it. But it was, but yeah, it's like, so that's all it is. And now what they used to do, it sucks more now for the consumer. It's just now the time of year they do it. Because I guess some of them probably still do

the high end prostituting. But now what they're all there for is they all just make their own content. So it's like they all, when people would say like Jim, when Norton and those people hosted the AVNs or went to the AVNs, everyone's stories were like, I was like, I thought I was gonna be going around like at a P. Diddy party, like just drinking sodas

and walking from room to room watching these orgies and gang bangs happen, nothing. But when they're not doing the awards thing or having to be on the floor for the fan pictures, they're in their rooms making content. Like they're just working, cause like, oh shit, everyone's here. No, like everyone's here.

It's like a festival when you have a zillion comics you can put on your podcast, cause everyone's at the festival. It's that kind of, they're like, oh, they're like, big cock, whatever's here. Like, let's do a scene in my room in five minutes. So yeah, they all just fuck each other. You can't get, there's no, you can't get there's no you can't get any

free pussy like if you go to the Consumer electronic plate you get free like headphones and all kinds of free shit Like I've been to the one like at the South by Southwest and they you walk up to these booths And they give you a bunch of shit You don't get like a free blowjob at the AVM check the dumpster at the end of the night I'm sure you all the uneaten pussy gets thrown out. Exactly. It's got to be something. I think you can like go up to them and probably say like,

Hey, I got ten grand. Is it ten grand to get pussy? From a porn star that's got a line in front of her, I'd have to get. I mean, maybe you could offer. I don't know. Actually, I'm bad at that. Do you remember Kendra Sunderland? It's not like block booking, like where the more you get, the less the price goes down. No, there's no NACA for this.

Do you remember Kendra Sunderland? The library girl, she got famous, she was in porn. Super hot. I don't remember names. Big old Nats. She was masturbating in the library. Casey Library Girl. She was masturbating in the library at Oregon University,

and she got in trouble for that, and then she started a porn career. She's crazy hot We were interviewing her we interviewed a few times so I got to know her so I said like a joke Jokingly thing we were on the zoom with her She was like now she's doing a lot of like only fan stuff in her own content for like individual buyers like she'll do whatever If you pay for it, and I said, how much to shit on camera? And I swear, we have this on record. She goes, oh, that would be like a lot.

Like a lot, and I was like, how much? And she goes, like at least 500 bucks. Wow. So, now I'm sure that price has changed. I got that on me right now. At the time she said it, I didn't have it on me right now, but my god if I was she's so hot And she would shit on anybody you want No, no, no, no

Cameo, you're not paying her to be mean to people. Hey, can you shit on Jim Norton Jim Norton? You bald little turd and trans loving boobity boo No, no, no, she'll take like a dump I mean oh just on this price has probably changed since I asked that question but look at how gorgeous she is and she'll take a dump for $500 dude life has dealt her some blows everybody everybody get down there a site where you can see like the porn stars rates? the fuck yeah, um What's the if you think they're the big the arrows eros is where they'll have a pussy yelp It's like high-end. It's high-end escorting so the porn stars will do it because you'll see those prices on it

It's like five grand. They should have a yelp for fucking hookers Oh, I'm gonna go to and just Bobby Bobby I've sent you every city I go to part of my like I'm out of lives on Candy Crush or something now is going to It's like list alligator any city you type in you type in escorts city Whatever city you're in. It's probably not real is why but either way it gives you a These like a list of these ads basically for local prostitutes and you click them and they have videos.

And it really is reviews and it's pretty fucking hilarious. I said it to you, remember I said it? I said it like a while ago. I was in a hotel room, I sent you pictures, I was like, look how many midget prostitutes there are in this city or something like that, it's wild. But did you click on? This is the porn stars.

You can have sex with these women? For money, yes. Yeah, hang on, let me read the names Let me see if I recognize any names Money brand new drop though someone's getting a Christmas bonus next year Roll up I want to see the names of them see if I paid for one of these girls to come to your apartment In Brooklyn, would you do it? in Brooklyn would you do it? This one.

Yeah. Would you do it? You wanna fuck a fat nigga? Oh god. How much is that? Wait a minute, can we take a guess on how much this is? Well whatever it is, plus your soul and... Plus size...

310! I don't know. That's not how much it costs. No, that's her height. 310, 165. That's her weight too. No, it's 168 I fucked up Wow what a what a what kind of ass is that though I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got pounds. I got it, it was 168, I fucked up. They're not showing prices. Wow, what kind of ass is that though? I think some of them will show prices. Rose Dee, no idea. Kendra Knox, no idea. That looks like Rachel. Hasley, no idea.

London Brooke, no idea. Can you sort by price or something? Parker's guys, I don't know. Yeah, is there a filter? Yeah, please. Is there like five star? Yeah, please like five-star Yeah, was that right down right there in the middle between everything down? The mouse

Roll down you'll see right usually above the search. Yeah, there's gonna be Somewhere up there right there above the that line Somebody has not had their face against the glass. It's a wrap. I promised you last night that I would and I didn't you didn't I did My lord, I Know I just wanted to read the names and see if I recognize any of them you made that extremely difficult God it's still your fault This bit's over Okay, that's exactly you were looking at the names and then I got

Four different conversations happening. No, no, no, this is my fault I said if you if there's a way to sort it by price and we looked at the most expensive ones Those would probably be recognizable names and I sent Christine on a side quest that I think sort of unraveled the entire bit This is on me. It's okay, and I'm sorry. I still quest that I think sort of unraveled the entire bit. This is on me. It's okay. And I'm sorry. I still don't recognize any of these names though. No, none of them. I don't think it's sourced by anything.

Maybe if you go to Vegas, if we typed in like the Vegas area code, you'd see people you knew. Oh yeah, wait, go down. Is that Joanna Angel? Oh yeah. Yeah. Who's that?

You know her. Yeah, she was at this gang fest last year for a little bit. She was. She had a podcast on gas. Really? Until very recently, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Who's that? You know her? Yeah, she was at Skankfest last year for a little bit. She was. She had a podcast on gas. Really? Until very recently, yeah. Wow.

Do you want an angel? She's like friends with David Tell sort of. You never met her before? No, I never met her. Well, if you want, you can fuck her for cash. I don't want to do that. She's very Jewish. No, oh really?

Maybe I do. What, you wanna put your dick? You gonna come in my pussy? I want an anklet to kick're gonna fuck me in the asshole Put in my mouth my thoughts bang me so hard You leaving wealth Bob Buy these girls you can't own them you gotta give them back just buying a snatch for an hour Go down keep going. I like that one. I like the one.

That's all. Which one? No, up one and to the right. I like that one. That's why we are locked in. Locked in, right? Because we're the bonfire boys. We work out together.

That's cool. She's trans, by the way. That's okay. Yeah, we're locked in. Jacob, she's not trans. Almost 100% trans. She is not. Look, you guys are absolutely in you

guys are in car that guy's thinking the same look like Jacob that's your boy friend Jacob's got a boyfriend here's some prices guys looking from across the room. Can we stop really quick? That is not a trans woman That is a female You're gonna have to say Female by the way the other picture tenders of social construct Jacob not only could you spend time with you could have sex with this guy for 48 hours for $13,000 But you could have sex with this guy for 48 hours for $13,000 For $13,000 one hour of private jet is 12 is $12,000 So you're getting two full days of prostitute for that price essentially come on

Is there a is there a version of this where it's like you know? You know maybe the McDonald's version of the grits a little cheaper. Yes, the thing I said, the list crawler, that's the funny one. I want the list crawler. These are high end, I'm looking at ones that are like, you can pay me cash when I get there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I want. Wait, did you type in like this city? Oh yeah, choose location, just do it like that. It's.eu, is that, should I do that? I don't know, I always type in the city I'm in. Yeah, for shit's sake, it goes, put in Long Island. Yeah, well I was gonna say. Who's there this weekend, I don't know. I always type in the city. I'm in for shit. It goes put in Long Island Yeah, well, I was gonna say who's there this week and I don't know anybody just put in Long Island

No, I was gonna say yeah put in a different. Yeah, do like Missouri go to Missouri. There you go. That's a good like let's do No, no, no, no, no get Kansas City. Yeah some lady with sunken eye sockets blowing you Okay now crawling into the bed of a truck. Just go the one profile picture. Just go the ones that say video Get Kansas City, yeah. Some lady with sunken eye shock that's blowing you. Hit OK. Now. Crawling into the bed of a truck. Just go to the ones. Profile picture. Just go to the ones that say video.

You're a fucker in a building that her father made. So wait, here you go. They give you all their prices. Curvy, slim, thick, tossable, fun size, lickable, all throat, no head. Have the, she's speaking in code Have a time of your life if you got a wife come fuck me and let me show you tight wet $200 minimum and car dates no anal no AA. I don't know what that is. These are all Max's gamertags

No bear no bear. Okay. Well, that's not a good thing. I see no Bobby, you should look into that. She's 19. What's? Go down, does she have some video? AA. No GFE. Why does it say no AA? Is that she is supposed to being sober?

I don't know what that means. I'm sure it's a term. Is that her right there? The prostitution, yeah. Oh, nice, let's see that. Whoa, that's too much. Well, she also has a nice stab wounds going down on one of them.

That's blood in, blood out gang member fucking stab wound. Keep going down, let's see. Here's the thing. Here's an internal of her cervix. That's great. Here's her swishy. What, you guys? Here's a woman penetrating herself with a tampon in her before.

Would you guys rather she was a guy? No, I don't. Or would you and Jacob prefer this be a penis? No, I don't want to be s'mores coming out of her vagina Oh, you guys got freaked out because it's a vagina It looks like her fucking mouth has a man a sandwich well someone's never made a girl wet That's not what comes out she's got that wet it's not wet it's white not there any I don't want it white I look like Elmer get that wet. All right, get out of's white. Not there, it ain't. I don't want it white. Look like Elmer's. Get that wet. All right, get out of this one.

Let's find someone more hilariously and fat. Uh, keep going. This is video. Yep. Ooh. Squirt, squirt all over you. We don't have to read it all. She's a nympho.

Yeah. También hablo español así que sin miedo que también los atendió. Sí. I'm out. I'm in. I've been doing... I can do my my Duolingo with her while I'm fucking her. Go down, keep going down. Let's get to a lot of filter.

God. A lot of filter. That's a demon. That's not a guy. No, that's just chubby guy. Jacob, you don't know what a guy and a girl is, do you? I guess not. Jacob, I'm getting convinced that you don't fucking know the difference between a man and a woman.

That looks like Lewis. Yeah, come on, Jay. That's a woman, dude. I might be on this one. It's a highly filtered woman. That is not a woman. She has possessed eyes. She's ugly.

What is that? That's her sucking a cock. Oh, God. Oh, it's her own cock. Oh, no. But impressive. Nope. That's a girl, unfortunately.

Yeah. Sorry, Jacob. She's off Roancock. Oh, no. But impressive. Nope. That's a girl, unfortunately. Yeah. Sorry, Jacob. She's off your wish list. Oh, God. Jacob likes ladies plus. Yeah, but Jay, you might like her.

She was doing tummy time. Most of those videos. I'm OK with it. I mean, this girl's shit. We like the same foods. Get rid of her. Yeah, I'm not into her. We gotta get to it. Can we get to it? Listen, there are too many good bodies with the... There's too many black women here. Here we go!

What about that girl right there? The girl with the fucking tattoos and shit. Yes, she's only back for a short time, so she wants to make it really wild. She's like the McRib. She's the prettiest woman all around you'll ever meet. Classy, elegant, feminine, respectful, a true woman in every aspect.

No free pictures. No AA, no AA. She's really not an AA, Bobby. Also no BB. No drama and also no cops. Go down, Christina, like to see some pictures? See some pictures of this tatted up? Okay, she's ugly for sure.

Keep going down. Those tattoos are mush. I think AA, I's ugly for sure. Keep going down, those tattoos are mush. I think AA, I was wondering if it did or didn't, but I think it means Asian American. No way. That's what it's saying. So she's racist? Cause when you say-

That's easy mode for a prostitute. No AA mean for escorts, and it just keeps coming up Asian American. I love that. I love you. That is so fucking wonderfully racist. is in all these ads I believe Wait go down go down a little bit Discussion about it. Oh, it says it can also be African American. Yeah now that makes sense that makes sense. That's a

Cuz they want their money. You know, I can want to get paid. They don't want to be negotiated down to 60 bucks from 400. They don't want someone coming in five minutes before closing, running their entire menu in the not tip. Just sit with their pussy open going, you buy something, you get out of the store. I've seen Keith negotiate a massage lady down from 150 to 60 bucks.

Keith Robinson is the reason we found out at 15th and Callahill in Philadelphia, you can walk into this place that said it was $125 and pay $70 and have them do the whole thing. It was great. And they always go, you're gonna go in there, then they're gonna say, next time, next time 125. And you just say yes.

I saw Patrice negotiate a meat pie and a piece of pizza at Ben's one night. The guy, he went, how much is it for a slice of pizza? He goes, two dollars. He goes, how much for a meat pie? Two dollars. How much for a half a meat pie and a half a slice of pizza? The guy was like, what?

And he negotiated him down. Ladies, a chest piece doesn't work on even the hottest girl and especially when it's that same shitty drawn diamond. Yeah, it's a huge diamond, It's too much. It's ugly We hear what she says though. Maybe she has a really pretty voice Hey, Kansas City. Yes, I'm real and rare come see me Let's go down and see the other pictures of her She has my asshole

Yeah, that's my butthole that's exactly it has like three different color changes I'm not gonna judge your asshole color, but just the whole thing all around is It should stop showing this off He's up You're gonna look outside lately, dude? Is that your sister? Oh. Oh. Oh. Ease up! Ease up! Ease up! Oh, Jesus effing Christ. I'll tell you what.

She's actually pretty. She's prettier than I thought. She falls off from the chin down. Yeah. That, that, oof. Yeah, she definitely had a complicated pregnancy at one point. Jacob, with your help, she could become something.

I can't help her. I can save her. Well, there's her number. She's also not into, I think that's bareback. Bareback, yeah. Bareback. Can respect that. We're bitch ass brothers.

She's not into drama. Hang on. Oh, let's see what's going on in Overland Park, that white ass. I like that blonde with the short hair. Wait, bareback is what? Bareback is no rubber. Oh, Jacob, you've never done this in your life.

With no rubber. Yeah. Bareback. Yeah, dude. Wait, you never had sex in a condom? Yeah, always. Never. No, no, what did you say?

I didn't know it was bareback. I thought it meant something with the back. Yeah, because you always jerk off with a condom on, just in case anyone's out there trying to get your seed. It's a great idea. Oh, Christine, a midget. Told you. There's a midget.

Bring up the midget. Fun size. None of these have videos, but I'll pull it up. It doesn't matter. Show me the pictures of her. Her rates better be half. She's not a midget. No, she's just small.

It's a normal person. It said midget. Go up. It said fun size. That means midget. It doesn't mean midget. I thought that's the nice way to say midget. It is the nice way to say midget, but in sex world it's just small.

She's just like a fire, she's just Jacob's dream. I like her. I like her. Well, Jacob, you like her? I ain't gonna lie. Jacob, you like her? Let me tell you a little something about her. Her name's Olivia.

All right. And she's in the midtown Westport area, downtown of Kansas City, for a quarter hour, I guess, 15 minutes, 150 bucks, half hour, 200 bucks, 45 minutes, 300, one hour, 350. Oh, that's if you go to her. Outcall an hour is going to cost you $400. She provides some other services with upcharge, including DFK, which is a... What is that? I don't know.

Don't fucking know. What? Girlfriend experience. Bear back blow job. She does provide that? Yes. Oh, that's good. That's good.

MSOG is my sauce over there. So, DFK is deep French kissing. Oh, Jacob, you could fall in love with her. If you get far back enough, you can almost taste the other guy's dickhead Why is it so salty down your throat? Oh, I'm backing up. Sorry Just open a chamber and like come drip down. It's like a oil change. You gotta like unclog her ass and old cum falls out She opens a chamber! I gotta change her cum. I Need to come change guys

Everything she will do the next thing rules the one thing she won't do is no Greek whatsoever What is MSO G MSO G means multiple shots on goal Jacob that means you could blow you could come more than once if you pay for the hour See a lot as a guy used to work in the prostitute world the hour is worthless What that means is you could get to 15 minutes? Whatever it's you got to come when you come she's not gonna be like you want to wait a second and go again They are done. You got they're leaving so all that time means Absolutely nothing at all. I'm gonna pass but why multiple shots on goal? What do you mean?

You don't want to come on different places. She has a face and tits You can come right away go make her a salmon dish with some vegetables Yeah, oh my god that would turn her on so much and then go shit across the street at a laundromat I don't understand Multiple shots on goals what you understand you can come multiple times on this one lady Come come come come come come come I get it you keep your eyes open to do it with anyone It would and of all of the ones you showed It would be her. When's your birthday?

October I'm gonna fly out to Kansas City Hey Jay don't have New York ones I Like the New York ones let me do a Queens one and really do this and send somebody over to Jacob's house? Olivia's not New York. No, let's do a queen. She's Kansas City. Go to one. Go to New York. Let's go to Queens Queens, New York Dining at the Y. Oh It means that she'll eat a girl's pussy. She'll eat a woman's pussy with her legs spread She won't do that?

She will for an upcharge. Christine, what do you think? What do you wait? Hang on. What do you think the why is? Dining at the why? How are you envisioning the why? Because her legs are spread.

What? That's what it means, right? Performing oral sex on a woman with her legs spread. Let me tell you something. Now I'm starting to think that I have it wrong, but I've always figured the why was a woman standing up and like the legs and the Pussy like me that's the why oh that's yeah that one makes sense, but it said leg spread Which is why I came to that conclusion you were right. I was wrong, but can't you how do you eat pussy without the leg spread?

You need them spruced in pivot can I have that as a drop? What for my own personal? Self-esteem you're right I was wrong. So when you're having a bad day you can just replay it on your fucking headphones. Christine I told you I told you you were right I told you were right several times but those most of them is when you were telling me you were wrong and I'm like you're right yeah that's probably my fault. That is your fault. Dining at the Y. Num num num. So you can make out with her too. That's called Deep, Deep what's that?

Deep French Kiss. For an upcharge. It's going to be a little more, but Jake I'm telling you, Places to Kansas City aren't that bad. Well now you do. Jacob's going to need the Deep French Kiss. He's going to need to kiss them. I'll throw in on top for the DFK. I like that.

Now, can we do a favor? Wait, what's BBBJ? This is a little, bareback blow job, Kristine. I mean, god damn it, write it down. Can you, by the way, her word, she goes, I see all race. You know what's funny, when someone says, I don't see race, she sees nothing but that. Just lead with your race.

Hey, I'm white J. Kristine, now, I gotta be honest, let's get away from Olivia. Let's get this to Queens. Let's take this to Queens, New York. So they really put in there no African Americans. It would appear so. That's crazy.

Well, it's a tipping culture. Prostitution's a tipping culture. Especially on Black History Month. We owe owe them because you got calls all night You don't have time to fix your hair in between appointments after you've had a Timberland on your head the whole time Okay, Sunday fun day in call let's see what that's all about. Oh, there's video Ari, baby Oh that body's only 22 wait before you go there Let me read hey gentlemen. It's your lovely aria. She didn't know how to spell it out in the other thing Best young tight wet pussy in town real throat goat, baby eggplant winky face

It's a great name pre booking pre booking. I like throat goat shirt that says that it's big. Oh, yeah for sure I want to say it's come pig Is available loves to travel so Jacob you can guys can go to Florida constantly together She has a soft Latina ass pretty feet great hygiene and attitude upscale gentleman only which you are Just make sure you show her dandy Jacob not fucking rugged Yellowstone Jacob let me make your night baby drippy winky face come release all that stress you have been holding in and then she's crying because there's come shooting at her I think please be clean and respectful kissy face let's video call to verify and send a selfie and I mean you jumping

through hoops here fetish friendly feet Please be discreet. Oh my god. Oh my god face keep my mouth shut squirty facetime shows and exclusive custom content available No girlfriend experience. No bareback. No African Americans Jamaica Queens, let's see what we're dealing with Jacob that we take her on a trip Okay She seems pretty cute. She looks like she could fight Really? She's gonna cut me. It looks like DJ Lew would lay down on train tracks for That's her

Okay, now she does have a pussy that looks like, it's discoloration from what I can only assume is aggressive massive cock poundings. She's wearing the wrong nylons. It looks like she has spider webs on her pussy. Oh, see I don't mind that as much as I do the, what would you call that, like a mauve or like a taupe? Yeah, it's a romp.

Cue to her pussy. It's permanent bruising from being smashed apart by cocks. Uh, DJ Lou, you'll see his backing me up and nodding his head as he has, uh, been the fallback for a lot of women who have had their pussies destroyed by larger ethnicity men. I've seen that before. Yes. Yes, he's like, oh shit. No AA, no DJ Lou.

Yeah. DJ Lou's got these, he's got a lot of pussies. Like, I'm gonna put some sand back in this punching bag. This thing, I gotta get this thing filled. Keep going. She'll travel with you to Florida, dude. I don't want her to. I'm afraid all the shit she's doing like... What if she's a crack shot on iguanas?

She'll know how to cook the iguana. By the way, when we were in Miami, Florida, me, Butter Lee, and Fennoy were in Florida, there was an iguana that was across, like the, what do you call it, swamp from us? Or like a little canal, like a canal from us? Yeah, yeah, a canal. And it was crazy looking,

and I reminded everybody many times that you can murder them whenever you want to. On site. On site. And this one was really, I mean, it was like a lion. It was beautiful, big colors and... Those are the ones you want to kill. I know. Those are the ones that are... That's your real trophy. Yeah, that's the trophy. And they're the ones that are fucking. They're the breeders. How many have you killed?

I mean, I usually take out one every time I go down to Florida. A big, like... Sometimes two. That's like an uncle's apartment iguana I've taken out an iguana that size. You've killed an iguana that size. They're in my back parents backyard I just take my we can let me eat his parents. Would you prefer they eat the batata? This is such a big thing to kill, you know, no, you just put one right in their head in their brain batata I've got a gun. I have a video you want to see my kill? I would love to see you kill a lizard right now. You use a pellet gun.

They have a high-powered pellet gun that's right through their brains. That's crazy. Have you thought about maybe just coming behind one and taking its throat? Like in Davy's Seal? And then you shush it, the whole weight goes down. I think their spikes give you...

You don't want to get stuck by it. Um... How was the cruise, by the way? Well, wait don't want to get stuck by it. How was the cruise, by the way? Well, I want to find Jacob a love of his life in Queens. We went over to Lizard's now. I don't know. Which that lizard looks like that last girl's vagina, by the way. Yeah, that vagina wasn't good. Christine, back to you.

By the way, I'm not saying it's crazy to kill them. I was thinking about double foot stomping on them everywhere I went. I just thought it was weird to use a gun. Maybe like a giant wooden mallet or something. No, the gun's fun. Do you think buying ammunition for these guys? Do you think murdering them like a hooker is better than shooting them in the head? Grab them by the tail and smash them against the house.

I'm sure I could do it. I'd feel weird about it. I'd get over it shooting it. But what would be fun was most was, I mean almost particularly, that thing across canal so bright so visible just get that thing your cross-airs I would have been pretty fucking fun. I know but here's the thing once I hit it and start like reacting to it I'd be like oh Drops into the canal. I don't shoot unless I know I'm putting it down immediately hang on Christine think she found you another possible suitor

Hang on Christine thinks she found you another possible suitor Where is this from though, where is this her body her body is thin already It's Queen's she knows her body is thin and she's got a monkey hiding eyes. Her service is big-toothed hmm Best blow job. I don't know what that means Be BJ maybe it's bare blow job as as bear blow job girlfriend experience squirter. She'll dine at the Y which I think means now means you can eat her pussy. Yeah. Oh, you can eat the Y. Yeah. And dog and she'll have sex with animals and she'll also fuck your dog. She fucks homeless

guys. My dog dines at the Y dogs very daty Go down and see some pictures. Oh, she's named to Berheeska now. She's killing Christ Wow Now she's cute. I think she wants citizenship Jacob I'm a citizen She's young just like you like she's 21 she likes to wear full dungaree outfits She's seen the horrors of war Yeah, she's like yeah Names like numnuska She's seen the horrors of war age She was taken from Paris around five years ago

She's thrown into a van by Arab men. I say something about this. This is a prostitute site She'll tell you the thing she does it wasn't too crazy and She she doesn't have one dirty pic. There's other girls that have just a chugging cock on these pictures. She's a nice girl That's taking the phone no she's independent in it. Yeah It's the guana juice All right, go back go back. Let's find somebody else. I like that. You shoot these girls in the head Jacob Is that what I there we go? There she is big bubbly booty and pretty face Jacob. This is you I'm so glad you found me squirt. What is that dirty mind of yours thinking? Candy

Maybe an oopsie. I'd love to help you out but you have to use your words candy tell me what you want candy squirt always I read every emoji as it's always fetish kink friendly so don't be afraid to ask squirt I offer a whole list of things so tell me what that lovely brain of yours is thinking candy or simply ask for a menu candy Customs are my absolute favorite thing so let your imagination run wild. I love to make this fat pussy come Squirt squirt squirt list of videos you could buy Triangle triangle triangle squirting feet feet emoji jerk off instructions, I knew what that meant.

SPH, I don't know what that is. Anal, we all know what that is. Deep throat with a what face. Dominatrix, humiliation training while you point at someone who's crying. I love her emoji work is fantastic. It's insane. Gagging is just an emoji throwing up.

Fendom is we learned, that's financial domination, which makes me laugh. Body worship, scat, so she will get involved in shit. Ask about her custom videos and shows. Don't be afraid to ask for what you don't see. Judgment free zone, Jacob. So SPH is small penis humiliation. You're in.

I? You're in. That's so funny toiliation. You're in. I? You're in. That's so funny to me. I love that. $5 only. You can join her OnlyFans for $5. Her OnlyFans handle, Chocohontas. Her name is Libertay, named after Dave Special.

Go down. Let's go down and see some pictures of her there. She is Dude her ass touches in four different parts. Oh god. I don't hear the slap Lou, please Alright, okay, I'm gonna explain this happen brain So that was a big moment here in the studio. I'm never having fucking pork again. Oh my god. Geez Louise. She's got a Zoidberg body. Something leaks out of her asshole.

No no no no no no. Something leaks out of her asshole. And she also has, if you look Bobby, she's got, what do you call it, skin tags around her asshole. Look, look, look. I can't. Look. She has skin tags above her asshole. Ah! What a pig. Kill it! You skin tags above her asshole. Ah! Kill it! Whoa. You should be able to shoot those in Florida.

Bobby. Oh, dude, look at that. Bobby, while you're dining at the Y, you can tie dental floss around her skin tags. And in a couple days, no, listen, in a couple days, once you kill the blood source, Bobby, there. Who would pay for that? Jacob.

Me for Jacob Oh showing was that the lady it was in the scat. She's only online after all that is that a cow hoof or is that somebody's ass? That is someone's ass, but this that's a good question though. Holy shit You go and keep going. No. That one's a cartoon. Go ahead right there. Limited time. BBW playmate with a fat pretty pussy. A story of Queens one of them was it. Yeah right here. My neighbor. You've heard about mixed girls right? Heart. I'm always discreet, drama free, sweet and wild and will always leave you with a smile. Heart. Heart cute, playful, erotic, exotic.

100% satisfaction guaranteed. 100% real photos, so Jacob, these are not gonna be doctored. What you see is what you're gonna get here. And 100% independence, you don't have to worry about anybody coming to kill you. Yeah, you don't have to worry about like a big J being out the door. Worst case scenario is a big J.

And I'll tell you what, I wasn't ready to die for that job. Fetish, party- party friendly caters to mature gentlemen Sexy and classy dangerously addicting and facetime verifies you know you're getting is right she's fetish friendly greek friendly that means you can fuck her Ass no bear you gotta use a condom and no bear blowjob All right diamond banks let's see the pictures Jacob Let this girl move in tomorrow I know she cooks good she will appreciate your little snacks you make she looks like a honey-baked ham I'm pretty sure I saw that hanging in an Italian deli window

why she wrapped like Jewish chocolate money Jesus Christ that is uh and she's frozen in that busy Oh, oh her ass is coming through the thing it looks that is oh my god. That's the out That's the outside of boars head ham yeah That's the honey baked yeah, you're right damn. I want to cut into that with an electric knife Play-doh extruder oh yeah, yeah Damn Oh, yeah, yeah Damn she's baking a nice bread Black Lou you love it I'm back in right now. Yeah now that he knows if you pour a little honey on that

Alright, good. Is there more of her? It can't just be it can't just be pictures of her back fat slash tits She looks like a quilt. I Mean if I gotta say something nice what? She has nipples why is she wearing those fishnets because it's hilarious Her getting in those and trying not to break them as she put them on must have been fucking taxing Yeah, or maybe it's like much. Maybe it's a much thicker wire having a Christmas tree All right indeed everybody Tim butterly's hanging out with us today

You can check out the Tim butterly show and dad meet available wherever you listen to podcasts and Tim's gonna be at wise guys In Las Vegas March 7th and 8th for a ticket and all other tour dates. Visit TimButterly.com And of course, Robert Kelly. Know everybody's. You did it right at the beginning. Did I? Right at the beginning. Everybody! But just once? One time.

Robert Kelly's gonna be at Governor's in Levittown, New York, February 7th and 8th. After that he's gonna be in Naples, Philadelphia and Denver. And you can catch him every Tuesday night at 7pm at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Seller for tickets and all tour dates go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly and check out subscribe immediately over at his YouTube Robert Kelly Comedy over YouTube make sure you subscribe to that and Big J is gonna be at the Funny Bone in Orlando 7th February 7th and the 8th and then Syracuse February 14th and the 15th after that in Los Angeles putting out the fires maybe lighten some new ones

with this comedy yeah I'll piss him out and Ontario California Indianapolis Baltimore for tickets and all the tour dates bigj comedy.com and check out punchup.live slash big J Okerson what's And also, I think this is the 50th time I said this is official, but I believe February 20th, Thursday, February 20th will be the release of the first half of Them Day. Them coming out on YouTube. Stay tuned for that. Got a trailer coming out soon. We'll be right back, everybody.

It's the Bonfire. Everybody. Hahaha.