The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - DJ Lou Sober Celebration

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

Longtime Bonfire producer and maestro DJ Lou has one year of sobriety, so the gang surprises him with gifts, treats, and a poem by Jacob. | A former member of One Direction performs in the lobby and Jay is unimpressed by all the commotion caused by young fans at SiriusXM. | Big Jay has a sexy idea for Christine this Halloween. He wants her to greet trick-or-treaters without pants and give them a holiday thrill. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Yo, Tupac. Rest in peace, dog. Gone too young. Oh, nothing's good, dude. Damn, yo, how annoying would an old Tupac be, though? He'd be so gay right now. He would have never shut the fuck up.

He would be out of the closet being like, listen, bitch. Oh, that'd be great, dude. Just him and little Nazax just dragging their dicks across the tiles? Oh, it'd be so hot. Oh, dude, you have to do a feature spot on a Lil Nas X song Yo Tupac, do me a favor, can you do this thing where you pop out of my booty hole in the video Satan's booty hole

Oh What do, do do Who's lemonade? Who's in the fishbowl? Who the fuck is in the fishbow? Who's causing all that? We had to walk around. I hate getting stopped.

We got stopped, and the guy said no you can't go this way our guy our guy did you hear the little girls screeching for whoever the fuck that is no there's a zillion girls outside too

and they're dressed like little fucking whores and I want to talk to their parents I want to talk about their parents it's their fault that I'm thinking those things I'm thinking out there that's not their fault that's the parents's fault no no

watch your children better don't let your daughter wear a shirt where you can see your nipples and pussy that's not my fault that's that you yep Back me up, bro You're right I'll back you up man

Fuck these little slept bitches And their whole moms I gotta spend the whole Fucking lunch break out there Trying not to look at fucking nips And box Yeah you had a heart on the whole time And your sweatpants

Entire time Sweepant shorts Yeah All those girls too I could tell they really wanted my cock They just looked over And saw me eating my imitation crab meat salad

Yeah And I think that was like Oh this guy I'll put anything in his mouth Yeah he likes fish hot dogs He's a guy like his fish hot dog, so he's probably super, he probably definitely wants to munch my fucking snooter. So sad about my lunch. That's how the girls call it, right? A snooter?

No. My little snooter? Oh, yeah, they do call it that. Right? Like, what? That's what, all the girls call it. Actually, everybody, we all call it. After we saw it in that photo, we all call it the schnooter.

Yeah, yeah. And like my little fucking stinky slot. Oh. Is that one, they say? They call it stink wrinkle, but yeah. I don't know. I'm not, I don't have my finger on the pulse of what the kids are saying out there. Yeah.

But it was like little... Snooter. Just a little paper cut, just a little wet paper cut. Wow. It's getting uncomfortable. What is? Talking about little girl vagas. What are the kids call them?

I don't know. I'm not a kid. I'm trying to speak the language. Well, don't speak little kid, vagi. Is that what you call it? Vigyes. The little vagas. Little vagas.

With their little vagas. Dude, you fucking loved your lunch. Christine loved her lunch, and my lunch sucked. My lunch was a basic little thing. Yeah, but you love imitation crap. Do you enjoy imitation crab? That's not the way I would have had it mixed up with the peas and all that shit, but still. I heard you, when we went to the buffet across the street, I heard you go, ooh.

Yeah. And I was like, imitation crab. I'm taking a couple of horking scoops of that. You took a couple scoops. I got rice and what was it? Brisket. Barbecue brisket. Sucked.

It's a weird choice. No, Christine actually at the end goes, it should have been potatoes. And I was like, you're right. Yeah. That would have been amazing. So good. Yeah. Yeah, rice.

It's starch, for sure. But you did have, you did try the pork. It was, it was called crackling. I almost forgot, dude. People, people know crackling, it's good. But it's the skin of the pork with some fat and then the meat underneath. So it's like three layers. It's meat, fat, and then skin.

And the crackling part is supposed to be the skin, but apparently you got a non-crackling piece of crackling. It was just rubber. Your skin. It was like the, it was trying to eat an ear. Watching him, he bit into it, all the skin, he goes, oh, this kid's coming, all the skin's coming, all the skin's coming. As you would assume, all the skin came off when I tried to bite through this crackling, I'm told. Oh, dude, it's crispy.

It's like a potato chip. Yeah, usually. It's like a potato chip made out of salt water taffy. It was a nightmare. Everything I thought it was going to be, it exactly was in my mouth. I heard a squeal. and he just dragged it he dragged it it just ripped off the skin off the meat

it was crazy yeah it was like meat gum it was it was skin it was a pig skin you're supposed to practice tattooing on that not eat it oh I hated it I didn't I didn't like it at all but you tried it big boy that's what I'm proud of you I put it in my mouth put it in your mouth you good kid That's more than I've done with cock. Yeah.

And I say I don't like that. You do. You love it. So now you know the one way you can get me to try cock. Yeah. Is you say one, it's crispy like a potato chip. It's a meat chip. And I'm going to love it.

Do you like meat chips? And then I'm going to surprisingly going to love it. Jay, do you love meat chips? Yeah, but it's like if you had the whole stack of Pringles at once. Yeah. Damn, Bobby was fucking bah humbug this weekend when I was like, dude, I say Pringles are probably one of my top favorite potato chips. He goes, it's not a potato chip. It's not.

You need to break my heart and show me it's a it's a product no it's not it's a it's a it's it's a it's a it's a it's an insane statement you can get buried right now on a caller topic if you want but you will get annihilated let's save that for the later in the show I would like to put this out there to the fans because I know a potato chip is potato sure that's it it's a potato that they fry chip a A pringle is flour, is a lot of stuff There's potato.

Potato flour. Flakes, I think. Yeah, it's not potato chip. A potato chip is a potato chip. You don't have to say it's a potato chip. To say it's more cracker than potato chip is bat shit crazy. I would say it's more cracker because what goes into a cracker is flour and all other ingredients to make, they make.

I know, but Bobby, we can go to the callers. We will. No, no, maybe we shouldn't. So I'm just going to, I think I can flip. you on this yourself. Cracker always implies what it's to be something's put on a cracker no cheese and crack absolutely no cheese and crackers for sure salami cheese and crackers all that kind of vagina yeah yeah yeah it's crying out it makes little squirrel sounds everybody can't look dirty pussy everybody can smell it we can hear it we can

hear it now we hear it is how dirty it it's it's become rickety oh yeah it's become rickety it's it's it's October coming up so it is Halloween it's haunted it's Haunted vagina. This is the season of haunting. Are you guys going to do Halloween? Are you doing trick-or-treaters? Are you going to be one of those fucking shit couples that turns the light that we see the TV on?

Are you going to give candy this year? I'm not there. Where are you? Mother ship. What night is it on? Thursday. Is it Thursday? No.

Friday. It's a Friday. Yeah. So you're going to be gone. But you're going to do Halloween. Yeah. I'm going to hand out candy. I'm going to see if.

She's going to raise her blaze. She's going to raise her blaze. the apples guys just putting razor blades in the recent pieces are you dressing up aren't you no but Dawkins is going to have a little Halloween you're not going to dress up like a witch Christine make us be known in this neighborhood answer like yes like have no pants on or something just like just like a shirt and let all the kids like sort of see your pussy sticking out of the bottom and then you give them things and then you reach behind you the candy's always behind you and you turn around you give them fucking some asshole and you turn around oh man they're going to talk about you

forever you'll be in those kids minds forever for the rest of your life Let me say so. Christine, make a mark in this world, would you? I'm telling you right now. You think it's going to be Skank Fest? That's going to be gone with memories. But you will live forever.

Those kids will tell their kids who will tell their kids. Once they audit Skag Fest, then they find it. It's just the dreams Jay had when he was a kid. I'm telling you right now. You are new in the neighborhood. People around the neighborhood are like, what are these people are going to be? What's her story? I bought really cute Halloween decorations.

I have a wreath for the front door. A wreath for Christmas. A wreath. It's a really cool black twig wreath. That's fucking Satan. Nobody wants that. No, no, no, it's great. Did you put funny, like, skeletons and hands coming out?

She's got a decomposing goat skull on the back door, which is weird. No one's even coming out there. Why don't you get... No, our neighbors across the street have, like, two blow-up things, but they're constantly falling over. We'll get the ones that don't fall over. Blow-up things suck. No, I think I'm maybe getting some cobweb for that witchy front tree we have. Yes.

I'm going to do a full nativity on the lawn, but it's going to be only people of color. everybody inside is going to be only like dark dark what do you mean it's going to be like Wesley Snipes is like Joseph like I'm going to have it really be like the darkest of dark people the way they really were yeah Jesus is going to be uh play you're going to have the original people Jesus is going to be played by bowl bowl manute bowl son yeah he's not going to have abs he's going to have a little pot belly from gyros I'm going to have a live nativity with Ethiopian kids I brought over Christine, you have to get an outfit

And you have to put If you're gonna get cobwebs You gotta get like little eyeballs and stuff Are you doing I got it Black nose black nose Whiskers Cat ears

Yeah a kiki coat suit Tair in the little back of the body suit Where you have an actual butt plug Of a cat tail in Nice And when you turn around to give everybody candy And you bend over Yeah

The opening's gonna open a little bit And they're gonna go Is that a fucking butt plug You're gonna change lives When you bend over, just go... Meow. Well, maybe I'll get cat of yours. Christine, skank fist doesn't mean anything to anybody.

This is the mark you're trying to leave in this world. Yes. Curving out on the neighborhood? The coolest chicken the neighborhood. The coolest chicken the neighborhood, I say. Are you going to do? What kind of candy bars are you doing, by the way? You're doing full bars?

No. You're not going to do full bars? Really? Your first Halloween in the neighborhood, you're going to do little small trick-or-treats. Oh, we've got to come correct. Are you doing... Christine, they've seen the cars. Okay, let me ask you a question.

They've seen the cars. They've seen the landscaping. Yes. You've got to come. You're the ones with the pool in their neighborhood. Come on. You have a jacuzzi and a pool. All right, let me ask a question.

If the kid comes up, are you going to let them just stick their hand in and grab with it? You're going to hand it to them? You're a fucking bitch. But I'm going to give them multiple pieces. New plan. New plan. Fill a bunch of Ziploc bags with like three miniatures each. Each makes them show different.

Then front load them. Bobby, please. Front load them. Are you listening? I'm listening. Front load them into your pussy. And then when they come, what you do is you go, hey, kids, and you tell them, like, you're like, open the door.

So they open the door. And when they do, you just fucking, f***ing! And fucking fire a Ziploc bag of candy at them. But what if this is really quick, just spit on it on. What if there's more than one kid? She's going to have to load her vagina up every time? I'm going to say Christine could probably put four or five bags of three miniatures inside of her. But can she shoot them out?

Individually, are they all going to be shot at at once? Is it like a bouquet of the wedding? That's a question for you, I think. I've never shot anything out of my pus, so I'd have to practice and see how far I could get. Okay. It's a very earnest answer. Did you get that whole thing, please? It's a very earnest answer for a very ridiculous question.

You have to, listen, you let the kids, this is your first time. Well, don't you full-sized bars? Like, I think that's so. Let me tell you something. You do full-size bars? you're, if you show up in... You might as well have showed them your asshole. Yeah, if you give full-sized bars,

you're the house that everybody's going to. I bought a really cute little jack-o-lantern thing, though, for the candy and the full-sized bar is normally. I need bunches. All right, how about this? Now, we do have to let them know that we're the funny people in the neighborhood, too. So if inside the jack-o-lantern that has the things,

have a suction-cup giant dildo coming out of the middle. So as the candy goes down, the kids are grabbing like a cock. Yeah, that's funny. That's good. Do that. I think you end up on a list for that. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, the who list.

Yeah. The fucking best house and the funniest. The list of who I got a high five next time I see him. Yeah. Let the kids in the neighborhood prove that not everyone's a snitch these days. Yeah. That'd be a nice thing. So we go, I guess, when a father comes over and goes, hey, did you have my twins touch a rubber cock to get candy?

And I'm going, oh, I knew those kids were fucking pussies, dude. Yeah. I know, just so you know, your kids are pussies. And then shoot a Snickers bar out of your snatch right in his face. You could do that, right? Right. One? Yeah.

Full size? I mean, we'd have to test it, Jay. I'd say this. I'd say what I would do is I would unwrap it and put it in a condom or something. So you probably get the, like a pion. Yeah. Yeah, like the back of your vagina could have like an elastic, like a slingshot. Yeah, I feel like the candy bar wrappers always have that ridge on the end.

You don't want that inside of you. Yeah, you have to let the kids get what. whatever they want, Christine. Be that person. Christine. Don't be the person that gives one or two hours. Let them grab, you think? Yes.

Better idea. I'll grab. I'm going to get, I'm not running out candy. Christine, you become a human jack-a-lantern. Put the candy inside of your holes and let the kids reach it and get them themselves. That's a good idea. And especially if you have like a, if they step on something when they're reaching your hole and a spooky sound happens, Moa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Bobby, picture this. Because Christine's been doing Keegles, hardcore. for the past four years she doesn't talk about it a lot a kid goes in and she feels he's fishing he's trying to get too much this kid's being greedy yeah he's greedy she clamps down on him scares the fucking shit I mean he can't get his fucking arm out of her

all the other kids are screaming they run away kids are fucking screwed one kid stays behind for a minute but it's like it's like he's not even his friend he's just the best kid in the neighborhood yeah but all of his people that he thought were his friends fucking gone right and Christine's holding him on there and she's kind of like she's like that crazy friend dresser laughing at him and it's

freaking him the fuck out and then then she's going to let go she's going to let go while he's pulling back so he falls backwards and she's going to go tell your friends don't get greedy yeah and then and then but he looks in his hand a whole king-sized Snickers bar

you did let you know what you were firm but fair yeah because he did do a crime he was trying to do a crime you scared the shit out of him and you go you're going to get your one candy bar but next time don't go in there fishing for five candy bars because it's always easy to come in hard

and lighten up than to come in light and harden up they're not going to they won't respect you no you come in hard I this is going to be a fun Halloween this is going to be a really fun Halloween oh I hope our ring video cameras up by then I hope that your neighborhood is a dead neighborhood and there's no families and nobody comes just Christine eating candy by herself in a negligee that'd be so funny Christine with a butt plug in just covered in chocolate all over her cheeks she has to pull the little uh Ziploc bags out of her snatch nobody came Jay How many more up there?

Oh, shit. I think there's one more up there. That is too small. That is ridiculous. Oh, my God. How many, what kind of person are you? Why did you buy 700 fucking black cats? You know why she bought them?

Three! And a pumpkin that's half the size of them. None of those cats are scary. They're going to think they're regular cats. They're adorable. You need to get a skeleton or a zombie. Can you at least admit the cats are fucking great? They're very adorable.

I really do like the big one. The big one's my favorite. I wasn't planning on getting the whole family, but they all spoke to me. They all spoke to you, literally. Do we find out who's in a fishbowl? No. What the fuck?

Why can we find out who's in the fish bowl? Why does Jacob walk in like an older game from Miami? You want me to go in check? Yes. All right, I didn't. Okay. Didn't Christine, didn't you, like, text before? Asking who it was?

Yeah, they said, I thought we got an answer. Jacob, go put your mouse. Is it not that person? Jacob. Lemonade isn't a day. name of a person. Jacob, go up to the glass, put your mouth on it, and go hot and blow. Dude, blowfish him. Yeah, blowfish him. Jacob, he's not going to. You'll do it? Blowfish him. Thank you. I don't believe in him.

Well, just steam up the glass and write a heart on it. I tell you, how many goddamn you're going to work? You guys never done one goddamn thing I said. God damn it. Give him 5,000 directions. He has done one goddamn thing. Is that the bowl of candy you're using? I don't understand why you think that that's too What candy is in there? What's in there? What do you have sitting there? What's in there? That's just other stuff I got at home goods that day.

What is it? It's Dawkins Amphibious Toy. It's just the bottoms. Are you gonna give that out for kids? No. Is that drumstick bottoms? Yeah. Okay, I respect that.

You know what that is? No. Drumstick bottoms. They sell now, it's just, you know, when you eat a drumstick, the best ice cream cone? The best. They sell the bottoms. The bottom, just the cone filled with chocolate part.

Yeah, it's addictive. Pretty good. What Don just got? Mini drumsticks. I mean... They're mini. Yeah, but you're grabbing two at a time. Yeah.

Of course. Mini. Yeah, we have regular drums. We're a house. I have regular size drums. I like a mini because I'll just have one. That's enough. And then you have another one.

Of course. And then you sneak another one. Trader Joe's makes minis. And I'll crush those two at a time. Love a mini. They're chocolate with chocolate coating on top of chocolate chip ice cream. I got. Those ones I got.

Trader Joe's. Oh, they're so good. Trader Joe's. So good. Oh, my God. The blinds? And they even. They stack them like this.

They stack them like up there, up there. Yeah. You know what I got? I got mini magnum bars. You know the Magnum bar is the... The Magnum bar is the best chocolate bar in the world. It's a European chocolate bar. It's chocolate ice cream.

So the chocolate's on the... But the chocolate on the outside is thick. It's a thick chocolate. I like my chocolate thick. Oh, when you bite into it, it's like biting into a candy bar with ice cream. Oh, my God. Magnum.

Is it black and vainy like a Snickers? Yeah, on the outside. Yeah. Oh, I got minis. I got minis. A minis is good because it makes you feel like, hey, I'm just having one, but you haven't two. Yeah.

Christine can take the biggies, but she does the minis too. I heard that. She has to live with a mini. You don't know if a dick's too small, or maybe they're just too hot. You can't get an answer. There's 7,000 people cheering out there. Jay, hit him. Jacob, I'm sorry.

I'm going to have to hit you, Jacob. I'm going to have to fucking slug you. Get over here and take the beat you're supposed to get. Take it. Right here. And there's another one of these. And write that. and right in your fucking bread basket and then two more up top to your chops

Jacob I couldn't the security stop me immediately how are you talking so much the way I'm beating the living shit out of you oh you need a little bit more daddy does daddy need to teach baby another lesson does daddy need this huh why do you make me hurt you I love you so much one more one more you know what black Lou's probably got a little pet-up shit one more for Black Lou okay Give me one. Okay, one for Bobby. Oh, God.

One more. I want one more. Bobby wants one more? Please. Where you want? Breadbasket? Right there. Hit me in the nuts.

You want a couple down there? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, these are sweatpants. Bobby, these are sweats. Oh, I'm punching myself in the nuts. Oh, oh.

Oh, there they are the magic. Magnum minis. Oh, yeah. That's a thick chocolate right there. That's a thick chocolate, man. Hell yeah. You know where I got one of those when I was in Iraq? Really?

They weren't even legal here yet. No, I thought Iraq was, we were going to lose weight. But apparently morale, food is a real big thing in the war zone. Oh, yeah. And we went to the women. Went to the cafeteria for food, for lunch or whatever they call it, the PX. I don't know what they call it. And we went in there and they had Magnum bars as much as you want.

want for days and milkshakes i got two milkshakes one time and i'm walking back and two of the marines went you're going to eat both of those milkshakes fatty it's called drinking them i went i went no you can have one and he and he took it he goes thanks and then i went back to my table with Colin and I spilled my milkshags and fatty got no milkshakes I mean those soldiers are heroes in so many ways we never understand that soldier saved Bobby's life probably

those were the fucking milkshakes ever I've never seen Colin Quinn laugh that hard in my life with him those were the ones that were going to do it those were the diabetes ones those are the ones baby those were the two double milkshakes you know I can't do milkshakes why it's a big part of my identity

I can't No, I've told you this story I'm going to tell it abridged If I haven't told you this Buddy You guys all know it here I love milkshakes So I love milkshakes

Why can you do it But so A billion years ago I was doing a gig Mohican Sunday I think the first time I did it Like a weekday headline Somewhere in the small room And

DeRosa came with me On the gig And I hooked up with some girls I got drunk And I got drunk And I hooked up with a girl that night and like uh when i woke up she was gone and she left a note like a number or whatever and i was like uh i just remember to being like i was like yeah i know

she wasn't like holy shit attractive to me but i was like she was cute though i think she's a cute chick and mohagan's on cute sure and then i was going to do a gig where i was going to be it was black comedy club still i was doing black club still and i was like uh and i was like uh i was like oh i'll have this girl come down there with me and we'll have the weekend we'll hang for the weekend fuck it'll be great we've already fucked so that's out of the way she accepted it fast that suggestion and took a train down from so fast took a train down from wherever i'm gonna you you ask me and see if i got it right go ahead ask me oh hey do you want to come yes okay i do i do it may cost you a couple of it's okay i want to come okay okay i do it may cost you a couple of it's okay i want to come

Okay. But, you know, I expect you to do. I love it. I want to be there. All right. So, yeah, a lot like that. That was good. That was good her.

So when I pulled up, I picked her up, like, in the city. Oh, my God. As soon as I saw her, it was like just, it was no mistake. As soon as I saw her, I was like, oh, right. That's what she looked like. Was it sun? It was sun out? Dude, it was just like, I was like, ah, shit.

But I was like, I was like, I was like, I can't, like, she's taking a train from wherever she's from to be here, whatever, like an hour away. Yeah. So I was like, all right, we'll just get through it, I guess. And we went back to the, where we drove down to. Did she sit up front were you? Yeah.

Oh, so you had to drive with her the whole way? Wait, was De Rosa? DeRosa wasn't there with me. I'm wrong about that. He wasn't there with me. Okay. Because, yeah, that wouldn't make any sense. No, because I was definitely by myself because, yeah, no, she drove up front with me.

Wow. We drove down there, and it was, like, nice enough, you know what I mean? But I know it's like, now I feel the pressure of, like, a girl where I'm like, this chick is, she made it very clear. She stoked the fuck, and I'm like, I don't really even want to at all. And we get to the hotel room and we did fucking right away, I knew that was going to happen. But that night, three nights gig, that night I went, and we went to a dinery afterwards, and I ordered a milkshake knowing it fucks my stomach up. Oh, you tried to get food poisoning. I did

I until I was sick and I was in the bathroom all night so we couldn't fuck you tried you tried to fucking kill yourself

so you didn't have to fuck her again the next night we the next day I kept her busy all day taking her out to places

like we're walking around malls or whatever and then we and then we go after the shows I go hit a diner

before we go back and then I go man you know hopefully you know whatever today you know

maybe I'll take some An acid or something, but I got to get one of those milkshake. It was delicious. As much as it killed me, that was delicious. And she was like, uh, she was like, all right. And I drank it that night, because she was still like, you know, kept mentioning it, she wanted to like fuck around.

That night, I shit and had the door open cracked talking to her. What the fuck? That's so psychotic for you. Can I ask a question? Why did you say no? I would have felt so bad. Why? Yeah, but.

If I was her, that would have devastated me. You didn't feel bad. Shitting. With the door open? If I was her, in my mind, if I was her, I would be thinking, like, oh, my God, they're so sick and, like, they're really proving it by opening the door. What the fuck? Just say, hey, I don't want to fuck. That's an option.

She made the trip, you know, so. What the fuck is wrong? So then, third night, third day we go out. We go back. I think we saw, like, open water. Maybe in the movie we went to go see at one point, just to kill time. Good movie. Billy Zane?

No. Is that Billy's name? No, it was like no name people in it. Oh, that's the other movie. Okay, yeah. I think that's what we saw. But we... Is that the couple that got lost in the sea?

Yeah. Okay. That's what the movie is. I pretty sure that's what we saw. And that third night shows, after the shows, we go to the diner, and I go, like, I went, I went, you know what? I know I'm going to pay the price for, but son of a bitch, I'm only here one more night. I gotta get me one of the milkshakes.

And she goes, you don't have to do this, man. It's fine. She knew. And I was like, what? I just love, I love milkshakes. Oh, that's the worst. She knew you were poisoning yourself, so you don't have to touch your coochie. It was an awkward three-hour drive back to taking her to her train that was another hour or so.

Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh. That hurts. I would have just fucked her. I would have just took the hit. I did the one time.

I would have fucked her every night. No. Now you wouldn't have. It was bad? How bad? This wasn't good, man. Was his zits on it? I don't remember that.

It was just like the shape of it was all bad. The shape of it? Yeah. She was very nice. It didn't have... Listen, I've been her in situations before. Would it look like a tree knot? I don't remember that now, just like her.

Like her shape. Just like her body? Yeah, the whole thing, like the face. I just wasn't attracted to her at all. Whatever reason, Mohegan's son, that... Oh, I'm sorry. So that's the mistake we're having here. DeRosa was with me, a Mohegan son, the night I met her.

Oh. Literally gave him a little shit, too, because I was like, hey, dude, maybe you'd mention that it wasn't that good and I shouldn't take her somewhere for a weekend. You were in the room, dickhead. Oh, why would you do that? He's like, I thought you thought that was good. He may have just thought I thought that was good. In full fairness to DeRosa, he may have just thought that was good.

You were, what, 100 pounds heavier? I've never poisoned myself not to fuck a chick for a weekend. That's just cool. Wow, it's just like lactic poisoning. I mean, lactose, lactose poisoning. It's just lactose poisoning. No big deal. I'm not even lactose intolerant.

What? Why can you have... But I can eat ice cream. Yeah. I can eat something about milkshakes, and it's just like the, probably the heaviness of, like, the fact, it's like, it's always like whole milk.

Is that what it is? It's just kind of what it is. Yeah, it just fucks me. Like, so milkshakes, I love... It's probably my favorite way to ingest ice cream, but I can't do it. Ice cream cone, no problem. That's just fine.

Good milkshake is like five scoops of ice cream. It's like an insane amount ice cream. Baskin Robbins is the best milkshake as far as like franchise stuff like that goes. And they offer it to you and like, hey, do you want this 77 ounces of it? Yeah. Yeah, dude, I do. Yeah. Hey, do you want a straw that you have to fucking be good at blowing guys to get into your mouth?

Oh. Love it. I came to like 30 pounds one summer working a goddamn milkshake machine. Yeah. Christine, by the way, you didn't have to just work the milkshake machine knows you volunteered every day hey I'm on shakes no everyone's really good at it is that what you called your boss

no the milkshake machine hell yeah I stayed at the Paris the Paris Hotel in Vegas and they have a candy store ice cream malt shop downstairs and I remember it was so fat

every night after my shows I would go to the bar like a like a like James Bond and order my malt you know those crazy malts I but just sit at the bottom by myself and drink a huge malt. And then let me get another.

Oh, Jesus. You just made me think, though, about a fat guy. That's a very interesting thing. And I think we get supported. We probably never even notice this before, but if fat guys like Mecca, if you see a place, a food place, that's 50s-themed,

you're going to get large portions and you're going to get a milkshake that you're getting that tin cup next to it with an extra, almost half a milkshake. Yeah. They have a place near me called Red Rooster It's around 10 minutes away And that's it right

Lord And like the women are all Like keep they don't look you in the eyes Right It's like Johnny Rockets right Just dance, sing and dance bitch Yeah That was my job

Ruby's Diner 50s theme Oh my God you fit right in Amazing milkshakes It's such a place for fats to go Yes And that's they have it When he gets on the rubies There's no you know what no one's ever said

At a 1950s design place Fry suck No one's ever said that From now. At a 1950s-style place. No one's ever gone. You know actually what everybody says at a 50th place? The onion rings are really good.

Yeah. It's the only place you're going to go where the onion rings are really good. And good for more than four minutes. Everywhere else, the onion rings are good for three to four minutes and then they're shoelaces. Yeah, and then I like a Johnny Rockets because even though I don't love the food there,

it's all good, but it's so greasy, sloppy. It's not, like, good quality at all. But I do like that eventually a cherry. child, an older teen, or hilariously enough, a 40-something-year-old is forced to sing and dance for me and humiliate themselves while I eat fucking disgusting chili cheese fries. Yeah, it is. I like that. I like that.

Just to see somebody's dreams that died. Oh, it's like Coldstone. Just peg them in the chest with quarters and they have to sing the whole song again. Sing again, you fucking idiot. What's the song they have to sing? I don't even know. Do you know? There's got to be a video.

It's the Coldstone thing they have to sing when you get to. get the thing. Lewis used to say he used to torture him all a time. We used to go tip my friend's sister and make her sing. Oh my God, it's torture. A great thing. Go to a bad neighborhood with a Coldstone and you are again, they hate their jobs and then they have to say your son.

Oh no, they just do a black version of it though. You want your ice cream? You got your you got your ice cream. I give your eyes cream. You can tell everything about a person if they enjoy when the stranger staff comes and sings happy birthday. Becky Rodriguez was downstairs coming upstairs.

Did she get stuck in, is she watching One Direction? No, her, the, the ring guy called. She had to go deal with that. The what? The ring guy called? Yeah, she's having her, she's getting some resized. Oh, her, I thought you meant their ring camera. No, no, no.

An old version of the ring camera. I'm Bill, I've been watching your ring and something weird's happening at your house. She was in the elevator on the way up, and she got the text, which was the confusion. Nice. Well, today is a very special day. Well, you don't want to hear the colds down. song? I do. I didn't think you brought it up.

I don't think you brought it up. If it's a word. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Oh, God. Oh, shit. I'll tell you what, that song could be

juzged up with a couple of well-placed and back me up on this, Lou, N-words. If it was just a few in the... No. No. It's why 90s hip-hop sounds so good. I don't understand. Sing it. Let me hear it. No, I can't sing it. myself here. All right. Well. And N-words

doesn't have the same flow if I say that instead of the actual word. I'll write it and we'll write it and then Lou Black Lou lay down the tracks. We'll judge up the Coldstone song. You'll have to wrap it if you wouldn't mind. I'm down. So the person in the lobby just for an update is Lewis Tomlinson and the song is called Lemonade.

And he was in He's still in there. No, but he was in One Direction. No, I don't think he was in one direction. So how are they shutting this down like the presidents or I mean, they stopped me and Jay and went, no. The guy who says, our guy who says, hello and goodbye every day, knows us, literally put his hand in Jay's chest. No, you have to go around.

It's not even out yet. Who is he? No, he is from One Direction. Absolutely. He looks, he looks. He's from One Direction? I mean, that makes sense then. Yeah, he's one of the ones in my favorite Shredds video.

He has old young face. I don't like Old Young Face. I hate it. So he's from One Direction. He has young boy hair and old guy forehead, young guy eyes. Yeah, he was probably everyone's like a third favorite, but he... That's a wig. But I'm telling you, this ain't going to be shit.

Is this the song? The girls were losing their mind. I heard it from my office. Yeah, but he's hanging on to the One Direction thing. You know what? He's probably going to come in here in five minutes, the way I'm talking about him, already. Is this what they were talking about? Exactly

So he was saying Don't talk shit about Guests that are here Doing other things Is that what he was saying? I thought he was saying If we're gonna have them in Don't talk shit about

No no no no We're not gonna talk to Louis Tomlinson We might I mean if we want the opportunity To maybe If we don't have the opportunity To have guests in I would rather talk to Lily Tomlin

She's great Well I mean Jacob We don't rather talk to Lily Tomlin Jacob that's where I expect You to fart to your chair With laughter No she's asking

I'd rather talk to Lily Tomlin Than Louis Tomlinson Jay She's going to relate to Jacob when she sees him in that chair. Remember? She was in the little chair. Okay. Nice talking to you.

Lily Tomlin. He got it. I got that. He got it. You gave him the big comfy couch thing. He didn't go for that either. He didn't go for any of it. Well, I was writing down the joke.

Why? Oh, because you're going to put the... You made a Lily Tomlin. Part of my notes. Are you going to put the punch line up on the fucking screen? Do that's how Jacob should start... Bobby said, like the couch. Jacob, you wanted to hilariously...

sandbag us you would put in the thing that airs on the on the screen when people listen to the show the PDT you would put the PDT you would put the punchline of whatever's going on first first just leave it it's like celebrating Bobby's birthday wait we didn't get to that yet yeah today today today is a very special day here at the bonfire for the bonfire family I'm very excited I'm very happy. And this day came. And I think we're all happy. We're all happy. And today we're going to celebrate and we want you guys to celebrate with us. Three weeks, Charlie Kirk. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Today, no. Today, no. Today, we're going to celebrate. No, no.

No, we're not celebrating that. Cosby's return in the comedy. No, no, no, Jay, no. No, no claps. Today we're celebrating. Jacob doing his very first day on Gaybrose OnlyFans cam. We're not celebrating that. We're not supposed to talk about that.

Oh, I'm pretty stoked about it. Okay, well, no. We're not celebrating. I got the first, I got the first subscription. because I just want to be helping out at a ground level. I'm not going to look at it, Jacob. I'm going to look at it. I'm going to look at it so much.

I'm going to spank my dick to you. I'm going to sign on his other names and not tell you what I want you to do. No, today is a very special day, and we're celebrating it. Lou, sober a year. Today. DJ Lou.

Today is a, his anniversary, has been so. sober, from drugs and alcohol. I'm sorry I didn't clap for that one, but I got to be honest with you. Nobody clapped with me when I had the other things that I was pretty excited about. Yeah, because it's not.

But I thought those other things were pretty big things, too. They were big. Bill Cosby's back, baby. And he's hornier than ever. And we have, we're going to celebrate. Christine, please, can you tell what you brought in? Tell them what you brought in. Well, there's a microphone right there.

We brought you the thing that made Bobby really fucking upset at our house. Yeah, really upset. It's a dead raccoon. It's the bento box of delicious desserts. Look at this. Wow, that rocked Bobby's world. It rocked the world. It is a bento box full.

I mean, this thing is the best dessert I've ever. I've dreamed about this thing. Also, your chicks in over cupcakes or whatever. Who are those from? Your chick. Oh, really? I knew there was a lot of secrecy going around I could feel things being planned

Oh no this was all just decided about five minutes ago We just keep things from you It is one year dude Fucking amazing And I had said there was something I wanted to get him When he was a year In fact Just so you understand why this didn't happen sooner

I was going to get this for you a while back And Bobby said don't wait until he's a year Yeah So I wanted to get this Just in case you In case you failed If this is the wrong Now, don't look at the price

You son of a bitch But there is a receipt in there If it's the wrong size They have it in the right size for you I don't know if you like your shit Open it up Could it be Oh

Oh nice Yes I went above and beyond I'd say What it is it I mean not for nothing I thought Jay was going to say That's from all of us I didn't know

We were going to individualize the fucking gift What a piece of shit you are This one came directly out No this is from the whole crew Well that's not what you said You said, this is for me. I said I wanted to get you a jersey. The receipt's still in the bag.

No, I know. In case it's the wrong size. Oh, okay, okay. I got you a double X in case you want to wear it over shit. Well, that's beautiful. Tell people what it is. You might be a regular X-L. Thank you, man.

I appreciate this. Brendan M. Mets. An official jersey. Official jersey. That's not a good way of looking at it. That's not the sober way I'm looking at it. But you're not. Yeah, one day at a time, Lou.

That's how you look at you. You're not that. one day at a god damn time yeah how how are you feeling buddy i feel better than i ever felt yeah yes feels good right yeah i mean you're at the top of your game yeah i'm not a person who likes change and i was never going to change but uh you know you can't do it alone and everybody in this room has helped me whether you know it or not i made the decision and it's the best thing i've ever done in my life i almost punched you right into the program I mean, you kind of did

You definitely flip them I almost uppercutted you directly into a meeting Which wait, before you take your first bite Yes I want to say, because of that Bobby also said this would be very important to you coming from me Because I know we haven't talked much

About the stuff, but Because I'm so proud of you and how much I love you and everybody here loves you, he wanted me to be the person to present you the one year official chip. Thank you, holy shit. For being sober for a year. Now, I told you, once you had that year sober,

you will fight me. So at Skangfest. Oh, I'm sorry. And there is also one more thing. One last thing for you. One last thing. I believe that you lost this, and we wanted to give back to you.

Your 2023 Skank Fest badge I remember this I remember this One year sober of booze drugs and crazy pussy You've done it You've done it I can't wait to go back to Skank Fest And actually be a fucking gentleman

Congratulations man We're very proud of you bro We're very happy for you Joe's cry You was crying You show up weird You're sorry pussy I'm proud of myself a little bit

Shut up God, what a queen That's longer than I ever made it I got up to like five months It's just been a roller coaster I almost cried When he ended up chip I always cried

I saw it Oh my God Can I say something to look? No next subject dude actually We had a comedian revealing The censorship rules For Saudi Arabia Crazy

No what do you got Jacob Well I wrote this in a letter Oh, shit. I worked on this, Lou. Can you put some sensitive music on? If you could, please. That's what I live for. Jacob, look at these evil simple carbs.

I know. Okay, buddy. I like that. Dear DJ Lou, congratulations on one year of sobriety. We've known each other. for many years. Through ups and downs, we've laughed and cried, sometimes we fought, even on camera. There were times I was angry with you, but mostly I was very worried. It takes great strength to

conquer your demons. You first showed your strength when, after decades of being Philip Morris's most cherished customer, you gave up smoking. You smoked so much that you, you smoked so much that you you were almost made an honorary Indonesian. They smoke a lot there. But you stopped cold. That was really cool, and it took real strength. There was one last piece to the puzzle. The Big Kahuna.

Or should I say Kalua? Alcohol. I have to admit, I was worried about this one. I could see your demons. But I thought, oh, he don't know, so he chases them away. I always held up hope that someday yet he'll begin life again. And so you did. A year ago today, you gave up drinking spectacularly. In a way, John Bon Jovi would call a blaze of glory. You hit rock bottom, but you rallied, and it's been a beautiful thing to see. Not only did you give up drinking, but from what I'm told, you lead meetings and are a role model to other people struggling.

That is pretty selfless and shows your true character. You may not drink anymore, but we can still drink in that juicy ass of yours. And that's happy an hour enough, and that's a happy hour that will last all. lifetime. Keep working on yourself. You're an inspiration for me to work on my own demons. Congratulations on your one year of sobriety. I raise a camo cup of seltzer to you for many more healthy and happy years to come. Congratulations. Yay. Congratulations. Salue. Check lose drinks. Make sure there's coffee. It's not. How funny of you is just whiskey. He's been drinking the whole time. Thank you, Jacob. That was beautiful. It was good for his body and brain.

Congratulations. That was beautiful, Jacob. Do you have any more so we can snack some more while you talk? That's about it. I covered for you. Maybe a poem off the top of your head? Yeah, real quick, while we dip some more of this snacks. It's coming for one more marshmallow. Oh, my God. That, uh, that, uh, whatever else the end here is a problem. Yeah, it's not heated. No, but it's not it's not heated. You want me to go heated? No, this can't heat. You can't heat. Why can't it You'd have to take it out of the plastic. Why? It's become a solid thing.

Oh, it's a chocolate. I'm not sure which one that is. I can transfer it to a cup and paper cup. You can heat it. You can heat it. That's good. Oh, my God. We have cupcakes.

Like a Marine. You adapt. You overcome. God, do you are a word, Smith. I think I ate too much chocolate too fast. Something's happening in my head. I don't know what happens. Well, while Jacob was reading that,

me and you were having a little bit of a bicker match happening over here because Bobby dipped his brownie into the caramel into my brownie no then the caramel in my brownie no then the caramel got stuck it broke off the caramel uh took the brownie in to the dip so then Bobby got a waffle to go retrieve the brownie right and then he got his fingernail brownie waffle all one shot it looked god damn delicious yeah yeah why but that was happening that little while I was pouring yeah while I was pouring my heart out you were all like fighting you know over waffles and dips jackals it took me out of it a bit I have to I

have to really rally to focus I know we were being a lot of commotion did you feel like we were being very Jacobi about it oh you made him a verb didn't don't even feel it happening I moved my microphone a man a bunch of times listen to me my brownie I got the brownie stick, and it broke off into the chocolate. It's not a stick. It's a chunk. It's a stick. It's not, though.

It's more of a stick. It's a square. It's not. It's a stick. Okay, I think you took a couple of pieces together, and that's why it broke off. You know what? That's not a stick right there, though. It's a chunk.

You're right. A couple pieces were together that made a stick. I thought it was a stick, but it was really a chunk. You were hoping it was a stick. I understand that mentality, too. one of the things that did initially attract me to Christine was when I went to Wawa Her boobs? No, we went to Wawa

And I would come back from Wawa Sometimes I'd bring her Pretzell when she was living with her roommate at the time And I would bring her Wawa And then I go, I'd go Hey there pretzel left She goes, you only brought me the one And I went, what? She thought the double

Like the eight, like the, you know, where it's two of them stuck together. Yeah. She thought that was a pretz. That was the serving. That is hot. I just thought it was one pretzel. It looks like one pretzel.

It doesn't look like one pretzel. It's two pretzels that are together. I ate too much. Yeah, yeah. I'm sweating my eyebrow. I'm sweating. I know. Well, the brisket rice combo.

I think I have diabetes. I don't know if you remember. You also made me eat a pig's ear. Maybe that was it. Maybe the pig face. and the chocolate yeah because then you ate it why does my eye hurt that's the pig is that the pig it's coming through oh my god damn lou we're all proud of you buddy you did fucking fantastic that it's great right isn't it awesome yeah yeah how's your life is it better yeah this

oh you haven't danced or laughed in a year i haven't been hung over in a year yeah and you still enjoy all the stuff you enjoy before except movies and music they suck now I mean they are a challenge you're right but I haven't fucked up any relationships and in fact I've created a great one so things are good you and Christine

that is nice to see your kids hanging out again I thought we went to sublime together I thought I was talking about me and him but okay no no no no no no it's his hot black girlfriend yeah that's right is she black or is she Indian

you keep asking I'm not going to tell you anymore okay well just you know for argument's sake tell me she's black that's what I said you have to say like that an Indian is she yeah okay yeah dude look at her some time oh you got isn't there a name for that uh let me hang on give it to me give it to me what are you going black and Indian all right hang on sometimes I let the gears work when I throw them up it's a little fast but go ahead okay that was okay wow because see this is one of the things Jake where you got to walk that line you know what I mean there's a funny answer here that's good for

everybody but you got to walk that line that is a danger of comedy that's why it's the tightrope walk let's throw it up to Christine see if she's got one Christine any ideas for something of black black I just immediately think Blindian I don't like it's just the easy one Blindian is nice I like I really like that's probably a thing already yeah that's the actual word for it Blindian is probably the thing yeah there's got to be something better are we talking india or native no india india yeah india so that works now black indian that's a unicorn black american indian like a native american indian yeah that's that's like a unicorn that's you don't see that well she was raised in south central l.a so she's black is sand edward taken yes okay

taken so that's not original no that wouldn't be a big j original a b joe oh i'm pretty sure that was take it a long time ago. Shut up. People say that already? I think that Nick DePaulo took that one. No. Dude, he's been fucking ripping my shit off for years. Well, he was after September 11th.

Dude, that guy comes for me. Look at that. Look at Christine thinks it's one pretzel. I thought it was one pretzel. You can see the split down the middle. Do you think of whole pizzas, a slice of pizza? Yes. I used to.

Yes. I used to. I mean, can I be on her side a little bit? It's connected. Right. Like pizza slices. Oh, a pizza slice has a definite slice. So does this.

Yeah, but the cheese goes over. No, but that makes it connected. You have to still peel that apart. I'm going to die. Something's wrong with me right now. What? I don't know. I think I might seriously...

You think it was the waffle brownie caramel? My feet feel wet. Wet? I don't know what that is. It's coming out of your feet. Something's happening to that. Maybe. I don't know what's happening.

You have been a reaction? A full barbecue and then... Oh. Super sugar. Do you think there's a chance that you're allergic to pork face? I think pork face and chocolate Yeah Bobby

Hey J, why don't you try this Crackling pig elbow Funny, it's usually good It was It bit me back It was crazy I'd get into it And it didn't want it

And then what happened was the skin I felt the skin slide off the fat It was just Don't make me eat an animal It was like biting into a live pig Stop making me earn it Lou you've had crackling

right bro? Not really. Oh shit. He's not that kind of black. I really suck. He's like, no, not really. I've had rice pilaf. He's had beef carpaccio, though, right?

Yes, I have. Yeah. Beef carpachio. No one's had crackling in this room? No, we're not pieces of Boston shit garbage like you. All the Puerto Rican girls you've dated, you never had crackling? No. The grossest thing I could take you to have in Philly to me that I would say,

A lot of people would be like, is Scrapple, and I think you'd love Scra. I do believe you'd love Scrapple. There you go. I like Scrapple, but Crackolin is awesome. Is it pork rinds? No, it's, it is. No, crackling. Bring up crackling. It's unfricaded pork rinds.

Here's what it is. It's when they have a pig with a fucking apple in its mouth, spinning on a thing in some savage place, and then someone takes a big crocodile Dundee knife and cuts a piece of its back off and hands it to you. directly and then talks you into it because you're as Freddy says you're going to like it because it's crunchy like a chip it's supposed to be the one I had

before you the one I had I had two pieces of crackling the one I had was crunchy and crackling and I was like oh that was a tasty one and the other one was the better looking piece so that's why I gave it to you thinking that I can't believe I did that you might as well told me you just that you tricked me

and eating human flesh that's how I feel it's just bacon it's just bacon they have personalities Do you remember Motel Hell? Yes. We use preservatives. Fuck. Yeah.

Buddy, it's... Bobby, those are deep-fried things right over there. Now, the top one, that's what we had, the top one. It's baking with just the skin on it. That's what it is. They leave the skin. And the skin's supposed to not be skinny. It's not supposed to be skinny.

It's supposed to be, like, crunchy. It looks like arm. It looks like an arm. It looks like a piece of someone's arm. Can't fight you on any of this. It does not look appetizing, especially when the skin is not crackling. It's actually skin texture. Look, I believe I've had.

You've been into it, and it didn't, it didn't, his teeth didn't cut through it. I pulled the skin off with my mouth, and it hit my chin. I look like fucking Ed Gein. I was wearing it. I was like fucking Buffalo Bob. Oh, man. God, I feel terrible about it, but it was hilarious. Bobby laughed so hard.

Didn't Lee, felt terrible. He was having a good time while I was trying to hold back a puke. And I would have done the same thing. Yeah, maybe that, maybe all that food I just shoveled into my face during Jacob's speech. What do you? So, with that crackling. You don't think that, uh, fucking pineapple caramel goes down good with fucking pig face? I don't understand why you think that.

It's like a luau in two separate, but a separate luau. What are you talking about? This is a traditional fucking, uh, Maui did. This is this fucking, it's called the Dalg the Bounty Hunter diet. Dude, my eye is hurting. I don't understand what's happening to my eye. It's hurting. Like, someone punched me in the eye.

You're becoming the pig. Becoming. I've been a pig. No, no, no. An actual pig. Like a swine. You're turning. I'm turning feral.

Yeah, this is just a dream you're having right now. I'm going to get long teeth and hair on the back of my spine. Damn. You go to therapy next week. You better tell him you trick the friend into doing something really bad. I went to therapy today. Had a good one. Yeah?

Yeah, he wants me to go talk to my mind. He wants me to go. talk to my mom about abandoning me as a kid. Nice. No. My mom's going to tell me to go fuck myself. No. Yeah, she's from Boston,

the Irish brought from Boston. You can't be worried about what she's going to say. Yes, I can't. You have to get the words out that you have to say. That's what the same exact therapist said to me about talking to my father. It's not about. It's the same thing. He's going to tell me, what are you talking about?

Make a bunch of excuses. It doesn't matter. Did you do it? You have to get the words out. Yes. You did it? I did it. What did you do?

He came to town, and I went and told him, oh, I go, hey, listen, dude. I go, it's actually pretty fucked up to this, this, and you weren't around ever. You don't know what my birthday is, I'm sure. My middle name was, you were iffy on. You'd say you were coming all the time and never come get me, like so much. Then you moved to Ohio with a lady who didn't like me, and went through the whole thing. And he went, well, get this bad rap. What about when I took your coat off layaway?

That's what he said. Did you take you caught off Layaway? He did. 11 bucks. It was. It's his claim to fame. I know. My mom's going to tell me the same shit.

Right. And I'll be honest with you. Did it make me feel any better? No. It didn't do anything. It didn't change nothing. My dad is oblivious. Christine says when I bust his balls that he is very aware.

I argue he is absolutely not at all. Right. And I think my stepmother still tends to not like me because she does feel it, I think. I mean, it's pretty. I don't know how. I got there's no way that's going over his head. It's just like one snide common after another. That bag on him, dude.

I'm like, oh my God, Jay, forgive the man. I don't know what I have. I don't know what I have. I get it. Not only do I forgive him? I get it. Yeah, but he's saying that my anger issues will go away. If you'd go and hit her.

No, not here. But if I go and I explain to her. And I love my mom. I mean, look, it is. Sometimes you love somebody you love, but you have to fucking beat the shit of them one time. I don't know. Whatever.

Was that, Jacob? You want to jerk off Black Lou? Yeah. Okay, nice. Well, yeah, you can't jerk off Black Lou on air. Jacob's getting uncomfortable because we're talking about... We're talking about feelings. Jacob doesn't like feelings.

He hates feelings. Oh, yeah, we do have a big announcement, everybody. Next Monday, October 6th, 2.30 p.m., which might be a problem. That's actually the time of my dentist appointment. I have the regs at one. But you said yes. Yeah. No, I know I said yes, but that's what my dentist appointment is, too.

I'm canceled. Two-thirty. Come on, Jacob. I guess I'll reschedule for two-thirty another day. It's a classic. It's a classic. October 6 next Monday, 2.30 p.m. is part of Series X-M podcast month.

Dude, it doesn't always have to be dirty stuff. We're recording an episode in front of a live audience. That could be you at the Sirius XM. studios in New York and we want you to come watch only a few people. It's like 15 people. Now right out there for fucking Lily Tomlin they've got 75,000

people out there but that is because he's not going to curse. We are so we have to keep it within the confines of the fishbowl. We could do 2.30 jokes Oh I can absolutely do it up to everybody. If you guys want to hear more 2.30 let us know and we will absolutely rein that down

and let a bunch more people in. This is our very first audience My next good joke is rectum nearly killed him, which I think is not appropriate for the lobby. So, up to you. This is the first what? Our very first fishbowl with audience show. Really? Ever.

Ever? We've never done an audience show in here. All right. So if you want to come watch, sign up for a chance to attend at seriousxm.com slash podcast month. That's seriousxm.com slash podcast month. I believe it's a backslash. it's a backslash Backslash podcast month

All right We'll be back Big guest We got guests coming in We got Marcus King Is going to be there On Monday On Monday not today

Oh I know We're gonna surprise guests No not anymore I don't know He's sucking me into saying it Marcus I didn't I'm fine tonight

I just thought maybe we were We didn't It wasn't It wasn't said it up there No So I just didn't do it Yeah So it's pretty cool

You guys didn't hear what Bobby said No I said He said, Farka Sting. We'll be right back. We'll be right back with special guests coming in. Farcisting. No. Coming in today.

Oh. Dan St. Germain and Sean Donnelly is coming in. We're going to be talking about their podcast aliens, and I got, I got an alien. I got an alien adventure that I've been going off for the last week. It's growing behind your eye. No, oh, don't say that. What do you mean? Something's happening with my eye.

Yeah. Well, this box, this is a fucking. Japanese place and you know they're into alien stuff. I do. I love Christine's box. Anime. Huh? I said I love Christine's box that she brings in. Someone's got to. Yeah. Someone's got to love it. Maybe she

put some of those sauces on it. I know, Christine, if you were just for a lot... Christine. Christine, for the love of God, just show your pussy of the neighborhood boys. If you do cool things, I'll think you're cool again. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Thank you.