The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Don't Over Explain It

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Listeners post their favorite words for private parts as a way to send #GoodVibez4Gary and Jacob has dietary restrictions at the movies.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. Previously on the bonfire. Big J fails at getting social media support for his dad. He wanted the listeners to post their favorite words for genitals, along with hashtag Good Vibes for Gary. But before we go to break, as you usually will do before we go back, then we'll show the Palmer John guy. Christine, could you go to the social media and see what good vibes for Gary is brought to us don't have Responses not one response We have

No, I think he did I thought it was pretty clear. Oh shit, that's so funny. Roger got in the mix, Dork and Chanch. Thank you, notorious RGA. Dork and Chanch are game changers. And a lot of people use that term loosely. But when it comes to Dork and Chanch... I like calling it Helix Sleep.

Pud, Pud is fun. Damn, you don't have to throw it. Something else, because Dork jumped on my idea. I like giving you a million. Shut up, bitch. You don't have to throw it something out of the orange of all my idea I like I don't care. Come on. Do you want to catch with it? It sucks. Jay while I'm a catch with you damn, dude I am a fucking radio failure. No, you're not we're gonna have a catch dude Sometimes I like to call not good radio sometimes I like to call it my Peter McNeely. I get interior. That hurts so much. No one but I don't know why. You fucking literally.

We out the direction. Should I tweet out the direction? No! Don't over explain it. It's stupid. Let's go and break. Hey, let's go over to the Twitter verse. What? What if you people probably staring up? What's going on? There's probably a thousand I'll read some of them before you go to break Just a tumble we go by that's fucking great. Yeah, well, we'll be right back and we'll watch this AGT thing We'll be sitting here with our Dorks and

Shlong Weirdos Packers We'll be sitting here with our dorks and shlongs, weirdos, peckers. I love Luke. I love Whiskey jumped in and it was like, slits? I like slits. I think he's gonna stop it. Just trying to help. I know a good one.

A good one's like a muff. I like a muff. You're like a guy who likes my mom putting his arm around me. My dad didn't show up. Hey champ, I'll throw the ball with you. I don't want to throw the ball with you. If you play the sax, you be moving on it now. Oh man, that's what it is.

This is my payback. Long, Doc Don. No more Yankee, my wanky. Yankee, the Dunker need food. Thanks Jacob. It's all right. I was trying to. No, you did.

People like the bit. They just, they don't they just I don't know See what's your favorite Christine New she's gonna fold under Like you're a pussy slide yeah Slide yeah Think of one that's never ever been used ever watching Jay's face go from neutral to completely disgusted when Christine tried This is why no one wants to play with you You know breaking bad wasn't a hit until season three

Nobody even you're right third time I picked this up. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, well try get another day. Good vibes for Gary, up your ass. We'll be right back everybody. This is the Modfire. What are our words for? I'll say what they're for. Describing things and slide isn't a good word for a child. Man, what a mess. In a game that's hard to miss, it's so hard to miss. I would have missed in a game. It's hard to miss

It's so hard to miss Jacob and Christine still not in studio. I think they're making out maybe You think he's got his fingers in our slides. I love it. I love your slide. Yeah Shoot in lacquer scene where you show and Jacob your slide dude Busted out what happened where you we shown slide off bust out those pocket chocolates Yeah, dude Christine the fucking way to thank you for bringing all this snacks have Evans Yeah, dude fucking snacks Evans Christine loves snacks

Christine you just tell the world that which one is just you know you look better if you say you've never heard the word slide before For a vergaida and you just try to think of something on the fly Your microphones. I don't know why I said I don't know why I word it like that. I think I panicked at the question Yeah, I was like why are you making me do what you do? I think that's why no way is responding like you know you're supposed to give us to us You're right your job's not to think of funny words for Dick and Pussy. Your job though is follow the social media should is going on and Dan says there is a there's responses a whole bunch of responses.

There's responses to it. You're just looking at the replies to the actual tweet versus people tweeting with the hashtag. Yeah, because I got people saying like a D. Spence calls it a peach. Looks calling it a peach. I don't mind that. Travis says, dick, trickle, and slick fisherman. Now we're starting to think.

Do people do want to be your friend? That you wanted to hurt me. Damn. You always think I'm out to get you. Liz F says my book, her challenge. But I get it. We're all defensive. I'm only starting to realize this.

As the most defensive, I've realized now. What's your plot against me? Defensive dude. Why are you plotting against me? I'm a good person. I'm a good person. Great idea. Liz F says my favorite is her chonch. She calls it a chonch. See, she's chonch, does rule. Chonch does rule. 24, carrot, pussy. Thank you, friend. Whoa, where is Jacob?

Is he tying off and pushing off? Is he tying up and pushing off in the bathroom? Kidney water. Damn, now I feel bad. Yeah, because I was making fun of his opiate. Treated that guy like a real slide. Yeah. You know what, it kind of works, Christine. I think we're coming back around. I was making fun of his opiate treaty that got like a real slide

You know what it kind of works Christine. I think we're coming back around Christine. You're about to get an apology You're about to get your own hashtag Rumpal four skins very funny. It's just Jay Jessica Lynch Rumpal four skin rules Penis fly trap. I don't mind the fuck truck. I've never heard either Zach. Fuck truck rules turtle head I know love plungers not pretty good pork sword. I enjoy it Factories gross eggplant entrance now. I appreciate pork purses fun cuz it's the you know I don't know if you said that pork purses good pork purses great good job Zach I don't mind that the in-ground trampolines What is that what What is that even?

That's actually perfect. Show reference that is also can mean vagina. My spoke and her cup is great. I said before, like, my bonk on your dick, your bonker makes me laugh. It's great. You'd pull out your bonker. Pull out your bonk.

It's always a sense has to go well with. Did you pull out your... Yeah. Did she see you? Did you hit her in her tunicane? Did you hit her in her tunicane last night? That's... Yeah. That rolls. Clams is pretty close.

Clams, one of the best of all time. Jacob! Thanks for the H2O, brother man. I'm just starting to be positive. By the way, a bunch of people responded. Damn, Jacob. I'm looking at you wearing an outdoor jacket inside like a straight-up slide, dude. Damn! He's called you a slide twice now. I just want you letting him know, Jacob. You were in a fucking outdoor jacket inside like a straight up slide dude damn He's called you a slide twice now. I just want you like no jacket. You were the first one He's calling you a pussy as you get treated like a slide

Running to get the in water like a slide Only a slide to do that. Oh, yeah slide. We'll go get another man of water. Yeah, stop acting. I don't play that slide as shit Slide a slide ass motherfucker Puss it fucking slide These are great cupids covered all cupids coverage very though like I like the restaurant as my setup is great. I love that Show your setup. That's so good. Good job, Deach. So I just bought it, bone box.

Sure, that's all good, dude. Set the setup, really. Jay, you were so worried. Stick a look at your setup. You were so worried. I wasn't worried. You were sad. I was let down because Christine gave me

band information to hurt me. What are you doing? Why are you manipulating him? She goes, wow, Jay. Not one response at all. She goes, you had an idea and no one wanted to do it with you. No one wants to be your friend. Why is that? She made up a goofy ass word and in her response she goes this is why nobody wants to play games with you because you call them on

their bad answers. Oh my god this whole time we thought Jay was being mean to Christine but you look at it it's all been minute abused. I'm abused. Yeah. abused Amber heard trowel really with eye opening all the things around Christine's the bad person here for sure Jay's like I just want to have one-on-one sex and I don't ever You tell his got sliding me trying to make me think that I'm the bad one. Yeah, come on I think you guys need to fight in a pit. I don't think you just think you're the bad one I just want everybody else to know you are I know you don't think you're the bad one. I just want everybody else to know you are. I know you don't think you're the bad one.

Well, you're supposed to suck you, Jack, for an hour. Ever. Um, good vibes for gay. Yeah, let's just suck you, Jack, for an hour. And the way she says it. So aggregate. What do you want me to suck you, Jack, for an hour? Well, you're supposed to suck you, Jack, for an hour.

Why am I turned on and I'm not? What I love is the one the drops where there's real emotion Like where Jacob goes. Yeah, drink it up bad boy Drink it up rock and roll comic. Oh, did you see actually the jada pink it? Just like by the way, she really men she really does it world needs now more than ever Is that what she says? I know she goes I thought it was more along the lines of like these two goofy motherfuckers need to talk and shut up. No, it was more like these men are important. She's always going to stress the importance.

Yeah. These men are important and black and they need to get together and kiss in front of me. Go on. Go on. Do me from either end. To the bodies. I mean, cool, but what? Yeah, they're all crazy. The whole lot of them. Yeah, man.

Thank you, everyone, play the game. We'll check back later when there's more. If Chris, you can find them. Maybe. You don't have to play really not that interesting earth thing. She really still has like a thing was like, I don't know. Yeah, they have to happen. They have to work it out Whatever's like not my fault. It's like he left at the thing. He also hit for yeah, you watch him turn in real time You looked at him and went you know the debt you know the DeGuffy toothy motherfucker You're gonna let that zebra play in motherfucker Dinner buckets slapping my button buttonhole worker on her dinner butts.

It's a lot. Dude, A.V. is right. And Jay's brought it up before calling your mouth through dick sucker is cocksucker, cocksucker, right in the cocksucker. Come trap. Come trap. All right. No, I'm gonna keep jumping back in the game.

Speckle boy. She's back on the board. She's back on the board. Go, we can go back everybody. We are back. It's the bonfire, do we say that? No. No. You know, we don't have to.

It's half hour we barely. We also don't have to. It's so funny, we get told that a lot. For Harry S. for John, his monkey mouth. Christine, we gotta come back to these. Let them build. Let them build. Let them build up. I know you think no one's playing but a lot of people are a lot of people What a player is out and I think their answers are funny and good Toots out people are super into this I see that now. I wouldn't so why don't you check mix right into the microphone

Yeah, you have to hit your cop yeah, off button like I'm doing yeah, you oh you checks mix with your your picking finger great great Damn god, I can't be have shared food with this woman And then he leaves and he's like you know you're the most beautiful girl. I love you Christine. Yeah, do you do that? What? I'm kidding. No. Yeah, I whisper to her when she's sleeping. Hey, you soon you know It was funny so more I'm hoping more time to not when we're laying in bed. And I Christine falls asleep first usually. And I do. And I just like, I'm like, I'm like, ah, Christine. She's my dumb Christine. You know, I love Christy. I was talking about my mom, I just did about how much I love

Christine. And I look over at bed. And she just, she sleeps. Oh, my Christ on the cross. But Jay, here's the thing. like Jay can be fully himself around me because he's kind of like an animal pig. So, you know, just like be your animal pig self in peace. Yeah. And I clean. What? I clean.

No, it's such a funny cell at the end. And I clean. So, it's such a funny sell at the end. And I clean. So how you walk away from that? He's a bad, he's not a good writer. You're giving yourself a very good write up. Well, let's go to AGT where we can judge other people. Yeah, it's time to judge other people, Christine. This isn't Christine's Got Talent.

If it was Christine's Got Talent though, and you were on it, I wouldn't do cleaning as your talent. You know, singer whatever. Where you checks mix with a very hot mic. I'm a dancer. I know you are a dancer. Christine, you should try out for America's got talent for dancing next year. I am a genius.

I would never. Why? For the show? No. Yeah, we're a fucking body cam. Are the only people dedicated to this thing? DJ Lou and black Lou that'll get involved But I was leaving here. No, I know, but he'll be part of Oddthrupple. Oh Jacob's door hold out. Jacob's holding on Oddthrupple. Big Jim's already talking about Jacob wants wide receiver money

Yeah, and then something wrong with that. No. I mean, should I do it for free? This hell for free? It's not gonna be hell. You don't know what you're, what are the figures we're talking here, Jay? Honestly, we have to get a product first. I gotta see what, I gotta see what the markets do in these days, but I could probably take a lot of

hard on the fire right now. I could probably get back to you on Wednesday with just a ballpark. Dude, everyone's eating chips. You can't hear mine. Absolutely, we heard yours. Can you hear this? You're holding the button now.

I was holding the button the whole time. I was tucking mine where you couldn't hear it, but it's in Jason's mouth. I know, like a squirrel. We heard it. It's so fucking crazy. I hate it so it. I hate it because listeners. It's a thousand times worse if you're listening to the radio. Well, Dan and Christine need to put food in their cock suckers.

Got to use it. We're back to use it. We're back on. We are back in the game hardcore. AGT everybody. We're going through AGT. This is the one you got to see. The golden ticket guides. it is sweet, adorable. He's great saxophone player, Terry Cruz-Cries, Blybety-Block.

This guy came out to do a joke routine. And he, I've never seen the crowd turn more like the crowd goes hardcore like, what do you mean this guy's the best? And they make the judges change their answers to put them through? Is he a comedian? How do you mean they'll never change? Is he hate some? And is he a comedian?

This kid maybe? Look up Ben Lapitas, comedian, maybe it's gotta be. Cause it's a joke song. It's a joke song. It's absolutely a joke song. But like the, I mean, how do I mean, though, gets that obviously, but it's again, it's also, he's right, it's not funny enough of a song. It's absolutely a joke song, but like it, the, I mean, Calming Me Dog gets that obviously, but it's again, it's it's also he's right, it's not funny enough of a song. Yeah, it's all

sell. The content of the song is garbage. So you have first made a catchy song of a stupid lyric. Yeah, it's basically you and your friend in a car, fucking around and catching on. It's me. So it's all like so he does all funny. Yeah, it is like funny music stuff. Yeah, the song's asking for more Parmesan, but he's embarrassed to ask. But like they hate him right away. They're judgements. Yeah, I want to I want you to play. I want to watch like how he does. So you are playing the guitar.

Okay, I'll tell you, playing the guitar? Okay, and the time you play the guitar. How are you? Are you? Looks pissed. Yeah. He says Parmesan and I say please He gives me a spoonful and says would you like more and I say sure as if it's no big deal As if it's not my reason for Choosing an Italian restaurant in the first place Very loves it Jacob loves it Yeah, that's good thanks. I Always want more Parmesan, but I'm embarrassed

I always want more Parmesan, but I'm embarrassed Why are they so stingy? Is there a shortage of Parmesan? But I'm in Paris You're watching Heidi Klum process it. She's like yes, she is like a terminator She's no she's no she wants to fuck it I see you as a neural processor. It's a linear computer. Pass it or fail. She doesn't know if it's funny. She has no idea. I must destroy him. I think it's a York that is it is funny.

It's just on high level funny, I'd say. But you know what I mean, but it's funny. But I don't know if he just didn't describe it good enough to them. You would sit through this for 30 seconds. I wouldn't last 10 seconds if I knew a guy was doing funny songs I don't like that. I never I never like any songs Like weird out you hate weird out weird out. I can I can get the weird out. I'm telling you Steven Lynch had a couple of songs

I thought I didn't like love it across the board. I don't know garf Uncle notes. I don't like it No, this guy this guy does come off a little bit of a jerk off But maybe he's not and I also think he's got He doesn't not have something first. I can play the guitar for sure his voice isn't like bad necessarily but like I Don't know it's like it could be funny, but I guess all you want you can do in America's got talent But watch what happens what he this sell is him on this the songs for whatever?

It's fine, but what he does with it is Awesome almost to he won you over Sort of sort of he ain't going anywhere in this content. I mean, it'll be over quick Welcome roll comment You're so cool. She's saying it's like it's fire. He just sold it. He had three X's and goes hard against it. Wait, it's who's out. So that means you're supposed to walk off the stage. I'm confused! He's their life-funt, Dean of Jesus!

I want more promised land. Why are there so sticky on the ground? Shut the fuck up, lady! Also, that is a weird take. Simon Cal goes, I don't know if Parmesan is disgusting. That's the most insane thing to say to all of us. You've never sprinkled it in your mouth. Parmesan.

Parmesan. Who would've thought Parmesan? Parmesan. Jacob, you're a person who might not like Parmesan. Why do you say that? I don't know. You really heard Jacob. You love Parmesan. I don't know what you're really hurt. You love Parmesan. They're really hurt.

I don't know what you think. I love how I eat. I enjoy food. I just don't know what. Yelling, I'm saying you, I love Parmesan. Parmesan, I use it like. I could, yeah. I could put on everything.

Could you say you want more Parmesan? No, I'm embarrassed. But I'm embarrassed. But I'm embarrassed. So watch this turn, dude. Watch this turn, he pulls. I don't like your song. So I'm saying, no.

How do you think? I got to say, I didn't love it. Sophia, it's a no. I don't I didn't love it Kill him It's very crucious out there and do it Swacking I don't have the show works if they all X to him what is supposed to happen now we can still It's supposed to walk off stage It's just supposed to walk off stage. But I'm gonna goose bumps right now and I'll tell you why. What a night this kid is having though. That feels amazing.

You get the crowd brought you back. And when he starts singing again and go, BAM! I will die before I let big Parmari Everybody I always want more Parm Ishaa, but I'm at Barrett Heidi's the first to break You would do if you were there dude

But I'm at Barrett No Simon Kout does the most human thing I've ever seen through yesterday like I don't know dude it's in my head it's in my head now he's like sure Oh Take Chris by the run through a lot. That's fucking jacked up. Oh, yeah Pulse it back dude, you see it? I never done that before I Think they've pulled an X away before but never four X's from four people saying you're not moving on to going like actually you're moving on with four yes, no three yeses. How it unchange, how is a real one?

Yeah, but again, I also wonder was, how's it like? I'm a germafob and you're gross. I'm a grown up, I face. But I was wonder was stuff like this, like I don't know how much is set up or real moment anymore because I was so bummed out. I was listening to a Stern thology today. Howard Sterns and they were talking about a rush limbal before he was rush limbal and like his bits when he was just like a regular DJ.

And and Stern called that two or three times and the thing he goes, yeah, he goes, I always love that the old like we're calling the power company to complain about whatever. It's like not like it's not a pre-recorded bit. They did they didn't call the power company at all and I'm like, oh, yeah, I always forget there was an element of that. I wonder if anybody thinks that with this radio show. Like I remember like Rachel Feinstein and I think the Rose even be like,

I gotta wake up tomorrow. I gotta call some radio station in in. Nate used to do this. Yeah, I gotta call some radio station in Iowa and say that uh my girl I just call my girlfriend cheating on me or something like what yeah Nate's like I got to get uh I got to get Frank fake prank phone called by this radio station yeah yeah I got to work at this office so he's got it was also when I was on the road to him and you go to 50 bucks or you get like 50 he's like I got two lined up so I got to do one at nine and one one at nine

45 and we're just being the hotel room and he'd be like, hey, what's up? No, it's me. He's just a Southern guy. I don't think my refrigerator's running. Yeah, I don't sound like it's running. He goes, I'm gonna hotel though with day and soda and they go cold. Please sir. Can you please? What the fuck are you doing out there? You're talking to the thing. We played, man. We were all sitting at a pool and in Key West, Nate came on, we're listening to an Alexa speaker, Nate came on doing a Geico commercial. We're like, I think that's Nate. Yeah.

He's like, you get discombobulated, then you get combobulated again, then you can go back being discombobulated. It was just weird, it, like Amazon music or whatever. Yeah, I called him and I go, what on the way here, I called him and I was like, what illuminati thing are you doing? And he goes, I'm actually, I'm with my parents,

they're getting a new car and he goes, but we're doing it a hundred feet under the ground. He's like a CK. That's pretty awesome. Sick. So what a bummer to find out that so much of that stuff is like, yeah, that. It's pretty awesome. Sick. So what a bummer to find out that so much of that stuff is like, yeah, that always, that, I mean, you know, I think how we're starting to admit it,

that maybe I'm wrong about this, but didn't you say when those big things, he, when he was younger, like he called the consulate at something and as fart man, or he called the airline and asked if he could land the plane. That was great. How much to land the plane on, though, whatever.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about that, but I think he may have said he goes, yeah, you can't fucking. I think his response to something was like, you can't do that. Of course, it was a bit. Is your point of bringing that up that? A G T is totally 100% fucking fake. Well, no, I don't think it's 100% fake. I think A G T, like anything else. You think Lump head smooth that that walks away and he's like the behind the scenes that I know of these things is that these kind of shows is that if you are a possible person who can do this, you have an audition time

that you go for. Oh, it was like those comedy competitions the carolines used to do. Right, but the waiting in line. We're ever going to wait in line and then they do like the long camera. They're like, right, I mean, people, or last kind of, let's come and stand, that's what it was. But last coming standing thing was like that, We're ever under weight line and then they do like the long camera doing right? I mean people are last color.

That's how I'm standing. That's what it was. But last coming standing thing was like that like the like everyone's waiting outside. But those people waiting outside was like a dream. Most of the time I think some people do it but like that get through to do that. But for the most part it's like sort of bullshit. Yeah, I think the editing is horse shit. So that's what they go back.

They go back day to day, just depending on the act, like their clothes are all different every act, they have the time they go back and forth cause they edit together an emotional story. Yeah, did in a Gina Breone say that, like the producers meet with them and they're like, what, yeah, what can you give us?

I'm sure, but more than what can you give us just like, almost that is this gonna be the thing that's like this guy's stupid song is gonna like win the, do you know what I mean? Like they concoct this storyline versus like this real moment where this guy just won the fucking audience over. Yeah. Or we just not seeing the cuts where they go.

Guys, I know that was like whatever, but like come on everybody in the audience. Like Simon waits there while they, you know, not cut, but they just go everybody Your arm chanting Parmesan, but if it's all like or this guy had a real moment I don't know why it bugs me to think it's a little bit cocked it Yeah, the first time I went to a late night taping and I saw them go like all right up Loss and you're like, oh man. I thought it was because everyone's juice to be there

Everyone's really excited to see Conan. Oh, okay, I guess. Yeah, to find out things are fake. Do you remember finding out that wrestling was fake? Yeah, absolutely. Did it crush you? No, when I thought about it, it was like one of those first instances in my life

and I was very young where I remember being like, yeah, that makes sense. Was it like with San and you go, oh, it makes sense, but I still got presents right Yeah, you were like oh, it's not really goes. Can I still watch guys roll around with each other? Yeah, it's like is a gays It's still gay right It's my slide what My back my back slides ready to go

Yeah You're slide Yeah, I remember being your slide. You're gonna look at that slide. I remember being like, I remember that was wild. I remember just being like, yeah, I don't care, I like it. Then they're like, all right, cause it was like a kid trying to be mean.

He's like, wrestling is fake. And I was like, I wish my dad could, my dad loves wrestling as much as you do, but he's can't, he always says to us, well, you know, it's all fake. And he wants everyone to know that he knows that it's fake. You don't necessarily, you know, it's all fake, you know, there's different levels of being a wrestling fan or just like accepting it.

And you go through like different phases We're like everyone's like you know, it's fake. I know it's fake and then everyone's like you know, it's gay You know, I know it's gay and then they're like you know only idiots like it. You're like well, that's not true I know a lot of smart people that enjoy the fighting's fake and the gay is real The gay is that chest-to-back stuff is super real so real but I've told him a thousand times I just enjoy it just enjoy it I watch the adventures. They're not real that guy in it was when I just found that out when you With Thanos that the fingers and you didn't vaporize you that's what you're looking at arms is it happening? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, follow the line. Guys, follow the line. They can't do this.

For something I know is not real, it is real to me. It's real to me, damn it. It's real. But that's, I mean, the funniest thing is like, there's a thing going on in AEW where MJF, who's like one of the best guys in wrestling right now, is just a prick, you know, he's a heel. He didn't show up at a fan expo for their big pay-per-view and then everyone's like,

he's gonna walk and then he went out and did his match and then he cut a promo last night where he's like, fuck this company, fire me. I'll go to the WWE and make when we're money and it was like a great promo and everyone's like, what does it do? He did it on a EW? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like made for- Maybe it's on a Mention's WWE? Yeah, he's like, oh, you're hoarding all your money so you can pay all the WWE stars.

He's like, well, what if I was an ex money, so you can pay all the XWWE stars. He's like, well, what if I was an XWWE star? Dude, it's one of the best wrestling promos in recent memory. He was fucking awesome, came out and talked great shit, and then on the internet today everyone's like, what does it mean? It's like, it doesn't matter. He's just cutting a pro, you know what I mean?

Like, let him tell the story, and if it's real, then you'll find out it's real. Like, just enjoy it. It's fucking cool. But. Well, I like to picture your laying on your belly. I can't do it. My head's too big. Like,

Well, I don't know if I can do it. I'm kind of fucking hard for you. I like to say underneath the same bright stars while you're doing that and looking up like the wrestling things. I'm like, you know, like Reddit has a whole page dedicated to people blowing pizza guys when they show up. That's pretty sick though.

It's fantastic. I thought you were gonna say something gross on right it, but that one's cool. As a former pizza man. It rules. But there's this whole thing. Man, I thought it was gonna happen one time when I was delivering pizza. This lady opened her door in a towel and I was like, here we go. And then she just took the pizza and handed it to my hand.

She took the door and I was like, pick your job. And then she just took the pizza and handed the money to the like, she's like, I'm staring. Pick your job off the floor, you creep. I was like, okay, I'm 17, but I'm down. He goes, oh, sorry, I dropped my pen. Can you grab that for me? She goes, oh yeah, I'm gonna bend over and you can see my whole slide.

No, I'm okay. My husband's in the military. I'll fuck you, he'll fuck you kill you. Next thing you know, you're taking a peek at my slide. No, I'm okay, my friend. I want a slice not a slide I don't like it. Just like yeah, it's like We're working it in and you're just gonna sell it so and also Lou with the drop really help. Oh my god Looks like I got a little view of the old it took it took us took us seven years to finally hit a

slide whistle drop finally got one so this guy yeah that's the winner from last place guitar also you play guitar also Shut up. Yep. This is last year's a GT winner Dustin. My's will capitalize Should we take a break and come back? Yes, we have to take a break, right? We got to take another break this hour We don't have to yes, we do Damn, do you know what Jacob drives? What's the difference between Jacob's yes and lose kind of like Sort of you're saying we can go until we just because Is terrified to say anything to say no to you and it's not like a big deal We just do have to break you need a little more Christine you do remember earlier with Christine

Chattano's story my spirit by saying nobody wanted to play my Twitter game with me Damn did she root off to you? No, no, let you play her in the reindeer games. She came home, she goes, you're ugly, and nobody else wants you. Yeah. She's got the dorens, because what was that saying? It worked. Your ideas are stupid.

Pud sucker. Pud sucker proxy. I was just like, Pud sucker. Meat missile. Not bad. Ninja slipper is funny. Velvet silo. Ninja slipper is cool.

Good job, Marshall. Ninja slipper is hilarious. Fantastic. Schmeckle, of course. Ninja slippers funny velvet silo ninja slippers great commercial ninja slippers. Oh fantastic Schmeckle, of course, yeah, tell you why pretty pretty kitty cock bagel Hell yeah, Jim cock bagel all day long rodger on rodger roger rules Twig and various is funny from Awesome power. It's a Christine Mariaven's always ready for a slide show Quim is great. I loved Quim. That's that's what goes on with me. What's Quim? It's back in the day. She's a new pussy or dick. I'd read it in like stories of fucking you know

I mean like when you like a penthouse if you were reading the story that came with the pictures sure It was like when she showed her quimp. Yeah, it's pussy. It's great. Someone quiet down over there who loves snacks Seen yeah, by the way Good I like to some go down one I like what I want person said the Oregon trail, but their name is lasagna taco, which is a perfect That's the best name for pussy I've ever heard calling it a lasagna taco hot pocket dick it is I like just when people throw it up the good vibes for Gary dude some people just want to toss out some good vibes yeah dude good vibes for

Gary never go full felts man baby threr and horn horn is great. Horn's always funny. Uh, so good. Morning ground trampoline. We're back to where we were. All right. Come catch your, custard cannon. It's not bad.

I like it. I like it. I like it. Um, we should take our break. We'll come back so Jacob and Luke can fight. We're going to, then we're going to hear this magician's music. I can't wait. I can't wait either. What a fun live Thursday everybody What's a fair? Huh? We're not fighting sure no no no no outwardly you're not but

Now you guys wouldn't actually fist fight you guys are too much of slides What's the slide counter today? J's sticking in your slide Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, done bisexual stuff before. I hope. I hope so. I think that's how he knows what the Danger Zone is. He knows that's when you have a male lover that takes it too far. The Danger Zone. Good vibes for Gary.

Good vibes for Gary. Call it your Danger Zone. Call it Danger Zone. You put your set up in a Danger Zone. I'm a launch baton cat. Damn dude. Yeah, my scud's getting ready to come in to your silo. Mm.

What were the bonfires to your sex infection? Talk one or three on dance over this, but Jefferson, the whole creature, I mean, black blue out for the day, but they'll get back on the bed. Get, get, get, get. I'm getting pumped. I can't wait to watch this movie tonight.

Yeah, I'm bummed I can't go with you guys because I got to wake up so early. I need a hot dog. Oh, love hot dogs. I love movie. I never have hot dogs, but I really like it. Do you want relish on it? Yes.

Yes. The works, dude. Catch up, mom. This guy. Who let him in? Hey, is this, yeah. Do you work here? What's the step brothers?

Yeah. So yeah, he was, well, it's a trophy fish. So yeah, it's pretty big That little after one I love didn't know that the South Park the streaming wars came out yesterday So I get to watch it tonight with dinner my Danny dipping sauce. Oh How long is I got to watch the last episode that's available right now stranger things so much to watch the boys

That's our boys I get frustrated the boys does Streaming services tell me the benefits still of the of the long stretch I don't know they but didn't the boys do they drop one two or three just one I don't know last year And they did the first three. Yeah, they dropped three and then it was weekly. And then you got to wait me. I'm still I love when they did all of Ozark. Yeah. But I heard that it didn't get as much. I don't know fanfare because of that. But they did do all of those. I mean, they did eight and seven or all. Yeah, but that's a break up of a season right It's the first three Both boys show was great. Oh yeah, oh, it was arc

And it's already but I know I got all those other stuff. I got to watch it be one. I got to watch the boys I got South Park streaming wars. I'm over you could be rebearing me Yeah, how am I supposed to watch? Oh, so who has all this time spent time your girl put it in her slide I gotta tell you slide for sure Christine was a genius. It worked Christine It did it went the way of the I always want more Parmesan. It's in there now Yeah, and it ain't going away Slide is now an ether also. I've even the dog trademark Christina. I've also started saying let me slick your slide I've even the dog trademark Christina. I've also started saying let me slick your slide

Copyright copyright so it's a battle copyright verbal copyright scene and I are gonna be in a long and Expensive court battle Hey, you want to put your slide on my whistle? I just trademarked that now god damn dude. This is gonna be a this is a standoff No, you guys get a little bit of what mine Christine's got her money and a little bit of each of ours because he did originated Yeah, every time we use it Jacob you're so stoked for this movie. I'm so stoked to see how stoked you are Me, doctor, maverick has the ball. I hope you're so invested so I can sneak eat a hot dog while you're not looking at me I think you just so invested so I can sneak eat a hot dog while you're not looking at me. I think you just fucking You just go it. You know you should do is just hallway eat it where you're standing up with your hand under the hot dog

I'm I'm gonna 30 thinking of Jacobs. I'm gonna be doing his inner monologue What I think it is in my head in Jacob's voice so every time I buddy goes is he chasing a hot dog with pretzel bites Oh, that sounds so good and then in my head head, in my head, Jacob, I'll be like, Jacob, I only go to the movies, like ever, okay? So yeah, I'm having like pretzel bites and whatever. It's a treat. Thanks. And then Jacob's gonna go and go,

it goes, all right, my treat's great, nuts. I know, but I can't. You only live once. You ever had a handful of flaxseed? Yeah, man. I'm like, she had chitachoclet. Well, people eat chia seeds. Is that the same thing that grows green hair on my Obamacia pet?

That's the same stuff. If I bought chia seed, like they sell it for eat in a store, and instead of eating, I decided to spread it on a bald head and Water it every day. Would it grow would it grow? Chichichia Same seeds same seeds. You want me to eat that? Okay, you want me to grow a Bob Ross afro on a Bob Ross clay Clay cut out or you want me to eat it? Okay, well do the second question is the chia pet plant edible? Do that second one here? Those sprouts are just chia seeds that have been soaked

uh so that's a fight that's why I didn't pick that's a fight hate to have been released uh they pack a powerful nutritional punch it's so tiny and tender you get them to any food or you know I just want to eat the fucking someone's chia pet and if I come over you're snacking on Ruth from Golden Girls. Oh, that'd be so great Or one of you took a fucking what if you ate the seeds and then took a turd and your turds had like green Afro and it grew it out Yeah, it has to live on a barge of my shit in my toilet Last time I went to the movies with you was the Avengers end game

Mm-hmm, and I had pretzel bites for the first time in my life Wow, dude, you're like one of those people that you do it again. Whoa. Yeah, dude. It's big night, dude Cruises car limit be damned. I'm gonna I'm gonna party with Jane Christine tonight You're like one of those kids that gets taken out of a cult. You're like 11. You knew fat I am. Wait, everybody. What's with us? Where are their fat friends? Yeah, we are. When Jacob said, I know Jacob, I know.

She's putting it on you. Yeah. Sorry, she's having trouble. But she had her teeth and things were fat. She did. It's a time of her month where her slides down. Jesus slides down. She's holding water.

Oh. Oh. or a slide down. Jesus slides down, she's holding water. First. Uh. Here's how fat I am. Is that when you say that, I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Like Jacob's gonna have, I go, I'll have to force three pretzel bites on Jacob to have meat three, but I'd like him to have at least that. I really have as many as he wants.

But I'm assuming tops three. Yeah. And then like, Christine's gonna come in for a grip of them and I go, now I gotta get two words, pretzel bites. Now you're digging into my pretzel bites. I was gonna get a whole thing for myself. Yes. No, you're not, Jacob.

I don't know how many are there. I'm getting you a whole thing for yourself. There's enough to make you happy. But you guys might have to make you unhappy. Man, I want a hot dog now so bad. I just want bread. Yeah, I'm gonna crush a hot dog. When you have bread, when you haven't had it in a while,

are you like, do you really relish it? Are you like, yeah, no, I love it. That's my Achilles heel's bread. It's bread. I don't know why. Do you like the bread in Outback steakhouse? It's fine. Make sure you're inside of a warm wet slide.

Yeah, I love bread. Like, a double side bread. Yeah, it's a cheesecake side bread. Cheesecake factory bread. Cheesecake factory bread. I have fucking brown cheesecake factory bread. Yeah, it's the best. The sticks. What about the bread sticks at Olive Garden?

Good. You know, you're talking about the best bread sticks in the game? There's a bakery on 16th, right by the stand that is the best bakery in New York. That's bakery though. I'm talking about bread. Wait, it's 16th right by the the stand that is the best bakery in New York that's bakery though I'm talking about 16th and what it's just on the opposite side of The park I'm talking bread from a red I'm talking a restaurant best table bread is fucking cheddar biscuits red lots Oh easy. I don't know about that. It's basically an east side Mario's that gave garlic buttered heavy like on top of them

Marios that gave garlic buttered heavy like on top of them soft bread Dunkin in like marinara sauce. I do love out a chain wise outback. What I don't like butter. No, no What what who doesn't like butter coming in? How do you know like you don't like it at all? You don't like buttery bread? I never liked it. We'll see you Have dry bread. I like olive oil. I'll dip it in olive oil. All right I'm weird my family does I just olive oil. I'll dip it in olive oil. All right. All right. I'm weird. My family does I just don't I never got into it. I like butter on everything, dude Like you better. I like better with you if you can eat butter. I butter my tuna sandwich. I'll eat a whole stick of butter right now You want to see me butter? You want to see me?

You want to see me? You want to take a butter out of the face right now? You want me to go butter out, dude? It's actually Chlorically much better for you than olive oil. What are eating butter? Yes. I me to go butter out, dude? It's actually, calorically, much better for you than olive oil. What, eating butter? Yes. I know. I'm moving that butter life, dude. That's why Dan does it.

He chews on it like, chaw. What are you working on? You working on a butter bubble? Wrap. Get my jaw strong by chewing butter. My abs in there. That's in there, all right. That's why he's bred the enemy, though.

Like, why is that so unhealthy? Just make sure you try. Because it's just a lot, it's carbs that it's simple carbs. Is it worse than butter? Well, I mean, I don't know that they're either one of them are great, but I've thought about better. Well, what about them together? Do it or something we better.

Bread is better. Do you know the bread at like subway? Because I always get if I go to subway because I'm like I just know it somewhere around that where I don't know the food and I'm just like I'm just gonna get a wrap from subway The wrap is higher calories and if you got the short sub How does that work? I don't know do they um higher calories? The spinach fed a wrap at Starbucks is higher calories and the turkey bacon breakfast sandwich. Yeah, right crazy What the fuck is going on? I've never understood food.

I've never understood food. Everything you guys were saying I'd understand, and that's why I just go, I just, I just stop eating where I wanna lose weight. It's pretty healthy. Totally, dude. Money's starting to eat in chia, and see what happens to your turds.

I'll document it. Document your turds. Document the hell out of those. Dan Soder is going, I know we're not done yet. I just wanna say that the thing is going to be, this be this one home this weekend, but you're going to be in Grand Rapids tomorrow and Saturday. Get tickets over at dansoder.com. Of course, he's coming to London also to Soho Theatre June 13th or June 19th for tickets

and all of his tour dates. Go to dansoder.com, fill it up London. This is big. Yeah. And London, if you're stealing the show right now, you owe it to me to come to the shows. You're taking money out of his son's pocket. Yeah. My son that I never speak of June 13th through June 19th. I'll be at Soho Theater. Little Danny the fourth. Yeah. Don't even know. Daniel Edwards, his or her hands the fourth. Big J is going to be on tour with the Burke Craig Jason, Michael Anthony Jots. It's a name to have to the bass player from

Van Halen. Fucking learn it. Big J Michael Anthony, Ocarus. a trap named after the bass player from Van Halen. Fucking learn it. Big J, Michael Anthony Overson. But big J's gonna be on tour with all our friends on the big, uh, Bert Cresher fully loaded festival. Tulsa Albany, a bunch of dates. Go to bigjcomedy.com for all tour dates. J on the festival. J on the festival. Hang in with the boos. On firemarch.com, that's still there. Our Bonfire podcast.com. That's still there.

Our Bonfire podcast goes out every day. You know? Dude, so I found an article that I DMed Bonfire Twitter Christine if you want to bring it up. Wait, we didn't listen to the guy's music. Oh, Fog. I'm a jish. Dude, I told everyone do that. I found an article that said Swedish people don't share food when you come over to their house.

Well, that tracks. Yeah, and it made me feel better about this. That's not my Swedish. It's not my fault I have to. Swedish has Moffie. You get your own street meat. Yeah, you're fucking you. Bring it yourself. I'm Swedish. It's true that we don't serve food to the guests. What's the problem? Yeah, right? Oh, Linda Johansson, I'll tell you the problem. You must be showing your slide, everybody, or else they're not going to be hanging out at your fucking party's much longer. No, it's dickhole. It is weird. We'll read the article in other videos. Yeah, you want to come over and watch

wrestling, check out my slide, don't eat any food. I mean, I feel like you're talking about me, and it hurts. That's my impression of you. Oh, y'all. Let's go to this. We can go live on a Thursday because I'm him. I am him, and you're Friday, morning. Friday, morning Thursday because I'm him. I am him and you're Friday morning. So Friday morning I have to hurry. I have to hurry. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear.

I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear.

I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. I have to drop off the gear. Sometimes DJ leaders can see me if there was a camera right here. It's me looking at you to go like right And this is like his eyes are like intensely doing so let me go. Ha got them, huh? Oh, all right Staring contest me right now, dude. I do catch your eyes. It's more special. I know look at me. I'll share baby I'm gonna turn away. Why did you really is? He can't say it to the son. I can't do it. Yeah, why are you doing that? I don't know why you turn away. J we got four minutes. We got launched to some blue look at J

Look at it. J Just look at me. J's making it too sexy the host of the show is asking you to look at him. I know show you guys We're doing a show show your ass Face mean I can't look at them all looking at Jay's got you. He's got you as fucking Me and they can do it look no problem. I haven't even broke it you guys have been gay lovers for fucking 10 years now Yeah, I know watch me and Jacob rock Jacob get in there, dude Hey, can I let me get a little piece of Jacob Jacob lock it with lock with me Look at me some I love making on contact with you. He hates love it I see he hates it was you did lock in I feel I feel so

close to them look at it you really can't look at it look at it look at it look at me he holds it he holds it he holds it he's like I do feel close to Jay. Lou, come on. There's so much wrong with you. What? What happened? Slide whistle. Oh, the procedure's brief. Let me hear that. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Slide. Um, let's do it. No, I can't. Just give it a taste. Just give it a taste. Just give it a taste. It's really free minutes. I'm here.

I like to. Ben time. It's two minutes. But if we bend it, we have like three minutes. I got like two minutes. Ben time, it's two minutes. But if we bend it, it can be three. Dude, a footwear company presents it, diamond girl by Dustin Tavella. Oh my God, dude. Lowercase first letter. He's a cabb�t of the rest of the year.

The song's about my adopted kids and booties. Give a little contact, who is this? He won a GT, he was the, he was the, the magician, the G- the magician magician that would incorporate his family remember the guy got married on this day my daughter we talked about yeah yeah so just get ready yeah genius genius he was kind of a dildo oh damn duty zap his fucking feet shut up shut up shut up. Did you please do the shower? Oh, oh my god. Oh, dude. Oh he dances. Yes, and his sneakers light up like LA gear Oh, dude

We need a whole other hour because the guy behind him I could talk about for fucking 10 minutes must have us. Yeah Who It's on blows, but he can dance It's on blows, but he can dance. Why didn't you do this for the talent show? Because you would have gotten fucking stuffed. Because he can't sing. This is... ...computer. This is like, stocked Justin Timberlake. Like, when you can't afford the Justin Timberlake song.

Like, we got a guy that kind of does that just for like commercials and shit We're having our husbands be like an open mic or this type of musician Hey, baby, I'm a little more studio time can you stay with the kids? Oh my kids got a stand-up that the music is my children now P you yeah Today this is his website just have his music. Yeah, it's just for his music No, that's comedy too. Or his magic. Oh, fuck did you call music magic merch? Dude, we gotta get merch. I'm gonna be dripping in his shit jimelson dust and merch

Where to wow this is just It's just so this Dance music Wait, this is like the kind of music where you hear people at stoplights with it You just have to look at him you're like what kind of person are you? Who are you? His way to go to your website? he goes do you would like to hear about my magic or my fruity twirling around? Yeah.

Join us in me do the do you see me do evil or do you want to watch me suck? Oh sorry I brought the wrong outfit I brought my I brought my magic hat instead of my dance show. Oh Dartanian behind me. Where does the a guy in Caprice? Yeah it's not. I'm not Christine. No it's not. Hey dude He's got a wet slide for it

Yeah, you open your slide for a guy where it's Caprice you are baggie Caprice big jconry.com Dance order dot com the bonfire merch dot com. We'll see you on Monday at the bonfire SX sounds Monday We're being Monday, right? Yeah, we're gonna be in Monday. It's not your team. Yeah, right? No We love you listen the most important thing that we all know. Every since day one we've been saying it for seven years now. We have. And it's not just the word of me, it's the word of the Lord, Jesus Christ himself.

Let the lamb, let the lamb bring it to the floor. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!