The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dirty Diver with Ron Bennington

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

Radio legend Ron Bennington hangs for the whole show as Bobby is out with a mysterious illness. Both Ron and Jay are from Philly and are cautiously optimistic about the Eagles in the big game. Ron remembers when his radio partner was on the brink of losing his mind. Jay tells a childhood story of making sex tapes with his girlfriend. Jacob once took a panic poop in front his diving team comprised of attractive females. Ron Bennington is hosting The New York Comedy All Stars on Feb 5th at the Hard Rock Cafe in NYC. Robert Kelly is also the line up! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly man Nothing better than a little buddies watching you and then one poor. It was the entire black players grouping of the team and one white guy It's from the 80s when the Philadelphia Eagles Well, it's not the whole team. There was laws against having an entirely black team, I believe. But it's most of the let's just call it the rhythm section of the 1980s Philadelphia Eagles. Decided to cut a track.

But they were still doing that early rep. So every football team, do you ever see the one I think is from the 80s, with the Rams and they're just basically yelling Ram it over and over? No, we went through a couple years back, there's a bunch of these they tried where the team gets together. Now the Eagles pull together to make Christmas albums. Sure, and help kids. It does help kids, right? Yeah.

I hope. If you just say you're helping kids, you can get away with a lot of cringy shit 100% Absolutely, they helped both my kids Got both of them mustangs so yeah, you can't beat that. I'm doing gay only fans, but yeah, I'm giving it all for kids I Mean I'm taking it for me. Yeah, but then I'm giving it to the kids Oh, you got to be careful when you're saying you've given it to the kids. Oh right. The money. Yeah the money I'm giving my dirty gay money to the kids. It's the bonfire faction talk serious XM 103 I'm Big Jay Okerson Robert Kelly is melting from the inside we thought it would get better from yesterday it has not from what I

understand it was feeling better he made it halfway down and he had a I might shittle over my car moment and he turned around and I went back home which is which is okay we lost that Ron's mic Is it shitty chords? We're good we're back what kind of state studio you guys have shitty one They don't care about us. So I heard that Bobby didn't make the layoffs. I thought that The mega laughs yeah, have you now I started saying this the other day oh me and Bobby, I feel, yourself, we're on air talent. They need the dogs, so we're here. But I worry about everybody else in this room.

Coming in and shaving the show. That's right. They could say, like, who's it? Probably only one or two. But Bobby probably clears out that amount for himself if he doesn't come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, if Bobby's, if this stomach bug takes him away,

I think it seems it's going to. It's going. He's going a long way. But I don't know if I'm a just yell it out to the world by myself guy. I don't have that. Do you, Bill Byrd did that for a little bit? Did you do any shows like that ever, just you completely?

I know you had Fez forever and then- Well, when I had Fez, I was I had Fez I was doing okay buddy how you all right yes everybody wants to hear you say hi I was only I hate to say that with Fez I was only around for his anxious years. Oh, yeah well that was Actually in in hindsight he was always in his action anxious years, but it only Collapsed let's say the last nine Every contract thing I go I feel like he's bouncing

I feel like we're getting a real bounce right now He also at one point this year. I don't know how long this was or was until he left New York But of places he chose to live like to be a Antisocial like hermit. Mm-hmm that he was kind of letting himself fall into he went like Roosevelt Island Didn't he live on Roosevelt Island scariest Like the scariest place in New York City just because it's empty and only a mental asylum hospital I think.

But you know what? There was something about it like it's close. You know what I mean? It was always nice and it was close. True. If ever we're gonna bounce over to the asylum. Because I remember he did a couple different NUT huts and he would be in there for like a week or two, right?

Oh, he checked himself in the place. Oh yeah, a couple times. And then I would come in and he was like, I've been water coloring. I go, don't show that to me. That isn't fucking helping us, you know? You're becoming a patient. Yeah.

You don't mean too much. He's sitting there with no shoelaces and a roll ball and look what I did. I go, let with no shoelaces and a robe on. Look what I did. I go, let this fucking lady tell you you're doing great. It's been the longest intro ever, everybody. But you know that voice and you love him, everybody. Wednesday, February 15 to 7 PM.

Sorry, my bad. You son of a bitch. Wednesday, February 5 to 7 PM, he's going to be hosting the New York Comedy All-Stars at the Hard Rock Cafe with Bobby Kelly, Bonnie McFarlane, Keith Robinson and Joe List. Get your tickets now at NewYorkComedyAllStars.com It is the legend, the great Ron Bennington everybody. Good to see you. Yeah, damn, that's so funny. This is a Deb gig that she put together, right? So she goes, would you want to do it?

I go, let's do it with all the faction talk guys see everybody wants to come over but you were busy and then Jim just left so it's basically me and Bobby it is I get Sam Roberts up there and the gang I don't know if everybody's into a lot of wrestling I bet Eddie trunk you think anybody's in talking to a guitar tech fit for rat now All right, everybody settle down for my two-hour in-depth interview with the guy from trickster You know all those bands that No, there's a there's a real window that I missed that I kind of got out of Like hair metal. I liked the the guys I liked. Poison, for sure.

Guns N' Roses, if it gets lumped in there. Few songs by Warren. You know, I had my guys. But I didn't get into like the deeper like Tricksters and like Kicks and those kind of bands. I don't know any deep tracks. But it's funny to mention that because I just

did Shiprocked again, which is a cruise ship with a bunch of bands on it. And it's the bands that were big I didn't know because I'm too, like I just missed them, I think. Or they're just too young and I don't know who they are at all. There's no sweet spot. There's nobody for you with me Well pod I got to enjoy pod for a little bit and I'll tell you something. He's still got it

PODs still swinging it whatever they had whatever they had. Yeah, he grew his dreadlocks back. That was big smart move That's a big move. You get rid of those dreadlocks. It's your whole thing Rage against the machine did that you ever thoselocks, like this guy's not pissed off anymore. He's got product in his hair. You know what's really funny about them and anybody that was a gangster rock, it was like they were a gangster rap. All of them were just playing characters,

you know what I mean? Oh yeah. Like they're Kiss, and at the time, like Public Enemy, I'm like, we're fucked, dude. I mean, they're in at the time like public enemy. I'm like we're fucked dude Ready to go and they're coming they're mobilized and double a They're on fucking both coasts, and then you know you turn around and they're just Entertainers just regular guys. I know and you get their histories and you're like they're entertained They're really it's almost like they're forced to do the job Morant thing

You know what John Morant goes through in the NBA like as he grew up like he went to good schools and Lived I think in a fine neighborhood from what I understand like and now these guys are like You're not acting black at all. He's like you want me to pull a gun out in the club I'll do it. I'll do it. You want me to drive around shooting the air out of a convertible I'll do it. You want me to drive around shooting the air out of a convertible? I'll do it and he gets in trouble Could you imagine if I said this so many times if Alan Iverson was in the air of social media? He'd have played two years if I mean even then he only barely hung on every summer

Every summer in Phil you get news It was two-day news always Alan Iverson pulled out of a car guns It was two-day news always Alan Iverson pulled out of a car guns Drugs a naked lady. Yeah a guy in the trunk tied up and then they go It was his friend Because now is always somebody, you know, crazy or something like that quasi Yeah, he couldn't like he was like a basketball player that had eight guys With them at all times and none of them were on his team you know what I mean none of them had

anything to do with basketball. No not at all. He bought, do you remember the Adams-Marc Hotel? Yeah. That was City Line Avenue right there by the news stations. His first three years of playing his rookie contract he rented the top floor of the Adams mark hotel and stay and had his mom and everyone he knew from Newport News, Virginia Live on the top floor that hotel and they would fuck up the TGI Fridays in the parking lot They would go there nightly. I was like, oh they hated it. They're like they made money Yeah, you earned your money that night. Yeah. No one had respect and no one had cameras. There wasn't a thing like that.

This was no worry. How tall was he? Was he? Five ten. Was he five ten and played like that? Yeah. He was like everybody that was good in the same person and they couldn't get a championship. I know, but that game was the championship stepped over to wrong Lou. Yeah

Went right at Shaq to score at the basket a few times and they want to double overtime and then it was a sad Sad form that just woke the Lakers up and they just beat them in four consecutive games terribly We went out at my mom's house, or I guess we're at my house at the time, and me and my friends got, hey mom, do we need this bed sheet? No, okay. And we lived in a subdivision at that point, so it had an entrance way, and we put a sheet up at the entrance way

and got spray paint, and did Sixers Lakers, and then the first day, Sixers scratched off that window. at the fourth day. No one put the fourth X to go take the fucking thing down But it gets like buddy you're showing us why are these guys actually going out and putting the X's on for all these laws But I'm against like three games to one you like just take the down, man. The odds are against at this point. The truth is, if you're any kind of sport fan, one team, one city celebrates, and everybody else is miserable.

Everybody else is miserable. And here, like, so many people hate the Chiefs that they should all be cheering the Eagles. They're not. Because of the fans. They hate the fans. I know, we have a prison system right inside our like stadium which is pretty awesome I mean it's a terrible stain on the city and the people yeah of the city but it's

pretty neat just to have that kind of notoriety but I've gone the games in the past when's the last time you went to a game it's been years I've gone the games in the past five years several times and I will say there the energy is different it's not the the savage that it was. Right. Ticket prices. It's what it is yeah it's so everybody comes like there's I mean I see guys in the other team's jersey walking with their buddies I mean it's it's a nice little light razing. But the one that always got me was that I happened to be at the game, Michael Irvin's

last game, when they stretched him out and they put him on the stretcher and as he was leaving they were cheering, like giving him, they were giving him applause for like, you know, great, you know, you're a great player, we hope you get better sooner. And when he gave the thumbs up they booed. And then I took Christine to a game years ago Nick Folz I think what I think Victor Cruz was their receiver at the time who was really good yeah fucked his leg up bad in a play and they know down there take him off in the field in the stretcher and everyone's like cheering clapping for

him as he's going off and I'm giving her the stupid like I'm like whoo Christine wait for it as soon as he gives a signal to the audience, dude They're gonna be like fuck you you piece of shit And then he he put his thumb up and they just cheered him right into the room Yeah, and this city's got an artsy fartsy So many college kids here now, you know, the Lions were just Complaining about that. They had all their fans, the hardcore fans are out because the team's winning.

So when the team started winning, all these people come in from the suburbs, buy extra tickets, they're setting up a little fucking picnic glass for themselves. It's ridiculous. I mean, I appreciate walking by, or maybe even being invited to a high level tailgate But I judge this shit of the person throwing it. It's too much effort. Yeah, why you got a chandelier?

You're not wrong It's too it just burners you have to bring like a high level explosive gas with you to a place or you own an RV and you bring the whole thing and you take up 11 spaces because you're making your own fucking grilled cheeses or something, it's like a fish concert. You got an RV. You shit together. But nobody can shit in it. You know what I mean, what's the whole point then?

Here's the thing, if you got burners out there, you should be smoking crack. You know what I mean? Yeah, really. Let's fucking show these guys, we're not playing around. Let's do it right. Here's the thing if you got if you got burners out there, you should be smoking crack Show these guys we're not playing around let's do it right I was roasting the whole pig in a grocery cart. Yeah He was he was also cooking it on the train Yeah with the fire. Yeah, the whole thing. No one says a word. No, they were all getting little pieces of fucking pork My favorite was the guy who shot the gun in the air. Yeah, that was the best because

Nobody ran no one ran. No one ran. No one gave a shit. Yeah Go Bards go Bards go Bards One guy fell off a thing and died. Can I ask you this though? Me and you, I wonder if we have the same feeling here. The last two times we went to the Super Bowl, very, very exciting. I was super amped up. We won the year with Nick Foles. And I had a weird feeling like later that night even. That was just like a calming thing. I'm like, man, that was really fun. What a fun season but it is a hundred percent reflective only now and you're immediately back to zero zero

Of course, it's such a it just moves on so so quick You might be the worst team next year then they had a terrible Meltdown they come back when they won when they were going to the Super Bowl. I had much more of like a Yeah, this is what we're supposed to do here. I don't know if I, I don't have the same. Well, you also, you're still, you know, you ate that first Super Bowl with Foles, right? You finally got to eat.

That's what I mean, yeah. So now you're like, yeah, you know, this is nice. Like, wouldn't mine have a little snack? Yeah. You know, the Chiefs don't mind. Mahomes is willing to fuck up once in his life He fucks up plenty the referees don't tell him. That's the problem Do you are you one of those people that believes that you it's all rigged? No, I don't have no

I don't think it's all rigged I think but I mean superstar calls which is a sports thing in general and I think like the Chiefs as a unit in the playoffs this year have gotten like And I'm not even rooting against them or far I'm like if we're gonna go to the Super Bowl I'd rather I want to beat another dynasty we already did it yeah we already took Brady out send it will haul their city fuck out of there yeah they won a championship there someone was saying how much does bill Belichick suck that

guy doesn't even get offers for jobs. Well, you know, I mean, he's got a nice young girlfriend. Yeah. And now he's at a college where I would be a little concerned if I was his boss. I'm like, dude, you know, this is it. The one you've got you can keep, but you can't get a second one. You can't come in for dubs.

That girl has, I've said this many times too, I appreciate the guy who can go, yeah yeah look, I get it, she has to hold her mouth shut from vomiting when she sees my naked body, but I do get to fuck her and she gets half my money and whatever. I couldn't get past that. Well now I just saw a thing yesterday that more women are doing the baby girl thing and more middle aged women are with young dumb fucking dudes now than ever in history. The young dudes are getting the older women.

Yeah, well it's really the older women getting the young dudes. Kate Beckinsdale, she ran through a who's who of young comedy. Yeah, and who'd she have besides Pete? Um, what was it? Jeff Dye, I think. I might be wrong about that, but I'm pretty sure, but there was like two others. Matt Reif, I think, also. Oh, Matt Reif, of course.

Yeah, the obvious, for sure. It's not like she's with Stavie, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to hear something crazy? Yeah. It's not like she's with Stavvy baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to hear something crazy? Stavros. Stavros is banging Miley fucking Cyrus. I've always, my impressive thing with that, with these young guys getting the old celebrity girls particularly is I couldn't imagine what kind of nervous dick I would have, like breaking

the barrier, like oh wow, Kate Beckinsale from Underworld, she she's so hot yeah man she seems to be hanging out oh my god we're making out like is Kate Beckinsale sucking my cock right yeah just like what this is crazy you're describing a bad childhood you're one of those kids who's like I'm not sure if Santa's coming this year. Did your mom tell you? Goes, baby, one day, if you want Kate Beckinsale to suck your dick, she will. My mom didn't fill me with that kind of promise. Yeah, well, you know, my mom told me

I could have Farrah Fawcett. So, that happened. You could get Farrah Fawcett if you wanted. No, I never, I did, I guess, swing for the fences. I could swing for the fences with girls if I had to have no actual contact. Could not take in a direct rejection. But I'd write a note to anybody.

Now, were you in third grade or fourth? Let's call this probably up to and including the good old 11th grade. So you would pass a note in high school. Before a 22-year-old woman finally said, hey, can I make you not a homo in a hotel real quick? And I said, yes. And then she fixed everything.

Where did you meet her? She was my adult, my 22-year-old neighbor who was living with her uncle and aunt. Aunt was the blood relative. Uncle molesting her from childhood into the 22 that I met her at. Now I think that's a bad, bad guy. That guy's a bad guy. Mm-hmm.

But? But butterfly effect ended up with me having sex with this niece so I don't know if I trade one for the other here's the thing you probably look creepy enough for her this guy is not a good guy well I give them three pumps in a dump she did yeah she was She said she was having sex with me based on the, her concept was like, you're a great dude, and you have to get some confidence. And like, she basically, I'll put a little stick

on it for you. She was cute. I liked her a lot. And, but she was just like, no, no, no. We're just like, well fuck. Yeah. Here and there. And we fucked like a number of times. And then I asked the girl out and she said yes.

And then I went back and told her, like I was like, it worked. And she was devastated. The problem was the day I chose to tell her was the day I was picking her up to take her to a barbecue at my white trash uncle's house, above ground pool party. And also meeting us there will be my new girlfriend. And she was very upset that I had a new girlfriend.

It was a very, very awkward day. But my white trash family almost threw the new girl in the above ground pool. I had to physically pull her away from four toothless guys. I made the mistake of telling her that she was a former Miss Belmar, New Jersey. Nice. Now we're talking. They go, someone put Miss Belmar in the drink.

And then they grab their ankles and things. And I had to hold her from the middle. And the girl I lost my virginity to was really having a good, enjoying that. She was the life of the party. Now were they thrown in a pool or gang rape? What was happening exactly? Because I know you were a little naive still at this time. Well, I was a little naive.

I think it was starting off with get her in the pool. Then when the shirt see-through, she's asking for it. Right, she's begging for it. She's begging for it. Why would she show us her tits and wear that see-through shirt if she knew we were going to throw her in that pool? You ever stop back and check on the molested girls the years went by? No, lost touch. Completely lost touch. Yeah, it's kind of sad. I've looked for her I think online before. She might be married or something. She was doing good.

She was in... it was the most bizarre... talk about that psychology, that weird shit. It was happening since she was a kid, right? Yeah. And then was away from him, you know what I mean? Like they moved to kind of different places in South Jersey. And then she chose, because it was closer to a nursing school, she went to Hahnemann. It was closer there, she decided to live with them,

because it was easier. Well, I mean, she hates to commute. You gotta understand that. She does not. She's just, I mean, she hates the commute. You gotta understand that. She does not want to catch a bus. She's too white for the train. She was a grateful dead chick. And she's still bitching about it though, huh? No, no.

I found out in like a cataclysm, like crazy way. She was at my house. I think we were in my room, maybe even making out or so. It was like, and she gets a call. My mom yells up. She goes, Hey, you've got a, your uncle's calling on the line. He lived next door. This guy was an older, he was a little guy, old smoked cigars, shaved bald head, and he dressed like Gallagher. And he was like, he used to be a merchant Marine. He dressed like big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,

big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, gets on the phone she goes hey oh okay okay yeah I'll be right there okay and then uh she left and my mom was like yo I didn't hang up the phone when she picked up and he was like yeah doctor says I need a sperm sample to give to him for son you know come over here and help me out with that or something and all I on my end all I heard to go, yep, I'll be right there. And she ran over there.

So still, like, 22 was still happening. Well, I mean, she was good around the house, I guess. Yeah, I mean, she must have done something. She always gone to nursing, you know what I mean? This is really figuring it all out. But look, our session's just about up, today. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Our session is just about up, Che. Yeah. That was the same girl that I told a story on Ari's thing where I went, she eventually moved back with her family and I went to go hook up with her there and I was dealing with, my last name's not Jewish, but her father was like hardcore, like Nazi sympathizer, like he was like super into that shit and really anti-Jewish. And instead of telling them that I was Jewish, I thought I was getting back at him by fucking his daughter to the Forrest Gump soundtrack

upstairs. You know what, a lot of people would appreciate what you were doing there. I think so. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like you came through for the tribe. I think so. I think so. For all those ladies pr in their fingers to put blood on their cheeks

So they look pretty for the guys so they wouldn't kill him I fucked that girl right in her Nazi dad's house while he was downstairs experimenting on rats or something Did you ever what's the most you put up with a girl something because you wanted to fuck her like But I mean in particular, I want to do this if we're going to hang out, like, tonight. What's, like, the, you're, like, overlooking, like, a flat earther or something? Like, sure, okay.

The first girl that I was with was a, she was a big girl. And it was in the summer, we were in a cottage where people were sleeping all around. Were you a big kid? No, not at that time. There's different times that I came in and out, you understand how the wardrobe changes.

This was a particularly good growth year. And she had so much powder on her body that it dried my entire fucking mouth out. And she was like years older than me. And then she fucking grabbed my dick like I'd stole something. And I'm like, I'm staying. I'm fucking staying.

This was like, fuck. Couldn't fuck. All I wanted was a fucking glass of water the whole time I was there. Not a good situation, but you move on from there. Yeah, did you hook up with her again? No, that was it one day only one night summer love affair is kind of like the movie Grease Like I thought when I got back to school, maybe she'd be there, but she was a teacher's age My cousin had a friend who whacked me off in a car once and she heavy powder also. That's one that I remember always. Powder.

Powder. Yeah. You shouldn't finger a girl and smell powder. It was fucking wacky. But that was a girl, she whacked me off and stared at me in the face the entire time. A no break eye contact, looking for eye contact that I was not giving except for like the accidental fourth wall break yeah and then I asked her what what's happening and she said that she really loves to watch guys when they come which was a crazy thing for a And, well, yeah, but who was her uncle? We never know. We never know. Maybe she's not a blabbermouth.

Uh... I like to stare at guys like, what an uncomfortable thing. I feel like it's, uh, I feel like it's a good gimmick, though. You know what I mean? I mean, she's sitting there, she's just locked in,

waiting for you to come, and you just say, this is it, enjoy. Enjoy my face. I don't mind a couple of glances. A couple of sexy glances almost. Don't wink. That's not a good look. Don't look up at me for sucking my dick and give me a wink.

And keep the powder off my balls, would you please? Just all powdered up. Although I have to assume through the years, the girls tasted lotion on my bag or something like that. Oh, sure. For sure. Maybe an Oxy-Pad that I do after I shave my balls, make sure nothing, no ingrown hairs come in.

But also just how filthy young boys are, and you're still ready to fucking rock, and you got fucking holes in your underwear. You know what I mean? Just fucking looking like an animal. I was always so worried about that. I was over clean on that. But I'm trying to think of, I must have presented... I must have presented hairy balls to some chicks in my life when I was younger.

I'm trying to think of the age I changed it around. I don't remember a switch over, but I definitely remember my ex-girlfriend right after high school having a lot of like, that's when the handy cam came out. So you'd start filming yourself fucking a little bit, and many a blowjob video was ruined by her spending time with her pinky in the back of her tongue, going,

kak, kak, hang on, no, it's right there, kak, kak. And you're like, and you'd hear me go, you're ruining the video. I'm whispering like it's not being picked up. Ruin this. Do you know how much these super-rate tapes cost? Just the fact that you were so deranged that even at that age, you're ready to go in for it.

It was wild. Was that because early internet? Not internet, but I was able to get my hands on pornography pretty young. When I'd go to my dad's, I'd find he had some. My grandmother had a tenant living in a room in the basement with my uncle's friend, and he was in his 20s, I guess, at the time. I could break into his room, porn videos in there.

Then my buddy got a job at a newsstand, and it was, that was it. You were off to the races. Off to the races, because then every month when they don't sell, they're like, you can take whatever you want, and he would just go get twos of like every high society and cherry magazine and wee and whatever awful thing was out there.

So I had a lot of porn pretty young. So yeah, I was pretty raring to go. You know, here's the funny thing about that early porn. They were still doing storylines. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There was still a huge backstory, we're at work, blah, blah, blah.

None of that exists anymore. Now there's some flirting for a few scenes first. Yeah, that's it. Maybe it gets there. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you talk to the older poor, I've interviewed several of the legends doing the SDR show for years and like They talk about a very different time than when they do like hot girl wanted like remember that was that a Netflix?

Document or something where it's like, all right girls Everybody pick a mattress on the floor and live like pieces of shit and then but here's like a here's like a dress to wear To this ball you're gonna go fuck guys and film it, whatever. Dude, those things too, like the Hot Girls Wanted, like those Miami porn things. All still gone, but those, the original girls are like, we were movie stars. Limos everywhere, and like making money

where they did have like beautiful houses and stuff and all live like this light It's not like now It's like a thousand dollars we come here and let these two black guys walk in a room and just start Shuffing cocking you and I gotta tell you I'm here for it. It's exclusively what I watch almost But you're right. There is no argument anymore. There was those directors. That's the boogie nights thing, right? No, I'm making art. Don't you understand? I'm fucking doing something.

Yeah. But I didn't even know, like, until I moved to Florida, that pretty girls stripped. You know what I mean? Because there used to be, there used to be a place up near the Tinnacum Swamps, somewhere near the fucking airport, and there would, you'd go in there as a kid,

and there would be two big girls, and they were there for the next five hours. Nothing changed. And then there was a chick that was in Philly, and they would push her, but she was like really fucking crazy, right? Like she would put peanut butter in her fucking pussy and blow it out at the guys and stuff like that.

And you're like, we're high school. That's terrible, that's thick. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Thick peanut butter. I know, and it shot and everybody, it was also funny. Everybody was laughing and fucking high-fiving. But they announce her, and she comes out on stage

with the broom handle up into her pussy, and she's just sweeping the floor. Like, I don't know, like she worked there. And I'm like, man, sex is ugly, huh? Huh, guys? Yeah, Philly, I assume there was, especially there was airport Philly once. It's mostly novelty act.

Right. Like, you're not gonna get a lot, it's like, this is a girl who's willing to do it. And look, yeah, it's kind of funny. She could take her glass eye out. Right. Like, you can always laugh at that. They have the one place in Atlanta that's known,

like the, what's Atlanta that's known like the What's the Something what the fuck is it Claremont Lounge? Okay, that's what it is where they don't hire anybody under 50 I love that. She's like older like It's like over 50 and they'll accept you under 50 if you have like a real issue like a wooden leg or something Like they'll accept that also, but it's gotta be like freaky There were people there was a place in Tampa, can't think of the name of it right now, but they couldn't even sell alcohol,

they fucked up so many times. And they would be dancing, and then the music would stop, and she'd get off the stage and put her fucking some money into the jukebox, and hit another song. I was in there and this one girl, her water broke. A stancer?

She was right, yeah, she was taking it as far as she could. You know, putting some money away, you know, to fix up the spare room. And her water broke, everybody's gone fucking crazy. You know how much those little fucking swings cost? fix up the spare room and our water broke. Everybody's gone fucking crazy. You know how much those little fucking swings cost? Yeah, that's true. You gotta take it right to the limit.

Yeah, it's such a funny, like, God, strip clubs, I got jaded to it pretty quick to not being into those. I said, again, it's almost like I said with the old, wealthy guy with the young hot chick. Right. Like, I just can't get past the you know, I mean like it can't be for Something right can't be fucking me for a thing. Here's the thing That's why OnlyFans is better than anything that's ever existed

Because they don't have anybody telling them what to do all the time, you know Yeah, like cuz a lot of those guys are running those clubs were mean motherfuckers You know, yeah, like cuz a lot of those guys are running those clubs were mean motherfuckers Oh, yeah A lot of people in the porn business were mean but this girl could just set something up in her house and make some fucking bread It's like a nice thing when you think about it I don't know why I've never was a for a brief moment in time The world really saw past pimping is like a thing that was bad and it was just like a fine thing Well, they look like they were like it's. And it was just like a fine thing.

Like they were like, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like everyone involved seems pretty okay with it. I mean, everybody, you know, in Times Square used to be like that, so people still talk about it. It was like the fucking stereotype movie. The guy fucking dressed like that, and he was like, ladies, please, please, keep moving. You know what I mean?

And you were just like, I'm in a a fucking movie I'm in a movie right now people were fucking gambling on the street selling drugs it was fucking great now look at Times Square Wednesday February 5th Ron Bennington Joe Liss Keith Robinson this is a good show you can get jacked off probably downstairs. One time when we did one of those Thanksgiving shows, Artie wandered off during the show. We were doing like a panel of something went to break and he just wandered off in the Times Square looking for dope.

I'm like, dude, it's fucking 2014. It's not here. I feel as badly as you do,, it's fucking 2014. It's not here anymore. I feel as badly as you do. But let's finish it. I'll go out looking with you. Anybody? Yeah, have you ever seen a guy with a big hat and floppy shoes?

But no, I don't know if there's ever been a magnanimous owner of a place like that. Everyone was like, dude, Dennis Hoff was the best guy. Was he though? Wasn't he a raging piece of shit actually? I don't understand the thing, it's like, well it's legal there, so he's just being an all right guy. And he's another one too, it's like,

he would talk about those girls in a way, it's like, yeah, we brought in a new girl from wherever, he goes, I tested her out, tight, good. And he would be celebrated. He would go to the Comedy Cellar and they'd be like, It's like yeah, we brought in a new girl from wherever goes. I tested her out tight good And he would be celebrated right you would go to the comedy seller and they'd be like that is off spread the way He's to come here all the time But bringing people in and then he would just come up to the window the studio wave and you're like no motherfucker You know booked so I became friends with her bunny love,

from she would come to the cellar with him, and I would like smoke weed with her and get her talking about like, see this was my move, I still wanted to be a part of the filth, but I was also like, just understand, I know this is disgusting, you shouldn't be a part of any of this.

I was the person that was like, after I'd get jacked off at the Asian place, she would be like, hey, whatever your dream was when you came here, you should still see that through. That's nice. You're a hero, that's what you're called. You're called a hero. I mean, I had to get her back, yo, this guy's a creep, right?

And she had to almost eventually be like, yeah, it is what it is. And then we stayed friends beyond that. I think she's like a married fucking snowboard chick up in Napa somewhere. Is he dead? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but those two were the ones who used to come

with him all the time to the thing. But yeah, he's hanging out and goes, hey, I'm also hanging out with Heidi Fleiss. We went into business together. She's cool, right? Yeah. Like, we forget these are pieces of shit, which is so funny about that.

Fucking Dennis Hoff. Pimps. He had his own HBO show for a couple of seasons. I know, listen. I love the concept. I love the concept that you could send like an Eric the Midget they used to send there or the Cat House show itself would be like a father can walk in there,

he goes, this is my son, his brain's too big for his head or whatever. He's got some kind of crazy like, he just turns up and goes, can you guys just like double suck him? It'll probably take 15 seconds, we'll get out of here. You're almost like, those girls are fucking heroes. Those are treasures for sure.

Well, you know, they're professionals. You know what I mean? You can't pick and choose. Now, have you heard of the term yachting? So this is supposedly women that are not in the business. Like they're influencers or movie stars that are a little down on their luck. But they will only go on yachts with the super rich and they will fuck and

That's the only on a yacht only on a yacht I guess if the guy has a mansion, but it's called the adding like they get a little vacation out of it You know and then it's a rough sudden. Yeah Models in New York for ages right and. And Vegas, right? Like, people think they know a prostitute. You see a Vegas prostitute, you're like, fuck. The Vegas strippers were unbelievable. We had an after party at Peppermint Hippo, and I was like, oh my God, every girl was like more

gorgeous than the last one. I know. Oh, Vegas has goodies, huh? Yeah. Yeah. The only time Christine ever went to a strip club was a place called the Oasis in Philly. They were fans of mine, and they really rolled

the red carpet out for us. And, I mean, it took two hours of being there for Christine to find a woman who didn't have a gunshot wound healing that she was willing to have. Because she was like, we got to go. I'm like, no, you got to get a dance. I mean, we're here. We came to the strip.

I didn't necessarily want to go. It was almost like, she's like, oh, that may be fun, though. And I was like, well, and they get a dance. I mean, we're here. We came to the strip. I didn't even necessarily want to go. It was almost like, she's like, oh, that might be fun though. And I was like, well, and they're picking us up in a car. I'm like, yeah, sure, if you want to go after the shows, we'll go out there. We went out there and like,

but it was funny, we were leaving. She was like, I was like, you gotta get a lap dance. And she's like, no, I'm ready to go. And I was like, yeah, she's like, there's really nobody here. And then we find a girl that she was like, oh, okay. Well, no, then a girl like emerged from out of nowhere and she was like, oh, okay. Well, no, then a girl, like, emerged from out of nowhere, and she was just gorgeous and perfect.

Runaway. That's a runaway. She's still fresh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the thing, too. Like, you ever been in a fucking teddy bar like that, and, like, women are coming over, and you want to dance? No. No. And then finally a hot one, and you're like, yes. And then she's giving you a lap dance,

and you look over, and one of the girls that you sit, she's just giving you a lap dance and you look over and one of the girls that you said just give you a fucking stink guy I had a I went into a what was it called what was it was it the no booze one on Delaware Avenue I forget what's called like baby dolls or something like something like that dollhouse someone of my friends like let's go in there when that he goes I heard this is a place where they do like like they'll jerk you off it's called, like Baby Dolls or something like that. Dollhouse, one of my friends was like, let's go in there one night. He goes, I heard this is a place where they do like, like they'll jerk you off. It's a strip club, no booze, full nude,

and they have rooms in the back where it's just like, but it's like Jack Shack rooms. And it was, and I don't know, I was getting brazen. At this point I had gone like a handful of times now to like the jerk off places. Yeah, where I was like Someone's like this place has that so I was like we just asked the girls about it And I don't know I couldn't remember I wish I could tell you how I was asking like the JV jerking off here asking the question if who's gonna do this and some girl was like, yeah. Yeah, sure

She's like it's a hundred bucks and I was like Okay, which probably was my worth at the time. Yeah, 100 bucks, everything. Everything. I go, yeah, sure. And we go into a room and she, it's something like a doctor's table,

and she feeds, awfully lit, by the way, she feeds the $100 into a machine, like a cigarette machine almost it looks like and I was like, alright And then she goes, uh, alright, she's I wanna she's like showing her ass and she goes I want you to jerk off for me and I'm like, you know, I'm like 18 or 19 and I'm like, okay So I'm like jerking off for and then uh, I was like see you said you were gonna like she said she was gonna suck it Which is gonna do she's gonna suck my dick. She said and she's like She's like come on. I want to watch you jerk off, she said. And then she's like, she's like, come on now,

I wanna watch you jerk off a little bit more. And then she sees I'm like getting hard, she's like sucking her own titties. But I mean looking, couldn't look less like, I suck my tit now, this is what my pussy looks like, and I'm just like jerking off frantically, going like, now, do you take over now? And then at some point, she goes, I go,

hey, are you gonna get involved in this at all? And she was like, she goes, you better go, you gotta. And then she points to a thing, that machine she fed the money into starts counting down a timer from like 10 minutes. And she goes, and she's like, you only got like three minutes left, I would get to it. And I go, wait, are you gonna do it?

She goes, yeah. And then she gets him on all fours, and then I'm jerking off facing forward. She's on all fours looking at my dick while I'm jerking off. And then she's just closer to it. And she's like, yeah. And she goes, I'm gonna suck that shit so good. Tell me when you're gonna come.

I'm gonna suck it when you come. And I went, now! And just came all over my own hand in the table. And I went, I thought you were gonna do something. And she goes, yeah, that's what we tell you to make you come quicker and I went well that's fucked up and she goes what do you tell you can tell somebody she walked out yeah I was like all right and I think I did go to the front of the guy go you know they're not being honest out there horrible. You know, this is not a good business model.

Here's the thing that you need to do to break down all those walls, instead of like asking what do I get and all that. Just say do you wanna do a bump? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the move. And then suddenly, who's in the power position?

This fucking guy. Because you have the coke. Yeah, this guy is suddenly making the fucking rules. I had a girl one time ask me, and I only did it once, she goes, can you get me, she goes, can you get cocaine? I fuck so crazy whenever I'm on cocaine. I'm like, sure. And then she goes, I wanna do a bump a hook off your dick.

And I was like, okay, so I got some cocaine, like the smallest bag of cocaine, I gave it to her. And she goes, oh yeah, I wanna do a bump off your dick. And I pulled my dick out, and like, just heard that when she put the cocaine on my dick, even I was like, it's like so drugsy. I'm just like, not that guy. I was like, oh, and then she did coke off.

And I go, you shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have had that on my wiener. We should not have fucked now. We did. I'm not gay, Jacob. We should not fuck now. We did. Yeah, I'm not gay Jacob. We did fuck That was hep C Yesterday yeah, no, no, no She just like this girl asked me to butt fuck her cuz she had her period and then after we butt fuck

She said by the way, I should tell you I have hep C. Yeah, I don't I had the feeling Put that yellow ass up where I can see it. No, no, no, aggressively checked. Years beyond even, because I would go, hey, you know what, while you're in there, check for Hep C too, because also I did fuck a girl who told me afterwards, hey, thanks for butt fucking me. The most easiest way to get Hep C.

Well, here's the thing, I think we're all feeling it right now that this is going a lot better than it would be with Bobby. You know what I mean? Like, there's something feels right about what's happening. And I don't know, look, I've never shit myself for two days straight. For two days.

For two days. I'm not trying to, you know. Last time I was shitting myself here almost I make use now Jacob showed me the all genders meaning no genders bathroom right which is nice but if I could give and I know they're never listening to me if the higher-ups of series 6m a little softer lighting in these rooms for these situations you're right who wants to shit in like, I mean come on, what do you want me to see my thigh veins while I'm looking down?

They have the video going, so they need that. They need that. It does look better on video. Can I make another suggestion? Have you ever been in there on? The worst thing, well I won't use it because of one reason. The lock opens if you push down the handle. So I'm too paranoid that I'm not doing it right.

Not on the other side. Yes. Not on the other side. You lock it and if you move the handle it unlocks. Yeah, but not on the side that you have to be worried about. Right, but my brain won't allow me to not worry about it. I keep my eyes open. So I want a separate lock from the handle

is what I'm saying. Do what I do, I just leave the door open I go hey, what's up? How's everybody doing today? I it shouldn't be connected. It shouldn't be connected I agree with that and there is though, but I mean, what would you do? I mean we all do the same thing if you hear that door Making any kind of like move me I've had trauma what I told you on the air. What happened? Tell me. Like I had 20 scuba divers staring at me on the bowl because the door didn't seal. It was a sliding

door and somebody just pushed it and it was like two inch gap and I'm just on the bowl and I see 20 women in bikinis and dudes staring at me and going, Oh my God. I wanted to die. And then I had to go on the dive. This was right before the dive. How do you not see that every night in your dreams? I do.

He does, he has a problem. No, it's haunted me since it happened. I mean, can you still see the faces of the people laughing? Like you remember what they looked like. Yeah. Well, there were a couple of a few of them were very attractive. And, you know, before I was humiliated like this, you have dreams that one day, you know, I'll be shedding. I'll make my move.

You know, we can talk diving. Right. Instead, they just saw me doodying right before the dive. It was a disaster. You never want to be in lockup. I'm just telling you that right now. That gets really fucking. You know, I used to say to myself before I started watching all these jail shows,

like 60 days in, when I watched that particularly, I used to say anything over I watched a lot of jail shows, like 60 days in, when I watched that particularly. I used to say anything over, maybe even a year, but anything under a year, I would just accept in jail. Over a year, heavily consider killing myself. Or running. One year, that's how scared I am of jail, for sure. Now, when you've added in, and that I look all these shows at that idea

that it's like they have cameras in those cellars so they show the person you know from like waist up but they're shitting and you know like sorry and then you see the person like flip over with their blanket and I'm like that's worth killing myself for running day one of a 30-day sentence. 30-day sentence I'm not there's no way. Look, here's the thing. This is what's really weird too. So Senator Bob Goldbar Menendez, New Jersey, just got 11 fucking years today. He's a senator, soft-hand motherfucker, and he's probably late 60s, early 70s. 11 years. He's getting fucking basically a life sentence.

Yeah. You know he's not ready for it. Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein said, hey, if you send me back to Rikers, you're killing me. You know what I mean? You're killing me. I'm fucking dying here. And everyone's like, well, you got something.

You know what I mean? No one fucking feels a thing for him. Did you ever have him on the show Harvey Weinstein? Yeah, nope I Had him on Three times that true. Yeah three times. He did the show we talked movies He's very fucking Interesting I mean he's made brilliant movies is a very kind of seductive guy. He brings you in and He's made brilliant movies, he's a very seductive guy. He brings you in and I've said to him, you're the best, dude. I go, whatever you're doing, you know what I mean?

Keep doing it. He goes, Ron, would you like to watch me shower? But he was a guy that me and him talked about maybe doing a podcast Really? Yeah, I go you I don't know why you send these fucking Actors out they stink, you know mean in interviews. You should do a podcast with somebody who's got broadcasting experience Yeah, like myself, but you weren't prepared to pay the VIG You know, who knows maybe I could have You know maybe I could have been there for him. Yes, you want me to kill Rose McGowan

You're not gonna hear from Rose anymore, okay, hey don't worry about that good buddy But when I understand she took a long trip, you know? Poor Rose McGowan, that was the funniest thing because everybody, even when they put that show out, people still felt for her, but it was a different way all of a sudden, because she was one of the early whistleblowers on that, and she came out and they gave her a reality show, and then every episode had three scenes of her

in an empty bathtub, crying to herself, holding a candle, and you're like, this isn't your best witness, get this off the air quick. I think it was like four episodes aired only, and then they were like, yeah, we gotta get rid of this. She was screaming at a trans person at a bookstore. She could have been a neighbor of yours. You know what I mean?

Yeah. She was in that deep. Yeah, she was, which is why I've always said Marilyn Manson. Did you ever interview him when you were in Florida? No Do you know the funny thing was that the Jenna tortures? Yeah, right you know her to them. So the girl this is like 80s early 90s Beautiful tortures people is all really exciting And I come walking in and there's these fucking assholes

And I come walking in and there's these fucking assholes who were just sitting in the lobby with little fucking lunch boxes, little metal lunch boxes. And she's like, can they come down? I'm like, fuck no. Only just dudes in here. So. A bunch of boys with lunch boxes. He sat out the door.

You know? Being a dork. There was no albums then, but yeah, I mean the whole thing with him. I mean I- They dropped all charges on him again. Yeah, of course. When you're rich, you can keep that thing going.

You know what I mean? You can keep shit going until the other person runs out of money and then finally you offer some money, you know? I wonder what Marilyn Manson's sitting on, though. I think, strangely, and this is not a joke, I think his father made some wise investments on his behalf. His father was his manager. It's probably true.

And he probably took care of him with some money, because, uh, and I said this the other day, he looks, he's lost all the weight. He's been sober, apparently, and he sounds good, but I wonder how much money. These went away, I don't know. Marilyn Manson's innocence as far as like, you know, going too far with these girls or hurting these girls against their will

or anything like that, comes down to Rose McGowan can't wait, and she has, I think the most she said, she goes, I support anyone who says they were a victim, but I had no experience of like that with him at all Yeah She would have been happy to tell it and she would have been the one you're gonna fucking shock up the asshole with a fucking Prada or whatever you know I mean yeah, I know but then that other chick. You know it was like a little movie star. He was like

15 years older oh Yeah, and she felt like she was like she years older. Oh yeah. And she felt like she was, like she just turned 18 or whatever. She claimed she was, I can't think of her name right now. Evan Rachel Wood. She turned 18 and showed up at his door though and was like, fuck me, I'm 18. I mean by her, when she tells the story.

Well here's the thing, you would be so good on a jury during the defense. You'd be like, on a jury during the defense Play to that guy Do not look at anybody else in the jury play to that fucking dude I'm not in any of these rooms. He might be doing all kinds of fucked up shit I'm saying every other girl though recanted and said they were just trying to like support her Because she said that she had this like crazy. We don't know whether they got cash or not I mean, I know nothing about Marilyn Manson. No, I don't know you I know the beautiful people that's as far as that's as deep as I go and the guy crushed some pretty hot ass

His current wife is like pretty hot. She's like a photographer Lindsey usage or something But she's very pretty. Wait, is she one of the usage sisters? Oh, is that I know those fucking bitches the Oosit sisters? I know those fucking bitches. No, I never heard of her. I'm sure she's lovely. She's a photographer. I'm sure she's fine. Does a photographer still get work these days? Oh, there she is. Yeah, Jacob, you like a pale bitch. I do. Yeah. You could be with a vampire just fucking pooping in front of 20 vampires. Just digging a hot dump in front of 20 bikini-clad vampires. Damn, Jacob, you thought you might, you get a chance to show your bod, you thought people might, you might get some pussy from this Scoob Adventure until everyone watched you

duke. Well, you couldn't poop at home? What? You couldn't poop at home before the dive? Yeah, why didn't you shit before the dog? Nervous pooping you're not a diver does everybody poop before they get in their gear first of all You're going you're leaving your house because you have to be at the dock at 8 So your whole rhythms off now you and then you're going for side of shit 7 we have to leave it like 5 in the morning

Okay, you wake up at four rookie Yeah, sorry, so at 430 you're on the do you okay? It's just not ready what could I do and then you have to understand now we get to the dive site to the dive center and You know, you're going on a boat for for three hours and you know you're going on a boat for three hours. So now the panic hits me and I always have, I'll have a panic duty. Panic shit.

And so I had to go in there, in the place, while they're all changing and ready to, and they're all, the reason they looked in, because they're all ready to, they just want to pee before they go on. Right, now you want to. But I had to do more than pee. Unless I have, what the doctors are actually now calling

Robert Kelly's disease, my shit will not become much of a problem. I'm not saying that I won't be reminded at a point, like, when you get a chance, you do have to shit, but it will tend to stay at bay if I'm occupied with activity and people. I was panicking, like, I'm on a boat. There's nothing... Where can I go if I have an attack? Being engaged with those and people. I was panicking like I'm on a boat. There's nothing, where can I go if I have an attack?

Being engaged with those 20 people would keep my shits nowhere near a problematic chamber. I've been a panic problem my whole life. Any chance of pulling your little dive pants down and just shit your deep down in the seaweed? See, the deeper you go, the colder it gets. You have to keep your suit on, Ron. So you can shit your suit and it'll just stay in.

But what if it's like maybe like a hamster maze-like section, and you cut a little hole? I think the point is that I didn't plan on this. I didn't want it to happen. The most humiliating part after that was that I had to be on the boat with them for three hours and do the dive after. You have any friends there there or you were strangers?

My brother and my brother and one of my nephews. He was leading the charge of laughter. Hey everyone look at this idiot taking his shit. No he was sympathetic. But he was laughing too. He was not sympathetic. He wasn't sympathetic enough to not go to the after party without you. Well Jacob, seems like everyone's turning in man.

I guess uh. Sometimes it's just you gotta chalk it up to an L. Damn, man. That was one of the big Ls in my life. Do people really, like, poop in their suits and just swim around with their poopy suits? I mean, I haven't heard of that. See a shark.

I'm sure it happens. I would shit my suit if there was a big shark. But you always pee in your suit when you dive. You do. Christine, you're a beach kid. You ever shit in the ocean? No, I've never shit in the ocean. Christine?

But I've never gotten into the ocean without peeing. You've always pee in the ocean? 100% every time. Do you go right through the material of the bathing suit? I've told you that I pull it aside but not all the time In the world is when you when you're diving it's because you have the suit on and then when you go to depth your Your organs are being compressed. Mm-hmm. So you you can't not pee everyone pees in there. So you don't keep looking at me. I'm a diver By the way I've never heard this before in my life did you know that all

divers pee? If they say they don't they're lying. You can't not they all pee so that Jessica Alba move into the deep into the blue. I love that movie. They're not showing the reality that they're covered in piss. So Jessica Alba covered in shit let me ask you this sheels down, she's willing to put it behind you that she watched you take a shit. Do you help clean her off? Wait, what are you saying? Do you clean shit off Jessica Alba's naked body?

What do I... If I get to have, like, sex with her after? No. No, just clean the shit. No, just clean the shit. Did I tell you something? No, I'm not gonna clean it. I would fucking leave from my house driving over just to wind the boat coming in. I'm here to the shit. Did I tell you something? No, I'm not gonna clean it. No? I would fucking leave from my house driving over, just winds a boat coming in. I'm here to clean her off.

She's, if Jessica Alba shits in the ocean? No, no, no, no. Shits in her suit. She shits in her suit. She peels, she's gonna peel. Before she gets into the water? I'm there with her fucking hose. I'm just fucking hosing off her fucking ass.

I'll hose her, I thought you meant like, use paper. Yeah, like you know. You gotta get in there a little bit. You didn't specify. No, you. Yeah, like, you know. You gotta get in there a little bit. You didn't specify. No, you gotta make sure you're in there. You gotta get in there. I'm out. Really?

I've had this argument a lot, and I've seen the world goes 50-50 on this one. If the hot's gotta outweigh the gross, you'll deal with the gross if the hot outweighs it. It's a certain thing. I don't want, young Pamela Anderson was everything to me. Sure. I would never wanted her to shit on my chest,

shit in my mouth ever. But if you said the only way you'll ever see this woman naked is she's gonna take a shit in front of you all day long. All day long. You're gonna put that above Jessica Alba? Cause I feel like- I'm saying it was my thing.

I'm saying any hot celebrity that you'd be excited for, the only chance is gonna be Ron Bennington perhaps. I'm saying Mom's Mabely. Out of everybody. That's who you'd hose her down? I think once I got Jessica Alba cleaned up, I would quietly take a shit on her. So there wouldn't be more.

So there wouldn't be even more. I go, oh my God, I just found a lot more. He goes, I missed a spot. I missed a spot on your lower back. I wouldn't be hot for her after I saw Odin. No, you would, because you're going to clean it back to what you like. A not shitty ass. You watch shit porn. I never watched it. I don't use shit porn, Jacob. That's a different thing we're talking about. You're making something sexual. that's not sexual. I am blown away by the concept of shit porn.

You're saying you're desensitized, but... No, I still make this face. Ugh. But you'll actively wash it. Actively's a weird word to put it also. No. You'll seek it out. No!

I mean, from time to time. From time to time, here's the thing. The computer that I, the laptop, the tiny little laptop that I take my shits with, that thing is blitzed with viruses and shit already. So once in a while, I'll slap on a little website called XP, because I can't believe sometimes that you can get a beautiful woman who's definitely turned down guys in her life to shit on camera

it's it's mind-blowing to me it's just that takes everything it's just something extra oh shit yeah I think we had to take a break ten minutes ago oh my lord everybody Wednesday February 5th 7 p.m Ronnie B's gonna be hosting the New York Comedy All-Stars at the Hard Rock Cafe Robert Kelly Bonnie McFarlane Keith Robinson Joe lists all on that ticket Get your tickets at New York Comedy All-Stars dot com just how it sounds and go to youtube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy He's dying at home with a rare Robert Kelly's disease make sure you go subscribe to his YouTube oh no no no no and also listen to Ron Bennington on his own show Bennington noon to 2 right here on series XM faction talk 103 this weekend I'm with

Shane and a couple of arenas Vancouver and Seattle after that Orlando Syracuse Los Angeles I'm coming out there for one night only Ontario California Indianapolis Baltimore bigj comedy.com punch up that live slash big Jay Okerson and check out my YouTube new special double crowd work special them they first part coming out I believe now February 15th. It seems like that's official. Is that because yesterday was the 13th or 14th. February I know and then I had a whole thing yesterday with the manager. February 15th. Them. The first half of Them They coming out on YouTube. It's the bonfire.