The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Diva Cups

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

midroll- 16:45 Jacob interrupts the show with questions about Christine's Diva Cup!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Ocerson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. Adults adopting adults. Oh he's a great right? Yeah he took the break we came back.

Oh yeah. I watched it on the road, I tried watching the end of it fell asleep, but man, you're up to season, you're up to episode two. You're caught up. Yeah. Is episode two, are you still as engaged? Is it nuts? I want to find out what happens to the creepy guy, the fat guy.

But everything else you're kind of like who gives a shit. Yeah, I'm really starting to lose interest in everybody else. Yeah, the only one that's interesting is the guy that's being a fucking fool on creep that we tweeted his picture out from. But there's another one who's definitely into the chick too. Is the black family maybe? Oh, yes. Oh, when they're adopting her from the bra- I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, and like that dad's another one that he's like, come on, baby, what's called our baby and stuff all that's- it's definitely, that's something. Yeah, they're not in episode two. Oh really, but they're another good follow. Yes. Yeah, they are, but the two couples will keep you locked into a show though enough. There's people in love at the lock-up now. I just fast forward and I haven't even started the love-doring lock-up. It's not interested. I've taken a peek. It's all right. Here's the problem. One person's away on the show. It actually breaks apart what the thing of the show is. You want to see a person at a jail just destroying their lives again and the lives of others around them. These are just people whining about people who are in jail. This is ridiculous. There's no...

You don't get to see him act ridiculous. You can see him say ridiculous thing. That's boring. But this one is fucking crazy because we watched the preview and we're like, oh, that guy seems like he's into the girl sexually. And it turns out he is. He's completely, he's completely into the girl. He's doing this. The picture he has his, the, what do you think? The wallpaper of his phone is a sexy picture of the girl who's moving in. A sultry picture of her, like on purpose,

like her modeling pictures. That's crazy. And she's pregnant and she's moving in with them so they can take care of her and this baby. This lady is trying to act, look at them at the airport. It's so goddamn funny. Yeah. She's holding a sciences welcome to our home.

She's like, hey, hey, miss, get over here and fuck my husband. Or sit around while he tries to fuck you. That's what it is because also the way the lady stands up for herself is she's like, I got the trailer, I bought a trailer so she doesn't have to be in the house. And part her own house.

Yeah, and you're like, just say no. Just say no to this whole thing. She's gonna be in the house. Oh, for sure. I don't even, I would doubt that she sleeps more than a week in the trailer. She's gonna be in the basement for sure. But then he's,

because she can get down the basement more than he could leave the house to go to the trailer. Though, why are you in the trailer? Yeah, and he's, do you think they had an arrangement before where he's like, why don't you come in here? Completely believe it's why I say, I think we're watching a sinister act with this couple and It's so yeah, he's got his wife who he's already by the way Let's give people some backstory here this particular couple which you can watch on any on demand. Yeah, this is a little bonfire context

This guy has done this before him and his wife have marriage troubles because he cheats. And this is explained in the episode, first episode of the DULTES Adopting Adults. One of his cheatings was with the last young attractive girl they moved into their house who was like down in her luck or whatever. He ended up being into her and fucking getting weird. She's not involved anymore probably because she was not responsive to him at all. Yeah, I didn't want to fuck him. I think what this guy has done now is found an immigrant girl who wants to come to America

from Russia, right? I don't remember. She's rushing or something like that. Whatever it is, she's pregnant and she's willing to move here forever. So she's not with the person who got her pregnant. She's desperate for some hookup and she's probably scamming him, but he, my belief is that he's already made a deal with this girl, the young pregnant girl. I'm like, I'm here. I'm gonna be with you. We're gonna be together, but this is how I gotta get you here. And then my wife will leave me when she finds out,

and then she'll be out of the way and whatever. Yeah, they were watching a sinister act like he's got this lady buying shit and cleaning up after someone he's just she's grooming her own replacement. Yeah, their names are Danny and Christie as the couple and they're adopting a 20 year old woman from Austria, who they found on social media and never actually met. My name is Denise Hitler. Yeah. Please be cool. I am Deborah Schwartz and I.

Different family, probably. This guy just wants to fuck someone else. In his own house? In his own house. And he like, he wants to. He doesn't want to be single. No. Or else he would have gotten like leftist lady.

Yeah. No kids history it seems like right? They got and like left this lady. Yeah. They have no kids history it seems like right? They have cats. She has cats. Yeah. She, in defense of this guy, I'm sure it's because he's broken her down to this point, but I'm like, break up because this lady's never going to snap back to. No.

Like she's a defeated lady. Yeah, you want her, it's the only character I've seen in a while in reality television where I'm like just leave. Oh, there. And I have this thing I'd solve. The friends were like, do you think about leaving him? She goes, I do think about it. Is it because maybe he just act on that? But she's got one. Maybe you want to follow that down the street? You can see she's so defeated. She has bought into the...

The lie. Well, not even just a lie. She's bought into like the... I'm sure he sold her a bill of like you couldn't get anybody else. You think he broke her fucking spirit? Yeah. And it's just like, now I'm gonna live off you. And I think he completely broke her spirit.

Yeah. And episode two is it more depressing because we haven't watched it yet. Yeah, she cries a little more. He's, you know, she's trying to be nice and go along with the thing. The wife is trying to be nice and go along with it, but then they'll cut to her, resenting everything.

She's nervous by herself. I should probably sleep next to her in bed for a couple of night. And that's all the shit he does. I don't know if he's done that, but I'm telling you, like, that would not blow me away if I just made that guess. I guess.

I think he thinks his wife is so stupid, he'll be like, what do you go, I have to help her bathe because she can't reach back. She's pregnant now. I gotta help her out. And their custom having an erection while you do that is a sign of respect. I gotta wash her.

I gotta wash her and yes, I don't wanna be rock hard, but I am. What am I gonna do? My body reacts. That was when I lost my beanie. And I was like, I wasn't gonna climb the wall. And then my beanie fell in off. That was scary.

Yeah, I adopted him, not knowing. He's gonna come to my house. Yeah, I do that. And then there's just a bunch of different weird ones. The ones where you know they're getting took on adults adopting adults We're like this woman's it just in here to steal from this family. What is that with the Asian girls gonna do? Yeah, with that one. She's coming in the steel. Yeah, she's coming in to take shit That's pretty hilarious and then the other one the boring one is just like a sad lady who's like my grandparents

I would always young we'd be my grandparents live in our house like oh, you're just like a psycho Yeah, you just you're just really sad bringing an older couple to come live at your house They come live with us and pretend you're my grandparents. Can you come cosplay? That's what she's asking for. Yeah, she's asking to pretend to be my grandparents, but like legally Like well, that's so bizarre Such that that's not that interesting to me. I just a loop. Do you see other interesting one is the girl, it's the girl who's like the criminal.

I think. That's what I'm talking about. The one that's coming into like fucking take from that family. The, yeah, oh yeah, yeah. The one that's getting grandparents is married, right? Yeah, married and they talk. Like they've been with this grandparents.

Yeah. Now, it's the having she's Asian too. Yeah. That's confusing. Yeah. The other Asian one just like a long time criminal hates her mom. Yeah, who hates her mom has been in jail and she's just going to tell her mom, but do we have that? I'd love to hear the audio if we could

find that of her telling her mom that she doesn't want her to be her mom. It's got to be a segmented clip at this point. Uh, it said, yeah, this second episode came out yesterday. Why the Christ, are you gonna do that? Because I'm getting a new mother. If Isabella came up to you and was like, I'm getting adopted by another dad.

Like, if she came to your apartment, she was like, there was just cameras with her and she's like, hey, I'm on the show. And I'm getting adopted by another adult. She's been thinking about picking new God parents. But Kurt, she likes Kurt's God parents. She just wants like new stuff, new people. Yeah. She's like thinking about picking new God parents. But Kurt, she likes Kurt's God parents. She just wants like new stuff, new people. Yeah. She's like, clearly now. She goes, I was going to have a great run. And now it's time

to turn the franchise over to the free. Yeah. You know, yeah. Change, baby. I said, you got to keep growing, moving. Everything's not temporary. God parents, God regular parents. Yeah. Nothing's for real. You're an orphan, orphan DJ. You want me and Christina adopt you? Yeah, I You guys got a pool No one day though Get a pool of talk. Okay, all right, dude. It would be so funny if my boy my son DJ

Loo was in my guest room in my apartment dude. He's coming over and over and you're like, I'm having the boy over for Christmas. What? Well, we're doing Christmas in my house, too. Is it about, I was like, can I, I'm not gonna call him my brother. I'm only adopting you though, not adopting Will. Whoa. That's no deal.

You know what package group. Whoa. You guys went to both sleep in that room, my house? Yeah, dude. No, because the ceiling's not going room, my house? Yeah, I did. No, because the ceiling's don't go all out. The wall's don't go all out to the ceiling. Can you hear me jerking off? That's true.

Wait, what? The wall doesn't go up to the ceiling? Wait, am I a place? Yeah, you're a guest place. No, my guest's a regular bedroom. I was under the impression that you could hear the other person through the wall because there's a space at the top of the wall

The only place I can even think of it's like that is the condo at Denver comedy works. Yeah, we're all be staying March 3rd through the fifth. Hey What I would give for you to listen to you give Lou the talk after you caught him beating off. Hey, buddy What are you doing? It's fun to play with yourself, but sometimes you need to understand. I mean, look, listen, we're all adults here. And you're just sitting at the foot of his bed, holding his legs. This song's great to be playing. Hey, champ, can you do this? I don't know, I'm just a bearist.

He rolls away towards the window. I don't want to talk about it. He goes, Christine's just starting to think that like you're trying to get caught by her at this point. You've just done it in some weird places, bud. And I'm just saying, I know, hey, look, we all have our kinks. You can only come around and draw good. I love it.

Sondries and whatnot. But our cupboards are not a place to masturbate, bud. You're going to have to wait for us. And if you want to do it, at least when there's some privacy. Yeah. Not while she's cooking noodles. Yeah, and stop saying, hey mom, mom, look, mommy, I want to make you butter.

I want to make you my baby boy butter. It's just dick. You don't. You're a mother. Mommy, mama. Mommy. Yeah, baby, you want to show me the dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, just go there. She's back at a great time. Are you re-hired? Are you re-hired? What happened? Fire you're re-hired. You're fired Okay, I gotta tell you I didn't like the guy when he did it Wasn't it that a one finger wag seems a little far. Is that an authority that guy? Well, you've been I'm'm saying it's cats even. I don't know if he's like a tech guy. I'm gonna work on that. I don't like that at all.

The one finger call. I don't like that. If you, when you felt differently bad, if you was just like, he's like, when he was like, you was like, come here, it's different than the one finger. He made me feel like I was in trouble. Yeah, absolutely.

I felt, I we thought you were in trouble. Yeah, I was like, what am I in trouble for? That was very common to the principal's office. I felt like you're going to the deans, dude. Yeah, me too, but now my password works. Well, I know you're trying to help. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet they finger a lot of assholes. Where, you bet. Why'd you turn around this guy? You're seeing what you guys do. Make out. Like everyone was guessing. She's like, I gotta get back in there. I can't.

One more. OK, but I gotta go. I have to get back in. I have to get everything. What do you guys do make out like everyone was guessing? Okay, but I gotta go back. I have to get everything Every time I'm away from you feels like a million years Bad Don't worry Christine while you were gone black Lou did your job significantly better. It's not no That's that's not my opinion. That's what the consensus was wow it was three to one Blue hey champ Christine would you mind adopting adult adopting adult with DJ Lou But not will but he says we have to take will too I will talk to Lou and will I we have to but you're not gonna tell you this I'm telling you this though

I'm gonna treat will like shit No, I'm gonna treat DJ Lou like a king and it's really gonna create a division I'm gonna try to break you to up dude. Don't let it happen. I'm like hey champ What do you say about two backstage tickets to get you better? I'm gonna let my guard down and I'm gonna listen to this Queen music for the better part of I Was just creating three and a half hours. It was gonna be like there's not a third You don't got a third ticket. Nah.

Nah, Lou's got to stay on them and peel potatoes. Will does? Yeah, let me get the military. He goes, how many potatoes is all the potatoes until we're back? He goes, why? Why did you? Because that's what you do, you peel potatoes.

Let's be your fucking brother, Lou. Oh man, this is a thing. This guy sucks. He's very toxic. It's gonna get very your fucking brother, blue. Oh, man. This guy sucks I'm very toxic. It's gonna get very anyway. Let's go dude. Hey buddy. You know that we stuff what you say would you say Jacob? They're gonna smoke in their bedroom. No, that right now. I'm gonna break blue No, they're gonna you're gonna be losing your mind up No, I don't think oh my god treat. Well, I'm gonna treat Lou so good. You're not gonna be able to- Hey bud, you're not gonna get away

and take a trip to the ukulele store? You're not gonna be able to escape the sound of ukulele. No. Ferrer, ferrer, ferrer, ferrer, ferrer, ferrer. I don't mind it. I don't mind it. And then I go, God, is he just listening to this and dance all day, I go, he's a grown boy.

He's a grown boy over there. And then Lou comes out and it's like, I love any better. No way, do me a favor? Fucking, you gonna make my bed? Sssh. But it's your bed. Yeah, make it. I own you.

I own you, Will. I'm gonna call you Stu. You're no longer a fool. Good, Lou and bad, Stu. I'm a zero. You're treating Will like shit, man. It's as feeling. Christine, make well look at your pussy and just smoke cigarettes and put them out on

them. Be like a mean ant, like a mean ant. Wow, this is getting dark. This flower is in the attic. Or in torture. Oh. Your brother's getting tortured, little boy. You're going to be treated so good.

And in that double homicide where you and Christine have been dead for a week and Lou and Will have just been smoking cigarettes in your apartment. Why are you not believing that I could turn Lou away from Will? You are. He can. You can't go against nature and, oh, no.

I feel this have a crazy thing. Like Will's always thought he was better than Lou. You won't break him. You won't break him. Lou, Will doesn't leave, because he thinks he's taking care of his dumb brother. This is gonna end with a shaky gun. Lou pointing your gun at Will.

And we're going, Lou, it's not me. No, it's gonna be fun. Will's such a great person. He just goes, I understand what you have to do. Do it. It's okay. Do it. He's like, I don't want to will. I don't need you. He turns and shoots you. And he turns and shoots you.

No. Yeah. No, he kills Will. No then he turns the shoot to you. And then he turns the shoot to you. No. No, he kills Will. No, he kills the abuser. Abuser, I adopted this son of a bitch. I gave him a wonderful life. You abused him. I abused Will. Will, yes.

After I treated you so good, you're not gonna shoot your own twin brother to live with your papa. I'll shoot right there. This is a great son. I was gonna have to. If I ran away! Because this is his I survived.

He goes, J would come in the room and say, you knew Jersey pieces shit. Dude, I, with it, we now understand the next song that we have to have DJ lose things. If I ran away, I never have the strength to go very far. A tale to tell.

Alright, we're gonna take a quick break, hang on. Put a pin in this and we will be right back. We have to take these breaks, everybody, but we love you. It's the Bonfire. And now, back to the Bonfire, with Big J. Okresin and Dan Soder. Back on the bonfire series XM, fact you talk one of three I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Okresin we're talking adults, adopting adults. Woohoo!

I'm very excited for your adults adopting adults turn With Lou and bonfire becoming an actual fabling an actual real family. Damn. I could be your father, Dan I could be your father I will be your preacher teacher. Could you guys adopt each other? Christine, don't say crazy shit. This is why you almost get fired every day. Well that you don't know what an in-ground trampoline is. Yeah.

Good lord. That's just his face. There he is saying he goes. That's a tough one. What is it? And she goes, I looked it up. I got it now. The words didn't help.

I'm sorry, you're right. It was. It was in a adorable Christine moment. It was in a live, you're Christine moment. Okay, what? I think I could adopt you and Christine. Did you guys want me and Katie to do adopt you guys? That'd be cool.

I'll be your boy. I'll be your son. And you, that'd be fun. Katie's my mom. No, Eagle's stuff in the house. Only 49ers. No. I'll let you like the sixers. I'll let you like my mom. No, Eagle's stuff in the house. Only 49ers. No.

I'll let you like the sexers. I'll let you like the sexies. Thanks, Dad. Yeah. But none of that fucking go birds bullshit in my walls. Damn. Sorry. Can I pick the pizza place once?

You can maybe cheer for the dolphins. Cuzz of Mike. Hey, Dad, if I'm gonna watch football with you, you know, just come with food for yourself Dude I go sorry. I got to treat me I Figured you and your mom would pick whatever I'm gonna get street me next week. Maybe on Valentine's day I say treat yourself as Katie's out of town like I'm gonna fuck that street meat I'm gonna poop it all out of me like this

Do we give away an auto blow on Legion of Skanks yesterday? And I gotta tie this thing, it looks like you're sticking your dick into a PlayStation 5. It's really like it's too much machine for what you're doing. Right, what is it? It's like a big thing. Look at how the auto blow, it's, it's, they show you the ins like the x-ray shot of it and it looks like, I just said it on Skanks last night, it looks like they're testing like

one of those commercials where they're showing you the viscosity of oil. You know me it's like look how much is gunking up but this is just going smooth. Yeah look at that thing. That's a lot. Yeah isn't that what the thing that uh been aflux and been uh Bruce Willis worked on? Is that an oil rig? Yeah. Oh, it's sp-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- HBO probably real too. Playboy, remember to get rid of that. That's where they put the drugs before they crammed it up. Oh, look at that. It looks like a water filter. Yeah, it's bizarre looking. And then you stick your dick in the mouth

and then you fuck that machine, you're right. PlayStation 5 is probably the best way to say that. It's a, I didn't know it was a mouth, a hole. It's a crazy thing to stick your dick in. You gotta be very horny to be like, fuck yeah. Like to have zero thought. I worry you do it. I won't be able to unfocus on like the crap.

Trish, shh, shh, shh. Oh shh, shh, shh, shh. Fuck you, fuck you. I know, I'm just sucky fucking machine. Whenever I hear a noise like that, I just talk in that thing. You'll be like, won't you?

I'm like, it's good. I like it all day. Where do you go? Where do you gonna come? Where do you blow? Huh? What do you blow your lead your load? Yes in the machine. Does it fit her into it? I don't know. As dumb as it sounds, I feel like I would pull out of anything that, uh, with the only thing I'd want to leave my dick in ever would be a human, I guess. Yeah. But, uh,

Makes sense? I would never, ever in a flesh layer. I know it's what it's made for. You're supposed to take the thing out and like rinse it out through water, but it's like cold water. Right? Just, but also you know, I'd rather just pull out, but it doesn't matter when you pull out, like you still have to get like, pre-com and stuff.

You got to wash it out no matter what. I guess you might as well come inside, but I don't know the auto blow I bet is it like a cum catcher at the bottom? Yeah It's just you take it off like a vacuum bag Yeah, here's the gizbag We just take the gizbag off throw it away. Oh, yeah, just throw off the bag You know Dyson's working on one where you're not even gonna need a bag you just blow your load Yeah, I was good

Just say that's the other thing too is like having to get like your other accessories for this thing You get it goes well first, you gotta get the bags. Just bag, get your mouth lubed. We have a trash can in our house that has to get the bags for that trash can. It makes me fucking furious. You just buy other ones. Or just get the pay.

You can, but it doesn't lay in there, right? You know, it's crazy is they don't sell plastic bag, they don't give you plastic bags at drug stores anymore, because that used to be the best for garbage, for like a bathroom garbage. Oh, bathroom garbage, yeah. Although it's still pretty trashy to do it.

Why? You know why. You know the plastic bag, you're reusing a plastic bag. I know. Listen, I think I've never had one, I've never had a liner for a small trash can in my life. Sure. So I'm not other than a plastic bag from a grocery store.

I just rather not use a bag. And we don't, we notice we don't throw gross stuff in bathroom garbage. So you can just empty, it's like a Palsier basically throwing out tissues, toilet paper rolls, not even, it's just nothing that would be gross by no gross rule I have to ask them Christine, where do you put your female stuff then?

Usually in the bedroom trash, but I use a diva cup. So that's much better. Yeah, you're what? So that's much better. Yeah, you're what? Your female trash, but no, that's not true. Yeah, so you use that fucking weird thing to you I used to use pantyliners, but yeah, I use the the cup Yeah, the diva cup. What's the diva cup? She pulls out a shallus of fucking blood every time she goes take a piss and dumps it out Man, and then puts the cup back up there. You guys really do have a compartment. Yeah, you guys have like real compartment in there. You can just hold stuff. Yeah, oh yeah.

A cup, a cup. It just stays up there, it's weird. It's a big Joey Logano, fucking trash. Yeah, yeah. She got a big, big, big cup. Oh it's like the all valley tournament trophy. Look at that, better period care. Make the switch.

Deva cup. Christine, yours is not that color anymore. Might have to buy a new one. I buy new one every year. Year. Understand the whole principle. What is, what do you, where do you put this? Deva cup in her snatch?

Jacob, she puts his F and Christ. You need her to say it so you can come. Jacob. Do you want to say if you go Jacob, she puts this device. You see the device. Yeah, I get it. I'm not I understand. She rams it up. A personal and then cup side up. And then it collects and then it collects the rainwater. You're thinking she jams that the pointed end up or snatch and it's just like acting like a plug. No, you put it in with the cup side up and you kind of like mush it in there and then it

opens up back up in there snitch. Yeah, it catches the rainwater and then they pull it with a little plug out and then she goes to the bathroom. Yeah, when she goes to the bathroom, she grabs that little tip at the bottom and pulls a cup of blood out of her pussy. Dump set out in the toilet. And then she goes, that was a good yield. Yeah. And that's it. She sells to a local vampire.

Okay. Real good. Now, she dumps it out and then I guess she rinses that cup out my sink probably with your lufa. Well, that's all you use now, Christine. And pantyliners, yeah. For like the last 10 years. My god, this guy's really fishing. Yeah, dude.

Oh, God. That push has... It's not that aggressive. It's really gets easy after a while. Is it that close to the edge of your pussy? No. That's a weird bucket. It's way up there more. He's like, he just holds it.

He just pats the lips. He goes, all right, so you just hold on to that. It's fake pussy. He's weird. You don't feel this cup inside you. No. It's just the way I said it was. You don't.

Jacob, she hasn't told anything inside of her in years. Shut, Jay. You don't feel that cup inside you? You gotta place that right there. I don't know if it's too low, you will feel it, but if you get it up there right, and it's hot. Jacob's met the size. It's very hot.

It's very hot. It's very hot. It's very soft. But it's very soft. It's not the plastic from, look at it. No, it's surgical gravestylicone. Oh, all right, yeah. I'm thinking like the

solo cup by at the evil stadium. Yes, it's like a solo cup. Yeah, it's like a bird's playoff run. Yeah, yeah. Right. Mars Christine has been Simmons and Al Hoorford on the side. She was lucky. She got out of here ago. She was there two years ago to

Reggie White night. A commemorative cut for the Fugged minister of sacs. who was there two years ago to Reggie White night, she got a commemorative cup for the fucker, minister of sacks. And modern technology, that's great. That's not technology, Jacob, it's a rubber cup. They've been doing this since King Arthur. It's not really promoted, it's cramming a cup

upper snatch to catch blood and then dumping it out. It's maybe the most caveman thing that happens in my own. It's great and every tampons are gross and smelly and disgusting, and this makes everything so much cleaner, and it's not marketed because tampax is such a heavy advertiser for female magazines. My friend worked at Glamour, it was a whole thing. I'm saying you're cursed with the ultimate sin

that is bleeding like that for accepting the apple of Lucifer. That is right. You are now cursed with that for forgetting us So maybe the diva cups the best answer on that arguing that you're right tampons are gross I'm just saying the action Sounds insane and Jacob called it technology Technology just gotta get comfortable. I put your hand up there and it's hard to not get blood everywhere That's all I mean I bet it used to get in your hand

I would spill nonstop. If I was a lady and I'm jamming a cup into Mahoolah, I'm telling you right now, you're gonna get a quarter of that cup pulled out. What happens is you pour it and then it gets under the toilet seat, but I'm a girl. So I never lift the toilet seat up. So then Jago's in, lifts the toilet seat up,

blood on the toilet seat, gross. Murder scene. Wait. I'm confused about this whole thing. You're sitting, blood on the toilet seat, gross. Murder scene. Wait. Yes, Jacob? I'm confused about this whole thing. You're sitting, it's time to take it out. It's full, right? It's tea time.

Or with me here. Go ahead, Jacob. So you're sitting on the bowl just to remove it? And then she stands up, and then she stands up and pours it like cocktail. Like, do we have a cocktail? She's like a high pour. She's like a little bit more.

So, hey, just make me a red eye. You pull it out and then what? You hold it up like victorious and then pour it out. Or are you just you hold the cup and both hands above your head. Someone in a salad some piece. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And then she pours it. She says this is the blood. This is my blood drink from it all of you. And she says may the beast And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may.

And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then it may. And then Romulus. He's finally here. And then J.D.O.S. Stop getting blood on the toilet seat. In the middle of my thing. I need to bring up the toilet seat thing.

Jacob, I agree with you on this one. I must be futtled as you as the hell blood ends up underneath the toilet seat. I'll have to turn it the time. Well, you don't have to stand up to port out. You can just sit there and just like port out. Yeah, I don't know how it gets under the toilet seat either. It doesn't make any sense to me, but it's under there. Lips under.

Wait, is it another thing? Is this like, you have to hold this out like daily? You're told about a couple times a day. Yeah, dude, it's grape stomping season. It can only hold so much blood. Yeah. Sorry, they got a thick fucking vino running through.

What happens if you forget? It just explodes. Waterblur. You feel it. Yeah, so I'm saying. When you let it get too full, you feel it. When you start to fall out, it gets too heavy. You mean when you're a cup, cup of runneth over?

Has it ever been in a tippy top? Oh yeah. Ew. You don't have it all the sudden, you feel like, I don't know how to describe it, like you feel a swish and then you feel wet and you're like, I have to fucking go to the end. Oh no, that's when you're coming out.

Then you, then you shoddly wash your hands, probably come out and make food or something. Pean, I mean you have an a penis really is like having a Honda Accord. You have to do very little minimal work. And they get a lot of miles without doing any work on it. And they have, Pussies are like jaguars. You have to go to a jaguar dealer to get a fucking fix. Oh, you're getting this thing's on a Toyota chassis.

Yeah, but for some reason they make the parts are a little different enough We got to send away. Meanwhile, we're like I haven't honestly had my old change in like three years. I think I'm okay I get to a thousand miles. You don't hear anything the engine working hard. Nothing goes I put in synthetic ones from the boys in back. I drove this in fact They said it would give me a couple extra thousand, but I don't back. I drove this in fact they said it would give me a couple extra thousand but I don't fuck years. I mean while pussy's who just like and then the cup you know it's the three-day cup challenge. Just shoot and fucking lady snot out of you all the time randomly. Yeah yeah you're like a constant pit crew for your own snatch. Damn dude. I mean I'm just gonna say if

you don't if this doesn't sell you on a Toshi but they also because I imagine like does like blood go down You know like Christina Queef put on to thanks Jacob to mark I'm saying is so much I Would love a big day another market. I don't know why we don't have them yet Get it because you order the things online and you only order 15 things for yourself. Nothing shows up for me ever. That's why. That's not true. I got you new pocket scarves this week. And scarves?

And most of this stuff I orders for both of us. It's not true. Bounty. Bounty. Both of them up for you and Dan if you if you buy them. What? We'll hook both of them up. I'll hook yours up and Dan's if you get them to my hot water But if you're getting a hot water I haven't done that but I can I can figure it out

But if you want to get a plumber that's really man. That was very masculine. I don't think it'll take me that I like that he goes all to get in there. Give me the tools. I didn't mind that one bit that fucking cowboy Yeah, look to me with a couple of blows blood. I don't have any problem doing it Right We made another couple of post blood all for you. Oh, is this fascinating Is this where the lady's gonna say tell her mom to go fuck herself? We have a few like what we have like five more minutes 10 dad 10 all right Sun Yes, Jacob?

Oh, this question for Christine. Oh, Christine, sorry, this is just on my mind. Yeah, keep going, dude. Keep going back to the cup of blood if you want. Final question, though. Wow, you don't know that. Christine, how do you clean this thing? Because you're putting it twice a day,

you pour this out into the into the toilet and then what now it's got to go back up. I think she does a spit rinse like an over cow boy like an old cowboy bartender where she spits in it with a rag and then shines it out. What's a little TP and she just pushes it out. Eee eee eee storm coming in. For some of your real answer now. You just rinse it off and then at the end of your period, you boil it and that sanitizes it. So you don't rinse it after each like you set twice a day. So you pour out the I say twice a day, but I mean, I'm not one. Huh?

So cup one, you're, you got to empty cup one. Now it's got to go back in the second half of the day. What do you do with the, you just put it back in without rinsing it out? No, she said she rinses it out I generally rinsed it out if I have to like empty it here. I don't rinse it out I just put it back up there and I could bring a water bottle in that look the world I mean dude having a push those like treat you got treat a wound all the time. Oh, I know

You know an actual movies where they do that where they just like pull it you're like oh fuck You're like the heroes got to do this thing. That's just ladies with their pusses all the time. And in the rest of the three weeks, you gotta make sure it doesn't stink. You guys got a lot of fucking house keeping to do. But, don't, don't. It's not that hard, you just, I mean, the gynas are like self-clensing,

you just use soap and water. Do you believe it? Yeah, I don't believe that you need like, dooshes and that type of shit. Obviously, you need to use soap and water on the outside But I don't I think that stuff actually fucks up your answer for what's that smell in my mustache shut up Didn't they say douche bags where our douches were bad though. Yeah, they fuck up your pH

Dude, douche's rule bro. They always have fucking awesome Blows of mountain dew they also fucking drive CRX's And they'll tell you how hard they fuck their X-Girlfriend. I did from a diva cup. I got a bacterial infection. Here we go. It's too typical. I literally, it was like when people talk about stink pussy, I didn't, it was like that bacteria infection. I never, I remember I was at the stand and I was like everybody can smell my dirty pussy. Oh man, what a lyric. So fucking disgusting remember I was at the stand and I was like everybody can smell my dirty pussy Oh man, it was so fucking disgusting. I was like squirting v- That's when I use vinegar. Oh, yeah, I had to go to the doctor. Oh

What did the doctor say it was like did you put vinegar in this? I just I didn't like that he goes he's like oh, this is classic stank pussy He goes I smelled your butt block away. Are you putting vinegar in this thing? It was so fucking gross. Oh my away. Are you putting vinegar on this thing? It was so fucking gross. Oh my god, how quick did it cure? It was pretty quick, like, as soon as. Yeah, there.

Slowly back. Every day is new journey. My pussy smells like nothing. Yeah. My fart smell like nothing. Yeah, everyone thinks about themselves for some reason. My farts don't smell like anything I could don't gonna fight over I

Could have played in college sport you know any sport sports any Sporting just just fucking sports sports sporty spice It's good damn we're gonna get you to Chipotle. Chipotle? Chipotle. Chipotle. Chipotle.

I'm just gonna have my normal two tacos on a Tuesday. And then how good was Wednesday's episode when we talked about that serious employee that got fired? We thought it did Scott Bayo's music. He moved on that on Tuesday. That's what I mean. Remember on Tuesday's? Is that the show? It's what I was talking about.

Yeah, dude. Tuesday, remember? It was the night right before we got our sick ass Beards they have you are looking fly dude. I'm DJing at live Yeah, I'm so excited for Dan type beard. Did I'm ready to tighten up? It's gonna be nice. I'm excited You're gonna walk out there. like Goddamn model, dude. I'm a model, you know what I mean, and then I take my little town and I'm gonna be here alone. You're shaking a little tooshy.com. Make sure you go to bigjcomedy.com,

get tickets for Carolines February 18th through the 20th. Nailed it. 15 to the 17 Dan's gonna be at Akmikamadi Club in Minneapolis Minnesota 17 to the 19th, but we're still jammin 17 to the 19th. Yes And then the weekend after that. Yes, he's going to be in Raleigh Good night. Yeah, buddy memorize that good job for tickets and all tour dates, go to dancoder.com. It hurts. Also exciting, because I'm gonna be back in Denver

first weekend of March. Thanks. With my adopted mother, Trish. Yep. With your adopted mama, I'll pick up some of your binkies and bring it back. I'm actually gonna stay in the condo. Are you really?

Yeah, in Denver. Just because it's going back to Aurora and they're coming back when you got two shows in a day, I'm just good dance. stay in the condo. Are you really? Yeah, Denver. Just because going back to Aurora and then coming back, when you got two shows in a day, I'm just good at dancing. I don't like it. Jacob is really, he's looking at Christine very different. Yeah, she's like, and she goes, and that's when chunky pus started coming out.

And he goes, why, how do you handle all that stuff flying out of your body? I'm 30 questions I could ask her, but we're wrapping. Yeah, fascinating. Periods? No, the way you can handle it. Contrap, you're using. Contrap, shit.

The way your disco dancing. The way you can recommend it for any woman out there. Ladies, listen up. If you don't mind having fucking Cheetos fingers, but instead it's Period Blood, you eat and spice fucking Cheetos fingers, but instead it's period blood. You eating spicy Cheetos? She goes, no, I was in the red of old eggs. No, please say it was flaming hot Cheetos.

The only thing could be red, you know? Straight out of my gaaand straight out of Pusay. I'm coming straight out of Pusay with really red fingers in a diva cup. Check out the bonfiremerch.com, the bonfire merch.com. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you